P.I. Chronicles, Case 3

My loving wife Nora asked, "Do you think it'd be OK if I went with them?"

I asked, "Went where? With whom?"

"On the trip Anna and Sara are taking."

Confused, I had to think about what trip and then realized what Nora was talking about: "The trip they're taking? You mean their honeymoon?" Anna and Sara are getting married in about two months and then honeymooning in Hawaii.

"Well, it would be more of a girls' trip than a honeymoon. The three of us together would be much more fun."

"When you started helping Anna and Sara with the wedding you got a book, what was it called? 'Lesbian Weddings for Dummies'? Did it say that lesbian honeymooners want a third woman with them? Is that a difference with other honeymoons?"

"It wasn't for dummies. It was just a book on lesbian weddings. The main point of the book was that lesbian weddings are just like every other wedding except it's two women. And like all weddings, it's planned by the loving couple and it's the wedding they want. Honestly, the book was a waste of money. But if this is what they want, a more fun time as a girl's vacation, then that's what they'll get. I'm not going to say no."

"Why on earth would you want to go on someone else's honeymoon?"

"I think I've finally realized I'm gay. I'm really attracted to Sara, she's gorgeous, and being with her, and with Anna, for two weeks is something I really need to explore. Don't you think Sara is gorgeous?"

I thought, 'Sara may be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen walking around, movie star beautiful, but I'm certainly not going to tell Nora that. I said, "I haven't noticed Sara's looks. You know I only have eyes for you. But you've discovered that you're gay so you're done with men?"

"Well, I'm not about to give you or your..... equipment up so I guess I'm Bi."

"And while you're off exploring the other side of your ...... Bi, I'll be getting a divorce."

"Oh please, It's just with women for Christ sakes; I wouldn't be cheating. It'd be like getting a massage from a woman; you wouldn't object if I did that. This is just the three of us giving massages to each other. Maybe at the same time. No big deal."

"You think lesbians just massage each other?"

"I know there's more involved. I mean, I've watched enough lesbian porn to know more .... parts are massaged and .... explored. It'd be more like an erotic massage but that's still just a massage. And there'd be toys too so you really don't even touch each other. At least not directly.... when you're using toys."

"So you want to go with Anna and Sara on their honeymoon to explore your gayness."

"Exactly. Then after two weeks, I'd be back in your loving arms. And occasionally back in Sara's and Anna's arms, hopefully."

"What about a threeway?"

"Well, that's the plan: Anna, Sara and me."

"No, I mean you, me and another woman. That way you can explore your gayness while I explore my straightness with both you and her."

Nora starred at me like I'd just arrived from Andromeda, "That's never going to happen. If you're ever with another woman..... snip, snip, snip. There go your balls."

"If I'd known you wanted to go on their honeymoon, I'd have asked Anna and Sara if I could bring you as my plus one. But it's probably too late for that now."

"What are you talking about?"

"The honeymoon is in a couple of months. I think it's probably too late to add you."

"No, you said, 'plus one'. What does that mean?"

"Oh, Anna and Sara invited me to go with them. I was waiting to tell you but I'm going with them on their honeymoon."

Nora stared at me as if I'd just arrived from an even more distant galaxy, then said, "Oh, bullshit. You're lying." I smiled and shook my head no. "Why would they want you?"

I replied, "I don't know. You'll have to ask them. But I'm definitely going."

"Yeah, sure. I'm going to ask if I can go. I need to explore these feelings." Nora got up. End of discussion.

I texted Anna: "Prank on Nora. Next time you come in, mention that I'm going on the honeymoon with you and Sara. Maybe say something about airplane tickets or that we'll all be staying in the same room. I'll explain later."

Anna: "OK, but this better be good."

"It will be."

After a few minutes, Anna texted: "How dangerous will this be? Should I bring a gun?"

I texted: "No, we won't let it get too far." Then I thought about it some more and texted: "Yeah, it might not be a bad idea to have a gun handy. Just don't shoot anyone unless you have to."

My afternoon appointment arrived promptly at 1:30. Mr. Anthony Hass, "call me Tony," was in his early twenties. Mrs. Hass, who introduced herself by saying, "I'm Mrs. Hass," was well into her forties. He was in jeans and a t-shirt; she was dressed and made up like she was going to dinner at an upscale restaurant with snooty girlfriends. Pearl necklace and everything. Turns out they were mother and son. I asked, "How can we help you?"

Tony responded, "My wife, Peggy, is missing."

I said, "Tell me what happened."

Tony continued, "Peggy and I married just out of high school."

Mrs. Hass interrupted, "They got married because she got pregnant. As soon as they got married, she had a miscarriage. She gets him to marry her because she's going to have a baby and didn't even have the baby."

"Mother, let me tell this. For our three year wedding anniversary, which was ten days ago, I bought tickets to see her favorite band, A**, at the arena. I got terrific seats in the second row. They're not my thing but Peggy was really excited. We're seated and waiting for the band to come out when this guy comes up to us and says, 'My name is Luke. I'm the tour manager for A**.' He showed us his credentials hanging from around his neck and said, 'For each show, we ask a few people from the audience to come and watch the last few songs from the wings and then attend a short afterparty, meet the bandmembers and answer a few questions about the show. Since this is their first stop on this tour and they're doing new material, it's especially important to see what the audience thinks.' He paused and said, 'Are either of you big A** fans and familiar with their music?' I told him I like them but I'm not a diehard fan but that Peggy is. He looked at Peggy and asked, 'Is that true?' Peggy said, 'Huge fan. They're my favorite band.'

"Luke said, 'If it's OK, I'll come back for you toward the end of the concert. You can watch the end from up there,' he nodded toward the stage, 'and then come meet the band and answer some questions. Maybe forty-five minutes or an hour of your time at most.'

"I asked, 'Both of us?' He replied, 'No, just her. She's the big fan and we have only so much room. After the show is over you can meet her at your car. It won't be very long. If that's OK?' Peggy was very excited, jumping up and down in her seat, and asked, 'I'll meet the bandmembers, including Tommy?'

"Luke laughed, 'Everyone wants to meet Tommy. Yes, Tommy and the others. So you'll be willing to do us this favor?' Peggy yelled, 'Yes!' Luke asked for her name, wrote it down and left. Peggy was so excited I'm not sure she heard much of the concert. I had mixed feelings. This would certainly make our anniversary memorable for Peggy but I've heard about bands and groupies. I decided nothing much would happen in the less than an hour she'd be with the band.

"At a break toward the end of the show, Luke came back for Peggy. He had four other women in toe. Only women, all young and pretty. Peggy jumped up, kissed me on the cheek and followed Luke and the others. From where I was seated, I could see Peggy jumping up and down, dancing, just off the stage as the band finished their last songs. Then the concert was over and Peggy and the others followed the band and Luke off the stage. I went to wait at the car.

"And I waited and waited. After an hour, I called Peggy's cell. A guy answered, lots of noise in the background, and I asked for Peggy. He asked who I was and I said her husband. He said that she's with the band; she'll be home when they're finished with her and hung up. I tried again but her cell was turned off. After two hours of waiting I decided to go find Peggy. The arena doors were locked. I found a security guard who told me everyone's gone. I walked around to the arena's service entrance figuring people would still be working there and that's where the band would be. I explained to a different security guard that I was trying to find my wife who's with the band. He told me the band left a while ago. I asked where the band was staying but he didn't know and there was no one else around but cleanup people. But there was a second show the following night.

"The next night's concert was sold out so I couldn't get in. I couldn't even find a scalper with a ticket I could buy. The security guard from the previous night told me that the band's bus pulled into the service entrance under the arena and that's where the band got on and off the bus. They arrive an hour or two before the concert. They wouldn't let me in the arena where the bus unloaded but I could watch the bus drive down the ramp into the arena. Lots of fans wait for the tour bus to arrive.

"So the next night I waited at the ramp for the bus with a bunch of screaming fans. The bus arrived but the windows were tinted and I couldn't see anything inside. They open an overhead door for the bus to pull in and I watched hoping to see Peggy get off but the bus turned a corner inside and disappeared.

"I haven't heard from Peggy since the concert. Her phone is off and her voice mail is full from me leaving messages. I don't know what happened to her. The police are no help, they say she's an adult and there's no evidence of foul play, and I called the band's management company who told me they don't know any Peggy Hass and neither does anyone in the band.

"So we came to you for help. I understand you find missing persons?"

I told him we do and gave him and his mother our fee schedule. Mrs. Hass said, "We'll pay what you want. We need to know where Peggy is. If she's been behaving..... inappropriately with these musicians or whomever she's with, we need to know that too. And we need proof. As soon as you can."

