The Headhunter Chapter 5

The Headhunter

Chapter 5

Crossing the Rubicon

About ninety minutes later Barb was already in her bathrobe on the couch in the family room. This wasn't just any bathrobe, this was the comforting one she wore when it was really cold, or she was sick. This bathrobe was the surrogate for her youthful "blankie"; the robe to make everything feel better. Barb had her knees pulled in tight under her chin with her arms corralling them for reassurance.

Barb finally heard Jack's truck creak and rattle back into their driveway. She ran to the door as he was walking up the walk. She flew outside throwing her arms around him, scaring the poor man half to death.

She kept her arms around him, corralling him much as she had her own legs just a few minutes ago. She kept her arms around him in some fashion as he came in the house. It felt like trying to enter the door while wearing a life preserver.

"Hey Barb," Jack ventured with her head glued to his chest like an ungainly extra appendage. Do you perhaps have something to say or something to do?"

"Knowing your opinions on talk, I fear I'm burying myself by admitting I have something to say. Though I hope to do something afterwards." She rolled her eyes upwards to look him in the face, "I promise not to talk you soft, Jack."

He smiled at that. He chose what he hoped would be an appropriate word for both her words and following actions, "Shoot."

"Jack, our time on the job is also about making as much money as possible. By speeding up our departure you won't have the funds you need to succeed when you go."

His disappointment was obvious, "Well Barb, you've failed at your stated mission."

"What?" she said confused.

"You just talked me soft."

"Jack, I ah," Barb faltered.

Jack routed them back to what she seemed to be saying. His tone was stern, "My time there has to be full duration, eh? No chance for early parole at all?" He peered into her eyes. "I wish I could remember my crime." Barb was so stunned that Jack was able to peel her arms from around him. Barb was amazed seeing that Jack knew the score and still wanted out.

He walked off saying glumly, "You picked the wrong people to be faithful to."

It was happening again. She'd tried to communicate an important message only to have him walk off disappointed and disgusted that she wanted anything to do with that message. Barb couldn't let him get away again. She blurted the first thing that came into her head. "Where did you eat?"

She was hoping she was giving him what he wanted. A chance to rub it in her face. He'd probably gone some place fancy without her just to teach her a lesson.

He turned back to her with even more disgust evident, "The McDonald's dollar menu. A cold flat burger, tired fries, and four chunks of something approximating chicken." Barb realized Jack's disgust was now focused on both what passed for his dinner and that he'd eaten it.

She was incredulous. This wasn't what she expected at all. "Why did you eat there?"

His brows knit, "Because we're pinching pennies! I should have gone to the grocery store. McDonalds was a splurge because I was already so hungry."

When Jack saw Barb still didn't get it, he explained. "I pray you bought the drinks for your buddies with your company expense account. I'm doing my part too. Frankly, I think I'm sticking to your plan better than you are."

Barb's eyes darted for a moment then she rushed out, "I can handle the work. It's the double life that's killing me! I thought I was doing it well, until what you said about how inconsistent I've been lately. It's too much remembering what I tell everyone. Apparently, I can't even remember what I have or haven't told you. I pour myself into my work for solace too. I have a persona I can slip into at work that seems to cover all my backstories. But between the persona and keeping my cover stories straight I'm spending way too much energy at work."

He hit back, "Why would you alter my project timeline, why would do that? I understand what I'm doing for them better than they do!"

Barb answered quickly, "Because I'm doing my job, I'm management, just like you. I have to make it fit with other projects at other buildings too. It's only a small change, Jack. As you're only staying to implement your plan, you don't appreciate ANY interference, but if I hold a hard line to benefit you where I have no reason to, don't you think my bosses might start looking into why?"

Barb softened her tone, "I don't wear my wedding ring at work. I hate that! We agreed it was a necessary part of my "disguise". As screwed up and hypocritical as it is, they dislike management dating each other. A manager knocking off an hourly employee is seen as a perk. But two managers together could collude against the company -- just like we're actually doing. We aren't stealing from them, and we work like hell for them, but they want their managers to have ultimate loyalty to Global Priority, not each other."

Jack nodded working towards lowering his anger.

Barb understood his struggle. She understood how tremendously difficult this was for her husband day in and day out. "Their rule seems to work. I know I'm attractive. I don't know if they think I'm a lesbian or not, but they don't hit on me. They also don't ask about my husband or boyfriend, so were safe. If they discovered we're married, we'd both be fired without any recourse."

"So, where does that leave us?" Jack couldn't hide his disappointment in asking the question he already had the answer to.

"Our plan is working. It's finite, only lasting as long as it serves us. Until the day it doesn't, we're gainfully employed. We're stashing cash and living frugally. Our hobby is screwing each other's brains out. Please, if you have any frustrations take them out on me that way, just don't doubt me. I'll tell you why I make any deviation, you just need to know it will always be for OUR good."

Jack roughly ran his fingers through his hair, "I know I'm just ..."

"Driven crazy by the circumstance. I know. I've been living the fake persona too thoroughly too. I get it." Barb filled in after he stalled.

"I know you do. I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare apologize! This situation is unreasonable, it's outrageous. You're the one being backed in a corner and kept in the dark, while they throw accolades at me. The division head has told me to look after you as much as I can. Randolph's worried about you. I'm not getting a soft spot for him, but my honest opinion is he hates what happened to you.

Jack didn't believe a word about Randolph. He'd had his say and made his point. Further rehash would simply crater the talk and perhaps emphasize the wrong points. He decided to leave work at work and focus on his family at home, "Barb, I want to thank you."

"Then let's blow off some steam."

"What did you have in mind?"

She grinned lasciviously, "That I suck your brains out through your cock. Then when your ready again you fuck mine out the old-fashioned way."

"Deal."

"You pick the room."

Jack pushed Barb down to her knees "The best place to start any meaningful project is wherever you happen to be."

