The Porn-Logic Assistance Reasoning

Author Note: Originally posted elsewhere on 2024-05-03

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"Hello? Is this Ms Teller?" Penny was almost at the end of her shift when she received the call.

Sheldon was in the hospital. For some reason she was set as his emergency contact, which was sweet in a way. That he trusted her so much. Especially after her messy break up with Leonard, out of the entire group Sheldon had been the only one to stay in touch and make time to meet with her, she had been counting on Raj to pull through as well but Howard was very clearly 'Camp Leonard' and wherever Howard went, Raj followed.

Penny glanced at the clock and bit her lip. She only had one hour left of her shift, but it was a Friday... sighing she moved to talk to Terry, her manager. Thankfully he understood and let her go without too much of a fuss, which she was thankful for, but still, a Friday afternoon shift cut short meant losing out on some tips.

She was going to make Sheldon buy her dinner.

Knowing that Sheldon's life was not in danger, she decided to go to Los Robles first. Both to take a shower and to pick up a change of clothes for Sheldon. He despised hospitals already, so it would go a long way to calm his mind knowing he had clean clothes and that she was clean as well.

A really quick shower later she picked up a comfy outfit, went to 4A to pick one of Sheldon's prepackaged clothes bags and in record time, less than 20 minutes, she was on her way to the hospital.

On the drive Penny had to wonder what could have led Dr Wackadoodle to land himself in a Hospital bed, all the nurse would say is that he was fine but he needed a family member there with him. 'Guess that means me.' She did smile a little at that thought.

She also spent the drive debating whether to call Leonard or not, he hadn't been at 4A and things were still a little weird between them. She did hear that he had rekindled his relationship with Leslie Winkle and she didn't want to interrupt him in the middle of a date.

And also a part of her knew that he would misunderstand her call as some sort of attempt to get back with him. For being such a snivel little piece of- No. That wasn't totally fair. He did have a bit of an ego problem but overall was a nice guy. Still, she wasn't going to call him.

By the time she made her decision the hospital came into view. Thankfully she's able to find a parking spot easily near the main entrance. This is the same hospital that Sheldon drove her to when she had her shower accident, so maybe life did have a sense of humor.

Seeing a couple of well dressed people enter the hospital in front of her made her think that maybe she shouldn't have been so casual about choosing her outfit. She was starting to feel a little self conscious in her 'Juicy' sweatpants and large hoodie but moving to the waiting room and seeing everyone else looking pretty much the same or worse made her shrug off the last of those feelings.

The reception desk is easy to find.

"Hi, I'm here for Sheldon Cooper. I got a call earlier." Penny said to the frazzled looking nurse manning the desk.

"Are you his girlfriend?" The nurse was not amused as she stared straight at Penny and wasted no time with greetings.

Penny took only a moment to think, if she said no then they will most likely ask her to leave because she's not a family member which would mean that Sheldon will have to stay here until someone can come get him out.

"Yes. I'm his girlfriend." The lie comes out easily, no one will know. No harm, no foul.

"Thank god!" The relief in the nurse's voice staggers Penny. Seems that she's already encountered the wall named Sheldon Cooper personally. "Follow me." The nurse motioned to another nurse that she should take over the reception and Penny had to move quickly to keep up with the almost sprinting nurse.

"Mr-I mean, Dr Cooper suffered an accident at work." The nurse didn't even look back to make sure Penny was following her. "He claims that another colleague of his was performing an experiment with liquid nitrogen."

"Oh my god!" Holy shit, that didn't sound like nothing. Wasn't that stuff deadly if not managed correctly?

"Don't worry, he's fine, it's just some frostnip on his fingers. He could have treated this at home, but insisted on being treated here. He was also becoming disruptive, as such we moved him to his own room to prevent any incidents." Penny doesn't miss the 'I'm done with this' tone in her voice.

Also, she's not stupid, moving him to his own room means that Sheldon was freaking out and that was causing other patients to freak out. 'Great and I'm the one that has the joy to deal with this.'

"We gave him something to settle his nerves, but because of that he can't leave on his own." The nurse truly sounded relieved.

"Don't worry, I'll get him out of your hair in no time." Penny reassured her.

