The Pointless Pleasure of Sex 01

This story is set in New Zealand so there are a few terms that may appear confusing. 'Tramping,' is a word for hiking, trekking or backpacking. 'Bach,' is a small dwelling often a holiday home. It is derived from the word bachelor, when it was once often used as a dwelling for single men. 'Bush,' refers to natural forest as opposed to plantation forest. Whanau is a Māori word for an extended family where members may or may not be relatives. The word has lately taken on a meaning for non-Māori extended family relationships as well. I have used established place names. If they are confusing, try googling them.

The Pointless Pleasure of Sex Part One

A Husband Abandoned for a Lesbian

THE ACT

We can all think of those famous acts that have changed history, The assassination of Julius Caesar, of Archduke Franz Ferdinand at Sarajevo or Kennedy at Dallas.

But those acts exist in our private lives too. That one event that changes our lives for better or for worse. It can be the making of us or the breaking of us. Here is the story of one such act whose consequences changed the lives of the few touched by it.

*****

There was a soft knock at the door, Nic opened it expectantly with a smile she reserved for

In gushed Emma accompanied by a rush of cold air from outside. The interior was warm and dimly lit with candles emitting a soft orange glow. Lit earlier, a lingering smell of incense still hung in the air.

"Oh, I'm so glad to get here, my refuge. I feel so free coming here," Emma red faced and out of breath babbled.

Nic steadied her, hands on Emma's shoulders as they kissed, a quick smooch on the cheek.

"Can I take your coat?" Emma was already disrobing her light brown trench coat revealing the white blouse and tailored skirt she had worn that day at work.

Nic hung it on a stand beside the door and with a swing she tightened her floral housecoat while ushering Emma into the open plan kitchen sitting area.

"What's going on Emma, have you had a fight with James or something."

"Oh, it was the worst, absolutely the worst. We have never fought like that before." Emma over dramatized.

"Shit! Did he hit you."

"No, no, no, nothing like that. You of all people know he would never touch me like that. In fact, it makes me mad he can be so even tempered."

"Did he shout at you? I have never really heard him shout."

Emma was slightly deflated." Oh, I suppose I was doing all the shouting." The confession caused Emma to giggle. The infectious giggle was caught by Nic who gestured Emma toward a sofa.

"Would you like wine?" snuffled Nic, stifling the giggle."

"Oh, hell yes, do I ever." This was the cause for another giggle from Emma.

"What's it all about then?" Nic had her back to Emma as she poured two glasses of a pinot noir.

"Oh, the usual. He's at work all the time. We are supposed to be working for a baby but he keeps putting it off. Saying that he has to get this monster project out of the way. He says we are almost there but he keeps extending. I don't think it will ever be finished. It's been going on since he took over that new R & D unit. He comes home late and we just have mechanical sex like he's one of those blasted machines he has."

"Now there's a thought." sniggered Nic. There was a silence as Emma pondered what Nic meant followed by an explosion of giggles.

Nic put the wine glasses onto the glass table in front of Emma then turned to take some crackers and cheese off the bench that she had prepared in advance. Placing those on the table she smiled at Emma, "I am glad you have settled down. You certainly sounded extremely upset when you phoned me, blubbing and all." Nic then approached Emma, legs bent and apart, arms out with fingers like claws, swaying side by side in a mock monster gait, she growled, "I thought the dreaded monster was coming to get you." The comical sight of Nic hamming this up brought forward another explosion of giggles from Emma. This went on with Nic staring at Emma in wonderment as she tried to recover her composure.

Just as Emma recovered Nic began a repeat performance only this time the thing had them both giggling. The giggling continued until both were struggling to catch their breath and Nic collapsed onto the sofa and took Emma into her arms until both had their breath back, their hearts relaxed in sync. Nic cuddled Emma as she submitted herself into her arms, their breasts crushing as Emma's head slipped under Nic's chin.

'Shit,' Emma Murmured, "If those people at work could see us here on the couch giggling like school girls, they would really be shocked."

Nic agreed. She leaned over and kissed Emma on her forehead. Doing so she pressed more firmly against Emma. Emma, realizing Nic had no bra, felt Nic's Nipple hard against her. The thought brought forth a thrilling sensation deep inside. She felt aroused, retracting her pelvic floor, shuffling her legs, knowing that her knickers were becoming damp. This had been happening lately confusing Emma. Friendship had turned into lesbian attraction.

******

Nic and Emma used to spend an hour after work every Friday with the others from work. They would generally agree on different bars. This began to extend to two hours as Emma stayed on after the others left. Occasionally there would be just Emma and Nic. Nic had lately become more assertive when they met like this. Nic would touch Emma chastely on the arm or hand. When alone there were quick private cuddles and the odd smooch culminating on one Friday when, perhaps, they had drunk a little too much.

On this Friday Nicola asked Emma where she thought the relationship was going. Having to discuss her feelings put Emma on spot.

"I think a lot about you Nic. I like to imagine what it must be like to lie in bed together cuddling. Sometimes when I am making love with James, I think of you and try to believe that it is you and I having sex."

"Do you imagine having sex with other women than me?"

"No, they don't interest me, it is only you."

"What would happen if I just broke our relationship off?"

"Just make the best of it with James, I guess."

"Listen Emma, I am not into having sex with anyone bicurious nor am I interested in one-night stands. If we get together you have to commit, you understand. You need to understand the risks here. James is a powerful man in our world. This has to be discreet, any exposure could damage us badly."

"I am getting to the stage where I don't really care, darling." It was the first time she used the term darling with Nic; it was a word she reserved for James but it just seemed to slip out easily and it caused them to pause.

Then Emma continued, "I don't know, perhaps I am confused. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before."

"Well, I don't want to be accused of seducing a work colleague. It would not do anything for my career."

"Oh please, Nic, you can seduce me anytime anywhere. It's love my darling, nobody can fight love. In the end you just have to manage the consequences."

Nicola was both taken aback and touched by Emma's romantic fantasy. She wondered who was seducing who here.

"I will think about it Emma, in the meantime we better pay for the meal and leave."

Outside in the cool night air when about to part, Nic turned to Emma and gave her a quick kiss. As Nic pressed against her, Emma felt herself pulse from her lips to her dampening undies. As she walked away, she suddenly became ashamed that something she would feel with James in the past was happening with a woman.

The following Friday when they were leaving Nic cranked up a notch when she kissed Emma and for the first time used her tongue. Emma's involuntary action was not to push her away but draw Nic close, rubbing her groin into Nic's thigh. They staggered forward to a waiting taxi while Nic remained draped over Emma reaching down and gripping a breast and Emma's mons, kneading it briefly through the fabric of Emma's skirt while nuzzling her neck. The effect on Emma was like an electric shock from her Mons to her heart. She stiffened and as she drew in her breath she could feel her heart pounding. Her body trembled. But this public display was a step too far and Emma recovered her composure and pushed Nic away. However, Nic had made her intentions clear by her actions and Emma understood.

Discussing this quietly, the following week at work, Nic suggested that they should explore their feelings toward one another a bit more. Emma was sure of her growing sexual feelings toward Nic. She had never considered herself as having lesbian tendencies before and was curious to where it might lead. The idea made her feel sexy in a way she had not felt for some time. Nic's interests in her titillated and she thought, "why not?" as it was not as though Nic was another man and could get her pregnant or abuse her. Nic suggested that Emma should get away from home on Thursday and come over to Nic's Apartment. Nic's Partner Elise, who according to Nic was planning on leaving her, would be away that night.

******

Back to the present Emma was staring into Nic's eyes in wonder. Nic had one hand gently cocking Emma's chin as she lent down and kissed her on her lips. Nic was taking her time.

Emma felt her chest rising and falling with deep breaths as their breasts rhythmically crushed.

Nic lightly ran her tongue across Emma's lips before sinking it into her eager mouth. Nic's tongue was to Emma exceptionally long and she exalted in it curling within her mouth and running along the inside of her cheeks.

Nic began to undo the buttons of Emma's blouse slowly one by one, all the time continuing the assault on Emma's mouth. She paused to lightly massage Emma's breasts as they rose and fell with her breath. Nic then slipped a hand under Emma's white bra. Emma was proud of her perky cone shaped boobs. Not too big and not too small. As Nic's palms slid across Emma's nipples, Emma felt their resistance, in her mind they seemed huge and rock hard, a tingling sensation emanating from them spreading and enveloping her body.

Nic pushed aside the bra and blouse and gently leaned in to softly pinch the nipples and stretch them with her fingers then to suck one of Emma's breasts. Emma's mind went blank. Her back arched as she absorbed the sensations radiating from her breast now tightly gripped and sucked by Nic. Nic continued, licking and pinching the nipple with her lips.

Nic stopped, sat aback a little as they stared into each other's eyes. Emma felt utterly and uniquely desired, there was no comparison for her. She was stunned silent, speechless wanting more. Nic complied with the unspoken request returning to her breast then sweeping aside the blouse and bra, she turned her ministrations to both. Emma's face swung this way and that as waves of sensation washed through her.

Nic shuffled around and while kneading one breast began pushing up her skirt to stroke Emma's thigh, all the time moving slowly. Nic massaged Emma's thighs with both hands as Emma replaced Nic, massaging her own breast. Emma involuntarily spread her legs responding to her uncomfortable heat and wetness. Nic lifted Emma's panties aside revealing Emma's hairless widening clam, the inner lips swollen and clit hood glistening wet.

Nic began to massage the excited and gelatinous ensemble. Initially The sensation was too much and she snapped her legs shut, giggling and reached for Nic's hand.

Nic stopped allowing Emma to relax then she began again slowly. Pushing lightly so that each push pulsed through Emma's body. Emma's eyes were tightly shut as her mind soaked up each pulse. Nic took two fingers and a thumb, the two fingers began to work their way between the wet swollen lips into Emma's vagina but as her thumb pushed up and under the clitoral hood Emma jerked, her eyes snapping wide.

This was an action James would do. His face came to her mind as though it was he, in front of her and doing that. Opening her eyes she saw Nic and the sight sent a wave of guilt and shame through. She pushed Nic roughly.

"No! We should not be doing this. I don't want to lose James." Emma was briefly overcome by guilt.

Nic stood up sharply, and swung around and approached the kitchen bench adjusting her housecoat. She started moving glasses around.

"Well, I guess you should get back to your precious James. Anyway, I have a big day tomorrow I should be going to bed."

Emma bent over, her head in her hands thinking wildly. "No.... no. I'm sorry, I'm OK," She repeated," OK."

Nic turned around.

"Stand up!" She ordered sharply.

Emma dutifully stood slowly up.

"Do you Dance?" She continued curtly.

Emma Nodded.

Nic gestured, arms out to dance and Emma sunk into her arms. Around and around, they went. As they did so Nic kissed her with a passionate angry tongue. Nic began to slowly disrobe Emma, piece by piece until she stood totally naked and erect. Nic, with both hands on her shoulders, pushed her back then stepped back to admire her nakedness. Emma felt Nic's laser eyes scanning her body. An intense feeling of desire welled up in her, a feeling that she could almost convulse with it.

Emma was slim but not without shape, the gym had given her a tight athlete's body. Her eyes were an iridescent blue and her skin pale. Her mons was pronounced and hairless, its slit now widening and weeping with desire. Her cone shaped boobs stood proud with pink nipples engorged and stiff. Her natural blonde hair was still tied up in her work fashion but strands loose from her exertions, hanging seductively and framing her large blue eyes, high cheekbones and pink full lips. Her smile, radiant, a smile she could light up a room when the mood took her, and it had taken her now.

A wave of desire enveloped Nic and she touched herself through her robe. "Your turn. Strip me." She barked

Emma moved around and began to take off Nic's housecoat revealing a light singlet stretched over her large swaying torpedo boobs and a pair of retro men's Y fronts. Emma worked the Y fronts down Nic's legs.

Emma lifted the singlet and Nic stepped out of the Y fronts and stood back straight to allow Emma the sight of her body in its raw state. Her torpedo boobs fully exposed seemed to have a life of their own swaying and jiggling with very movement. Nic was dark, almost a black brunette. She retained her body hair in her underarms and mons where it was a thick delta lightly trimmed at the edges. She had a slight hourglass figure with heavy boobs with brown nipples. Her skin was olive and her hair thick and wavy cut into an unruly medium bob. Thick eyebrows topped a rounded face and full lips. It was a naturally beautiful and unmade face with just the whiff of patchouli oil, her only nod to cosmetics.

Emma whispered. "Oh my god, Nic you are so unbelievable, so beautiful."

Once they had both taken in and absorbed the sight of their glorious naked bodies they reached for one another and began a hot impassioned standing embrace. Nic's and Emma's mouths locked together in a salivary oral fervent. Their boobs pressed and locked together. Emma lifted her leg and began frantically thrusting and rubbing her mons into Nic's thigh. Nic pushed Emma back onto the couch and resumed her attack on Emma's vagina, her two fingers finding the spot and rubbing forward and back as her thumb was under the clitoral hood pushing and stretching it. This time there was no pushing back. Emma clinched her boobs squeezing and massaging them as Nic slid down until her mouth covered Emma's vulva. She blew her hot breath into it. Emma had her legs stretched wide as hard as she could, reached down and began to pinch and rub her now fully erect clit. Nic was free to unleash her tongue. That long and luscious tongue began to snake its way into Emma's vagina. For Emma it was a totally new sensation, not a cock, not a dildo, but an alive erotic being of its own mind slithering around in her hole, lubricated by Nic's mouthwatering hunger for Emma's liberal juices.

Nic paused, uttering," Oh Emma, you taste so heavenly. You are by far the best, so delectable and yummy. Oh, it's nectar, Hun really, I so want you badly, you have to be mine, only mine,"

For Emma, nobody had ever suggested that her natural juices could be something delectable and special to be desired and feasted upon. The thought resonated with her pride, distracting her from Nic's darker point. To become Nic's possession.

Nic Paused, lifting her head and staring at the wet swollen display before her. Emma stretched her legs out a little more, her hips giving little excited thrusts proffering her saturated and engorged cunt, craving and begging for gratification and pleasure. Nic complied, leaning down so that her face hovered while her practiced agile tongue flicked around Emma's inner thighs and her mons before penetrating her now slimy hairless slithery folds, her tongue deftly exposing the projecting clit from its hood. Nic raised her head and paused at Emma's perfect reddened vulva. Nic then parted the smooth plump flawless and puffy outer lips exposing her lacey trimmed portal. She wondered how many times James' cock passed through this portal. This portal that was once James was now hers. James' trophy wife would become her trophy wife. She could be her lipstick girl. She had never had a lipstick lesbian before. Yes, she would be her trophy. With that, Nic pointed her long tongue then dived, forcing it into the deep depths of Emma's gaping vagina.

Nic continued thrusting her tongue slowly and deliberately and becoming more energised by increments until Emma began to tremble, her back arching finally breaking into a shattering orgasm that seemed to go on and on. The normally quiet Emma screamed loudly. The excitement of this new unprecedented girl on girl experience had driven her new heights. She could not recall an orgasm like it?

They relaxed, gasping with exertion, reeking with their sex; "Now you, me." Muttered Nic.

"I, I, I have never done that to a woman." Emma stuttered.

"No matter, just do what I did to you. I will direct you, I will be your teacher, just take it slowly."

"Ok teacher, let's start," Emma felt a new enthusiasm for sex, she was on a plateau of randy-ness desiring more of Nic. They lay in contemplative silence.

Nic finally spoke, "I think we should continue this in bed. Come on, lets go." Nic Stood and taking Emma by the hand, she pulled her up and holding hands they leaned into one another as they shuffled toward the bedroom and Nic's bed.

Emma's seduction was complete; Emma had fucked outside of her marriage and consented to a night of sex with another, other than her husband.

This act of infidelity would have consequences that had yet to enter Emma's mind, obscured as it was by the excitement of new love and lust. Those consequences would change the course of the lives of those closest to both of them as well as spark Emma's own descent into an abyss of private hell.

*********

THE STORY

These days we seem to live in a world of individualistic pursuit of happiness, trying to find that happiness through relentless pleasure. However, pleasure through sex feels good until ennui sets in and sex becomes a habit.

What tends to be forgotten is that you only know happiness through experiencing unhappiness, one balances the other, the ying and the yang.

Love can bring both happiness and pleasure but to be sustainable it needs work and commitment to ensure engagement, to weather unhappiness and restore happiness. Pleasure can destroy happiness; it can be an addiction that drives us away from the people we love. Pleasure for its own sake can drive us down dark paths that will end in despair.

One of these dark paths is where new love brings pleasure at the expense of existing love. It is better to revitalise pleasure with the existing but somehow it seems easier with someone new. This pursuit of new love inevitably is a path to unhappiness no matter what pleasure it brings. Instead of looking for the root cause of unhappiness the easy path is chosen, but it is chosen as a distraction rather than a solution and can lead to the unintended consequences.

In this story, four people learn these lessons the hard way and in the centre is James Connelly. In 1850 the Connelly's joined the Canterbury pilgrims arriving in New Zealand on one of the first four ships making them an old established Christchurch family.

James' father died in a car accident when James was young. He went on to become the eldest of a large blended Family when his mother remarried. His mother had remarried to a widower who had lost his wife to cancer and had a boy and daughter of his own to add to James and his two sisters.

His mother and stepfather went on to have another child, this time a boy. It was a very musical family. James' mother had bonded with his stepdad through their mutual love of classical music. They met a social group for single parents and his mother who was a cello player of some renown captured his stepfather's heart from the first meeting. Many of the children followed the love of music, learning instruments and filling the household with their musical backdrop.

The family had no particular religious or political affiliation but best be described as informal adherents of stoicism. James' mother Patricia Connelly believed in the virtues of wisdom, justice, courage and moderation and worked to instil them into her offspring. She encouraged the family to take up a duty to help others less fortunate and they would often be involved in charitable causes. Every Christmas day two or three of the children would be with the mother at the city mission helping out with meals for the homeless and destitute. She was certain that kindness and taking care of others did the same to yourself, your own happiness and self-fulfilment. It built reliance, self-esteem and confidence and all the children believed her and benefited from her advice.

James took on these values wholeheartedly. To him the world was only what he knew and understood and there were no mystical forces guiding him or determining his fate. He believed, as his mother would, that you must always treat others as you wished to be treated, devoid of the negative emotions of hatred and fear. When challenged it was best to have the courage to take action with knowledge and understanding not prejudice and ignorance.

He would agree that the unadulterated natural world is the real world we are born into and we cannot concern ourselves with those external things that we cannot change. His motivation in life was not aggrandisement, wealth or power it was simply to make positive change and inspire others to do that with him.

Contact with the natural world was a logical result of families' beliefs enjoying the outdoors from the snowfields to the sea, frequently taking part in snowboarding, tramping, mountain biking and camping trips in the bush and wilderness. As the oldest sibling James assumed a special responsibility in helping to look after this gaggle of young siblings and step siblings. With those responsibilities James needed to have his own space from time to time and he found this in surfing and sailing.

As his life's story progressed, he was to find those values challenged in the most personal way.

James developed a close bond with his new stepfather, who was the owner of a large engineering company. He accepted his stepfather as a mentor leading to a lifetime's fascination in engineering.

Building on a practical foundation of engineering, James's mind was drawn to the creative and innovative side. The advances in electronic systems, artificial intelligence, dimensional printing, robotics and aerospace filled his mind beyond the confines of his father's conventional manufacturing business. Huge companies overseas were setting sights beyond earth and into space and he wondered obsessively where he could contribute.

He took to tramping, bush walking on his own away from the family. The forest environment relaxed him and gave him time to dream of the possibilities and their practical building blocks. As he entered university, he left his sea bound activities, confining himself to the forests of the mountains and hills preferring that and the gym to keep his mind and body fit.

James was never a slick clean-cut sort of a guy. His features were slightly craggy, what he called jokingly his rugged good looks. His hair was slightly long but with his confidence he was tall and handsome. Perhaps it was his surfing and sailing giving him the weather-beaten edge that did it. From a young age he looked powerful and manly, someone you wouldn't mess with but he also had a sharp intellect, and a disarming ability with his smiling resting face to exude a warmth that was attractive to those he interacted with. His problem was women. He was no womanizer but he struggled with them on a personal level. Much better and easier in professional life to treat them as colleagues. In all this he was the consummate engineer, no nonsense, practical and logical.

At university he was as socially popular as he was at college. He was a natural leader in class as well. He would often be found in intense discussions with friends at parties and cafes. Perhaps to some this may seem boring but he was charismatic, interesting and full of grandiose ideas. He willingly was called upon to organise events whether as part of class or socially. His organisational skills assured success. People latched on to his energy, and enthusiasm. In the crowds at university, he caught the eye of many women. But driven as he was there were those who could not keep up were left broken hearted in his wake.

He was not perfect; his family experience, bred in him empathy and thoughtfulness for others but at a personal level he could be remote, withdrawing into his own world. Even the young women sharing his bed could find him impenetrable. It's not that he wanted to be that way but to move beyond the exercise of lust with a woman he also required intellectual compatibility. He had no truck with religion; the engineering side of him dictated that if an engine lacked a component, then no amount of praying would make it start.

For him, if there was not the scientific evidence then there had to be the empirical evidence to verify fact. Unfortunately, this spilt into romantic relationships. He was not prone to flattery and believed that flattery was the tool of charlatans. He believed that credit should be given where credit was due and he could be quite effusive about giving credit and his appreciation of it when it was deserved. But when it came to those delicate areas of diplomacy and those fuzzy subjective areas of responding to a woman's needs of affirmation, say, just using a little flattery to make them feel good, he was very black and white. To his detriment he often lacked the necessary discretion.

