Chapter Four - Our Anniversary

*Anna*

There were some evenings on which Frank and I forgot that we had work the next morning.

It was one of those cases.

It was the anniversary of the day on which we had first met though we both couldn't agree on what should exactly be the anniversary. I maintained that it was the day on which we had actually gone out together while Frank argued that it was the day on which we had first spoken properly.

We had been arguing over it for years.

"I was flirting with you," I said as I was setting the table.

"I was being friendly."

You asked me whether I was single.

It was a sensible question.

"You knew I was."

"I suspected."

"You were flirting."

He smiled, the soft light of evening touching the line of his bare shoulder.

"Maybe."

I stuck my fork at him.

"Exactly."

We had decided to celebrate at home rather than go out.

The temperature was warm, the back door had been left open and the little garden looked very pleasant in the golden light. I had put a few candles on the old wooden table, Frank had purchased a bottle of wine which cost more than the amount that usually spent and I had taken much too long to decide what to cook.

It was nothing but a waste of effort.

We might have had sandwiches and still would have enjoyed ourselves.

A thing about living in the area was that nudity was not considered formal and so as the evening grew warmer we just sat outside in our naked state our skin shining in the decreasing light as the air moved gently over us. The only worries I had were that the food would go cold and that Frank would have too much wine.

He did.

Of course he did.

After dinner we went into the town to get some coffee even though we were a bit drunk from the wine and the heat of the kitchen. The streets were quiet but not deserted and a number of familiar faces were sitting outside the small pub by the square.

Margaret and Colin had resided two streets away from us for a longer period than either of us had been alive and Margaret, being in her seventies, had the ability to make Frank blush with just one carefully selected comment on something she had observed of him.

There was also Daniel from the bakery who was aware of all people's affairs even though he never seemed to be spreading gossip.

I also had Sarah, one of my best friends, sitting by the fountain with her partner.

Sarah waved, eyes bright.

"Anniversary?"

"Apparently," I said.

He put his arm around me, his palm warm beside the small of my back and his fingers just above the curve of my bottom.

"Apparently."

Sarah smiled.

"How many years?"

"Six."

"Six already?"

I turned my head to look at Frank feeling the steady heat of his body against my side.

What this means is that you end up putting up with that person for too long.

Frank replied, "That's what she says," but she still keeps on coming back.

Sarah laughed.

That was our community.

People would always notice whether we were happy, whether we were arguing, if one of us had changed jobs or if the other had purchased some rather silly piece of furniture. They also knew when it was suitable to leave us alone. Even though the place was small it never create the impression of being cramped.

We didn't go home until later having become a bit drunk and laughing about something that neither of us could remember when we reached the front door.

I recall kissing him in the hallway our kiss slow and involved both of us opening our mouths and he still had the taste of wine on his tongue. I remember him laughing up against my mouth the vibrations of the laughter going through both of us and at that moment I was thinking that after six years I still wanted him in the same low, steady way.

That part hadn't changed.

We went upstairs.

The rest of the evening was ours.

I remember the way he undressed me even though I was already naked hands sliding slowly down my sides as if rediscovering the shape of me. The way he kissed the soft undersides of my small breasts, the place just above my hipbone, the inside of my thigh until I was open and aching for him. The particular weight of his body settling over mine. The slow deep push of his cock into me, the way we both exhaled at the same moment. The long unhurried rhythm we fell into, the quiet sounds we made, the way his eyes stayed on mine when I came the first time and then again, harder, when he followed me over the edge with a low groan against my neck.

We remained together in the dark afterwards and both of us felt pleasantly tired our skin still damp with the sheets having become mixed up around our legs.

Frank had his hand on my waist running his thumb casually over the soft skin in that area.

We were both silent for a moment.

Then he said, voice low and slightly rough:

That was a pretty good anniversary.

I laughed softly.

"Very romantic."

"I try."

"You don't."

"I did tonight."

"Fair."

He kissed my shoulder and his lips were warm remaining there.

I stepped closer until my entire body was in contact with his and moved one leg over his thigh I could still feel the weak pulse of his against me and it was now soft and familiar.

We were quiet again.

Our conversation then very quickly came back to the subject which we had first raised weeks earlier.

Our fantasies.

Things which we had admitted existed even if we had not decided what they meant.

"Well," Frank said, "I've given the matter some more thought."

I immediately realized what he was talking about.

What is it to be in the company of a man?

"Yes."

I turned to get a look at him in the dim light and his expression was open, slightly vulnerable and completely honest.

Actually, would you?

"I don't know."

That's a very useful answer.

He laughed, the sound being gentle on my hair.

I really am. I am interested but being interested doesn't mean that one wants to carry out an action.

"True."

For a moment he thought at the same time as he was moving his fingers in slow patterns along my waist.

I think that part of me would like to find out.

"Know what?"

"What it feels like."

I nodded.

One was surprised by the tenderness in its honesty.

He wasn't exposing a secret identity nor was he informing me that he had secretly desired these things for years; instead he was simply curious just as quietly as the way he would at times look at me when we were already deep in the act as if a door had briefly opened in his mind.

I understood that.

The question he put to me was the one I had been looking for.

"And you?"

I stopped for a moment while the words settled in my chest before I spoke them.

I was thinking about you even though I was with somebody else.

"Still?"

"Yes."

"Man or woman?"

I smiled.

"Why choose?"

He laughed, a laugh that was low and warm.

"I suppose you don't."

I don't know; it's not really concerned with them.

"What is it about?"

I thought about that having my hand over his heart.

"You."

"Me?"

The fact that someone else desired you and the way you might appear the way you might react...

He kept quiet for a moment.

Doesn't that make you feel jealous?

"Probably eventually."

"That's reassuring."

I used my knee to give him a light push.

"I'm serious."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I know that too."

Maybe that is the reason why the idea doesn't frighten me.

He looked at me with gentle and steady eyes in the dark.

Since you know that I would still be yours?

I smiled.

"Exactly."

For a while we said nothing; the only sound was our breathing and the quiet night air moving through the open window.

Then I laughed.

"What?"

"I've just realised something."

"What?"

We are currently having a very serious talk regarding our sex life the discussion having taken place after we had sex while lying naked in bed.

After thinking about it he held me more tightly so that all the soft, warm parts of me were in contact with all the soft, warm parts of him.

"Seems appropriate."

"Does it?"

"Definitely."

I laughed again, this time in a more quiet manner and placed my forehead against his.

There were times when we possessed a wonderfully simple quality.

In a different kind of relationship we might have expressed ourselves in a way that would have frightened us we might have admitted that we were curious we might have admitted that we felt attraction and we could even have acknowledged that the idea of someone else entering our private world wasn't something that always horrified us.

All that notwithstanding our relationship stayed.

In fact by bringing it up I felt more secure more certain about the real, living thing that we had created together over those six years of ordinary days and extraordinary nights.

Frank kissed me again. He took his time and the kiss was deep.

"Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary."

That night our fantasies were exactly the same as they had been.

Fantasies.

We had no at all any idea about whether or not we would one day want them to change into something else.