I said, "So where she is and what she's been doing?"

Mrs. Hass said, "Exactly."

I asked for pictures of Peggy and information about her which they provided. Mrs. Hass gave us a retainer check and they left. I called out to Nora, "Did you hear?"

"Yeah, she's fucking the band."

I got up and went to Nora's desk, "What's Bud up to?" Bud is one of our two full-time employees. He specializes in missing person cases and skip traces.

Nora said, "Finished with Marcum so he's available."

"OK, call him and ask him to come in. I want him to start on this today. Here are pictures of Peggy Hass. He'll need good copies of them."

Bud arrived about an hour later. I gave him a rundown of what Mr. and Mrs. Hass were looking for. He said to give him a few days; this wouldn't be difficult.

As Bud was collecting the pictures of Peggy Hass from Nora, Anna came in to the office. She said hello to everyone and then said to me, "Your ticket was confirmed. The three of us will be sitting in first class on the plane together."

I asked, "Were you able to get the suite with two bedrooms?"

"No, unfortunately they had none left. But the room we'll be in is huge with a massive king bed. You won't even notice Sara and I sleeping next to you. The room also as a big shower that the three of us should be able to fit in nicely."

Nora stood up, hands balled and at her waist, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Anna said, all innocence, "Nick is coming to Hawaii with us. You didn't know that?"

Nora turned to me, "When were you going to tell me about this?"

"I did. You didn't believe me."

Nora, now furious, asked Anna, "Why the fuck do you want my husband with you on your honeymoon?"

"Well, Sara's Bi and if she gets itchy for dick, I don't want her bringing back some jerkoff she met on the beach. Nick we know and Sara wants to get to know him better."

Then Bud said, "Why didn't you ask me? I'd love to go to Hawaii with two beautiful women."

Anna said, "You're happily married with two children so it wasn't appropriate to ask you."

Nora, now so angry she was sputtering, said, "And Nick and I aren't happily married?"

"He's going to Hawaii with Sara and me. How happily married is he if he's going on a trip with two women neither of whom is his wife?"

I said, "Nora would like to come with us. Is there time to get her a ticket?"

"I don't know; it's a little late. Maybe we can get something in coach. I guess we can ask for a cot or something to put in the room for her to sleep on. Nora, why would a straight woman want to go on a trip with two lesbians?"

I said, "Why don't you explain to Anna about your need to do some exploring."

"I don't need to do anything and neither does my husband. If you think you're taking my husband to fuck Sara and sleep in your bed and shower with you, you've got another think coming. You're fired. You can pick up your check on Friday. We certainly aren't coming to your fucking wedding." Then to me, "Get in your office. Now."

Nora followed me into my office and slammed the door: "You're a dead man."

"It's OK for you to go off and fuck Anna and Sara but it's not OK for me? Sort of hypocritical, don't you think?"

"I explained that. It's just women together and not really cheating. You'd be cheating. I don't want to go anyway and neither do you. We're staying home and neither of us are going to see Anna or Sara ever again."

I asked, "What about your lust for Sara? I thought you needed to explore that."

"I don't care about Sara or Anna or anyone else: I only care about you. I must have told you that a million times over the years. But you never fucking listen to me."

"And I only care about you."

"But you're going to Hawaii with them?"

"It was a prank Anna and I played on you. I was never going to Hawaii."

"A prank?"

"Here, look at my texts with Anna. Where we talked about setting you up." I showed Nora the texts.

"You asshole."

"But good in bed." I took Nora in my arms and kissed her. After a bit, she shook me off, still angry.

I heard Anna, in the outer office, say to Bud, "I bet they're kissing. Sex any second."

Bud said, "I haven't gotten over the trauma from the last time I saw them have sex. I can't take more trauma; I'm leaving." I heard the outer office door open and close.

Anna yelled, "Hey, I'm waiting to find out if I'm fired or not. Also need to know if you two are still going to give me away at the wedding." Anna's parents are dead, she's not talking to her father's relatives, and she has no close relatives on her mother's side so Nora and I are walking her down the aisle.

Nora opened the door and Anna asked, "Forgive me?"

Nora, still angry, said, "Jerk, how could you do that to me?"

"Nora, you're like a moth...... an older sister to me. I'd never hurt you. It was just a joke but a bad one. Please forgive me."

They hugged and Nora said, "Forgiven, just don't do it again. Come in. Let's talk about your relatives."

Anna, Nora and I sat around my desk. I said, "I heard from my friend Jack this morning. Yuri and your uncle will be in jail until their trial but the guy who tried to grab Nora and me and his three buddies all made bail and were released."

Anna said, "Sergei is out?"

"Yup, along with the other three. There's no reason for Yuri or your uncle to harm any of us. We don't know anything and won't be testifying at their trial. But you embarrassed Sergei. Is he going to be a problem for you? Or for Nora and me?"

"I don't know. I'm Ivan's niece and Yuri's sister and that may offer me some protection. Sergei would have to get permission to come after me. But I was involved in the surveillance of Silver who's testifying against them, all three of us were, and none of us told Yuri that Silver was talking to the feds. So it's possible that my relatives would set him loose on us as some sort of revenge.

"But my Uncle Ivan and Yuri have enough problems without us. Sergei may come after me because I embarrassed him. He'd still have to get permission but my relatives may be so mad at me that they'd give him the go ahead. I think we should all start carrying. All the time. I've got my pistol." She opened her pocketbook and pulled out her gun.

I said, "I thought you brought that to shoot Nora if she didn't let me go to Hawaii with you."

"Well, she's letting you go, right?"

Nora said, "No, I'm not."

Anna asked me, "So do I shoot her now?"

"I guess."

Nora asked, "Where's my gun? You two are way past your shelf lives."

I said, "I agree. With Anna, not with you, Nora." I went to the safe and got out my.45 and Nora's.38. "Let's be careful. And please don't shoot Anna or me."

Nora asked, "Should we tell Bud?"

"Bud will be off following the band. He'll be out of town and he wasn't really involved with any of that. When he returns from being a groupie, we'll let him know to be careful too."

Anna asked, "What's that about?"

Nora said, "New case. Mr. Hass can't find his wife because she's performing for the band."

"We don't know that."

"Let's bet. If you're right, you can go to Hawaii with Anna and Sara. If I'm right, I go with them."

Anna said, "Neither of you are going on my honeymoon. Are you both fucking nuts? If I see either of you in Hawaii, I'll start shooting. No jury will convict me."

Nora said, "Jeeze, that was very unfriendly."

Anna said, "Unfriendly? Show up on our honeymoon and you'll see unfriendly. Unless you have something for me, I'm out of here."

Nora said, "We're supposed to see the dress fitter tomorrow. Do you still want me to come?"

"Don't be silly. Of course I want you to come, Sara and I can't do this wedding without you."

I said, "We have a new client coming in tomorrow morning. It's a husband infidelity. We'll need you for that."

"OK, let me know. I'll lock the outer office door when I leave since you're obviously going to have sex as soon as I'm gone. Don't break anything. See you guys."

Anna was shot that night.

Nora and I were grocery shopping when Nora got a call from Sara. Nora put it on speaker and asked, "Hi honey, what's up?"

"Anna's been shot. We're at the emergency room."

I asked, "How bad? What hospital?"

"They're working on her now. There was a lot of blood."

"What hospital?" Sara told us the hospital. "We're on our way."

We arrived at the emergency room and asked for Anna Petrov. They wouldn't let us back, not relatives, so we waited to slip into the back when the receptionist was busy and the security guard was dealing with a drunk. We found Anna and Sara in bed whispering to each other and giggling. Nora asked, "Are we interrupting?"

Sara jumped out of bed, her clothes were full of blood, and sort of hugged Nora and me. Not a real hug, not wanting to get blood on us. Sara is maybe twenty-five or six, 5'8", thin, a blonde with big green eyes and a body that any Hollywood starlet would kill for. I asked, "What happened?"

Sara said, "We were walking home from dinner. Anna pushed me into a doorway and there were two shots. One missed us but, since her arm was up pushing me, the other grazed the left side of her chest. The shot bounced off a rib, we're waiting for the x-rays to come back to see the damage to the rib, and the side of her chest needed stitches. Nothing all that serious but her rib hurts when she breathes so they gave her pain medication. I don't know what they gave her but she's pretty goofy."

"Who was it?"

"Anna says it was Sergei but she didn't see him. I did and I'll look at mug shots to make sure. He was sitting in a car waiting for us. When we passed his car, Anna must have sensed something and pushed me into a doorway with her body. Saved both of our lives."

Anna said, "Spidey sense. And I love pushing Sara with my body."

Sara said, "Ignore anything she says."

