The Fan Ch. 10-11

Author's Note: This story is based on fiction, and all characters are 18 years of age or older. The setting for this story takes place in 2006 when MTV was in its prime as the source for musical information. Kind reminder that this is a novel length fantasy. If you haven't yet read the first four installments, I encourage you to do so in order to immerse yourself in the romantic fantasy.

I would like to thank the various editors who have also taken part to make this story what it is today. A very special thank you goes out to my main source of inspiration, encouragement, feedback, and support, thatsbogus - a fantastic writer in his own right. I encourage you to check out his collected works if you haven't already. You will not be disappointed. Thank you for joining me and happy reading!

Chapter Ten

"If that's you rusty, I can't wait to see you warmed up."

Less than ten minutes later, Jaxon pulled into the back lot of an unassuming dark gray brick building just off Beale Street. He parked, got out, and then opened her car door, lending Rowan a hand as she stepped down.

They walked hand-in-hand to the back door of the building. Jax used a key on his key ring to unlock and open the door, then held it open for her. Just inside the room, he tapped in a code on the alarm control panel, then closed and locked the door behind them. He flipped a switch on the wall to his right, illuminating a storage area filled with shelves stacked with milk crates and random boxes. Rowan peeked into a nearby crate to find stacks of vinyl records and looked quizzically at Jax.

"What is this place?"

"This is my buddy TJ's private recording studio. He lets me use it from time to time when I'm home and have the itch to lay down some track or work out a random tune on the piano if a guitar just won't do." He gestured to the far door and followed her out, flipping another switch so they could make their way to the bathroom in the back.

"You mean TJ Morris? The musician, and producer on your last album?" Rowan asked, a little star-struck.

"Yes," Jax laughed at the expression on her face. "I just texted him that I was popping in here and to check if the place was in use. He's not here right now, but there is an open invitation for friends like me to pop in and capture our tunes whenever the inspiration strikes. Sometimes that's two in the morning, or on holidays, so a lot of us have a key and the code to the door."

"That is so cool. How nice to have a friend like that."

"Believe me, he benefits too. With that open invitation, this place kind of turns into a hive mind of music. We all end up having input or influence in some way or the other on each other's tracks, but yes. He's a great guy. I've known him for just about ten years now. He helped us with a few songs on a couple of the In-Time albums and it was kind of just a natural fit, the two of us. We've collaborated on a track or two on all of my albums since." Rowan shook her head in awe and then disappeared into the bathroom.

While he waited, Jax turned on the lights to the engineer and live room and powered up the mixer and studio monitors. The hum of the equipment coming to life filled him with peace, settled his core.

"Jax?" Rowan called out and Jax popped his head out of the doorway behind him.

"Down here, baby." Rowan made her way down the hall and sat next to him at the mixing console.

"Wow... You know how to use all of this stuff?"

"Not as well as TJ, but he taught me how to handle the basics so I could record on my own which is pretty much all I know how to do. I've never learned how to mix the sounds together." Jax tapped a few buttons on the screen, selecting one of the dynamic mics in the live room.

"After you've captured the sound on a specific track, you can mix it all with this system." Jax indicated the equipment set in a half circle in front of a large glass window, full of toggles and sliders labeled with various numbers and letters.

"This is the stuff I don't know how to do. A song can start one way when you first lay down the track and then sound completely different depending on how you mix it. That's TJ's gift. He can make you sound like a million bucks even if you're sick as a dog or completely off tune. It's crazy what he can do for people with all of this stuff."

"Wow... So this is where you recorded all of your music," Rowan breathed, eyes roving over the surface of the board and the multitude of toggles and buttons. "It's a little overwhelming."

"Not all of it, but TJ and I have had many late-night sessions here. Quite a few songs on the most recent album were recorded, mixed, and produced right here." Rowan's eyes went wide at that. "Wanna try it out?"

"Oh no, I would break it!"

Jax laughed. "Not the board, but a song. Why don't you sing my song for me like you did last night?"

"Me? Why?"

"Are you kidding me? I told TJ about your voice and I'd love some proof to back it up. You're a regular song bird."

"Oh Jax, I couldn't." Rowan shook her head.

"Please?" he pouted, "for me?" He leaned down and kissed her sweet mouth. She melted into his kiss, opening up to him and drawing him in. Her back arched, pressing her breasts into his chest, and he began to melt too. He pulled back, though. He really did want to capture her voice, that desire overriding his other desire to sink in to her right at the moment.

"Is that a yes?" He asked against her lips.

"Ok. Yes, it is a yes."

"Good," Jax pulled back. "Now get your sexy booty and vocal chords into the booth and put on the headphones. It's soundproofed, so you'll need them to be able to hear me."

He held the door to the live room open for her and then followed her in. He led her to the mic array centered in the room and positioned directly in front of the glass, so that he could see her from the console. He set up the dynamic mic in front of her with a pop filter, sitting her on the stool and adjusting the mic to her height, then closed the door behind him on his way out.

Seated back at the mixing board, Jax tapped the monitor to open access to the dynamic mic in that particular booth, starting a track attached to that mic. Rowan put on the headphones and he pressed a button to open the talk back mic.

"Okay, do you want me to play the song for you through the headphones so you can sing along, or do you want to take off acapella like the other night?"

"I don't know, I've never tried this before. What should I do?"

"I think you can handle it without listening to my vocals as a guide, based on what I heard last night. Here, let me see... One sec," Jax scrolled through a file folder on the monitor with his name on it, scrolling down to find the right song. He had recorded 'Come Around' at this studio, then TJ had mixed everything together to form the instrumental that his vocal tracks were then laid over. All he had to do was find the mix that TJ had made.

"Ah, there it is. I'm going to play the instrumental for 'Come Around' and then I'll cue you in, just watch me through the glass. You'll hear it run through your headphones, but only your voice will be recorded on this track."

"Oh, ok..." Rowan's smile was somewhat wobbly.

"Don't worry, it's just for fun. Take a deep breath. This is fun right?"

"Right... so much fun," she laughed. "I kid. It is. It's just exciting... I'm nervous, but it's the good kind of nervous."

"As long as it's the good kind," he teased. "Do you know any vocal runs? You could warm up while I cue this up," Jax smiled. She looked so cute and so small, full of fidgety energy with the enormous headphones nearly engulfing her face.

"Vocal what?" Her little voice was both beguiling and adorable coming through the pop filter. Clear and sweet.

"Never mind," Jax smiled. "This is just for fun. Do you need me to pull up the lyrics for you?" She gave him a look that basically said Are you kidding me? and he laughed. "Right, right, duh, of course not. You know them already."

"Every word," she smiled brightly and it rocked him back for a second. He took a deep breath himself and then returned back to the task at hand. He tapped a few buttons on the monitor to begin the recording of the track for her vocals, then sent the audio playback for the instrumental mix to her headphones.

After the opening beats, he cued her in by counting off on her fingers, one, two, three, go, and pointed at her. Despite what he knew must be a racing heart and adrenaline-fueled lungs, her voice came out steady and true, right on key.

His whole body seemed to still as he listened, riveted to the expression on her face, the sound of her voice. It was much stronger and truer than last night singing on the basketball court flat on her back after she had suffered an emotional and physical blow. Then, he had caught the tail end of the last chorus sung with a voice full of tears. Now, her voice was full of everything but sadness and it called to him on a professional but also personal level.

She was stunning, just suffused with joy for the music she was making. Her eyes were closed, hitting notes that took even the most seasoned singers a few vocal warm-ups to reach. His lips parted without conscious thought in an attempt to get more air. He felt like he couldn't breathe, like a weight had settled in the middle of his chest. She had skill and vivacity, just this life to her voice that pulled you in and also made you feel somehow more alive than you already were.

He felt pressure at the back of his eyes, watching her, then his vision began to blur. He recognized the importance of this moment. This exact moment, listening to the clarity, the sweetness, the life in her voice while singing his song... it meant something. It meant something more than he was prepared to acknowledge, but it wasn't... unwelcome. Is that the word? It wasn't unwelcome? This feeling growing within his depths, unbidden, unintentional, beautiful, but also welcome and surprising.

As the song came to a close, that stillness continued. He was frozen as the last notes died away, his breath heavy against that weight beneath his ribs. She opened her eyes, and caught his intense stare. The dazzling smile she gave shook him out of the stillness and he became conscious of the moisture gathering at the edges of his eyes. He cleared his throat and blinked rapidly to clear his vision.

He dropped his eyes to the monitors. He felt more shaken than he knew how to handle at that moment, so he pushed those feelings down by relying on his years of professionalism to pull his emotions in check.

Jaxon stopped the recording and clapped loudly. Rowan pulled off the headphones with a humble smile. He motioned her out of the booth and she popped her head out of the door, her face filled with wonder.

"Good God, Miss Rowan. That was amazing..." he took a deep breath, clearing the last of the feeling in his chest, then let out the breath with a laugh. "TJ is going to have a field day with that. Wanna hear yourself?" Jax gestured to the desk chair beside him, then tapped the playback as she sat.

"Oh my goodness, is that me?!" Rowan asked as the first bars filled the space between them, her cheeks pink. "That doesn't sound like me at all. How did you get my voice to sound like that?"

"I didn't do anything to your voice. That is all you. The only thing I did was add a pop filter to the mic there. All it does is absorb the puffs of breath and little 'p' sounds you make when your lips pop open, hence 'pop' filter. This way, you can hear your true voice more clearly. But that's it. This is all you."

She listened for a few moments more, "It's so strange!" she said once the track ended. "The voice inside my head is completely different from the one coming out of those speakers."

"I know what you mean. I get that feeling too sometimes." Jax set up a new track to record once more by tapping a few more buttons, then took her hand.

"Come indulge me, will you?" He led her back into the live room. Other than the mic array, there was a piano, a drum set, and a small storage closet with several guitars and brass instruments in racks lined up on the walls above a bevy of amps and monitors. He selected an acoustic guitar off the wall, fished a pick from the fishbowl set on a spare amp beneath, then closed the little closet door behind him.

"What's happening?" Rowan squeaked out when he turned around holding the guitar.

