Retirement Ch. 02

I was looking out the front window when Crystal pulled into the driveway. I walked out onto the porch before she could get out of the car.

"Wow," she said as I walked to the passenger side. "I guess you're ready to see this place."

"Don't see any reason to put it off," I said as I got into the car. "Where's Maddy?"

Crystal was back in the driver's seat. "She's meeting us there," she said. "She wanted to go over a few things with Yvonne."

I nodded. I looked at the house as Crystal backed out into the street.

Martha and I bought the house in the suburb of Tulsa when she was pregnant with Crystal. We'd been living in a condo while we started our careers, but decided we needed a house with a yard if we were going to have a family. We were close enough to the city to work there, and far enough away to seem like we lived in the country even though we were in a neighborhood the size of some small towns.

I wasn't sure where Greenburg was, but it wasn't on a main highway. Crystal took one of the many turnpikes around the outskirts of Tulsa then exited onto a two lane state highway. The crowded city gave way to rolling hills covered with trees. My mind drifted again.

It reminded me of the time Martha took me on a surprise trip. We'd learned early on that Martha was the adventurous one. That first summer she'd encouraged me to leave the house as Margaret. At first it was a simple drive around the neighborhood at night. Then during the day.

She wanted me to go out to eat as Margaret. "We'll go to the other side of the city where no one knows us," she said. As much as I wanted to go out as Margaret, to be seen as a woman, I was too afraid we'd see someone I knew and my secret would be out.

One day I when I got home from my Summer Internship job Martha had everything ready for a trip. I had a 4 day weekend and we had discussed trying to go somewhere special.

When I asked where we were going she just smiled and told me to help her load our luggage in the car. She'd packed for both of us. I knew some of my Margaret things were packed because of the shoe bag. What I didn't know was that ONLY my Margaret things were packed. No clothes for Sam.

Martha got behind the wheel and headed out of town. There were no turnpikes back then. I tried again to ask where we were going. Martha just smiled and said to relax and enjoy the ride. Soon after we crossed the border into Arkansas I was pretty sure I knew. Martha had told me about a town in Arkansas she'd heard about that was very trans-friendly. When I asked her if our destination was that town she just smiled.

"You'll love it," she said confidently.

As we drove slowly through town I started to get apprehensive. There were a lot of male/female couples walking around, and the females of the couples appeared to be genetic females. Martha talked about how pretty the town was, and how she was going to enjoy spending time with Margaret here.

She pulled into the parking area of a pretty Victorian style house. A sign in the front yard proclaimed it to be 'Lilliana's Bed and Breakfast' and under that another sign that said 'Everyone Welcome'.

As we got out of the car a young man who appeared to be about our age came out to welcome us. He had his long hair pulled back in a ponytail, but it wasn't tied at the base of his neck like most men did it. It was tied high on the back of his head, the way women did it.

"You must be Martha and..." he looked at me and hesitated. "Margaret," he finished his sentence. "I'm Bobby. My mom is expecting you. You go on in and I'll start getting your luggage."

We walked onto the big wraparound porch and then through the door Bobby had left open. A middle aged woman stopped vacuuming the area rug in the sitting area to greet us.

"Welcome!" she said with a broad smile. She first walked to Martha. "I'm so glad you are here. Martha?" Martha nodded as the woman shook her hand. Then she turned to me. "And Margaret?" she asked as she took my hands in both of hers. I blushed and looked down. "Oh, don't you be shy young lady," the woman said. "You're going to love it here."

She showed us around the house- the kitchen, the common bathroom, the dining area, the back porch. There was a man cooking meat on a huge charcoal grill off of one side of the porch. He smiled and waved when the lady told us that was her husband, Lyle.

Bobby put our luggage in what was to be our bedroom for the next three nights. It was like a master bedroom with an in-suite bathroom and a small sitting area in front of a big window overlooking a wooded area.

"So do you want to change and go look around Eureka Springs?" Martha asked when we were alone in the room.

"No," I said quickly. "How about we go look around a little bit and I'll decide if I want to change."

