Paradise Lost - But Not Forgotten

Paradise Lost-

But not Forgotten

With a few strokes of the keyboard and a stab at the enter key, the real world around me fades into nothingness.

I open my weary eyes and look around. A feeling of sorrow begins to set in. It's all the same as I remembered it... imagined it... but yet... different. Before, there was a sense of anticipation and wonder at what I might discover on my visits here. This land of illusion and make believe. A place where wishes, dreams and fantasies coalesced into a reality all its own. All the colors of the rainbow existed here, even some that don't actually exist in the real world. Such is the power of imagination, especially when fueled and augmented by longing and desire for love and lust.

Now... now everything was pale and drab as if the whole creation were crumbling into dust. Looking up, there's a pale imposter of a sun weakly struggling to shine light through a drab overcast sky. Not really clouds, more like anemic memories of better times. Under my feet, a vaguely amorphous silt of dust crunches softly as I walk a few steps to the entrance of the Cafe Maya. The once neatly and brightly colored lettering on the sign faded and indistinct as the sign hangs from a single rusty chain over the doorway. I push the squeaky doors aside and step inside... my heart feels leaden as I gaze around the darkened room. Only a few of the small tables remain upright as if waiting for patrons to take a seat. The chairs, however, are all strewn about and broken like so much debris after a storm.

Once dimly lit by candles on every table this room held an air of romance and intimacy for those who ventured here in search of someone special. Now... it was just a lonely shadow of a time gone by, slowly being buried in dust and despair. It makes my heart ache for what might still have been. From across the room, the doorway that once led out onto the small outdoor patio dance floor, struggled to beckon fond memories of a happier time. As I strode slowly across the room towards the doorway, I imagined the music that once played softly for the lovers as they danced in warm embraces and explored their possibilities within this fantastic creation. The words and promises of unending endearment and love... But there is no music now, no murmured soft conversations or muted laughter... as if all the joy has been bled away... forgotten.

The trellises that surrounded the little patio have mostly fallen, and those that remained steadfast no longer supported the many fragrant and beautiful flowers that once grew around them. The flowers, like everything else have wilted, dried and crumbled to dust, only a few twisted and dried stems remain... as if boney fingers clawing for the life-giving sun. A sun that now dimmed and was shadowed by the gloom that hung about this place. As if all the love had gone out of the sun and only sadness remained. Sadness and memories of happier times.

Even the sound of the not-too-distant surf as it washed up on the beach seemed to be shushing. Perhaps stilled by the doldrums of loneliness. The gulls still turned and soared on the weak breeze overhead... but their once cheerful cries now sounded like disheartened lament. I step off of the patio dance floor and slowly amble to the waterline of the beach. Dejected, I lower myself to sit on the dry sand, my feet just over the line on the wet sand. I wonder, is the tide coming in, or is it going out? Not that it would matter, there's no one here to care either way. I look out over the water and see a fog. A billowing slow moving blanket of nothingness that seems to be creeping ever closer to the shore. A harbinger of the slow demise of this once happy place. With no joy, no happiness, no love... it simply cannot continue to exist. I hang my head and sigh.

There are no tears, only sadness and... longing. I will forever have the memories, and cherish them for the treasures they are. But so too, will I mourn the passing of this once vibrant happy place. ..... I will not say goodbye.... Hope always springs eternal. I will say farewell however, as the love once shared will always exist even if only a memory.