"Can I test your ear on a new piece I've been floating around my head since I met you? It's just this idea that's been tickling in the back of my mind. Kept me up last night till about two in the morning working it out." He sat down on the stool set up in front of the mic array, adjusting two of the mics. He set one to capture the guitar and the other to capture his voice, both of these were connected to the two tracks he had set up to record.

When she hadn't answered, he looked up from the mics and couldn't resist smiling at the expression on her face. Incredulity poured from her in waves, her mouth hanging open in shock.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" she breathed out.

"So... that's a yes?" he teased, one corner of his mouth lifting in a gentle smirk.

"Um, it's a hell yes, Jax. Oh my God."

"Just remember, this is a work in progress. I literally just thought it up last night, so keep that in mind, Miss English Major," Jaxon smiled a little self-consciously, then gestured to the piano bench.

She sat abruptly, revealing her eagerness to listen. He turned his body and repositioned the mics so that he could face her while he played. He then strummed a few chords, getting into the feel of it, before risking a glance at her reaction.

She was flushed and breathing deeply, her eyes riveted, her hands gripped together tightly. He was reminded once again that she was a fan, remembering that her fandom was for his music, songwriting, and his voice. He studied her expression while he teased the strings to warm up his fingers, pleased to inspire that same hungry look she had worn when watching his music videos or dancing to his music in the club. He realized this must have been what he had looked like, just now, watching her sing. He was struck by the surrealness of the moment for a heartbeat or too, marveling to himself about how the universe worked at times.

As he settled down to play the song he had written for her last night, the intensity of the moment suddenly sent a little flutter of anxiety through him, stalling his fingers. He'd captivated audiences before that were much more demanding, but he felt that welcome 'something' he couldn't quite name fully for Rowan that made this next performance all that more important, another one of those moments with a capitol M. He just hoped he could do this little show justice and communicate everything he was feeling.

"Oh Ro, my sweet, sweet Rowan, I just gotta let you know," his fingers trembled a little on the strings, but steadied as he continued, getting into his groove and gaining confidence. This was his world, this was his safe spot, his home.

"Caught a glimpse of you, girl, through blazin' lights,

Through the noise and crowd, you were burnin' bright.

We locked eyes, now you realize I'm stuck on you

Kinda wild to think you could see all of me too.

"Baby, you weren't even tryin', still you've got that pull,

One little glance from you and I'm losin' all control.

Now I've got to wait for the perfect moment, the stars to align,

'Cause I don't wanna come off slick, like every passin' guy,

But what if I miss the chance to say what's on my mind?"

As he moved into the bridge leading to the chorus, he chanced a look at her face. She was completely entranced, her eyes brimming with unfallen tears. The epitome of beauty wrapped up in her adoration in that moment, listening to his words, watching his fingers play along the guitar just as they'd played with her body an hour earlier.

"I'm usually cool, holdin' steady on my own,

But with you I'm breakin' all my rules...

One smile, and I'm fallin' right through...

"This might sound wild, but honey,

There's magic in the way you say hello,

'Cause when you say 'hi', it's poetry,

And suddenly I'm out of control.

It's so hard to find a way to say,

You're pullin' me in so strangely -

Straight breakin' me -

Just with your mere words hello.

"And I swear I'm not usually this bold,

But there's somethin' in the way you glow

So if I don't speak now, I might never know...

Maybe I'm movin' too fast, but baby -

Is there someplace we could go?

If I'm comin' on too strong, just say so -

Or better yet, baby... say we can go.

"I usually play it cool, don't play this kind of game,

But the way you laugh is messin' with my brain.

Your smile's got me feelin' seventeen,

And your voice - girl, it's silky as a dream.

You're watchin' me like you already know,

I'm waitin' for a sign, but you're stayin' composed,

Don't want to rush you - but I need to know...

"Yeah, I've been tryin' to get next to you all night,

Waitin' on a break to catch your light,

I'm not tryin' lines like those other guys,

But what if this moment just walks on by?

So let me tell you how it feels inside,

'Cause I can't keep lettin' these feelings ride...

"Can't believe how you're crushing me

With a word I've heard a million times...

Sounds a little crazy, but baby, I can't lie

You hypnotize with nothin' more

Than the mere word 'hello'

It shook me more than you could know

You pulled me in like a song I know,

Now I'm caught in your glow

"I might be movin' to quickly, but darling -

Is there somewhere we could go?

I don't wanna miss my chance, just thought you should know

Just how you make me feel...

So if you feel the same - don't let it fade...

Say the word... and baby, we can go...

He played the last few chords, ending the song. He kept his eyes on his fingers even though he didn't need to so he could collect himself and reel back in his emotions.

"You..." her voice quavered and she sucked in a breath, "you wrote that thinking about me?"

He finally looked up just as a tear dropped, catching the light as it fell. Reaching out, he traced its path, then brushed her cheek with his thumb.

"Yes" he said earnestly, his voice a mere whisper. "I couldn't get you out of my head last night after I called Chase and asked him to help figure out the flight details. I lay there for so long trying to fall asleep. All I could think about was you, and this song just kind of wrote itself.

"The first time I laid eyes on you in the studio yesterday, you were standing in the doorway. Danni was doing her crazy fan thing, Mica was hyperventilating, and there you were, just standing there. Still and calm and devastatingly beautiful. And all you said was 'Hi,',' just like that. Just 'Hi', and that was it. I was toast."

"Wow, Jax, I don't know what to say, except thank you." She wiped her face with her fingertips as more tears fell. He set the guitar aside, got up from the stool and took the two steps needed to drop to his knees in front of her and pull her into his arms.

"Then why are you crying, baby? I'm sorry if I've upset you." She tucked her head into his neck and rested her cheek against his chest. He stroked her soft, silky hair and felt an answering threat of tears push against the back of his eyes once again.

"They're happy tears, don't worry. I just feel so overwhelmed, so honored. You've got so much talent and to spend even a little of it on me..." she gasped against his chest, unable to go on.

"Are you trying to say that you're not worthy of me writing a song for you?" He pulled back so he could look into her face but kept his arms around her. She shrugged her shoulders and broke their gaze, wiping again at her tears. He settled back on his heels, lowering himself so he could look into her face and covered her hands with his own.

"I know I don't know you very well, and you don't know me very well, but I think I'm starting to learn who you are and that is, to me, the most 'you' thing to say." He squeezed her hands and laughed gently.

"To believe you weren't worthy of a stupid little song like that, worthy of any of my time is true to form, I think." His heart felt both heavy and light, like a 'feather of lead' as the great bard would say. She laughed on a sob and leaned forward, draping her arms around his shoulders to pull him close. She mumbled something into his neck and he pulled back once more.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I said it wasn't stupid, it was beautiful, beautiful words, beautiful playing... just beautiful. You sing so... your voice is just so beautiful Jax, and you play so skillfully... the guitar, the piano... It wasn't stupid," she smiled, coming to his defense.

"Well thank you, and your tears aren't stupid either. Like my mother always told me, we are allowed to feel how we are going to feel and do things we want to do, things like stay up till two in the morning writing songs about pretty girls we just met." He winked at her, feeling lighter, the heaviness slipping away with her smile.

"I guess," she laughed, drying the last of her tears from her face.

"Why is it that you are that much more appealing with your nose all pink from tears?" He asked, pinching her nose softly. He leaned forward and kissed her then, her lips soft, pliant, and wet. She opened up to his kiss, tilting her head and leaning into him, allowing herself to be cradled in the circle of his arms, and just like that he wanted more.

He kissed her soft and slow at first. The taste of her tears grew sweeter now that he knew the reason for them. No matter how sweet, though, he felt that ever-present desire, the pull between them pulling and tugging him closer. She felt it too, as evidenced by the slant of her kiss. She tilted her head and gripped the front of his Tee again, pulling him as close as possible. Her knees spread open and he leaned in, pressing his chest to her plush breasts. The delicious warmth at the juncture of her thighs seemed to call to him. He began to harden in response, filling out the inside of his pants.

"Jaxon," she breathed into his open mouth. He pulled back to look her in the face. Her eyes were glazed with need once more, deep green and smokey with the beginning of desire. She bit her lip and dragged one hand down the front of his chest, bumping along the ridges of his stomach until reaching the clasp of his belt. "I..." she breathed, lowering her lashes down to his hips.

She stroked his growing length once, through his pants and he hissed through his teeth. "I want you," Rowan purred up at him, her eyes burning into his. "Please," she bit her lip, her brow knitting. "Even if it's this once, just this once. I want you. I want to take you inside me. I want to feel you. I want you to stretch me and fill me so that I'll feel you even when you're not there, but..." she paused to worry that lip once more, "I know that's a lot to ask, to go all the way."

"What do you mean?" his brain was clouded with lust, and he struggled through the fog in order to comprehend.

"We've talked about the fact that I am a fan, but I'm also still a stranger. I trust you, but I get it if you don't trust me completely yet. If it's not worth the risk, if I'm not... I understand."

"Oh, fuck, Rowan" Jax cursed, then half laughed, half sobbed, feeling that confusing weight in his chest settle just behind his ribs once more. It was ludicrous. How she could think that she wasn't trustworthy, that she wasn't worth the risk after everything... He wanted her more than he'd ever wanted another woman in his entire life. Everything he'd learned about her today had only added to that first thrust of lust since he met her, building to a desperate desire for all things Rowan. This all had to be building to something more than just sex between them.

"Yes, you are worth the risk. Of course you are worth the risk. I..." he groped for words, how to explain this to this sweet, sexy girl. "This entire day was a risk. It has been a risk to let a fan into my mother's home, a risk to let a fan into my arms, a risk to let a fan into this room, and it was a risk to let a fan get so close to my heart... But it was a risk not just for me, but for you, too."

"I know. After the last two days..." she trailed off and bit her lip, her brows knitting.

"What?" He prompted and she brought her face back to his.

"I know what I'm risking too. I'm 22 years old, Jax, not some tween drooling over your poster in her bedroom. I hope you can see that by now. I've tried to be as honest and forthright about who I am and why I am here. I know, too, what I could potentially be giving up, but I don't care, Jax. Right now, right here, I don't care. I just want you.