Martha knew not to push me. She nodded and took my hand to pull me towards the door.

"So they only knew me as Margaret?" I asked as we strolled down the street toward what looked like a main street.

Martha giggled. "Yep. That's all I told them."

"Bobby seemed a little surprised to see a man getting out of the car," I said.

"Probably," Martha said. "He was expecting Margaret, not Sam."

"But it seemed like he was okay with it," I said.

"Yes, I've talked at length with Katherine while you were working," Martha told me. "Often their crossdressing guests arrive in feminine mode. That's part of the charm of the town. You are welcome however you are dressed."

"The name of the place is 'Lilliana's Bed & Breakfast'," I said. "But Katherine owns it?"

Martha stopped and smiled at me. "Lilliana is her husband," she said.

"Lyle is...?"

"Lyle is Lilliana," she said, nodding. "And their daughter Bobbie will be joining us for dinner tonight."

"Bobbie? As in the young man who brought out luggage in?"

Martha smiled and nodded. "That's her."

I shook my head, wondering what sort of place we'd wondered into.

We spent about an hour walking around town, looking at the shops and, more importantly, looking at the people. I began to see what Martha was talking about. I saw a lot of 'women' who were quite obviously not women. But no one seemed to notice. They were shopping in the shops, sitting in the ice cream shop, having a drink in the outdoor seating area of restaurant/bar.

"So are you ready to go back and change?" Martha asked.

I was. And I did. I was still very nervous when we once again headed for the front door to walk around town. But it made me feel very good when, as we walked through the sitting area Katherine came out of the kitchen and said "Oh, Margaret, you are so pretty. Enjoy your freedom!"

And I did feel pretty. I knew I looked better than some of the 'women' we'd seen earlier. But there were also a lot of women who I wasn't so sure about. I hoped I was one of the latter.

Our stay in Eureka Springs was life changing for me. With Martha's encouragement I started to fully embrace and enjoy my feminine side.

We sat on the porch and talked with the other four guests staying at Lilliana's- a middle aged woman and her husband, a pretty woman named Ava, and the woman's sister and her husband, Bill.

I thought how wonderful it was for Ava to have such a supporting family. I wondered how my sister and mom and dad would react if I came out to them. I suspected they wouldn't be joining us on long weekend getaways to a trans-friendly town in Arkansas!

I loved walking around the town, going in the shops and restaurants, and being called 'ma'am' and treated like a woman. I loved when 2 college age boys at the bar sent Martha and me drinks, then came over and asked if they could join us. We sat and flirted with them, but Martha insisted that we buy our share of the drinks. Later she told me that was so we wouldn't feel obligated to go back to their place with them if they asked... which they did.

I so enjoyed spending the four days as Margaret that when it was time to leave I didn't want to change back to Sam. Martha encouraged me to make the trip home as Margaret. "When we get home we'll hurry inside. You can change back to Sam before we unload the car."

Seemed simple enough. And I did feel a sense of freedom riding down the highway as Margaret. My travel ensemble was a red sleeveless camisole with a built-in bra over a knee length denim skirt, with brown leather sandals that showed off my newly pedicured red toe nails.

The camisole, skirt and sandals were from Martha's side of the closet. I was lucky that Martha and I were about the same size. Her moving in with me more than doubled my feminine wardrobe!

One thing we didn't think of was the inevitable stop to pee. But we both had to go. So Martha stopped at a nice clean looking convenience store on the outskirts of a small town in eastern Oklahoma.

"Just get out and go in like you own the place," Martha advised as I sat in the car trying to make myself get out. I had no choice. If I didn't go in I was going to pee in my panties and skirt. So I finally opened the door and walked in as confidently as I could.

I followed Martha to the women's room and ducked inside, half expecting someone grab me and tell me I couldn't go in there. But no one did. There was no one else in the restroom. I went into one of the two stalls while Martha went in the other. I sat down to take care of my business and waited until I heard Martha leave her stall to come out of mine.

I washed my hands and followed Martha back out into the store. To my horror Martha did not head straight for the door. Instead she headed for the self-serve coffee. I hesitated. Should I stay close to Martha, or should I get out of the store and into the safety of our car.

