A Heart's Desire

Isn't life and love a complicated thing? Especially when you have both mixed at the same time.

They say life is worthless without love and that love makes life worth living. If this is the truth; why do I sit here looking at my complicated situation, wondering where my life is going to go?

Anyway; my name is Mary. I live a normal life, self-doubt, stress, work, kids, going through a divorce and starting my journey, again. I have one issue though, a want for attention and love. I know that I don't need these things; yet these thoughts take over my mind daily. The thought of someone looking at me as though I am the most beautiful thing on earth with the desire of a pack of lions at lunch time.

I never thought myself to be a selfish person, until now. I have the love of two people; Alex and Laura. Alex is a good man; tall, fair and the opposite of my ex-husband, Ben. The only thing Ben and Alex have in common is their jealousy and want to control me.

The second love is Laura. She was my partner when I was a teenager. The stereotypical love of two teenagers trying to find who they are and, in the process, believing it was with each other. The love that parted and neither of us saw each other for years; until now.

Yet, even knowing that two people love me with all their heart; my mind is elsewhere. There is someone I want and as the typical tragic story goes; that someone you shouldn't want and can't have. This doesn't mean that the chase will not be worth it. His name is James. Tall, dark and handsome. Whenever I see him, my heart skips and jumps. His smile can light up ten rooms; and when he looks at me, I could light up an empire. Obvious to all except him.

I first saw James at a garden party that I had attended with Alex. It was an evening of fun and laughter amongst friends that had turned into an intense sexual desire within minutes.

His eyes were shining, and his body stance was of a confident man. A man who knew what he was doing. His behaviour and actions spoke of a man that could easily take your soul, fuck it to death and hand it back with you still wanting more.

Although I was sitting next to Alex, I was in a world of fantasy. Looking and James' hands and muscular arms wondering if they were soft or tough working hands. I found myself drifting to thoughts of them running along my body, teasing my breasts and making their way down to my sex. I felt a sudden rush flowing throughout me of pure pleasure. My thoughts were not stopping there. They were teasing me to want to touch them to see which way my body would be tormented. Soft glides of velvet or working hands rush.

As I am thinking of what I would like him to do to me, I wake up from my dreamy thoughts and realise that he was looking at me and that I was staring at him! A heat ran across my face that made it obvious to everyone what I was thinking.

Alex looked at me with an "I get it" stare and everyone carried on with the party laughter. I needed to get up and wipe away my own personal embarrassment.

I returned to the garden and to my disappointment, me and Alex were now leaving the party; it was obvious that Alex had seen my mind turn into a whore. I gave friendly hugs to all that I knew there and went to leave; wanting James to ask where his was. He did not ask, but, to my surprise, he wrapped his arms around me, and I returned the gesture. With the might of a thousand wolves, I tried my hardest not to run my hands down his back and cup his arse. Without thinking, I began running my hand from his shoulder down his centre spine. As I reached the bottom of his spine, Alex called me to leave. FUCK! What am I doing? What is this man doing to my mind and body? This is ridiculous!

When me and Alex were back at his house; I phoned Ben to say goodnight to the kids. Ben junior had finally lost a tooth and Lily was already asleep. Alex wrapped his arm around me from the back and started kissing my neck. My body melted into this action. If anyone was going to stop me from concentrating; this was the way. I hurriedly told Ben that Ben junior had rugby practice tomorrow and ended the call. Still kissing my neck, Alex run his hands from my hip to my breast; cupping the right one and using his left hand to run down the centre of my body straight down to my sex. My body naturally arched to give him more access. The teasing of his kisses and heavy breathing along my neck along with the breast torment and his fingers gliding between my already wet vagina made my body want more. I turned towards him and kissed him with a voracity that shocked both of us. Alex took my heat as an opportunity to delve within my sexuality. He spun me back around and his already grown cock slid between me with ease. I bent down, hands flat on the floor, legs spread and my sex and arse in the air allowing more access to Alex and his trusts. Alex came with a loud moan and collapsed upon my back; regaining his breath. I stood upright turned and left to shower. The cascading water upon my body did not help cool my thoughts or my disappointment to what had just been promised and not given. I climbed into bed, next to a sleeping Alex and lay there thinking about everything that had happened that evening. My mind froze on the feeling of James' stance in front of me; the strong masculine curve at the bottom of his spine and the sweet smell of Bergamot and patchouli that filled his presence. My body needed a release of pleasure before it would allow me to sleep! With these thoughts around my mind; I found myself gently teasing my clit, heightening my physical excitement to match my thoughts. As I became increasingly aroused, my vagina produced more of my juices. I became quicker with my tantalizing play, stroking back and forth, while circulating my clit. I felt my body trembling with pleasure and a small moan slipping through my lips. I bit down on my bottom lip to quieten any further notice to my arousal and continued to heighten what had been hidden over the last few hours. With a built-up pleasure, I released my contained excitement and came hard and fast; making myself dizzy and relaxed at the same time.

A few months went by where on occasion I saw James. Playful banter and teasing were exchanged. I started to be comfortable that I could be in his presence and not completely melt; looking forward to the hug before he or I left.