"I've never felt this way about anyone in my entire life." Her eyes were round and so, so green as she stared into his. "I'm not prone to live in the world of fantasy. I'm much too analytical for that. I understand that this might be all there is and if that's the case, that's ok.

"All I want is exactly all that you are and all that you're able to offer me. Nothing more, nothing less. Just you, Jax. I cannot even begin to tell you what a complete surprise and joy it has been getting to know you, too. I am so thankful you've let me see pieces you usually hide."

He opened his mouth in denial but then stopped. Did he hide himself? To a degree, yes, with fans, yes, with his family? His friends? God in heaven, she was right.

"You ok in there?"

Jax began to nod his head and then shook it. "You're right. I have been hiding. Ever since Carmen used me like she did... it burned me up." At her quizzical look, he sat back on his knees but didn't let go of her hands. "My last girlfriend was more interested in my celebrity status than in me. She used me to make connections and further her acting career. It took me about two years to understand that, but she is a very good actress, so I don't blame myself too much for not seeing what she was about."

"That sucks, what a bitch," Rowan pulled a face and Jax laughed.

"I wouldn't go that far. I mean, I get it, to a degree. I'm not saying what she did was right, but I understand the passion, the drive to be more than you are. She just went about it the wrong way."

"Yeah, it sounds like it was at your expense too."

Jax nodded, falling quiet, contemplating. He couldn't help but compare his two years with Carmen to his two days with Rowan. He had connected with her more, shared more, felt more inspired, more happiness, more alive with Rowan in two days than he had in two years with Carmen.

"Mind including me in on the conversation?" She teased with a smile.

"I was just thinking that, or I guess realizing just now how different you are compared to her. You're absolutely nothing like her. You're nothing like anyone I've ever met. Your honesty... Your reality... It's so alluring, so beautiful. All of you." He stroked his thumb across her cheek then pulled his hand through her hair and her eyes melted into his.

"You're beautiful to me too, Jax. There is an undeniable connection between us. I may be only 22, but I'm not naïve enough to recognize how special that connection is. That song you just sang, that you wrote for me? It proves that you feel that connection too.

"And I want more, Jax. I want more than just a frenzied taste of you in the back of a club. I just want that boy with his guitar. I want you, Jax. All that you are, and I don't expect anything more than that. You don't have to do or be anything more than that for me, ever."

"Oh baby," he swallowed thickly and then chuckled softly, "Sweet, gorgeous, fantastical girl... I want all that you are too, Rowan. I've wanted you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. I want to sink into that soft, sweet cleft you teased me with all day. I want to watch you gasp and cry beneath me. I want to make that canary voice of yours sing my name when I make you come around me. All I've been able to think about is you. All I want at this moment is you. Can I have you?"

"Yes," she gasped, "yes please." Her voice was soft and quivery. He could almost hear her heart beat in each syllable. He could certainly feel her chest pounding against his. He leaned forward to kiss her, but just before their lips touched, she pulled back.

"Wait," she rasped out. "Um... I'm kind of out of practice with this, but do you have, you know... protection?" Her face burst into flame and he laughed lightly, kissing the deep red circle on each cheek.

"Yes, baby. I do. I'm assuming we need it then?"

"I'm not on any birth control or anything. I used to be, but I've let it lapse like a complete and utter fool."

Jaxon laughed. "You're not foolish, but yes. I have condoms with me. I knew I wouldn't be able to be around you today and not be prepared to fuck the ever-loving hell out of you."

"Then what are we waiting for? Fuck me, Jaxon" she reached for his mouth with her own again, making Jaxon whimper this time at the boldness of her words and tongue.

One strong hand pulled her closer by the small of her back so that their chests, stomachs and hips touched. His other hand continued to stroke her long fragrant hair, pulling it this way and that way so that her mouth would slant first one way than the other across his, deepening the kiss and completely overwhelming Rowan's senses. Instead of tugging at his short-cropped hair, she pulled at his shoulders and back, pulling him as close as she could. She sat up in order to kiss him better and Jaxon gripped a taut, rounded cheek and pressed her hips full against his. She half gasped, half whimpered at the hot, thick press of him against her lower stomach and hips.

"Mmmm, hot damn, your mouth is so sexy," Jaxon said against her lips and Rowan smiled before sucking his bottom lip between her teeth to nibble. Jaxon's blood rushed hot and thick at the nip of her teeth, but no matter how appetizing and desiring her mouth may be, he found his hands itching to feel once again her soft, smooth skin. He slipped a long-fingered hand beneath her blue Henley, running his hand over her stomach, inching up to the satiny cup of her bra and then around to the smooth expanse of her back. She sighed with his warm touch, her body melting in response.

Jaxon's hands found her waist again and he pulled her off of the little padded piano bench, laying her down on the plush sound-proofing carpet. He positioned himself over the top of her and settled one of his hard, muscled thighs between her own. He claimed her mouth, drawing in her tongue to tease and stroke. Rowan slid her hands beneath his shirt, stroking his muscular back. She balled the soft fabric of his shirt in her fists and dragged it up over his head. Jaxon helped finish removing it and tossed it over the edge.

"You are so gorgeous, Jaxon, so sexy..." Rowan panted as she traced her fingertips over the lines of his chest and down over the hard planes of his stomach, her eyes following their path. "I want to feel every inch of you..."

"Same, baby, same..." He caught her eye and held her gaze as he tugged her shirt up inch by inch. He lowered his head without breaking eye contact and kissed the soft skin he was exposing, touching the tip of his tongue to first this spot and then that.

Shivers of sensation swam through her body and across the surface of her skin, beading the flesh of her arms and breasts. Jaxon smiled to know that he was the cause of it. He moved back up to her face, tugging on her top as he did so until he was able to pull it up over her head where it then joined his shirt on the floor. He looked down at her lush body, the full breasts, the narrow waist, and the wide full hips. A hot spike rushed through him and he bit back a moan.

"You," he kissed her, "are" another kiss, "the one" one more kiss, "who is fucking sexy."

Rowan laughed and ran the flat of her hand over the taut muscles of his chest, pinching a flat, male nipple in the process.

"No, you are fucking sexy. Especially this," she slid her hand down further to rub aggressively against the hardness straining against the stiff fabric of his jeans. He shuddered with the pleasure of her hard touch and then smiled impishly. Threading his fingers through her long hair to pull on the thick mass of it, he made her arch her neck. He bent his mouth to the visible pulse, biting and licking at it enough to make Rowan moan and dig her nails into his back.

She arched her back, pressing her bra clad chest against his bare one and he decided that it was high time for that sexy article of clothing to join the others on the floor. With his free hand, he deftly undid the clasp at her back before hooking a finger into the front, lifting it up and away from her gorgeous breasts.

He sat back away from her for a moment, watching her with lascivious eyes. He watched every heaving breath until the intensity of his gaze caused her to flush even further, so that her breasts turned pink and her nipples beaded to the extreme. He leaned forward and traced the path of her flushed skin with his mouth, from her pink cheeks, to her swollen red lips, down her throat still red from his nibbling, over her collarbone to the rounded swell of her breasts. He gripped one in each hand, marveling once again at how his large hands were unable to cover all of her, and he feasted on the exposed mounds before moving to the beaded, velvet, pink nipples.

Jaxon's teeth bit just hard enough before suckling softly once again and she moaned expressively, causing Jaxon's cock to jump in his jeans. The pressure against him was too much, so thick was he, filled with hot, pulsing blood, so he unhooked and unzipped his jeans to give him room to breathe. He positioned his cock, freeing it from his jeans but not from his tight boxer briefs and he found himself amazed with how very large he actually had become, so deep and strong was his arousal for her.

"Mmmmm..." she purred, her hands gravitating to his freed cock. He gasped and stilled her hands.

"Not yet, baby, let me see you, taste you, please."

She rolled her hips in answer, and lowered her hands. He raised his eyes to her face and his cock jumped again to see passion so visibly etched across her features. She is so fucking gorgeous! Jaxon thought, feeling a bit overwhelmed and breathless by her beauty; her cheeks flushed, her smoky, emerald green eyes nearly hidden by her lowered lids. Her pert, cupid bow's mouth slightly parted as her tongue darted and flicked to wet her lips, that glistening, golden array of hair fanned out above her head with one hand tangled in it... He felt lost suddenly, consumed by the artistry that was her.

Jaxon's head lowered, tripping over her ribs to nibble her navel while his hands tugged on the tight hem of her black jeans. He popped the button and unzipped them, tugging them open to reveal the very top edge of her panties. He moved to the swath of soft rose-pink and burgundy tattooed stars on her right hip bone, tracing the outline with his tongue.

"These stars are so lovely, too. Like a painting etched into your skin. They fit your beautiful body perfectly."

"Thank you... It was painful but worth it..."

"As so many beautiful things are," his voice was low and husky, barely more than a whisper and he wondered if he was talking more to himself than he was to her.

He bent his head back, resuming his tracing and Rowan's skin broke out in bumps once again as she shivered with the feel of it. He smiled and caught her eye and she gave him an open mouth smile back, lips parted with a slight pant. His breath caught in his throat at the beauty and seductiveness of it.

He swallowed thickly, his hands pulling at her pants until they slid all the way off and fell to the floor revealing her bright pink lace thong. He continues to trace the path of her stars down, following the progression in color from light to dark until they disappeared into the hem of her panties. He traced the outline of her folds through the lace making her shudder before hooking fingers into the top and pulling them off as well. He gave himself a quick peek at her pussy which was sparkling with dew in the dim recessed lighting and bit his lip. Fuck, she was gorgeous, such a pretty pussy. He wanted to sink into her right then and there but he also wanted this to last.

"I could look at this pussy forever, baby. You're so beautiful."

"Thank you," Rowan breathed back at him, her hips rolling in invitation.

Jaxon sat back to kneel over her, moving back to kiss her sexy mouth, letting her play with his tongue for the simple pleasure of it. He pulled away again, teasing her and leaving her wanting just another kiss, just another sweep of his tongue. She pouted for half a second until he kissed a nipple on his way down her body, flicking his tongue at it and watching it bead in response before moving back between her legs. Even though he had tasted her hours before, he couldn't resist the tantalizing call of her wet heat.