"Where's Sergei now?"

Sara answered, "Anna collapsed and I got her on the ground safely. By that time, Sergei was back in his car driving away. I had my gun out but there were too many people around to be shooting at a moving vehicle. I got a good look at his face. I called 911."

Anna said, "If I was turned a little bit more toward good ol' Sergei, his bullet would have pierced my left nipple. Always wanted pierced nipples. Both Sara's nipples are pierced. Beautiful nipples with little gold loops."

Sara said, "No, my nipples aren't pierced. Anna stop it."

"Her clit too."

"No, nothing's pierced. Except my earlobes"

Anna said, "Prove it. Show them your boobs."

"I'm not showing anyone my boobs." Honestly, I wouldn't mind closely examining Sara's boobs but I didn't think it was appropriate to ask to see them. Sara continued, "They either gave her too many drugs or not enough. Maybe I'll just knock her out."

Anna said, "You can't knock me up. You're a woman."

Sara said, "Jesus. Anyway, they're keeping her overnight. I'll stay with her tonight but I'd like to get out of these bloody clothes. Anna needs clothes too."

Anna threw off the sheet covering her lower body. She was in a hospital gown which had ridden up to her waist. No panties. She said, "I'm wearing this home. It's real comfortable."

Sara pulled the sheet back over her and said, "Behave yourself. You're staying here tonight and you're certainly not going anywhere with your butt hanging out."

"Killjoy. Get back in bed with me."

"Anna, we have guests."

"They can get into bed too."

Nora said, "We'll pick up clothes for both of you. Write down what you want and we'll get them."

Anna continued, "You know Sara has the prettiest pussy. Tastes like wild onions. Never tasted another like it."

Sara said, "I'm going to find a pillow and smother Anna with it."

I asked, "Police been here?"

"They were at the scene and here. I told them what I know, which wasn't much, and they left. They asked if I wanted them to leave a cop as a guard but I said no. They want to see me tomorrow for a statement and to look at mug shots. They'll want a statement from Anna when she's better. My guess, they won't do anything. Sergei's with the Petrov's and they're either on the payroll or afraid to go after a Petrov soldier. Or both. They'll look and look but in all the wrong places."

I said, "We'll find him."

Sara looked me in the eye and said, "No, I'll find him."

"We can help."

"I won't need help."

Nora said, "We'll go get clothes for you both. Back in an hour."

Sara gave us a key to their place and we left to pick up clothes. When we got in the car, Nora said, "Think her nipples and clit are really pierced?"

"If you go to Hawaii with them on their honeymoon, you'll find out."

"They don't want me on their honeymoon. They're supposed to try on wedding gowns tomorrow. At least I could have found out about piercings then but I guess the fittings aren't going to happen tomorrow."

"You'll just have to look another day."

"Don't you want to know?"

I'd really have liked to take a look at Sara's boobs but I honestly didn't care if they're pierced or not. I said, "Of course not. I'm only interested in your boobs."

By the time we returned, Anna was in a hospital room. We went up to find Anna and Sara in bed together. Anna was asleep and Sara held her index finger to her lips shushing us while carefully getting out of bed. Sara had traded her bloody clothes for a hospital gown. She went into the bathroom to put on the clothes we brought. Unfortunately, her butt wasn't hanging out of the hospital gown. Then the three of us left the room. I asked, "Any change?"

"Cracked rib. She's finally asleep. She'll be OK. The doctor was in and they'll release her in the morning. Then I start hunting."

"We can help. That's what we do."

"Thanks but no. I want to do this myself."

Nora asked, "Do you need us for anything else? Will Anna need watching? I can help with that if you need a break."

"Thanks. The rib pain will be bad for a while but she won't need watching full time. I'm going to take tomorrow off work just in case but she'll be fine."

Nora said, "If you need anything, call us. Anytime."

Sara, now in clean clothes, gave us each a real hug. I couldn't tell if she had nipple rings. Maybe Nora, who finds out about people's anatomies by hugging them, would be able to tell. Theirs was a long hug.

Nora and I got in the car. I asked, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Nipple rings?"

"I thought you were only interested in my boobs."

"So you weren't able to tell?"

"Couldn't tell if they're pierced but no nipple hardware."

"Clit?"

"For someone who's not interested you seem pretty interested. Clit would have to be massive for me to tell by hugging. Maybe now that Anna's laid up Sara could use some comforting. I could find out that way."

"Or I could. Didn't Anna say that Sara was Bi?"

"You ain't finding out shit. And she's not Bi. Just shut up and drive. I guess I'll have to reschedule the dress fittings." Nora sighed.

"Where's Bud?"

"Following the band. They're in Cleveland. They have another concert there tonight. Bud confirmed that Peggy Hass is with them, he saw her get off the bus with them at their hotel but he doesn't know in what capacity. She was wearing only one of the band's tour T-shirts but he doesn't know if she's fucking the band or peeling oranges for them. He says he thinks he has a way to find out."

"OK, keep me updated. But then I want him to find Sergei."

"Do we even know Sergei's last name?"

"I'll call Jack and ask him to find out what he can." Jack Hawkins is my friend of thirty years and Deputy Police Chief.

I called Jack in the morning. He called back with the name Sergei Mikhailov and his current residence. I asked if the police found him at his home. Arrested him? He said Sergei's at home and the police talked to him. He has an alibi: He was playing cards with five other men at the time of the shooting. The police are working on the theory that the attack on them was a random robbery attempt. Unless he confesses, Sergei's not going to be arrested for this. I thanked him for the information and we got off.

Nora and I picked up Anna and Sara when Anna was released from the hospital. Anna was walking gingerly and occasionally winced with pain but at least she was walking. I said, "Sergei was playing cards with some friends at the time of the shooting so the police think it was a random robbery attempt."

Sara said, "What a surprise. Do they know where he is?"

"At home. If you're planning to visit him, I'd like to go with you."

Sara replied, "Why would I want to visit him? He has an alibi so it wasn't him." I let it go.

The next day Nora told me Bud called, "Bud said security is so tight he can't get near Peggy Hass or the band. But he did find the band's official photographer who does publicity, website and social media photos for the band. He says he has photos of everything we want to know about Peggy Hass. The guy showed him one photo and it's exactly what Mrs. Hass wants and exactly what Tony Hass doesn't.

"Bud says he'll give us every photo he has of Peggy, and there are dozens, but he wants $50K in cash. He doesn't own the photos and if they get out he'll not only be out of a job, and never be able to get work with another band, but they'll sue him. He says that $50K will make it worthwhile for him."

"Let's call Bud." We got him on the phone and I said, "$50K is a lot of money and we don't need much evidence. Can we just buy a few incriminating pictures from this guy. See if you can negotiate him down to less money for fewer pictures."

Bud said, "I tried that. Told him we'd buy maybe five or ten pictures of Peggy fucking band members. We'll give him $10K for ten pictures. He said no, it's all or nothing. One picture or all of them, the price is $50K. He says he's in as much trouble if one picture gets out as he is if they all get out.

"He wanted to know how we were going to use the pictures. I told him they were just for our client's information. We're in a no-fault state, they couldn't be used in a divorce so they'll never be made public."

I let that pass. "He showed you one picture as an example of what he has. What was in that picture?"

"Peggy giving a band member a blow job. Definitely Peggy. But he says that's the least of Peggy's activities: Nothing compared to what else she's been doing. He says he has it all. But no pictures unless we come up with the money."

"OK, we'll ask the clients what they want to do." We got off.

I said to Nora, "Call and ask if they want to come up with $50K."

"Which one, mother or son?"

"She paid us the retainer so call Mom. Make it clear that it's $50K or nothing but that we understand the pictures this guy took are what she's looking for. Tell her Bud saw one picture and it's what she wants. She can decide if the $50K is worth it."

Mrs. Hass agreed to pay the $50K and told us that it would take a few days to get the cash together.

We told Bud who said, "No problem. The photographer will still have the pictures when Mrs. Hass is ready."

A few days later, Nora came into my office with her phone in hand, "Did you see this?"

"What?" Nora showed me a news item that Sergei Mikhailov was found shot to death in his home. The police believe it was a gang slaying. Their investigation is ongoing.

Anna was off, recuperating at home, for the coming week. But she stopped by the office after visiting Yuri in prison. Anna told us, "You can't let one of his men try to kill you without confronting Yuri. We spoke in Russian but we sorta used coded words: Prison authorities listen to inmate discussions with non-lawyer visitors. It comes down to this: Yuri told me that they have more important things to do than worry about us but Sergei went to Uncle Ivan to ask permission to deal with me. Ivan told him I was no longer under their protection. So it seems that I'm not protected any longer, you guys never were, but I think it's probably true that Yuri and Uncle Ivan aren't actively pursuing us. At least not at this point. No reason to shut us up if we have nothing to say.