He was going to have to learn that the hard way. His own family tolerated it; they knew that part of his personality and loved him just the same. But when it came to his romantic partnerships, he would bear the consequences in a hard education.

Jame's university career was stellar. James was the product of Christ College, an old traditional English styled school where they all wore school uniforms to a backdrop of ornate stone buildings. Following his time at Canterbury University he took a scholarship overseas. He arrived back in New Zealand from overseas at the age of 25 with a prestigious doctorate after having achieved a double degree locally including a masters with first class honours. He had been pondering an academic career but there were organisations tracking him and he was head hunted by one, a stable, reputable organisation on the ascendency.

They made him an offer he could not refuse and the bait was he would be commencing with hands-on work which suited his love of engineering as mentored by his stepfather. His stepfather had long since understood that he would be destined for greater things that his own firm could offer and it was left to his younger brothers to pick up those particular reigns. His father proudly gave his tick and James commenced his career in the real world. James chose Cuthberts Global or rather Cuthberts chose him.

*****

Nicola de Acosta was a bogun. She came from the West Coast of the South Island. Her mother had been a school teacher and filled Nicky's early years with books but her mother had fallen in love with Nicky's father, a Spanish immigrant which eventually led to her demise. His name was Pedro de Acosta; he had an awful reputation and was known as Pete the Plumber by the locals largely due to his treatment of women. He became an addict and dealer and was eventually busted along with Nicky's mother. He was deported and Nicky's mother spent two years in jail along with an alcohol and drug treatment programme.

Because they were a large and stable family, James's parents would from time to time take in an adolescent foster child. After the imprisonment of her parents Nicky arrived in the Connelly home and rapidly became Nicola. She spent two years with the Connelly family becoming friends with two of James' younger siblings Tom and especially Cynthia (or Cyn as her young friends called her.) They attended the same classes at high school and became friendly academic rivals. Nicola shed her shabby west coast attire. In her school uniform and the casual clothes bought for her she looked no different than her new friends. She also took up sport and became a member of the school women's sevens team.

After two years her mother was released and she returned to the West Coast.

While she was with the family, James had little to do with Nicola. He considered her Tom and Cynthia's friend but in his second year at university Nicola made an appearance as a student. She became an identity around Uni. She had reverted to Nicky the bogan, she wore torn black jeans and boots and rode a dirt bike. At this stage they would acknowledge and smile at one another but nothing else.

******

On joining Cuthberts James was assigned a buddy as part of their graduate programme. James was surprised to find, by coincidence, Nicola de Acosta working there. In her corporate attire she seemed the antithesis of the girl he once knew. She was a growing star in the financial department.

Nicola had looked up to him in the family and remembered him at the university where he achieved his masters. They were in separate departments, but she noticed him around uni. Her friends would talk about him. She saw his confidence, and he was always surrounded by people. He was tall, athletic looking, the antithesis of an academic nerd. He was considered a catch and he did not seem to have a problem with girlfriends so she thought him out of her league

Nicky had now reverted to Nicola. She still rode her dirt bike but she sartorially now presented herself more appropriate to her station and less boganic.

She requested that she be assigned his buddy as they knew one another. James was now in her clutches, so to speak.

On his part he recognised Nicola as an intellectual equal although she seemed to lack confidence. Her boganic past did not trouble him as she had fitted well within his family. It was James' confidence and kindness that attracted Nicola and it was not long before they were an item outside of work time.

In public Nicola always stayed close to James as though she possessed him. She would hang onto his arm or put her arm around him. She liked to show him off to other envious women. He was her symbol of status. Nicola would publicly kiss and snuggle up to him in a display of romantic attachment. There was no mistaking by her friends that he was her man. They appeared together at functions and parties as the perfect couple. It was not long before it was taken for granted that they would marry.

On James' side he was obviously smitten with her. Not a man normally given to public displays of affection he returned her affection with enthusiasm. But her public display of ownership contrasted with her private behaviour where she was less so affectionate and cooler. When alone together she would be standoffish and their close relations involved hours of intense discussion about this and that rather than cuddling. It was all very intellectual discussing the plays and movies they saw, the restaurants, the food and wine they drank and work.

A month into their relationship Nicola went silent for a week, calling in sick leave for work. She put off James who fretted about what could have happened. At the end of the week, she confided to James she had become pregnant and had an abortion and no it was not his and no, she did not need any assistance from anyone. James was astounded at her clinical response to the situation admiring her resolve and calculation in this.

Perhaps through rose tinted specs he was in denial of its implications. She would not say who the father was or the circumstances under which she became pregnant, only to say that it was a brief liaison before they had paired up. There was nobody close to her that he could imagine being the father. In confidence it was something he could not discuss with their friends but any discreet and oblique enquiry revealed nothing.

James was profoundly disturbed by her actions and he expressed his worry as he cared for her. It should have been a warning sign for him but she appeared so devoted to him following the incident that it passed into memory. If anything, the shared crisis drew them closer together.

Sex came quickly to their relationship but for James it was never quite satisfactory. There was plenty of desire and Nicola was an absolute mistress of the blow job. James had never met anyone as adept. Using both hands she would stretch the skin of his appendage and with her incredible tongue would work around under his cap. She had the ability to use her mouth and tongue artfully while not taking her brown eyes off his, staring up and pausing occasionally so that he did not blow prematurely. Her boobs were simply made for tit fucking; she would lube them and wrapped her torpedoes around his rock had cock and massage it expertly. James best reciprocation was to go down on her for which she responded wildly, demanding more. But when it came to fucking, James found from the start she was always dry and slow to arouse. Instead, they resorted to lubrication and regularly doing it anal.

Nicola was desperate to please her man and she was happy to prepare herself for what she liked to call nookie. It was her kink to do it spontaneously. James might be watching TV for example, and Nicola would skip into the room naked and plant herself on all fours between him and the TV. She would display and twerk her perfect twin orbs for him, with her anus prepared, lubricated and dilated. "Time for nookie" she would cry. It was a kooky private thing but it made their sexual life work.

Nicola moved into James' furnished central city apartment. Living together was a first for both of them. They seemed to fit domestically, taking equal shares in their domestic duties although James did most of the cooking. The early days were full of giggles and laughter. They would often have friends around for dinner and card games. Nicolas' identity in the apartment soon became evident as she introduced her own artworks, books and bedding. James' own aesthetic bent was minimalist but this was soon eclipsed by a few nicknacks that took the edge off it. James loved the change as it made the apartment homier and more welcoming. It was their little nest, not just his.

Despite the otherwise relaxed companionship they shared living together, the lack of vaginal sex seemed to be a problem. It was clear she experienced pain as he penetrated her stubbornly dry vagina despite attempts to lubricate. Anal sex was fun for James but satisfaction for both relied on oral and mutual mechanical stimulation. James could never get out of his head that someone had got her pregnant and he wondered how.

James enjoyed their sex life but it took effort from Nicola and he noticed Nicola getting cooler and less enthusiastic over time leaving it to James to initiate sex. She was still demonstrative in public but privately she began to make excuses avoiding intimacy at any level. This was upsetting James which put added stress in the relationship. James had enjoyed and missed the intense discussions they once had and for the first time they argued. She started socializing without James on occasional evenings. As they were now not talking as they had, James did not often know where she was during the evenings.

She had always been a private person and resented what she saw as 'interrogation' about what she was doing. This began a pattern of behaviour where she would be out on her own, it may be shopping or with friends. James was not always aware of what friends she was with. James had consented to live together on the basis that they would do everything together and be open with one another but it had not turned out that way. Often James would be home alone trying to do some work, finding it hard to relax. It began infrequently but stepped up until the relationship reached a crisis when Nicola missed James' birthday for no good reason.

Nicola had forgotten and on realising what she had done and feeling so guilty about it she came completely clean. They decided to sit down for a full and frank discussion. In James' mind the abortion reared its ugly head for the first time. He thought that she must have another man who could satisfy her in a way he could not.

They had their talk following a meal. The meal was a simple Italian affair as James did not want to complicate the night. Initially they discussed general inconsequential things but after dinner they sat down with their wine and James taking the lead, stated that he was in love with her and thought she felt the same but he seemed to be losing her.

"I know, I'm sorry I have been avoiding this." Nicola began to cry. Nicola prided herself as a hard woman and this was a first for James as he had never seen her cry. He went into a quiet panic.

Nicola sniffed, dabbing her eyes with a tissue she took from her carry bag.

"The truth is, I think I am gay."

"You think you are what?" James was shocked, it was the last thing he was thinking. He thought it was this other guy, the one that made her pregnant.

"Actually, I am a lesbian, I know that now."

"S-surely, you must be bi, The sex we..."

Nicola cut him off. "My mind was on other things. Anyway, it was never ultimately satisfying. I have discovered what true sex can be."

"What on earth how, fuck me Nicola, what have you been doing? Do you have a girlfriend or something?"

"Not yet. I was curious and started going to gay bars. Playing the field, I suppose. It became obvious who I really am."

"I thought you must have another man. Perhaps you had gone back to whoever made you pregnant."

"No, absolutely not!" Nicola shouted." I would never have cheated with you with another man. This is simply about sexual orientation. I felt that I could not carry a sexual relationship with you if we were not sexually compatible."

"But how did you become pregnant? I doubt that the sex we have been having could produce that result. "

"Let's just say it was a very unusual man. A group of us girls used to hang out at his flat, we were fascinated with him. Things would get a bit out of hand I suppose. There was a lot of MDMA, weed and alcohol and a lot of group affection and we would take turns riding him. In my naivety I didn't think it could happen, but it did."

James was stunned. Although James had his own wild times at Uni, he and Nicola had never had anything but wine and beer together. James considered the wild times behind him.

"This guy, is it anyone I know or would have seen?"

"No, he's trans." James gaped at the admission, unable to speak. "Nicola continued." Sorry James, I don't know what other way to tell you all this. I should have twigged that I was gay then but I thought it was just ecstasy. I thought it might help us and was going to suggest it, but..." She trailed off.

James cut in, "Maybe, but it never affected me that way. How did you first get together with girls?"

"Oh, you know me, I don't confide in people much. But I was worried, you know, you and me and there was this woman I know who I thought was gay and I asked her. She invited me to go with her to a gay bar. Nothing much happened, but I was fascinated and it turned me on. I met a few lezzes and they were pretty cool so I went back. Things used to get pretty raunchy as the night went on but I was too inhibited to do anything much in public. That was until I had my first real experience in the loos. Some young girl I didn't even know just took me in a cubicle and I never looked back."

"Listen Nicola, I can't process this, what does this really mean for us? Whether or not it was a man or woman I still feel cheated on. The old man better not find out that you're a lesbian. You know how conservative he is." James was referring to Ken Baxter, their CEO, a devoutly Christian man.

"Well, I did not choose to be this way. At some time, I am going to have to come out." She looked at James, a look of an imploring puppy dog written across her face. "Can you please not say anything to anyone before I do."

James began clutching at straws. "What if you stayed in the closet? What if you and I remained an item, even getting married but we agreed you could have your private liaisons and even a Lesbian partner."

Nicola was adamant, "No! Lesbians have done that for centuries. That would be dishonest. There would always be risks, especially of exposure. It could not be a stable relationship. I know that's not what you would want. "

"But it is only sex we are talking about. I know you love me or say you do. When people get married it is normal to forsake all others. Do you really need the sex that much? We seemed to have a pretty good sex life of our own."

Nicola shut it down. "That's not going to work, James. I know what you are saying. For better or for worse that's what I want to do. Maybe that's me. If I was cis, maybe I would want more than one man, and open marriage, maybe. Let's just draw a line under it."

Although calm outwardly, James's emotions were in turmoil, the puppy dog look of compassion she gave him tore at his heart but conversely, she was effectively coldly breaking their relationship. Somehow, he had thought something like this was coming and, in that sense, he was prepared. He was not about to flare with anger or self-pity, so the conversation carried on.

In James's heart he never quite believed it. There was the weird feeling of relief as he could not shake that it was not another man. He reluctantly agreed to carry on as normal, at least at work. They would still live together and do things socially from time to time. James' motivation was that this would be a temporary aberration. He could not believe that the woman that would snuggle up to him when they were out and the intense rapport they had in private could be lesbian, she had to be bi, whatever she thought.

With it all out in the open, the secrecy was gone and they were talking together again. They even resumed having sex albeit oral. However, it was clear she was doing it for him rather than herself.

It was hard for James who could not shake a constant feeling of frustration. Nicola was becoming quite enthusiastic about her new found gayness and began schooling James up about her experience. She even had a small party to introduce James to some of her friends. In appearance most of the guests James would not necessarily expect to be gay.

There were those that look classically gay to him and even a couple of trans males. He was introduced to a person who identified themself as nonbinary, a term he struggled with. He was challenged on what his own gender identification was but he had never had to think about this and it all seemed to be too complicated. It did confirm to him that he was unwaveringly cis, a Bonafide card carrying heterosexual and there would be no straying from that. Also, as far as Nicola was concerned it was obvious that there would be no going back.

Things came to a head one night when Nicola brought a friend home and James woke up hearing a noise, got up and found them having sex in the living room. Standing quietly at the bedroom door and watching them make out on the sofa he felt strangely detached from the scene. Neither did it turn him on nor did it anger him. They were clothed and lying on the sofa but were intently and noisily stimulating each other. As he heard Nicola reaching what sounded like orgasm he turned and quietly returned to the bed. He just knew at that point they had to part. They both needed their privacy.

Eventually he heard, whoever it was, leaving and Nicola entered the bedroom. It was late and Nicola had obviously been drinking. Thinking James asleep she quietly got into bed naked reeking of booze and the sex she just had. Startled, James was inexplicably aroused and felt a desperate urge to have sex with her. Nicola perhaps feeling guilty let him go so far but it ended with giving him a blow job. It was rough, James pulling her in by her hair so that she fully took his dick into her throat nearly choking her as he ejaculated leaving her coughing and in tears,

James sank back, "Sorry Nicola This is not working. I think we might have to think about you getting a place of your own." Nicola nodded. "I am sorry too. I didn't want to do that but we had nowhere else to go. I am sorry it upset you."

"I had been expecting something like this to happen anyway so it was not a shock. We are both going to need privacy if we want to entertain anyone."

They lay there together for a while, both awake. James could hear Nicola quietly sobbing. Despite all, they both genuinely cared for one another and although they both knew they would have to part it was going to be a wrench.

And so, Nicola moved out. James was again alone in his minimalist apartment. The loss of her identity from the walls and the nicknacks seemed to be the worst of it.

******

Life moved on. It was difficult being downgraded to friends for James, but he lived in hope. He had intense waves of jealousy when they discussed what she was doing and finally agreed to no longer talk about that side of her life. He effectively became her cover at work and on social occasions when it was appropriate. James never dated another. All assumed they were still together and were even asked when they planned to marry.

Nicola on her part kept her private life discrete.

As a friend he supported her at work encouraging her to further her study and over a year completed an MBA. James' own star at work was on the rise and it was clear he was destined for greater things and had the close ear of the old man, Ken Baxter.

Nicola herself advanced through the ranks of the finance section. Then came a time that Nicola through her position was now confident and secure. A different Nicola from who James first encountered when he joined the firm.

She finally decided she would come out. It was coupled with an announcement of their breakup. They did it over drinks one Friday night with some selected workmates.

The feelings for both were of mutual freedom. For 18 months it had been an agony for James but now he had come to accept they could only be good friends and he learned to cherish that. He was unshackled and relieved that the truth was out. He went into bat for her with the old man and remained her advocate at work. They may not be lovers but he continued to hold a torch for her.

Nicola always dressed in fashionable corporate attire for work. After coming out there was little change although she tended toward culotte style dresses provided, she was not entertaining or meeting their more conservative clients and colleagues. By her urging, she began to be called Nic, reserving Nicola to formal occasions.

Over time James' star had risen further and he had been in negotiations with overseas interests and investors toward a major initiative. The germ of his initiative went back to his PhD and those many solitary walks he took in the mountains and the bush. It was a systemic proposition and drew on advances in AI, 3D fabrication and augmented reality but it would be a globally pioneering invention whose concepts were derived from his hands-on experience in physical engineering. His intention, with management's agreement, was to move the company into supporting technology for space commercial endeavour.

This is what attracted overseas investment. His audacity won over the board and the CEO of Cuthberts who could see their current business waning with the industrial trends. However, they made it clear that the risks were all his. To progress would change the structure of the firm and its success would make or break his future. Above all the value of the components, the need for ironclad patents would drive absolute secrecy as implications of bringing this to market would attract global and military interests.

His leadership was clear and his enthusiasm made him a popular manager of staff. The responsibility of being the eldest of a large blended family was something that his parents had actively encouraged and he was even a second dad to the youngest. This seemed to translate into his management style and he was ever present to his staff in mentoring them and listening to their ideas and concerns. He was quick to praise where praise was due and the lines of conduct were well laid and communicated. His fairness and integrity in his dealings were attributes appreciated by those working with him.

It made sense and was encouraged by investors to set up an independent arm of the business with its own staff and financial structure and make James the head of it. It was simply called the research and development unit and James was made Principal Engineer R & D. The titles deliberately underplayed the significance of the unit and the achieved importance of James in the organisation.

Some staff of the unit would be seconded from the existing organisation, some recruited and some specialists imported from overseas by investors who would be fully committed partners in the initiatives. James identified and deliberately pursued some of the best brains available in the field. As this developed so did the enormous responsibility and the accompanying stress on James. It was his baby. He literally cleared the decks of his other responsibilities. His now casual relationship with Nic was convenient as he looked to his family for respite and recreation.

******

Nic had been groomed over time to become Chief Financial Officer so it was a surprise that when the position came up the old man resisted. For the first time since she came out, he was open about his aversion to Lesbians. James had now established himself as Ken's right-hand man and confidante and finally convinced him based on Nic's proven ability and the optics of having a woman in that position. After all, she had been groomed for it. The old man relented on condition that as far as the investors were concerned, she would remain James' fiancé and they would appear at functions together and to behave as such right down to her wearing an engagement ring.

This was the status of James' life when Emma appeared.

He first noticed her in the carpark of the building in which he worked. She was driving an old Nissan Figaro open topped sports car in mint condition. It had a personalized number plate 'I WIN." She was a natural pure blonde who made a statement with her little car. It was a fleeting impression but a memorable one.

The sprawling five story building in which his firm was housed was on the border of an industrial park. The top three floors were Cuthberts head office, the bottom two included a law firm and a cafe. It was early days for the firm's big undertaking and James had recently moved from the open plan area into an office of his own. This was thought necessary because of the secret nature of the undertaking. James had commenced planning for the operation to be given a new complex further away in the centre of the industrial park.

It was to James' surprise one morning when Ken Baxter ushered Emma into his office, to introduce her as a new addition to the firm's legal team. Emma was a lawyer specializing in international commercial law and she had been seconded from the law firm 'Maxwell Dow' down stairs. This firm handled much of their legal requirements. In this case Emma was to assist in agreements and other issues related to bringing into the group their overseas partners and investors.

The secondment had been at Emma's request which had been a surprise to her colleagues. The secondment might not have seemed the best career move for the firm's rising star but Emma was aware of another rising star, their clients most eligible bachelor, at least since his partner had declared herself a lesbian.

Emma was a confident, determined and accomplished lawyer. In the office she was known to be efficient and focussed. To those around her she seemed serious and officious in the way she went about her workday. She was brought up in a close loving family as an only child. And was very used to getting what she wanted, one way or another.

The old man introduced Emma as their legal representative in the continuing negotiations and he requested that James respect and work closely with her. James rose from his desk and startled the old man by breaking into a broad grin. Emma, flustered by the hasty entrance, looked up into James eyes and responded with her own grin.

The old man's eyes widened at the lack of decorum. He had never seen her smile before and it was radiant.

James' heart flipped with the smile from Emma which slightly confused him. Recovering he spoke first, "Gosh, I have seen you, you drive that old Figaro, don't you. My pleasure to meet you in person." He reached out to shake her hand and Emma, still smiling broadly willingly, took it.

"Mr Connelly, the pleasure is also mine. I very much look forward to working with you."

The old man was looking back and forth between them and wondered where that working partnership would lead.

James was always quick to grasp opportunities and saw a personal one in Emma as well as work. "I take it you are circulating the office for introductions."

The old man stepped in. "Yes, we are not making a meal of it, we are keeping Emma pretty close to the governance group involved with the mergers."

This pleased James and followed through, "Then we should get down as soon as possible to discuss how your role fits in with what I am doing. I take it you have been fully briefed."

The old man spoke up, "Yes, I spent Friday with Emma."

Emma cut in, "And he gave me a pile of homework, I spent the whole weekend going through files and literature."

And then James nailed it, "OK let's get started immediately, why don't you and I adjourn immediately to the cafe down stairs and get to know one another before we get down to the serious stuff."

The old man rolled his eyes, he knew where this was going, "well don't get too personal you do have a job to do."

Both faced the old man and both exclaimed in unison, "Absolutely! Let's get started"

Emma and James walked swiftly to the lift. James could not help making furtive glances at Emma. Something about this woman had triggered something visceral in him. In the lift he caught her staring at him in the reflection of the mirror. Conscious he had caught her she glanced down in embarrassment.

In the cafe, James took the lead in ordering coffee, "What do you like?"

"Americano is fine."

"Thank heavens for that. Keeping it simple is good."