He pushed her knees open and gripped her hips, scooting down her body so that her hot peachy pussy was right beneath his ready mouth. He used his thumbs to gently part her plump folds that were practically steaming with need. He stroked the lush, smooth length of her with his thumbs, enjoying the clean smoky scent of the moisture he coaxed from her depths.

"Oh holy God," he whispered to her pink lips, feeling the blood surge hot and needy in his veins.

He thumbed her clit and then looked up, studying her face, once again flushed with arousal, her bright pink tongue darting over those red lips. He watched her response as he buried a thick thumb into her, her eyes scrunched tight and she bit her lip, whimpering. She was so wet, so ready that he didn't need to do this but to be honest with himself, she tasted so sweet that tasting her once was not enough, would never be enough.

His mouth watered in anticipation and her whimpers turned into a gasp when he finally lowered his mouth to her, the taste of her bursting on his tongue: charcoal and honey, so deliciously clean and purely feminine that Jaxon nearly died with the taste of it. He caressed and suckled that hot bud of flesh at the top of her folds, like a burning brand against his tongue, all the while using his long fingers to delve into and stretch the achingly tight depths of her.

"Oh fuck... Jaxon... oh," Rowan's body undulated with every stroke of his tongue, her breath rushing past her lips in moans, whimpers and gasping pleasure that he was producing. He loved everything about this, the taste of her, the feel of her hot and moist against his face, his mouth, and especially the sound of her. Not only were the sounds incredibly stimulating and arousing, every gasp and moan, every murmur of his name was like a medal of honor he could pin to his chest as proof of the pleasure he was causing.

He could feel her body start to tense, her moans becoming almost rhythmic and he kept the pressure of his tongue and the motion of his fingers steady, excited to taste her as she came. He didn't have to wait long as her orgasm burst against his lips and her walls clenched around his fingers half a dozen times, each breathy, gasping moan coinciding with a pulse of her orgasm.

He felt an overwhelming need to feel that sweet heat against his cock, to bury himself and get lost in those pulses down below, in her sweet little body clinging to his shaft, her soft desperate cry... He tugged his underwear down to expose his hardness and covered her body with his own, nestling the underside of his naked cock against her outer folds, just for a moment while he kissed her, his face still dripping with her orgasm. She pulled at his shoulders, then back, her kisses sweet and insistent as she came down from her orgasmic high.

"My god, Jaxon..." she whispered against his mouth. "That was so intense. You've given me more intense orgasms today than I've had in a month's time, and you haven't even fucked me yet." She tilted her hips, rubbing her sweet heat up and down his shaft and it was his turn to moan. "I want you inside me now, please."

"Fuck yes," he reared back for a moment to tug a condom from the front right pocket of his jeans. He rolled it on quickly and then rid himself of his pants and underpants. She took a nervous breath as he positioned himself between her legs, rubbing the tip of his cock against her wetness. She reached between their bodies and gripped him, thick and hard, in her fist. Tilting her hips up, she pressed the shaft of him against her slick, moist folds to wet him thoroughly from tip down to his thick, tight, scrunched and aching sack. Jaxon shuddered with the feel of her hot body against him and he ached to drive hard and fast into her, but managed to contain himself so he wouldn't hurt her.

He leaned forward, pulling Rowan's hand from between them and then draped her arm around his neck so she would grip his neck and shoulders. He rested his forehead against hers, close enough to share breath. Looking down into her eyes, he slipped one arm beneath her back to hug her close and the other beneath her hips, gripping her bottom to tilt her hips up to receive him.

Jaxon dipped his mouth to hers, keeping his eyes slanted, slightly open to catch every expression that should pass over her features as he pressed forward, parting the wet, swollen folds of her body in an achingly sweet stretch. He went slow, her body tight and hot around him, giving her time to adjust to the heavy, hard width and length of him.

"Oh God, Jaxon..." She broke their kiss with a gasp. She arched her back with the sting of him pressing into her. He was so hard and so big that it took a moment for her body to relax, for the pain to subside into pleasure for her.

"Breathe, baby, breathe..." Jaxon coached and she drew a deep breath. On the exhale she pressed forward with her hips, relaxing, and it was Jaxon's turn to moan.

Jaxon felt the change in her body, felt the muscles slack a bit around him and he pressed deeper, pushing nearly to the hilt into her. Her hot little channel was so tight, and her long lips felt plush around his shaft as he settled in. It was Jaxon's turn to moan in amazement and pleasure that one, it should feel this damn good, and two, her body was capable of taking almost all of him in.

Jaxon pulled out slowly, coaxing a whimper, and then thrust deep again, making her moan. He breathed hard against her cheek, trying desperately to restrain himself. He wanted so badly to thrust with all his might and spend himself within the agonizingly pleasurable depths of her, instinct driving him, pushing at his restraint... But he wanted her to enjoy it too, so he took his time and thrust again more slowly and deeper still.

"This ok? You ok baby? This feel good?"

"Mmm, yes. Yesyesyesyes..." She mumbled, ending on a gasp.

She swallowed thickly, mumbling Jaxon's name before catching his mouth with her own. She teased and stroked his lips and tongue, moving her hand down to grip a sexy cheek tightly. The touch of her hand was like a signal for Jaxon and he quickened his pace, thrusting in earnest though slower than his instincts were telling him too, but enough to satisfy them both. His cock was hard and thick and deliciously slick and she lost herself in the rhythm that he created, her back arched, her breasts bouncing with each thrust. Jaxon couldn't resist lowering his mouth to a tantalizing beaded peak.

"Oh fuck... mmm... Jaxon... oh, ah..." she couldn't keep quiet as the slick thrusting and sliding caused erotic sparks of pleasure to course through her body.

Jaxon didn't want her to keep quiet or to suppress her pleasure and he gasped as her silken, seductive voice flowed from her and through him, heightening his arousal. She was so warm, so tight, so wet and when she lifted her knees up to his shoulders, placed the bottom of her feet against the sides of his hips, pumping her hips in time to his thrusts, he lost all control over that raging masculine instinct inside him. He moved his arm from beneath her hip, hooked her knee up and over his shoulder, and then leaned in, nearly pressing it to the floor. The new stretch and friction made them both cry out so incredulously delicious was the feeling.

"Oh God, Jaxon... so good..." Rowan panted in his ear making him nearly lose it. He changed his angle up in a way that would be better for her but cause less pleasure for him so he would last longer. However, the new angle turned out to be much for her and she cried out again, moaning his name as her body convulsed with a second climax. The wet, hot muscles constricted in waves and pulses around his cock. Just like that, he lost himself within her depths, milked by the muscles of her body, crying out her name in return.

"Fuck, Rowan... Oh... Ah..." He gasped, pumping his hips jerkily as he came, his mind lost to all cognition. The white-hot pleasure rising up from the base of his spine and then ripping strong and hard through him. He collapsed, shocked, spent and exhausted against Rowan's chest.

"Fuck." His breath heaved along with hers, sweat glistening on them both, mixing and mingling along with the juices of their bodies. He released her legs, and propped himself up on his still trembling arms in order to smile down into her face and kiss her softly as emotion welled up from his core. He held the feeling back, holding his smile all the while his insides writhed against that something that forced itself against the center of his chest. He knew this was another moment, one he would never forget.

"Mmm," she murmured against his lips. "Wow."

"You're telling me." he could only whisper back, unable to speak past the thick feeling in his throat, his silver eyes round as they stared into hers. He cleared his throat and lowered his eyes to her lips, her cheeks, taking in the beauty that was her post-orgasmic glow. "Wow is an understatement."

"Really? Not too bad for being rusty then, huh?" she teased gently, attempting to pull him from the emotion she could sense hiding under his skin.

He let her pull him back from that emotional edge and gave a breathy laugh, sitting back on his knees.

"If that's you rusty, I can't wait to see you warmed up," he teased while he divested himself of the spent condom, tying it carefully to contain the contents. He tucked it back into the wrapper, then put the whole mess into the back pocket of his jeans.

"Oh trust me, I would want nothing more in the world for you to warm me up," she laughed back and then shivered.

"You cold, baby?" She nodded and lay back down on his side, one arm propped beneath his head. He pulled her close so that she snuggled into his embrace, tucking her head into his chest. She draped her arm around him and began stroking a light pattern up and down his back, rubbing a tense muscle here and there.

"I almost don't need a blanket. You're a real-life radiator," she mumbled sleepily against his clavicle.

"Mmm," he answered, pleasure and a deep calm radiating through him at her touch. He wrapped his right arm around her, stroking the plush skin of her hip before gripping her behind and tucking her even closer so that they were in full contact from sternum to navel. The post orgasmic drowsiness began to pull him under now that his body was relaxed and his emotional balance restored for the moment. In the last moments of consciousness, he saw an image of Rowan's laughing face and smiled.

Chapter Eleven

"... such delicious sweets."

Jaxon roused from beneath the fog of his light doze, struggling to regain consciousness, his body urging him to wake and satisfy the growing need to empty his bladder. As his senses returned, he discovered the pleasant weight of Rowan against him. She was practically laying on top of him, pressed from naked breast to soft, bare mound. Her head was snuggled into the crook of his neck, each sleepy breath teasing his clavicle, her left arm hung over his waist, and left leg was flung over his hip. Her long silky hair was a jumble, just all over the place. He felt it tickling his lips and clinging to his beard growth.

He ignored the growing pressure in his bladder to stroke a hand along the curve of her hip. Her skin was so soft and smooth. He couldn't remember a time he had woken up with a woman in his arms that was more satisfying than this, despite the fact that they were laying on the sound-proofed floor in the live room of his friend TJ's recording studio. He had a crick in his neck and his left arm was asleep where her head lay, but that didn't diminish the peace he felt at this exact moment. Unfortunately, nature was not to be ignored, and if he didn't want to wake her up from a warm stream, he needed to disentangle himself from her pleasant weight right now.