Over the next few weeks, me and Alex were having issues arise over control and him not liking me drink or see my friends. This has happened too many times. I couldn't take anymore. I had to exit this relationship before it turned into another long-ass breakup. like me and Ben.

Later that evening, Alex phoned to meet and talk, and I agreed to see him the following morning. After lengthily conversation, I made it clear that I would still be his friend and that would be all there was to it. I left on the belief that this was where we had both agreed to be. If I had known what would have happened back then, I would have parted completely.

Over a week went by and messages were being sent all day, every day to me from Alex.

I must tell him to his face that this is not appropriate as friends.

"PING." My phone again!

"For fuck's sake!" I slammed the door behind me as I walked into the house.

Ragnar jumped and Louise looked at me. "What has he done now?" she asked, without even needing to question if it was a person or something that had happened.

"I finished with Alex." I went to continue; but Louise interrupted. "Yeah, we know."

I glared at her. "Yeah, I know you know! Anyway." I continued. "He will not stop texting me. I don't want to be rude, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea. So, I went to see him."

Louise's eyebrows did the upward "yeah, and" motion.

"I told him where we stood, and I left it at that. Thinking that this was the right thing to do. Now, I have his friends messaging me and being funny towards me that I have broken his heart and asking why I would do this to him. They can't talk, they don't know what happened!" I am furious at this point. I was interrupted by my phone ringing. It was Ben. "Hey, Ben, are you on your way yet?"

"Y-yeah, about that. I err. I..." He answered.

What the fuck now? "Where are you? Where's Ben junior and Lily?" I asked quite panic like.

"Well, I have bought tickets to a show. It is a weekend deal. I hope you don't mind?" He sounded a little sheepish.

I held my hand in the air, waving it about like a mad woman. "Why did you not ask me before you bought the tickets? What if I had something planned? It's my weekend with them!"

Ben has the kids every other weekend. He wanted to collect them from school today to take them to his mothers. Now he tells me that he has made plans. Typical Ben.

It was silent for a moment. "Yeah, I know. Do you have plans? The kids really want to go." I could hear them cheering in the background.

"Fine. Along as they aren't tired for school on Monday." I sighed. "Put them on loudspeaker." Ben did this. "Have a good time, my babies and don't forget your teeth. I love you both and be good for Daddy." I heard them tell me they loved me back and I hung up.

I looked over at Louise with a sad expression on my face.

"Fuck me girl, you need a drink and some you time." Louise stated. I nodded with exhaustion.

I jokingly stated; "What I need is a good man between my legs!" We all started to laugh. "Well..." she went on; "I don't know of a good one, but there are plenty around. Just not mine." We laughed again.

That evening, we had a few of our friends around for a drink, good music and a game of cards. It was going well, and I had relaxed quite a lot. Louise was right, I just needed to enjoy myself a little bit. Rather than just being a good mother, ex and workaholic.

Just then, the door opened and the hairs on my neck stood up to the draft. I had my back to the door and didn't see who it was that had come in until;

"Did anyone forget my invite?" A deep joking voice that I knew too well asked.

I turned around and it was him. James is here. Dressed in his work clothes, yet still looking dashingly handsome. He had popped in to see that Violet (Louise and his daughter) was still going to his house over the weekend.

"And, here I thought you were here to see me, now that I am single." I jokingly added.

James smiled; "Maybe I did." As he helped himself to a can.

Good grief, he has made me blush, smile and melt with one simple answer. FUCK!

The next couple of hours were filled with drinks and laughter. More of my attempts at flirting and banter. It was a good night. I do, however have work tomorrow.

"Right, I am off for a shower and bed. Some of us need to be up and fresh in the morning." I stood and walked towards the stairs.

I came out of the shower and into my room. There he was, sitting on the end of my bed! I stopped to ask why he was there, then decided to say nothing. A braised thought came to mind. "Fuck it." Slipped from my mouth. Oops!

He looked at me; "Fuck what?" He smiled.

As he said this, I dropped my towel to the floor. After all, he is in my bedroom, not the other way around. I looked over at him; now sheepishly, trying to decide if that was a good idea or not. I chose that moment to grab my silk nightdress to cover my shameful move. "That was a bold move for you!" I thought to myself. Secretly hoping that I had caused good attention.

I walked towards my bed, not taking my eyes from him. I stood still for a moment at the edge of the bed in front of him. His eyes looking me up and down. Maybe he wanted me to make a move? I held either side of his shoulders to brush past the door behind me, to get into bed. To my joyous surprise, his hands slid up my thighs like velvet chocolate. "Mm." escaped my lips as I bit down on the bottom one.

As he looked me deep into the eyes, I felt a tremble run through my body. I knew I wanted him, but is this really happening? My mind was in turmoil.

My inner slut took over and I climbed onto his lap. His jeans were cold, yet comfortable. Maybe the cold would cool my lady slut down! His hands continued to slide up around my ass; giving it a playful squeeze. My hip decided to move slightly as to give him more access to my body. To my delight, he continued his teasing hands from my ass, up my sides and to my breasts, with his thumbs teasing and the fabric that was between them and my nipples. My mind was more than ready for anything that came next. My body naturally slivered upwards and I was balancing on my knees. With this action, he grabbed the side of my neck with one hand and used the other to pull my hip back down onto his lap; giving a little hip movement with it that sent my body aching for more. I took this action as a welcoming to play and whispered in his ear; "I want you."

