The Headhunter Ch. 02

It's Not as Bad as It Seems. It's Much Worse

Barb walked around their home office like she was walking on broken glass, treading lightly knowing she was on double secret probation. She willed the printer to work faster. Finally, it completed the document. She offered the papers to Jack with both outstretched hands as a geisha might.

"Here's the application and resume I sent to the headhunter, and the job description of the position I interviewed for."

Jack took the papers and spread them on the desk resting his head on one hand in a gesture of both weariness and impatience. He scanned the application form. Nothing unusual stood out. He didn't expect anything to, he was just used to doing his due diligence. He pushed the application aside and began to scan the resume. His head bolted off his supporting hand.

Barb froze as Jack looked from document to document, then to her, then back at the resume. Barb wondered what he'd seen that disturbed him so. Jack looked back at her, then the paper again, and then finally back to her.

Jack spoke full of concern, "This would make me wonder anyway. Typos aren't good on a resume. But in our situation, I'm scared this has greater significance."

Barb began to twitch. What had he seen? It was a simple resume. It began with her high school grades, included because of her awards and scholar ships, then traveled through her college scholastics for the same reasons. Finally listing her first job and subsequent promotions with the company she'd stayed and grown with. And unfortunately, had slowed and grown bored with.

"Did I list an accomplishment incorrectly?" Barb asked, knowing Jack knew her entire working history.

Jack frowned tamping down his anger. "No, you ignored one, maybe because it didn't have value to you."

Barb took a chance of picking up the papers, feeling like she needed his express written consent to be that close to him. She scanned both pages. She feared what she had to admit, "I-I don't see anything wrong."

"Then we have a larger problem than I thought."

Barb felt herself shake. "Please Jack, what's wrong?"

"Check your header."

Barb's mind raced. 'Header? Had she spelled her name wrong? And why would that displease Jack to this degree?' At first, she didn't see it. Then she did. She was dumbfounded. She had indeed spelled her name wrong!

Barb was sure she was turning grey again. Strangely Jack seemed relieved that she saw this as a problem as well. "Jack, I'm so embarrassed. I really am. It's a stupid gaff. You'd howl about this now if we'd discussed my failure with the dancer when it happened. I assure you I use your surname. You can check my driver's license and my 501k forms, any form at all except..."

Jack interjected the most obvious answer, "Your resume where you used your maiden name. I don't know Barb; you've kept too many secrets from me: that you were contacted by a headhunter, that you signed up with them, and that you'd had an interview. Add to that the fact that two years ago you traveled without me and engaged in a sexual dalliance with another man. Do you go by your maiden name at the job and when traveling? Was the time with your not-so-tiny dancer a one-off or do you like to keep the kettle on the boil while you're out of town?"

Barb's mouth made funny shapes before words emerged, "Jack, I should be insulted but considering everything I've dumped on you I can't be. I'm not sure how it keeps multiplying."

Jack told her, "It's not. It's all your secrets converging on you at the same time, all the things you've done and kept from me."

Barb slowed down, she needed Jack to understand what had really transpired, "I was contacted at work by the headhunter. I never sought them out. I told you that very night. We decided together I should look into their offer. So, I filled out the application which is really more of a release form. I did that the next day at lunch, as we'd discussed. I couldn't very well tell you I'd done either of those things before they'd happened. And you knew just as soon as I could tell you."

Barb looked down, "The lunch appointment I could have told you about sooner, but I only thought they were only going to throw a few job descriptions in my lap. My plan was to come home and parse them with you. I didn't realize I was going to a quick interview. I did tell you as soon as I could, which was as soon as you came home that evening. I know the lunch interview was an escalation, but one I didn't think you'd mind terribly. Except it led to our stumbling across my half minute of infidelity. I take full responsibility for that and for concealing it. I'd always planned to tell you; the right time never presented itself. Jack, that secret, both concealing it and what I'd done, scared me to death. Only hurting you with the truth scared me more. And look where we are! It's indisputable we're in a highly charged stressful place as a result. It's indisputable that I messed up in a major way. It's also indisputable that I've been an exemplary wife ever since, because that's what I truly want to be."

"So, that makes it okay?" Jack asked incredulous.

"Certainly not! Although it's obvious we were happier when I swallowed the guilt and kept my mistake under wraps." Barb's eyes rolled at her choice of phrasing. "Now that it's out, my fervent hope is that we can deal with my bad behavior together and get past it. I'm willing to pay for my sins, Jack! I just pray that whatever we do, good and bad, we do together."

Jack's lips peeled back over is teeth before he answered, "Damn it though Barb, I thought we were completely honest with each other. That was a big part of what I thought we had. Now I find out you've not only kept a secret from me, but that you've kept it for years. The secret is a doozy too: you in a strip joint, high and drunk, ogling and brushing up against naked men, until you decided to suck one!

"Your infidelity decision tree doesn't give comfort either. As soon as you decided you wanted to -- you did! I didn't figure into the equation until after you'd done what you wanted. It appears I don't mean to you what you've meant to me."

Barb suppressed a deep shiver at his use of past tense.