He gently eased away from her. Damn, she was a sound sleeper, he mused, and so lovely lying there, face so serene in sleep. He pulled on his boxer briefs, gathered the spent condom to dispose of and quick-stepped it to the restroom, passing through the engineer room and out into the hall. Once he reached the bathroom, he tossed the condom in the trash bin, spying one already there and wondered idly at whose it might be. Probably TJ's, he thought to himself. This was a prime pussy spot for TJ, though Jax had never seen its appeal until now.

It's quite a different thing to bring a fan in here, hell not even that, to bring Rowan here, though. Very exposing, like a very naked feeling he didn't usually associate with fans.

Like he told Rowan during their own little version of "Dashboard Confessionals" last night, he'd never quite seen the allure of groupies. Still didn't even after he'd spent time indulging in their ready willingness and violating his own personal moral code. Even though he's known her now for just about 36 hours, he knew with a certainty that Rowan wasn't in any way shape or form a groupie, not by a long shot. Really, the only star-struck thing about her was the way she had melted when he played his music for her tonight... It was overwhelming in the best way possible.

That one moment validated his art more strongly in his mind than playing to a crowd of a hundred thousand. The pure ecstasy, the very real admiration for his art, for his craft was evident in every fiber of her being and it sang to his very soul. He would forever be grateful to Rowan for that, for exposing that piece of herself so willingly and offering it up to his memory forever.

After satisfying his urgent need, he washed up a bit in the bathroom, splashing water on his face and feeling slightly more awake. It was far from the shower he so desperately needed, but it would have to do. TJ had a little room at the other end of this hall, so to the left of the engineer room, to crash in when he was too deep into a project to make the drive home. It had a larger bathroom attached with a stand up shower with an open invitation, but with Rowan still asleep, he didn't want to disappear on her and risk her waking up alone in an unfamiliar setting.

A rumble from his stomach had him hunting for the little open kitchenette area positioned across from the engineer room. From here, he could see through the large glass windows into the live room.

TJ liked all the open space for collaboration, so all the artists and musicians that gathered here could feel like a community, which they were. At least once a year he'd have all of his musician buddies in for what was affectionately known as "music camp" where they shot the shit and explored new sounds, new equipment, new musical instruments, and just riff off each other's melodies and ideas. The synthetic sound built with one of TJ's sound toys in the opening of Rowan's favorite song, "Come Around" had been dreamt up during one of those sessions. He was thankful for that open concept now because it allowed him to keep an eye out if Rowan woke up.

The small fridge was thankfully full of drinks and various snacks, but nothing really substantial. Jaxon pulled two water bottles from the fridge and two apple juices. He dug around and found a box of snack crackers and a box of granola bars to go along with the string cheese he found. Not the healthiest, but enough to settle the rumble in both of their stomachs.

He settled back against the counter and pounded a water bottle, feeling instantly refreshed. As he bit into a granola bar, his mind once again settled on the source of all of his jumbled feelings, Rowan, and all the little and big moments he'd had with her since he met her.

Analyzing his emotions and reflecting on his actions wasn't something he usually did, and if he did, those emotions and thoughts ended up in a song where it stayed there. It didn't spill into his life and challenge the very core of his being and disrupt the world that he'd carefully and skillfully crafted for himself. A world always so busy, rushing from one project to the next to the point that it left little room for deep, soul-baring relationships. If he wasn't working on an album, or touring, he was doing press junkets, interviews, little guest spots on talk shows or SNL. In the past few years, he'd even wedged acting into the down time between tours, resulting in two major box office films.

Huh! Jax sat back, a little stunned with a new thought. Maybe that was why his relationship with Carmen ultimately failed and not because she'd taken advantage of his slightly more elevated celebrity status. He thought he needed to connect with someone from the world of celebrity because he'd never found a true connection with a fan, with those girls that lived on earth while he circled around in the atmosphere, mingling amongst the stars. But maybe it wasn't that at all. Maybe Carmen wasn't actually his type after all. Maybe they didn't work not because she took advantage of his celebrity and used his status to elevate hers, but because he really didn't feel like he fit into that world.

What if entering into a relationship with Carmen was his attempt to fit into a world he never felt a part of? He hated press junkets, Carmen glowed during them. He hated paparazzi, Carmen used them, he hated posh little parties rubbing elbows with directors and screen writers, Carmen loved them. He cringed when a tabloid got hold of his face, or even when a well known and respected newspaper published an interview. All of the fake, all of the 'celebrity' had always felt like such a narcissistic pursuit.

At his core, if he really looked deep into himself, he was just Jax from Bartlett, Tennessee. Nothing he said or did was ever important enough to print up in a magazine. When he looked in the mirror and saw a face with a too-big nose, curly, unruly hair, too-wide eyes, and a too-wide jaw. He wasn't Brad Pitt by any means, and didn't want to be or even feel like someone of that swoon-worthy caliber.

He was goofy and sarcastic. He liked good food and good beer, riding motorcycles on back country roads, and swinging golf balls into green hills. He liked dancing with pretty girls in a dimly lit club, flirting on the dance floor. He liked playing fetch with his dogs while pretty girls laughed and played along. He liked sitting by the side of a creek underneath a willow tree, listening to the autumn wind sing around him while a pretty girl sighed beneath him. He didn't feel like this big, larger-than-life celebrity, so why had he been for the past ten years?

Maybe it all came down to the fans. Since he was 16 and had "made it big," crossed over from just some kid in a boy band trying to get noticed, to Jaxon Trentwell, pop artist from In-Time, the hottest boy band since New Kids on the Block. Gaining that world-wide audience had inspired nearly every female he'd met in the last ten years to gush and fawn over him more than a little to the point that he couldn't really see who he was or who they were underneath all the star-struck behavior. And he missed it.

Hot damn, he missed it.

He missed connecting on a human level, in a space that was earthly and real. Missed holding a normal conversation that didn't revolve around the fact that he was Jaxon Trentwell, Grammy musical artist of the year three years in a row. He missed it so much but let this world he was a part of distract him from that.

Well that's surprising, he thought. Surprising because he'd found that connection with Rowan and he hadn't even realized it. He'd been so caught up in this pull between them, this lust he felt for her since he first saw Rowan yesterday shining under those studio lights. He had felt that instant lust for her that he hadn't felt for anyone in so long, he let it consume him and again distract him from the realization that they had a deeper connection than just wanting to fuck each other's brains out. Yes, that feeling of instant lust was inexplicable and had him chasing her down for the past two days so he could try to understand it, but he erroneously assumed that once he had gotten her beneath him, the mystery would be solved.

Now he'd had her beneath him and they had fucked each other's brains out, that mystery and awe of her wasn't dissipating. He had tasted her, felt her cum around him, watched her beautiful face writhe beneath him while he made her gasp his name, but the pull hadn't disappeared. Even now, he wanted to go in there and cuddle up to her, fall asleep in her hair and breathe her in, and that had nothing to do with lust and everything to do with who she was.

He had 'seen' her, like Rowan had said yesterday. He had seen all of her, but he wanted more. He'd gotten to know her, discovered all these little pieces of her personality that only sharpened his desire for her. He'd lived the last ten years of his life with females fawning over him, screaming his name, desperate for a simple glance or touch. He realized now that his stint with the groupies wasn't just about satisfying an itch to get off, it was, on a deeper level, about searching for that perfect connection with the perfect girl so he could find his way back to himself.

Damn, Jax thought again. There it was, or rather there she was. He'd found her and her name was Rowan. Rowan had pulled him back, helped him find his way back to himself, to that boy who would stay up late writing a song about a pretty girl not only for the girl, but for the love of music and not so it could be packaged and sold to the world.

Feeling a little more than shaken at this realization and without a clue as to what to do with it, he snagged the remaining snacks and drinks, then made his way back to the engineer room. A blinking red light from the monitors stopped him in his tracks.

Shit.

He'd left the mics open which meant that the tracks he had set to record his song for Rowan had been left on until they timed out and he didn't know what automatic presets TJ had set for time limits on digital tracks. He might still be openly recording even now, provided the storage was available. A small throb pulsed through him when he realized what that meant. He had recorded having sex with Rowan for the first time.

Uh-oh. That would never do.

He set the snacks down on a side table and seated himself at the controls. The time stamp on the recording stated that it timed out over two hours ago, but had lasted for more than an hour. It had definitely recorded their sex.

He scrolled through, pulling the tracks up and wondered what the heck to do about it. It was too late, or early depending on how you looked at it, to call TJ and ask him how to erase only the parts he wanted to. He knew enough about the monitors and board to start the recording, but not enough to manipulate the sound or how to erase only a piece of a recording.

"Everything ok?" Rowan asked, and he jumped out of his skin, his heart racing.

"Hoo, baby. You scared me." He placed a hand over his racing heart.

"I can see that, I'm sorry!" She placed her hand over his and he pulled her into his lap. She had her panties and her blue waffle-knit henley pulled on over her nakedness, but she still had enough skin showing that it felt more than a little nice to have her in his lap. She pressed her chest to his and kissed him in apology. He leaned into it for half a breath and then she backed off with a little squirm of her hips.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to visit the little girl's room," she jumped up and he watched her sexy round ass sashay out of the room.

The clock on the wall told him it was a quarter past two am, so definitely the wrong time to call TJ for help. That also meant he had less than four hours to get Rowan to the airport and his stomach dropped.

Before he could expound on that thought, Rowan was back, her face freshly scrubbed and draped in a faux velvet throw.

"Where'd you find that?"

"I hope your friend doesn't mind, but I snooped into a little cupboard next to the bathroom and found towels, cleaning supplies, and this. I have no idea whose it is, and I'll leave money to have it washed, but I am freezing. I hope it's ok," she finished with a shiver.

"Of course it's ok. I just hope it's clean enough to use, is all. Clean is questionable around here." He pulled her close and nuzzled his face into her stomach, his head bent forward. She played with his hair, digging her fingers into his scalp and he sighed deep, feeling so relaxed and so free right here against her skin.

"So what happened earlier that made you look so worried?" She asked.

"Mmmmm..." he stalled, "that feels so good, baby."

"Good. I'll keep going while you tell me what's wrong then."