* * * * *

A Year and a Half into Their Plan.

Employees entered the plant one morning to find copies of a regional business magazine placed around the building. Barb's picture was on the cover, their building and team was the cover story. There were lots of group pictures of everyone with descriptions of how each work group was changing the way the huge corporation would run in the future. It was a fantastic team building enterprise. Morale was mile high. Excitement held the day, until someone realized there were no pictures of Jack. Further, there was no mention of Jack. His teams were all mentioned. His second in commands all pictured. Without his name being attached his processes were lauded and his vision extoled. Yet Jack was nowhere to be found.

Several project team heads approached Barb, they liked her and saw Jack's excising as a major issue. They were trying to help. Her reaction solidified their appreciation of her. As they explained the problem, they handed her a copy of the magazine. Barb was genuinely surprised to see it, especially her picture on the cover. Though she was clearly more concerned when they explained Jack's complete absence. She grabbed the magazine, rifling through its pages. Her body language oozed concern as a this-can't-be-right expression etched itself deeply across her facial features.

It was obvious to the others that Barb hadn't known anything about the article. That was a positive in this situation; if Barb hadn't known anything about the article, then she didn't know anything about keeping Jack out of it. They'd hate to think that rational, reasonable, hard-working, Barb was part of the fucking over of their original leader, Jack. Barb had always seemed to be in his corner, they were relieved to confirm the appearance wasn't a sham.

As Barb finished intently inspecting each page of the article for references to Jack, the arm that held the magazine fell limp at her side. Her other hand reached to rub her forehead. She uttered a faint, "Oh no" as she stared at the floor before she looked back up into her employees' faces. "This is already printed, it's too late for me to stop it or fix it. I-I didn't even know this was on the horizon." She ground her teeth lost in thought, "Why does this keep happening to Jack?" The group understood she wasn't asking them as much as asking the fates.

"So, you see it too?" One dared ask about Jack's predicament.

Barb's face turned so sad it preempted additional questions. "It's impossible not to." She handed the magazine back to them continuing to rub her forehead. "It's so unfair. He works so hard. This is all his baby." There was a pregnant pause before she thought aloud, "I-I don't know how to make this better." She shook her head, turned, and walked away.

Barb didn't realize she'd just cemented her place with the people she directed. She wasn't excited about being on the cover, she was concerned about Jack being slighted. In so doing she accidentally accelerated another problem. Although Jack wasn't happy about being kept out of the article, it was exactly the sort of thing he expected the company would do. However, finding his wife's popularity soar with the people he cared so greatly about as part of a direct slight to him, stung greatly.

Jack didn't know the chief reason for Barb's increased popularity was her very apparent loyalty to him. The employees working under Jack's direction hadn't bought into the article's propaganda that Barb was the catalyst of all positive change. Jack, however, only saw how easily he was displaced in everyone's eyes. People were open in their appreciation of Barb, only then seeing how it affected him. Jack had been so stalwart in his loyalty to them and the company, even after being passed over for promotion, that those who worked with him felt it their job to prop him up. Now they saw how their support of the person who had superseded him and was now being lauded for work mostly accomplished by Jack, affected him. He did it quietly, but as he built the corporation's mighty enhancement, he also began to build walls shielding him from the people he worked with most directly. Unhappily they came to see that they had unknowingly been his refuge, but that he now felt abandoned by them too.

The article was a master stroke by the corporation, without meaning to they had accomplished a major goal: Jack was now alone in a sea of four hundred thousand others. What made an impression on everyone was how strong a swimmer Jack was.

* * * * *

Jack was still a manager though he was going backwards while everyone else's career pace was hastened. He was normally put front and center of the manger's meetings because his work was the most important. The other managers were charged with fitting into what Jack was building. Jack would be the first report. He would give a general overview of their progress, then explain what it meant to each of the other managers directly. Jack would then walk to the back of the small room, pour himself a cup of coffee, sit and drink it slowly, while the rest of the meeting ignored him. He tried very hard not to pay attention to Barb or Randolph when they gave their reports. Barb had given him a role to play, at least he could play it well. After all, she appeared to be living her role.

Knowing that the next manager's meeting was the day after the magazine appeared Jack told Barb he intended to work late that night. As their personal relationship was still a secret, telling his superior his work plans on the shop floor effectively boxed her out of reacting. She sadly nodded and went home to eat alone.

Jack came home very late. Barb was naked in the sheets praying he would take the initiative. Earlier Barb used her security code to watch him on the plant security cameras on her laptop. Jack had checked some of the automated shifting panels that would redirect flow from one conveyor belt to another. He checked the sensitivity of the overhead scanners. Then he sat in the break room where he almost never went during the day, revising his plans that he spread over the large tabletops as if buoyed by the ghosts of better days shared with coworkers there.

When he came home Jack showered for a long while, then kept to his extreme edge of the bed. He had no use for Barb. He didn't want, or couldn't find, solace in her arms tonight. Barb hid that she was awake, pulling the pillow tight to mask her tears over how utterly alone Jack was.

The next morning Barb awoke to find Jack had already dressed and left in his loyal old truck to go to work. The only companion Jack had now was the system he was building. Barb stifled tears knowing when his baby was ready to toddle it would walk out of Jack's life too.

Barb starred at her feet as she sighed. Their plan was Jack's best chance at a happy ending, although Barb was now paralyzed with foreboding that they couldn't make it to fruition. Or that the end would come after Jack was too damaged to fully restore. The plan was taking too heavy a toll.

* * * * *

Each morning started with a quick team assemblies on the huge shop floor. There would be a quick briefing concerning everyone that normally lasted a sentence or two before the workers went to their stations. This morning Randolph walked in front of the assembled work groups on the shop floor before they peeled off to their daily assignments.

