The Pretend Friend Ch. 12

JULY 19, 2014

I couldn't leave the bed. It was well past midnight by now, but I didn't know how much time had passed.

James had fallen asleep just moments after rolling off of me, giving me the chance to run, but there was no point in running anymore.

He had taken what he wanted, and I had been too weak, too powerless to stop him. The shame of that, deep and heavy, settled in my chest, weighing me down like he had.

Beside me, he shifted on the bed, and my body froze up again. Fresh tears pushed through my eyes, and I tightened my lips to silence my sobs.

Heavy footsteps moved down the hallway and grew closer to the door. Panic kicked in, and I finally moved. Pushing myself up, I didn't have time to pull my shorts up, and I barely got the blanket over my legs when the door pushed open.

"It's getting late. Why --" Daniel stopped at the threshold, his eyes flickering between his passed-out son and my teary face.

My breaths grew fast as I stared at him, unable to look away, but heat filled my body. I began to tremble.

Daniel let go of the doorknob, and for the first time, I saw him lose his composure. His face twisted with rage, and he stomped towards the bed. I flinched back against the headboard and threw my arms up to shield my face, crying out, and then I felt James's groggy voice.

"Dad, wh --"

I was prepared for rough hands to grab me, but instead, James' voice grew in alarm, and then the bed shook violently as he was jerked off the bed.

My arms fell down just in time to see Daniel shove James against the wall and pin him there with his arm.

"What the hell did you do to her?" he growled.

"Nothing! Dad, I --" James glanced over at me, his eyes wide with horror. "She -- she wanted it!"

Daniel slammed him against the wall again, and James groaned. "Look at her face." James didn't, and his dad pressed down on his chest. "Look at her!"

James snapped his eyes back to me for a brief second before he dropped his gaze. I gripped the blanket tightly.

"Does that look like someone who wanted it?" Daniel seethed.

"Dad, please --"

"What's going on?"

They both froze.

Grace stepped into the room, and her eyes widened as soon as they landed on me. She turned to her family, and then it was as if all of the light in her eyes vanished once she realized what had happened.

James' face fell. "Mom, I --"

She crossed the room over to me, and I pulled the blanket tighter to my body. Grace didn't sit on the bed but knelt on the floor beside it.

"Get him out of here," she said emptily without breaking her gaze away from mine. No longer able to hold it, I lowered mine to my lap.

"Mom, I didn't -- I'm sorry," James pleaded.

There was the sound of struggling, and he continued to beg for his mom to look at him. After a while, his pleads left the room, and the door shut after them.

"Jess." Her voice was quiet and calm in the aftermath of all the chaos before, but I couldn't look up. "I'm so sorry." The calm fell away as her voice broke. "I'm so sorry he hurt you."

I fiddled with the blanket, which was the only barrier I had to protect myself.

"We'll go to the police tomorrow morning," she whispered, and I could hear the devastation in her voice.

Grace was supposed to be the light in her family. She made everything good. All Charlotte ever talked about was how happy and loving her mom was, and now...

"I don't want Charlotte to know." My voice came out hoarse and all wrong. I couldn't recognize it.

"Jess, my son hurt you."

I flinched.

"No mother brings a child into the world with the belief that they could be capable of violence. I never thought James would ever hurt anyone, but he --" Her voice strained, and I knew without looking that she was crying. "I love my children with all of my heart. I would do anything for them, but I did not raise them to hurt people. James has to take consequences for his actions."

I finally looked up to meet Grace's teary eyes. Everything was so wrong. I never should have left Charlotte's room. I should have stayed.

If I hadn't left, James would have never been able to hurt me. Daniel wouldn't be angry. Grace wouldn't be crying. I wouldn't be scared.

If I hadn't left, I would be cuddled up next to Charlotte. I would have woken up with the sun shining on my face through the window. I would have felt the tickle of Charlotte's hair against my skin. I would still have been happy and innocent and young.

I imagined Charlotte's face if she found out. The hurt and anger and guilt. She would never be able to forgive herself. Every bit of light in her would die just like it did with Grace.

"Please don't tell Charlotte," I pleaded softly. "I'll be okay. I just... if Charlotte is happy, then I'll be okay."

Grace's expression crumpled, and she dropped her face into her hands. "Jess, I can't do that."

Swallowing tightly, I shifted closer to Grace. "If you love her, you will."

She raised her face out of her hands.

"I don't want to go to the police," I said as firmly as I could, but my voice still didn't feel strong. I no longer felt strong, but I was at least certain about Charlotte. I always was, and that would never change. "I never want Charlotte to know what happened, and if you love her as much as I do, then you will help me keep her happy."

Grace wavered, and I reached out to settle my hand on top of hers. My skin felt like it was searing, but I didn't pull back.