"I asked Yuri if this is it? Anyone else coming for me or you guys? Yuri laughed and said that no one likes me so, now that I'm no longer under protection, there's probably a line of people who want me dead."

Anna stopped and said, "I didn't realize no one likes me. Do you guys like me?"

Nora said, "Of course we like you. You're like a younger sister to us."

I nodded enthusiastically in agreement with Nora and said, "He's just teasing his sister."

Anna said, "I think I like not being liked."

Nora smiled and said, "Well, in that case, you're not all that likable. Neither Nick nor I like you very much."

"Good," Anna said, "that makes me feel much better. If I become too likable you'll let me know?"

Nora answered, "If we come across anyone who seems to like you, we'll set them straight."

Anna continued, "Thank you. I really appreciate that."

I asked, "What about Sara? Should we tell her how unlikeable you are?"

"Oh, Sara knows. Our relationship is based on mutual hate. A 'hate up close' type of thing."

"Sounds like a great basis for a wonderful marriage."

"I know, right. We're perfect for each other."

I felt a headache coming on so I asked, "What else happened when you saw Yuri?"

"Yuri wanted to know if I took out Sergei. I didn't, don't know who did, and told him it must have been a gang hit. Let him worry about his competitors knocking off his men."

Anna chuckled, "Speaking of Sara, who was at a wine and cheese party with five women when Sergei was killed, she's thinking about leaving the cops. The FBI has begun investigating police ties to organized crime and some cops think Sara's helping them. It's become very dangerous for her on the job. After they swept Sergei shooting me under the rug, Sara says she's had it. If she quits the force, can she work with us?"

I thought about it: Sara's really too good looking, too noticeable, to be any good at surveillance but then again so is Anna and Nora. There's always wigs, makeup and prosthetics. I looked at Nora who nodded and I said, "If she wants to work here, ask her to come in and we'll talk about salary and benefits. See if we can come to an agreement."

Sara came in, we came to an agreement and we hired her. She told us that she had leave coming so she would turn in her badge and gun and would be available to start the following Monday.

The morning after Anna was shot we had scheduled an appointment with a Mrs. Fine: A husband infidelity case. But we rescheduled for the following Monday morning which worked out perfectly. Anna was still in too much pain to take on anything new but Sara was starting that Monday and it was a simple watch and record case. Something she could handle easily.

Monday morning, both Anna and Sara arrived early. Anna was feeling better but only stopped by to work on her expense report with Nora. Sara was there for her first day at her new job.

Mrs. Fine arrived as I was showing Sara the various camera gadgets we use for surveillance. I asked Mrs. Fine to come in and I asked Sara to stay. Mrs. Fine gave Sara a once over, smiled and sat down. I said, "Mrs. Fine, this is Sara Michaels. I'm going to have her sit in because she'll be lead on your case. How can we help?"

Mrs. Fine said, "My husband Fred owns, with his brother, four coffee shops, franchises of a national chain. The coffee shops are all open until 9pm. He's the backroom guy, he does the accounting stuff, while his brother does hiring, scheduling and purchasing. His work hours are usually around 8am to 6pm, Monday through Friday, with occasional weekends and evenings if he has to fill in. Recently, Fred has been staying to close up or he's been going out after work, he says, 'with the boys'. I don't know what boys he's talking about. He's been getting home some nights after 10 or even 11pm. Now on weekends, he tells me he has to go in: 'He has to close this or that location. He has to cover for someone who couldn't get in.' He's out late those times too. This is all bullshit. He's meeting women at a bar and he's hooking up with them on weekends."

I asked, "If he says he's at work on a weekend or after he should be home, isn't it easy to check? Just go where he says he is and see if he's there."

"Yeah, I've done that. It's always that he started out at one store but had an emergency at another store. One Saturday evening, I went to all four locations and he was at none of them. He told me he was traveling to a different store location so must have just missed me. I got from our credit card statement that he frequents one of three different bars after work, all near the coffee shop where he has his office. If I walk into one of these bars and find him there, even if he's talking with a woman, he'll just give me some story: 'Just talking' or 'She's a regular customer so I was just saying hello'. So I can't just walk into the bars he frequents and catch him. But you can."

I asked what she planned to do with any evidence we found of Mr. Fine's infidelity. "Divorce the bastard." I explained that this is a no-fault state and she replied, "My attorney says that if I can prove adultery, it might help with alimony, getting the house and maybe even getting a share of his coffee shops."

I gave her our fee schedule, which she agreed to, and told her we can start immediately. She gave us his picture, told us the locations of his coffee shops and the bars he frequents. We agreed we would start surveilling the next time Mr. Fine called to tell Mrs. Fine that he had to stay late or that he was going out for drinks. Mrs. Fine gave us a retainer check and, looking over at Sara, asked, "And she'll be doing the surveillance?"

"Yes, Miss Michaels will be working your case."

Then to Sara, she said, "Just find him, pick him up and take him to a hotel. He'll certainly follow you anywhere. Unless you want to, you won't even have to fuck him. Shouldn't take more than a half hour to get everything I'll need for the divorce."

I said, "We don't do that. We just document: we don't entrap, we don't advise, we don't push anyone toward or away from infidelity. Miss Michaels will merely follow him to see where he goes and what he does, record his interactions with others, and try to find out who the people he interacts with are. If you're looking for something more, we're not going to be able to help you."

"Too bad. She could wreck any marriage with just a smile. But I understand if you can't do that sort of thing. I'll call as soon as he tells me he'll be late getting home after work again." Mrs. Fine thanked us and left.

Sara stayed in my office. Nora and Anna were still going over Anna's expenses. After Mrs. Fine was out of ear shot, Nora yelled, "She's got someone she wants to be with. I'm betting it's her brother-in-law, the co-owner of the coffee shops. She's hoping she'll catch Mr. Fine before he catches her." Nora always suspects the motives of our clients. Probably sixty to seventy percent of the time she's right.

I yelled back, "Not our concern." Then to Sara, "Please don't wreck any marriages."

Sara laughed and said, "I'm a lesbian; I'm not interested in fucking Mr. Fine." Then she smiled at me, winked, turned her head and raised her voice to make sure Anna could hear her, "But if it was a nice attractive woman, I'd be up for some fucking and some home wrecking. Only to make sure we have bulletproof documentation of her adultery. Get the goods on her."

Five seconds later, Anna yelled, "SAY WHAT?" Ten seconds later, moving quickly for someone in pain, Anna was at my office door glaring at Sara.

Sara smiled at Anna, "Just for work. All part of the job."

"You wanna be with other women?" Anna looked like she was about to cry.

Sara jumped up and took Anna in her arms, who winced with pain, and said, "I'm sorry, Sweetie, I was just teasing. I don't want to sleep with anyone but you." She started kissing Anna all over Anna's face. "Forgive me?" Anna let herself be held and kissed.

Sara said, "Makeup sex is the best sex. We should have sex right now."

I thought, 'Aren't you supposed to have an argument first, some sort of fight, before having makeup sex? That wasn't an argument; it didn't even last ten seconds. Nora and I have had longer fights over what to watch on TV.' I said, "If you're going to have sex, you can't do it here. This is a business. Find a room or go home."

Anna, still in Sara's arms, ignored me and said to Sara, "He's one to talk. Bud and I.... you met Bud right?" Sara nodded and Anna continued, "Bud and I walked in here and the two of them were having sex right over there." She nodded toward the couch, "Forced us to watch them. It was horrible. Bud was so traumatized that he had trouble speaking for days. Told me he still has horrific nightmares about men with hairy asses who expose themselves to employees. Just terrible." I heard Nora giggling.

Anna and Sara both glared at me. I said, "If the door's locked, knock and wait for a 'Come in' before you enter. That way you won't be traumatized. Now, Anna, can you get back to your expense report so we can bill and get paid by our clients. Sara, can we talk about Mr. Fine?"

Anna went back to working with Nora and Sara sat back down in my office. Sara said, "I was just kidding before. I'm not going to sleep with anyone we're investigating."

Anna yelled from the outer office, "WHAT?" Anna was back at my office door, glaring at Sara.

Sara grimaced, "Oops. I said that wrong. I'm not going to sleep with anyone but Anna and that includes anyone we're investigating." She jumped up and took Anna back in her arms.

Anna said, looking like she was ready to cry, "You don't love me."