Jack wasn't finished, "The icing on the cake is there are other secrets. You use your maiden name when you're away from me. Which would make it easier to carouse and cavort when I'm not around. The headhunter, the infidelity, and the maiden name, make a hat trick of chicanery! That's three instances of kicking me and my best interests to the curb. Three makes a pattern, Barb. That's a pattern of my only being important enough for you to find a way around, but not important enough to be faithful to."

Barb's head swiveled back and forth. "No, Jack, no. Even with all the instances you mentioned you wouldn't feel this unsure if these things weren't all hitting you at once. I don't have a hidden life. The thing with my maiden name was only a mistake."

"Oh, so the blowjob wasn't?" Jack fumed.

Barb's brows knit with worry, "I meant the one was no more than a rushed clerical error. You called it a typo. There's nothing more to it than that. You did know about the headhunter and the interview as soon as I could tell you. The blowjob, or mouthing, or service, w-whatever you want to call it, was despicable. It can't be defended. I can only explain there were degrees of - damn - sucking and motivation that really do need your consideration. You're the judge Jack, but please weigh my crimes fairly because you're being fair to yourself as well as me."

Barb shook her head sadly, "There's no explaining away what I did. I was in a place I probably shouldn't have been, and I was compromised. I saw something I shouldn't even have seen and decided I wanted it. I only wanted it in a certain way, which I've explained. Except I took what I wanted. Only after I was enjoying it ..." Barb paused thinking. She started again with a specific note, "I don't think "enjoy" is the correct word. It paints an inaccurate picture. "Sampling" would have been a better choice. While I was "sampling" my brain woke up and I not only stopped immediately; I freaked.

"I left the place immediately and alone, which probably wasn't the safest course. I called an uber and got out of there, going straight back to my hotel room, and cried my eyes out. I'm really happy none of the other ladies joined me because I needed that cry all to myself. "I wasn't just crying that I was lower than I'd ever thought myself, but because I'd betrayed you!

"Then I hid my extremely bad and mortifying behavior. Behavior that not only cut me to the quick but had the potential to do the same to you - and has. I didn't think through my "sampling" before I did it. I did think through hiding my behavior. It was a hard choice and one I haven't felt good about. I waited to confess because I was afraid. I was afraid of losing you and hurting you because you mean the world to me!"

What about the non-blowjob, job? What about using your maiden name while I'm not around?"

Barb ground her teeth, "I don't. That resume typo is my fault. But It's not what it seems. Oh, wait, that's a suicidal thing to say," Barb paused, "Damn it though, it really isn't what it seems! I pulled up my resume on my computer and simply added more recent accomplishments to it to update it. I created that doc before we were married. It's embarrassing that I let a detail like that evade me, especially on a resume purporting to show I'm detail oriented." Barb hurriedly scrolled through her phone, "Look here."

"What am I looking at?"

"A picture of my desk at work. Look at my name plate. I'm using your surname there. If you note the lone picture on my desk, it's of you."

Jack sat thinking it through.

Barb pled, "Honey, all the money goes to our correct bank account. Both my checks and the bank account have my married name. Social security has my name right. The only place my name is wrong is on the resume you just saw."

"Which you gave to the job interview I didn't know about."

Defeated Barb admitted, "Yeah."

Jack sat back in his seat. He ran his fingers through his hair. He was calmer, yet still perturbed, "You're right, I wouldn't have worried about it at all before. Suddenly there're a lot of things cropping up where I expected you to march right, only to find you disappearing into left field. I think I may need a refresher, or maybe you do, as to who you are, what you want, and what you've told me. There's a distressing trend of things not lining up."

* * * * *

The headhunter called Barb saying she'd passed the interview with flying colors. As both the hiring company and Barb wanted to keep her possible change of employment under wraps for now, they asked her to come into their office so she could meet again with the hiring agent she'd interviewed with. They could discuss particulars at their meeting. The headhunter told her, "We don't make requests like this unless the company wants to hire our client. That's you."

Excitedly Barb gave the headhunter three dates she could meet with the agent after hours. She thanked the headhunter, hung up, and dialed another number without putting the phone down. The call to Jack was routed to his voicemail. She said without hesitation that she had big news, and he should check his messages. She also asked him to keep the matter strictly between them.

Barb quickly received a message back from the headhunter telling her the hiring agent had chosen the very soonest time Barb had offered.

Barb spoke to Jack that night telling him of the exciting news, careful to make sure he knew she wanted his input, and that she was NOT making this decision without him. To her great relief Jack was completely on board. He was happy to be in on the ground floor and that his wife earnestly wanted his input. Even better Jack was proud of her, which put Barb on cloud nine. As they spoke over dinner he even said, "I think you'll like the new job. I'm impressed by your mystery company. Reading their job description, it seems they've organized their position much as I've fashioned the management role of my upcoming promotion. From what they've told you of their plans you should have a well-trained, motivated, crew you'll be working with. You won't have to spoon feed them, freeing you to make the most of their talents as you figure out how to integrate the streamlined production into the rest of their system. After your job one building out the new plan, integration is the obvious next step in production, the trick is getting corporate management, who is typically resistant to change, to acknowledge it."