"Please," I whispered one last time, and when her head fell forward to cry into our hands, I knew I had convinced her.

Still, I felt so hollow, and I knew I would never be the same again.

-----------------

NOVEMBER 2024

Feeling James' body on top of mine again was like being tossed back into the ocean and held down. I kicked and screamed, but the pressure never left. It grew, intensifying and snuffing out all of the air from my lungs.

"Jess, calm down!"

Rough hands wrapped around my wrists, and I kicked out, hitting bone. His cursing filled my ears, and instincts drove my knee forward and landed it.

"Fuck!" he screamed.

His hands left me, and I heard him hit the floor with a thud. Blinking through the dark, I backed up, and my hands shot out to grasp for anything. Metal slid between my fingers, and I gripped the railing tightly, using it as a guide to put as much distance between him and I as possible.

"That fucking hurt, Jess."

There was some more sounds of movement from him, and panic seized me. Was he getting up again? My body tightened, ready to fight him off.

"Fine. I deserved that," he groaned a moment later.

Still, I waited, but he didn't move closer.

Then, there was a loud beep before static crackled to life, and a deep voice filled the space.

"Hello, I'm Eric. I work in maintenance. Is everyone alright in there?"

There should have been relief, but I felt nothing but the sharp pang of fear. It was still dark, and the doors were still shut.

I was still locked in here with him.

"Yeah," he answered when I didn't. "I think."

"It should be a couple of minutes before we get the lights back on for y'all. How many people are in there?"

"It's just the two of us."

"Alrighty then. Just press the red button if you need to contact us. We'll get you out of there as soon as we can."

The intercom switched off, and silence fell over us again. I held in my breath, not wanting him to hear where I was. I didn't dare move.

"Jess, I --"

Suddenly, a whirring sound started up, and the lights flickered on right after. I felt my face pale as soon our eyes met. He was sitting against the wall across from me, a knee propped up to his chest. There was a cut under his eye where I had probably struck him. I couldn't read the expression on his face at all.

"Don't come near me," I immediately said when he shifted.

"I won't," he replied, but I wasn't reassured at all. He held up his palms. "I'm not going to hurt you again."

"I'll fucking drop you if you move."

He grimaced. "Yeah, I don't doubt that."

Outside the elevators, there were some loud grinding noises and shouting. At the same time, my phone, face-down on the floor, began to vibrate loudly. I didn't dare move.

"Look, Jess --"

"Don't talk to me."

Sighing, he dropped his head. Keeping my eyes on him, I leaned against the wall to take some weight off of my legs. My body was still trembling, and I hated it. I hated that he could see how weak I was.

My phone stopped vibrating.

Eric's voice returned on the intercom. "Should be just a couple more minutes, folks. Hey, is there a, uh, Jess Silva in there?"

I straightened. "Yeah, that's me."

"Are you doing alright in there? You've got some concerned folks out here."

"I'm fine," I answered. "I --"

From the corner of my eye, I saw James' leg shift, and my eyes shot back to him in panic. "I told you not to move!"

"My leg fell asleep!" he exclaimed.

"I don't fucking care!"

"Jess, this is ridiculous! I'm not going to --"

"Hey, what's going on in there?" Eric interrupted.

"How much longer?" I said. "I can't fucking breathe in here!"

"Not much longer, ma'am. My team is working on it as fast as they can."

"Can I at least stand?" James asked.

"No!"

The intercom clicked off again.

His head fell back against the wall with a sigh. Letting go of the railing, I paced anxiously, my gaze flicking back to him often to make sure he didn't try anything.

My phone vibrated again.

"Look," James exhaled, and I shot him a sharp glare. "If I were to do anything, which I'm not, I wouldn't do it with that many people out there, so can you please just sit down or something? You're making me dizzy."

"You assaulted me with your family in the next room!" I snapped, and he flinched. "You really think I'm going to fall for that?"

"I'm not trying to trick you," he exasperated. "I just... look, I'm sorry, okay?"

I stopped pacing, steel entering my voice as I gritted, "You can shove that apology up your ass."

He threw his hands up in defeat.

A loud creaking came from the doors, and I looked up to see it being pulled open. At that moment, James stood up, and I shot back away from him. I stumbled over my foot, and his eyes widened. His hands shot out, and I held my arms up protectively. I barely felt his fingers graze my skin before my back hit the wall behind me, and I slid down to the ground.

"Don't touch her!"

My eyes snapped open at the sound of Charlotte's voice, just in time to see her yank her brother up and slam him against the elevator wall.

"What did you do to her?" Charlotte screamed.

James stared at her with wide eyes. "Nothing! We were just -- the elevator got stuck! Nothing happened, Charlotte!"