"Mm, I know." He whispered back with a smirk, as he picked me up and threw me down onto my bed. "Just getting a drink, I will be back in a minute." As he turned and left my room.

Part of me thought that he wasn't coming back and that his escape was a drink, another wondered if he needed a drink to have sex with me and another part thought "hey, if he needs a drink to have sex with you, let him; at least you can feel what you want, without awkwardness."

Just in case he wasn't really interested, I crawled up my bed and lay along it with my arm folded on the pillow, head resting upon my arm and my legs swaying side to side and playfully twisting my hair. I looked towards my door; James was standing looking at me with a can in his hand. I looked at him with welcoming eyes; hoping they screamed come here then. As I willed it, he walked in, placed the can on the chest of draws and slowly lifted his shirt over his head; showing his muscles flex as he did so. With my eyes scanning his body with a heat; I was fixated on his chest hair that was followed by a kissable line towards his hip. His jeans were slightly baggy, so I could see the "V" at the top of his thighs above the hem of the jeans. I could feel my sex moistening with him standing in front of me. Without taking his eyes off me, he unfastened the button and then the zip on his jeans; they fell to the floor with ease. To my surprise, he stood out of them and folded them up, placed them on the chair and repeated this action with his shirt.

He looked like he was questioning what I wanted him to do next; yet he carried on with his teasing, as though he didn't have any questioning of what he was going to do next. As he lay beside me on the bed, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in close. I mirrored this action with a relief that he wanted to be within my presence. Unsure of if this was a cuddle or the start of something, I looked up at him and smiled.

"Are you ok?" His husky and velvet voice asked me.

Feeling Braised, I wrapped my legs within his and wiggled into him, not taking my eyes off his. I rubbed my hand up his left arm, to the top of his shoulder and gently back down again. James smiled and then leant his neck forwards as to go for a kiss, yet he didn't fully comply. Impatient, I stretched my neck and went the extra couple of inches to reach his soft, loving lips. As I did this, his hands slid up my leg from the knee to the top of my thigh. I wiggled again with appreciation and consent for my want of him.

My body is screaming at me, and my mind is screaming for him! Have I not shown this man that I want him? Maybe I haven't been forthcoming enough? Or maybe he has realised that this isn't what he wants? So may questions going around my head during such a wonderful moment. I really do wish my mind would stop over thinking things! After all, the action of a kiss and the embrace that we had felt amazing, I would love to lay like this forever with him. Anything more would be a bonus.

The excitement running through my mind and body made me shiver. James looked down my body, making my mind run even faster with want.

Looking back up at me, "Are you cold?" He asked. Playing the innocent, I nodded. With that, he lifted the quilt and wrapped us both with it; him now above me. I could not help myself; I ran my hand up his spine and across his shoulders. I needed to touch him; I wanted to show him that I thought him to be the fittest man in the world.

His lips touched mine with a soft, tantalising action; with a swift motion, I was now on top of him. I could feel his sex harden beneath me; I didn't want to ride him, yet. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to tease him. I wanted to show him how much I wanted him.

"Where are you going?" James asked with a smile on his face; as I was slithering down his body. I looked at him; a playful smirk across my face and a blink of, "Where do you think."

With my body in the right spot to take him whole in my mouth; I teased his shaft with my left hand, holding his hip with my right; and slowly took the tip of him within my mouth. A small gasp of appreciation escaped his mouth; as he made himself more available to me. Teasing the tip of his manhood with my tongue; I greedily swallowed even more of him. Slowly running my tongue up his shaft and then teasing the tip; I used my left hand to slowly rub along the bottom of his hard shaft. Quickening my mouth action and my tongue swirling; I looked up to see if James wanted this. "Come here." He asked, firmly, yet soft.

I did as I was asked; I crawled back up to him; eyes now meeting each other's.

Without thought or any time to glare, he rolled me onto my back, him now on top of me. He ran his fingers across my face and down to my hip. With impatient excitement running through my veins, I wrapped my legs around him and allowed all access to my sex.

Needing no further encouragement, he thrusted his hard, long dick into me. A shiver ran through my body at an uncontrolled speed. I have wanted James so long now, that now he is with me, my mind and body cannot take control of themselves!

The feel of his body against mine, the thrusting within my sex and the heat of passion running through me was tantalising. Holding onto the headboard, he thrusted harder and deeper. His breathing now a teasing moan.

Just as I was getting my head into gear that he was here, with me; he looked down my body, smirked and crawled smoothly down my body. Parting my legs with his elbows, he began teasing my clit with his thumb. I could feel my body reacting to his touch, I could feel my body wanting more. With a small chuckle; his tongue swooped across my sex and swirled my clit. My body igniting as he did.

I never thought I could want him more than I did; yet, as he is teasing all my senses, I know that I can.