Curious Barb asked, "How did you get upper management to realize your plan was a change for the better?"

Jack couldn't keep the triumphant grin off his face, "By figuring out how the system really would work best. Except I took into consideration the actual talents of the team members. Except I did that for the executive committee too, to figure out how best to approach them. Then I created a new flow chart because management knows how to read those. Flow charts are a dime a dozen, but I made a flow chart of how we're operating now as opposed to what they thought was happening, then I overlayed what we could change things to. Here's the big trick: I assigned the costs of each step and told them to have their own accounting department check them. My estimates on what we were actually doing came out to mirror the real-world figures they were seeing. As I didn't have access to that information, I had instant credibility. I'm good at my job, but frankly, I should be doing a much larger job. I proved it by doing the same thing for my proposed streamlined process. I assigned what I believe are very real estimates to each step there too. I showed them how I used the same methodology to arrive at my estimates of what we could do versus what we were doing. As I'd hit the bullseye there, they were very happy to see the rise in profits my suggested plan would produce."

Barb swallowed. "That's a lot of work, Honey."

Jack nodded, "I don't want to sound egotistical but, yes, it was good hard work. And it will pay off. Whoever has given my proposal the time of day has been happy enough to run it up the next rung of the ladder. It's been close to the top for a while now. I've made presentations and answered questions. It's really a shift in corporate outlook though one we should've had all along. They say they now see where they need to be a bit more forward thinking in several ways they do business. Apparently, they're just waiting for checkoffs from a few rungs higher, then I should have my promotion. I must say it's going to be much more exciting than the gradual incremental managerial rise they've utilized up till now. I've figured out how to softly integrate my new power: I won't have a fancy title to threaten some of the old managers, but my clout will increase substantially. And the big wigs don't fear it because I've shown them what they'll reap!"

Jack sat back tired from just explaining it. "It's taken two years of banging my head against the wall to push this through. The sign off and promotion can't come fast enough. I think I've really proven my worth to them. It's tough bulldozing through decades of "this is the way we've always done it" thinking. I admit being rather proud of myself."

Barb was extremely proud of him. Instead of basking in his own success Jack reached across the table and took her hand saying, "Look at us. We're a few weeks away from being a legitimate power couple!"

Barb jumped up and plopped herself down on Jack's lap. Just as fast as she had, she felt his hands sliding over her. It had been a rough few days, but this was wonderful!

* * * * *

Barb's meeting with her perspective new employer was to talk specifics: the exact job details, salary, benefits, etc. Except she still didn't know the name of the company that wanted to hire her. They met at a coffee shop with a back section that gave them enough privacy to speak freely. The hiring manger explained that the corporation was heading in a new direction and wanted their new project manager on board before they announced the change internally. Announcing the changes to the rest of the world would follow shortly. They hoped to catch their competition and the market sleeping. Thus, until Barb decided she was extremely interested in the offer they didn't want to tell her the name of the company, nor did they want to meet at their location stirring up questions they weren't yet prepared to answer. Once both parties agreed they were serious, they would reveal everything so that Barb could make her final decision.

Barb had sipped half her coffee away studying the plan they were hiring her to implement. Looking at their goals, explanations, and instructions, Barb couldn't help but feel the plan seemed familiar. The hiring manager Barb was meeting with said the corporation had decided recently to be a bit more forward thinking in their business procedures. They expected Barb would be a major part of their remake. They promised having some wonderful talented folks for her to manage. "One will no doubt be your right arm. He's very good and can see the future. He'll be happy to work under you. I think he'll be delighted to have direct access to the person making the changes."

"Is there any other reason he'd be so motivated?" Barb asked cautiously.

"Why yes. You should know, after all he'll be your subordinate, because he's about to be rewarded for his fabulous work ethic. He's going to receive two standard incremental advancements instead of the one he's probably expecting."

Barb struggled to not rub her forehead, "Just to help me understand, how many standard increments ahead will I be?"

The HR manger proudly explained, "About five above that! We group them in threes. Don't worry, you'll be at a position to make these changes happen. The title may not sound fancy now, but in ten years people will see where it has supplanted some of our older titles. The important thing is you'll have all the clout you need to make the changes you need, and your subordinates are perfectly trained to make this plan hum."

Barb swallowed hard hoping she hasn'd tipped her cap. There were too many similarities to be coincidence.

She asked about pay. "Look, just so I know how I fit, the right arm person you spoke off who is getting two increments, what will his pay range be?"

The difference between you will be at least forty thousand a year. You're on a different rung, he's going to the top of his class, but he'll still be on his existing rung. When he earns his next step after the two he's about to receive, he'll be on his next rung, but still a rung down from you. Don't worry, it will be obvious he's not on your level. And he's a very loyal employee. He'll see the obvious chain of command and we're sure he'll be thrilled with his jump and new working conditions under you."

Barb thought, 'That difference will be obvious and catastrophic.'

She made a point of looking at their implementation plans, "Ah, I have to say this is more than a wish list, this a virtual blueprint. You guys did a magnificent job coming up with this plan. Who designed it?"