He sighed and pulled back, patting the chair next to him. She plunked down and snagged an apple juice from the side table. He watched her for a moment, admiring the way she tilted her head back to swallow, his eyes following the line of her throat... so lovely.

"So, uh," he cleared his throat and shook his head. "In all fairness and honesty, I think I accidentally recorded us having sex earlier." Rowan sputtered and coughed, gasping and Jax patted her back.

"I'm sorry, are you ok?" he asked, concerned.

"Yes, that was just not what I was expecting to hear, at all! What happened, now?"

"I forgot to stop the recording in the heat of the moment and now I don't know exactly how to cut the tape and erase just the naughty part." He smiled in what he hoped was an innocent way and she flushed.

"So like, our... you know... is all on there?"

"Yep. I'm sorry."

"It's... okay. That's another first for me then."

Jaxon laughed. "What do you mean?"

"That's the first time I've ever been recorded having sex. I know it's just audio, but hey, I can check that off my bucket list." Rowan smiled and Jax laughed.

"Well, I'm glad you're not mad."

"No, but you should still find a way to erase it, for safety."

"Definitely. Before we do that though... Wanna listen to it?" She spluttered and blushed.

"Really?"

"Why not? I thought you were going to embrace your wild and crazy side with me? You're not curious at all?"

Rowan's eyes narrowed, a light of competition he hadn't seen on her face yet bloomed prettily in her eyes. "All right, challenge accepted, but only if I get to hear your song again."

"You mean your song?"

Her face softened, just melted from her brow to her lips and she nodded. "Yes please."

"This was supposed to be a sexy moment you know. Now you're making my heart jump out of my chest with that look."

"What do you mean?"

His breath picked up its pace despite that resettling of that weight behind his ribs.

"Honestly... I don't all the way know yet myself. But I think it means that I could watch you look at me like that all day. Far more than I have any right to, anyway."

She shook her head and then smiled. "You're not making any sense."

"Oh I know, trust me."

"Promise you'll tell me when you figure it out?"

"That I can do. I promise." He leaned forward and kissed her, sipping sweetly from her lips for a few heartbeats.

"Ok," she pulled back, "play my song for me please."

Jax smiled and hit the playback button for the two tracks he recorded, one for the mic aimed at his guitar, the other for the dynamic mic for his vocals.

He winced as his professional ear picked out all the little places that needed refining, mentally resting a lyric or two to fit the beat better on the second verse. Rowan subtly swayed beside him, gripping his hand and he heard a tell-tale sniffle.

"That is such a beautiful song. I'm still so flattered that you wrote that while you were thinking of me. Thank you." She signed, resting her cheek on his shoulder. He placed a kiss on the top of her head then rested his check against her.

"I meant every word." He caught her eyes falling into the green pool, suffocating in their depths. He felt words nestled just behind his sternum, aching to burst up and out, but just as he was about to open his mouth, he was interrupted by the very erotic sound of Rowan's breathy moan pouring from the playback speakers.

"Oh. My. God." Her mouth dropped open and he laughed.

The sound of their voices was faint considering the fact that they weren't directly in front of any mics, but the dynamic mic he had on was designed to pick up a plethora of sound and you could hear their conversation quite clearly despite the level of volume. Rowan's breath hitched when she heard her own sighs and gasps of pleasure coming through the speakers. She clapped a hand over her mouth, turning wide eyes on Jax.

"Oh my god! Is it just me, or are we freaking hot?"

"Yes, we are freaking hot. You are freaking hot. Beyond so."

"So are you," she leaned forward and kissed him, shivering slightly from either arousal or the coolness of the room. He leaned in, kissing her back and then paused the recording.

"Thank you. I'll figure out how to erase that, so it doesn't come back to bite you, promise." He stood and held out his hand. "Come on, you're freezing. Let me warm you up."

He pulled her onto the little leather love-seat set against the left wall in the engineer room, and wrapped her up in the faux-fur throw.

"Hmmmm..." Rowan sighed happily, snuggling into Jaxon's left side. She played with his free right hand, running her fingers over the calloused ridges at the tip of his fingers. She lifted his hand and ran those fingers across her lips then down the line of her throat and across the delicate skin of her breasts.

"I love the way your fingers feel against my skin, you know?"

"Yeah," Jax breathed, then swallowed hard.

"They scratch just a little, catch here and there. It's such a delicious juxtaposition... the hardness of just the tips, but the soft skin following right behind. Feels amazing."

"You're amazing," he kissed the top of her head and then closed his eyes, focusing on the feel of her.

"I know we've talked about it before, but this is... I mean... you are..." her voice quivered and her hand stopped along their path to clench his.

"Hey, it's okay, baby," Jax let go of her hand to pull her into his lap, settling her comfortably against him. "I feel it too, you don't have to say a thing."

"I'm sorry. I can't help it, it's just so stupid," she mumbled into his chest and he chuckled at her sweetness.

"What is stupid?" he asked over the top of her head, breathing in her beguiling scent of roses steeped in vanilla.

"These tears. I said that I wasn't going to cry on you when we first met, yet here I am, blubbering all over your shirt. I feel like I've been crying since you brought me to this place."

"Blubber away, I get it. I'm about five seconds from doing the same thing, I promise you," and he did feel it there in his throat, at the back of his eyes. She was right. It was stupid, but that didn't make the tears any more important or necessary than they were.

"It's like..." she drew a deep breath, hovering on the edge of a realization, working it out in real time with him, and he hung on every word. "I feel seen with you, by you. I know that doesn't make much sense, but you see me. That song..." her lip trembled and she dipped her head, gathering herself for a heartbeat before bringing her eyes back to his.

"For the first time since my ex, I feel like all of my little parts are coming back together and it's you sewing them up. You see all those little pieces. You've reached into the dark corners, shown a light and found the little slivers that I couldn't find myself, and put them back into place. I feel whole and wholly new with you.

"The old Rowan kept her head down, you know? I kept to the plan, I wrote all my little notes down and followed them to the letter. You came in and ripped it all up. The old broken Rowan would be furious with you for doing that, but with all my pieces back together, I just feel excited for whatever might be next instead of worrying that I don't know what comes next.

"You saw me, all of me, Jax. You see that girl next door with a goofy smile and too-boistrous laugh, with an easy blush and easy tears, but you want me anyway. You did see all of me from across the room, and I see you too." She swallowed around the tears once again sparkling in her eyes and Jax's brow wrinkled, his heart pumping oddly in his chest with more than just desire.

She squeezed his hand when he didn't, couldn't, respond. He felt seen too and he knew she had no idea how much of himself she had really seen. More than he'd shown anyone in so very long. So why couldn't he speak? Why couldn't he lay it out like she did just now? What was keeping him from telling her everything, right here and right now?

"You okay, Jax? God, did I just ruin everything by admitting all of that?" She chewed her lip, her eyes anxious and luminously green beneath a crumbled brow.

"No," he swallowed thickly. "You didn't ruin anything, baby. Not a damn thing. You're perfect. All of those pieces are just so achingly perfect, I..." his breath hitched. He felt more vulnerable than he had ever felt, just completely emotionally naked. It was rocking him to his core.

"Hey, I'm right here. It's ok. I get it." She caressed his face, her dainty fingers tripping over his stubble.

His head shook. "You don't get it. I mean, you do, but... I need to say it. I don't want to let you go without telling you exactly how I feel. I..." he stopped and sucked in a breath, feeling his own tears welling in the corner of his eye, then laughed at himself. "I just realized this morning that I've been so lonely for so long, Rowan. So long until you. After Carmen, I buried myself in my work. I put my head down and started to rush through life. I couldn't get close to fans because they were all too star-struck to see me, the real me, you know? And after Brianna and Carmen, I decided that I couldn't date celebrities because they would either destroy me or use me..." he trailed off, a tear slipping past his lid. He swiped angrily at it with the back of his hand.

"God, I must sound so pathetic. The great Jaxon Trentwell, complaining about his larger-than-life status."

"Hey, I don't think that," Rowan said gently, grabbing his fist and unclenching it. "I don't think that at all. Like you said, we are allowed to feel how we feel. No judgment here, I promise."

He cleared his throat and took a steadying breath. "You're right that we have this connection that's deeper than desire, deeper than just wanting to fuck each other's brains out," she laughed and rolled her hips against his semi-hardness.

"I still do, though. I don't think that desire will ever go away no matter how many orgasms you give me. You're just too fucking sexy."

"Oh trust me, I know," he smiled at that, the weight easing from his chest as she put him at ease, drawing him from himself.

"But," he continued, "that's what made me realize that we had more, that there was more between us. You're a fan, true, and this might sound terrible, but hang in there with me, I've got a point I promise."

"Ok," she laughed.

"But um... with the groupies, after the sex was over the relationship was over. It was done. I didn't want anything more from them. I didn't feel any more desire to talk to them or be with them. I know that sounds awful, but it's because, like I said, I didn't get to see who they really were. But with you... You're a fan, right, but you're so much more. I do see you, Rowan. I see all of you, and it makes me want to show you every little piece of me too. I realized I've been doing that all along since I met you. I've been laying my heart on the line this whole time without even realizing I am and you've taken such good care of it.

"You're amazing. I am in awe of you." He brushed the tear from her cheek with his thumb and then stilled her trembling lip. "You're so brave, to be here, to meet me at every turn. I've pushed your buttons, questioned your truthfulness when you were brave enough to show me all of you, and you pushed right back, hiding nothing. I guess it made me brave enough to show you all of me too. Thank you for helping me find my way back to myself. I'm just that boy from down the street too, with a guitar and a song. It took meeting and falling for you to realize that."

She gasped. "You can't mean that."

"Oh, but I think I do, Rowan. I do. How could I not? I know it's quick and it's probably too soon to say it, but... how could I not? You saved me with just a word yesterday in that studio. Saved me from a lonely, dark place of self-hatred. I'm realizing that now. How could I not fall for you for doing that? For being so amazingly brave enough to do that?"

"Oh my God, Jaxon... I..."

"It's ok, you don't have to say it back. Not if you don't mean it."

"But I do, I do mean it. I've fallen for you too, for all the same reasons, for seeing me and fixing all of my broken pieces when I couldn't fix them myself. I will forever thank you for that and for all that you are." Her voice broke on the last word and he crushed her against his chest, tears falling down his face too.