"Margaret, are you going to get some coffee?" Martha asked as she walked to the wall of machines.

I didn't answer, but I turned and followed her. I wanted a cup of black coffee. But what I got was a cup of Hazelnut Blend to which I added a squirt of French Vanilla creamer. I thought that was something a woman would buy.

Martha was already at the counter when I set my coffee down. She paid for both as she talked to the cashier, telling her how she'd been on a girl's trip with her sister and now we were on the way home. The lady rang up our coffees and ran Martha's debit card, then said "Thank you, ladies. Ya'll have a good trip home!"

When I looked at her and smiled and nodded she winked and in a hushed voice said "Relax, honey. You look great. And those cute guys over by the chips are checking you out!"

I almost dropped my coffee as I turned to follow Martha to the car. I was shaking when I sat down and told Martha what had happened. Martha laughed and said, "I told you so!"

I finally calmed down enough to take a drink of the concoction I'd bought and determined that I was not woman enough for flavored coffee and creamer. And might have said a bad word when I learned that Martha had gotten black coffee for herself.

I was hoping it would be dark when we got back to our apartment. Unfortunately it was summer, the time of the year when the sun doesn't set until late evening. Fortunately it was summer, and we lived in a college town, so most of the apartments around ours were empty.

My heart was racing when Martha pulled into the parking lot in front of our apartment. I looked around. No one was outside. I took a deep breath and got out of the car and hurried to our door. But when I got there I realized that my keys were in the pocket of the pants I'd worn when we left town. Those pants were packed in the suitcase that Martha was now getting out of the car. I had no choice but to stand there and wait for her to come open the door for me.

I looked around, hoping, praying that the two neighbors who could see our door were not looking out at that moment. Finally Martha opened the door and I was able to rush inside. I sat down in one of our kitchen chairs, breathing hard, glad to finally be in the house and safe. Or so I thought.

Martha took the big suitcase to the bedroom. "Just sit and relax for a minute," she said as she came through on her way back to the car for the rest of the luggage. She stopped near the open door. "I'd like a glass of wine when I get the rest of the bags in." She turned and walked back to the car.

I could use a drink, too. I was standing at the small breakfast bar between our kitchen and living area when I heard footsteps outside our door. I had just poured a portion of Crown Royal in my tumbler and was about to pour wine in Martha's glass. I looked up. It couldn't be Martha already. She'd barely had time to get to the car. One of our neighbors?

I thought about making a run for the bedroom. I was too late.

"I'd take a glass of wine, too, if you're..." our neighbor Sandy said as she stepped in our door. She stopped when she saw me. "Oh, uh, I was expecting Sammy," she said.

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I stood there holding the bottle of wine in one hand and a stemless wine glass in the other. Staring at our neighbor, who was staring at me, confusion on her face. Just then Martha stepped back in the house.

"Oh, uh, hi, Sandy!" Martha said.

Sandy turned to look at Martha. "Oh, hi, Martha," she said. "Uh, I was just coming over to welcome you guys back and ask about your mystery trip."

"Yeah, well, our trip was good," Martha said. "But, um, well, we have a lot of unpacking to do, so..."

I finally set the wine bottle and glass down. I took a big gulp of the straight liquor in my tumbler. My worst nightmare was happening. Sandy turned back to look at me.

"Sammy?" she asked quietly.

Martha stepped in front of her. "Sandy, listen, uh, this is something, uh, well, we'd just as soon everyone didn't know about this."

Sandy took a step closer to me. "Sammy, is that really you?" she asked softly.

Martha again stepped in front of her. She took both of Sandy's hands in hers. "No, Sandy, this is Sammy's sister, Margaret." Sandy looked at Martha. Their eyes locked.

"Sammy's... sister... Margaret," Sandy said.

"Yes. Sammy's sister," Martha repeated. "Sandy, please tell me you'll keep this just between us. For now. Please?"

Sandy looked back at me and slowly nodded. "Sammy's sister Margaret is very pretty," she said softly.