The HR manager beamed while playing his cards close to the vest. "I think it best that comes out naturally, but we expect you'll have a great working relationship with your crew - and with your new right arm." He emphasized the last few words to answer her query without breaking company policy.

Barb nodded plastering a pleased expression on her face. She had to think fast. She had to have more information and couldn't look like she was fishing. She saw one card to play, "I really like this."

"Can we say you're coming on board?" the hiring agent asked not disguising his enthusiasm.

She smiled, "It's a wonderful position, I just ..." she shook her head before changing her course, "If something seems too good to be true, you need to be a little wary. Don't you think?"

The agent seemed delighted by that response.

Barb asked professionally, "Could you answer just a few more questions for me? I really want to say yes, and every answer I get sounds perfect. I'm a hard worker not a dreamer, so I'm trying to get my feet on the ground instead of having my head in the clouds."

The HR manager couldn't nod his head fast enough, adding, "Here's something to add to your decision tree. While we don't want to rush you, we definitely want you. We're anxious to have you on board and to implement our new plan. I think the pay is probably more than you expected, and as you remarked, each step of your road ahead is already well laid out. The architect is still on board and will be your subordinate. You will have more power than you understood you were applying for. Adding all that up, I believe we have a unique opportunity to strike a deal. I'd love to tell you more but don't feel I should until you've decided to come onboard."

Happy with his summary he looked at Barb with appraising eyes. Seeing something there he liked he added, "Not to rush you but I have the contracts with me. You're a bold new step for us. We're anxious to make ourselves more contemporary and step into a new future. You'll be the one holding the banner leading us there. The management team wants to make this happen. We have flexibility on implementation, which should be an advantage to you. You can start in the traditional two weeks or a month. Or if your present company releases you right away and you want to start tomorrow, we'd welcome you then with open arms."

He sat back sure he'd presented a fantastic opportunity in the best way possible. He expected a sale.

"Wow, it's a real red carpet," Barb said sincere and concerned.

"That's what I was hoping you'd think," the HR man responded misunderstanding her reaction.

Barb took a chance and silently said a prayer. "Yes, I want to come on board!"

Elated he quickly presented the paperwork. They started through the menial forms, state regulations, and bank accts. Barb hesitated at the last, writing her maiden name on the statement after a strong warning from her gut not to reveal her married name.

As quickly as he could get through the menial requirements, the Human Relations Director presented the real contract. It had been written and compiled in a way as to conceal the company's identity if she wanted to go over it with a fine-tooth comb first. The name of her prospective employer wasn't revealed until the final signature page. And there it was. Her terrible hunch was correct, this was Jack's company!

Thoughts ran through her mind in a torrent, 'Dear Lord in heaven, there's no coincidence: they're giving me Jack's handmade job! He has no idea they're pulling the rug out from under him.' She shook her head unable to shake the memory of her recent revelation to her husband about her behavior at the bachelorette party. How many people kicked Jack in the ass in return for his being loyal to them?

Barb asked the strategic questions she had to, trying her utmost to still act excited. Jack's company was moving things around, modernizing, and getting up to speed with the times. They all but said it was because Jack had convinced them to. His work group and others were going to be folded under her, just as Jack had planned. Except without the most knowledgeable person at the helm. No, that wasn't right. They were going to keep Jack on to the job, then upper management would pose with Barb for photos when the plan was a success. They would plaster that picture over every paper they could convince to print it, showing what an upstanding, forward-thinking, company they were. They were going to fuck Jack over for a public relations gain, laughing at him for his loyalty, while banking on that loyalty to make the changes for them.

In a change to their household Barb would jump from a couple rungs below her husband's status at another company to two directly above him at his own. She couldn't keep the thought out of her head, 'Dear Lord, I'm getting his promotion! He's getting two of the tiny incremental adjustments he's already run out of patience with. Even worse, I'll be his boss. Should I say anything? Of course, I'll have to, eventually. It's just he was so happy last night for the first time since the awful conversation that started over the headhunter.' Barb couldn't help but think this news would crush him, and they still hadn't dealt with her damned infidelity.

The Human Relations head spoke, breaking her thoughts, "Is there a problem?"

Barb had applied under her maiden name so there was no apparent match with anyone already working at the corporation: there was nothing linking her to Jack.

"I don't think so, I'm looking ahead." Barb went with a convincing line, "Now that I know who wants to hire me, I know several people in your company. In fact, I'm wondering if one isn't going to be in one of my groups."

"Is that a problem?"

Barb thought quickly telling the H. R. manager the truth, "I hope not. We've worked on community projects and work exceptionally well together, but I'm curious."

"What about?"

"Well, in my estimation, from what I know about him, his command of his business, and his skills ..."

"Yes?"

Barb didn't have to fake her consternation, "Frankly, he may be better qualified for the position I'm taking than I am."

That brought a sharp look from the H. R. director. She followed up, "I believe in knocking out possible problems early. This brings up three questions. How did I get the job over him? How do I convince him he is valued here in this circumstance? And how many others in my sphere will feel the same way he probably will, specifically that they've been passed over?"