"Bullshit!" She slammed him against the wall again, and he winced.

Suddenly, Laura and Olivia rushed into the elevator amidst all of the shouting from behind them. Olivia stared at Charlotte in shock while Laura dropped down beside me and gathered me in her arms.

I looked at Charlotte, still, and called out for her.

Without letting him go, she turned to me with her eyes wild with anger and now, concern as it scanned my face. The pain in my chest began to lessen, and I released a small breath. "I'm okay. He's right. Nothing happened."

"But something did happen." Charlotte's face fell, and her eyes began to glisten with tears. "Vanessa, she came by the theater. She -- I know what happened at the cabin."

My heart stopped as all of my breath left me again. Beside me, Laura glanced up at Olivia. James stiffened, and Charlotte turned back to him, her fists still tight as she clenched his shirt.

"You hurt her," she said, and her voice cracked. "You were my other half, and I trusted you. You didn't just hurt her. You ripped out her innocence. You drove her away from the only home she had ever known, and you destroyed her. You went on living your life as if nothing happened while she spent years trying to put herself back together. I am disgusted to share the same blood as you. If Mom was still alive, she would be too. She would be ashamed of you."

James flinched at her last words, and as Charlotte released him and stepped away with disdain, he blinked rapidly as tears filled his eyes. No longer was he the monster who assaulted me that night. Now, he just looked like a boy who seemed lost and abandoned.

"I..." His eyes flickered to me and then back to his sister, and he dropped his gaze. "I'm sorry."

"I don't fucking care," Charlotte seethed. "I never want to see you again, and I never want to see you around Jess again, either. If I do, I'll take you for everything you have." Her tone lowered as her eyes darkened. "I don't care if we share the same blood. I'll kill you if you ever --"

"Charlotte," I pleaded, and she immediately turned to me. "Please stop. I'm okay."

Still, her eyes remained so cold, so violent.

"Jess says she's okay. Don't waste your energy on him," Olivia spoke, but her voice was too quiet. She didn't look at either of us. "She needs you, Charlotte."

Slowly, Charlotte let go of her brother's shirt, and as her eyes met mine again, her expression crumpled in anguish. She dropped down in front of me, but she didn't reach out. Instead, her hands remained tight-fisted on her knees.

James quickly wiped his eyes, and he headed for the door but stopped when Olivia stepped in his path.

I felt Laura's arms tense around me.

"Olivia," she warned.

Thick silence began to suffocate us, but a moment later, Olivia stepped aside, and with one final glance towards his sister, James walked out.

Charlotte dropped her face into her hands.

"I'm sorry," she exhaled through shallow breath. "God, Jess, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Charlotte. I--"

"No, it's not okay!" Shaking her head, she looked at me again, her tears finally falling. "Nothing about this is okay."

Eric's voice came from outside the elevators this time, interrupting, "Hey, I hate to break this up, but we need everyone to vacate the elevator."

"Come on," Laura murmured. "You guys should talk outside. Olivia and I can finish checking out."

"But your wallet, it --"

She shook her head with a grimace. "I'll explain later."

Charlotte stood up, and I tried to get her to meet my gaze but she wouldn't. She backed away, and Laura helped me up.

"Thank you ladies," Eric said when we stepped out. He turned his kind gaze to me. "Jess Silva, I presume? Are you okay? Limbs and motor functions working fine?"

Confused, I merely nodded, and he glanced over at Charlotte with an amused smile. "Okay. Just checking. You know, doing the job the hotel pays me to do."

Charlotte crossed her arms and headed for the hotel doors.

"You got a hell of a friend there," he said.

I mumbled a quick thanks and then followed Charlotte outside before she could escape. She didn't, though.

Charlotte stood outside, waiting, with her arms still crossed and her gaze on the ground.

I attempted to lighten the mood. "For someone who got scolded, Eric looked kinda impressed by you." She didn't answer, and I sighed. "Charlotte, please."

"Did my mom know?"

Swallowing tightly, I answered, "No."

Hurt flashed across her face, and she stepped away. "Why do you keep lying to me? I already know everything, Jess!"

"Vanessa doesn't know a thing about --"

"My dad told me everything, not Vanessa," she interrupted, and I froze. "All Vanessa showed me was the NDA between you and him, and I felt so stupid this whole time not knowing that Noah is --" She cut herself off and squeezed her eyes shut. "She thought that you intentionally seduced my brother to get yourself pregnant, so you could blackmail my dad."

I staggered back in shock, my chest squeezing tightly. I searched Charlotte's face, and when she opened her eyes again, there was no trace of anger left. She looked just as exhausted as she did last night.