Randolph always seemed unflappable, so in control of the situation, so unruffled, no matter the situation. He had several mangers including Barb stand beside him. It looked like they were about to be awarded laurel leaves in some ancient ceremony. Randolph took point as always. Today he was jubilant, congratulating the groups on making the news. He held up several local newspapers that had picked up on the regional magazine article. Their building, their team, was being recognized for their hard work and success!

Unexpectedly there was a voice from the crowd. "Sir, Jack's not in the magazine, not a single mention, not a picture, not even in the background. We're a success because we're building his vision."

Randolph looked incredulous yet remained unflappable. "What? Are you sure?"

It was a darn good sales job, but Barb knew his tone. It told her Randolph knew all about it. Randolph said a few more words in mocked outrage. He turned the crowd enough to defuse the situation. Randolph was damned good at what he did.

When he turned away from the crowd, Randolph waggled his eyebrows at Barb. He leaned in to explain, "Anticipating a possible problem with the group, I okayed Jack's request to visit the company writing the software for the project today. If anyone wonders where he is, letting them know he requested his trip today should calm the waters." He smiled to himself stood fully tall, feeling he'd given a course in gamesmanship.

The news didn't brighten Barb's morning. That meant Jack knew yesterday he'd be out today and never mentioned it. She marveled at him though. The Manager's Meeting was primed to explode. Jack had found a way to sidestep it, lessening the volatility in the future. Now he'd done the same thing with the assembled employees. Jack was damn good at what he did, too.

Barb heard Randolph speaking again, "Jack's going over the last of the programing to minimize glitches when they eventually tie his baby into the rest of our national system. See to it he knows about the team's accolades when he gets back. He'll be gone all day though." Randolph hesitated, "If you need me to step in just say the word, I'll happily talk to him too."

'Shit,' Barb thought as she suddenly realized Randolph had spoken to the magazine to ensure Jack wasn't mentioned or shown. She felt ill, though she kept a happy façade as Randolph walked off.

* * * * *

The final chapter in the magazine episode played out that Friday. Barb had walked into a small canteen filled with coffee, drink, and snack dispensers and a few tables. As she entered Barb was met almost like a celebrity. She was now firmly ensconced as the poster child for the plant's success, and everyone was happy from the limelight they'd gotten from friends and family over the articles published that week. A half circle of happy team members formed around Barb effusive in their congratulations. She was caught up in their enthusiasm. The sound of a beverage being dispensed behind them stood out as being solitarily different. As Barb turned toward the sound, not wanting to exclude anyone, she realized the situation couldn't be saved.

Apparently, Jack had been only a few strides behind her and had entered the canteen as she did. No one had noticed him as they celebrated with Barb. Jack had simply gone about his business procuring a cup of coffee. Looking more tired than they'd ever seen him, Jack picked up the coffee and put it to his lips. He took a small sip and turned towards the happy group, who now all looked at him sickly, feeling they had excluded him somehow. It was all the worse they were all happy when he alone was being culled.

Barb wasn't easily brought up short, but she felt guilty too. Her mind swam. She didn't know what to do.

Sizing matters up, Jack flashed a look at the people in the room. He'd worked with them for years. His project would save their careers. He'd been their leader. He was like the captain of a ship who was expected to take control of the fleet. His ship wouldn't be losing him, rather that crew would just sharing him with the other ships. Then Barb arrived to take the fleet instead. But Jack was still captain. Now it seemed like he wasn't supposed to be. Everyone in the room shared the same awkward thoughts.

Jack studied his coffee. He knew in this environment if you weren't rising you were falling. He'd been their leader, but they had a new champion now. It was time. He knew he couldn't help but make a scene one way or the other. The only way to help his friends was to complete their accidental betrayal. If he had to fall, he could at least try to control it.

He locked eyes with Barb. She felt her chest seize, something momentous was about to happen. Had she finally lost him?

Jack raised his coffee cup to intersect the group's shared gaze. He nodded. It was a salute! He was saluting them.

He spoke to Barb so everyone could hear, "These are good people, thanks for putting them in position to win." He nodded to her, then addressed the group directly, "You all deserve it." His nod both figuratively and literally was over. He brought the coffee cup to his lips for another small sip. Jack flashed Barb another look, full of odd portent. He was sad, but at the same time proud of her.

'Dear God,' she realized, 'H-He just gave me his crew. Jack passed me his command. He's no longer their captain -- I am! They wanted it, and he just gave it to them, he let them off the hook. This is the last thing he wanted to happen; his command was the last thing he had. But he just gave it up to protect the people he led, to take away their guilt. They don't understand what just happened, but I do.'

"Jack?" She asked but nothing followed. What could she say without giving up their secret and defeating his sacrifice?

Jack took the initiative; he was always so decisive. "Miss Barb? I've been burning the candle at both ends this week. I traveled to the other end of the state earlier and I've been here late every night."

"I know." She wasn't sure where Jack was leading.

"I more than have the time saved up, I've just never used it this way. I'd like to go home early. I'd like to swap this coffee for some scotch and get a head start on my weekend."

They glanced at the clock simultaneously. It was 3:30 on Friday. This way he wouldn't have to mix with the shift getting off at four when they exited the building.

"Sure Jack. Whatever you need."

Barb cringed when he laughed at her comment. She knew Jack hadn't gotten what he needed or deserved since Barb had gotten this job offer. Hell, since she'd gone to that bachelorette party. The others in the room didn't get it, making for an awkward pause. Jack fixed that too.

He spoke to the group as much as to Barb, "My weekend may only consist of rest and some needed back sleep, but any project worth doing is worth doing well," he redirected the emphasis of his laughter to a place all would understand.

Barb looked around the room. Things were changing, things they all knew would change. Still, it was a shock that the changes were actually here. Especially as these were not changes for the better.

He was speaking directly to the group now, "Tell the team to have a great time, they've earned it and..." Jack looked at Barb, she could see the strain no one else did, as he put the capper on his leadership at the company, "... and we're in good hands." The crowd was silent but happy at his validation.