Sara kissed Anna and said, "I love you more than anything; beyond limit. Let's have makeup sex right now. Dammit, we have to wait to have sex, Sweetie: We're going to go try on wedding dresses when you and Nora are finished. We'll have to wait until we're home tonight. Do you think you can stay mad at me until then? Once we're home I'll do everything I can to get you to forgive me."

Anna asked, still looking very sad, "And exactly how do you plan to do that?"

"Kissing and licking." Sara began to sing, "With a kiss, kiss here, a kiss, kiss there, here a lick, there a lick everywhere a lick, lick." Then she stopped and said, "If you're really mad at me, I might have to resort to some toys but you'll have to be really angry for me to do that."

"I'm furious and getting even more furious by the minute."

"Good. Just hold off on forgiving me until we're home."

"I'll do my best."

At that point, Sara said, "I love you," and they began really making out.

Then Sara began fondling Anna's ass. But I'd had it: I said, "Enough! Both of you in here now." They came in and sat down on the couch, holding hands, both looking completely innocent without a clue why I might be angry. I said, "Look, this is a business. You have to act professionally when you're here. None of this lovey-dovey shit. No kissing, no groping, no...... sex. Stop holding hands!" They dropped each other's hands like they were on fire. I continued, "Keep your hands off each other; pretend you're just two employees who don't know each other very well. Do I make myself clear?"

Anna said, "This is from someone who regularly has sex with his wife right here on this couch. Very professional."

"First of all, Nora and I are the owners and what we do in our office is our business. We behave properly when there are clients around. You're employees so you'll act professionally at all times around clients and when you're in this office. Second, when you came in and saw us, that was a mistake." The mistake was we didn't lock the outer door. Nora and I go at it on the couch at least twice a week, hundreds of times since we opened the business, but, as I said, it's our couch.

Note to self: Get the couch cleaned.

Anna asked, "Does that mean you're not going to use the couch anymore? If you're not going to use it, can Sara and I?"

Sara nodded enthusiastically and said, "Only when you're out of the office. But if you could leave for a while now, we really need to have some serious makeup sex."

"Both of you, out. Now." I yelled to Nora, "Are you finished with Anna. The expenses done?"

"Pretty much."

Then to Anna and Sara, "Please go find something to do."

Anna said, "I have one more question: Since Sara and I are leaving, is it OK to hold hands?"

"OUT!!"

They got up and left my office. I heard Anna ask Sara, "Was that a yes or no about us using his couch?"

"He didn't say no, just asked us to leave. You know him better than I do; what do you think?"

"I don't know what set him off like that. I guess he's just getting crotchety. Let's try to catch him in a better mood and ask him again later."

"Or we can ask Nora. She'll say it's OK."

I yelled, "You're not using my couch!" That shut them up.

Nora told them to give her a minute and she'd meet them in the lobby. They left holding hands. Nora came into the office: "They're so cute, don't you think?"

"No."

"We used to be like that. We used to always have makeup sex. Still do, actually."

"We were never like that. We never had makeup sex when we were their age: We were too busy having sex to have enough time to get in an argument. Don't encourage them; this is an office. They have to behave professionally."

"They'll behave professionally in front of clients. You know that so stop being such an old man. Darling, I can tell them I'll meet them at the dress place if you want to have makeup sex now."

I sighed, "To have makeup sex we have to get into a fight first. This pretending you're fighting so you can pretend to have makeup sex is really just pathetic. Just fucking have sex: you don't need a story around it. Go ahead with them; we'll try out the couch when you get back."

"OK, be back soon."

"Don't forget to lock the outer door when you return." Nora left.

I thought, 'Now they're all leaving to look at dresses. Too many fucking women working here and, worse, I'm the only man working in an office with two sex crazed lesbians and a sex crazed wanna-be lesbian. Or wanna-be Bi, I guess. It's my own fault; I shouldn't have hired Sara. But damn, she's so fucking good looking and she'll be a really good investigator. They'll be so busy picking out wedding dresses, I probably won't see any of them for a week. Good. Well, Nora is going to miss Bud's report on Peggy Hass. Too bad for her.'

Mrs. Hass came up with the $50K. Over the weekend, Bud flew back here to pick it up and then took it back to Chicago where the band, and their photographer, currently was. By Monday morning he was back with the pictures the band photographer took of Peggy that we paid for. We called the Hass's to come in for a briefing. Mr. and Mrs. Hass, son and mother, arrived at 1pm that afternoon. We sat at the small conference table and Bud pulled out his iPad and connected it to the TV on the wall of my office.

Bud started: "I have pictures of Peggy living and travelling with the band. If you are simply interested in proof of infidelity, these pictures provide that proof. I can show you samples and you can take the rest with you."

Tony said, "She left the concert to meet the band and answer some questions. Then she disappeared with the band. It doesn't make sense. Was she kidnapped, drugged, coerced in any way? Do the pictures show why she ended up leaving with the band? I want to know what happened."

Bud said, "OK, you want to understand how Peggy went from a meet and greet with the band to leaving with them. I think I can explain how that happened. Some background first. The band has an official photographer who takes pictures for their website, publicity and for their Facebook and other media. He also takes pictures of the women who.... join them on tour. The band doesn't want any of these women coming back and saying they were coerced or drugged or that their time with the band wasn't completely voluntary. The pictures he takes of the women are supposed to prove that the women are happily and willingly accompanying the band."

I asked, "Why the explicit photos? Isn't that problematic for the band if they get out?"

"Yes, which is why he's supposed to turn over to the band's manager all the pictures he takes without making any copies. Pop out the camera's SD drive and hand it over. But he keeps copies in case, he says, he needs them later. They want the explicit photos because these girls may say later they were happy to party with the band, drinking, maybe some kissing or sitting on laps, but the hard core sex stuff was coerced. The explicit photos show that the sex was enthusiastically consensual. If any of their..... guests don't eagerly participate in the sex, they're out the door."

Tony said, "I don't believe that Peggy voluntarily consented to being with them. That she participated consensually in what you're implying she did."

Bud continued, "OK. I understand and hopefully the pictures and what the photographer told me will address your concerns. The photographer and I went through the pictures he took and I recorded his narration. He explained how they get these women to suspend their lives and join the band as.... groupies. Exactly what you're interested in finding out about, Mr. Fine.

"It'll be quicker and easier if I just tell you what he told me but if you need to hear what this photographer had to say, we can play that too. So we'll go through the pictures of Peggy with the band while I'll tell you what the photographer told me. He blacked out the heads of the band members because he has a huge liability if pictures get out with their faces intact. But he told me who was who in the pictures as he and I went through them together. The pictures are very explicit so brace yourselves."

Bud opened a folder on his iPad, displayed it on my TV: "The pictures are in chronological order, so from when Peggy first met the band, the supposed meet and greet, until we gave him the money. Here's what the photographer told me about how they rope in women: The tour manager is sent out into the audience before the concert starts to find five or six pretty young women to 'meet the band and answer questions after the show'. Between one and three of these women are picked to travel with the band. Usually two. The women are picked because of their looks but also how compliant and agreeable they seem to be. How star struck they are. Also, they can't be on their period and they have to be at least eighteen.

"So all the women plucked from the audience are brought back to a room where the band chills, winds down from the show, eats, drinks, mingles with any famous people who want to meet the band, before getting on their tour bus. This hospitality room is full of servers, hangers-on, people walking in and out.

"Peggy was the prettiest of the women brought in from the audience so Tommy, the band's front man and lead guitarist, was the one who interviewed Peggy for the spot of groupie. Peggy, of course, didn't know this was an interview. There's evidently a routine Tommy uses with all these women and he used with Peggy. First picture: This is Peggy sitting on Tommy's lap. Tommy's head is blacked out but the photographer assured me it was Tommy in this set of pictures. As you can see, Tommy has his left hand in her cutoffs as far up her thigh as he can get. His right hand is under her top stroking her back."

Peggy was a very pretty woman with a plentiful bust. Tommy's hand placement wasn't at all appropriate for a married woman.

"The next picture is of Tommy helping Peggy take off her top. The photographer says Tommy tells these woman that they should be wearing the tour t-shirt, not whatever top they're wearing. Tommy gives her shirt to the tour manager, asks her for her size and tells the tour manager to get her a t-shirt. The tour manager says he will but doesn't.

"So Peggy's sitting on his lap in her bra and cutoffs. Tommy then asks if he can kiss her. It's just a kiss and very few of these young ladies will refuse to kiss Tommy. Something she can tell all her friends. Tell her grandkids about. Something she'll remember forever. Here's the picture of them kissing. Not a peck on the mouth but really making out. While their kissing, Tommy undoes her bra. This is the picture of Peggy on Tommy's lap with her bra hanging loose. They're still kissing.