Incredibly the liaison relaxed, as he saw all of those as very legitimate managerial questions. "I can answer the first one: we think YOU are the best fit for this job, period. If others disagree, they may have their opinion, but they must still fall in line. I'm sure you will prove their misgivings unfounded in short order."

Barb nodded, "I agree. I'm asking how I should fall in line. And why, after an apparent slap down for what has only been exemplary work, this loyal employee should want to fall in line?"

The liaison nodded knowing his answer didn't really address the first question and not at all the second or third. "I'll have you talk with the division head."

Barb nodded, "I think we should have that talk before much else happens. I'd prefer to keep the road smooth instead of letting potholes form that need be filled."

The hiring manager loved her response.

* * * * *

When Barb returned home Jack asked her how her meeting went before seeing her drawn expression.

Barb gave her all not to mumble, "I'm not sure, I don't have all the details. But things sound hinky." She had no idea how to break this to her husband. She feared the effect her news would have on him.

"First off, they're jumping me up higher than I thought."

"That's great! I know you can handle it," Jack responded enthusiastically.

"But..."

"What?" Jack was concerned his wife wasn't happy.

Barb chewed her lip before replying, "I think I may be jumping over people more qualified simply because I'm a woman."

Barb watched her husband nod. She saw the frustration that working harder and better than others didn't matter because of gender and other factors unrelated to the actual work. He knew that minorities and women had felt that exact same frustration, which was exactly why he had pressed his company so hard to change. Jack just wanted results, the best way to get them was to have the best people working towards them. Jack was in favor of a meritocracy, pointing out to his company that was the direction they needed, having no idea he was to be sacrificed for encouraging them to take the journey. Barb was certain that in Jack's case they were making a mistake. She also knew pointing that out to management might undermine their enthusiasm to take the new direction. Jack lost either way. What a tangled mess!

Barb remembered Jack saying irresponsibility couldn't be cured by applying any amount of another type of irresponsibility. He said the path to acting responsibly was a strait one, you don't take side trips or work up to it, you simply started acting responsibly right away. It was like Jack's bosses were purposely tying his wisdom in knots.

This was why after not being forth coming about a past indiscretion, Barb was risking doing so again. Unsure yet of how to proceed she asked Jack's opinion, "Honey, you have an exceptional head on your shoulders, what do you think about my situation?"

"If you can do the job, do it. The issue sounds like a corporate policy. I often disagree with them, but I can't change them. So, if the opportunity is there for you, why not take it?"

"Jack, you work for a larger corporation than I do. We spoke about working for large corporations years ago when you took the job, now that you've been inside for a while, how does Fortune One Hundred corporate life strike you?"

Jack's eyebrows raised to match the corner of his smile, "Bloated and inefficient, they can't get out of their own way. It's maddening. On the other hand, there's a lot to be said for being a juggernaut. I mean look at the salaries: I make almost thirty percent more than you do. I have more responsibility and power, but it's a huge gap! It may seem like I'm back in fifth grade from a behavioral and critical thinking standpoint, but the money is better than elsewhere."

Jack's brow furrowed, then he shrugged saying, "We spoke about it when I took the job; we have jobs to support the family, we don't give up family to support the job. You must keep your perspective and put first things first. When you're at work, work like hell for them. It's okay to bleed the corporate culture too, just don't drink the cool aid. Your job, any job, will never be as important for us as our kids. There are lots of brain-dead folks inside that think their corporation is the most important thing on earth, and those are normally the folks who don't realize they're the deadwood holding things back."

Barb didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Jack had his head on straight, his priority was her. That was wonderful, but not only would he hate what was going to come down ON him, but he could never respect it. Worst of all, he was right. She swallowed hard. She'd confirm it with her possible new boss tomorrow.

"Honey, can you give me an example? It would really help me." Barb needed to gauge how strongly he felt. She was seriously considering not taking the job. "You've put in for promotion. How is that going?"

Jack answered confidently, "Yeah, and the more I look around, I'm exactly the sort of young Turk they need. I'm perfect for it. Of course, I should be. I've pointed the direction and made the map to where we need to go. I didn't define myself as perfect for the job, but I literally defined the job; there's a ton of me integral to it."

She tried to sound enthusiastic, "That's great."

Jack was more measured now, "It would be if the system worked right. But it doesn't. Not at all! It works hard at not working right, it goes out of its way to not work right. I'm aging out of what they want."

"Ridiculous. You're young."

"Yes, but I'm also the most detested demographic in corporate H. R." He smiled making light of it. "I really am the best qualified for the job, but we're very old school and frankly so many of us look like the product of a machine spitting out a similar-looking corporate workers. I get the issue. If they had hired the best qualified all along, there wouldn't be this problem now, even if we all happened to look alike. We've reached the point where being the most qualified doesn't make you the best candidate."

Barb cringed.

"I AM the most qualified. I define what this job should be, it's based on my talents because for years I've been pointing a particular direction. No one else has seen the obvious path. I've even had to spoon feed Randolph." Jack shook his head thinking of his immediate boss. They made a formidable pair, but Randolph should have been touting what Jack had been pushing for the last t two years a decade earlier. Jack continued, "Now we're finally moving that way and they haven't jumped to give me the ball when I'm the one that has them standing on the goal line. It's confusing and worrisome."