"Yes, yes she is," Martha answered. "So you'll keep this between us?"

Sandy looked back at Martha. "Of course I will," she smiled. "Well, I'm not sure I can keep it from Nick."

"I wish you would," Martha said. "Um, we... Margaret and I... we're a little afraid of how people might act if they, you know, uh, know about his sister."

"And you're okay with this?" Sandy asked Martha.

Martha laughed. "Yes, of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Um, no reason," Sandy said. "I just, uh, well, uh, I think I'll go home and get a big glass of wine."

Martha walked Sandy to the door. "Yes, that's a good idea," she said. "And why don't you plan to come over tomorrow while Sammy's at work, and we can talk. I'll explain everything to you."

Sandy nodded. She turned and took one last look at me before she walked out the door. Martha quickly closed and locked the door, then turned and rushed to me.

"Oh, Margaret, honey, I'm so sorry!" she said, almost in tears. "I never thought she would just come over and walk in like that!"

I had finished the first portion of bourbon I'd poured in my tumbler and was working on the second one.

"It's okay, baby," I told her. "I was just asking to get caught coming home like this. I should have changed at Lilliana's."

I poured some wine into Martha's glass and put it on the breakfast bar. She drank it in one gulp and pushed the glass back to me for a refill.

"It's going to be okay, baby," she said. "I'll talk to Sandy tomorrow. We might have to let Nick in on it, too. He is her husband. But maybe we can keep it to just the four of us."

She ignored the second glass of wine I poured for her and walked around the breakfast counter. She put her arms around my waist, allowing me to put my arms around her neck. She looked me in the eyes and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"Honey, it doesn't matter who finds out about Margaret. It's like I've told you before, you're not doing anything wrong. You're not hurting anyone. And, no matter what, I'm going to be right by your side."

And she was. Sandy and Nick kept it just between us for most of the next semester. But eventually some of our other neighbors heard rumors, and then knew the truth. I never had any real trouble because of it. I had never been that friendly with the guys, anyway. I tended to want to hang out with the women, and now the guys didn't mind if I did.

"You're awfully quiet, Daddy," Crystal said. "Do you need to talk?"

I shook my head. "Just thinking about things," I said. "About another time your mom and I drove down this same road on our way to an amazing four day getaway in Arkansas." I laughed. "We were still just kids getting to know each other."

"Want to tell me about it?" she asked.

"Maybe another time," I said. "It's kind of a long and involved story. Have you ever heard of Eureka Springs?"

Crystal nodded. "Yeah, I have. A group of girls I know get together and go there every spring. They say it's a really nice place."

I nodded. "It is. We went there a several times a year when we were in college. It was fairly close and not too expensive. We stayed in the same Bed & Breakfast every time we went."

"That's nice," she smiled. "Sort of you and mom's special place, huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Here's Greenburg," Crystal said as we started to see some houses. "Green Lake Estates is through town, near the lake."

I looked at the small town as Crystal drove through it. Nothing special. A locally owned grocery store, a few local stores, couple of gas stations that also sold bait, and a liquor store. A few hundred yards past the last house was a sign with a large arrow and the words "Green Lake Estates Retirement Village". Crystal turned onto the barely two-lane road. We could see some buildings surrounded by trees.

Crystal pulled into a parking lot of a big building with an "Office" sign near the door. I saw Maddy's car already in the parking lot.

Maddy met us before we got to the door. "Oh, daddy, you're going to love this place! Yvonne has already been showing me around a little. Now that you're here we're going to go look at an available cabin. That's what they call them. The one we're going to look at is a two bedroom, and it has a garage for your car."

Crystal and I both laughed when Maddy finally stopped to take a breath.

"I just hope I like it as much as you do," I said as she took my hand and literally pulled me to the door.

Yvonne, the sales manager for Green Lake Estates, met us inside the door. She was a pleasant lady, probably in her late 30's, maybe early 40's. Her long dark hair was in a braid that was more on the side of her head than the back so it fell across her left shoulder and lay on her ample left breast.