Jack paused while trying keep his emotions in check, he looked at the people he'd spent years beside, saying, "I'm really proud of you guys." The cheer went up, Jack had made the awkward situation a party! He'd conferred command and given away his precious gift. But Barb heard it for what it really was. His words were, "I'm proud of you guys" but what he'd really said was, "It was nice working with you."

Jack would finish his machine, he'd interact, he'd instruct, he'd protect, but he'd really only managed to resign his commission before being removed from duty. He was no longer their captain; he'd been demoted to chief engineer.

Barb saw the stark difference in their paths. Barb had to stay with the party as Jack left alone. She couldn't help but think he was walking off the plank.

Two Years into Their Plan.

Barb was working more and more closely with Randolph. Working with Randolph was proving unavoidable. The only thing she feared more than Jack's reaction was that she found it so easy to work with Randolph. She knew Jack hated him and needed her to feel the same. Why did she find it so easy, dammit, even fun? Working together on a huge successful enterprise simply makes for comradery and rapport. She knew Jack understood that. Except the rest of the building's management team didn't extend those fruits to Jack. He needed her to be pissed at them for it. She was, though she dared not show it.

Jack needed her to show it. It tore his resolve in her to see her play the part smiling and laughing with her cronies. How could she convince Jack most of it was an act. Her head hung. That was the huge problem: it wasn't ALL an act. The fact that Jack had to be convinced of anything concerning her was a massive issue. In fact, it was their major issue, the issue the problem at work kept them from resolving. It was a dragon breathing fire being substituted for the light of their corporate nightmare tunnel.

Barb knew she'd received a dismal review from Jack for her work as wife. She'd felt her hands shake when she'd think of what grades she'd receive being his friend. She kept playing with the kids that tortured Jack. She could see where anyone could question whose friend she really was. She kept telling herself she was doing it all for Jack, but Jack had told her help like that was no help at all. Instead, Jack kept warning her to distance herself from the other mangers and she kept playing her part. Barb could feel it building to detonation. Jack's reaction was to not accept comradery from them and to tell her not to accept it either. He was disgusted he had to warn her at all. How could she say she was doing it for Jack when she knew he'd go into orbit if he knew she enjoyed working with Randolph? Knowing that was the case, why did she enjoy it?

The situation was unworkable! Jack seemed willing to accept the financial and career consequences of them both walking away, if they did it together. How could she prove herself to him if she didn't agree? She was convinced hanging on at work to bank more checks would lead to the best future for Jack. Additionally, leaving now meant all Jack's heroic efforts were for nothing, he would have suffered without receiving the prize of defining his future career. She couldn't allow that. But more and more Jack saw her actions at work as disloyal to him. Something had to give.

Barb looked up one day to see Jack watching her and Randolph laughing together. Jack didn't bother to stare her down or make a point of it to her. He simply turned and walked away with the stride of a lonely man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Dear Lord, how often had he seen this scenario play out between Randolph and her? Forget having fun together with Randolph, Jack wanted her to rip his throat out! Damn, working hand in glove with Randolph was ripping Jack's heart out. She shook her head and retreated to her office.

* * * * *

Barb rounded a corner to see Randolph approach Jack who was busy at work. He'd waited to make contact until the two team members Jack had been explaining things to, battled off to complete their task. Randolph tried saying something. Jack's shoulders fell then squared. He'd been disappointed to see Randolph, then Jack's dander raised just having him that close. Jack cut him off then walked away. Randolph discreetly looked around to see if anyone saw, then made his escape from the scene.

Barb spoke to Jack that night admonishing him about the encounter, "That was dangerous, Jack. You could be dismissed for that sort of behavior."

Jack barely tried to hide his sentiments, "They can't just dismiss me, Barb, I've compiled quite a lawsuit against them."

She cringed; Jack had his own back. That he felt he'd had to, made Barb question her level of support; shouldn't that have been her job? But Barb also didn't want conditions to deteriorate to the point of lawsuits. Surely their marriage would be discovered, and she'd be fired too. She paused knowing that wasn't the proper response.

Jack raised to standing. Barb's eyes went huge seeing that Jack had already read her concerns, and clearly did not approve. "This is your plan, don't make it yours alone."

"What does that mean?" She asked in a hush.

"Are you in this for us or you?"

"Jack, I ..."

Barb was stunned when Jack cut her off, "All the shit runs downhill and it's extremely apparent to me in the valley that you're at the top of the hill."

Barb was thunderstruck.

Jack added, "Don't admonish me for talking down to Randolph when he talks down to me."

Barb was shocked again, "Randolph talked down to you?"

Jack's eyebrows drew down in the center, he was disgusted, "Maybe you should've led with what caused my use of self-defense, instead of defending your cronies right out of the gate. Are you hurling the dung at me from upstairs now too? Because that's what this feels like."

"Oh Jack..."

Jack preempted her statement, "Why did you ask me?"

"I-I saw your interaction."

"And?" Jack asked expecting an answer.

It was all Barb could do to keep her head from dropping, "Randolph told me what happened. That he asked about the project, and you told him to drop dead."

"Not in so many words."

Barb was silent unsure of how to move matters forward.

"Would you like to know the exact conversation?"

"Y-Yes."

"He came over to hassle me about the timeline."

Barb let her confusion show, "But we're months ahead of schedule."

"Tell your buddy that."

"Buddy?" Barb restated the word ominously.

Jack glared at her, disappointed and more than a little disgusted. "He hassled me with the tone he uses to let others know they're beneath him. He's never used that tone with me before, so I treated him the same way."

Barb held her breath, "What did you say?"

"Barb, are you concerned for me, him, or perhaps yourself?"

"Jack, I ..."