Barb felt dizzy. Clearly, she'd uncorked a vein Jack needed to vent. Only he didn't know it was worse than he thought. His executive committee didn't want him for that job. They'd already gone outside the company to ensure a diversity hire instead. They still didn't see where he was pointing. Jack hadn't taken them as far as he'd thought.

Jack was still venting, "I could take it if it was a tiebreaker. But there are three candidates. All of us are white, one is female. I'm better than both. However, no one has whispered in my ear, and they've held up announcing the winner. That tells me they don't want me. Especially as they haven't talked to me. In fact, they seem almost pissed at me for showing them how gummed up their outdated plan is instead of seeing I've shown them the way out of their trouble."

His tongue worked over the outside of his teeth, "The people I work with are beginning to look at me with sympathy. Everyone in our groups knows all the candidates and knows I'm the best of the three. That tells me they want Sharon and are grooming her to make her more acceptable to the rest of us when she's hired. Sharon herself has told me I should get the job. She hoped to get my current job when I got promoted so I would be able to mentor her." Jack rubbed the back of his neck, "I see your problem better now Barb; what my business is doing isn't fair to Sharon either."

Barb winced knowing he was right; they didn't want Jack, no matter his qualifications. She swallowed hard thinking, 'Damn, once I checked off their boxes, Jack was toast.'

Jack watched closely noting Barb's demeanor didn't match what she was saying, "Honey, the way they're talking I'm getting a huge boost from my current position, more power, more responsibility, and quite a bit more money from what I have now. I fear I see some similarities with your female coworker. They're now talking about paying me practically fifty percent more than what I'm currently making."

Jack's eyebrows went up, that was good money. Then she saw one of his eyebrows arch higher as he realized she'd be making quite a bit more than he was currently. His teeth pressed together, and his lips parted slightly. She intuited he must have just done the rest of the math. She thought, 'I'd be making about as much as him if he won his promotion. And he's not happy. Nor should he be. Jack's much more serious about his career than I am about mine. He's always been more devoted that way. He's worked harder.'

Barb felt her pulse increase. Her thoughts painted a dark picture, 'I've never worked as hard as him, never made the sacrifice he did to make more money for us. Now I'm going to surpass him without the sacrifices he's made. Add in that I made a terrible mistake once when drunk, while he's never slipped. I got what I wanted in the spur of the moment at his expense for the rest of our lives. He wants to forgive me for that. But that's going to be another proof to him that he's more devoted to me than I am to him. I pray that's not true. I made a mistake. I've paid for almost two years. But of course, he's not sure that was penance as much as trying to save my own skin at the additional cost to him of keeping him in the dark. Now his company is offering ME what Jack wants! Damn, this is precarious. I keep getting rewards at great cost to him, while he keeps getting shafted for tremendous work and devotion. Jack is getting proof after proof that life's not fair, and I'm tied prominently to the worst examples!'

Barb had another thought, 'With my recent admission that I sucked a man because, dammit, I wanted to, would Jack think I went out to find a better paying job so I could leave him? Could he think that I've only used him until I didn't need him?'

Barb felt dizzy, she absentmindedly rubbed her cheeks. 'I should've come right home from that bachelorette party and told him what I did with that damn stripper. My guilt makes these alarms go off all the time! And now I'm not fully revealing what I already know or surmise about his career. I'm going to have to walk a tight rope when I come clean. I don't care about the money or authority; I'll turn it all down if it's not good for us! I just want to make Jack happy. How can I do that having been offered the job he designed and labored to create for years, while at the same time being on probation for an incident two years ago that he just became aware of?'

Jack's voice broke her thoughts, "Did you tell them, "No?"

Barb nervously shook her head. "No. You just made a convincing speech about what's best for our family. And I have a plan I wanted to run past you before I gave them an answer. I'm not sure which way is right. I must also discern what's more important to you. I'll do whatever is right for us, and you'll be the major factor in which way I go."

Jack looked annoyed, frightening Barb. She hurried out, "What is it baby? I'm firmly in your corner!"

He nodded as he changed pace, "Yeah, that speech about what's best for us. I was thinking over part of that while holding myself up to the mirror. I was swallowing some pride, it's tough to have your own logic used against you."

Barb added almost desperately, "For you, baby, never against you. I'm always for you, Jack! I can see where, despite the money, this could alter our dynamic, and that could be very bad for our family."

Jack appreciated Barb seeing that.

Suddenly tired he sat back saying, "At work there's a stone wall I've been pushing against for years. Now my company wants to push it too, but from the other side. The biggest problem is there're shouldn't be a wall in the first place. No one remembers why they built it. No one thinks to ask whether we should keep it. It's there and no one thinks to do what should be done - tear that sucker down. If that's too daunting a task, then knock some holes in it to use for doors while we continue dismantling. Now I almost feel like they're pushing the wall over, but on top of me."

Barb thought it was an excellent analogy and told him so. She was also now positive that he could never live with what was coming. She had to figure something out!