"Of course, I knew you would never do something like that. It isn't you," Charlotte continued, her voice quieter now. "Then I thought about how you had that panic attack in my office back in July. You were so scared of me, Jess. I didn't understand why, but it started to click. Noah, the panic attack, that scar on your wrist. I confronted my dad, and he finally confirmed everything. Well, everything except my mom knowing. He lied about that too, but you're not as great as a liar as he is."

There was so much pain in her face. This was my fear ten years ago. It was why I had asked Grace to help me conceal the truth from her daughter even though I knew it would break her to do it.

"I never wanted you to know," I said. "I asked your mom to not tell you anything. She wanted to go to the police, but I convinced her not to."

"Why?" Charlotte's voice cracked.

Stumbling forward, I grasped her hands, and she stiffened. "I wanted to protect you. They were your family, Charlotte, and I didn't want to take them away from you."

Tears falling, she pulled away, and my heart fell.

"You are a part of my family, Jess!" she cried. "I didn't need your protection. I didn't need you to do anything else but to be by my side!"

"Then let me be there now," I pleaded, but she was already shaking her head. "I know I shouldn't have kept it from you, but what was I supposed to do? I didn't feel like myself anymore after what happened. Nothing felt the same, and if you changed too, I wouldn't have been able to handle it."

My heart was ripping at the seams the longer she kept looking at me as if nothing could be fixed between us. Everything was falling apart, and I couldn't seem to put it back together again.

Charlotte exhaled shakily and shook her head. "I didn't leave because I was still hurt that you left. I left because for as long as we're together, you'll never put yourself first. You give too much of yourself, and for Noah, I understand. He's your son. But I am just somebody you fell in love with."

"You are not just somebody," I snapped. "You are my family. Same as Noah. Same as everyone else in my life. I give my all to everyone I love. You're not the exception, and you can't tell me how I should love you. You can't leave me because of that either. It's not fair."

"Yeah, well," Sniffling, she wiped her tears. "I don't want you to love me."

"I will never not love you, Charlotte."

"You will one day. You'll find someone else, someone better to love."

"Is that what you'll do? Find someone better to love?" I countered and held my breath for her answer.

Instead of answering, she looked away.

"No one will ever be better than you," I said. "You're it for me, Charlotte. The end of the line. If you leave me now, I'll be alone forever."

"Don't be dramatic," she mumbled.

Hopeful, I stepped forward. "I'm not. I'm serious. Without you, I'll never love again. I'll never kiss or sleep with another person again. I'll be a fucking celibate for life."

The corner of her lips twitched just barely, but it was enough. I closed the gap between us and pulled her into my arms, and Charlotte didn't pull away. Her breath was warm against my neck, and holding her now, everything felt right again.

"You make me happy," I whispered.

Charlotte's hand rubbed my back, and I sank into the feeling. "It might not seem like it now, but you'll find that happiness again."

I stiffened at her words. Slowly, she pulled back, and the smile on her lips was too sad, too much of a goodbye. My throat closed up.

"I'm sorry, Jess," she whispered, and her face grew blurry as tears rapidly filled my eyes and fell.

She was leaving for good this time. Even after knowing everything, she was still leaving.

Charlotte pressed a kiss to my cheek, and my eyes fluttered closed. Her lips were gone before I could save the memory of it, and then her arms fell away from me.

I didn't open my eyes even as her footsteps faded away. I didn't do anything but stood there and cried.

-----------------

"For fuck's sakes," Laura cursed as she paced back and forth, her phone pressed firmly to her ear. "Where the hell is she?"

I sat on the steps outside the hotel, watching her blankly. My chest felt hollowed out, and I was pretty sure I had emptied out my reserve of tears.

Then Laura let out another loud, "fuck!" and collapsed beside me. She dropped her face into her hands, breathing heavily. To everyone who walked past us, we must have looked pathetic.

I sure felt pathetic.

Then my phone vibrated, and I glanced down at it. When I saw Olivia's name, I passed it over to Laura, who perked up.

She cursed violently again once she read the message.

So now we were both pathetic fools whose girlfriends left us.

Laura jumped up to her feet and began calling Olivia again but from my phone this time. As she continued to pace and curse, I couldn't bring myself to feel anything.

There was only emptiness now that Charlotte was gone.

--------------

Two days passed, and I still hadn't left Atlanta. Instead, I was holed up in my old room in Maeve's home. Laura tried to get me to go back home to Savannah, but I couldn't find the will to.

A part of me still hung onto the hope that Charlotte might change her mind and come back looking for me. Another part of me was afraid to face Noah. If Charlotte didn't come back, then I would have to break the news to him. I was dreading that the most.

Laura, however, had given up all hope on Olivia and had stopped calling her too. Before I got stuck in the elevator with James, she and Olivia had concocted a plan to get Charlotte to the hotel because I was "in trouble" and lock us in the room together to talk. The wallet had all been a ruse to get me into the room.