Jack cut her off, "I told him since he was suddenly so worried about the timeline that I had to get back to work -- doing his job. He got the message. Namely, that I don't have time to spend with false partners. I'm working, he isn't. There's no comparison, there's no partnership."

Jack, "I'm not sure that's fair."

His eyes flared, "Are you fucking serious?"

Jack was a decisive as he'd ever been. Barb had never seen it manifested from the standpoint of an adversary before. She immediately regretted what she'd said. There were a thousand different ways to ask Jack his thinking, the way she'd asked had to be near the bottom of the list. Before she could rephrase Jack let her know his frame of mind.

"You understand that if this goes to a lawsuit that I've compiled a long list of infractions and other miscues. I'll win in any arbitration board in the country. But you don't want me making waves, do you?" He eyed her suspiciously.

Barb's stomach swirled. She tried to gauge which was worse, that Jack was suspicious of her loyalty or that he already so convinced of disloyalty that he was open about it.

Her throat had become so dry it was she had to force her answer, "Jack our marriage would be discovered ..."

"And exactly why would that be bad?"

Barb knew she was stepping into a trap, though she still couldn't see it. "W-Well I'd lose my job too. And we'd both be ..."

Jack cut her off again. This time the anger didn't show; he was too upset to let it interfere with what he saw as the final resolution. His delivery had the cool definitive air of a top lawyer making his summation query, "So, if it came to a lawsuit you wouldn't quit to walk out with me?"

Barb felt as if she'd been slapped. She wasn't sure if Jack had asked her for the answer or told her what it was. Barb was a strong woman, but Jack was her heart. She felt like bursting into tears.

"Oh Jack, I'm so ... of course I would!"

He didn't look convinced. While his posture relented, he was still more unhappy than happy. "You're getting too used to the perks of the job. Why not? You can lollygag around with your manager buds because I'm getting the job done with the team. You guys can luxuriate and pal around." His brow knit tighter, "We're judged by the company we keep, Barb. Don't let Randolph fool you: he's a snake oil salesman. He has only basic business acumen, but he's hypnotic, he can sell what he needs to more powerful snake oil salesmen.

"When he and I worked together I was the credibility, and he was the politician. I can do without him. He couldn't do without me, well, until he had you. And you two are getting awfully cozy. You're trying to see the good side of him that doesn't really exist. You're trying to sanitize his image so you can get closer to him. I don't think he's had you on that desk of his, but he's gotten inside your head more than you're letting yourself believe. You don't have to go that far before ..."

Now Barb cut her husband off, "Before what, Jack?" causing a pause in his train of thought that was beginning to roll downhill with increasing speed. The pause would force him to evaluate what he truly thought. Now Barb feared what was coming. Did he really think she'd sleep with Randolph? Now she wondered why that conclusion jumped in her head?

Jack let her know his true fear, "I've stuck this out with you, Barb, don't become one of them now."

"Jack, I wouldn't!"

His eyebrows narrowed. His focus tightened on her to the point she feared his gaze could cut her, "Really? Then how do you come in here acting this way towards me? You came in here with a head of steam to defend your buddy that you believed I'd treated unfairly. Hell, if I shot his puppy, you should still take my side. You ignore the position he's put me in, swimming in shit every damn day, so you can pretend he's the good guy. You were with Randolph against me, making me crawl on the carpet. I won't crawl for anyone, Barb, not at this point, not after what you've put me through. As I said," his voice went cold, "I don't have time for false partners." He turned and walked out.

Barb realized she was holding her breath. She had to consciously release it, surprised at the size of the gasp she emitted doing so. She was scared to death. She understood every bit of what he'd said. She knew him well: Jack wouldn't waste his breath on notions without merit. Exactly how much merit did his beliefs have? Was she getting too close to the flame? Was Randolph turning her? She found him easier and easier to work with. So had Jack, once. Now it appeared Jack had never been completely under his spell. Is that where she was headed though? Jack feared she was so under his spell as to end up atop Randolph's desk. Even in his tumult Jack had once again provided for her. Barb asked herself Jack's very important question to see if she was under their spell. 'If matters with Jack do go to a lawsuit with the company, wouldn't I quit first?'

* * * * *

"It's a Rubicon!" Barb blushed as she excitedly explained, "The Sahara was actually more in tune with the visual I was hoping for, but I knew you'd want the best mechanicals."

Jack stood stunned gaping at the gleaming green Jeep in his driveway.

"Barb, this is exactly what I've wanted but how can we afford it?"

She started to look away, then cemented their eye contact bringing her head around to speak to him face to face again. "Jack, I remembered a number of our conversations, even before this mess with our jobs started. Except for the color, which I'll explain, this is what you've always wanted. The Jeep is iconic and tough, evoking images of rugged individualism." She paused looking dreamy, "I truly can't think of a man who personifies those qualities more than you. I know you hate what you're doing but I know you're doing it for my well-being and because you made a deal and you're sticking to it. I also know you now believe it's the worst deal you've ever made. This is a small reward. If you're the Lone Ranger then this is the Silver that you should ride."

"Barb, the plan we're ..."

"Jack, the plan is killing you. Here's a truck you'll be proud of. One that will make the managers I work with green with envy. But more than that, it actually fits into our future plans."

Jack's forehead creased trying to comprehend her meaning. He finally asked, "Barb, I really appreciate the sentiment, but doesn't this purchase undermine what we're trying to accomplish?"

She took his hand and tilted her head towards the house. He let her pull him inside. They settled in the kitchen.

"No, this doesn't undermine a thing. Please listen to me. Please have an open mind. Jack, this isn't a bribe or attempt to buy you off. This isn't an attempt for me to assuage a guilty conscious." She stopped shrugged, "Well, it isn't entirely an attempt to do that.

"You're pulling more weight farther and faster than any other manager at work. I know because I'm pulling the second biggest amount and know the others aren't close. This is the hero truck of your dreams procured for the ultimate hero of my dreams.