I could feel my leg start to twitch; I could feel the build-up of excitement ready to explode. His head lifted from in between my legs; his fingers now in place of his tongue. Without realising it, my legs must have been tightening around his neck with all the build-up brewing even more.

My body now needing a release; I moved his hand slightly to where I knew it would make me pop quicker. I was becoming impatient with my own body holding all this excitement in. I then started to worry; maybe he thinks that he isn't doing it for me; or have I upset him that I moved his hand? Great, now I have that running through my head!

At that moment, he came back up the bed, slid his sex into me and started to thrust; deeper and harder this time. Bringing my legs up over my shoulders and my hands still clasping the headboard; He teasingly stated "Flexible little thing, aren't you?" The sound of his voice made my sex wet and wanting. I could feel the pulsating of my clit and the vibrational feeling running up and down my sex. My goodness, I really wanted to show this man what I can do. But I had a feeling that I might frighten him away.

I could feel each thrust making my body shake with want.

I didn't even think; I released my legs, pushed him down onto the bed and slid my sex over his. My thighs either side of his hips and I started to move. As I was riding, I thought I could feel him growing even bigger; either that, or my vagina was wrapped snug around him.

Matching my movements, I could hear his breathing and mine conjoined. I started moving faster; as he grabbed the headboard and threw his head deeper into the pillow. A cocky thought came to my head of "If you like this, you would love what else I can do." Smug bitch. I thought to myself.

My wet and greedy pussy decided to make my entire body tingle and shake. Moans of pleasure escaped my mouth; unwillingly.

With the sound of my gratification, James started pulsating inside me. Sexy noises of his gratification came from his lips; which made my body explode. My body going into a state of shock; my head pulsating to the same beat my fanny was and my mind completely spellbound. I collapsed by the side of him, as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close.

The following week, I checked my email and noticed that I had a message from an old friend. I was intrigued on what she wanted and quickly opened it. The message read;

"I know it has been a long time but, I am in the area and want to ask if you would meet me. After the way I left, I would not blame you if you ignored this message. I would really like to see how you are."

FUCK! I sat there without a movement for a while. What should I do? If I answer, does it look like I am too eager to speak to her? If I don't answer, I will always wonder what she wanted. Is she ok or unwell? Oh, my goodness. I sat there tapping my pen against my table. Just as I went to email back; I was startled by my boss standing behind me.

"We have only one week left for the main presentation." He boomed down my ear. I nodded with enthusiasm and continued with my work.

After my shift, I couldn't not want to know what she wanted; so, I emailed her back asking if she was okay. We continued emailing for a couple of hours and we agreed to meet each other.

I chose to wear a vest top and jeans, no make-up and trainers. We were meeting early in the morning at a café around the corner from my work.

As I walked into the café, I hadn't noticed that Laura was already there. I ordered a Late and a flapjack and took a seat in a booth close to the window. I heard her voice behind me, so I turned around.

Seeing her again brought back memories of a first true love. The love that you convince yourself is the only love you will ever have and the love you will never need off another; only them. I hadn't realised or prepared for these feelings to return. For a woman whose job it is to study, prepare, revise, complete and prepare for anything else that could happen after; I came prepared for everything, but my emotions. As she came sliding into the booth facing me, I could remember how she felt and how she made me feel back then. I saw images of when I first met her and the last memory of her before we lost contact. The smile that she gave me was one of love and of time never lost; as though we hadn't been apart at all.

"Hey, I didn't think you were going to show up. It's so good to see you again, Mary." Laura stated with a huge smile.

I didn't want to be awkward and the only reply on the spot was; "Why would I not turn up? I am as nosy as you are, you know."

With a laugh she replied; "Yeah, I remember. I remember well."

Small talk was never our thing, and it seemed that it still wasn't. We spoke of things that had happened over the last year; alone, this was a lot to take in.

"I am travelling around the world, and I have seen some beautiful places, Mary. I would love to show you some one day. I think you would like some of them." She smiled again and went to reach for my hand.

I didn't move my hand; I let her hold it and just looked at her eyes. I was searching for what she had planned and to see where she was going with this action. Was it friendly, or was it more to her? Thinking about it, what did I think this was? My brain is in a weird place right now and I didn't know how to react. "I would like that." Is my only reply. I need to leave, the air is heavy, and my heart is pounding. What the fuck? "Well, anyway, I need to go to work. Catch you another time?" I lied out my arse; work wasn't until 10am and it was only 9am.

She looked disappointed, yet, I had to leave. "Oh, okay. Message me later?"

I nodded with a smile, picked up my bag and stood up to leave. As I went to walk past her, she grabbed my waist and pulled me close. Staring at her ocean blue eyes; I felt my heart jump. I could feel her hips along mine, swaying while she had me in an embrace. I dropped my bag and wrapped my arms around her, my right arm at the top of her hip and my left arm by her shoulders. I have missed her, and she has always been my first love; and my only love with the same sex. I didn't know whether to cry, smile or collapse. I chose to let go and turn towards the exit.