They hadn't expected there to be an actual emergency, and when Charlotte arrived seconds after the elevator broke down, apparently, she had been a terror as she rushed the maintenance crew to get the doors open.

None of them knew that James had been in there with me. Not until the elevator doors opened, and Charlotte had lost it then and there.

After telling me all of this, Laura stopped talking about Olivia entirely. She was acting as if Olivia had never existed at all, and I actually envied her ability to do that.

There was a knock on the door, and I quickly ducked under my blankets just before the door creaked open. I held in my breath and tried to keep as still as possible.

"Jess, I know you're awake," Laura said amusedly. "No one is that quiet when they sleep."

"You don't know that," I couldn't help but respond.

"And I stand corrected."

The bed shifted as she sat down, but I remained under the blanket.

"You planning on staying here forever?" she asked. "Should I pack your bags and bring them here?"

"Leave me alone."

She sighed. "You can't hide here forever. Remember Noah? Your son who's waiting for you at home?"

I pushed the blanket off of me with a huff and glared at her. "I haven't forgotten I have a son, Laura."

"Hm. Doesn't seem like it."

"The person I've loved since I was sixteen just walked out of my life, so yeah, I'm going to be more than upset about it," I snapped bitterly. "It's not like you and Olivia, who you've known for a mere two seconds before she left."

Laura's expression darkened, but I was too angry and hurt to care.

"I know how important she is to you, so I'm going to let that one slide," Laura said lowly. "But you keep hiding out here, and your son is going to start thinking you won't come back. That's a trauma that no kid should ever feel, and I think you know that better than anyone."

I continued to glare at her, but it lacked intensity now. Her words coiled inside my chest uncomfortably.

Laura stood up and leveled her gaze with mine. "She's not coming back. You did as much as you could. You fought for her, and she still left despite of it. You're too good for her, Jess. She knew that, and one day, after all of this passes, you'll see that too."

She was right, but I wasn't ready to admit it to her face.

Turning my back to her, I pulled the blanket back over my head, and Laura blew out a frustrated breath. A moment later, she stomped out of the room and slammed the door shut.

Burying my face in the pillow, I inhaled deeply, but the scent of Charlotte's perfume was gone. It had faded without me knowing, and now I would never be able to get it back.

One more day. I just wanted to wallow in my self-pity for one more day before I walked away for good.

As I began to fall back asleep, the door bursted open, and I jerked awake.

Lifting the blanket off of me, I was met with Laura's bewildered face. I quickly sat up.

"Maeve's arguing with someone outside," she panted.

"What?"

"Outside." She swallowed a breath. "She slapped him."

Without another word, I swung my legs off the bed and rushed out of the room with her. The front door was thrown open, and as I got closer, I heard Maeve's shouting.

The moment I stepped outside, my entire body seized up when my eyes landed on Daniel Simmons, Charlotte's dad.

Maeve was standing in front of him in the driveway, her back turned to me, as she berated him loudly. Taller than Maeve by several feet, he towered over her, but she didn't seem deterred at all. He stood there silently as he took in all of her curses.

Silver streaked his brown, unkempt hair, and deep lines marked his face around the eyes and forehead. Over the years, his face had grown harder, rougher even. A thin layer of dark, scruffy facial hair covered his jaw and the areas around his mouth.

Charlotte's dad seemed different. Less cold, maybe, but definitely worn down by the years after losing his wife. Grace had been his light, and now that she was gone, he had lost her light too.

As if sensing my presence, his eyes flicked up over Maeve's shoulder, and I tensed up. Back then, I had never been able to tell what sort of person he was. Was he good, or was he bad? I always thought it had to be one or the other, and after all of his threats, I shelved him in the bad category. I hated him, and a huge part of me still did.

But standing here now, seeing and recognizing the look of regret in his heavy gaze, I decided he wasn't either or. Daniel Simmons was a deeply flawed man, who, like James had said, would burn the world for his wife. I knew now that it extended to his family too, and in his eyes, I had been a threat to his family's happiness.

Maeve followed his gaze, and her eyes widened when she saw me.

It turned out that before I told her what happened ten years ago, she already had an inkling of the truth from Charlotte the night before. Like Charlotte, who hadn't known for certain what happened until she confronted her dad, Maeve only had her suspicions. Then I arrived in Atlanta and told her everything, and she listened. She tried to get me to talk to Charlotte, but I didn't listen.

And now everything was ruined.

"Is that who I think it is?" Laura asked quietly, and I caught the tinge of anger in her voice.

"I'm gonna go talk to him," I said, stepping forward.

Only to be stopped by Laura, who grabbed my hand. I half-turned, but she didn't let go.