"That's not all, I'm afraid. But let's wait until we're with Dr Cooper." There's something in her voice but Penny didn't question the nurse any further and simply followed her.

It doesn't take long for them to reach an open door. The room is rather small and there's only one bed in it, her favorite Wackadoodle laid on top of it and turned as soon as he heard them.

"Penny!" Sheldon brightened in relief when he caught sight of her. He was being more expressive than usual but that's most likely due to whatever they gave him to calm him down.

"Hey Sheldon." She smiled at him but her smile faltered a little at seeing his bandaged hands. Before she could ask anything the nurse reassured her again that he was fine.

"I got you a change of clothes Moonpie." She showed him the bag.

"Thank you Penny. We can finally leave this infernal place." Sheldon was already moving to stand up but the nurse stopped him.

"Not so fast Dr Cooper, you remember what the doctor asked, don't you?"

"I have an eidet-" The nurse interrupted him by turning to Penny and speaking loudly.

"Here you go. Once you're done you can call a nurse and we'll sign him out." Penny accepted a sealed plastic bag from the nurse almost by instinct. Looking down at her hand she saw a plastic cup, like the ones you have to pee in.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait!" Penny chased after the fleeing nurse "What's this, what do you mean? I have to help him pee?" She was freaking out a little because this just took a turn she wasn't ready for.

"What? No." The nurse deadpanned and Penny almost sighed in relief but froze at the nurse's next words. "The Doctor requested a sperm sample."

Penny must have misheard her. There's no way she just said that, but before she could question the nurse again she was already gone, leaving Penny standing alone in the empty hospital hallway.

Returning to Sheldon, she could see him blushing fiercely and he had his eyes closed. 'Oh right, freaky hearing.'

"So... uh, how are you Sheldon?" Penny decided the best way to approach this was to ignore it completely.

"I knew that wack of a doctor didn't know what he was doing!" Sheldon said through gritted teeth.

"Wait, you told the doctor how to do his job?" A pinprick of suspicion started to form in her mind.

"Penny. The man was a Neanderthal that suggested I use Aloe Vera and ibuprofen to treat what's clearly a severe case of frostbite." Sheldon fumed and Penny knew her suspicion was true. Sheldon made the doctor so upset that he requested a sperm sample, when the patient couldn't use his hands.

Penny facepalmed and sighed deeply. "Honey. You can't go around offending people like that."

"You don't understand Penny, my-" Penny interrupted him.

"I understand. I understand that the doctor asked you to provide a sperm sample when you can't use your hands. Do you see how this has 'Fuck you' written all over it?"

"Penny! There's no need to curse, besides, I don't see how that Neand-... oh!" He at least had the decency to look ashamed once he got it.

"And there it is. You called him that to his face didn't you?" Penny asked despite already knowing the answer.

"I... might have." Sheldon closed his eyes as he blushed in shame.

"And that's the reason for this." She shook the plastic bag containing the cup.

"Could you please ask the nurse if we can go?" He begged her.

"Sure Honey, I'll tell them you'll apologize to the doctor." Sheldon looked ready to protest but Penny raised an eyebrow and he grumbled an agreement.

Ten minutes later Penny is back in the room. The nurses were adamant, Sheldon couldn't leave unless they got their sample, and the doctor would not be back until tomorrow night, so it was either the sample or waiting for the doctor. She was sure that the nurses were grinning.

"Sorry Honey, no luck." Sheldon groaned in disappointment once she explained that it's either the sample or waiting for the doctor. No other way around it.

"This can't be happening." Penny had to agree with him on that, it was so bizarre.

"Can't you? I don't know, hump the mattress or something?" She cringed a little as she said it.

Sheldon glared at her. "You want me to... hump?" He looked offended that she even dared to ask him that.

"Okay, okay, okay." She raised her hands in defeat. "Do you have any better ideas?" Penny sat on the edge of the bed.

"Maybe, I could use my hand." He lifted his right hand. "Could you help me remove the bandages?" A pause. "Please?"

He looked so pathetic that Penny couldn't do anything else but help him, the bandages are not tightly wrapped so it was an easy thing to remove them. She gasped at seeing his fingers, the skin looked slightly bruised and swollen, she had thought that Sheldon had been exaggerating but it did look painful. Sheldon flexed his fingers cautiously and Penny didn't miss the grimace of pain that crossed his face.