"I am happy with the caffeine. I can't be bothered with convoluted coffee... Oh... sorry you are not..."

"No, I am the same. Americano for me."

"Sitting with their coffees the two sat there smiling at one another until they both noticed what they were doing and awkwardly composed themselves."

Emma's smile totally captivated James as did her quirky little car and registration plate.

"Why the car?" James' opening gambit.

"Oh, that's just me, I am relentlessly positive and I like to win but I don't take myself too seriously."

With that she giggled. The morning sun was shining into the cafe and James was mesmerised by her eyes as they danced and sparkled in the glare.

James was a person who could become absorbed in his work and intellectual pursuits that he could be dangerously boring. He was often in danger of metaphorically disappearing up his own orifice. He saw in this woman, in her eyes, a sense of fun, something he craved.

They continued their animated conversation. Not about work, just getting to know one another. It did not go unnoticed by others in the cafe. There happened to be colleagues of both Emma and James there and what they observed was unusual. James' colleagues were well aware of the now distant breakup between James and Nic. Was this apparent monk flirting with this woman? The rumour mill was about to start.

Likewise, Emma's colleagues noticed that the normally beautiful but unsmiling and ambitious colleague of theirs was not only smiling but giggling.

Later that afternoon by himself in his office James was mentally beating himself up. He felt embarrassed about his behaviour with this woman. What was it about her that made him behave that way? She seemed so easy to talk to, in fact he talked far too much. She was intelligent and open with him. She seemed to find a sense of humour in him that he did not know he had. They parted with him feeling he had known her for years.

Despite this spectacular first meeting they did not immediately become an item; in fact, it began a slow frustrating burn. Frustrating because every time they met, she excited James' emotions. He found himself thinking about her a lot. This did not wane until they accidently went on a date.

They generally met at meetings. They would often have a regular morning coffee on Mondays. It seemed that both were experiencing similar emotions because this was mutually anticipated. One day where there was some intensive work they decided to head out and finish over dinner. They finished their work quickly in the bar, went to dinner, had some nice wine, and returned to the bar. Found a place they could dance and ended at Emma's place.

Next morning they awoke and embraced. Emma was dressed in light shortie pjs and James in his boxers. It was a night of love but no sex. For this first night James was reticent but, with the morning waking their embrace unleashed a torrent of desire. It was short, it was missionary but it was passionate, restrained lust driven by weeks of the growing unspoken love between them. Afterward Emma rose, and padded to her closet, the shaft of morning light through the curtain highlighting her hips, and bare beautiful legs below her light shorts. James felt a surge of lust at the sight. 'Yes,' He thought, 'I could certainly love this woman.'

Later that morning they inadvertently entered the office holding hands which invoked some clapping and whistles which embarrassed them. Especially when the old man came out of his office to see what was going on. He subsequently called them in to remind them to be a little more discrete but wished them well.

They continued to meet in the cafe, and it was not long before James asked her out on a real date and in time their relationship deepened.

Despite the first passionate event, regular sex took a while but effortlessly arrived. Emma invited James to a home meal at her apartment for what was obviously going to be an all-night affair with soft lights and music. She was dressed to kill, later when they retired to her bedroom, she peeled her dress revealing the lingerie she had bought for the occasion.

She slowly stripped as they made love standing revealing her perfect nakedness to James for the first time. What he saw he was in awe of. Her skin was flawless. She had never been disfigured with acne and pimples and she was fastidious in body care. She showered twice a day and especially before sex. She was totally hairless from the neck down. Her blonde hair and pale skin gave her an ethereal aura. Her cone shaped boobs were not large and the pronounce pink nipples seem to be permanently erect. Her mons contained a slit that ran between her legs and when spread revealed a mound like a tight perfect hairless clam. Her makeup was cleverly applied leaving her natural looking apart from some contrasting colour at the eyes accentuating her cheekbones and pink of her body and complexion. Her lipstick added to the contrast making her lips appear fuller.

They stood together naked and making love, kissing and lightly brushing tongues. He nibbled her ears and neck, ran his fingers through her hair. He could feel her trembling with excited anticipation. He reached down, clutched her butt with both hands then gently steered her toward the bed.

In bed, their lovemaking was gentle and sweet. In love James was considerate and Emma seemed to respond to this. Sex was more about affection and being together rather than vigorous athleticism. James seemed wary of breaking this fragile creature, this piece of fine valuable porcelain.

Emma began to spend most of her free time at James', finally moving in. James could not help differentiate between Emma at work and at home. She had two personalities, at work she spoke directly, her speech clipped and to the point. She was standoffish with people. She was thoroughly business like, her other side only showing through when James and she were alone together. At home her stiff work persona disappeared. She was very soft and affectionate. She liked nothing better than to snuggle into James on the couch. It was almost as though she was purring when she spoke. How different was Emma from Nicola whose affection toward James seemed to be only for public show.

Socially Emma's sparkling vivaciousness shone through. She could be the girlish life of the party with her sparkling blue eyes and wide grin. She loved to dance and tease and flirt with whoever but with James she would stay close letting people know he was her man. She had the ability to energise a normally staid James and get him up dancing which he did remarkably well. It was something James loved Emma for.

At official and work functions her work persona would sneak back, but when together she never strayed too far from James' side if she could help it.

The one person who did not seem to take to Emma was Nicola. She buttonholed James one day saying she was surprised he was teaming up with a dolly bird and was he planning to have a trophy wife? Her comments annoyed James so much it immediately soured their relationship. For the first time Nic and James' relationship became frosty with only curt and civil exchanges at work.

Eventually things became serious shortly before they became engaged. James' and Emma visited her parents in Auckland. James discovered where Emma inherited her affectionate nature. Both parents doted on their only child and were all hugs and kisses, welcoming them into their home. Both parents took an immediate liking to James. Her father did take him aside for a good-natured grilling but there was nothing to disapprove, James was likeable, obviously in love with their daughter and his prospects and plans for their future sound.

Both Emma's parents were lawyers and lived in the wealthy suburb of Herne Bay. Emma had been brought up an 'Isthmus girl,' a true Aucklander and James wondered why she had chosen to move and study in Wellington. Her father explained that she had been wild in her teens and they thought it was best for her to study in Wellington. They were hoping she would return to Auckland but she picked up an excellent position in Christchurch and moved there. Emma confided to James that she found her parents could be stifling and although she loved them thought it best to have them at arm's length.

In Christchurch James's parents affectionately took to Emma right away. It was always a given in their eyes that he would marry a professional woman and Emma fit the bill. Unlike Nicola who always seemed to be quiet and brooding in their presence, Emma was vivacious and captured them with girlish charm. They had wondered who this girl was that James would incessantly talk about from the time he first met her. When they finally met her, she did not disappoint.

But Emma did not appear to have many close friends locally whereas in Auckland she seemed to be deluged with them including one who was a close friend right back from her preschool days, Teri. Teri would be her best woman when James and Emma were married.

The wedding took place in Queenstown. Although a long way from Auckland it did not deter her friends and relations along with James'. James' school friend, Adrian O'Doherty, was his best man. They had been sailing and surfing buddies but had drifted apart when they went to Uni. Adrian had become a lawyer.

For James the wedding was the happiest day of his life. Hearing the strains of Canon D played by his family's string quartet he turned to see a radiant Emma being escorted up the aisle by her father. Their smiles were broad and their eyes were locked to one another. The guests would have no doubt what they thought of each other. They faced one another to say their vows to the backdrop of the wedding celebrant and the spectacular view of the snow-covered 'Remarkables' mountain range through the expansive windows behind. Both had memorised their vows and recited them eye to eye. As James spoke a tear trickled down. James was not a man given to outward emotion but at this moment he had never been so happy.

Later at the reception, James was briefly apart from Emma and talking to his best man Adrian, Best woman Teri and her partner. Adrian had been explaining that he had known Emma at Uni. She was a year or so down on him at law school in Wellington. He said he did not know her very well but she was known to be quite cold and focused on her work. He was quite surprised to see how warm she was here with James. Although she was a good looker, she seemed to flick off any would-be boyfriends and there would be many that tried.

Teri scoffed at the idea, "She was into the bad boys, big time when we were at college. We started early, used to sneak out at night. I don't know how she got the grades she did. We were into booze, drugs and some pretty way-out sex. She had a bad boy boyfriend toward the end; his name was Seb. I think he was the reason her parents wanted Emma out of town. He was absolutely taken with her, but he could be violent, no other guy could touch her. She could look after herself though, as her parents had her do some self-defence course, I don't know, martial art or something at some stage. She just switched him off and went to Wellington. He followed her down there and came back with his tail between his legs. There had been a fight though and I think she was injured."

The others looked surprised, this was quite a revelation and Teri Continued," Me, I just went on. My first year at Auckland Uni was a disaster. My folks were overseas so in the second year I boarded with Emma's parents. They were really sweet and brought me round. I don't know where I would be without them."

James had heard nothing of this. Out of privacy and respect, Emma and he had not really talked about their former paramours. He heard Teri's tale with interest but it did not taint the day; however, he would remember it when events turned in the future.

He still could not equate the woman and family he knew with her being such a wild child at college but it did manifest in their sex life. She always wanted to please him without too much care for herself. She was adept at oral sex and obviously practiced. She knew how to prepare herself for anal sex and was happy with vaginal. She said she began doing it to avoid getting pregnant because she was not originally on the pill. Although James preferred a more loving sex, he came to realise she liked it rough and had just assumed that was the way sex was done. James was a little unsettled by this and had introduced to her a more loving and caring component.

To vary their love making he gave her what she expected from time to time but he also went down on her, searched out her sensitive spots and above all took it slowly. Her love for him heightened with the new sexual experience and for a time their sex life was intense, varied and liberal. Her need for rough sex was also new for him as it was not in character but he found at times it gave him relief and a heightened desire he had not experienced before.

Married life started well. Emma relished new friends through James and loved to entertain and be the consummate hostess. They would have dinner, cards and even quiz evenings. Emma was an accomplished quizzer and occasionally they would spend evenings out doing that as well as home. She flowered in this new social environment.

The only tension being Emma's adjustment to James' large family. She was used to being an only child. This started before they were actually married. As Emma had few friends in Christchurch the family welcomed her and she accepted them as friends even finding a new found interest in music. As James' work commitments stepped up Emma found herself spending more time with them.

James and Emma negotiated a solid and simple life plan for themselves. James had a work goal to meet so that he was in a position to have an income and time to give all to family. They would then start a family and move out of the rented accommodation into their dream family home. The marriage had given him a new perspective on his life. He now had to tangle work with working toward supporting a wife and family. What he achieved would be as much for her as for him. Emma dreamed of their new home; she imagined a large entertainment area inside and one out. She would be the Grande hostess, the queen of the castle.

One night as they were both in their kitchen preparing their evening meal James talked about their immediate future. "Em, over the next year to eighteen months I will be caught up in an intense period setting up for this new direction the company is taking. Because this direction is largely my initiative, the success or failure of the mission is on me and will take a huge amount of time. This might be difficult for you as I will be working long hours. I want you to know how much I love you and as we are only just married it will be painful for me not to be able to spend as much time with you as I wish. I know you love me and I am going to have to call on that love and your commitment to see us through. This will be a test for our love and I am going to need your support through it all. My family loves you so you will have their love and support as well through this time. No matter what happens we have to play the long game in this."

At dinner he explained to Emma what she did not already know about the plan for the new business platform and what would be the new organisation. Once completed the onus will come off James and their lives will be comfortable and stable to establish their dreams.

"James," Emma asserted, "You know categorically, how much I love you, and you me. I fully understand what's coming up and I am ready to support you."

As she said this, she fixed her earnest blue eyes on James'. James added, "there is going to be a time when I am not able to divulge what I am doing or who I am doing it with. I am going to have to rely on your total discretion which will be par for the course as a lawyer but above all I will need your total trust."

It was at that point James noted a frown across those earnest blue eyes and for a fleeting moment she averted her gaze. This subtle and seemingly innocuous gesture rattled James leading him to confirm her trust. "I do have your trust, don't I?"

Emma nodded, albeit with a touch of reluctance, not looking directly at James.

James' company was now committing themselves to the initiative James spawned. They were going into partnership with overseas firms and creating an alliance, essentially a separate entity to develop the new organisation, Cuthbert Aerospace, to protect the existing company from the risk of failure of the new initiative. New premises purchased and adapted; tailor made for developing prototypes of the physical components of the operation. James headed this as Principal Engineer Research and Development, an understated title but he was effectively a General Manager and the old man's 2IC. All of this was largely secret to the rest of the organisation. Even Nicola as the now Chief Financial Officer was not fully aware as James had his own financial team. As a result, rumours constantly swirled in the company about what was happening.

Emma had her office on the same floor as James in the corporate headquarters and mixed freely with the staff. James' leadership style was fully evident to her, in that he regarded his staff as an extension of his family. He was very open with those who reported to them and was fully supportive of them. The others in the organisation were well aware of this and knew that James would always go into bat for any of the staff if anyone tried to intimidate or cross swords with them. For example, one woman's brother was murdered. She was very close to her brother and was distraught. James cancelled his afternoon appointments and sat with her in private and let her talk her heart out and then gave her all the support the firm could together through the trauma. It was that sort of incident that got James the love and support he had from his staff.

Emma was also fully aware of what the other women said about him from the time she joined. She had known from the start that she had a lot of competition for his heart. Even though they were now married, many would still try to flirt with him especially at social functions where they could be rude to her, cutting in on their conversation when Emma and James were together or just making catty remarks in the powder room. It had not been confined to single women only. He had once been openly propositioned by a woman, she knew to be married, in her company at a client function.

And then there was Nicola. What if she found she was actually bi and secretly rekindled her romance with James? She had questioned James about her and whether he still felt in love with her. He questioned whether he had ever actually been in love with her in the same way he was in love with Emma. When she came out as a lesbian, he had regarded it as some form of affliction and set out to help her where he could. She was someone he felt comfortable with and a friend. After all, she had been part of his blended family for two years. James had stayed her friend after their breakup for so long, Emma could not shake her suspicions, she was both jealous and fascinated by her. Would she ever attempt to take him back?

This was what undermined her trust in James; would he succumb to a predatory rival?

James had full confidence in Emma privately and in her work. He was in love with her but apart from that she had been brought in with her skills to assist with the partnerships and amalgamations and so was effectively in the inner circle to set up the platform.

She was formidable in her role as negotiations went on and any one at the table would, at their peril, underestimate her if they thought they could get the better of her. Her persona in this environment was the opposite of the kitten James experienced at home; the housewife, the bedroom tiger, the giggling newlywed with those bright blue soulful eyes at home that were lit with fire in the boardroom.

During the amalgamation process, one particular company was central to establishing the new entity and there were legal challenges mounted from competitors and surprisingly some of the shareholders. The competitors cried anti-competitive behaviour and appealed to the commerce commission, the national government body overseeing commercial behaviour. The older shareholders thought the new direction was out of the scope of Cuthberts as a company and the move was not in their best interests. Central to Cuthberts defence was Emma and her team to resist the legal challenge.

At a hearing James with his expert knowledge was brought in to describe the technicality of what they were to achieve. He was fully briefed by Emma and her team before entering the hearing. James witnessed firsthand her ability to prepare and to stand before a hostile group and hold her ground. The opposition went from condescension to begrudging respect as she successfully eviscerated their arguments. On the other side Emma got to understand her husband's respect from those around him and the depth of his technical expertise. Their success in heading off the challenge earned them the reputation of a power couple. It would be the last time they would work so closely together before James became immersed in the setting up of the physical organisation and the premises housing the development team. Although James maintained an office in corporate headquarters, he was almost full time at the new premises. In this period Emma became separated from the central workings of the group and was consigned to periphery requirements.

James team was set up. As well as an administrator James had two PAs which allowed him to spend his days immersed with his team. The leadership team was divided into three divisions each headed by a divisional manager. Heading the conceptual development team was Ayala Abelman, the working development division Dinesh Chaudhary, and the Business and Financial modelling division, Cindy Chiu. The leadership team came together as the innovational core.

James gathered the diverse team together for an inceptual meeting where he presented his vision for the project. It was not one developed by a leadership stakeholder series of workshops or some corporate think tank. It was developed by him alone. They would soon learn of his creative energy and his incessant enthusiasm. He would lead from the front, on the shop floor or in the drawing office using his headset to communicate and keep in contact with his business. His PAs took care where he could not be present. He would roam, making suggestions to team members or receiving suggestions and above all listening. He inspired in his team to spread their wings; he wanted the team to be greater than their parts and they responded.

He would be there day and night 100 plus hours a week, first to arrive and last to leave weekdays and weekends. He and his team were on a roll. It appeared that nothing could go wrong?

******

Once married, Emma normally had little to do with Nicola until one evening while in bed with James she mentioned that at coffee she had a discussion with Nicola and thought it would be nice to invite her and her partner to dinner. Emma said she felt guilty that she had not invited Nic to the wedding. James replied it would be a bit awkward inviting an ex-girlfriend and anyway the only person invited from work was the old man himself. James was surprised that Emma and Nicola seemed to be getting on, considering Nicola's less than positive remarks about Emma. It was those remarks more than anything else that prevented James from considering an invite for Nicola.

But James agreed that having them for dinner would be nice. In his thoughts he was feeling guilty about the falling out and as they were colleagues, they should put some effort into reconciliation. It would be his first mistake.

To say that the dinner was awkward was an understatement considering James' and Nicola's history. Emma seemed very excited about the evening and chose to meet Nicola and her partner Elise at the door. She greeted Nicola with all smiles and immediately hugged her deeply. She turned to Elise who was having nothing of it and stepped back. That set the tone for the evening. Elise was sullen and hardly spoke to the extent that James imagined that she must be mildly autistic.

As all were seated James prepared spritzes as aperitifs, Campari for Nicola, Aperol for the rest. They sat and chatted for a while then James rose to continue preparing the meal. James and Emma normally worked together but Emma decided that Nicola would help her and James would entertain Elise. Emma and Nicola rose and clucking away disappeared around the kitchen island to continue with the meal.

James sat awkwardly staring at the sullen, silent Elise. Elise was staring at the giggling Nicola and Emma. Emma was trying to give preparation instructions.

"Golly Elise, Emma seems to have got to know Nicola very well. I didn't know they had become such friends." James attempted as a conversation starter.

Elise just grunted.

"How long have they been buddies?"

"A month, maybe two, I don't know what they do at work. Nicola talks about her a lot." Elise opened up a little, still glancing backwards and forwards from Nicola and Emma.

"I suppose it is quite good that both are friends. I used to..."

Elise cut James off, "I know before Nic came out."

Elise's unfriendly tone closed James down. He sat in silence a while then stood to inveigle himself on the two cooking and suggested that Nicola should keep Elise company. The entire meal was of that ilk.

It ended with digestifs. James knowing Nicolas' likings had procured some absinth which Nicola and he sipped. The others had an acorn liquor that Nicola had brought. As he was preparing the drinks Elise appeared beside him having returned from the toilet. In a low voice she spoke close to his ear. "You should know, Nic is very jealous of you."

The comment slightly flustered James who was trying to concentrate on the drinks. "Oh, we have known each other for a long time; came up through the firm tog..."

Elise cut him off again, "She is very, very jealous of you." The emphasis on the second 'very' and Elise's tone unsettled James and after Nicola and Elise had left James brought it up with Emma. The comment from Elise had been made out of earshot of Nicola and Emma.

"Elise told me that Nicola was very, very jealous of me. I didn't like her tone"

"Really?" Emma replied looking perplexed.

"What do you make of what Elise said?" he asked Emma.

"I have no idea; she has never said anything to me."

"How long have you been so matey with Nicola?" James continued.

"Oh, just a few weeks. She and I have coffee together occasionally. It started after a rather intense meeting with an overseas client. We, sort of, were commiserating with one another."

"Well, it was all pretty awkward tonight. Elise is certainly not a happy chappy. Have you met Elise before?"

"No never. Maybe Elise is just a drama queen," Emma offered an explanation.

"Do you mind if we do not have them for dinner again? For a start I do have a history with Nicola and I would not want to get between Nicola and Elise. They have been together... what? 4 or 5 years? They are effectively husband and wife."

"Oh, they have never married. No union or anything." Emma's apparent resistance started to annoy James.

"It is a long-term relationship, de facto, if you will. You should respect that when you are dealing with Nicola."

James was terse. Emma knew when James got like that it was best not to argue.

It was shortly after the dinner party that James sat down with Emma on their sofa to warn her about the coming year.

"Emma, you know I have been working intensively on a project. I am sorry I cannot explain it but it is highly confidential but its success will change the fortunes of the company and all our lives. I have said this before and you should be well aware of it but I am now commencing an intense workload. The coming year will test our love and our marriage because I will be working on a complex proposal and since I initiated the project it is all on me. I will be working much longer hours, literally probably up to eighty to a hundred hours, maybe more a week. We will still have some social time but we will have to schedule it. Once the proposal is submitted to all the investors and partners and it gets the ticked off, we will be free to do what we have dreamed of."

"What if it is not ticked off like you say?" Emma's brow was knitted in worry and apprehension.

"I am 99% certain it will be a success."

"What about the 1%"

"OK, OK, I am certain. The 1 % is if I get run over by a bus, "James was getting agitated. Afterward I will get a promotion, I will be able to delegate the load so that we will be able to start our family and live the lifestyle we have dreamt of. We can commission an architect to design the house of our dreams. But this next year I will need your resolve, and patience. I need you to protect my back. I will not be spending much or any time at head office and can do nothing about the politics there. Our lives depend on the success of this project. Can you do this for us?"