"He doesn't deserve another second of your life, Jess. He can try to take everything you have, but he won't get it," she said vehemently. "I'll make sure he doesn't."

Emotion swelled up in my chest, and I pulled her into a fierce hug. Laura let out a surprised breath, and I hugged her even tighter.

"Thank you for being here," I whispered. "And I'm sorry for being a bitch earlier."

She let out a breathy laugh and relaxed in my embrace. "Yeah, well, you deal with me on the regular, so I figured I'll take up the mantle for a bit and let you bitch this time."

I laughed softly. "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah. I love you too, Silva."

Pulling away, we smiled at each other, and I glanced back at Daniel. He had his hands shoved in his pockets now, but he was still looking at me, waiting. Maeve was walking away from him, her face fixed in rage.

"Go back inside, Jess," she said as soon as she reached us. "I'll be damn if I let him say another word to you."

I set a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm down her anger. "Maeve, I want to talk to him." Scowling, she opened her mouth, but I shook my head. "Please let me do this."

Maeve looked over at Laura, who threw her hands up defensively. "I tried to talk her out of it, but you know her. She's stubborn when she wants to be."

Squeezing her shoulders, I smiled gently. "I'll be fine, Maeve. I promise."

She huffed out an angry breath and glanced back at Daniel. "If he as so much whispers a threat, you just give us the signal, and I'll show him my fist instead of my palm next time."

I grimaced. "I don't think it will come to that."

Laura slung an arm around Maeve's shoulders and gave me a wink. "You just let us know, Jess. We got you."

Just because of Maeve's presence, I refrained from rolling my eyes and merely nodded instead. Then I turned around and made my way down the driveway.

Daniel slid his hands out of his pocket when I got closer, and I kept a good gap between us when I stopped.

"Do I even want to ask how you knew I was here?"

Instead of answering, Daniel took a couple steps back and opened his car door. Crossing my arms, I watched as he grabbed a manilla folder out of the car and then held it out for me to take.

I didn't grab it. "What's this?"

His eyes didn't tear away from mine as he answered, "It's our nondisclosure agreement."

Just like that, ice filled my veins, and I yanked the folder out of his hands and tossed it aside.

"You have a lot of fucking nerve," I seethed, stepping closer.

He didn't so much as flinch. The sixteen year-old Jess would have been terrified, but I was no longer that scared, naive girl. Now, I was exhausted and hurt and really, really pissed.

Laura's words came back to me, and I squared my shoulders as I glared up at him. "If you want to go for everything I have, then go right ahead and try. I'll take you for everything you have too. Your position is already heading towards the gutters, and once people find out how you threatened a sixteen-year-old girl to get an abortion, you'll know exactly --"

"Jess," he interrupted with a sigh. "I'm not here to threaten you."

My mouth was still open, but I let the rest of my threats die out.

He pointed to the folder on the ground. "That's the original copy. I'm giving it to you."

I crossed my arms. "For what?"

He shrugged. "To tear up? Burn? Show my board of directors if you wish to."

"But..." I frowned. "Why?"

"I never intended on acting out any of the things written on the agreement," he said instead, and my mouth fell open in surprise. Daniel let out another sigh. "I just wanted to scare you because I was afraid that if the truth came out, my family would be torn apart. What James did to you... it wasn't right, and I knew that. But he's my son, Jess. I couldn't let him burn for it."

"Grace wanted to go to the police," I snapped. "She loved him just as much, and she still wanted to do the right thing."

At the mention of his wife, he smiled sadly. "My wife has always been too good for me. I didn't deserve her."

"You didn't."

For once, we both agreed on something.

Daniel leaned against his car and slipped his hands back into his pockets. I watched him warily.

"She was never the same after what happened. She blamed herself, and after you left, I was too much of a coward to tell her that it was my fault. I didn't want her to hate me, but I think I made her hate herself because of it."

My chest pang sharply as I imagined Grace hating herself even at the end of her life. It wasn't just on Daniel. It was on me too for concealing the truth, for asking her to do the same.

In the end, it made no difference. Charlotte had found out anyway, and just like Grace, she blamed herself.

God, I was such an idiot.

Daniel rubbed his eyes, and when he pulled his hand away, I saw his tears for the first time.

"I know you never got an abortion," he said, and I stiffened instinctively. There was no bite in his tone, though. "I know you've been living in Savannah all these years. I know that you and Charlotte have been seeing each other since she moved down there."

I scoffed in disbelief. "You've been following me since I left." And he still was. That was how he knew I was still here in Atlanta. A chill ran through my body, and I took a step back. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He didn't look at me. "Everything I've done, it has been for my family. I've never regretted the decisions I made to protect them, but what I did to you..." His voice wavered for a brief moment before he cleared his throat. "You made Charlotte happy, and she wasn't the same after you left. I wanted her to find you again."