"Mr. Corbet, it's so nice to finally meet you," she said with a genuine smile. "I'm so glad you came out to give our little community a look."

"Please, call me Sam," I smiled back. I looked around the big open room. It appeared to be a dining room with tables for 4 and 6 scattered around. There were a few residents sitting at tables talking, some with coffee cups in front of them and others with a glass of tea in front of them. A group of women at one of the tables for 6 were playing cards. I noticed that almost all of the residents were women. "It looks like a nice place," I said.

"This is our dining room," Yvonne said, officially starting the tour. "We have coffee and pastries in here every morning and a full meal at lunch time. We don't serve an evening meal." As we walked around Yvonne spoke to several residents, who answered her but kept their eyes on me.

Yvonne showed us the game room, the chapel, the library and another meeting room. She didn't take us in the Assisted Living part of the building, but showed us the hallway leading there and explained that residents of Green Lake Estates independent living had the option of moving to assisted living when they could no longer live on their own.

"I am expecting a very important phone call in the next few minutes that I really need to take," Yvonne told us. "So our Director is going to show you the grounds and the cabin I've been telling Madison about." She looked at me. "And when you come back you can come into my office and ask questions if you need to."

"That's fine," I said.

"What do you think far, Daddy?" Madison asked.

"I think it's a nice place," I said.

"Here comes Sandy now," Yvonne said. "Does anyone need something to drink or to use the restroom before you take the outside tour?"

"I could use a potty break," Maddy said.

"Me, too," said Crystal. Yvonne pointed them toward the restrooms and off they went. I suspected they wanted to get away from me for a moment to talk strategy on selling me on this place.

Just as the girls went into the bathroom I heard "Sam? Sam Corbet?"

The voice sounded familiar. I turned to look at the woman moving quickly toward me with her arms out as if to hug me. The face also looked familiar, but I wasn't placing it.

"Sam! It's me, Sandy! Sandy Robinson back in the day."

And suddenly I knew who it was. The first person other than Martha to see Margaret in full bloom. This could be a good thing... or a bad thing.

"Sandy, of course!"

She hugged me briefly and then stepped back. "Sam, I'd have recognized you anywhere!"

I laughed. "Well, I'm not sure about that. But it's good to see you. Do you live here?"

She laughed. "Well, sort of. I'm the Director here. I'm going to show you and your daughters around the grounds. I have so many questions. I saw on your paperwork that you are a widower. I'm so sorry, Sam."

"Yes, I lost Martha about 6 months ago," I said.

"You two stayed together all these years," she said. "That is so sweet. But I knew you would. It was easy to tell you two were soul mates." She looked to make sure the girls hadn't come back into earshot. "Uh, Sam, is Margaret still around?"

Yvonne interrupted. "Excuse me, but I'm guessing you two have known each other for a long time?"

Sandy laughed. "We were neighbors all through college. Sam and his wife Martha, and me and my first husband Nick. But we haven't been in touch since way back then."

"Well, I don't feel so guilty about passing them off to you, then," Yvonne laughed just as the girls rejoined us.

"What's going on?" Maddy asked. "Why would you feel guilty?"

Yvonne laughed. "Oh, I really didn't. But it seems Sandy and your dad are old friends."

"Really?" Crystal said, eyeing Sandy suspiciously.

"Really," Sandy said, ignoring Crystal's look. "Your mom and dad and my husband and I were neighbors for 3 years when we were in college."

Maddy looked at her. "You knew our mom, too?"

Sandy nodded. "Yes, very well. We shared many a glass of wine on the back patio."

"That is so cool!" Maddy said. "See, Daddy, another reason for you to move here. You already have a friend!"

"Sandy is not just an old friend," I said. "She's the director here. She's going to show us around the grounds."

"Super!" Maddy said. "Oh, Sandy, it's so nice to meet you. I can't wait to hear some stories about my mom and dad when they were in college!"

"I'm afraid they won't be very exciting stories," Sandy said. "They were quite serious about their studies. Nick and I were the partiers."

As Sandy drove us around the grounds in a 4-seater golf cart I quietly said to Sandy, "In answer to your earlier question, yes, but very quietly."