"No. Just no. Sheldon, you'll hurt your hand." She pleaded.

"It'll have to do Penny. I can't stand to stay another moment more in this dreadful place." He looked miserable but determined.

Penny bit her lip, looked up at the ceiling. 'Ah fuck it.' She was single, he was single. And this is just to help him get out of this place. She got up and closed the door, sadly it didn't have an actual lock, but the flimsy hook will have to do.

"Listen Moonpie, not a word of this to anyone. Capisce?" She threatened him and he only looked confused.

"Of wha-AAHH! Penny!" Sheldon screamed because she unbuckled his belt and then moved towards his pants. His hands tried to stop her but he didn't actually touch her, whether because of the pain or the germs, she'd never know. "Penny, what are you doing?"

Penny had to stop because she was wondering the exact same thing herself.

"Look. This is the only way you're getting out of this place. I'll help you out or I can call Leonard and have him do it?" Of course her sarcastic tone is lost on him.

"Leonard, Leslie, Koothrappali and Wolowitz are camping out in the desert again. Leslie promised them 'the good mushrooms'." Sheldon's voice was high and he explained this whole thing in a single breath.

"So you're stuck with me. Actually, you're not, I can easily just return tomorrow night when the doctor is in and leave you here." She wouldn't, not really.

Despite the pain it caused him, Sheldon took a hold of her arm. "Please don't leave me." It broke her heart to hear him so lost.

"I won't." She tried to reassure him by putting her hand on top of his. "Now, can we get a move on this?" She gestured to his crotch.

"Can you sanitize first? Please." He gestured to the bottle of sanitizing gel on the bedside table. Penny didn't want to drag this any longer so she just did it, dropping the bag with the cup next to his leg, she grabbed the bottle and squirted a big dollop and rubbed her hands until it was gone.

"I also took a shower and brushed my teeth before coming here." She said sarcastically but Sheldon actually looked relieved. 'Wackadoodle.'

Suddenly feeling nervous again, Penny went to sit back at the bed. Sheldon's pants were open and she could see his underwear, as well as the bulge sitting there. She tried to grab him but the sleeves of her oversized hoodie kept getting in the way, she tried to pull them but it was no use, they fell back down each time.

Sighing in frustration she took off her hoodie and dropped it on the only chair. The room was quiet, the only noise was the hum of the crappy AC, because of that she was able to hear Sheldon's sudden intake of breath. When she turned to look at him, he was looking at her intently.

Or to be more precise, he was looking at her chest.

Penny wasn't expecting to remove her hoodie anywhere that wasn't her apartment, so she didn't put much thought about what she was wearing underneath. She had chosen a pretty comfy but ratty white undershirt, one that she had for years and that by this point was pretty much see-through.

Not helping matters was the fact that the room was cold like all hospital rooms tend to be, her body reacted to the change in temperature and Sheldon was trying his hardest to make eye contact with her nipples, of course her nipples seemed to preen at the attention and now Penny could feel her own blush creep up to her face.

Just as she's about to say 'My eyes are up here.' She could see that she was having an effect on Sheldon. His underwear strained and she could see Sheldon Jr pop out the top.

Her mouth is suddenly dry. 'You can do this Penny.'

The last time she had been this nervous around a dick, was when she was sixteen and in the back of Matt O'Brian's pick up truck, she didn't know what to do with her hands and ended up giving him a friction burn.

'Holy crap, this is Sheldon.' Her mind reminded her helpfully.

"Penny, perhaps we should give your idea of 'humping' a fair chance." It looked like Sheldon finally stopped looking at her chest and instead turned his eyes towards the ceiling, she could see a flush all the way down to his neck.

Penny physically shook herself and took a deep breath. "Too late Moonpie, we're doing this." She was no coward, Penny once finished a Junior Rodeo competition with a fractured wrist, she could do this.

With a shaky hand she pulled down his underwear.

Sheldon gasped as his dick bounced for a moment before settling back down against his groin. Penny had no idea of what Sheldon would be packing, but damn, he was fine. Of course because he was Sheldon it meant that his dick is properly cared for and clean, she would go as far as to call his dick 'cute'.