I stared at him as I tried to process his words. He wanted Charlotte to find me again... as in...

My eyes widened as truth became quite clear. "You brought the theater and sent her to Savannah."

His lips twitched. "You got it faster than my daughter."

"Well, she can be slow sometimes."

He chuckled, and there was genuine amusement in his expression. It didn't last, though.

"She left," I said after a while. "You probably know that already."

Daniel didn't respond, which was enough of an answer.

"So what now?" I asked.

"That's up to you."

I glanced at the folder. "Does James know? About Noah?"

"Yes. I told him yesterday when he called." My stomach bottomed out in dread, but before I could start to panic, Daniel spoke again, "He will never come near you or Noah."

"You can't know that."

Daniel sighed. "He struggled a lot after Grace passed. He never stopped feeling that guilt for what he did to you, but most of all, for disappointing his mother. He believes she died hating him, and I never let him believe otherwise."

It was ruthless, really.

"So much for protecting your family's happiness," I muttered.

Without responding to my remark, he continued, "After I told him about Noah, I told him that if he loved his mother, then he would never look for you or Noah. I told him that Grace already knew about Noah, and it was her dying wish for him to never come close to either of you if he ever found out."

A surprised breath escaped me, and he looked up at me again. "She didn't know about Noah, though."

He raised a brow as if to say, 'and?'

"Using his mother against him? That's really harsh."

"Well..." he shrugged offhandedly. "I'll do anything to protect my family."

My eyes narrowed into a glare. "We are not family."

"You're Charlotte's family. Despite my daughter's resentment towards me, she's still mine, and I'll protect her family as if they're my own."

Strangely, it was sweet, but, "She left, though."

"You don't have to be together to be family," he said. "My daughter will always care for you, and she'll never want you or Noah to get hurt. I'm sure you feel the same about her."

The thought of him being right and me agreeing with him still felt strange, but I nodded.

Pushing himself off the car, Daniel reached for the door handle.

"So that's it?" I questioned as he opened the door.

He paused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean..." What did I mean? "What are you going to do now?"

He looked past my shoulder, and I followed his gaze to where Maeve and Laura were still standing at the porch, glaring at him.

Daniel's response made me turn back to him. "I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago and what Grace would want me to do. I'm going to focus on my daughter and stay by her side even if she hates me a lot right now."

Even though he probably knew already, I said, "She might lose her vision again."

I was surprised when fresh tears glistened his eyes, and he turned away to wipe them.

"You didn't know?" I asked tentatively.

"No, I --" He cut himself off and let out a shallow breath before continuing, "It was my fault she lost her vision."

I was stunned into silence.

"I should have been watching her, but I was so focused on work," he said quietly, his voice so fragile. "I didn't know she had fallen off the skis until I heard all of the screaming, and I looked up and her face was so -- she was so still and..."

Daniel didn't finish. More tears fell from his eyes, and he turned back to his car.

"I failed to make her happy, but you did everything right by her, Jess. More than anything I've ever done," he said. "Thank you."

I didn't reply. There was nothing left to say. In the following silence, Daniel got back into his car, and I watched him drive away. My heart felt heavy with everything that had been said between us, but in a way, I felt lighter too.

It was time to go home.

--------------

DECEMBER 24, 2024

Jess,

I don’t know if you’ll ever see this letter or care to open it.

I went to go see Dr. Penn. He was my doctor for the transplant. The bad news is that I have a corneal rejection, which means my body rejected my donor’s cornea. It could happen years after getting the transplant.

The good news is that it’s common and treatable. He said it’s good I came to him when I did, or I would have lost my eyesight again. I just have to keep up with the medication they give me to reverse the effects and do regular visits with him.

My dad keeps showing up to my clinical visits. I think he’s trying, but I still can’t stop thinking about what he did to you. What my family did to you.

I know he talked to you. I’m sorry, Jess. I’ll make sure he never bothers you and Noah again.

I thought about texting or calling you, but I’m too much of a coward. I just wanted to let you know because you deserve to.

Charlotte

--------------------

DECEMBER 31, 2024

Charlotte,

You nearly gave me a heart attack. You should learn how to lead with the GOOD NEWS.

I appreciate the update, and I’m glad to hear that you went to go see someone and that your vision will be okay. I know you don’t think much of yourself right now, especially after learning about everything, but none of it was ever your fault. You deserve happiness too, and you deserve to see how beautiful the world is just like you are.

Sounds cringy, I know.

You’re right. Writing a letter was very cowardly. What if I never saw it on the desk? Being back in this room, all I can think about is you and how everything came apart that night. I don’t know when you were last here, but I feel like I can still smell your perfume and shampoo on the pillow.