"Thank you, beautiful sweet girl, thank you, Rowan. Thank you so much," he mumbled into her hair as she sniffled into his chest.

"Ok, enough of this," she pushed back and dried her eyes with her hands. He reached for the box of tissues on the side table and passed it to her. "Thank you. I refuse to spend the last few hours I have with you all to myself in a puddle of tears." She sounded more steady, with a new light of resolve in her eye as she dried her face and wiped her nose, pink now at her tears.

It was funny, the little things he noticed about her now that he was suffused with the powerful realization that he cared for her on a deeper level, like the fact tears made her nose grow pink while arousal brought a full flush. Arousal made other things flush, too, like the tops of her breasts. He traced a finger along the curve of that blush now, dipping into the open V of her top and her breath hitched in a much different way than the hitch of tears. Her nipples beaded at his continued tracing.

He watched, fascinated as they grew and then peaked. He slipped his fingertip beneath her top to hunt for a beaded peek. The rasp of a fingertip calloused from years of picking at guitar strings made her gasp and throw her head back. He teased her with his fingers, rolling his rough fingertips against her soft sensitive nipples until he felt that flush travel all the way to the V between her legs snuggled up tight against his thickening cock. The heat was steadily growing with each pass of a finger tip.

"Mmmm... that feels so, so good, Jaxon," her hips started to rock in answer to his continued ministrations. He leaned forward and captured the other tip between his lips over her shirt, rolling it around. Delicate hands reached out to clasp his head to her breast. He leaned back enough to pull the V of her shirt lower, exposing both her breasts by stretching her shirt open. Her breasts were flushed, the soft nipples bright pink except for the deep rose tip he traced with his tongue. She gasped and arched her back. He felt fascinated by her arousal, drugged by her rocking hips and the sound of his name playing on her lips.

He pulled back from her breasts and she kissed him, long and slow, plumbing his mouth with her tongue. "I want you," she breathed down at him, continuing that slow grind into his full dick. "Please, one last time, before I get on that plane and leave. Just like this. I want you inside me, loving me." Rowan rocked up his full length, her wet heat searing him between the thin layers of boxer brief and panty.

"Yes," he breathed back. She reached between them and tugged the hem of his boxers down low enough to cradle his balls instead of choke them. He sprang up hot and hard, with a drop of pre-cum already glistening at his tip. She gathered it in her fingers and sucked gently, humming her delight at his taste.

"I know we need a condom," Jaxon said, voice barely above a whisper, "but I want to feel you, just this once before..."

"Yes," she sobbed back. She pulled the gusset of her thong panty to the side and then dragged her dripping slit along his hard, hot length. He gasped at the feel of her searing wet heat, then groaned when she rose up and then settled back down on his cock, her little dainty hand holding him steady at her opening. She rolled his fat head around her wet slit, slicking and easing his entrance, before easing herself down on his length.

"Oh fuck," Jaxon groaned, clenching down on his self control so he wound't blow his load immediately. Her juicy folds gripped him so tightly while at the same time providing a generous plush feeling surrounding his cock, like an open mouth sucking at him.

"Yes... you're so, so thick, so deep this way. It hurts in the best way possible," Rowan gasped out haltingly as she took him all the way into her body, sitting down fully on his lap, her tight, hard clit pulled from its hood by the stretch was nestled snug against his groomed pubic bone. "I can feel you, so deep inside." She gripped her stomach low and pushed. "Here," and Jax felt the answering push on his cock.

"Holy shit," he moaned.

"Yes... so deep..." Rowan began to rock back and forth and roll her hips around, not enough to provide friction on his cock which remained firmly inside her, but enough to rub her clit teasingly against his pubic bone with just the right amount of friction. She moaned deeply above him, her breasts quivering. He could feel what must be the edge of her cervix push back with every roll of her hips. Holy fuck, he threw his head back and let her have her way, making no attempt to interfere with the rhythm she obviously found so pleasurable.

Her pace quickened, the roll steady but increasing, stimulating her clit in just the right way to make her gasp and whimper. She leaned forward and brought her forehead to his for a moment before kissing him. Hot, ragged breaths passed between them. They locked eyes, his tight with concentration, willing everything in his body to just take it and not thrust back, to just let her use him for her own pleasure so he could watch her beautifully expressive face.

"Oh Jax, I'm... I'm gonna... oh..." her hips pitched and then he felt her cumming around him, her tight, hot pussy clenching again and again, bathing his balls as she flooded his lap with her juices. He stared into her eyes, his heart swelling with her pleasure just as his cock attempted to swell past its capacity.

Her face was perfectly, achingly beautiful in her passion. Flushed, eyes brightly glazed, lips parted. Finally her walls relaxed, with a stray throb or two to mark the passing of an intense orgasm. His own cock throbbed in answer and he felt suddenly desperate to cum. He continued to hold back though. Years of resisting his impulses, of maintaining his composure when consumed with emotion finally paying off.

She collapsed against him, tucking her head beneath his chin and he held her close. What a marvel she was. Everything about her beyond any expectation of reality he could possibly have. He stroked from her silky blonde hair to her plush round buttocks, following the curve of her spine and attempting to absorb this moment in his memory.

The intimacy of it all was staggering. Less than two days ago, he had met this fan filled with assumptions about who she was and what she might want from him, and now he was cradled within her pussy just like she was cradled in his arms. He could not even begin to analyze the immensity of this moment. He felt whole, healed, replete, and so deeply in love. She wanted nothing but him, his art, his body, his mind, and though she hadn't asked, he had willingly laid down his heart.

Rowan roused and pulled back, bringing her green eyes to his blue.

"You ok in there? I didn't go too far did I?"

"More than ok. And you could never go too far with me. Use me however you'd like, love." Jax flexed his hard cock still buried inside her and she gasped, eyes widening. "Come back here," he pulled her back to him and kissed her softly, sweetly, with all the gentless and gratefulness he felt at that moment. She kissed back, giving everything she had too. He gripped her hips, taking control of the rhythm but she pulled back and climbed off.

"We need the condom," she said into his confused face.

"In the front pocket of my jeans." She kissed him soundly before disappearing into the live room to hunt out his jeans. He smiled. More confirmation that she wasn't in this for anything other than him. She was back in moments, a foil packet glinting under the lights. Before passing it to him, she knelt between his legs.

"Oh baby, if you do that, if you suck me, I'm cumming. Your pussy was so... I just... There are no words for how amazing your naked pussy feels. I am so close."

"Ok, but just a kiss," she kissed the wet tip of his dick, licking at his little slit for another drop of pre-cum, and he flinched from the shock wave of pleasure.

"Hoooh. Ok. Condom please." She giggled and handed it to him and he rolled it on quickly. "Climb back on up here, baby, please." She pulled her ruined panties off quickly and then climbed back into his lap, moaning as she settled down on his cock.

"Oh, fuck," Jax husked out, nearly delirous with pleasure. The condom of course diminished sensation but it didn't eliminate any of her wet heat or deny him the pleasure of her plush folds sucking and gripping at his cock.

"Yes, Jax, yes..." she panted as Jax took control. He gripped her hips, lifting and dropping her in time with his thrusts. She arched back and gripped his knees, giving him a bountiful view of her body. He watched his cock disappear and reappear into her dripping entrance as she bounced on his cock, full breasts rippling with each impact. He could feel that peak start, feel it grow and climb from his balls and slowed, prolonging this moment, drawing out her pleasure. She accepted each thrust with a whimpered "yes" or "Jax," heightening his pleasure with her honey-suckle voice.

"You're so deep, so deep, it hurts so good... fuck..." Jax changed the angle slightly, tilting his hips forward to hit that sweet spot at the front of her pussy and the inner walls of Rowan's vagina trembled, signaling her own impending orgasm. Jaxon let go, thrusting for all he was worth into her willing body as she began to tremble and climax once again around his cock. They came together, her body clenching as he released spurt after spurt into her.

She collapsed once more, his cock still buried inside her. He could feel all of the delicious little aftershocks from her truly spent pussy. In this position, he could even feel her little clit twitch.

"Oh my God," Rowan pulled back to look him in the eye. "Has it ever been that good for you? Because..." she shook her head. "I have never, and I mean NEVER cum like that before. I'm not just saying that."

"No. It has never been that good for me. You are amazing. Even that time was different, felt different."

"I know exactly what you mean," she smiled from her pretty, lovely face flushed red and glowing. He kissed her again, lingering on the feel of her lips. He could spend eternity just kissing these lips.

Rowan climbed off, then fell back on the love seat with a laugh, her legs trembling too much to stand. "Im just going to rest here for a moment."

Jax laughed and pulled her close again. He pulled off and tied the condom, placing it atop the wrapper on the side table. She snuggled in and lay her head on his chest, pulling the throw around them.

"Shit, I just had a sobering thought. All of my things are still at your parents' house in Bartlett. There's like three hours until I'm due at the airport. Do you think we can get there and back in time?" Worry etched her pretty brow and Jax smoothed the little V with his rough thumb.

"If we leave right now, I think we can make it."

* * * *

The thirty minute drive back to Bartlett was bathed in pre-dawn light, pink just tinging the edge of the horizon. Despite the beauty of the drive and the beauty of their most recent heart-baring revelations in the studio, a morose mood settled around them like a winter's fog on a back road.

He had to pull them out of this or the mood would follow her all the way home, spoiling her memories of their time together. It would be better to remember the sweetness, the joy, the lust-filled and loving moments that had them both love-crazed and panting over each other rather than this. That way she'd want to call, she'd want to come back and visit, come down to LA well before the tour which is something he desperately wanted her to do. He just didn't know how to ditch the funk except to hold her hand as often as he could the whole way.

They snuck in the quiet house, tip-toeing down the hall to his room and took turns in the bathroom. Jax splashed water on his face and washed up. He briefly contemplated taking a shower, but knew time was limited. Instead he brushed his teeth quickly and washed his hands. Just as he was drying off, he heard a tap at the door. He found a naked Rowan on the other side, hair loose and free over her glorious breasts.