Emma grabbed James and kissed him on the lips, clutching then hugging. "I love you so much James, of course I am there for you." She thought and then continued. "Will Nic be on your team for this?"

"Nic is CFO of the company but we are a separate entity with our own financial structure. We are not even a subsidiary. I have my own financial team and reports. If we are successful, I expect there will be a restructure but that will be in the future."

"Oh, won't she be miffed?"

"I don't see why. It really has nothing to do with her directly but on its success, she will benefit like everyone else. Why are you concerned?"

Emma stuttered, reddening," I nothing. Just enquiring as a friend."

"Just be careful, I don't want any pillow talk. She will be wondering what's going on but she unfortunately has to be in the dark about this project as anyone else. I understand there will be rumours. You come to me if you hear negative talk. Take what you hear with a grain of salt. There will be the possibility of industrial espionage and that's what this is all about, so be vigilant if you hear anything suspicious from anyone and I mean anyone, even Nicola. I know I can't say much but I can put you straight if anything worries you."

James left the conversation there. There was not anything else he could say about Nicola but he wondered about her concern for her. Perhaps it was just about the possibility of restructuring. Everyone worries when that word is mentioned.

About this time Emma's secondment to the firm came up for renewal. Since James was working out of the office it did not matter to him if she stayed on. For her career's sake it would have been to her advantage to go back to 100% with her law firm, Maxwell Dow, but she surprised everyone by electing to stay on. She cited being close to James despite there being no need. James was not aware the renewal was coming up nor did Emma tell James of her decision.

Life went on as James predicted. They scheduled their date nights, family obligations and social events, and their lovemaking. With James spending long hours Emma was spending most of her time with James' family as she still had few friends in Christchurch. A couple of James's sisters belong to a Tennis club and Emma joined that. She went out with them from time to time on tramping trips, day walks and mountain biking. James could only accompany them occasionally.

About six months into the year James and Emma were on their sofa. Both were sitting down watching TV together which was now a rare occurrence. Emma was in a powder blue fluffy dressing gown curled up like a big pussy cat with her head on James's lap. James was stroking her silky blonde hair. Emma in her dreamy voice was talking about Nicola. She had a lot recently. It was Nic this and Nic that. It got to a point that James queried it. Emma replied that she thought James would be interested since they had a long history together. James replied that since she was an old girlfriend he thought she would be jealous of her. It silenced the indignant Emma of any talk about Nicola and it was possibly another mistake on James' part. But with one parting shot she did bring her up again later when she asked when Nicola would become CEO.

"What?" replied James, "Who said Nicola would be made CEO?"

"Nicola just said it was usual for the CFO to progress to CEO."

"That's not at all." James was abrupt.

"Well, who is going to take the position when the old man retires?"

"Well, it won't be Nicola.

"Would it be you then?"

Emma looked up into James' eyes. He was silent.

"It is you, isn't it."

"There was a brief silence before James replied.

"Listen, do not repeat or infer to anyone what is said here. There is to be no pillow talk. I trust you implicitly and you, being a lawyer, will understand."

Emma muttered, "It is you."

"No decision has been made or will be made for some time." James was direct but not unkind in his tone.

James was to look back on this conversation as another one of his compounding mistakes.

Over the next six months their relationship began to deteriorate. Emma became uncharacteristically niggardly. She was also spending less time with his family and was guarded about what she was doing. She did finally come clean and said she had been spending time with Nicola and her friends. James was not too phased by this. He knew they were friends and Nicola had a wide group of friends.

As to any hint of lesbianism, James had experienced none of the issues with Emma he had with Nicola. Anyway, lightning cannot strike the same place twice. Or could it? Emma and James still had an active and enthusiastic sex life but the only inhibiting factor was his availability. It was usually confined to the odd weekends as during the week he could be very tired. To James it appeared she was getting impatient with his hours. She complained about the hours he was keeping and brought up his promise to start a family. She worried that she was getting older. It was starting to get a bit obsessive which worried James as he felt trapped.

Nicola and Emma were by now having their fairly regular Friday dinner meetings, when both Elise and James were working. It was at these that Nicola began talking negatively about James using any rumours or her own experience when they were dating.

Following one home dinner Emma finally blew up when James sheepishly announced that there was a delay on completion for another month or so. They had what was a heated terse discussion rather than a full-on argument. At the start neither were inclined to lose it, James with his personality and Emma with her lawyer persona. Emma became increasingly frustrated in the argument and began shouting, bringing up a bombshell accusing him of having an affair.

James calmed her down. Emma claimed he had been seen kissing a woman named Ayala Abelman and having lunch with her. James stated firmly that it was all lies and asked her where she got the information. Emma just claimed it was going around the office. James asked a few questions and completely scotched the tale.

Ayala had different coloured hair and the tale had been mixed with a business lunch with his innovational team. James angrily reminded Emma that she should not give credence to office gossip. This had proliferated with the lack of knowledge in the Office of James' project, and he said that it will all end soon as the results are revealed.

Emma was not satisfied, angrily saying, "Where there is smoke, there's fire, James, when I find out for certain you will be toast, get it!"

"By toast, are you talking about divorce?" James' tone was remarkably even given the seriousness of the statement. Emma went silent

James continued, and became emotional. "Emma," he faltered a little, "I love you and you only. Somebody has been filling your head with rubbish. I would seriously question the motives of whoever it is. James usually found talking about love difficult but on this night, he began to gush. "Listen sweetie, you have to believe how much I love you. It is extremely painful to sit here and listen to an accusation like this. I don't want to lose you but I am caught. Keep your mind on the future. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We are almost there, then you can immediately go off the pill and we can be thinking about our new house and life together."

Emma sat in silence, listening and staring at James. Seeing his emotion, she began to cry and she sank into his arms. All was well, for now.

The accusation about Ayala rang alarm bells with James. He retained a position as head of the company security as part of his portfolio. Although Emma had legal authority during the establishment of the R & D unit due to the secrecy of the project proceeding, she should not have known about Ayala.

He called the team together to reiterate the need for security and to stress how important it was and he admitted to the team the comments made to him by Emma. They were immediately shocked as they assumed that as she was his wife and had been a part of the team setting up the unit she would be regarded as part of the inner group.

James then asked them to privately come to him with any knowledge of anyone from the wider company or from outside showing excessive interest in what was going on. He reminded them if anyone had a query that they be redirected to him.

A member of Ayala's team approached him and advised him that he had run into Emma and Nicola socially and had told them about the innovative core but nothing more.

Cindy Chiu told him that she had been approached by someone from Nicolas financial group that they were to be audited. She had handled it by advising them that audits would be handled independently through an alliance partner and any such internal audit would be a breach of security as well as being seen as a conflict of interest within the company. She had put them off and there was no further insistence. She had therefore handled it and quite rightly had not seen it necessary to advise James.

James was irritated that Nicola had tried this on but he took it as being naively overzealous and opted not stir things by contacting her. It did make him wary of her motives especially after Elises remark at the dinner so long ago.

After James' disturbing conversation Emma their sex life did appear to change for the worst in small increments. Emma had always been enthusiastic about sex but now it started to seem a chore. She took to nitpicking and brought up constantly a litany of his misdemeanours. She became uncharacteristically house proud and it seemed he was constantly messing the house or eating too much food.

James tried to talk reasonably about it but he could feel the temperature rise and he backed off. He put the niggle down to frustration which he knew would end soon.

******

Unfortunately, there was another delay to the project. He announced it to Emma as she was arriving home from work one day. In his nervousness he blurted it as she came through the door. She had not even taken her coat off.

He knew it would be the last delay but Emma was not convinced and erupted with a tirade. It was their first major argument. Emma's face went puce as she screamed and howled at him. James managed to keep his composure as she cried and stamped. She started throwing things, anything she could get her hands on, forcing him to grab her wrists. Looking straight into her eyes he asked her to leave and go for a walk and come back and talk about this calmly. The fact he was not responding, like with like, and somehow managed an even voice made her madder and she stormed out.

James was making dinner. He took out a bottle of pinot noir and poured himself a drink to steady his nerves. The dinner was a simple stir fry. James and Emma liked to prepare their meals from scratch using fresh produce and seldom bought in. James set the table and the bowls but when Emma did not return sat down alone fiddling with the food with his chopsticks. He hardly felt like eating but in the end felt he had to counteract the wine he was drinking. He was terrified that this would be the end of his marriage. He was confused and frustrated that he could not reason with her. She was a lawyer for god's sake. She did not have to lose her shit like this. He was caught, she must realise this, he had no option and besides it would all be ending soon.

It crossed his mind she was having an affair but could not think who it could be. He tried to think of who at the head office or her law firm would be a likely candidate. He recalled the discussion with Teri at the wedding about her wild days at college. Maybe this guy Seb, who was her boyfriend, is back on the scene. He began to convince himself that this was the case and he made a note to contact Teri to find out what she knew. He pondered talking to Nicola to find out whether she was seeing some guy but maybe it was a friend of Nicolas.

Being the problem-solving engineer, he looked to their relationship. 'Why not try for a child now? Hell, it's going to take 9 months to come, why are we even waiting? ' he thought.

He knew that once the project was ticked off there would be a mobilisation hiatus. They should go on holiday, a bloody good one, Tahiti or Europe. He would take a month off. God, they deserved it.

Emma had not arrived by bedtime and Emma's phone was turned off. James started to worry that she had topped herself. She had never done this before. He rang his parents and worried them but there was no sign. She may have gone to Nicolas. Elise would not be happy if Emma showed up all emotional, he thought. He rang Nicola but her phone was off as well.

He smouldered on this a while and deduced that Emma was punishing him and maybe Nicola was in cahoots. He figured that Emma would return in the morning. She would have to freshen up and go to work. This conclusion did not give James any sleep and he tossed and turned the entire night.

********

Morning found Emma rushing back to her home in the morning sunlight in a state of petrified remorse, she had spent a night of nonstop torrid lesbian sex and now felt utterly ashamed of what she had done to her marriage and future. She had not even showered before having sex with Nicola and had felt dirty about that. Now she was worse. She could not believe that lesbian sex could be so animalistic.

She had crossed the line. She had done 'the act' that she would come to profoundly regret.

She texted James as she rushed along the street asking him to hang on until she got there. She could not bring herself to call him as she was trying to formulate what to say. She tried to force what she had done out of her mind and back on how she could handle the situation. She decided then that she would never ever do that again; she would tell Nicola at work. Anyway, Elise would be back that day. She felt messy and she knew that she reeked of sex and the patchouli oil that Nicola used. Feeling dirty she had left in such a fluster and rush she hadn't showered before she left and desperately wanted one when she got home.

James heard Emma crash through the back door and into their bedroom ensuite. He had received her text and had called into work to say he would be late. He called out to her if she wanted breakfast and on receiving the affirmative busied himself making Vogel toast with avocado and tomato, her favourite breakfast. He then got the home espresso machine into action for a morning latte for them both.

Emma padded into the kitchen with just a towel around herself, she went to say something but James cut her off. "Listen, it is true there is only a month or so to go. I am terribly sorry for all the delays but it is definitely coming together so why don't we get started making that baby and go off the pill right now."

James was not prepared for the reaction. Emma exploded with joy dropping her towel, rushing to embrace him. James took the naked Emma and gently lowered nakedness to the floor and took her there. Emma pushed the night out of her mind with only a wince as James thrust into her already inflamed pussy. There was no foreplay, Emma had already had a night of foreplay. This was straight sex. For James the sex was limbic, his desire was driven by the anger and frustration of the night. The need to claim her back. It was not his usual style and it would leave him feeling guilty for being rough with her but for now it was what he needed. For Emma she just wanted to be punished for her dreadful sin, uttering, 'Thats it, James, fuck me hard, fuck me, hurt me, take my cunt." James had never heard speak like that and it drove him to premature ejaculation. James collapsed onto her and recovered himself then went to go down on her. Feeling sensitive and sore from the night and the preceding sex, Emma pushed him away. "Let's have breakfast and start again."

Settling into breakfast at the bar, James excitedly told her of the plans for a holiday and they discussed options. They talked about their future, baby names and their new house design. The conversation thrilled Emma and adrenalized with excitement she dragged James to the bedroom and submitted to rounds two and three, ignoring her earlier discomfort.

Both returned to work that afternoon. Neither had urgent commitments that morning. Only Nicola noticed Emma's awkward gait as she came out of the lift. Emma refused to look at her and without greeting quickly slipped into her office. Unfortunately for Emma, despite her attempts of denial, that night of passion, the act, was done and could never be undone.

******

THE AFFAIR

What James did not know was how the affair had developed between Emma and Nicola, the lead up in the months preceding the act on that fateful night.

James, having been absorbed in his work, had no inkling to what had been happening. Emma's attraction to Nicola and the subsequent erosion of her feelings for James had begun well before the night that Nic and Elise had come to dinner.

When Emma and James first became an item, it was easy for her to fall in love. She had been infatuated with him before they actually met. He was talked about, he had status in the firm and people knew that he would rise to the top, he came from a strong stable family and to top it off he had the looks and confidence. She acted on that infatuation by taking the secondment to be close to him and it worked. He was vulnerable having worked off the lingering feelings he had for Nicola.

At first Emma had little to do with Nicola. In fact, Nicola seemed a little hostile toward her. She was aware of her background and how James had supported her even after she came out and that made Emma jealous of her.

At her work she had to interact with Nicola and always kept it at a professional and business level.

All the same, the fact that she had been James' girlfriend fascinated her. She wondered what James saw in her. It was about the time that James was less available at work for their regular lunches and coffees that Emma acted on her curiosity. Emma and James had by now been married for some time and Emma felt secure in the relationship. James had now moved into an office in the firm's R&D complex so was spending little time in the office, Emma was feeling a little lonely as she had been dependent on James for the office social interaction.

Emma initiated morning coffee with Nicola after a meeting and it became a regular thing. Emma felt drawn to her. Watching her and catching her eye as they sipped their coffee. The conversation was always bright and a welcome relief to the stresses of office. Emma began to confide in her, Nicola not so much. Emma would ask questions about her life but Nicola seemed unwilling in the public surrounds of the cafe.

Emma would take little opportunities to see Nicola. She learnt what time Nicola arrived at work and would just happen to be in the lift or foyer when she arrived. Unbeknown to James they decided to carpool, Emma picking up Nicola most mornings.

Emma started to spend a lot of time thinking about Nicola. She would lay awake at night fantasizing about her. She went on-line and found very little. She discreetly enquired what others knew about her. She had one long conversation with James about her but knew better than to labour that line of enquiry as it seemed to annoy him.

It was about the time they began to have a weekly lunch together that Emma acted on her infatuation. It was St Valentine's Day and Emma impulsively bought an expensive bunch of flowers with a note expressing her love for her. Nicola did not react as Emma thought. She called Emma into her office.

"Never do anything like that again. People in this office are already talking about us. If this gets out, it will sink both our careers and I have a partner in Elise, I do not want to hurt her."

Emma stood forlorn, head hanging, she had no idea what to say as Nicola continued.

"I will keep the flowers, the others will think they are from Elise. I've shredded your note. Now just fuck off out of my life."

Emma fled to her room in tears. Everything went quiet after that and they did not see each other except for formal work meetings where eye contact was avoided.

On a glorious late summer Saturday three weeks later, Emma received an unexpected call from Nicola.

"Hi Emma, I am sorry about what I said at work. How are you feeling?"

"I have to admit I am devastated by what you said." Emma was not overdramatizing, she had cried the night after and it had been stressful hiding her emotions from James who had remarked she seemed a little down.

"I fully apologise for that but what I said about our situation is true. I think we should keep our relationship out of the office." Nicola paused and then came her fateful suggestion. "Hey what are you doing today, I hear James is out of town?"

"Nothing, I am at a loose end really."

"Your rental has a pool doesn't it. Is it able to be used?"

"Sure, James and I regularly do laps in it. It's not huge but on a day like today it's great to have."

"What say I come around? Elise is visiting her mother. This will probably be that last chance for a bit of tanning this summer."

"Oh yeah, do that. I will change into my bikini. When will you arrive, come to lunch if you haven't already had any."

"Nah. I'm good, sounds awesome, I'll be there in an hour."

By time Nicola arrived Emma was splayed out on a pool lounger. Provocatively she was only wearing brief bikini bottoms. She felt incredibly excited in her anticipation of Nicola's arrival.

Nicola called out from the door and Emma called back welcoming her in. When Nicola came around the corner she was taken aback when she saw Emma in all her glory. "Woah, you are serious about your tan, I see." With that she dropped her light summer dress revealing a blue bikini, and uttering "When in Rome..." she unclasped her top at the back and tossed it aside. Emma stood at the end of Emma's lounger. Neither spoke as Emma felt Nicola's eyes scanning her body. In an involuntary motion she moved her hands to half-heartedly shield her boobs. A sensation of desire welled up deep inside her body and she became conscious of the wetness between her legs. The excitement of Nicolas' arrival had swept through her like a wave. Nicola's eyes were briefly staring at the space between her spread legs. She realised her wetness might probably be seen and reddening she hastily closed her legs.

Breaking the silence, Emma whispered an embarrassed, "What are.."

Nicola cut her off, "No nothing, I just had a gaydar alert, that's all."

"What's that?"

"Nothing, I'll tell you later."

With that Nicola collapsed onto the lounger beside her. She deliberately opened her legs as she lay back. As she was partially facing her, Emma couldn't help but stare at her crotch. Black pubic hairs and a piece of a large labia were escaping from the bikini bottom. Nicola did not seem to care. Catching Emma staring, she smiled quietly, querying, "you like?"

Emma nodded her head. She saw the display for what it was and this time was not embarrassed. "You don't trim your bush?"

Nicola replied, "never have," and pulled over her beach bag and took out some lotion, squeezed some out and began smearing it around her body.

"How is old James anyway? Have you told him how you feel about me?"

"Oh no. I am not sure how he would feel about that. Mind you he was with you for a long time. It might be cool for him."

"What, are you suggesting I move in and we have a menage de trois." Emma took it as the joke it was and both started giggling uncontrollably about it.

Composing herself Nicola spluttered, "Elise would not be pleased." Then she leaned over, "Want me to rub some lotion on?"

Emma turned over exposing her back and Nicola rubbed it all over. Feeling Nicolas hand sent waves of shocks through her body Emma shuddered and managed to compose herself. But the elevation of her desire for Nicola was unmistakable. When finished Nicola turned back and Nicola gestured toward her tits, "More?"

"Oh no, I'll do them." Emma felt the danger of losing control. So, taking the lotion began to rub the white cream gently across her tits and stomach.

Nicola stared at her fingers as they moved the cream and flesh around." Gosh your nipples are nearly as big as mine." Embarrassed at the remark Emma glanced back and forth from hers to her own which were standing proud. Emma desired Nicola so badly but did not know how to proceed. Nicola did not make a move and their conversation settled into the more mundane.

After a while Emma suggested it was time for drinks and went and prepared a couple of spritzes, she arrived back spritzes on a tray with some cheese and olives. Taking the opportunity as she settled down, she took a deep draw on her straw and asked the question that had been eating her up for the past few weeks. "Nicola, do you think I am bi?"

Nicola replied in an almost derisory tone. "What do you think?"

"I expressed my feelings in the bouquet I sent you." Nervously Emma was unwilling to use the word love again.

"So, what is it, do you want me to shag you to satisfy your curiosity?" Nicola was harsh.

"You are the only gay I know..."

Nicola cut in, "You realise you would be asking me to cheat on Elise."

"Oh golly, I did not look at it that way."

"Shit Emma, would you cheat on James with a guy."

"No, it's not the same."

"Yes, it is. Let alone me and Elise have you considered that you are planning to cheat on James and what the consequences of that might be?"

"Oh god, I just have all these emotions swirling around and I don't know what to make of them."

Nicola had an idea." What say I get you to a gay club and see what you make of that."

"Just you and I?"

"Ah no, Elise would have to come. Maybe we could make it a bit of a challenge at work. A girl's night. I know a couple who might be up for it."

******

Nicola put their night out into effect. They would go to dinner then they would go to a club.

She had the two single women from work lined up and of course Elise.

Emma was reticent in telling James about the girls' night because it was something she did not normally do. She got up courage and asked and he was totally relaxed about it as he thought it would widen her social network in the firm, something he thought she was remiss about. But Emma did not mention the club.

The night came. Emma was totally nervous from the outset. She had no idea what gay women wore at clubs. James noticed her fussing and helped her out with suggestions but he was only thinking of dinner. In James' mind he was only thinking of what she would wear with him on a night out at an expensive restaurant. Emma left relieved in a new red dress and matching shoes that they had bought together for such occasions.

From then on, the night turned into disaster. They began dinner in an upmarket Thai Restaurant. It was certain from the beginning that Elise did not like Emma and made her life uncomfortable from the beginning. She began by criticising Emma's dress declaring it totally inappropriate for the night. They squabbled about the shared dishes they were ordering. They began a game of competition between them over it which had to be settled by Nicola.

When they arrived at the club, and while waiting to go in, Emma was already attracting attention. A friend of Nicola's sidled up, "Well hello Nic. Oh who's your gorgeous friend." The woman put her face close to Emma's while one hand rested on her butt and she pinched it.

"Oh, fuck off Trace, she's out of your league." Nicola came to Emma's defence.

"I can see that Nic, you better watch it Elise you've got competition there."