While at work, I had feelings of embarrassment, excitement, lust, want and wonder. I was embarrassed that I lied and that I secretly wanted something to happen right there and then in the café; excited to see Laura again and my presentation was going live in two days' time; lust of the touch that I knew she had, lust of James and obviously Alex; the want for all three's touch and the wonder if any of them were thinking the same way about me.

"Have you managed to transfer scripts to head office?" My boss again made me jump.

I started to bring up files that I had sent over to head office to show Victor that I wasn't just sitting on my arse daydreaming. "These files here are the ones that I have sent up already, I am editing the next three files, and I will re-type the other four; there is crucial information missing from them."

He looked stressed as he replied; "Good, how long..."

Before he could finish what, he was saying; "They will all be done by the end of today, Victor."

With a "Good" and a sigh, he walked away; "Don't forget about coffee with the Michaelson family."

Oh, Shit! I did forget that. They are the family that we are presenting for; their business is of multi million, and everyone wants them to go to their company for presenting their new products. Luckily for me, they chose me to help them. I am good at what I do; if I say so myself.

Before I knew it, it was time to see the Michaelson family.

I wasn't nervous, as I knew I was good at my job; yet, when me and Victor walked into the barista, I saw Mr. Michaelson stand to our presence. His rugby shaped shoulders led to a small waist. He wasn't a very tall man, but he was toned. Dressed in a navy suit and tie, polished black loafers and his hand stretched out as a greeting. I shook his hand as I laid my presentation folder and laptop down onto the table. Sitting next to him was his accountant, Carlos Williams; next to him was Mr. Michaelson's wife Deborah. Deborah is tall, thin and blonde; proper Barbie type looks about her; nose in the air as though to say that she wasn't interested in being seen with any of "us." Carlos was even shorter than Mr. Michaelson; in a grey suit and nude, polished boots.

The formality of this "coffee" meeting made me wonder if my black pencil skirt and white shirt was formal enough. It was then that I began to feel nervous.

"Mr. Michaelson, Mrs Michaelson, Mr Williams." Victor shook hands of everyone present.

"Call me Richard. Please." Mr. Michaelson laughed and directed us to be seated.

Ten minutes into the presentation, I saw a message notification from Laura. I couldn't read it, as I was working with a client.

"This is where I believe your product will make the biggest hit, to grab the attention of Laura. Err, sorry. To grab the attention of the wider public." I can't believe I have just messed up in front of a client! She had sent me another message, and I wanted to see what she had put. Victor looked at me with "What the fuck" eyes.

Richard joked; "So, this Laura, is she the public or a very important lady to my presentation?"

I went blood red and apologised. "Another client." I quickly added. We all laughed, luckily.

The meeting came to an end and everything was agreed. Paperwork to be written and signed the following day.

To celebrate my achievement; me, James, Chloe and Cassey decided to go out for a drink. Louise wasn't feeling up to going out, so she had a night in with Ragnar.

We chose a club within the centre of the city; a classy bar that is the size of a train station, bouncers outside and inside, red leather booths, bar men and waitresses dressed in suits and every drink you could think of.

We looked good as we stood at the bar; Chloe wearing high waisted trousers that showed her fabulous ass and a bodysuit that covered her perky breasts, yet still you could imagine what they looked like; her high stiletto heels showed her body figure off more. Her shoulder length blonde, wavy hair shaping her beautiful facial features. Cassey is wearing a little black dress that clung to her body, showing her natural beauty, with heels that had leather straps wrapping around her tall, soft legs. Her deep brunette hair cascading over her breasts and down her body were in tight ringlets.

James was wearing a shirt, that showed off his natural muscles, jeans that showed his tight arse and his favourite brown boots. Tonight, he is wearing his flat cap, most probably questioning this idea due to his hair not sitting right when he takes it off.

I am wearing a black wiggle dress; clinging to my hourglass figure, breasts sat within a sweetheart neck and court heel shoes. My hair is curled and clipped up at the back, showing the full length of my neck, with a strand of curl either side of my face to add a little class.

James asked; "What are you having to drink, ladies?"

"A bourbon and coke for me, please." I answered. Chloe asked for her usual "Disaronno for me." and Cassey; "Pick a cocktail, any cocktail" and we all laughed. He summoned the bar man; "A bourbon and coke, Disaronno on ice, Daiquiri and a Guinness, please mate."

After a couple of drinks and a sing along moment; we decided to join the dance floor. James looked after our drinks and the booth that we were in. As three of us were owning our own bodies out on the dancefloor; I looked at James, he was laughing at us! I didn't really care if we looked good or silly, we were having a good night.

I left the floor, needing to pee. The toilets were fantastic; huge mirrors along open sinks, the smell of vanilla filling the room and cubicles that were fresh and spacious. Once out of the ladies, I decided to grab myself another drink at the bar.