I miss you.

Maeve told me to tell you everything that night, but I didn’t listen. Would things have changed if I had? You already knew anyway and still left, so maybe not.

You know what I just realized? We’ve never spent any of the winter holidays together. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years.

How have we missed so much of our lives together, but I still feel like I know so much of you? And now our chances are gone.

I don’t know when and if you’ll see this, but Happy New Years.

Jess

--------------

FEBRUARY 20, 2025

Jess,

Happy very late new years.

I’ve moved in with Olivia. I know you might not care to hear this, but I’m worried about her. She’s been acting different. I guilt-tripped her into letting me move in, so I could keep an eye on her.

I have also started applying for jobs. I thought about going back into photography. My mom was a photographer, remember? I’ve always thought it was the coolest thing that she got to travel while doing what she loved.

I never realized how much we had missed together. I wished I had gotten to spend at least one winter with you.

As for that night, I don’t think anything would have changed if you had told me, so don’t blame yourself for any of it.

Is it too much if I tell you that I like that you can smell me on your pillow? It was how I knew you had been there when I came back from the cabin that night. The sheets and pillow smelled like you, and no matter how much Maeve tried to convince me otherwise, I knew without a doubt that you would come back to look for me again.

Thanks for egging my car too. I deserved that.

And please always stay your sappy, cringy self and never change.

Charlotte

--------------

JUNE 13, 2025

Charlotte,

It was Laura’s idea to egg your car. I was originally against it, but I was upset. What could a girl do? Thanks for understanding.

I would also egg Olivia’s car, but New York is too far of a drive. Egg it for me?

I hope she’s okay, and you’re a great friend for being there for her. You’ve always been the best.

How is the job search going? I hope it’s going well. From what I’ve seen, your work is beautiful. I always thought you were destined for way more.

I can’t smell you in the sheets this time. When was the last time you were here? Maybe we should start adding dates to these letters.

Did you know what Noah asked me last week? He asked if I knew what “cunt” meant. Can you believe that?!? Apparently, this new girl at school, Lizzie, keeps using all sorts of words around him. He’s also been giving me more sass, and I’m starting to not like this Lizzie girl.

Wish me luck.

Jess

February 22, 2025

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JULY 3, 2025

Jess,

I’m sorry.

Life has been... more than hectic.

My dad had a heart attack last month, but he’s okay. If you’re still at the theater, then you probably have heard he resigned from the company. These days, he seems lighter. It’s strange.

I also got a job as an assistant photographer at a small newspaper company. We mostly do local stuff, but it’s fun work and a good start.

How is Noah? He wasn’t too upset with me, was he? I know that’s wishful thinking, and I’m sorry for hurting him. I’m sorry for hurting you.

You’re a good mom, Jess. You’re the best mom, and he’s lucky to have you.

Are you happy?

Charlotte

June 13, 2025

P. S. I sprayed my perfume on the letter.

--------------

JULY 3, 2025 [1:08pm]

Jess: I just saw your letter. I’m sorry about your dad.

Jess: are you okay?

JULY 3, 2025 [1:54pm]

Charlotte: I’m okay. Thank you for checking in.

Charlotte: How are you?

JULY 3, 2025 [2:22pm]

Jess: anytime, Charlotte. Will you tell me, though? If you’re not okay?

Jess: I’m good. Just finished eating lunch with Maeve. She made fried chicken

JULY 3, 2025 [2:46pm]

Charlotte: Sounds delicious. Send me some?

Charlotte: And I promise I’ll let you know.

JULY 3, 2025 [2:58pm]

Jess: you got it. Packing it right now. Expect it in 3-5 business days?

JULY 3, 2025 [3:48pm]

Charlotte: I miss you.

JULY 4, 2025 [12:08am]

Jess: I miss you too.

Jess: the perfume was a nice touch

-------------------

OCTOBER 14, 2025

Charlotte,

I know we texted, but I’ll still write you this letter.

I’m happy to hear you found a job that you like. You’ll do great things. I know it. What’s the newspaper name? I want to take a look at your work.

You’re right. Noah was upset, but he doesn’t talk about it, which concerns me but I don’t want to push. I know you didn’t mean to hurt him. So much just happened so fast, and we both kept so many secrets, didn’t we?

As for if I’m happy... I don’t know, Charlotte. Do you want me to be? Will it make you feel better or worse if I tell you I was?

I know what I want your answer to be for my question, and I know my answer to yours as well.

But I won’t give you the answer to any of them. Call it pettiness.

Jess

July 5, 2025

P. S. I sprayed my cologne on the letter too

P. P. S. You left one of your hair ties in the bathroom. I’m keeping it.