That opening interaction seemed to unsettle everyone. Finally, Emma found the club too crowded, too noisy with music blaring and the unbearable flashing lights. There were gay women of every persuasion all jostling and shouting in the noise. They could not get a table so they settled by the bar. Emma looked around her, agog with the chaos and confusion. Several of Nicolas' friends descended on them and bought them drinks. Emma found a stool and settled on it.

The other two women from work were jostled by a group who obviously fancied them and retreated to dance together in the crowd as though they were a couple. Emma was obviously thought to be up-market the way she was dressed and found herself the attention of a woman grossly tattooed who resented her existence.

Grabbing Emma, she forced a kiss shoving a whiskey laden tongue into her mouth while forcing a hand into her butt crack. Emma panicked and struggled free, barged through the crowd and through the door into the fresh air. She had enough. She started looking for a taxi when her phone started ringing. It was Nicola. Emma explained she could not handle it. I am only really interested in you Nicola. I felt horrible, like a piece of meat there."

Nicola just replied, "You should have given it a chance."

"No, I am not a club person and never have been. I am sorry, enjoy your night." And Emma hung up.

******

Arriving back at her home, James was there and was concerned when she arrived looking flustered. "Hey you're home early, did you have an argument or something?"

"Something like that, hey can we go to bed? I'm feeling horny."

James sensed that this could be a good night and was not going to miss some energetic sex.

In bed, Emma took to James with a passion he had been missing of late. There was one little memorable incident. Emma was riding while laid on his back and while thrusting him she stroked herself to orgasm. Coming off she bent over so that her boobs were silhouetted in the moonlight from the adjacent windows.

Her Nipples looked huge and James commented on them.

Impulsively Emma blurted, "Wow, you think my nipples are big, what about Nicolas."

James laughed, "How do you know how large Nicolas' nipples are? Have you been cheating on me with her?"

The joke went down like the proverbial lead balloon. It obviously hit a nerve. "Never, ever insinuate that I would ever cheat on you Mr Connelly," she shouted as she dismounted. The outburst quickly dissipated however and she curled and snuggled into him with her characteristic affection, purring, "you know I would never do such a thing don't you?"

James felt a wave of pleasure and love with this remark removing any thought he may have had at the overreaction.

******

Life went on. Emma and Nicola were no longer meeting at work for coffee; instead, they would generally go to lunch or even a drink or two after work as James was now working very late most nights.

Emma now kept her emotions in check after the traumatic night at the club although her underlying feelings for Nicola remained. It was then they began talking about futures. Nicola said that Elise may be leaving soon. She thought they were drifting apart.

It had never crossed Emma's mind that there could be a future for her and Nicola, but now Nicola hinted there could be.

At the midwinter festival called Matariki, Ken Baxter, the CEO decreed that everyone had been working so hard they deserved a break and booked out a resort at the spa town of Hanmer Springs. It was just after James had announced a delay to the submission of the proposal to Emma and their relationship was tense. A miffed Emma had furthermore let slip to Nicola that she would not become CEO. Nicola had gone to the CEO Ken about it and he all but confirmed it. Nicola became angry and maudlin, discussing wild alternative ideas with Emma. She brought up a hypothetical idea of her leaving James and joining her somewhere. Emma suggested they could become a threesome, a menage de trois. Nicola replied that that would never happen.

"Why not?" Queried Emma.

"Two reasons. Him and me. Too much water under that bridge."

For most the Matariki was a ball. James thought that Emma had finally loosened up and they had a good time. The only incident came when they were all at the thermal pools. Hanmer springs thermal pools fed by some cauldron deep below.

The firm had booked a large lounge there where everyone based themselves while they were bathing in the pools. Nicola joined Emma and James. Elise hadn't accompanied Nicola; she tended to avoid firm social events. The three of them had been drinking quite heavily before they arrived at the lounge. Nicola and Emma were in good spirits and to change into their swimsuits disappeared into the female rooms while James went to the male change. James was out talking to the old man long before Emma and Nicola emerged. Their arrival was preceded by their giggling before they rounded the corner draped over one another. Seeing James and the old man standing there, Nicola grunted "oops!" pulling herself apart from Emma.

James blurted an off-colour joke, "Oh my god, Nicolas has seduced my wife." Unlike last time Emma did not react but Nicola did. "Wassa matter mister, Jealous?" and burst out laughing. James and Emma joined in. Then James replied, "Why, on-earth, would I be jealous of Nic."

As the laughing died James glanced at the old man. Who was not laughing.

They proceeded to the pools spending a heavenly evening in the warmth with a light snowfall sprinkled across them obscuring the stars above.

********

A MARRIAGE IN PERIL

Back to the present.

When James made the announcement that they would start trying for a baby it was coming into spring. It began a period where James felt the happiest, he had ever been, his workload was beginning to tail off. The clouds that had hovered over his relationship with Emma seemed to be dissipating.

It was obvious that Emma along with James was excited about having the baby. She had immediately gone off the pill and examined her cycle for when her most fertile period would take place. She was back to her smiling self and back curled up on the sofa with James when he was home.

On the weekends she had taken to wearing a loose tee shirt and baggy trousers. A new initiative was that she was going braless. Emma's boobs did not hang but were full and the nipples projected. As she walked around the house, they appeared perky and pointy through the tee shirt and jiggled about, as though they seemed happy to see you. The whole effect was to complement Emma's sexy smile. If her ploy was to seduce James it did so without fail.

She began teasing him. It would be something like, Hey James, I've got a big wide on. Is there any way to fix it? And that would be a signal for an immediate fuck.

Or it might be "Gosh my undies are soaking, James, I need some plumbing done."

In this period Emma's self-lubrication was prolific; 'The great flood' James called it. One time they were curled up on the sofa Emma in her fluffy dressing gown and curled in her classic pose snuggling against James with her head on his boxers. Feeling his hard on she turned over and took it into her mouth, boxers and all. James tipped her over and took her on the sofa.

The leakage could be a problem. They wet the carpet, sofa, kitchen bench and watered the lawn out the back. James could not believe her enthusiasm with the anticipation of the baby. Emma was also vocalising. In the past she had always been quiet and restrained, although not a screamer she was now making her pleasure and orgasms known. James worried about the neighbours but what the hell when life was good.

Their sex life took an immediate upswing. It seemed they were fucking every day. James worried that he might have been reducing his sperm count with the frequency of activity. What's more with Emma's sheer enthusiasm she was introducing more to their repertoire. James began to learn stuff. She wanted more foreplay. At night it might be 2 hours where they restrained each other from orgasm before going over that top.

He would gently finger her, probing her sensitive spot then feeling her shudder and sharply exhale. She would murmur "I'm coming," and he would cease, leaving her suspended in her plateau. Then after a while he would start again and find other sensitive spots to stimulate and excite.

When he was fingering her Emma became very particular in his technique. He learnt to work her clit, vibrating it, slapping it, how many ways can you massage a clit? Emma being hairless had it all on display and there was no hindrance for touch.

They would oil and massage each other, James descending on Emma's precious zone especially the chasm between her legs. She demanded more attention of her tits than she had ever done before and loved it when he was rougher with her, sucking her nipples hard and leaving his love marks around her breasts.

Emma bought a vibrating butt plug and loved to buzz her ass as he fucked her, a game they both enjoyed. Emma suggested pegging James but they both agreed that anything anal for him was out of bounds.

One evening as they lay on the couch drinking wine and watching TV. Emma suddenly broke with a surprise request. "James, will you play Nooky with me?"

"Nookie? Like I used to do with Nicola?"

"Yes, she told me about it."

"What in the name of hell? Have you two been talking about our private shit."

"Girls always do, you should know that."

"Fuck me, is nothing sacred?"

"Nope, how about the nookie?"

"Did she teach you?"

"Yup."

"You won't get babies that way."

"I know, but this is not the ideal week in my cycle and it sounds like fun. We don't have to do it all the time."

"Ok, but do you know how to prepare yourself?"

"No problem. We've done anal before."

"Well go ahead I guess."

With that Emma shot upstairs to shower and prepare. When she arrived back down, James was in the kitchen cleaning some dishes.

"I'm ready!" she called from behind him.

James turned around. "Holy fuck!" The sight before him nearly creamed his pants. There was Emma on all fours, her cute Lladro bottom wagging and her cute round anus fair winking at him. As she was fastidious in her care of her body her hole was dilated and pristine, one could be forgiven that she had never taken a shit in her life. The sight was so highly erotic to James, the curve of her hips perfectly converging with the round globes of her butt, and in the centre, the target a full stop at the top of her tight chubby pale slit. He could not wait. He pulled his zip, dropped to his knees and sank his stiff until her cheeks pressed into his groin, performed a quickie, discharging deep into body prematurely. It was all he was capable of; the scene was that erotic. Coming down and reflecting, the fact she learned this off Nicola bothered him. He did not feel comfortable about it.

Emma's birthday fell on a Saturday. Although his workload was still could be intense, he made the commitment that he would spend all day with her. At first, she was reticent as she said she had something else on but as she was vague about what that was and James convinced her that they had to take the opportunity for the good of their marriage.

They awoke on the Sunny morning taking full advantage of James's morning glory followed by a champagne breakfast in bed with mimosa cocktails and bagels with Salmon and avocado. James gave Emma a diamond ring and charm bracelet to mark the intended baby. For lunch they drove up to Lords bush for a picnic under the flowering kowhai trees. There was no one else there in that remote location. They watched the tui birds frolicking and fighting in the trees and the sound of the bees as they ate their picnic lunch and made love.

That evening they ate at an expensive restaurant where the hosts brought out a birthday cake and the waiters sang happy birthday to her. Then it was back to the privacy of their bedroom where in the atmosphere of flickering candle light, fresh flowers and soft music they settled into a night of extended lovemaking. Emma proclaimed it the best birthday of her life.

James' family noticed a positive change in Emma, his mother remarking that the baby was going to be good for them.

*******

The following Saturday morning, Emma had been with Nic the night before as usual. She had a hard time getting out of bed, James having already gone to the kitchen and was busily preparing breakfast which he brought to her.

"I think I will just have the tea," she muttered, "I am feeling a bit seedy, I didn't think I had drunk that much. I perhaps should not be drinking while we are trying for a baby." Then she remarked," Nic was in good form though."

James lay down next to her and cuddled silently up to Emma.

Neither thought about this too much nor were they prepared for what was to come next. This was the calm before the storm

******

It was later that week James had just returned to basing himself at the headquarters building as the project was nearing conclusion. He was sitting in the office when a text came through.

"Your wife Emma is cheating on you."

That was all it said. It hit James like a bolt of lightning. He did not know the number it came from.

It forced him to think about what was going on. What opportunity did she have? He had been so busy she must have had endless opportunities. When he recalled the ups and downs of their relationship and sex life over the past year it all seemed to fall in place. The text could have been a hoax; it could have been a lie to drive a wedge with Emma or an attempt to sabotage his career. But thinking back he became convinced it was true.

With this realisation it became his lowest point in the days ahead and probably the deepest of his life. The text was just a short statement but it left James feeling he was alone, abandoned and unsupported. It was a feeling of deflation, as though he was some inflated doll, and the text had pulled the bung. He was being inexorably punished and didn't know what for. If true, this would be the end of their marriage. A feeling of anger began welling inside him but he had to think logically before he did something irrational. He shook his head.

The thing was, To James the text seemed to imply that she was cheating with a guy. And he had no idea who that could be. He stood up and looked out the window, a nondescript view into the industrial park. Emma would be in her office, so he composed himself and went to her room, her doorway was open so he slipped in, closed it and sat down. Emma looked surprised. She could see he was red faced and was holding something down. "Hey, what's wrong, darling. Is it something I can help with?"

"Listen, this is serious, I have just received a text claiming you are cheating on me with some guy."

Emma gaped in surprise but thinking fast for a few seconds replied, "That's totally fake, no way would I be cheating with you with some guy. Who would it be."

To James the brief delay in reply was significant but he let it ride. "Ok, but who would send a text like that?"

"That's horrible, horrible and spiteful. Somebody is trying to destroy us. "

James thought, and then it dawned on him, "With my presentation coming up I think someone is trying to unsettle me. I had better tell the old man. "

"No, don't do that. I take it you did not recognise the number. Give it to me and I will send back a statement. Hopefully that will scare him or her off. If it persists, we can tell the old man then. We don't want to rattle him at this critical time."

James was relieved. Emma knew her stuff. He had too much other stuff to think about at this critical time.

Following that day a dampener descended on their relationship. Emma sent the promised reply to the unknown number but there was no response. There was a surge in James' work as the final business case and proposal documentation was getting checked, and collated to be signed off and sent out. The following week James would take part in the presentation which would be given in person and on-line. The week after, all going well the firm would be hopeful for a green light to proceed.

Through it all they did find time to continue their quest for a baby but there seemed little other time for one another. The remainder of James' work was consuming his time and without explanation Emma began making herself scarce.

Once the presentation was over, they would be back on track. Emma was oblivious to the implications of this phase of the project ending as she had distractions of her own. When the work began tailing off, and prompted by that strange text James began having dark thoughts about whether the accusation was real. He was at pains not to show his concerns to Emma as he set out to make some enquiries.

As there was no further attempt to inflame the situation James wondered if it was a more random attack and not related to the presentation. He wondered if some past boyfriend had reemerged. He thought of Seb, the bad boy before they had married. He gave Teri a ring, in confidence, explaining the situation but Teri had no idea. She knew that Seb had been to jail twice, drugs and violence charges. But she did not know his current whereabouts.

She warned James that if Emma contacts her, her first loyalty will always be with her. She liked James but would not betray her oldest friend. James understood and told her so. Teri finished by saying that despite what Adrian said at their wedding she did talk about a boyfriend at Uni by the name of Tony Saunders. He was significant enough for Teri to remember the name. Teri suggested he talk to Adrian about it.

James did that;

On the phone Adrian thought for a minute. "Yeah, I know exactly who you are talking about. He was a pretty smooth looking guy. I can imagine a girl might have the hots for him. He would have creamed a few panties in his time; he was a real flirt. The problem is he was gay and was killed in a road accident, not so long ago."

To Adrian that seemed a dead end but if she was having an affair, she might be using work time. Emma came and went from Cuthberts to Maxwell Dow. There were not the heavyweight negotiations at Cuthberts that there were earlier, now there was only the normal contracts and proposals that would need scrutiny. The project negotiations would return later if the proposal was successful. Now she would spend most of her time back in the law office. It would probably be impossible to know what she was doing during the day but he thought he would have a word to the receptionist at Maxwell Dow anyway. And when he did the penny dropped.

"You mean you don't know?" The receptionist smirked. Her attitude angered James. "Don't play around, what should I know that I apparently don't?"

"She and your CFO leave every Thursday at lunchtime for the afternoon."

"Where to?"

The receptionist seemed to find something at her feet to stare at avoiding James' gaze. "I don't know, maybe they go to the gym then."

James was suddenly embarrassed. The staff at Maxwell Dow and Cuthberts all probably know this and it would be easy putting two and two together.

He sheepishly replied to the Receptionist, "OK, thank you Anne." He looked up, Anne had a sad look in her eye as he turned and retreated to his office floor.

Entering his office, he closed the door and slumped down in his chair. The feelings he had when he first got the text came flooding back. Alone, he fought back the tears. It was time for him to take action. He hurriedly left the office with the need to physically work off his emotions and to think. To do what he does best, solve the problem.

He got into his car and drove to the Port Hills. The Port hills of Christchurch were the remnants of a huge volcano, the result of successive cataclysms as the tectonic plates below New Zealand ground across one another. Cataclysms were something James related to right now and the steep slopes were just right for walking off the mental effects of the current eruption.

If the two of them were fucking every week, where would they do it? Pondered James. Nicolas' apartment was probably out as he knew Elise would work from home frequently. A motel or hotel every week would be a stretch. The easiest would-be Emma's and his own place. Under normal circumstances he would never be there.

Thursday afternoon during the proposal development was the timing for an intensive weekly meeting with the innovational core group. Now that he was free of that he could just turn up unexpectedly at home on that afternoon. In fact, because the meetings had finished, he had booked his car for a warrant at the service station, an easy walking distance from the house. He had a plan.

It was a nervous but normal week for James. Emma would be none the wiser. James was focussed on the options if things turned for the worst. There was only one incident that week. Weirdly, Thursday morning Emma appeared at breakfast in her work suit but with the addition of a black choker. James asked why she was wearing something more appropriate for a nightclub to work and he demanded she take it off. His unexpected anger frightened Emma and she meekly removed it.

******

Later that day he dropped the car off at the workshop and took the ten-minute walk to his house. His heart sank when he saw Nicola's Mercedes parked in the drive. He quietly moved around the house to determine what activity was going on and found it in the lounge so he entered quietly through the back door past the bedrooms.

Entering the hallway next to the lounge he heard an audible grunting. James drew his breath. The obvious crossed his mind, 'Fuck, the bitches are fucking.'

The door to the lounge was ajar leaving a slight gap at the hinge. James positioned himself to get a view of what was happening. What he saw dropped the bottom out of his marriage. Both were naked. Emma was lying prone on the floor. Nicola was between her legs propped with her arms rhythmically dragging her full bush up Emma's hairless mons. It was a slow forceful grind and both grunted in unison.

James recoiled, trying to gather his thoughts. The grunting stopped and he went back to see what they were doing. Nicola had collapsed onto Emma and was hugging her tightly, their boobs mashed together as Nicola ground her hips around and around against Emma's mons. Emma's legs were waving in the air as she tried to encircle Nicola with them.

James retreated outside and went through the back gate into a small patch of bush at the edge of an adjacent parkland. He often went there to collect his thoughts and think as it was where he got his forest therapy when stressed. Divorce seemed to ring in his ears. He wondered how he would go about that. If he was going to claim infidelity, he had not thought to record them on his phone. However, it probably did not matter as in New Zealand the only grounds for divorce were the irreconcilable breakdown of the marriage. There would be no blame and a two year wait before divorce could actually be filed. To do that they would have to separate for that period. That would be fine by James as they would be immediately free of each other and they could do what they liked. There could be no other way. A thought came to mind, in that they were lucky she was not pregnant. That would have been the only real issue to complicate matters.

He decided he needed to go back and film it at least for the benefit of any doubters. Cheating with a man is one thing but somehow cheating with a woman was not seen in the same light by some people. It would make no difference to the divorce but he thought nobody would believe what she had done without evidence. There would be no opportunity for them to gaslight him about it.

As he neared the back of the house, seeing them through the sliding glass doors, he realised that they had moved to the Kitchen. He moved back into the bushes so he would not be seen and started filming with his mobile. Emma was standing against the sink bench, her head bowed and hands clasped in front of her. "Dammit." Thought James "She's wearing that choker." And that was all she had on.

Nicola was somewhere but James could not see her. He could hear her barking voice though but he could understand what was being said. He was initially disappointed that he was not able to film them in action but patience was rewarded. Emma turned around, supporting herself off the bench. There was a bark and she lifted herself onto her tiptoes thrusting out her arse. Nicola moved in supporting a very large blue strap on dildo. She thrust her fingers into Emma's vagina and spent some time vigorously manipulating her reddened swollen flaps. Then she worked the dildo in gingerly and when half in she thrust it the rest of the way. The pumping was fast and furious in no time. Nicola bent over Emma and began cruelly manipulating her hanging tits.

James stopped filming aghast at what was going on. This was obviously not new, this is what they did. Figuring it was time to pick up his car he slipped around the house and onto the road. Getting the car gave him time to think about the next move.

Arriving back, he parked down the street. He had decided that this time he would barge in and confront them. He got to the front door but could not initially hear anything. After carefully entering he realised that they had retired to the master bedroom. The door was ajar and he could see exactly what they were doing. Emma was lying prone in a 69 position with Nicola straddling over her facing the door and concentrating on Emma's pussy while Emma was at the other end doing her bit.

Nicola did not see James standing there as she was engrossed, alternatively using three fingers rapidly agitating her vagina, replacing it with her extraordinarily long agile tongue and slapping her vulva. James was momentarily transfixed before clearing his head yelling, "What the fuck are you doing?".

Nicola's head shot up revealing Emma's bald red inflamed cunt. The accumulation of Nicolas' saliva in Emma's prodigious leaking had formed a wet puddle in the sheet below. James advanced as Nicola scrambled to get off Emma to the side of the bed, yelling "Fuck, fuck, fuck its James!" As she did so Emma's head rose up screaming.

James advanced and Nicola cowered beside the bed. Emma stopped screaming and wide eyed, her mouth gaping. Stiffened in shock, her legs were still spread with her cunt exposed in all its glory.

"You couple of bitches. So, this is what it's about, is it Nicola? You fucking back stabber, after all my help with your career you do this to me. Elise warned me about you a year ago, I did not believe it, so here it is. You realise you are fucking finished in this town. You have fucked yourself out of a career."

Nicola was shocked, and her head was still bowed. She tried to calm James. "Please James, can we be reasonable? We should talk this through."

"What the fuck is there to be reasonable about. You have obviously been doing this for months, maybe the whole year."

Nicola tried another tack; she stood erect and held her head up. "Hey, James, this could be to your advantage, two sexy women to satisfy you. "As she did so she suggestively clutched at her slit through her thick lush bush."

This sent James into an incandescent rage. Neither Emma nor Nicola had ever witnessed or imagined James like this. Nicola cowered low as James advanced over her, fists raised. She avoided him and scampered under his arms and out the door, then scrambled around the lounge snatching her bits and pieces. Once she was out the door, James and Emma watched in silence as the scene ended with a screech as Nicola reversed her Mercedes out the drive.