As I looked over to the dancefloor, I watched James dancing, sandwiched between Chloe and Cassey; my desire for him grew as my mind wondered to how they moved and how happy he looked. The look on his face was so grand that I could feel my heart and my sex throb. Watching women fall at his feet always made me wonder if he knew what he was doing or if he was oblivious to how he makes others feel. He looked over at me as though to say, "is this ok" either that or "yeah, I know I'm fit as fuck, and I can get what I want; are you watching?" The answer to both would be "Fuck, yeah." What he didn't know is that I was getting off on watching them. Every part of James' body was being rubbed up and down by these two sexy bitches; gliding and moving around him like snakes. Their bodies curved in all the right places; clearly knowing how to show their sexy. For a moment, I drifted into a thought of him rubbing his hands between one of them; while looking at me to show his handy work. To tease me right in front of a club full of people; knowing that this would make me uncomfortably wet. Part of me then wondered what did they feel like? I could imagine running my hands down their bodies; just to see what makes them tick. Then the thought arose; would I then stand back and watch James finish the torment I would like to have started? Would I have been greedy and wanted to taste them for myself and then continued my work until they couldn't take any more? Or would I want to watch them complete what they wanted this night to end like? Hmmm, my thoughts were endless. Damn, my body is on fire and my underwear is wetter than a Fisherman's flip flop!

As the night came to an end, I left the club without even hugging James goodnight. All day I have wanted his touch, even for a moment. Yet, with how my body was reacting, I wouldn't want it to end with just a hug, and I wasn't going to jeopardise a friendship due to my own teasing mind. For fuck's sake, what is wrong with me?

As I walked sulkily into my house, I threw my coat, bag and keys down the side of the sofa and collapsed into the soft cushions that lay upon it. My mind still spiralling from the hotness of James, Chloe and Cassey that evening in the club, the thoughts of James and what I really wanted him to do to me and the thoughts of the love from Laura and what I know she can do and what I know I can make her body react to. My thoughts were disrupted by the sexual pleasure that my house mate was getting from her boyfriend. Oh, great. My own mind is in between places of sexual heat and now I can hear my best friend get off. I have never thought of her as someone who I would like to fuck; she is drop dead gorgeous; yet I love her as a friend. Yet, my audible senses are teasing me now with her pleasurable moans.

The following morning, Louise and Ragnar came downstairs and startled me.

"Fancy a cuppa?" Ragnar aimed this comment at me.

Sleepily I replied; "Yes, yes please." I had fallen asleep on the sofa.

Louise, full of life and shining bright was swaying around the kitchen. "Good morning!" she exclaimed. "I am in a fantastic mood." With the world's biggest grin.

"Yeah, I heard." I replied with an eyebrow raised and a smirk on my face.

Ragnar interrupted our gaze at each other; "Well, if you are going to do it, do it right!" He said with a smile.

Just like his name; he had a very Viking style look going on. It suited him.

With a naturally muscular build, slight tan and tattoo's; you can see he is a pure male role. His long auburn hair tied in 3 tight plaits along the scalp, and flowing down his back and a beard that was long, yet tidy.

Before I could stop myself; "maybe we will plait your beard one day, Ragnar."

As he handed me the as promised cup of hot, steamy tea; he smiled and replied; "Maybe, in your dreams." As I looked him in the eyes, I notice he has light blue almost grey eyes that sparkled like diamonds. I had never taken notice to this before. No wonder Louise sank deep into them. As I turned to look at Louise; now more awake than ten minutes ago; I notice she is wearing an emerald, green top, that seemed to caress her breasts like a pair of hands holding a new born. They showed her firm, voluptuous girls off well. Her silky, long, red hair flowing just over them. She leaned towards Ragnar for a morning kiss and showed the full hourglass curve of her body. Her ass was perfectly shaped, and her jeans showed the woman she is. A body that everyone likes to look at; and a body everyone wants.

"What are you staring at? Do I have something on my ass?" Louise directed at me.

I giggled; "Yes, a pair of jeans!"

"Ha, ha. Very funny." She replied while searching for a lighter. "Has anyone seen my lighter? I am sure I left it here last night."

As always, Ragnar had one available. Her pale blue eyes light up with pleasure, as he hands her his lighter. You could always tell with Louise if she was happy, sad or angry by her eyes. They have a darker circle around the iris; so, it brings out the colour more prominently.

"So, what, or should I say who are you thinking about today?" She asked, playfully, yet with a curious grin.

"Nothing and everything. You know me." Is all that I could think to say.

She looked at me with a "that's the problem" type of look.

"I do know that I don't know what I am doing today. What are you two thinking of doing today?"

Ragnar looked at Louise and they both giggled.

I looked at both, smirked and drank down my tea.

"Well, on that note, I will get ready to go 'somewhere' then." I playfully winked and left to wash and dress.

In the shower, I remembered that I hadn't phoned Laura to tell her how my presentation went. I unlocked my phone to notice five missed calls, three messages and a voicemail from her. Oops. I phoned her the moment I exited the shower.

"Hey, how are you? What happened last night? I tried calling." Laura stated the obvious.

I held my hand over my head and told her about the presentation, how it went (leaving out the Laura part); and going out last night. I had to cut the conversation short; as I needed to get ready for collecting Ben junior and Lily from Bens, and I knew that if I didn't come away from the call; I would be late.

Once I had collected the kids, I phoned Laura to ask if she wanted to catch up while taking Ben junior and Lily on a picnic in a field near a playground. I wanted company, and I didn't want to read a book today. Louise was working, unfortunately. Plus, it gives me the excuse to see her again. Laura was delighted.