Sandy nodded. "Got'cha."

When we'd traveled most of the paved paths around the grounds and seen the pond with a nice sitting area under a gazebo Sandy stopped in front of a single cabin. There was a duplex cabin to the right and another single cabin to the left.

"This one is available now," Sandy told us. "The crew would need to do some cleaning, and we have new appliances to put in, but we're waiting until it's occupied to install them."

"Nice, new appliances," Crystal said. "I want new appliances," she laughed.

"Maybe you should move in here then," I said.

Sandy shook her head. "Nope. She's too young. Minimum age to move in here is 60."

"Maybe in a few years," Crystal laughed as Sandy opened the door and we walked in.

"This one has two bedrooms and two baths," Maddy, ever the real estate agent, said. "We thought you would like having some extra space, and it'll be handy if Crystal or I want to come spend a weekend with you. Or if you want to have the grandkids come for a weekend."

I looked at Sandy. "Grandkids are allowed?"

She nodded. "Absolutely. Anytime. You just can't move them in with you," she laughed.

"Not a problem there," I said. "I like to spoil them and send them home."

We all laughed at that.

"And, Daddy, just look at all the closet space you'll have!" Maddy said.

"You talk like I've already rented it," I said.

"The power of positive thinking," she said. "It's how I sell a lot of houses."

"Sam, you're so lucky to have your daughters here to help you with things like this," Sandy said.

"What about you?" I asked. "Did you and Nick have any kids?"

She shook her head. "Long story I'll tell you sometime over a drink," she laughed. "My second husband had 2 kids when we got together. I helped raise them, then after we got divorced they didn't want to be around me, either."

"I'm sorry, Sandy," I said quietly. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay, Sammy," she said, suddenly smiling again. "I'm good with how things are."

"Sammy?" Crystal and Maddy said at almost the same time.

Sandy held her hand over her mouth and looked at me. "Oh, I'm sorry," she giggled. "That's how we knew your dad way back when we were all just kids acting like grown-ups."

She led us to the back patio of the cabin. A previous occupant had put a nice cover on it, screened it in, and installed some soft lighting around the edge of the cover.

"This is a very nice place to sit and enjoy a quiet afternoon or evening," Sandy said.

"Not very private," I said, looking at the patios of the 2 cabins on either side and 2 others behind us.

"You'd be surprised," Sandy said. "Our residents tend to stay on their own patio unless you invite them in. Especially since this one is screened in. It's more like a part of the house."

When we got back to the main building Yvonne joined us again.

"So, do I need to fill out paperwork?" she asked.

I looked at her, then at Sandy. "How soon do you need a decision?"

"You can have some time," Sandy said. "We have some others open if someone else wants to move in right away. But that's the only 2-bedroom with a screened in porch, so don't wait too long."

"Can you hold it until the end of the week?" I asked.

"Well, that might be..." Yvonne said.

"Of course we can," Sandy said. She ignored the look Yvonne gave her.

I nodded. "Okay, then. I'll have a definite answer for you by Friday."

Maddy squealed and hugged me. "Oh, yay, Daddy! That means you're thinking about it!"

I laughed and hugged her back. "Yes, baby girl, I am."

We exchanged pleasantries before the girls and I headed back to their cars.

"Oh, Sam," Sandy said just as I turned to walk away. "I have to be in town for a meeting Tuesday afternoon. How about if I buy you dinner and we can catch up?"

I nodded and smiled. "I'd like that, Sandy," I said.

"I'll call you," she said.

"So, you maybe found a new place to live and you got a dinner date!" Maddy said as she walked with us to Crystal's car.

"Very maybe on the new place to live, and dinner with an old friend to talk about old times," I laughed.

"Don't kid yourself, Daddy. I saw how she looked at you. And she's a pretty lady!"

"Maddy, stop it!" I said, maybe a little too harshly.

She looked hurt. "Oh, Daddy, I'm sorry," she said. "I guess it's too soon for you to even think about dating."