James turned to Emma and she began to sob and cower. She thought he would hit her but instead he flopped down on the bed beside her and all the emotion poured out of him in uncontrollable sobs. Realising he would not hit her Emma shuffled across and put her arm around him. James responded with one word, "Why?" Emma could not reply.

They lay there in silence for a long time each trying to gather their thoughts. Finally, it was Emma that sat up and broke the silence, "What do you want to do?"

James glared at her. "First I have to claim you back and that will not happen without some punishment."

"You want to make love now."

"Not exactly love. Go have a shower and prepare your arse. Come back here with your plug-in place."

"You want to do anal. Aren't we trying for a baby."

"Not this time. Listen, just do it."

His tone was menacing and Emma was not about to question it further. She suddenly felt extremely dirty. She scurried into the ensuite and spent some time scrubbing before preparing her arse for what was to come.

The shower and douche at least relaxed her a little and she arrived back to the bed warily.

"Ok, bend over the bed and support yourself on it," James demanded as he stood and moved around behind her.

He took off his shoes, trousers and boxers. A few minutes before he was flaccid and wondered whether in the circumstance, he could perform but seeing her like this he became extremely hard. So hard is dick seemed to ache. He removed her butt plug.

Emma had brought out a tube of gel but James noted that Emma was wide and leaking. She was herself intensely turned on about what he was about to do. He scooped some of Emma's natural lubricant and worked it into her now dilated anus. He helped it along with his spit then worked his rigid appendage through the sphincter into the warm moist cavity beyond. He slowly began to pump working up momentum then taking a cue from what he had witnessed in the kitchen he grabbed her tits and then savagely started twisting them. Emma was gasping and whimpering. "Is this what you like Emma, is this what Nicola and you like to do."

And then he heard. It was barely audible, "Yes sir, we do."

James thrusted hard against Emma and did what he had never done before, alternatively slapped her butt. His thrusts became so great they collapsed onto the bed; his hands trapped under Emma's tits. He then began to grind and pump. Emma had her hand under desperately stimulating her clit until with a grunting roar James discharged deep into her bowel.

They slipped back onto the bed exhausted. Emma kept rubbing herself until coming to her own orgasm.

There was another period of silence with them both deep in their thoughts. It was Emma who spoke next, whispering "James, James, what have I done to you?"

James replied, "It's us, Emma. what have you done to us?"

Emma nodded in Agreement

I am interested to know when it started and why?

Emma thought for a minute." I... I fell in love with her and the rest happened from there. You were busy and did not seem to have time for me. she was someone I could talk to. She listened to me, you never did. It grew from there."

"What, she listened to you all right, then used it against you, or rather us. But you haven't said when it started."

Emma was vague, "Oh, a couple of months ago."

"It's been going longer than that. Do you remember our dinner party? You two were flirting there in front of Elise and me. How disrespectful was that."

"I didn't see that as flirting. We were just having fun."

"You don't usually behave that way. It would be out of keeping with the way others would see you. It was already underway then, wasn't it?"

"What do you mean? We had been meeting for coffee and got on incredibly well?" The accent on 'Incredibly'. "I was fascinated with her because she was your girlfriend for so long."

"And you knew damn well she was a lesbian."

"I didn't think of that then. We just enjoyed each other's company."

"And at some stage you discovered you were lesbian too; I suppose with her encouragement."

"She did not encourage; she did not want to cheat on Elise. she gave me advice."

"Cheat on Elise. That's a laugh. She cheated on me when we were going out years ago. She was already emotionally cheating on Elise by her behaviour at that party. Elise was pissed. She warned me about Nicola."

"I didn't know that. Unfortunately, I did not think anything of it at the time. Something I regret big time now."

"So, what advice did she give you?"

"I was mixed up. My feelings for her kind of went from friendship, to BFF and I started to feel sexually attracted to her. I was thinking about her a lot."

"I noticed that. Was she making you wet?"

"If you must put it crudely, yes, when I thought about her. I asked her if I was bi. I had no idea about such things. I had never thought of myself that way. Oh, I had school girl crushes but they were more like intense friendships we never did anything. I wouldn't have dared."

"I get the picture. It was sort of like the spider and the fly. You are the fly."

"What are we going to do?"

"Well, we are fucked now. Nicola will be toast at work, you, probably as well."

"Can't we just keep it under wraps and work it out ourselves,"

A wave of anger welled up in James at the remark. "You are kidding me; I am seriously hurt here. This is the second time this has happened, first Nicola and now you. And just as we were trying for a baby. So, for a start, what were you two planning about the baby? Was I to be the sperm donor and you would divorce me and marry Nicola... or Nic as she likes to call herself now."

"I hadn't thought that, the two things were separate in my mind."

"You can bet Nicola thought about it."

"She wouldn't."

"You can bet on it. So why fall in love?"

"Nobody can help it if they fall in love. It just happens. It's a fortunate romantic fact of life."

"Romantic! You are so wrong. You start having these feelings for someone, if you are married you cut them off."

"Well, I couldn't"

"That's because you did not want to. I have been in that situation. It's what I do. I would not want to undermine what we have."

"You mean you have cheated on me with someone else?"

"Absolutely not. You are trying to distract me from your guilt."

"But you just admitted you had feelings for someone."

"Feelings, just fleeting feelings. I did not flirt; I did not proposition them. The only time a person would submit to those feelings was because they wanted to. You, by your action, wanted to cheat on me and so were not committed to me. I don't know why, maybe you were frustrated with the time I spent on the project and delaying having the baby you so wanted."

"But I did not want to cheat on you."

"Maybe it was not at the front of your mind. Listen, why did you marry me?"

"Because I love you."

"What was the attraction?"

"Just chemistry I suppose."

"Come on, why was it acceptable?"

"You were eligible. Going places, I admired that."

"How did you see us?"

"Having babies, being a family in a nice house, I suppose. Having a great lifestyle."

"How did I fit into this?"

"You'd be my husband of course."

"Is there any 'us' in this?"

Of course there is an us."

"No there isn't, you are just thinking of what you want."

"But that's what you wanted as well."

"I wanted us, not just you. But why did you cheat on me?"

"Because I fell in love with someone else?"

"So, they could give you those things but better then?"

Emma went silent.

The point I am saying is that to make 'us' work there has to be mutual empathy. The point of marriage and a family is that given the bad times we have each other's back. We weather the storm. We don't cut and run as soon as things get difficult hoping to find an instant better life with someone else. Saying you fell in love is an excuse because you were not motivated to halt those feelings and back off. Love was just an excuse."

"Love is not an excuse. It's real."

"But you loved me. Or did you?"

"Yes, but it was not the same."

"Fuck what? Not the same. We married, and we were going to have a baby. Are you going to have a life where you just fall in and out of love with no responsibility for the negative affects you have with random feelings? Marriage is supposed to be about stability for the family, and supporting the mental wellbeing of the other. Are you some kind of narcissistic psychopath?"

"Of course not."

"But you did not consider me. Of course you were tempted with this... this love. but you just did not have the fucking guts to resist it, did you? Not the fucking guts. It was just the pleasure of the moment. Fuck commitment. Fuck everyone else. You just wanted the fun."

"That's unfair."

"Unfair to whom exactly. "James paused. They sat in silence a little letting the tense atmosphere settle. James finally broke the silence in a low calm voice, "I think the trouble these days is individualism, we are losing empathy for one another. Life is just self-gratification and if we are not getting an instant fix, we feel unhappy. You were being totally selfish."

Emma slumped slightly. "I admit to that I suppose."

"I mean what do you gain from a lesbian relationship?"

"Well, I suppose I was exploring another part of me I did not know was there. Sexually it was new and exciting. I had never had sex as good as that."

"So, what does that have to do with the reasons you were attracted to me, family, babies and all."

"But lesbians can have babies and a family."

"Ah but they can never share DNA. At some stage the child may want to know where it got all those little things and features from whether it was hair colour or a large nose. They might want to know what diseases they might succumb to. And as to great sex, that is pure self-gratification. I respect Lesbians that are born that way but the sex is all they have, there is no other point to it but self-gratification. It's just mutual wanking."

"Oh, fuck you, there is more to that. There is the mutual connection with someone you love."

"You got that with me didn't you and you would have got babies and a real family."

"You do not understand. The sexual experience for me was mind blowing. I never would have dreamt it."

"That is the nub. Total selfishness. How come you cannot have that in a marriage, in our marriage? Have you considered going skydiving? That is apparently mind blowing and a real adrenaline rush and it wouldn't split the marriage."

"No way."

"There you go. We all make choices. You made a choice to have a mind-blowing experience and sacrificed your marriage." James continued, "So you are becoming a lesbian now, are you? Are you going to be one of the U-Haul lesbians that rush from relationship to relationship when the mind-blowing sex gets repetitive and boring"

"No, no, no. We were planning a family."

"What with me as a sperm donor or were you going to get some gay guy to donate."

"Oh shit..."

"Love and lust are both selfish. They are generated in our own bodies. Yeah, they are enhanced by others but you never really know what the other feels. Is your love really reciprocated or is what they say just words? It sounds to me you were hell bent on divorce. Is Nicola going to provide the family you want? Does she love you that way?"

"Of course."

"I wouldn't be so sure. She cheated on me years ago and she is cheating on Elise. How can you trust her? On top of that, after all the help I gave her, she just stabbed me in the back and she has recruited you to help. Et tu Brute.... and you will be next!"

"But I still love you, I didn't want to hurt you. There can be a future for us, somehow. I had not really thought through the divorce. I thought I could do this and get back together somehow." Emma broke down into sobs.

"Really? That is so fucked up on so many levels. I do not recall discussing this life plan with you. Listen, it sounds like you want to repair this shit storm. Do you?" James continued, not waiting for an answer, whispering, "I'm hungry, let's get something to eat."

It wasn't that James was hungry. He was conscious that he was doing most of the talking and the words would be going through one ear and out the other.

They both snacked on some crackers and cheese and were sitting on the sofa silently sipping wine. Emma was now in her fluffy dressing gown and curled up snuggling into James. He felt numb but did not push her away. He was still running on adrenaline and the pain and grief had yet to hit him. His mind was racing in a busy problem-solving mode. He came to a decision but it had to be on his terms.

"You sound like you have some kind of hope for our marriage. If you truly love me you have to put away this destructive relationship with Nicola. I am certain she is using you to destroy our marriage and my standing at work. It is an act of absolute spite.

If she is successful at some stage she will turn on you and you will be destroyed. I am not over-dramatizing. You are not to have any contact, work or otherwise with Nicola from now. You will come with me to work tomorrow; there will be no carpooling with Nicola. I will fit my schedule to fit yours. Tomorrow I am going to have to square things with the old man. If we are going to continue with our marriage, we are to immediately start counselling. We will have to put the baby to one side until I can trust you and have confidence that the marriage will work. That may take six months or two years. But the way I feel at the moment I cannot give my word that it will work but that is the risk."

It seemed that Emma had now become lost for words. Strange for a lawyer. In the previous exchange she had responded like she was in some strange courtroom saga, now she just wanted to clear her thoughts. She seemed conflicted, there had been none of the usual excuses. She just admitted to it based on having fallen in love, end of story. Wrapped up in the emotion of it all, she had not thought of the consequences of being caught, had no other answer and not a clue about what she wanted or how to untangle the situation. Her justifications showed she was wholly unprepared for the interaction and retreated into silence, softly crying, her tears streaming down her cheeks.

She had lost the will to argue and instead she took to nuzzling James's neck and putting her hand into his dressing gown she began to caress him. It was clear where she was going. "Ok I accept anything you say James. I admit my fault in it. Can we just make love, I really need you right now."

She smiled, but through her smile a sadness was showing. It was a sadness in her eyes that James had sometimes seen these last weeks when she thought no one was looking. James still had hope but in truth they were long past the point of no return, he just did not know it.

His mind a blur, James acquiesced to Emma, and standing, hand in hand they retired to the bedroom. Emma took off her fluffy gown and lay on the bed. James stared at her pale skin, her blonde hair spreading out over the pillow. Her boobs flattened slightly as she lay back and her mons prominent and hairless as she lay prone. The word sleek came to mind. Emma was sleek, she did not seem shaped like a mum, she lacked those subtle curves. He moved over to her and she parted her legs in anticipation of his embrace. He settled between her legs and stared into her mournful eyes. They seemed to lack the spark of enthusiasm. Imagining Nic grinding her in this position his dick remained flaccid. It would not rise. He thought of her selfishness. He was certain at that point, that unless she understood that and could repair the selfishness, the marriage would not work. He wondered, can anyone learn empathy? Can a leopard change its spots? Such thoughts were not conducive to fucking. He rolled over, got up and went to the lounge to watch TV Emma stayed where she was silently weeping, beginning a restless night for both

******

The following morning was like the aftermath of some disaster. James and Emma Breakfasted in silence before setting off to work. The fire had gone from Emma's eyes and left a lifeless wimp. She avoided his gaze. She did not seem to have the courage to fight for their marriage. Where had the woman that James once knew gone? They had been the power couple and now their once strong partnership seemed disassembled. Finishing her coffee she looked sadly at James." I do love you James and I don't want to lose you, if there was...."

James cut her off, "So you do love me and you don't want to lose me. That just tells me you have some kind of affection for me, beyond that you want to continue to possess me. Your love is meaningless to me if there is no commitment and there is no consideration for my feelings on the matter. Maybe through counselling we can recover ourselves, but you have to find that commitment."

Emma gave him a wane smile, but the deep sorrow was in her eyes. Emma had no answer and let it be. Her smile faded.

They left for work, James felt traumatised and drove the car in silence. There were only a few meaningless comments, observations made on others commuting to work. James' engineering mind was intent on fixing the situation, he had to solve the problem. He was in total denial about divorce, that would mean failure and shame.

If you think of a precious car and it has a serious breakdown, say a broken crankshaft. The car is crippled, and first the problem has to be logically deduced, what caused it? Then, how can it be fixed? What part will have to be replaced? Who can help fix it and what it will cost? If it is too difficult to fix it will be written off. That's how James' engineering mind worked. Unfortunately, Emma was not a car and had a mind of her own, as did the cause, Nicola. James realised that over time he had become disconnected from Emma. He was at a complete loss with how she thought.

*****

Once at work they parted. James busied himself in his office to think about how he would approach the old man. Turning everything over in his mind, he could not focus on his work, and could not come to any conclusion on what he should say to Ken. He was effectively traumatised and was not thinking straight. At about 10:30 James was in his office drinking a coffee by himself when two security guards, a man and a woman, hovered at the door and when James nodded, they entered closing the door.

James' technical position included oversight of the firm's security. Each Friday James received an email from security reporting on the week. Usually, it was brief with little of any substance in it for James to address. Unless some issue was highlighted in red, he usually only glanced over it. An hour later if there was no response from him it escalated to the old man. This was the first time security personnel had come directly to him before e-mailing and James wondered what had happened.

"Sorry sir something has come up and before we process the report, we thought you had better know about it as it concerns your wife."

The woman had an iPad and he flicked it on and turned around so that James could see the video.

This occurred at 8:30 am this morning in the box room on the 4th floor. As the room was unoccupied and contained a server it had CCTV as a security measure.

The video showed the door opening, Emma entered first followed by Nicola who closed the door. There was no audio but both appeared to start arguing. The argument began to get animated with Nic in Emma's face gesticulating wildly. Suddenly Nic had Emma by the throat and pushed her against the wall kissing her passionately. She let go of Emma's throat and started fiddling with her blouse, eventually popping a breast from her bra. She started squeezing the tit and pulling the pale nipple, then with the other hand she hitched up Emma's tailored skirt. She forced her hand into Emma's undies and was vigorously clawing at her sex. Emma had ceased resisting and as Nic worked her Emma just stared blankly back at Nic's stare. James could see spit dribbling from Emma's parted lips as she began panting.

Rage welled up inside James as he tried to speak, emotion breaking his voice.

"You can s-stop this now, I- I've seen enough."

"How do you want to treat this, sir."

Just submit the report as you usually do but send me the video now and I will see the old man in advance to sort out what we will do. I don't need to tell you to keep discreet about this. We will take the appropriate action. The guards did as requested and left. James in turn picked up his own tablet and bustled out the office and seeing the CEO's PA requested an urgent meeting. Within a minute or two he was standing in front of the CEO. He was obviously flustered, disturbing the old man.

"My James, what's up? I was about to come to you but it looks like you have a problem."

"I am sorry Ken; I have been having a few problems with Emma and now this has happened." James pointed at the tablet.

"What on earth? Well, I had better see it."

James faced the tablet at the old man and brought up the video. "This was recorded on the CCTV at 8:30am this morning in the box room. It is the CFO with my wife."

The CEO stared at the screen, eyes wide and gaping. He watched very little of it before exclaiming, "Shut it off, I have seen enough."

He buried his head in his hands. They remained in silence before he looked up at James with an expression of compassion. " I couldn't imagine what you are feeling right now James, this is so horrible. How could Emma be involved in such a thing."

"I only just found out, sir, that they have been having some kind of an affair. I thought I had put a stop to it."

"Were you going to attempt some kind of reconciliation?"

"We are trying for a baby. I thought we would go to counselling."

"Well, I wouldn't totally give up on her, James, but this I don't know. I am going to have to contact Phillip downstairs at Maxwell Dow about this. She can't continue to work here after this. Did you know Nicola is resigning. She was to end the position in about a couple of months' time."

" I had no idea."

"She had her sights set on my position when I retire. When I told her that it was up to the Board but appointing her was unlikely in the amalgamation, she threw her toys out of the cot. But This." The old man gestured at the tablet. "She must have known there was CCTV in that room, I think she had done this wilfully, she's burning her bridges. It will not do her any good. She will have no positive reference out of us. She will have to go on gardening leave, as from today."

"What about Emma?"

"That's up to Phillip but I am sorry James she can't stay seconded to us."

"Can you talk to Phillip? At least get him to let her resign and have a reference."

"That's the least I can do." They stared at one another for a few seconds and Ken moved on," It's sad about Nicola, she had so much promise. However, I had been getting complaints about her bullying staff so she was already headed for a performance review. I will call her in this afternoon. I will have to put her on gardening leave until we can work this all out.

"I didn't know. I suppose it's 'I told you so' time."

"Absolutely not. I know I opposed her promotion to CFO. But it was not so much because she was lesbian or anything else. I was convinced in the end by your advocacy of her obvious talents. I might seem to some to be a Christian conservative but I am a man of the world. You are aware of the charitable works that I do with all sorts of issues. I believe credit is due where credit is due despite creed, race or sexual orientation. I might disapprove of their lifestyle but if it does not affect their work, I will not hold them back. It was just with Nicola I felt she did not have our values somehow. It was a feeling and I could not put it into words."

The firm had an ethical, values base and all shareholders understood that a share of the profits went to charitable causes before dividends were handed out. It was written into the company charter. It was one of the factors that attracted James to the firm when he was recruited and conversely the knowledge of James's family values was important to the firm. This scandal would be hugely embarrassing for them.

Ken continued. "It is a pity this has come up today. I was about to call you in to announce better news. Your project has had the final tick off." Despite James' obvious mood, the old man could not contain his glee, crying, "all systems are go!" He raised himself high fiving James. "I am calling the entire team together at 1:00 pm. The announcement is going to press this afternoon. We will have some kind of celebration next week."

Ken paused, then reflected on James' circumstance." Perhaps that was a little insensitive in the circumstance, but listen, I really am sorry to hear about your problems with Emma. What caused her to get drawn into what we witnessed today, one can only speculate. She came to us with professional integrity and an impressive reputation. Maybe she has had some kind of breakdown. I am acutely aware of the pressure you two have been under in the project. I do hope you can work it out."

James could feel the welling emotion inside of him as he watched the genuine sadness in the old man's eyes. The conversation had been bitter sweet. His voice broke a little as he told him the next steps. "I expect I will have to say a few words at the presentation. She'll be there and will not know we have seen the video. Perhaps I could briefly talk about our personal next steps to try and turn her around. It's a kind of final desperate act, I suppose, to guilt her publicly but I hate to think that I will lose her without some kind of fight."

Ken frowned, his last words were. "Listen, you are naturally emotional at the moment. Please think carefully about what you say."

1:00 pm the whole team gathered in the main boardroom. The Partition doors were folded back to expand the space for the crowd. James could see both Emma and Nicola standing side by side. Both seemed nervous and were fidgeting as they stood. Ken Baxter, the CEO, stood with James and the COO, Ash Barber beside him. He welcomed the crowd for the good news. "I am pleased to announce that the future major expansion of the company was now assured now that their partners had all signed off. It would be the most expansive project ever undertaken by the company. There has been a press release and the news will be hitting the media as of midday."

Ken turned to James giving credit to his leadership role in pulling the proposal and business case together, giving a brief outline of the gargantuan task. Ken then returned to James saying that, "the Board had approved a new position which will effectively be 2IC to the CEO and this will be filled by James Connelly." There was a burst of applause and some cries of Speech, Speech. James glanced at Emma who was grinning, Nicola beside her scowling.

"Ash will stay as COO for the company while James's responsibility will be for the Aerospace arm," continued Ken.

Since Ash was due to retire soon this was the clearest indication yet that the existing business would be wound down, but this remained unspoken about.

"Without further ado I will give James the floor to say a few words."

James stepped forward flushed. He started by thanking Ken, then gave credit to his team and focussed on key contributors. His next statement was one that he would come to regret. It would add to his humiliation in front of the staff and he could only put it down to emotional panic.