"You're frustrated, you're doing more and more work at home. You're searching out ways to spend your time that bury your fears of what is happening to me at work and how your career is winding to a stop there. You don't want to dwell on the humiliation you're drowning in. You are go-go-go trying to keep a step ahead of feeling disgusted with yourself for putting up with it all, and there's still a lot of time left to spend on our plan. I'm trying to keep you from melting down.

"Your pick-up truck has reached the point where there's practically a monthly payment worth of maintenance it needs. I'm not home as much lately because I'm working more. You don't want to spend any money, so you're stuck staring at exactly what you're trying not to think about."

Jack looked at his wife with an expression that showed his conflict. He asked in a voice that didn't share the conviction of his words, "You think you can buy me off? You think a new truck can blind me to all those other issues? What's with your extra hours? Are you becoming one of them?"

Barb shook her head sympathetically, "No baby, like you I'm working like a dog. Corporate is having loyalty tests before they trim management. I need to pass that test. Look, there's a rumor I haven't been able to confirm that there will be a buyout coming. I'm sorry to make this next distinction, it's not mine."

Barb made sure her facial features were soft. She tried relaying her news with a tone that said they were in this together, "The rumors sound right. Corporate will make people dissatisfied, then they roll out the buyouts. Upper management will get the choice this year to leave early with a good retirement package and, er, middle management will get the treatment next year."

Barb watched Jack bristle at his apparent demotion, but he'd always had more authority than his rank normally held. She redirected his focus, "Baby think. We have a line on the property we want. We've been stuck pulling in what we need to build our future. Someone has to put those pieces together to build our future.

"Jack Baby, this is the first trim of management the company has ever had. You know darn well this is a consequence of the corporation choosing the wrong policies for years. You also knew this was a consequence of your project. We're going in a new direction; we have to trim the dead wood. Thanks to you there's a future and the ability to pay for these golden parachutes. I know another year is a long time, but perhaps we can strap a couple of those parachutes on ourselves."

The couple looked at each other long and hard. Barb wished Jack would vent his frustrations. He understood she'd tried to do something nice for him, he just didn't approve of it. She feared that after spending two years with everyone pissing down his back that perhaps Jack had started to do the same thing to himself. She knew he told himself the goal was to get out as quickly as possible to stop the abuse. She surmised that if he broke his resolve before it was time to walk away that he might not be able to reform it and continue. Then all this suffering would have been for nothing. Perhaps Jack needed this much repressed anger to continue? But that didn't sound like her Jack.

Barb tried to reassure him, "I've put away more money than I thought."

"Because you're making even more than you thought you would be."

She nodded slowly, knowing that Jack hadn't made what he'd expected to make since this fiasco began. "That's our money Jack, not mine alone. I know you don't see it that way, but that money is a good thing. To bring up a sore subject, they took some of my incentives and rolled them into my new truck. What that did was take away the monthly payments we'd planned on for my replacement vehicle. Those payments added up. Also, I wasn't driving my old vehicle, it sat in our garage. Why keep it and the insurance payment? I traded my existing vehicle in on that Jeep. With some of the extra money saved I paid the Rubicon down to the level of the payments we expected to make on my new vehicle that we didn't have to buy. We were also planning to pay an amount towards your new vehicle which you vetoed because of your wish to save up and get out early. Except the maintenance to keep your pick-up running has gotten pretty high. I'd rather save that truck for when we need it and put the money into something with a better return. Add all that up and there's an honest windfall there. Not enough to let us dance away early but enough to dig us out of a vehicle maintenance hole your truck was now creating. In so doing you get a perk. A small pat on the back for saving our family."

She paused to let it sink in before adding, "Jack, I got this paid down to the level we planned to make your payment anyway. Plus, we're making only one payment where we previously planned to make two.

"Jack, I didn't drain our funds for a toy. Our funds are still higher than we'd planned, even with these payments. This is a no guilt purchase. And Jack, no one deserves it more. This isn't buying you off. You bravely walk right up to accept what you see as punishment every single morning. You hold your head up high, get more than your fair share done, and go home having proven you're the best manager there. It's the definition of unfair.

"At least on your way there and back the world can work as it should." Barb gestured in the direction of the parked Jeep. "You should be driving one of these. You can see it as the one thing in all the world that didn't fail you, the one thing that hasn't sullied itself. The one thing you can depend on now that the Chevy is beginning to fail."

Jack knew Barb was painting herself as having failed him and sullied herself too. She almost broke while saying it. He suddenly felt bad for objecting to her intentions, though he didn't want to work at the company one extra day.

While he was sorting matters out in his head Barb walked over to the counter and grabbed a bottle of Dobel. Jack's eyebrows raised at the appearance of the semi expensive tequila. She leaned suggestively against the counter while never taking her eyes off his. She pushed her hair behind one ear before cutting into a lime holding both the blade and fruit in one hand. Jack loved the way she did that. She put the spiraled lime in a glass and threw an ice cube in. She splashed the tequila in the glass, smiled wickedly again and took a big swig, more than a shot.

She bit her lip, "How about we pound some of this and go sit in that truck of yours. Let me get naked and choke me to death on that baseball bat of yours, out there, right in the driveway. The truck's facing the house, the neighbors won't know. Or you could refrain from drinking and drive around while I show you real customer service, just like we used to do before we were married."

She saw how conflicted he was. He loved her. He hated the circumstance. He wanted to be close to her but needed to vent his spleen.

Barb refrained from taking another gulp saying with complete sympathy, "Jack, this situation is killing you." She desperately wanted for him to accept and enjoy the truck. "Hear me out. I'm going to get a nice fat bonus for staying. I'm the flip side of the coin from you. They throw every wonderful thing at me while stepping on you. I hate it, but I've never seen my giving you that complete customer service as separate. We're working together to get the same thing. This fits our grand strategy, and you ARE about to cash in. The buyout looks to be enough to move up and secure the land we want, make the improvements we need, and get us some inventory. Your buyout for your rank, years of service, and topflight evaluation marks, when coupled with our savings, will take us all the way through opening. Once the buyout happens it's a one-year countdown to our being open! We're practically there! A year to the buyout and another until we can open our own business.