While the kids went to play, we talked about old times and the laughs that we had together.

Lily came running over towards me; she informed me that she needed to pee, so I took her behind some trees. When she finished, she ran to play with the others and as I turned around, Laura was there. She parted my legs with her left thigh and started rubbing it between my legs. I looked at her wide eyed, not wanting her to stop, yet I knew that if she didn't, where it would lead. Could I allow this again? What if it opened emotions that I didn't want re- opening? What if I am left with another heartache? Should the past love stay in the past? Or was this the right moment that we are to be together again? "But you like dick." my brain shouted at me. Yet, with her hands now following where her thigh was, I can't help but remember our nights together.

I pushed her hand from within my thighs, turned us both around, pushed her against the tree and returned the favour to Laura with my hands. As she threw her head back, I teased a little more. "Look at me." I demanded in an almost silent whisper. She did as I asked.

"Is this what you messaged me for?" My hands went inside her trousers as I played with her clit. I then pressed by hip and body weight against her, while rubbing back and forth along her wet sex.

With her mouth open, "Yes and no." was her response. "I just wanted to see you again. I feel bad that we left things the way that we did. I am sorry."

She has mentioned this a few times. A conversation of how she left and why. "I know, I don't blame you. We were kids." I stated as I removed my hand from her trousers. I went to walk away. She grabbed my arm, which pulled me straight into her embrace and we kissed vigorously. Our tongues dancing around each other's, my hands on her hips and hers my waist.

"Mummy, Mummy." I heard Lily shout. "Can I go with Ben to the playground?" She must have run across the field. She was red in the face.

I smiled and nodded; "We will be going in ten minutes."

"You're the best." She turned and ran, laughing.

Laura came home with me and the kids. Louise and Ragnar had left a note; "Off to the movies, James has Violet. Catch you later."

"Right, you two little monkeys. Bed." I directed to Ben and Lily, as I chased them up to their rooms.

I returned to the kitchen, filled the kettle and started to make tea. As I turned to see if Laura wanted one; she was stood behind me. Rubbing from my wrists up to my shoulders and then cupping my neck.

"I am sorry that it took so long, I wasn't brave enough to message you. I thought you hated me." She stated as her thumb rubbed my cheek.

I didn't really know what to do; so, I reverted to what I know best in situations that I don't know what to do. Sex and physical touch. After all, she should remember that I never did like arguments, I prefer sex. This was one good point to our relationship; we both agreed on this fact years before.

I pulled her close, so our bodies were basically one. My left hand on her ass and my right-hand sliding threw her hair. As I reached the centre of her head, I gave her hair a tug, looked her in the eyes and then blew gentle air along her neck. She submitted to this action. I ran my hands down the side of her body, staring into her eyes the whole time.

Laura took my look as my consent as she kissed me with a passion that only she has ever shown me. I felt every fire burn through me; as though we had never stopped loving each other. I was both confused and liberated. My heart pounding while wondering why I felt this way, she has been the only woman I have ever loved or been interested in sexually. My mind running through so many thoughts, yet enjoying her touch, again. I threw my neck backwards to give her access to my neck. Running her fingers from my ear to my breast, my body wanted more.

"Fuck the tea, you are coming with me." I held Laura's hand and pulled her toward the stairs.

Looking at me with passion in her eyes; "Are you sure?" She asked.

I gave her the look that she knew all too well. The look of "Do you need to ask and if you ask again, it will be a no. So, get the fuck over here!"

Without hesitation, she followed me to my bedroom. I stood there for a moment, waiting to see if Laura would make a move. I wanted reassurance from her that it wasn't just me that wanted this intimacy to go ahead. I was unsure if I was being too forceful or pushing for what was in the past. Maybe I was. Maybe I should re consider. As my mind started playing games with me again, Laura grabbed hold of my waist; "You look gorgeous. You are a beautiful woman, Mary. You should have been my first wife."

She was looking at me with fire and want; the eyes of someone filled with desire. I know that look all too well.

All I could answer was, "First wife, yes. Beautiful; shut up." With an eye roll to go with it.

"Was that an eye roll? From you? I have not seen that before, come here." As she bit my bottom lip playfully. Her hands running under my dress. My heat made me impatient, and I took off my dress, wiggling my body as I did, showing every curve of my body.

"Oh, fuck off." Laura stood back and stared at me, biting her lip.

I teased; "It's a good job that I remember that is your 'Wow' speech and I haven't taken that literally!" As I laughed.

Before I could finish what, I was going to say; I was dragged into her embrace.

She held my left ass cheek and squeezed, as she kissed me along my neck. I threw my head back to give her more access and to show my appreciation of her act. With my mind spiralling from the feel of her embrace and my body trembling with want; I ran my fingers up and down her spine. A small growl escaped her partially open lips, followed by a powerful and passionate kiss. Tongues twining together and a heat flowing between us, it was obvious that the lust that we had before was still present, even all these years later. I was pulled towards the energy that was flowing within us, and it took over all sense of knowledge and reality. I started to move my hips to show that I wanted more, she didn't need any other direction to what I wanted. Her hand slipped between my legs and with one full, gentle sweep she teased my sex. A gentle sigh of excitement breathed down her neck as she looked into my eyes and saw the lust flowing within me. Lifting me, she placed me lovingly on the bottom of the bed: her eyes sparkling and loving, not leaving mine. My heart sank with how she was looking at me; as though I was the only person in the world, let alone in this room. My body ignited as she stated; "I love you."