"The next picture is of them continuing to kiss but Peggy's bra has gone the way of her top: given to the tour manager. Tommy then proceeds to examine her breasts with his left hand. His right hand is now inside her cutoffs. They're still making out. Here's that picture."

Bud swiped the screen. "Tommy always then asks the woman he's with to get him a drink. This is a test. If she refuses to get his drink, regardless of the reason, she's never getting on the bus. If she agrees to get his drink topless, she'll probably work out as a groupie on the tour. This is the picture of Peggy at the drink table topless getting Tommy his drink. You can see she's trying to cover up as much as possible but she's half naked walking around in front of more than a dozen people. So far, she's a keeper.

"While she's getting the drink, they're told that it's time to get on the bus. When she returns with the drink, Tommy tells Peggy he has to leave. But he has an idea. They have another concert here the next night so they're staying overnight at a nearby hotel. Would she like to come back to the hotel with the band for their afterparty? She would. Eagerly.

"Tommy tells her there's a catch: Guests aren't allowed to wear their clothes on the tour bus for security reasons. If she wants to come with them, she needs to leave her clothes with the tour manager who will bring them to the hotel. To get on the bus, she has to give the tour manager her shorts. Panties and shoes are OK, but nothing else she's wearing. If not, he hopes she enjoyed the concert and hopes she'll come to their concert the next time they tour. He gets up and starts to leave.

If Peggy asks where's the tour t-shirt she's supposed to get and if she can wear that on the bus, Tommy asks the tour manager about the t-shirt and he tells them it's waiting for her on the bus. If Peggy, or any of these women, say they'll meet the band at the hotel, as opposed to handing over her clothes, Tommy says that's not possible: They won't let her up to the band's suite unless she arrives with the band. Security issue. Tommy repeats that maybe he'll see her next time and starts to leave.

According to the photographer, Peggy thought for about half a second before taking off her cutoffs and handing them to the tour manager. She's now in just panties and shoes. The clothes she discarded are thrown away. She'll never see them again."

The pictures were time and date stamped. Tony said, "Around that time I called Peggy and a man answered. They took her phone?"

"They take the girl's pocketbooks and phones before they meet the band. They tell them it's for security reasons and they'll get their stuff back when they leave. It's really to check their ID's to make sure they're at least eighteen. And the girls do get their pocketbooks and phones back when they leave. If they're picked to travel with the band, they won't get their stuff back until they're off the tour. Peggy won't see her bag or phone again until the band throws her out. If one of the girls asks for her phone or purse, she's told that it's somewhere with the rest of the bags and they'll find it and bring it to her. They never do: 'Still looking but it's there somewhere.'"

Bud continued, "These are pictures of Peggy taking off her cutoffs. This is a picture of Peggy and Tommy from the back, with the rest of the entourage, walking down a corridor to the bus. You can see her arm around his waist and his hand on her behind. You can see another woman only in panties in front of them with a man the photographer said was the band's drummer. That is the other woman who was picked. The next picture is of Peggy and Tommy walking to the bus from the front. Peggy realizes her picture is being taken and is still a bit shy so she's trying to hide her breasts and face from the camera. But she gets over any shyness real quick."

I interrupted, "Only two women for a band of five men?"

"There's limited room on the bus and the band shares. They let it be known where they'll be staying in each city so plenty of women show up at their hotels to catch a glimpse of the band. The tour manager is sent down to pick out women to party with them at the hotel. Those women are brought up to the band's suite; they party but are eventually sent on their way. Or they replace the women picked up at the concert.

"The next pictures are of Peggy, still only in panties, sitting on Tommy's lap on the bus. The bus has built-in couches, tables, a small galley, bathroom and beds in the back but you can see how cramped it is. They arrive at the hotel and Peggy is given a tour t-shirt to wear into the hotel. It comes down to her middle thigh"

"Tommy doesn't like hair on women's privates. The next picture is of Peggy on a towel on the floor of the common room of the band's suite. Her legs are open and she's being shaved by the other woman picked to accompany the band. Peggy has her hands covering her face, she's still somewhat shy or embarrassed, but you can see she's smiling, enjoying all the attention from the band members and others sitting around watching. Her panties are gone, she'll never see them again, and so is her tour t-shirt. From now on she'll be naked unless she's in public when she'll be given a tour t-shirt to wear. The next picture is Tommy inspecting Peggy's shaved vagina. The next one is Peggy returning the favor, shaving the other woman.

"This next picture is Tommy carrying Peggy over his shoulder into a bedroom. The photographer is not allowed into bedrooms. He's supposed to only take pictures in common areas like the suite's common room, the bus or the hospitality room at venues. Next picture is Peggy and Tommy emerging from the bedroom about an hour later.

"The remaining pictures are of her having sex with Tommy, other band members, and hangers-on. The pictures get pretty redundant: just various types of sexual interactions with different guys. Some with women and men. You can have all these and look for yourselves if you want but they're pretty much the same stuff with different people." Bud swiped through picture after picture. "There are a few that are a little different so I'll stop at them to show you. Unless you've seen enough."

Mrs. Hass said, "Go on. He needs to see this."

So Bud continued, "Here's one of Peggy on her stomach on the floor of a suite. The two white lines on her butt cheek are cocaine. The guy's head is blacked out, I'm pretty sure it's the bass guitarist, but just at the bottom of the blacked out area you can see the tip of the rolled up bill he's using to sniff up the cocaine."

I interrupted, "Lot of drugs?"

"You can see in many of the party pictures that people in the background are smoking and snorting. I asked about that. The photographer says some of the band members do harder drugs and there's lots around. The girls are encouraged to participate but that's up to them. No one forces them."

Tony asked, "Peggy?"

"There's a picture we skipped over where Peggy is sitting on a couch with some people smoking what the photographer said was marijuana. That's all the evidence of her doing drugs. But there aren't any pictures in the bedrooms and she could have done more there."

Bud waited for more questions but there were none. He had stayed on the picture of the band member sniffing cocaine off Peggy's ass. He said, "One more thing before we leave this picture: If you look closely, you can also see that Peggy has a butt plug inserted. Again, the guy can't take pictures in the bedrooms but I guess we can assume what the butt plug's for."

Bud continued to slide through the pictures. He passed one but went back and stared at it. He said, "Hmm. I don't remember this picture. I'm pretty sure this is the keyboardist behind Peggy in the common room of a suite. At least we're sure now what the butt plug was for.

More scrolling and then Bud paused, "The drummer believes that he's a better musician, makes better music at a concert, if he's given oral sex just before the concert begins. Peggy and the other woman take turns providing what the drummer needs. Again, the drummer's head is blacked out but here's a picture of Peggy taking her turn in the hospitality room just before the band went on stage."

More swiping of pictures before Bud found one he wanted to talk about: "The band members evidently get bored waiting around to leave for the concert so they play games with the girls. They played ring-toss with Peggy. This is a picture of Peggy, bent over with the peg of a child's ring-toss game placed in her rectum. They then take turns trying to throw the rings onto the peg."

Tony asked, "They forced her to do that?"

Bud replied, "These are all the pictures of them playing ring toss with Peggy." He scrolled. "She's laughing as much as they are."

"The photographer told me Tommy tired of her after a few days but she remained with the band to..... service the rest of the band and the people they come into contact with. They'll keep her around until they find someone new who's as...... willing as Peggy seems to be.

"The other woman whom they picked up at the concert with Peggy is already gone. She left with her pocketbook and phone, a free t-shirt which is all she has to wear home, memories of her wonderful time with the band, $500 in cash, and probably several STI's. The photographer said Peggy will follow her in the next few days."

Tony asked, "Did you talk to Peggy."

"You can't get near the band, or her, unless you're a willing young woman or part of the band's entourage. I figured I'd try the photographer. He's always there but he's sort of in the background. He had what you need."

I said, "You have more than enough proof of Peggy's infidelity but this is a no-fault state so the pictures won't help much in a divorce."

Mrs. Hass said to her son Tony, "I knew this is what she was like. I told you. I told you the baby probably wasn't even yours." She continued, to Bud and me, "She got pregnant at the end of their senior year in high school. We gave her a pre-nup to sign and she refused until I told her we'd cut them both off if they married without a pre-nup. She signed. The pre-nup punishes adultery so she'll get nothing from the divorce.

"We also wanted a paternity test but the earliest that can be done is after six weeks. We told her no wedding until we had the paternity test. She convinced my son to elope and then she had the miscarriage. She lost the baby before we could get conclusive paternity results."

Tony said, "I think I should talk to her when she returns. See if they forced her. Maybe I should go get her away from them."