I hugged her. "It's okay, sweetie," I said. "I know your heart is in the right place."

Later that evening when I was home alone I took a nice bubble bath. I shaved the very sparse hair on my legs, under my arms, and on my chest. I even stood and shaved my pubic hair for the first time since Martha got sick.

Out of the bath I rubbed lavender lotion on my body, then put on a satin dressing gown and sat down at the vanity.

I'd had shoulder-length hair when I told Martha about Margaret. Martha taught me how to use a blow dryer and curling iron to give myself a feminine style. I even let her trim my hair to make it easier to style for Margaret.

When I first got out of college I thought I would have to cut my hair to go into my chosen profession. But by pure chance I shared a flight with the head of a mortgage company, and by the end of the flight I had a job. And he told me there was no reason to cut off my hair if I didn't want to, just to keep it clean and neat while at work.

Unfortunately as I got older I began to suffer the effects of thinning hair and male-pattern baldness. By the time we decided I needed to get a wig I was no longer embarrassed to go to a wig shop to be professionally fitted.

The stylist studied my facial structure and the shape of my head and brought out three wigs. We chose a short style with curls that almost covered my ears and my neck and had little bangs in front to hide the wig cap. We bought two of them, one brunette with a hint of red, and one dark but heavily sprinkled with gray. Both looked very natural on me and required very little upkeep.

For tonight I chose the gray one.

I didn't bother with a lot of make-up, but I did put some lipstick on my lips. Martha always liked when I wore lipstick. She liked to kiss when we were both wearing it. And I like wearing it because I like to see lipstick prints on my glass when I have a drink.

I pushed the post of a pair of dangly earrings through the holes in my lobes. I loved dangly earrings from the day Martha took me to the mall and convinced me to get my ears pierced. I loved feeling them swing when I moved my head. The ones I chose to wear that day were a series of pink balls, each one a little bigger than the last, that hung 3" below my lobes.

I got one of my nice bras out of the bra drawer. As we aged and the band size changed we had to each get our own bras. And now I had fairly expensive silicone breast forms to fill the cups on mine.

When Martha wanted to take me to a professional fitter for my first pair of silicone forms I refused to go. But, as was usually the case, Martha's persistence won out and I found myself standing in front of a middle aged woman (I was still in my 20's) as she tried several styles of bra on me and she and Martha tugged at the cups and the straps and the band, commenting on how it fit. I was so embarrassed!

But I loved the result! Even though I was in 'boy clothes', a t-shirt and shorts, when Martha asked if I wanted to wear my new bra and boobs home I didn't hesitate. I said "Yes!" I was a little self-conscious walking out to the car, and even more self-conscious walking in to our condo. But I loved how the silicone forms bounced when I walked.

I thought about putting hose on, but decided to go bare legged with just panties. I chose a pair of panties I know Martha liked to wear. She also liked when I wore them.

I picked a dress in our favorite style, the style of the dress I wore that first time I dressed up for Martha. I loved that style, and after wearing some of mine Martha loved it, too.

The upper was much like a tank top with wide straps over the shoulders and arm holes that didn't show our bra off too much; an elastic band around the waist that sat on her hips and separated the upper and the skirt; a skirt that reached almost to our knees, long enough to be modest and short enough to be sexy. We had a wide variety of these dresses, most of them in pastel colors, all of them made from soft cotton.

The one I slipped over my head today was simply a soft pink top with a darker pink skirt. It was one of my favorites.

I put on a pair of white leather sandals. As I aged my feet grew a little longer, but quite a bit wider, so I could no longer share shoes with Martha. So we usually bought two of each pair, one in her size and one in mine.

I looked at myself in the full length mirror and smiled. Martha would be pleased.

I mixed myself a toddy of three fingers of Crown Royal over two cubes of ice and walked out the French doors to the patio. I knew our neighbors could see me if they bothered to look closely, but didn't care. The neighbors behind us and on both sides had met Margaret and had even shared a drink with Martha and Margaret on the patio on occasion.

I stared into the colors of the evening sky while I sipped my drink and tried to get a handle on an idea that was racing around in my head.