Of course it was less cute because it looked as if it was trying to escape and attack her. Sheldon hadn't realized that he was moving his hips, probably trying to rub himself against anything or anyone at that moment.

It's the itch between her legs that finally broke her out of the staring contest with Sheldon's dick. Pressing her legs together confirmed that she was also being affected by this... bizarre situation.

'Please don't let Sheldon have a freaky sense of smell on top of freaky hearing.'

Finally gathering up her courage, she reached for the dick in front of her. It was hot against her cool skin and it made her squeeze it twice, it made Sheldon groan in a way she's never heard from him before. Her hand tried to move up and down but her hands were dry and it was hard. 'No pun intended.' She laughs in her head.

Sheldon wasn't talking which was freaking her out even more. She was kind of expecting him to tell her how to do it and then berate her for doing it wrong, but the only sounds coming from his mouth were small grunts every time her hand moved up. It did something to her, to hear him like that, made her feel in control, he was making those sounds because of her.

The great Sheldon Cooper was nothing but putty in her hands. She was the one making him close his eyes in pleasure, her hand was the reason for his frown and grimace in pleasure.

She was so focused on his face and the sounds he was making that the feeling of his precum covering her fingers made her flinch in surprise for a moment before focusing back on the dick at hand. 'You're hilarious Penny.' Joking made her not focus on the way her own body was reacting to this entire thing.

Thanks to the lubrication her hand had an easier time pumping him, she twisted her hand on the upswing and right on the head of his dick which made him buck to try and fuck her hand. She was certain he didn't realize what he was doing.

"Penny! I-" Sheldon's voice was frantic and panicked, the way he was bucking his hips and pressing his back against the bed made it clear what was about to happen. Still pumping him she looked for the cup... and realized it was still in the plastic bag, a bag she was not going to be able to open, remove the cup and then open the cup before Sheldon came.

"Sheldon, waitwaitwaitwait." She used her hand to grab the head of his dick but seeing him flinch made her think it was a bad idea.

Sheldon was too far gone, she could tell that he was past the point of no return. She had a second to find a solution.

"You SO owe me for this!" He wasn't paying attention to her but she still said it loudly.

And then Penny put the head of his dick in her mouth. Sheldon finally looked down at her in shock and made eye contact with her, she glared at him, daring him to say anything but it seemed to have the opposite effect because Sheldon simply grunted, bucked his hips and then her mouth was filled with semen.

'I bet this is not covered in our friendship contract.'

Waiting for Sheldon to finish cumming, Penny had enough time to wonder how did they end up in this situation, how Sheldon was going to repay her, was he going to be remembering this the next time he jerks off and most of all she wondered why the hell he was still cumming?

After what felt like an hour, Sheldon was finally done and she could feel him softening up. Carefully she removed his dick from her mouth and not wanting to keep using her mouth as a makeshift cup, she quickly broke open the plastic bag, removed the cup and the lid and spit out the contents of her mouth, letting her tongue out.

Sheldon gasped again and Penny turned to look at him and had to do a double take at seeing his dick trying to come back to life.

"Seriously? This is getting you hard again?" She asked once her mouth was free of his cum.

"Ah. No?" So Sheldon after cumming was an idiot like every other man out there, that was good to know. Not.

Penny made sure to put the cup away safely after putting the lid on it, wasting no time she put her hoodie back on and did her best to ignore both the taste in her mouth and the way her panties were drenched.

Because no good action goes unpunished she also has to help Sheldon put his dick back into his underwear and then buckle his pants and belt, all of it which was made harder (Ha!) by him being at half-mast.

Another huge glob... she tried thinking of another word but came up with nothing. Another huge glob of sanitizing gel and they were both ready to leave.

"Not a word to anyone Sheldon." She warned him as they walked towards the reception, Sheldon was holding onto the bag containing the change of clothes he never even used.

"Understood." She side-eyed him but he looked to be slowly composing himself back into the usual Sheldon.

They reached the reception quickly and with the cup now containing the much requested sample the nurses finally allowed Sheldon to check out. The nurses ginned all the while.

They were almost out the door when Penny glanced back at the nurse and witnessed the nurse throwing Sheldon's cup into the trash. 'Motherfucker!'

