My Visit to a Tantric Therapist

I am 31 years old, and I have always struggled with intimacy. It all stems from an event when I was 19, where I was sexually assaulted by a classmate during my first year of college. Ever since then, I had associated sex with pain, something that I, as a woman, must do for my male partners but never could enjoy myself. Years of therapy had helped me to stop getting nightmares, to trust others again, and to not be silenced by this violation, but it hadn't helped me in the bedroom. Partners who I loved deeply left me because I was so resistant to intimacy and our sexual lives were nonexistant.

After my last boyfriend- the man I thought that I'd marry- left me, I decided to tackle this trauma. I had read an article online about Rich Johnson, who was a tantric therapist in LA, who could help me work past my fear of sex. Yes; tantric sex therapy was unorthodox, but I was desperate. So I emailed him one evening after several glasses of wine, and I told him my history and what I hoped to get, and by the next morning when I had woken up, he had already responded:

Dear Ms. Rose,

Thank you so much for reaching out. I am so sorry you experienced trauma like that, it is an experience that no one should ever have. The fact that it has led you unable to enjoy the fruits of your body and sexuality is a tragedy. While it is always an unfortunate event, I have had many clients with experiences such as yours. I am available and would absolutely love to help. Let's get into details.

First, the therapy occurrs usually over 5 sessions taking anywhere from 2-6 hours each. The first few sessions tend to be on the shorter side, the later sessions on the longer side. Sometimes my clients need or desire more than 5 sessions. We shall cross that bridge when we get to it. The first session you will arrive to a warm, candlelit, lavender-scented bath, where you will be washed and cleansed. You will then be given a deep massage. This massage will be to warm your skin up, to relax you, and to feel comfortable with a man touching your body. This first session will be focused on external comfort and stimulation. The second session will look largely the same as the first, but gradually will bring in internal stimulation using toys. By the third sessions, you will feel comfortable with toys inside you. We will evaluate at the third sessions to see what direction the fourth and fifth sessions take.

I charge $5,000 per session, with a 100% money-back guarantee if you are not satisfied with your therapy. Please let me know when you'd like to book.

Sincerely,

Rich

$25 thousand was a lot of money, to be sure. But I was a corporate lawyer making a good salary, and I was lonely beyong belief. I needed this, in order to take back my body again.

I emailed him back.

"When can I begin?".

Through email, we set up day, time, and payment. I paid the deposit, and anticipated the first session.

When it finally arrived, I was nervous. I had never had a massage like this before, and I was not the most open with sex, either. But I took a warm shower, spending time running my hands over my toned body, caressing each curve, lathering my skin. I shaved, applied lotion, and clothed myself in comfortable clothes, and drove over to the therapist.

Rich Johnson opened the door to a stately house upon arrival. He was older, in his upper 50s maybe, but had kept up his looks. Through his shirt, I could tell he was toned, and he had a healthy tan from being outdoors. He had salt and pepper hair, and he wore it well. He was wearing linen clothes that highlighted his tan and physique.

He welcomed me warmly, and invited me to take a seat in the main reception area. The space was luxurious, and melted into nature. The massive home was cement and glass, which allowed plenty if natural sunlight in. He had a fountain in the back of the room, and many plants.

"For right now, we will have an introductory chat. Tantra takes trust and care, and you need to be comfortable with me before we begin this therapy," he said.

Over the next two hours we talked about everything, from our hobbies to professional goals. I opened uo to him about my assault in ways I never had before.

He rose up from the sofa he was sitting on. "Are you ready to begin?" he said, extending his hands in invitation. I was nervous, but I felt more at ease than I had this morning.

He led me to a large bathroom, except there was no toilet there, rather a large, exquisite tub. It was surrounded by candles and vases of eucalyptus, and the bath was steaming. It smelled divine and looked like something out of a dream.

"The first part of this therapy is a bathing ritual. Please, undress" I was nervous at undressing for a man who was basically a stranger. But I knew that in order to heal, I had to push myself out of my comfort zone.

While he watched, I anxiously took my clothes off. He eyed me, not in a leering way, but rather one of admiration. I know I look good- I workout a lot and am toned. Still, when be said that I was "exquisitely beautiful, and deserve to feel worshipped", it felt amazing, and I began to feel warm between my legs.

He helped me into the large tub, and encouraged me to sit down, relax, and close my eyes. After a half hour submerged in the warm, lavender scented water, I began to feel calmer than I had ever felt.

"I am going to bathe you now," I heard him say. It didn't even register what he meant, I was so tranquil.

I felt hands on my arms, running up and down, massaging me. After some time, those hands moved to my shoulders before moving to my breasts. I felt so peaceful, I wasn't uncomfortable at all with this man who was almost 30 years my senior massaging my breasts. The water ran over me and swirled around my body, he was gentle as to not splash me.

I dont't know how long the bath lasted, but am some point the hands ran down my arms to my hands, helping me up and out of the ornate tub and into a giant towel. He led me to a different room, this one dark, with a massage table and various massage instruments next to it. The room smelled of eucalyptus and linen, and I lay down on the comfortable, soft table. Candles were lit, and I heard Rich say "let's begin your massage now".

We started with me on my stomach, him carefully working my shoulders, my back, my arms, my legs. After some time of the massage, I felt his hands begin to go up my inner legs to my inner thigh.

I tensed a bit. Sensing that, he stopped and said "tantric therapy is unlike other kinds. To work past trauma, I need to release the tension from those trauma spots. But, of course, if you are not comfortable we can stop here and I will glady refund you for this session". He was so genuine, sincere and patient about this, and I desperately wanted to heal, so I trepidaciously agreed. He took a break from that area and had me turn over. He then massaged my arm, and kneaded my breasts with his hands. He wasn't just massaging, he moved his hands to my nipples, dripping warm oil on them, playing with my large, 34DD breasts.

To be honest, I was beginning to feel more excited. He moved down to my legs, feet and toes before moving ho to my inner thigh. He massaged this area, before moving to my vulva, using the perfect amount of pressure. He worked his fingers into the folds, moving his fingers in circles, before entering me. One finger at a time, oh so slowly.

He entered me with squirt sound: I was so wet for his fingers- I wouldn't have needed oil. Yet he still dripped warm oil onto my clitoris directly, one hand massaging it while the other fingers entered me, widening my pussy out. After a while, the one finger inside me became two, to three. His thumb circled my clitoris. My relaxed state became one of orgasm, my back arching, my pussy dripping for more.

His other hand was on my belly, feeling the orgasm, feeling his hand inside of me. Then, as slow as it began, one by the one the fingers left that area, and he placed warm stones on my body for awhile.

I must have fallen asleep, because I heard a gong sound and woke up. Rich gave me my clothes, and told me that our first session was over. When would I like to book the next one?