* * * * *

The next day Barb met her prospective new boss. She rendezvoused with the H. R. manger off site in what she thought an overly elaborate cloak and dagger plan to sneak her inside their complex and secret her up to the directors oversized office. Once inside the main facility where her new job, and her husband's current one, resided she was rushed up a back staircase to keep her position with the company under wraps for now. She was meeting with the division head. His position was regional though his office was in the same building where Jack, and perhaps soon Barb, would be working.

Barb noticed all the subtleties of his behavior. He was very professional on one level while letting his personal interests have a little too much lead on another. He didn't cross any line; in fact, he was trying hard not to. He just thought he was better at concealing his ogling than he was. Barb figured working in a mostly male environment he might not be as practiced at the subtleties as those with more prevalent female co-workers. He was obviously taken with her. She made note of his surreptitiously looking her up and down. Eventually he saw her wedding ring and lost interest quickly. Apparently, that made her conquest not worth the effort. She shuddered knowing that meant he had indeed been sizing her up for conquest. The right result for the wrong reasons.

"Hello Barbara. I'm Randolph Jenkins the Division Manager for the Northeast. You'll be taking over operations at our flagship location and its logistical refit. That is, if you choose to come on board."

Barb hoped her eyes didn't flare. She'd met Randolph on several occasions, but she'd heard about him chapter and verse. Jack worked hand in glove with Randolph. In fact, their partnership seemed more of a friendship. Except Randolph knew about the outside hire and hadn't told Jack!

Barb remembered the two of them playfully bantering the phrase "Living the dream" back and forth to each other. Both Jack and Randolph loved the corporate hustle and bustle. They were good at it, thriving where others barely survived. While most said it sarcastically, many said it meaning that while they may not like what they were doing, they'd dutifully do it. Jack and Randolph, however, meant it.

For all she'd heard of him, Randolph didn't connect her to Jack at all. Her resume listed her maiden name not her married name. They'd met very briefly at company functions like Christmas parties and July Fourth events where employees were encouraged to bring family. Barb imagined the numbers were large enough that Randolph may not remember all of his employees, little less their spouses. Apparently, that had given her very good cover. She smiled inwardly; this was much to her advantage.

She surveyed the large office. Randolph responded to her unasked question with a strong reassuring voice, "No, I don't merit this office on my own. It used to be a briefing room." He nodded to the glass wall overlooking the immense shop floor that was broken into sectors. Different teams could perform completely different large-scale jobs in different areas of that floor and never get in each other's way.

Randolph explained, "It used to be we'd holding briefings here allowed those involved to still keep watch over their work groups. It also let the troops see their commanders working when they weren't in their midst."

Brb added, "And the troops know they can be seen every moment of the day."

Randolph smiled genuinely, "Correct. It has some uses. Any motivation is good motivation, as long as it truly motivates." Randolph smiled again. The phrase was obviously one he'd used a million times.

Randolph continued, "Eventually we needed another room to house yet more electronic equipment. My office was the same as anyone else's, a twelve-by-twelve cinderblock cube. It was right next door to this room. I was in almost every meeting anyway and always had to hold the meetings here because there were always too many people to fit in my office. So, I moved in here and gave my old office to the new equipment."

Randolph crooked an eyebrow as he motioned to a corner of the room, "Lest you think I'm a conspicuous consumer, please note my desk and file cabinets take up far less than one hundred and forty-four square feet. The perk is all I have to do now is roll my chair from my desk to the board table."

He smiled quite satisfied. "Yes, I have the big glass wall, but believe me that's normally a disadvantage for the things I discuss. In fact, it's never been more of a problem than right now." He twirled his hand in the air seeming to motion towards the ceiling. "The lights are dimmed to conceal your presence, not set an eerie mood."

Barb noted they were seated deeply into the room as far away as possible from the glass wall. There was a couch parallel to Randolph's desk with a coffee table in between. There were two well-padded chairs at either end of the coffee table that could be pulled closer to the desk if appropriate. Randolph had shown her to the couch and then taken one of the padded chairs. Close enough for brass-tacks business and an air of welcome with no invasion of personal space.

Barb decided her worries all translated into business problems. While she needed to conceal her specifics, she could be candid about the situation. She waded in with her first qualm: specifically, that her hire was more for public relations than the company's belief she could get the job done.

Randolph was surprisingly unfazed, "We are a Fortune One Hundred company, much higher actually. At our size half the game IS optics. Good public relations are like having a business license."

Barb hadn't expected his response, "Won't stockholders expect our very best?"

He smiled happy to explain, "And they're getting it. Our stockholders, the evaluators, and the public, all demand results AND optics. We can't afford to choose one over the other. I'll be even more candid. At our size we need to exert pressure on political officials, not have them exert it on us. We need trade deals, federal funds, rules rolled back or altered, some to help us and some to hinder our competitors. Sometimes we put shackles on ourselves, knowing they'll only annoy us, while stopping our competitors dead. You can say it should all be a level playing field, but we are the giant, we worked long and hard to get here, we even helped define the market, so why give away all our hard work and effort struggling with others in the arena equally? Especially when we can lay honest claim to building the arena in the first place.