"Think Jack, this time next year you should take the buyout! Your days as a corporate slave are almost over Jack, you outlasted them. Your implementation will be practically finished by then. You'll be able to see some of the tangible change you've worked to deliver. I know your work so well I'll finish it for you. You can escape, the hell will be over. Take the buy-out and run. Start our new business. As soon as its stable, we start popping out kids, then I quit and join you. There's finally real light at the end of the tunnel!"

He sat down hard, no longer angry, just spent.

"We should take the Jeep back," he muttered exhausted.

Barb stood close beside him pulling his cheek into her bosom, "We can, it's your choice, but have all the facts first. We have your old pickup to become a company work truck. You still need something to drive and something with space for the kids when they come. We need a reliable daily vehicle, and for the garden center and landscaping business, the hero Jeep fits the mold, hence the green paint. Hell Jack, it's a sign you are about to show those corporate morons who the real boss is, and they'll never see it. Hidden in plain sight just like us.

"Keep it clean for the bankers, customers, and Rotarians to see, and for you to enjoy. Use the pick-up for the dirty work. The Jeep projects our professional way of doing things, as well as a sense of prosperity. It isn't merely a toy. And that's not merely a justification.

"Besides my bonus will cover any unforeseen expenses but honey we're both good at forecasting and I don't see any storm clouds. Mostly: you've earned it. And something else: I have your job! That's a wrong that can never be righted, but you can still win in the end. I try to respect you by doing what you would respect. Every day I see the decisions you would have made in that job and try to do what you would have done. I'm happy to say that from a decision-making standpoint, we are two peas in a pod.

"I also see how hard you work to make the corporation a success, sometimes despite itself. I see how you try to make those around you successful too. I see how they get the credit for your work, and that it's done purposefully. Yet you take care of them, which awes them. I see how maligned you are. I hope you see that your people love you. I hope you see that your wife adores you. I may have seen an opportunity for us in this mess, but it all landed on you. You have to carry the most water. And you've been spectacular! You've forged a new life for us, a better life. I don't know about you, but I think we work great together. We're very lucky. I am very lucky. And yeah, I adore you."

Barb took his other cheek in her hand, shifting his face to look at her, "Honey, I've given this next part a lot of thought. We need to reset our balance again, at least until you're running our new business!

"It's crazy: once HQ makes a decision, they want anyone who disagrees or may accidentally show it's a mistake to go away! Your plan saved them, but you remind them the plan was yours and not theirs. I use the decisions you would make, and I get what should have been your accolades and bonuses. In short, I'm in the clouds, and you're in the gutter. I can't stand that. If you didn't think it would hurt my feelings, you'd admit it yourself. So here is my plan.

"You need to control something: me!" She let it sink in before offering, "I'm the boss at work and I can only soften that stance so far without raising eyebrows. I think we've tried to keep things the way they were at home desperately clinging to normalcy. Perhaps that's not the right call. It certainly doesn't make the scales balance any better. Equals at home and I'm the boss at work is not a balanced scale. How about we try something else? How about you're in charge at home?"

"I'm not sure making us unbalanced at home too is the answer, Barb."

"It has one virtue and I think it's a big one. I get all the praise and reward at work. If I'm willing to sublimate myself at home you'll know I'm still in it with you, that I'm not growing into the part I'm playing. Wouldn't that let you know you've got a partner? Wouldn't that let you feel a bit more in charge of your life?"

Barb could tell Jack was considering it, but only as a bad menu choice when the restaurant tells you they're out of what you really wanted.

Barb tried to soothe him saying, "Jack, until our business is running normally enough to be interesting to you, we need my original plan in effect. It will be a challenge getting the business to where we need it. You'll enjoy that aspect, but you organize and make decisions on such a high level that until our new business reaches a certain point it's amorphous, not really a tangible asset to you. The only thing out there for you to actually grasp and control is me. I'm the only thing left." Barb's stomach turned as that sounded terribly inadequate.

"Hear me out. Once I wasn't always as trustworthy as I want to be. But if you think about it, I've always been honest. Here's some honesty for you: I don't like being your boss. It's not in tune with how I see the world."

She continued, "At work somehow they've never figured out we're married."

There was a slight hesitation before they both laughed.

Barb shook her head still laughing, "I don't actually hide it, I just don't volunteer any information, but it still racks my nerves. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard. Doing right by them and you is exhausting. I hate having you ... answer to me at work. So, at home I want you large and in charge. Tell me what to do. I sort of need to be brain dead by then anyway. Tell me to do the wash or the dishes, do the bills, or you. Bend me over the couch or table. Ass up or down, left leg in or out. Get it? It will be good for both of us, restoring a more natural order to the fucked-up way things are at work."

Jack's brow furrowed, "Isn't it just reversing it? Wasn't Corporate reversing course instead of charting the best course what landed us here?"

"For our personal decision about home, I don't believe so, Jack. Unfortunately, I don't even think this correction is enough. It's just compensating really, although with real benefits. I'll join you as a better rested, more widely awake, equal partner on the weekends. And then soon we will work together like we used to, on our business and our family. We're almost there, baby. The end is in sight, all we have to do is wait them out now."

"Barb, that's often where the floor drops out."

"I just want to make this go away," Barb admitted sadly.

"But only in the context of the plan," Jack said less than enthused.

Barb implored, "Yes Jack, because I still wholeheartedly believe the plan is your best shot at a happy future."

"I may not be the same man in the future if I keep living this present life."

Barb looked at him with an expression of complete understanding, "You're still mad that I questioned your confrontation with Randolph."