"Lastly, I would like to give my love and appreciation for my all-suffering wife Emma who has stood by me these last two years. It has not been easy. This has been the most intensive working period of my life and I cannot be more thankful for the support that Emma has given me.... Come up here Emma."

There was an awkward smattering of applause. Emma burst into tears but shuffled up and stood beside James. Somebody handed her some Kleenex as she arrived and she dabbed them at her tears.

"Well, I can tell you now, Emma, it is over. We can now get back to normal life. We are trying for a baby so the rest of our lives start here. The mobilisation for the expansion starts in the New Year so Emma and I will be taking a well-earned vacation." James was looking at Emma as he said this. She was staring at him, eyes wide, mouth open. Was it Joy or horror?

James detected an uncomfortable atmosphere in the room. There was an undercurrent of murmuring and James immediately began to regret what he had just said. Ken cut back in and the representation ended with administration announcements silencing the buzz in the crowd. James looked around for Emma but she and Nicola had scampered off.

At two p. m. Emma was called down to the principal director's office of her law firm. Nicola was called into Ken's office. Twenty minutes later James was called in. As he approached Ken's office, he noticed a distraught Nicola being escorted to the lifts.

******

WHAT JAMES' BOSS THOUGHT

On entering Ken's office, James closed the door.

Ken spoke. "Well, I have done the deed. It was not pleasant. She was obviously upset but otherwise she took it reasonably calmly in the circumstances. She just seemed to sit there like a stunned mullet. I have put her on a month's gardening leave while there is an investigation. It's not just what happened this morning, there have been numerous complaints of bullying. It's a pity because as a CFO she was top notch. I am going to appoint you as interim CFO to cover her position until the investigation is completed and we are either back to normal or we have recruited someone into the position. You will have a competent team working for you so hopefully it will just be a matter of nurse-maiding the financial division along. In the meantime, please take over the CFO's office next to mine."

Ken continued, "I believe Nicola lacked some of the components of emotional intelligence, she was not a people person really, not a team player and lacked any real empathy. I know you liked and stood by her but I think you were a bit too close to her to really see it. I took you at your word as you were going to have to work with her and she was damned good at what she did. In retrospect she was never going to work in an operation like ours despite her abilities, she had really been promoted out of her area of competency. That was my mistake. The woman operated with blind self-interest and I am sorry you were the victim of that. Her bullying nature might have worked in some hardnosed Aussie corporation but it's not the kiwi way in my opinion. Even without the incident this morning I believe she had to go.

I have to say, having to lay her off is highly embarrassing to me and the firm. We have always had a policy of redeploying our staff to areas more suited to their talents than firing. If the investigation turns out as I believe it will, it will be the first time I have had to fire someone of this seniority. We, the firm, have never put our business transactions ahead of our responsibilities to staff. I believe a little altruism goes a long way in encouraging fostering goodwill with our staff, clients and shareholders.

Solely focussed on transaction encourages avarice, unstable rapacious expansion and aggrandisement at the eventual expense of success. Our reputation bottom line has shown that. It is what brought our partners together.... And now this. I only hope Nicola has not made us out to be a house of cards."

Ken concluded, "But within this we are all human and stuff will happen. I am determined we will survive this and learn from it. And for you personally it will have been traumatic but again I know your determination and you will be learning from it as well. I really do feel for you for what has happened. I hope that you are able to fix things up with Emma but I would understand if there is a need for you both to divorce. That is of course your decision but the firm has access to counselling through our HR so please take advantage of that, it will cover you both if needed. Never fear I have your back in this."

James winced at the thought, "If Emma wanted it, maybe, it might help. For myself I am sceptical about maudlin wallowing in my own misfortunes while someone is making money prolonging my misery. If I have to, I prefer to get over it and get on with life, finding someone to start over again with and be wiser at that."

"Well, that is as it may be, James, but it is there if you need it."

James thanked Ken and forlornly made his exit from the office. He returned to his own office and sat numbly. He tried to focus on some work but he was stressed. Optimistically he hoped that the vacation, an intended cruise, would focus them on their future and family. He looked forward to getting home. Maybe they could go out to dinner. He buzzed his PA and requested to book a good restaurant.

Come 5:00 James went to find Emma. She was not in her office so he got off the lift at the law office. The receptionist was packing up but indicated Emma had gone at about 2:30. He began to regret not calling her earlier.

James felt a wave of foreboding. He had no idea what to expect when he got home. He now thought that the restaurant idea was stupid and unthinking. The events had confused him. In his elation at his personal elevation, he had been focussed positively on their future, forgetting this morning's activity and the fact she had probably just lost her job. He mentally beat himself up for his little humiliating spiel about Emma to the staff. It had been an act of sheer desperation and he could not fathom what might happen next. He suddenly realised she had probably left with Nicola. In despair he suddenly thought, 'Why did not I keep her with me? She will be in crisis with only Nicola to comfort her.'' The thought made him nauseous.

The receptionist was looking at him concerned, she guessed that he was in crisis and asked if he was OK.

He felt a sudden urgency to get home, he motioned to her that he was OK and rushed to the lift and down to the carpark.

Arriving home there appeared no sign of life. He hurried to their bedroom. There were signs of a rapid departure with clothes strewn around. He looked for her papers in Emma's bedside cabinet. Her passport was gone but she had left her phone. That puzzled James. He opened it discovering that she had taken the lock off.

He first looked at her messages. All except the day's messages seemed to have been wiped. All were between her and Nicola. There was the call to meet in the box room but the killer was from Nicola. "I have managed to change the flights but we have to go to Sydney via Auckland. We have very little time. I will take you home to pack."

Then there was the last unsent message to him simply saying, "Sorry."

For exactly what he did not know. There was no explanation but at least there was a sign of guilt or shame.

The consequences of the last two months seemed to come crowding onto him, stifling him. Compounding the situation was the utter humiliation in front of the staff and his boss, a humiliation not just by their actions but compounded by James' own pathetic attempt to publicly paper over it as though all was well with Emma and him.

Nausea welled up inside him and he rushed to the ensuite to throw up into the toilet. He steadied himself, got up and washed his face. He became conscious of the cold and empty house. He felt a zombie and he struggled to break free of his numbness.

James took his phone out and dialled. "Mum, can someone come and collect me from home? Emma's gone. I can't live anymore."

********

WHAT CYNTHIA THOUGHT

James was sitting on the deck toying with his breakfast. He had already been chastised by his mother, Patricia for not eating properly, but he really had not had much of an appetite with everything happening. His thoughts were disturbed by the arrival of his sister Cynthia.

"James darling, Cynthia's here." James' mother was ushering James' sister onto the deck where James was having a morning coffee in the bright sunshine.

"Hi Cyn, I take it you heard the news." James replied rather flatly. His mother screwed up her nose at James referring to Cynthia as Cyn. She had never liked the nickname but all Cynthia's friends all used it.

"How are you feeling 'J,' you are not looking great."

"Oh, a woozy Cyn, Mum gave me a sleeping pill last night and I am still shaking it off."

Cyn was James' oldest sister and a couple of years younger. Still unmarried, she was a cello player like her mother. She also taught music, played in the local symphony orchestra and had her own string quartet. Of all the female siblings she was the closest to James. She was his special confidante in his family. Also, she, James and Tom had been the three amigos growing up and had shared their lives up until James left for Uni.

"She was a bitch what she did to you. Mum filled me in on what happened."

"Yeah Cyn, well, I have to say I am pretty confused about it all."

"Are you getting a divorce, then?"

"If you had asked me yesterday morning, I would say maybe, maybe not. But that video changed all that. "

"Mum told me about the video. I can't believe Nicola, running off with Emma. Elise must be absolutely distraught. I could not believe Nicola would ever do that. They were committed. What hold did Emma have on Nicola, for god's sake?"

"I think it was the other way around, Cyn. Hey, you knew Nicola very well. Didn't you?"

"We were very close while you two were an item, but eventually drifted apart when she moved in with Elise."

"Did she seem the type to sleep around?"

"Heavens no, she and Elise were devoted."

"Nic never hit on you then?"

"Oh shit, she would never do that. A couple of her friends hit on me though."

"You were never tempted to take them up then?"

Cyn coloured and looked down slightly embarrassed. "Er... not them. When I was younger, I experimented a little but that was innocent stuff. I decided no way... wasn't for me. Why are you asking me this? A lady does not share her secrets."

"This is a revelation, Cyn." James was laughing for the first time this morning. "For a second then I had the horrible idea that all the women I knew were turning gay."

Cyn joined the laughter. "Yeah, well you keep quiet about it. I shouldn't have told you."

"Of course I would not tell anyone. When have I ever betrayed your confidence with you."

"I know.... all good. While I am being honest about things, would I hurt you if I said I never liked Emma?"

"Not today. Why have you never said this before? I thought you liked her."

"You must have noticed we have not seen each other a lot since you were married. You were so in love I thought you would hate me if I said anything negative about her."

"I suppose you were partially right. But in my heart, I could never hate you. I'd be miffed I'm sure though. Why did you object to her?"

"I never thought she was a good match for you. She is an only girl, a princess. Anything she wanted she got. I just saw her as self-entitled and selfish. I know about her teenage years and I wonder how she got away with it with her parents. She must have had them around her little finger. I just felt she had no morals and in time she would do the dirty on you."

"That's a bit harsh, Cyn. We were very close, I honestly thought she was in love with me. She was much more affectionate than Nic. I always thought I was some sort of status symbol with Nic who was never as affectionate in private.

"That's just because Nic was more honest. Just look at Emma. She's a barbie, a blonde bimbo. She never looked good beside you. I thought you were way out of her league."

James became agitated at the criticism and felt that he was being attacked by association. Only Cyn could get away with talking like this. "Hey Cyn, in no way is she a bimbo, she is extremely intelligent and a highly respected accomplished lawyer."

" James." Cyn pleaded, "can't you see it. Why does a lawyer of such accomplishment prance around like her. Being a lawyer for god's sake she's going to be Machiavellian by profession. She is a chameleon. A ball breaker at work and a kitten at home."

"There is no harm in that we all give different faces to different people. The world's a stage and all that."

"Well, she lined you up as a trophy husband and when she got bored with you and the going got tough, she moved off with someone else. I feel sorry for Nic and Elise. She sucked them in." Cyn could be brutal but James understood it came from love.

"Cyn, I don't think it was all Emma's fault despite what you say. Did Mum tell you how I first saw them and their behaviour? There was some sort of femdom thing going on, Nic being the Dom and Emma the sub. The latest I heard from the CEO was that Nic had been bullying staff and was going to come under performance review and that was before all this happened yesterday."

"Cyn sounding shocked, "I never, ever had any experience like that with Nic. I find it hard to believe. I wonder what was going on. Mind you we have not socialized for a while."

"Well, I am taking over Nic's position for a while so I expect I will get all the details from her staff."

James moved on,"On top of it all, I made a total arse of myself. When we had the big announcement of the success of the business proposal and my new appointment I had to make a speech. I got Emma involved and I blathered on about us trying for a baby and taking a vacation."

"Why in hell did you do that?"

"I was stressed out and panicking after seeing that video. I had the crazy idea I could guilt her back in my desperation, I suppose."

"I think you made things worse."

"You're probably right and now I have most of the staff seeing me at my weakest. They probably think I am a total dork. It should have been my shining hour. I'm an idiot."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. It will blow over at work. It probably made you more human to them."

"Look Cyn, I really don't know how it all came about. Maybe Nicola was the predator and groomed an unsuspecting Emma or maybe Emma was vulnerable somehow and developed a crush on Nicola and became bicurious, unleashing something she could not control.

All that is probably irrelevant now because this was happening for months and each of them made multiple decisions as the affair developed and each of those decisions did not consider me or the consequences and each was a stab in my back. I never hurt Nicola deliberately; it was she that called off our engagement and I accepted she was gay. She was my friend and I helped her, and she was your friend. Even if it was Emma who initiated it, she had the power to stop it. Instead, they met behind my back for their pleasure. Both of them may have felt guilty from time to time but that pleasure must have included a vicarious thrill from sticking it to me."

They carried on discussing detail for a while until James called time. "Hey Cyn, I have a meeting with Adrian, shortly, are you free, do you want to come?"

"Why are you seeing him on a Saturday?"

"Oh, he's my friend, as well as being a lawyer and he was going to give me some advice about getting a family lawyer."

Cyn broke out in a broad grin. "Sure, why not. I have a rehearsal later but I have time this morning." When Cyn was in her teens, she had a major crush on Adrian but in those days, she was James' little sister and Adrian hardly noticed her. She remembered a day, when he was standing just behind her and she became conscious of him, the sexy aroma of this boy. She turned and looked into his eyes. She had the urge to kiss him and for the first time in her life she felt the wet desire in her undies. She panicked and thought she had peed herself. She turned red in embarrassment and fled crying to her room slamming the door. Adrian looked at James, perplexed, "What was that all about. Has your little sister gone nuts?"

*****

WHAT ADRIAN THOUGHT

It was about 11:00 am when Adrian ushered James and Cyn into his living room. He glanced at Cyn, looking surprised and pleased. "Wow Cyn, long time no see, you are looking great." The little girl had grown up. "Hey James, sorry, so sorry about the cluster fuck, I hope it's not too early for this but I think we need something special," He fetched a bottle of Glenfiddich 21-year-old single malt and busied himself with glasses.

"Isn't your best a bit OTT for me, Ad."

"No way, this is a disaster, we need fortitude, you want, Cyn?" Cyn nodded vigorously.

They settled down talking generalities before James launched into the whole sorry saga.

Adrian O'Doherty came from an impressive family. His father Eoin was an architect of some repute and his mother Nanette was no slouch either, with a PhD in economic history and had in the past held high flying positions with the Government and the UN. They were now semi-retired, spending their time between a quaint cottage in the old French village of Akaroa and a townhouse in Christchurch. The family had always been keen on sailing so he had moored a keeler in the marina in the Lyttleton Harbour. Their marriage was late making them mature parents when Adrian and Siobhan were born with Adrian's younger sister Siobhan being born when Nanette was over 40.

Adrian was a good listener as he had always been. He had been quite a lad in his day. Being a lawyer and very attractive to women with his looks and confidence, he had his share of scrapes with a litany of broken hearts behind him.

James trusted Adrian, they had been very close when younger although in recent years had drifted apart. To James, Adrian was someone who had immense knowledge in the affairs of the heart and he was eager for his opinion. James' relationship with Adrian was a robust one. They had not seen much of each other as of late but they would always be friends. They could be brash with each other. Adrian was not always the most sensitive but James knew where his heart was and whatever, Adrian would give it to him straight.

"I have got to say, James, this is a spectacular fall from grace from two high fliers. So, I take it, you are definite about divorce."

"Well, to me the whole experience was like a sucker punch from behind. Working a hundred-hour plus week and in total denial I just did not see anything like this coming. It just had me gazumped and Nicola totally finessed me here. Divorce would always have been inevitable however I would have liked some humanity so that Emma and I could discuss the whys and wherefores but that is not going to happen. I never thought she would just cut and run. So, in answer to your question, I don't see any other way. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would ever be divorcing my wife. She has apparently gone to Australia with her floozy. Will that be a problem, I will certainly not be pursuing her there?"

"Nup. not Oz. You can make a sole application and in two years, poof, done."

"I don't have any address for negotiating with her. I want to be fair and just get her out of my life."

"You don't have to but, yeah, I understand. We just have to find some way of communicating. Have you tried other platforms?"

"I have been blocked from everything."

Sounds like you have been cancelled, Bro." Adriam smirked, James nodded wearily. Adrian continued, "Does her parents know?"

"Don't know. She has her close friend in Auckland; Teri and she is flying out via Auckland. Of course we are assuming she is stopping in Sydney. Nicola has a father in Spain. They could even go there for the sake of argument. Look I have to say I've had it and I don't want to get into pleading with her to come back or going to counselling. This is just about putting a fair line under everything."

"Yeah. Gotcha. One thing that could be a fly in the ointment. You said you were trying for a baby. Is there no chance she could be pregnant?"

"Surely, she would have told me if she was."

"Stranger things have happened. Could be the reason they cut and run."

"No. This has been planned since before we started trying. I think Nic initiated this when she found out she was not going to be CEO."

Cyn chimed in at that point taking Nic's side. " Oh, I can't believe that. I can't imagine Nic stabbing you in the back like that whatever happened."

"Whatever, it's a mystery. But at a dinner party nearly a year ago Elise, her partner, took me aside and said that Nic was very, very jealous of me."

"Oh, Nic never gave me the impression she was jealous of you. She always talked you up to me." Cyn continued to defend Nicola.

Adrian cut back in. "I think you better visit this Elise, and talk to Teri and Emma's parents."

At that point Cyn motioned that she had a rehearsal and got up to prepare to leave. James had noticed that Adrian had been glancing at Cyn throughout the meeting. When Cyn got to the door Adrian took James aside quickly asking if Cyn was single and would James mind if he asked her out. "Go for it, Adrian, I am sure she will accept." Adrian rushed out and returned grinning from ear to ear. "You are directed to give me her mobile number."

They settled back with the whisky.

The next comment out of Adrian shocked James. "Have you heard the rumours about Emma. That she was fucking her way to the top and you were a rung on her ladder."

James appalled at the suggestion," I can't believe that."

"Why not, it's probably the best way to smash the glass ceiling."

"That's a horrible insinuation. She would be better off fucking some high-flying lawyer or someone like that and Nicola would not have been much of a rung. Listen, her abilities were well known, these rumours are shallow, and probably have more to do with her looks. She may not have had integrity in her love life but she certainly does in her professional life.

Phillip, her boss thought the world of her. I had a text this morning from Ken Baxter telling me that despite the debacle Phillip was prepared to help her with a reference. Her colleagues certainly respected her work so I take it the rumours did not start from there. I know I did not see this coming but I think I otherwise know her pretty well and fucking her way up the corporate ladder was absolutely not her modus operandi. So where do these rumours come from?"

"Yeah, I know. Not from her work I suspect but I see what you are saying. It's easy to brand a woman with this kind of behaviour based on her looks."

"That brings up the other rumour, that she was only your trophy wife and you have never been in love with her."

"What!" James' anger flared," You are stretching our friendship by telling me this shit."

"I know, James. I am your friend, that's why I am telling you. A guy in your position has to know what is being said behind your back. They will use it to undermine you."

"OK, OK, I deserved that. I understand where you are coming from. You know what happened, just rebut it with the truth."

"And that I have been doing." Adrian changed the subject quickly, "So what are you going to do James? Become one of the tragic weird incel types and devote yourself to a lonely laptop exploring the dark web looking at BTB sites to jerk over."

James spluttered, "Fuck off Adrian. You know me better than that. When the going gets tough, I get going. To me the past is my platform to look to the future."

"So, the old glass is half full then."

"Yup. I think I made a big mistake with Emma. You know it is dangerous to be in too much love with someone, to be blind to the things that will split you apart."

Adrian surmised "How would you know if someone is being devious. Why do they do it and go to lengths of hiding while keeping you hanging on. It's the separation of lust and love I suppose. I always think that lust is the bait and love the trap."

James reversed the idea, "Emma told me the opposite. She says she fell in love with Nic before having any sexual feelings for her. A big romance apparently."

"A romance? How sweet." Adrian replied sarcastically and continued, "I do think love is an indulgence. It's a one-sided thing. When one is in love there is an automatic feeling that the other owes you their love in return but that is not true at all. You cannot demand another's love; you have to earn it with commitment to build the trust necessary to make love durable. Unfortunately, Women think love is exciting, men think it is an affliction."

"Ha!" shouted James," I am learning something from you here. I think you are dead right.

I think there was no real commitment from Emma in this. Not enough to see her through the hard yards of married life. To do this she must have lacked any form of empathy. I might as well have been married to a psychopath. She had no feeling for me to do what she did. She was too busy following Mistress Nicola's directives."

"Well to my mind James it's certainly a variation on the ways to leave your lover. I am leaving you as directed by my dominatrix!"

They both laughed at the image of this. Adrian followed with," I believe it eminently better than the old story of the gal marrying her dreamboat, having two kids then trading up to a paunchy, bald bastard with more money and success. In this case Emma is trading down. I do not see a good future for her."

"I cannot believe it was going on so long and I did not see the signs right in front of me."

"Like what signs were there?" Adrian asked

"Changes in behaviour. She was getting more critical; very sensitive to little things that annoyed her. One strange thing she started doing was accusing me of negative thoughts about things she was doing. It was like she was feeling guilty about things. "

"What feeling guilty about cheating on you?"

"Not necessarily. Guilt about having negative thoughts about me."

"Ah the old transference. I bet Nicola encouraged those."

They sat in silence. Then Adrian spoke. "Do you think there was remorse, guilt or pity from Emma about what she had done?"

"I don't know." James replied. "I was getting a lot of extra and creative sex leading up to when they were caught but I put this down to the excitement of trying for a baby. After I caught them, her behaviour could well have been driven by fear either from me or Nic. The video of them arguing in the box room before the sex kicked in might well have been her trying to pull out of the arrangement. Obviously, the emotion descended into sex. I didn't tell you I found the phone and it was unlocked. All the texts, e-mails etc had been wiped except the last one indicating that they were going to Sydney,

" You think that deliberate?"

"Maybe. There was no note, no explanation. Just a simple text which was not sent saying, 'sorry.' Maybe Nic had control over her and did not want her to give any clue to where they were going."

"That possibly makes sense. That does sound deliberate. She obviously expected you to see that unsent text. She might make an attempt to try and contact you again." Then Adrian asked, " If she had some plausible story about Nic controlling her, would you take her back?"