"We always go forward. The trick is putting yourself in the best position to win. It's better to own the arena than compete like everyone else. We make deals aligning elegant negotiables for us. Meaning we give somewhere it doesn't hurt us but is of tremendous value to the other party. Perhaps we give the people we need to sway on a trade package something they feel they can be reelected on. Maybe the better term is win-win. See the bigger picture?"

Barb nodded with a furrowed brow, "Unfortunately, what I'm seeing looks like we're sacrificing some of our best talent, and perhaps our future."

Randolph was undeterred, "Tying matters directly to your concerns: perhaps a few guys will suffer individually to put this corporation in the best position to win. That's management's job, making this corporation win. That's where you as an individual and the corporation can both win. Look for the wins, not the cost of doing business. Besides it's not like if we don't play politics that no one else will. If we don't do this, someone else will do it to us."

"That's a justification."

"True, but it's a piece on the gameboard we'd be unwise to ignore."

"It may be unwise to play some pieces."

Randolph flashed an unworried smile, "That's beyond both of us. This corporation is betting on you to be the best. It we supplant someone good doing it, the corporation is not worse for wear: we will still have the best. See? If you want to change the system, work hard, and become the CEO. But you'll still have to play by the board's rules getting there."

Barb nodded in a conciliatory fashion, "I expect some fallout from the announcement of my taking the position."

Randolph shrugged confidently, "Let me know what you need to deal with it."

"What happens to the other candidates?"

"They get in line or get taken out of line."

"Punished because they didn't get a promotion?"

Randolph forced another smile trying to be encouraging, "A person is either loyal or they aren't. You're part of the solution, or you're the problem. The individual picks which side they want to be on, and we managers deal with either contingency."

"Suppose they have a point."

"No one here is bigger than the corporation itself. Some fall and a rare few get slighted. If they deal with it inside our regular channels and adhere to our timeline they could, eventually, emerge heroes. If they have heartburn they can't digest, so bad that their problem becomes ours, they are transferred."

"To a better fit?"

Randolph appraised Barb. So far, she'd digested everything without batting an eye. He decided to tell the truth, "No, they'll get the first bus out regardless of fit. Actually, we often look for the worst fit, so they decide to leave the company instead of our firing them which requires a severance package. It's good business to send a message to stay in line."

"Or risk being culled from the herd," Barb said flatly.

"Exactly!" Randolph said happy Barb understood. "We have 400,000 employees. That's a hell of a line. If it gets tangled, it will take explosives to unfetter. Fewer people get hurt this way. Look, I haven't detected animosity on your part. Do we have a problem?"

Barb played politics and dissembled information skillfully, just as Randolph was preaching, "No sir, not at all! I simply see these issues are going to be mine to fix. I'd rather put my energies elsewhere, but you don't leave enemy troops in your wake as you push forward. So any "heartburn" needs to be cleaned up efficiently and quickly. Mr. Randolph, I'm only asking you to read me chapter and verse because I want to make sure I'm on the right page. I want to ensure I'm fixing problems the right way and to the right beat. I don't want to tangle those lines you mentioned."

"Good!" Randolph smiled deeply. "What else can I answer for you?" He was genuinely happy.

Barb would be too, as long as Randolph didn't get happy enough to consider making a run at her. She shuddered looking at his desk remembering a suspicion her husband had shared with her years ago about Randolph, wondering how many interns had ended up there. Having had that unfortunate thought Barb kept glancing at Randolph's desk knowing what sometimes happened there. His desk seemed a perfect metaphor for corporate corruption.

Her thoughts raced to her infidelity at the bachelorette party. She quickly saw herself on Randolph's desk. He wasn't in the picture; it was just an illusion symbolizing temptation. She was scantily clad, waiting for whoever was about to enjoy her. She'd obviously agreed to what was to come, and from the look in her eye she was about to enjoy it herself. Barb then saw herself leaning forward enjoying the male dancer's cock in her mouth. Damn her, she was certainly no better than Randolph: she was just as bad! She was not a loyal partner to Jack; she was like Randolph: a partner in crime against him.

Despite what she knew from Jack, Barb liked Randolph. Their talk lasted quite a while. She liked his reasoning even if she disagreed. If he was capable of reason, then there was a chance of reasoning with him. There was no reasoning with stupidity, panic, emotion, or dogma. Randolph seemed like someone who would use those things to his company's advantage instead of someone ruled by them. Better yet, Randolph seemed to be in control of himself. While Barb liked him more and more, she knew she'd never end up on his desk. So why was she reminding herself of the women who ended up there, was she doubting her resolve?

Barb stared at the desk. It wasn't her resolve fading. It was guilt; she'd let Jack down before. Now she knew Randolph had too. She looked at the framed picture of Randolph's wife atop that same desk he sometimes took a company perk for himself. Randolph was a player in all sorts of ways. Barb wondered if he was a confidant, secretly on Jack's side, leading her out of trouble, or a scoundrel seducing her into it?

Barb shuddered again. She left Randolph's office wondering how to be loyal to her husband and be part of Jack's solution, not his problem.