"Let's go Moonpie, you're buying dinner." Penny grumbled.

"Only-" He started but she wasn't in the mood and gave him the look, the same look her mother gave her father when he messed up. Thankfully it seemed that even Sheldon knew the look because he stopped talking.

She knew it had been effective because he didn't even mention the state of her car. Not wanting to spend another second in this place, she started driving towards the nearest McDonald's.

"We're going to McDonalds and that's final." Penny was still annoyed, especially after witnessing that nurse throwing away the cup like it was nothing, like it hadn't cost Penny.

"Penny."

"And you're paying too." And all because Dr Wackadoodle was too much of a know-it-all and offended the doctor.

"Penny."

"I want a damn Big Mac, nuggets AND an Oreo McFlurry." She could still taste him because of course she didn't have gum or mints in her car. Goddamn it, she hoped the soda would wash the flavor away.

"Pen-"

"I don't care if it's not our regular Friday night food. I just gave your little buddy a handshake and a kiss that it had not earned." Penny motioned with her hand to his crotch but didn't turn to look at him, focusing on the road as she drove.

"Penny!"

"What?!" She finally turned to look at him but Sheldon motioned to the road.

"Please keep your eyes on the road. I don't want to return to the hospital. I simply wished to capture your attention to inform you that due to my routine being already thrown out of the window-figuratively speaking of course-that I'm more than happy to purchase dinner for us from any establishment of your choosing."

"Oh... well, good." Now she felt silly. Finally turning to look at Sheldon, he seemed rather relaxed but still very much his regular Sheldon-self. Of course the relaxed part was probably due to him cumming in her mouth a few minutes ago, but who could really know?

"How did you hurt your hands anyway?"

"Given that Leslie, Leonard and the rest took the day off work in order to drive to the desert. I thought it would be a good opportunity to make use of the lab. Leslie tends to hog lab hours. What I had not counted on, was that Leslie would leave an undergrad student in charge of her current experiment." Sheldon sighed in annoyance. "When I entered the lab, the undergrad student was alone (this already was a huge breach of the safety protocol I should add), and due to some miscalculations on his part, the liquid nitrogen was reacting in a rather volatile manner, but panic made him freeze, seeing as the experiment was quite literally about to explode in his face, I reacted by grabbing the experiment and throwing it into the waste disposal bin." Sheldon grimaced in distaste. "A less than ideal solution, but one that was necessary and effective."

Penny was shocked. "Honey, you saved that kid?"

Sheldon looked uncomfortable. "No, had the experiment exploded then I would have been affected as well. It was an attempt to salvage my own life."

Penny frowned at him but then focused on the road again. "Well, from what you're telling me, it sounds like you did save that kid's life."

"An unintended consequence I assure you." Sheldon suddenly brightened. "This also means that Leslie will have to restart her experiment on top of the official write up for the failure, so I suppose there is a 'bright side' to this incident."

Penny shook her head, Sheldon would never pass up an opportunity to mess with Leslie.

It looked like life was back on her side because not only was the McDonald's drive-thru empty but the ice cream machine was working and she got her McFlurry. On top of her soda she also got a water bottle and discreetly swished the water in her mouth before drinking it, finally washing the taste of cum out of her mouth.

'It wasn't that bad actually.' She shut down that thought before it could get any farther.

Finally, after what it felt like forever they were back at the apartment eating their burgers and fries. Sheldon put Star Trek on the TV and Penny didn't mind one bit. She had a lot of food, she was relaxing in her spot next to Sheldon and it was a Spock episode, which was always great in her book.

Sheldon had to eat his burger and fries with disposable plastic gloves, that of course he already had in stock at the apartment. It was silly looking but it kept the bandages clean and that was all that mattered.

Things were going great, the night might have started a bit rocky, but it was looking up.

Penny was actually looking forward to going to bed early for once. Of course, because this was Penny, life had to throw her another curve ball to deal with.

"Excuse me for a moment." Sheldon stood up and moved towards the bathroom and she didn't think much of it. But a moment later Sheldon returned, blushing heavily and Penny knew that meant trouble. "Penny, excuse me, I require your assistance."

Penny put the palm of her hand over her eyes and squeezed them shut. "Of course you do Honey." She sighed in defeat. "Does it involve me touching your junk again?"