Unsure what I was feeling, I kissed her hard and lustfully. My fingers digging into her hip, wiggling mine as a response to my greedy thoughts. She knew without saying a word to continue with her tantalizing play.

Teasing my left nipple between her soft, cold fingers and circling my clit in unison, I caught myself staring into her eyes. They were full of wonder, sexual heat, frustration and longing; as though she had waited for this moment and was full of excitement because it was finally happening. I knew this look all too well.

Moving in unison with her play, I felt a build-up of my own excitement. My body enjoying and craving her more. After all, I know what she is capable of!

"Do you want me to stop baby?" She said in a tone of playful torment and a grin within her eyes. This bitch has remembered my love for audiology!

With my own grin; "No, no, I don't want you to stop."

With an almost growl within her voice; "You like that, baby? Do you want more?"

Before I could answer, she slithered down onto her knees, spread my legs open further and took one sweep from ass to clit with her tongue. I instantly fell backwards in agreement to more. Placing the heels of my feet upon the bed, I pushed myself further upon the bed; being able to now relax my body to enjoy what was to come.

I felt her words along my sex as I heard her say, "I am going to eat you, I am going to eat you so much that you won't be able to stand."

The feel of these words along my sex was enough to send my mind into turmoil. With that, she swirled and licked my clit, occasionally licking along my opening. My body naturally moving in sync with her motions, I felt more build-up of excitement. Just as my body started to shake, she stopped, looked up at me and smiled. "Mm, my beautiful queen wants to cum? Does she?"

A moan of excited disappointment, I moan "mm, yes. Please, please don't stop."

She instantly went back to her electrifying play; again, my excitement building. As I started to shake and my body clenching, she entered me with her fingers. My body now full of pleasure, I could feel the euphoria in which I had once felt, and I came hard and fast. "Oh, FUCKKK!" I screamed as I clenched the sheets within my grasping hands.

I sat up to attention, grabbed her head and with virtuous passion, kissed her. She came up from her knees, climbed above me and giggled.

Wanting to repay the favour, I rolled her over and sat upon her thighs. I started to run my hands down her body, stopped at the hip and ran my fingers along the hem of her trousers. Her hips wiggled beneath me, and I knew that this was her consent for pleasure. I slid down her legs and removed the restriction in the form of clothing. I gave her a look of "are you ready?" And I was greeted with lustful and shining eyes of agreement. Remembering that she did not like penetration, I only ran my fingers around her clit and used the cup of my hand to rub back and forth her opening. With her own enjoyment building, my opportunity to now play with my tongue was here. Using only the tip of my tongue, I teased her clit, circling and flicking; first gentle and smooth, quickening my pace as I felt her body reacting. I paused, took one long, slow lick across her sex, with a teasing flick to her clit.

She grabbed my hair and held me in place. I knew the harder she squeezed my hair, the more she was building.

I inserted my tongue, deep inside her, while using my thumb to caress her clit.

"Fuck me." I heard her state. I looked up at her as though to question if I had heard that correctly.

Again; "Fuck me."

I inserted a finger within her and circled gently. Her head flew back with gratitude; "Oh, mm." She moaned. As, I inserted another finger. Moving my fingers in and out of her, she began to push upon them. I quickened my movements and circled within her at the same motions. I could feel her body tense. I chose to torment her even more by licking her clit at the same time as my finger movements. With her excitement growing, she finally let out a cry of pleasure; grabbing my head and pulling me up to kiss me passionately. My hip moving between her legs, she wrapped her legs around me tight; as though to stop. I knew she was enjoying this feeling; so, I carried on.

"Oh, fuck me, no." She screamed as she turned me over onto my back, pinned my arms above my head and kissed all along my neck. My body arching to her touch, I could feel my want grow again.

Another hour had flown by. "Shit, it's 4am!" I laughed as I looked at the time. "I am up at 6am!"

Laura laughed; "Well, you started it." She was smirking, laughing and looking little smug.

I had forgotten how satiable we were together. We didn't have an off button between us!

We curled up together. My arm wrapped around her neck; her head resting on my breasts, legs intertwined and a lot of thoughts running around my head; one being a song that resounded right now. Especially the line "Is God trying to teach me a lesson..."

I don't know what the future holds, but damn. It's crazy.

How did my love life get so confusing? The future that was planned with Alex was now the past; my past first love has now become the present and then there was James; where does he fit in? Fuck knows, my head hurts. For someone who never believed love could be for her, she has certainly attracted a mind full of it. At least; for now, Ben had finally realised that I wasn't going back to him!

The only things I know for sure; I am a good Mum, I am good at my job, I have the most wonderful friends and sex is the thing that makes the world go around; not love.