He scowled, "Be careful. My perspective is that you should want to refer to him as "gutless" or "dickless" not Randolph, and certainly not with an approving happy lilt."

Not expecting such venom, Barb stepped back involuntarily. But why hadn't she? Had anything happened to dissipate Jack's grievances? Making his life better was what she was trying to do. Which still wouldn't answer his disgust at how he'd been treated, even after things got better. He had every reason to rail against the men he saw as his antagonists. It made sense that Jack would see any time she spent with them that wasn't absolutely necessary as fraternizing with the enemy. What Barb found even more troubling was having to ask herself if she really did have an approving happy lilt thinking of Randolph.

She started to answer Jack's objection not sure what she was going to say. "Honey I ..."

Jack waited to see if Barb was going to manufacture an excuse. When the silence stretched, he reminded her of his situation. "You know I bent over backwards to make your way clear. I sanitized you with the work group. If I hadn't, they could have driven you out long ago. Then you and your management friends found a way to make you more popular with the crews than me. In the crew's best interest and yours, I handed you control. I could have blown it up when that damned article came out. Hell, I could walk away now before the project is complete and integrated and cause all sorts of suffering.

"Yes, I believe you'd be able to pull it out of the fire. But not before it caused a panic at HQ. Which might cause them to hand the project completion to someone other than you and completely botch it up, causing delays that would cost millions before they stumbled onto the right combinations to optimize performance.

"Going back further, I went with your plan: I let you take my job. I've laid down and let you walk all over me. Now it feels like you're pissing on me just like the other mangers do. I'm not one for ultimatums but this is a case where straddling the fence isn't going to satisfy me. I know that makes you a super-secret agent, but I want to hear you scream your disgust at them when you come home, not hear happy tones when you bring them up. And I sure as hell won't accept your taking their side -- even if they'd been in the right. Which they weren't. Don't tell me you're cozying up to them for subterfuge. Don't force me to wonder if you're on my side or theirs."

Barb was so shocked by the differences in their outlooks that she couldn't do anything but watch Jack start to walk away. They started on the same path. She thought they were still on that path together. Jack obviously felt she'd stopped walking with him some time ago. She didn't know what to do. It felt terrible. This must be a smaller example of the state Jack was in when she told him about the headhunter and the dancer.

But then Jack stopped and stepped back. What was happening? Was it going to get better? Barb felt the chill from knowing things could still get worse.

Jack was troubled, "Barb, I went with this plan for three reasons. First, I had to make sure you were provided for.

"Second, I knew how to save an entire huge corporation. What were the odds one person would be in that position? We're talking hundreds of thousands of jobs. It's one thing to see someone flounder, it's another to have the power to help but leave them in the lurch. That's not who I am, and that goes on the plus side of the ledger.

"There's a darker side: I could build this huge machine. I could automate functions that haven't been substantially changed in a hundred years, tie separate machines and processes together using brains and technology. I'm hardly the only person who could do the job, but I'm the only person that persevered enough to plan the thing out in detail enough to sell it to HQ. And now I could actually build it. That fed my ego. That's on the minus side of the ledger. But that's not all.

"All those collective legendary business leaders were helpless, and I would save the day for them. What the company needed seemed so obvious. I knew one of the most fruitless endeavors is trying to save someone from themselves that doesn't want to be saved. That was surely ego, though when the old guard fell it would take all those innocent employees with them. So my motivation on that one is a bit of a mixed bag.

"There's one more reason. I was so blown away by my betrayals that I wasn't sure I had a realistic perception of my life. I mean it seemed everything I thought I knew was wrong. I simply didn't know what to do. My project blueprint was something I knew backwards and forwards and could do with my mind blown and my heart broken."

Barb forced herself to not look away. The company may have blown his circuits, but she was the one who had already broken his heart.

Jack reluctantly said, "Those are the reasons I entered into this plan. Barb, my life changed from a very successful happy place to a giant backhand to the face starting with your revelations surrounding the headhunter. The slaps haven't ended yet." He sighed, knowing if he didn't complete the thought, he was misleading his wife, "Without all the other factors, based on humiliation alone, being of sound mind now, I never would've done it. I never would have gone with this plan."

Barb heard herself gasp.

"Maybe this will all turn out for the best, but it's horrendous to live through. I feel like a chump on every level. I have no reason to go forward except keeping my word and hoping for a happy ending. I get the first part, but the second is getting harder and harder to see. I lost the feeling I was investing in my future a long time ago. I don't want to let you down, but you're very well taken care of right now. My ego doesn't need me to finish the machine because already I know I can build it. I know if they don't screw it up that it will work. I know there are a lot of innocent people involved but I feel like I've done what I can for them. All I'm doing now is helping the people who screwed up my life and stole my future drive me down further. If I choked those bastards to death, I'd still be treating them better than they treat me, every day thinking of new ways to piss on me."

Jack's eyes took on a new intensity. Barb felt like they were scorching her.

"Barb, if you really need to be convinced of that please imagine this. When I walk out of there having secured your buddies futures and those of their families, not one will say "thanks" or "sorry to see you go" or stop to shake my hand. Not even if I gift wrapped the opportunity. They'll just smile that they've cut off my future.

"But my beloved wife comes home determined to put me in my place because I was rude to one of THEM. Don't think it helps if you pull the that's-not-what-they-told-me card. They lied to me and stole my my whole career. Now they're taking advantage of me to the best of their ability. No one should know that better than you! But you still believed them over me, until I proved myself to you."

Barb felt the sting of injustice that Jack had to prove himself to his very last ally in the world. What made it perverse was that Jack needed to prove himself to a person that had once betrayed him. Barb was breathless at that injustice.

Right before he walked out Jack said quietly yet firmly, "No wonder you found that dancer's huge equipment irresistible. To do what you just did to me, your balls have to be a whole lot bigger than mine!"