"No. There seems to be evidence of protracted infidelity. Even if she was remorseful, she showed a lack of commitment during a critical period of our married life; who's to say she won't do it again. She in effect was cutting and running using love as an excuse.

In that she was thoroughly selfish I could never trust her to have my back in a tricky situation. We are lucky we do not have children and I could not have children with someone who I did not have confidence in to support a stable and durable homelife through thick and thin. So, there it is. No going back, whatever. At the same token I am willing to support her financially to enable her to have some kind of independence from Nic. At some time, she will want to escape from her influence. But that does not mean reconciling."

Adrian nods his head sadly and concludes by saying he will speak to his colleague Antonia Begg who was a specialist in family law. He said to expect a call on Monday.

They stayed and talked for some time catching up and reminiscing, especially about sailing and surfing. Adrian was still foiling in fact he had moved on to foil surfing. He talked about wing surfing which he was keen to take up. "Hey, we should get together. Have you still got your boards?"

"Oh yeah. They are in the garage. They have got a bit of dust on them as they haven't seen the light of day for a few years. Make that a definite."

Adrian's concluding remarks were ones only very close and old mates could make. "Hey James, I must say being cuckolded by an old girlfriend is a bit awkward... shows a bit of style though."

"that's not bloody funny Adrian."

"You've got to look on the bright side though, we all go through it one way or another."

"Yeah, you bastard, I remember Gabrielle," James was gearing up for a sparring match.

Oh shit, don't talk about Gabrielle. How was I to know I had hitched myself to the town bike?"

"That wasn't so funny, was it? She rang me, you know."

"She never. You've never said anything. I didn't know you knew her."

"I met her on your twenty first birthday. I never said anything because I wasn't in touch much in those days. She rang me because she said you had turned all your friends against her and I was the only one she could think of that might help."

"But you never contacted me about it."

"There was no need. I just put her off saying the relationship was a dead duck. You know the guy who gave her the clap, forced himself on her."

"Hey! If she reckoned, she was raped, she did not say anything to me. Surely, she would have gone to the cops."

"Well you wouldn't let her explain and you know as well as I do it is fucking hard for a girl to go to the cops in these circumstances, you know her word against his. May be if you had listened she would have." James' disapproval was obvious.

Adrian sounded contrite, "Ok, I get that but she had a hell of a reputation, she had been through most of my friends so who was I to know she was fucking as well. I never knew all that before this turned up."

"I know, it's a bit of a problem when you discover out of the blue you have a load. She was certainly doing the rounds before she met you. I Don't think you two would ever have been a success, that's why I put her off and to tell you the truth I was pissed off with you over it."

"Maybe if you had contacted me.... Anyway, I can laugh about it now, she is probably with a better guy than me. whatever, I really think I dodged a bullet there." Adrian chuckled and thought for a second before distracting James from the subject.

"I tell you what, you can't exactly exact your revenge on Nicola. Not the gentlemanly thing to do, if it was a guy, you could beat him up in a dark alley, or better still challenge him to a duel. I could be your second."

James laughed, "For Nicola, it would have to be feather dusters at 50 yards. What if I had lost anyway."

"I would bet on you losing bro, so I would win each way."

"Seriously though, cuckold or not cuckold you would have to be an imbecile to compound the problem and risk going to jail over it. I have better things to do. Much more satisfying would be in 10 years' time letting Emma despair for the life she could have had."

"Fuck me, you're a dreamer, me old mate, but you'll be right. I'm sure of that. Just remember, like me you dodged a bullet."

Adrian gave James a lift back to his mother's since he had arrived with Cyn. The suggestion of going surfing gave him the first sense of joy since this sorry episode had begun. It would be part of his new future he was going forward with. That afternoon he returned to his house to collect some things. He decided for the time being he would move back into his parents' home. His family were his closest support; they would always be there for him.

He thought about Adrian and Gabrielle. Maybe he should have contacted Adrian about the call, neither of them was perfect. It was all so long ago and they were much younger and he was just as guilty for harbouring his own prejudice against Gabrielle over her reputation. He was not going to hold it against Adrian; he badly needed a friend right now.

He spent the rest of the afternoon on his laptop researching wind and kite surfing and everything in between. He was starting to feel less emotional about Emma. He was not one for tears although he felt the weight of the stress in his heart, he had had the ability to stoically compartmentalise the unpleasant finding distractions to fill his mind. The waves of dread and nausea were past. James' natural resilience and optimism was kicking in; he was going to be alright.

*****

WHAT ELISE THOUGHT

The next day James and Cyn went to visit Elise. Elise answered the door but on seeing who it was tried to slam it in their faces but it was held open by someone standing behind her. Elise stomped off into the apartment and Elise's sister Chloe introduced herself.

"I am sorry Elise is nuts about all this; she will not talk to you. It's enough to say she hates them both. She told me that she warned you months ago and you did nothing, so you can go to hell."

"What! She hardly warned me. She made some oblique remark about her being jealous of me. I was as much in the dark as she was."

Chloe leaned forward and whispered. "Sorry, maybe you are right. She is not herself at the moment. She is suicidal. We are taking turns to be with her in case she does something completely stupid."

James introduced Cynthia and himself and then explained, "We only want some information on how we might contact Emma. We think she has gone to Sydney."

"That's about all we know. She apparently had this booked months ago. Elise was totally blindsided. She hadn't a clue until that bitch arrived here Friday and grabbed her things. Most of her stuff is still here."

"So, she will come back for it."

"No," she said Elise could have it. We have already dumped it."

"Did she leave her mobile? There may be some clues in that."

"Yes, she left it but it was locked. Elise smashed it and it went with the rest of her stuff."

"Was Emma with her?"

"I think she was in the car."

"Car? What did she do with that?"

"No idea."

James asked a question about what had been bugging him, "Chloe, Nicola has been acting strangely with her staff, bullying them and so on. Also, when I caught them, I found it strange what they were actually doing. Is Nicola some sort of sadist?"

Chloe was surprised at the question, "Oh my god no, she is a bit of a dom, although she does go over the top sometimes."

"Over the top? Like what?"

"Nothing serious, not canes or anything."

"So, she is a dom and Emma is a sub then."

"Well, if you have seen them at it, you will know." Chloe was getting annoyed.

"What about Elise?"

"No way, perhaps that was the problem between her and Nic."

It looked to James like Chloe wanted the conversation to end as she was preparing to close the door. As a parting question James asked Chloe if Nicola had recently been in touch with her father. It was a long shot and Chloe left to talk to Elise and came back and replied not to Elise's knowledge. But apparently, they still contacted each other from time to time. Chloe also said that she was not aware of Nic knowing anyone in Sydney so there is a possibility that they had only stopped off there and were planning to move on.

Chloe then closed the door on them so Cyn and James returned home. James rang Teri in Auckland who was shocked and said she had not been contacted when Emma passed through Auckland.

Emma's parents were also totally in the dark. Talking to her parents James had difficulty in holding himself together. They were also upset but James could not bring himself to have a coherent conversation. They promised to keep in touch with James. They were going to hunt her down wherever she was and they would get back to James.

James did not have the heart to tell them he did not want to know but the call was the beginning of several he would have with them filling in the details. The call triggered James into a wave of sobbing. It was the first time he cried like that; it surprised him as he thought he had gotten over the grief. But the grief would occasionally come back to him for over a month before he could be totally dispassionate when talking about her.

Monday, he went to work believing he had to keep his mind occupied. He was contacted by Antonia Begg and on her advice, he sorted finances and other personal joint concerns. He had an appointment with Antonia for Wednesday. The rest of the day was spent setting up the office in Nicola's old room. He met with the finance branch staff as a group and arranged that he would meet them in the office one by one the next day.

Doing that on Tuesday was a revelation to James. Some burst into tears when explaining Nicolas' bullying. It seemed she had the entire department stressed out. She had a tendency to gaslight certain staff and even the most experienced were not immune. They all expressed relief to have James on board. It had also gone around the office that she had left with Emma and James was taken aback that it came as no surprise. James was also surprised that Emma had earned the moniker of Nicolas work wife. Maybe Nicola and Emma thought that they were discrete but obviously not discrete enough. The staff universally expressed their condolences as though Emma had died and in a way she had. No one had any idea about where they went.

And nor did Emma's colleagues, when James visited them. Emma left without a contact. Her immediate principal, Phillip, asked James for any contact details he was able to find, to pass them on because they had promised her a reference. Likewise, they said if Emma contacted them and if she agreed they would pass on any details. They had contacts in Sydney and could help her if that was where she had gone. James thanked them for that. He explained that Nicola had some hold over her and she would need some form of independence.

*****

On Wednesday a mysterious email arrived at James's work address. It had no message and had a simple 'M' in the subject line. James assumed it was Emma and tried to reply on the address but he was blocked. James sent it to Adrian and Antonia and voila, a breakthrough as they were not blocked. The process of divorce began. Communication from then on would be only through Antonia. There was to be no contact again between Emma and James. As far as James was concerned that part of his life no longer existed.

WHAT JAMES' PARENTS THOUGHT

A few weeks on James was now curiously calm and emotionally stable. A final conversation he had with his parents helped draw the line under the marriage. They met under the soft lights of his mother's favourite Italian Restaurant, 'the Queen of Gnocchi.' They sat in a discreet booth as a waitress in jeans and of obvious Italian descent hovered about looking after them. The restaurant was famous for its Gnocchi dishes and they shared and ate their selections with a bottle of chianti. Finishing with tiramisu and a glass of limoncello James raised his glass and announced the topic he wanted to discuss with them.

"It was plainly obvious from what Cyn told me she never really liked Emma and inferred she saw this coming. This was news to me, I thought everyone was ok with her. What did you guys really make of us? And what did you make of Nicola?"

His father spoke first, "I really blame Nicola for all this. I am disgusted to tell you the truth. Nicola did this to the whole family, not just you. She stabbed us all in the back. To think we had her as part of the family for two years. I never would have seen anything like this coming."

James' mother, Patricia chipped in," I truly liked Emma, she could be a little frivolous at times but that made her fun to be with.

I think she was probably not really ready for marriage. There was that and as an only child she was probably used to getting things her own way. "

James ventured," but her father was pretty domineering, I think. She also had a boyfriend who was a bit of a thug. Her parents sent her to Wellington to get away from him and his friends."

Patricia picked up on the point, "well maybe you were not domineering enough for her. She wanted somebody who would take charge of her. I imagine she would want you to be her superior, as long as you gave her everything she needed. She really did not want you as an equal."

"True, but that would not be my style. It's not even my leadership style at work; I like to collaborate. We thrive on a team ethic. The secret is respecting the best people you need and they will respect you."

Jame's mothers' response surprised him, initially sounding cynical, "James you need to apply that to your private life as well. Hopefully you will learn that from your recent experience. Had you really respected her?"

James' father concurred, "I agree and while I think of it, mixing your private life too much with your business can come with risks. Be wary as your private life in this case clouded your judgment, I Think."

His mother brought the subject to James' neglect of her, "The crux of the problem was you lacked undivided time for her. You could have given more of your time, surely."

"She still had our family; you all supported her."

"But James, she was a newly married wife, she was not used to a big family. What we did was foreign to her. In the beginning she wanted our world of classical music and tramping. She wanted it because she was in love with you, but it wasn't her."

"In love with me, really?"

"Of course she was, don't you believe otherwise. You say you needed support, so did she. Yours was noble enterprise, hers was an emotional need. She didn't want to disappoint you and didn't know what to say. In the end she sought solace from Nicola and wound up disappointing you in the worst possible way."

Then James' father made a telling remark, "You know you don't always have to trust people, just respect them without micromanaging them. And be wary, always wary. but do it kindly."

James pondered on this pearl, 'Was he just talking about business.?"

Patricia made an observation about trust that surprised James and his father. "You realise James that fundamentally I don't think Emma ever trusted you."

"Me? Why on earth not."

"Obviously she was submissive and being like that needed to constantly to be cared for and to feel safe. In her home life she needed direction. She was not getting that from you. Nicola knew this but you were too naive to see it."

"Don't you mean she was needy."

"If you want to put it that way, yes."

James' father returned to Nicola, "Do you think that's how Nicola got a hold on her?"

"That seems likely. If what Mum says is correct, she just saw in Nicola the boss I wasn't."

"What do you think Nicolas' motives were?"

"Jealousy, I think, going on the remarks of her partner Elise. An obsessive jealousy."

"She certainly seemed to know our family, or thought she did. I think she was being too clever for her own boots by her actions." He continued," I actually discussed her with your boss Ken, I saw her as domineering, calculating, and overconfident in her abilities. She operated on faulty intuition. She had no moral compass, obviously. She would have to have some modicum of ethics and integrity to operate within a firm like Cuthberts. She never understood that."

"Well, she certainly captured Emma with her attitude."

Patricia returned to the conversation, "Actually I think Emma would have a lot to learn before she could be a stable partner, and perhaps she never would. I think you should just forget your married life and establish a new life for yourself. Just learn from it. You need someone who is intelligent, and someone who knows what they want and need from you. Above all you need to be an equal with her."

"Well, I guess that's it; I need a brand-new life for myself. Now that I am a single guy, I get to indulge myself in some interests. I've linked up with Adrian again and he was always good for some wild time. We'll see."

Patricia had the final word, "I think these days it is too easy for professional partners to break up. Two good incomes and resources outside the marriage; only one or two children, if that. You don't necessarily need one another for anything. It is too easy to think only of yourself and seek solace outside the marriage. It relies on commitment to weather those bad patches in life. If the spouse needs support, it can be seen as a burden rather than a duty of love to see them through. You make sure your next partner understands this. And you make sure you are there to help them through the difficult patches. That was Emma's problem. She never understood that."

*******

WHAT JAMES CONCLUDED

Then began the process of dismantling Emma's life with James, one that was cathartic for him rather than distressing. She had left nearly everything behind and the message through the lawyers was she wanted none of it, including nothing from the financials. It puzzled James. It was as though she had joined some cult. He simply gathered everything and under arrangement shipped it to Auckland for her parents to put into storage. Piece by piece he disassembled their lives. Sold her car and split the finances with her share going into a trust to be administered by her parents. Whatever she says now she may need in the future, they all agreed.

James pondered on all the words he had wanted to say to her; remind her that all the good times they had all gone to nought. He still loved her but equally he now hated her. These thoughts were now packaged up and consigned to the back of his mind for ever. He accepted that despite his easy connection with staff and colleagues and his willingness to listen and work with people he still was not a wholly sensitive man. He valued honesty and hard work and that was instilled by his parents. But honesty was not enough if there was a lack of communication to express it.

He determined that he would take and exercise these lessons for the future

Of their photos and videos James kept a small sample but he stored them rather than kept them for mementos, except for one photograph taken after they were engaged of the both looking happy and carefree on some sunny outing.

It was closure and at the end of it, James felt at peace. Emma's life with him evaporated as though she had never existed except in memory. Erasing herself from their relationship seemed to be Emma's way of tackling their problem. James had no choice but to do the same and move on. In effect Emma solved her problem running. James solved his problem by not pursuing her.

Thus began James' self-imposed celibacy. It was not a conscious decision, it was just he wanted a period on his own to redefine himself, indulge in personal activities and interests free of opinions by others. Sex came via the giant smart screen in his bedroom. Occasionally he would just lie and night and fantasize, usually the subject would be Emma, often Nicola and occasionally both. His hand kept him satisfied and it got him asleep at night. He even began dreaming about sex with them, waking with his morning wood. He tried using AI to create pornographic short videos of Emma and Nicola but the bodies were never quite right and the idea made him feel queasy. It was much better to fantasize imagining the tactile and the aroma, all states that AI could not give.

It was not a sad loneliness, he still had his friends but he cherished the long solo walks, the reading, and the evenings exploring new music without the obligation to share. Eventually he would ease himself into a more social being but it would be a new James with different opinions and interests to offer companionship. He missed having someone to sleep with, waking up in the morning spooning and cuddling. He missed the aroma and warmth of a woman and it would be inevitable in time that he would invite a woman to sleep with him but beyond the sex there was no desire for an ongoing intimate relationship.

What was inevitable was that Emma would no longer be his wife; he imagined in moments of malice that she and Nicola were on a long spiral downwards wherever they were. They were out of his life now but James still had a feeling that sometime in the future she would resurface.

*****

Two years on and the divorce was final. On top of that Adrian had married Cyn. James remembered that he had been in a bar one night with Adrian just after his first date with Cyn. Adrian had one too many and slurring described how he went to a recital she was giving with her string quartet. It was an Avant Garde recital with the quartet accompanied by some electro funk musicians. "That sister of yours can play that Cello like a demon," exclaimed Adrian. "I always thought the girls in your family were prim and proper but when I saw that Cello between her legs and what she was doing with it, I wanted to be that Cello." That comment caused James to spray his beer over Adrian.

"Fucking hell Adrian, Thats my sister you are talking about."

"You know me James, I will always give it to you straight."

"In all seriousness bro, I do know you and I am just saying, don't do anything to hurt Cyn."

Adrian went quiet, "James, your little sister has hit me like a ton of bricks. Look, we have been dating, what three weeks? I have never felt anything for a woman that I am feeling for her. I can't stop thinking about her. For the first time I feel I am ready to settle down. Whatever happens I would never hurt her. I only hope she thinks the same about me."

"I tell you what Ad, I think she does."

And Cyn and Adrian were married with James as best man.

******

The two years had passed and the divorce was finalised. James and Adrian were back as best buddies. True to promise Adrian had got back into surfing progressed to surf foiling and on to wing surfing.

On land he had been biking the bush and mountain tracks with family friends. In all it had been a hectic social life just as he needed. However, he was not dating anybody.

James was sitting with Adrian in the sand on a beach after an afternoon's windsurfing. It had been an idyllic day, the wind had now dropped, but the surf had held up and the pair were contemplating taking their boards out. The sun was low behind them casting a muted orange light courtesy of some smoky bush fire somewhere. The evening chill had yet to set in so they were sitting with their wetsuits half-mast watching a young sealion enjoying the surf, on its back, waving a flipper for them.

James could not be more relaxed and happier by the sea after such an excellent day. In this environment he could now easily talk about the things that would have upset him in the past.

Adrian decided that James had become a philophobe.

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm just not desperate. If the right opportunity came up......"

Adrian chipped in, "Yeah right, I've seen a few opportunities come and go. How do you feel about Emma now?"

"I've got over all that grief shit but I still feel some affection for her, I worry about her sometimes. I genuinely hope she has found happiness with Nicola. Despite everything, I think I was not for her and she deserves to be happy with someone who can look after her in the way that she needs. It's just not me, that's all."

Adrian felt a pang of sorrow for his friend, "And you, you deserve happiness too. Whatever you say; I think you still carry a torch for her. She's not coming back and I think it is wishful thinking that she might be happier with Nicola. You should put more effort into some new female companionship, even if it is only temporary."

James admitted that he could not stand the pain of a break up again. He was suspicious of any women being social climbers or gold diggers and there were plenty around. He recalled Cyn's criticism of Emma as being the wrong type of woman for him but he had no idea what the right woman would be. His logical mind looked for logical answers. He just settled into a life of work and recreation.

He would run a mile from romance if it presented itself. He was a physical guy, fit and buff with what the gym and his recreational activities gave him. His air of confidence made him extremely attractive to women but none made headway and he found it embarrassing and awkward rebuffing their advances. Some assumed he was gay and he found himself having to let some gentleman down from time to time. The truth was that sexually he was privately flying solo with only his hand and his laptop could give him. A singularly colourless existence but it kept the frustration at bay. He developed defensively an outward persona of being formal but in reality, that was not him. He needed a woman who was funny, someone who could loosen him up and fill him with joy but his emotional armour was just too tough. In his mind he was fast consigning himself as a perpetual bachelor.

Emma was a victim of her impetuosity. Her friends saw Emma differently, we all see different things in our friends but like so many she sought instant pleasure and excitement. Is this not a disease of modern life where marriage brings together two people with careers and financial independence? The family does not rate as highly as it once did. But the rewards of pleasure and excitement do not come without a downside. Excitement loses its edge when it becomes mundane and pleasure becomes ennui. It is hard for partners in life to maintain a connection when pleasure and excitement are pulling us individually one way or another.

Then there is the greater good. Emma never looked for that. A higher satisfaction. She was never going to find that with Nicola who had no sense of the greater good. Emma hitched her wagon to someone who between them was only ever going to spiral downwards. James had no need for revenge; they would create their own revenge on themselves.

There was an unexpected blessing in her sudden disappearance. All those unanswered questions that James mulled over, the explanation of why, were never going to be resolved. Grieving was short lived; there would be no gravestone to talk to, weep or be maudlin over. James was simply forced to draw a line under it all. His anger at them both was short lived and he held no lingering animosity, just a profound sadness. He would never understand how Nicola would betray his and his family's trust. All he could do was wonder at that. But for Emma, especially, he retained the guilt of not being there for his young wife once they were married. They were so in love but he could not be there to protect her. He now believed that they should have never married.

There was nothing gained by James's pursuing Emma. What would he learn from all the effort? The betrayal was so great, on so may planes, that reconciliation would be impossible. Better to move on in life. Besides he had a greater good, something to aspire to, something to give a deeper meaning, satisfaction, deeper excitement and a pleasure in achievement. For what anyone thought of Emma, for James she would have only been a burden. Now he was free to pursue a dream that would bring so many people with him, it just would not include Emma.

*******