Bud said, "She wasn't forced, the pictures prove that, and she's been with untold number of men and some women and men together. Tommy and the other band members wear condoms, they don't want a disease or a baby showing up, but many of the others don't. If you decide to take her back, have her get an STI panel done before you're intimate with her. She's definitely picked up at least one STI."

Mrs. Hass said, "You're not going anywhere but to see our lawyer. We'll serve her with papers as soon as she's back here."

"Mother, the photographer is paid to take pictures to make it look like Peggy did all this voluntarily. He didn't take pictures of Peggy pleading for her clothes or to let her go or to let her use a phone to call me. She's trapped there but the photographer's not going to take those pictures. I'm going to go get Peggy. Where's the band now?"

Bud answered, "They're in Chicago tonight and the next two nights."

Tony asked, "Do you know where they'll be staying? I'm going to go get her. I'll get a room at the hotel and find her."

Bud gave him the hotel information but said, "Good luck getting near her. The band takes part of a hotel floor and their security keeps everyone out. You can probably see her as she enters or leaves the hotel for the bus but she'll be surrounded by security then too. When they're finished with her, they'll send her home."

Tony said, "That's what the guy who answered her phone said." Tony and Mrs. Hass took the pictures and left.

Bud was curious if Tony went to Chicago and had any success luring Peggy away from the band. He called the photographer a few days later and asked if Peggy's husband showed up looking for her. I was as curious as Bud so I listened to the call. The photographer said a man called out to Peggy as they were walking from the hotel to the bus. Peggy was holding hands with the tour manager when this guy yelled to Peggy that he was there to take her home. Peggy was wearing the tour t-shirt she wore when out in public. Peggy stood there and explained to the fellow who called out that she was now part of the band and needed to finish the tour. He should go home now and leave her alone; she'd see him after the tour. She then got on the bus.

The same guy, still shouting that Peggy should come home with him, was in the hotel lobby when Peggy and the band returned after the concert. That he was in the hotel lobby meant he was staying at the hotel. This time Peggy completely ignored the fellow but jumped into the tour manager's arms who carried her into the elevator.

The photographer said that Peggy and the tour manager were together. 'Together' meant that Peggy fucked the tour manager more than any of the others because she slept in the tour manager's hotel room with him.

The band's manager doesn't like husbands around yelling for their wives to come home. Bad publicity. When the band and staff were in their bedrooms and everyone else was looking for a place to sleep early the next morning, Peggy was escorted out of the suite by the tour manager and a security guy. She left with her pocketbook and phone, a free t-shirt to wear home, $500 in cash, memories of her wonderful time with the band, probably several STI's and a slap on the ass.

The rest, the photographer told us, is from what the tour manager told him: As they reached the front entrance to the hotel, Peggy turned, went to the reception desk and asked for what turned out to be her husband's room number. The tour manager and security hung around to make sure Peggy didn't try to run back to the band's suite. The receptionist called up and the guy who'd been yelling at Peggy earlier was downstairs to fetch her a few minutes later. They were all smiles and tears and remained in the lobby hugging for almost a minute. Then they headed for the elevator, holding on to each other for dear life. The photographer got off after saying, "And they lived happily ever after."

Nora returned from the wedding dress fitting around 2:30 and reported that neither Sara nor Anna had nipple piercings. "But dammit, they kept their panties on the whole time and I couldn't tell about any piercings...... elsewhere."

Nora went on to say, "Sara really is perfect."

Sara is gorgeous but I said, "I haven't noticed."

Nora continued, "She looks perfect but there must be something about her that's not perfect. I bet she farts in her sleep or something disgusting like that."

I said, "You fart in your sleep."

"I do not! It's you who farts."

This was another discussion that was going nowhere so I let it drop.

Sara, reflecting, said, "There must be something that's not perfect about Sara. And I'd like to know if she has piercings.... down there."

"Why? Who cares?"

"I'd just like to know."

"And you plan to find out."

"Or die trying."

"How?"

"I have my ways. I'm a privates' investigator." She laughed.

Then Nora paused, thinking, and said, "Nick, Darling?"

"Yes, Darling."

"I've been watching lesbian porn videos. Porn videos aren't real, right? I mean they do stuff to each other in those videos that lesbians don't really do. Or have to do, right? Darling."

"Like what, Darling?"

"Well, like in a lot of videos, they lick each other's assholes. Is that sort of thing really expected? I don't want to lick anyone's asshole. Or have anyone lick mine. I'd just as soon not have sex with a woman if I have to do that. Darling."

"Nora, honestly, I don't watch a lot of lesbian porn and I haven't had any firsthand lesbian experiences. Maybe just be prepared to start licking but hope it's not expected. Darling."

"Do you think Sara would insist I lick her asshole? Or that she lick mine? Darling."

"Maybe ask her casually, like when you're going over expenses or telling her about her next job. Something like, 'By the way, do you lick assholes or expect others to lick yours?' See what she says. Darling."

"She may lie about it. Or not want to tell me. Darling."

"I know how to find out: You got 'Lesbian Weddings for Dummies'. Maybe there's a 'Lesbian Sex for Dummies'. You can find out about this whole asshole thing. Darling."

"It wasn't one of those for dummies books, just a worthless book on lesbian weddings. But I'm sure there's a book I can buy that gives instructions on lesbian sex. Darling."

"Maybe you're not a lesbian. Are you attracted to women in general or just Sara. Darling."

"I'm attracted to Sara and since I'm attracted to a woman doesn't that make me a lesbian? Or rather, Bi, because I love you and love having sex with you. Darling."

"I don't know what to tell you, and I could be wrong, but it doesn't sound like you're a lesbian to me. And, from a completely objective perspective, you've seemed to like the sex you've had with me for over thirty-five years. Darling."

"I do, Darling. We can have sex right now if you want." Then a pause while Nora sorted out her thoughts: "I know: I'll see what a woman's hands on me feel like. I'll get a massage." Another pause while Nora thought some more, then, "I'm going to call my sister. We'll do a couple's massage."

"You're going to do a couple's massage with your sister?"

Confused, Nora asked, "What?" Then she glared at me, "You know, you either half-listen to what I say or you don't listen at all. I always tell you things that you say I never told you. And again you're half listening. Why would I get a couple's massage with my sister?"

"That's what you just said, you're going to call your sister and you'll get a couple's massage."

"Jesus, can you listen this time? I'm going to call my sister Betty who went with Ben..... you remember Ben, her husband?"

"Yes, I remember Ben. Wish I didn't but I've met him at family events at least fifty times over the years."

"Stop it, Ben's a good guy. Anyway, Betty and Ben had a couple's massage and they really enjoyed it. I'm going to call her and get the name of the massage place and book a couple's massage for you and me. What I said the first time if you just listened."

"I was supposed to understand all that from, 'I'm going to call my sister. We're doing a couple's massage.'?"

"Exactly."

I thought, 'Maybe there's an "Understanding Nora for Dummies,"' but I said, "Yeah, you're right. I'll try to listen better. I'd love a couple's massage with you.

At that point, Mrs. Fine called to report that Mr. Fine called her and said he'd be late getting home tonight: "Drinks with the boys."

I called Sara: Mr. Fine is going out with the boys tonight. You all set?"

"Yup. I'll be at his coffee shop waiting for him to leave by 5:30."

"You might want to do some research online about the three bars he goes to. See if they're neighborhood bars or yuppie bars or whatever. So you can dress to fit in."

"On the way home from the dress fitting, Anna and I visited all three bars this afternoon and talked to the bartenders. The clientele at all three are middle aged, middle manager types who want to delay as long as possible going home to their spouses. And/or are trying to hook up. I'll probably be frequenting that type of bar in a couple of years."

I heard Anna in the background: "WHAT?"

"Just kidding, Sweetie. I'll probably never be a middle manager so it won't be a bar like those. Probably a lesbian bar with others like me looking for love in all the wrong places."

"Sara!"

I said, "Sounds like you're all set. Test the camera in the clutch before you start out."

"Already did."

"So there's nothing I have to tell you that you've not done already."

"You can tell me, 'Good Luck.'"

"Good Luck!"

"Probably need it with Anna when we hang up. She's really angry with me. I love makeup sex especially when I'm the one who needs to be forgiven for my trespasses. What time is it?" She paused, then said, "Great. There's plenty of time to get Anna to forgive me before I have to be at Mr. Fine's coffee shop. I have to get going."

I said, "Have fun," and we hung up.

After Sara and I finished talking, Nora got up and picked up her bag like she was heading out. I asked, "Where're you going?"

"I thought I'd join Sara watching Mr. Fine. It's her first time, and all. I can keep an eye on what she does. Give her some pointers. Darling."