"You are so going to miss your flight, baby, looking that way," he admonished with a shake of his head. Rowan smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Take a quick shower with me. I don't want to spend a moment apart from you, please?" Jax's heart cracked a little at the look on her face and he nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He turned on the shower and then quickly removed his clothes. As they waited for the water to warm up, Rowan stepped close, her breaths ragged as if she was attempting to suppress tears. She rasped her fingertips over his stubble, traced the line of his jaw, followed that line down his neck and across his collarbone, all the while her eyes wide, drinking him in. He ran his knuckles down the back of her outer arm, then her waist and hip.

"I...," she swallowed and looked up, her eyes luminous with tears. "I'm going to miss you, Jaxon. So much. I can't stop looking at you." Jaxon swallowed, then hooked her waist and brought them together. Their lips melded and time seemed to stop. The steam from the shower broke them apart long enough to step under the streaming water.

He washed her reverently, replacing her vanilla-rose scent with his sandalwood and bergamot. It was pleasing in some unconscious way to mark her even further with his scent just as he was about to let her go. She washed him too. It wasn't sexual, but very sensual, feeling her fingertips scrape the soap from his scalp, carve the suds from his muscular shoulders and back.

After, they dried each other just as carefully, silently. Taking the time to reach into each nook and cranny under the guise of hunting out even the most miniscule bead of water, but really to discover all the pieces they hadn't yet seen or touched.

"Thank you," Rowan murmured as Jax placed the wet towel on the drying rack. "I needed that," and so much more, her eyes finished for her. He squeezed her hand and led her back to the bedroom. The clock on his night stand read 4:42. He had about forty minutes before they needed to get back into the truck and take her to the airport. Just enough time, he thought, before he pulled her down to the bed.

He made love to her one last time, gently and slowly, moving on top of her, pushing into her body at an agonizing pace so that he could savor the moment, savor every expression and feeling flashing across her beautiful face. He brought her to one last orgasm with his insistent thrusts, his thrumming fingers, and hungry mouth, letting her pulsing waves draw forth his own powerful release.

"My God," he breathed against her lips, his heart in his throat, in his kiss.

"I know," she whispered back.

With no time for any further farewells, they dressed quickly and snuck out just the way they came in, the dawn bright in their resigned eyes. That resignation chased them from the house all through the quiet early morning streets of Bartlett.

He turned his truck toward Memphis and forced himself to disband this mood, determined to send her off with nothing but positive vibes. "Congratulations," he teased.

"Oh? On what, achieving the most consecutive orgasms ever in a very short period of time? That award belongs to you alone." Rowan giggled.

"No, but I'll proudly take that award, thank you," Jax laughed. "No, congratulations on surviving my family, that's not something many people can boast of."

"Oh nonsense, your family is lovely. I really like your mom, she's so sweet."

"Yeah, she's the best." He agreed. He reached over and laced his fingers with hers. She looked over at him and smiled sweetly, making his insides melt. He took a moment to drink in her smile before returning his eyes to the road, his heart sinking with every mile-eating turn of the truck's wheels. He felt a little proud for dispelling some of that sadness from her eyes. Too bad it didn't work for him.

They took the exit for the airport and Jax clenched his teeth, feeling an ache start in the middle of his back. He pulled his hand from hers to navigate the different inroads at the airport, searching for her terminal.

"Tell me what you're thinking, please," Rowan said softly. "Tell me what's got you all bunched up. Let me help you."

"And here I thought I was so good at hiding my feelings," he joked. The truth was he hadn't since the moment he met her and they both knew it.

"I know we said a lot of things tonight Jax, and it would be completely understandable if you're rethinking some of those things," she offered, expectation and acceptance heavy in her words.

He parked the truck at the very top of the loading and unloading zone in front of her terminal so they wouldn't be too disturbed by people pulling in and out, then checked his watch. They had some time before she absolutely had to go in and board, not much, but some. He turned toward her and was smacked once again by her absolute loveliness, wondering briefly if he'd ever stop being awed by her face, her eyes, her hair, and the open earnestness in her expression.

"What things do you imagine I'm rethinking?" he asked, heart hammering and ache intensifying. "If... if you've changed your mind about coming with me to the tour and potentially visit before January... I'd respect your decision. Might hurt, but I'd respect it."

Rowan suddenly burst into a laugh so full and rich it shook those beautiful breasts, drawing his eyes to her bouncing curves.

"I'm guessing that's not it," he said, his lips pulling up as well despite the weight still digging into his chest from his back.

"No, no... I'm sorry," she fanned her face which had pinked in mirth and touched the tip of one pinky to the corner of her eye. "I just... the absurdity of all of this just hit me is all. I realized I was dreading you telling me that this would be impossible after all, that we would be stupid to even try to turn it into something more, to chase those declarations in the studio and expand on these feelings and then it turns out you've been worried about it too, and..." she gasped, "and it's... hooo, okay," she took a deep breath and her giggles subsided.

"It's really not that funny when you think about it, but awkward and tense situations make me laugh, and I haven't really slept in three days... I'm feeling more than a little loopy at the moment. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I completely understand. We all have our little quirks, and as it turns out, I am craving each one of yours I get to see." He felt that weight start to lift and reached for her hand. She squeezed his in return.

"Thank you for that. This whole thing has been one huge emotional ride. I'll be honest that I've been setting myself up for something, for the drop off the cliff from all these lovely heights I've had with you. That little nagging voice in the back of my mind keeps insisting that this has been all too good to be true. That you're not really real, you're still this untouchable entity, a living fantasy that I've done nothing to earn or even deserve."

"Wow," Jax took and squeezed her hand. "That's a huge compliment, but I'm the undeserving one. You certainly were not what I was expecting either, Rowan, not at all. Everything that's already happened between us has been icing on the cake and I'm not accustomed to eating such delicious sweets," he smiled his most seductive smile and she blushed.

"Oh wow... you have such a way with words. I could listen to your honeyed voice speak like that to me all day."

"Good. Now that's done. We can stop worrying about whether one of us is going to want to back out of this, right? We've got three months until the tour starts," he gripped her chin, falling into those deep green eyes, "Rowan, I will see you before then. I will come find you or I will bring you to me. I won't let three months go by without kissing you again, without dancing with you, without singing to you, with you, and I will make sweet love to that fantastic body of yours again. You can be sure of that. The only thing I need from you is a 'yes.'"

"Oh yes, yes please," she drew in a shaky breath and closed the distance between them, kissing his lips with the hunger his words inspired. He let her scent wash over him, the antique vanilla and roses hidden beneath his sandalwood and burgamont, and then kissed her back. He tasted the sweetness of her breath with his tongue, pouring his admiration and lust for her into her mouth. He would see her again and soon, he just didn't know how yet.

She broke the kiss, panting, cheeks flushed. "Okay, it's time, Jax. I have to go. You probably shouldn't walk me in, you know. Just kiss me one more time and I'll go like a bandaid, quick and painful."

He laughed and did as she asked, kissing her lips hard one more time, then her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead, the soft skin behind her ear, and then her mouth again until she was breathless, squirming in her seat and his pants were so tight around his dick that it was becoming painful. She kissed him back, her kiss filling him with hope and longing until the hand on his chest pushed him back.

"Goodbye for now, Jax," she said, opening the door.

"No goodbye. I hate the finality of that. Just say 'I'll see you soon.'

"Ok, see you soon,"

"Call me when you get home, ok? Please? I don't care about what time it is for me. Call me."

She smiled that sweet lovely smile he was starting to crave and nodded before she opened the back passenger door and pulled her luggage down. She shut the door and then returned to the open front passenger door.

"I'll call. Be safe in your travels too, Jax, and call or text me whenever. I'll reply when I can, ok?"

It was his turn to nod because he couldn't speak underneath that damn weight in his chest. She shut the door and he watched as she walked all the way into the terminal and disappeared from view.

Jax stewed all the way to the highway, as he drove away from the airport, angry with himself and the world. He'd just declared his love for someone who was bright and whole and wonderful and so worthy of that declaration, but he was forced to leave her in the fucking drop-off zone like she meant nothing to him because of who he was. She was right to ask him to leave her at the curb. It would be so much harder for her if he had walked her into a busy airport and then waited with her before boarding. He was angry that he couldn't back up that declaration with action, and as everyone knew, actions speak so much louder and longer than words ever could.

He was angry, too, at "the schedule" looming before him, angry that despite the fact that he was essentially the CEO of his own little corporation, he had no real power over that schedule unless he wanted to disappoint not only all the people who worked for him, but half the world who were waiting to come watch him, not to mention he'd get his ass sued by at least a dozen people for violating multiple contracts. He never felt the weight of his celebrity more so than he did right now, driving away from the one person he wanted more than anything in the world.

Well, he thought, was he Jaxon fucking Trenwell or was he not?

Keeping his eyes on the road, he tapped the speed dial for Rachel's phone, not caring it was much too early to call. For the next twenty minutes of the drive to Bartlett, he and Rachel worked out a new schedule. One with much less publicity dates and between show revisions/practices, but which still complied with all the legal requirements and kept people employed. She was a little stunned, at first, at his reduction in his work schedule, but caved to the steel-edge in his voice and didn't question or push his need for a new schedule. By the end of their conversation, Jax had carved out three-day weekends out of each of the next three months leading up to the tour, something that was extremely generous and unheard of in all of his previous tour experience.

He looked at the clock on the dash. Rowan's plane would still be on the ground meaning her phone would still be on. He smiled as he heard her voice, that little breathy "Hi" which started this whole thing.

"Hi, Jax! Is everything ok? I wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon. The plane hasn't even left the ground."

"Oh, baby, my sweet love, everything is so much more than ok, or it will be once you answer one little question for me."

"Oh? And what's that?" He could hear her smile through the phone and was unable to keep from smiling himself.

"What are you doing next weekend?"

************

Post Script: Author's Note

Thank you, dear reader, for taking this journey with me. There is potential to continue this story which may or may not happen depending on how the muse is feeling as well as how much demand there might be for its continuation. If you liked what you read, let me know! Positive feedback lets me know this story is worth continuing. Thank you, and happy reading :).