I said, "That's what I was going to do, meet her to help with Mr. Fine. It makes more sense if I'm with her: men won't hit on her all night if she's with a man. Darling."

"You're twice her age. You'll stand out; people will think she's at the bar with her father. Darling."

"So I'll act like I'm her sugar daddy. Darling."

"Well, Sara and I can pretend to be lesbians. We can kiss, and hug and fondle each other; act like we're in a relationship. That'll keep the men away too. Darling."

"Pretend?" Nora shrugged. I continued, "That's what I'll do as her sugar daddy: Kiss, hug and fondle her. Hopefully, she'll understand the need to do the same to me. Darling."

Nora put down her pocketbook, came up to me at my desk, put her hands on her hips, glared at me and stated unequivocally, "You are not going anywhere with Sara."

I put my hands on my hips, glared at Nora and stated unequivocally, "You are not going anywhere with Sara."

Nora said, "Who's going to stop me? You?"

I said, "Yeah, me."

Every six months or so, probably more often than that, Nora and I have a spat which results in my chasing her or her chasing me around my desk. Like an old time movie where the boss chases the secretary around his desk but never catches her. Except Nora lets me catch her. That, and what we do next, seems to resolve the spat. As soon as I said, "Yeah, me," Nora took off, me right behind her. When she let me catch her, after three turns around, I took her in my arms and we kissed. Then I took off her clothes and carried her to the couch.

She asked, "How are you able to take my clothes off so fast. And without tearing anything."

I replied, "Lots of practice. Years of practice." She was lying on the couch waiting for me to undress but instead I picked up her clothes from where I'd put them on my desk and said, "See you later." I headed for the office front door.

Nora got up on her elbows and asked, "What are you doing? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to join Sara for her surveillance. You can join us too but you'll have to do it naked. Might be a little distracting in the bar though. You won't mind if Sara and I pretend we don't know the naked lady?"

I made it out the office door before Nora could get to me. Nora yelled, alarmed now, "Give me my clothes!" I closed the outer office door behind me. I heard Nora yell, "Nick, get back here!"

Nora keeps a red cardigan sweater on a coat rack near her desk but I doubt if she'd want to get an Uber home wearing only that. I waited in the hallway just outside our office to see what Nora would do. I heard her pacing, then pick up the office phone and almost immediately put it back without making a call. Then more pacing.

After about five minutes, she opened the office door, peeked out and saw me: "You jerk. Get in here." I went back into the office, picked up Nora and put her back on the couch. She jumped up off the couch, glared at me, hands on hips, legs parted and said, "Give me your clothes. Now." Nora is a formidable woman, even naked, so I gave her my clothes and we got back on the couch.

After one round, Nora asked, "Can we talk?"

I said, "We only did it once and you're ready to forgive me? It usually takes a few..... sessions."

"Oh, I'm still furious with you and I will be for at least the next three or four hours. I just thought that while we catch our breath before the next go-around, we could have a chat." She paused, thinking, then blurted out: "We have to get rid of Anna."

"I like Anna and she does excellent work. Why would we want to get rid of her?"

"She's the main obstacle between me being with Sara. We get rid of Anna, get her out of Sara's life, Sara will come to me looking for comfort."

"Why would I help you?"

"You love me; at least you say you do. Wouldn't you want me to be happy?"

"So Sara will make you happy and I don't?"

"You never listen to me so, as usual, I have to explain. Again. Of course you make me happy. Just that Sara would make me...... happier."

I got up from the couch and started to dress. Nora asked, "What are you doing? Where are you going?"

I said, "I'm done. I'm obviously not enough for you so I'll let you find someone who fulfills you completely. Sara or whoever. I don't think you should be with someone who you aren't wholeheartedly happy with."

"Are you insane? Come back here." I didn't say anything, just continued to dress. Nora continued, "I love you. You're my entire life. You've always been my entire life. You fulfil me completely. I'm not interested in anyone else."

I replied, "You keep saying you want to explore your attraction to women, or to Sara, I guess. I'm giving you the freedom to do that but I'm not going to stick around to watch. You want to be with Sara, great, go be with Sara. I'm out of it."

"I was just kidding around. I don't want to be with Sara. It's all just silly teasing. I mean, it's so ridiculous. Sara is marrying Anna. They're so in love nothing could tear them apart. Do you think I'm stupid enough to think she and I are going to run off together? You're overreacting. It was just talk."

"Just talk? I've tolerated this 'just talk' from you. I've gone along; maybe too much. But you've begun planning how to do it. And you want me to help you. You're getting rid of Anna? Too bad Sergei's dead; he could have been helpful with that. Your lust for Sara has made you crazy. You're obsessed with her. Fine, but I'm out."

Nora said, "I don't love Sara, I love you."

"Nora, you've been talking non-stop about being with Sara since she came into our lives. What am I supposed to think? I'm not going to share you with anyone. It's time for me to bow out."

I finished dressing and started for the office door. Nora said, "This is crazy. Where are you going?"

I said, "I don't want to listen to you pining away for Sara. Or about your need to explore. If you're a lesbian, fine, I'm happy about that if you are. But go be a lesbian. If you're Bi, fine, then be Bi. Again, I'm happy for you, but that's not what I signed up for. I'm not going to share you. These are more than just fantasies and you need to resolve these feelings but we can't continue like this."

Nora said, "There's nothing I need to explore or resolve. Would you give me five minutes to explain?"

"Nothing to explain. You've made your feelings clear."

"Three minutes and a blow job afterward." Nora smiled, "Please don't leave."

"Go ahead. The blow job depends on what you say."

"Come sit next to me." I did. Nora sighed, "We've always played this game where I pretend to be interested in some guy and you pretend not to care. Like I pretended to be interested in that cop we hired and who disappeared or was killed or whatever. I don't even remember his name."

"Robb."

"Right, Robb. Then you pretend to be interested in someone like Anna and I pretend to get jealous and then we have sex. That's our little game. And it's fun; we both enjoy it.

"Then we find out that Anna is gay and engaged to Sara. Two wonderful people whom we're lucky to have in our lives. I love being around them: their youth, their love for each other, their energy, their excitement about life. They remind me of us when we were younger. They're about the age of a daughter we could have had if I was able to have children. I catch myself sometimes thinking of them as our daughters. I love them both and feel a special connection with both of them. But it's not sexual or romantic love.

"Anyway, Sara was the new kid on the block so I figured I'd have her be the one I'm interested in for the game we always play. This time I let it go too far and, for that, I apologize. I pretended I'm interested in her, that maybe I'm a lesbian, and you played along as you always do. It would have gone nowhere, as usual, just teasing each other and then good sex.

"But you played that prank on me, they're taking you along on their honeymoon, which was cruel. More cruel because you involved Anna in the prank. You asked her to help you embarrass me, made me look stupid and foolish. I wouldn't have minded so much if you had involved almost anyone else but you involved Anna, someone I think of as a daughter, and that hurt. I was pissed at both of you but especially you. I decided to double down on my pretend infatuation with Sara.

"After all the bullshit play acting, I would never have done anything with Robb and you know that. No man is ever going to replace you. I don't need or want anyone else. The same applies to Sara and any other woman. I just need you. But I took it too far because I was pissed and wanted to hurt you back. I'm sorry."

I said, "You studied lesbian porn so you'd know what to do. You just told me you wanted my help getting rid of Anna so you could be with Sara. That doesn't sound like you were pretending or just playing our game."

"That's what I meant by taking it too far. I've watched a couple of lesbian porn videos over the years. They don't really interest me. I'm almost fifty-three. Seems like if I was into women I would probably have noticed that before now. The stuff about licking assholes I got from a porn video of a man with two women and they all did some licking. You reminded me of that video when you suggested we have a three-way with another woman.

"All that was so you'd believe that, this time, I was serious about being with someone other than you. The same with asking you to help get rid of Anna. I would have kept going until I got the reaction from you I just got. Well, I got the reaction but I feel so shitty now I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out. Please understand that there's never going to be anyone for me but you. You're my whole life. Please forgive me."

"Why do you watch porn?"

"See if there's anything new I can bring to our lovemaking. Don't want you getting bored with me."

"And ass licking is off the table?"

"Definitely off the table. Ugh."

"Your three minutes are up. Where's my blow job?"

I love makeup sex as much as Sara said she does. But, unlike Sara, I like it much better when I'm the offended party and Nora is the one trying to make amends. We stayed on the couch for over an hour while Nora tried to make amends. She was eventually successful.

Early the next morning we had a client meeting. After they left, I apologized to Nora for the prank and for involving Anna. Nora told me she didn't forgive me and that I had to work to gain her forgiveness. Another session on the couch. Makeup sex is the best sex.