"..." At Sheldon's silence she finally looked up at him. He was fidgeting in place and looking everywhere but at her.

"Sheldon?"

"Ah! No." He closed his eyes and was able to squeeze out, "I just need your assistance unbuckling my belt and the button on my pants. I can take care of the rest."

Penny looked at him for a long moment, Sheldon looked uncomfortable as heck. Like he wanted to be anywhere else but there at that moment. 'Okay Penny, he wouldn't have asked if he truly didn't need help.'

"Okay Sheldon, come here, I can do that for you." She tried to keep her voice neutral as she beckoned him with her hand.

"Can't you stand up to help me?" A pause "Please."

"Look Sheldon, I'm comfy here, just come here and I'll have you out of those pants in no time."

"Perhaps it woul-" Before he could chicken out more, she grabbed him by the belt buckle and pulled him to her until his crotch was in front of her face.

"Honestly Sheldon, I don't know what the big deal is with you coming over here." She grumbled as she started to work on his belt.

"No, Penny, this position is..." He trailed off, and that more than anything else made her stop, the belt was undone and she was starting to work on his pants, but Sheldon never got quiet, he always had something to say.

"This position?" Penny looked up at him and instantly got it. Here she was at eye level with Sheldon Jr, grabbing a hold of his pants, literally. Sheldon was blushing heavily. "Seriously? This is doing it for you?" Penny was more than a little surprised, Sheldon had always been so uninterested in sex, and yet here she was, making him hard just by existing it seemed.

"Penny." He grounded out, still not looking at her. "I'm a healthy adult man, it's only natural that my body has certain reactions to external stimuli."

"Right." She laughed a little because this was just so unexpected, Sheldon had a thing for her face being near his junk.

She finished unbuttoning his pants. Penny kept fighting a smile because yes, this was so very weird, but it was also very fun. This was Sheldon at his most 'regular joe' possible. Feeling playful, Penny said "All ready Honey." and then pantsed him.

Sheldon would be a little embarrassed but that was it, it was meant to be a harmless prank. A little payback for earlier.

Instead, when Penny pulled his pants down, she must have also gotten a hold of his underwear, because next thing she knew, something hard slapped her across the face. Sheldon screeched something at her and she was vaguely aware of him moving towards the bathroom. But she couldn't move.

Sheldon had just cockslapped her.

It was an accident of course, and if you looked at it in a certain way, it had also been her fault. Penny didn't move from her seat as she tried to digest what just had occurred. As she sat there, she could hear Sheldon moving from the bathroom to his bedroom and she squeezed her eyes shut, fearing that she had traumatized Sheldon or damaged their friendship.

Also, why could she still smell his dick?

"Thank you for your assistance Penny. I shall think of an appropriate method to pay you back." Sheldon had returned, he had changed into his pajamas and was looking very interestedly at the ceiling.

"Nonononono, don't worry. This is me paying you back for the time you took me to the ER." Penny was also trying to not look at him. He hadn't brought up what just happened and she sure as hell was not going to be the one to bring it up.

"I see. I suppose that's an acceptable outcome. Goodnight Penny." He never looked at her.

"Goodnight Sheldon." Penny quickly left 4A and entered her own apartment, she made sure to lock the door and deadbolt it.

Penny sat on her couch, looking at nothing.

Suddenly she put her face in her hands and screamed into them, embarrassment finally assaulting her. She could have kept going but the feeling of moisture on her hand and face made her stop to look. Her palm was smeared with liquid, she could also feel her cheek was equally smeared.

Moving to her bathroom, she opened the faucet to clean herself but before she could do it, her reflection greeted her as she looked at the mirror. It wasn't that large of a smear, if it wasn't for the smell you'd never know what it really was.

The tingling between her legs reminded her that it had been a while since she had some.

Quickly shaking her head, Penny went to wash her face and hands but stopped. Sheldon's craziness must be contagious because her thoughts suddenly took a turn, the smell of him made her remember the taste of him, which made her frustrated because she was NOT going to touch herself thinking of Sheldon.

She would not.

"For fuck's sake!" She growled at her reflection.

Quickly undressing herself, Penny turned on her shower and grabbed her pulsating shower head.

Sheldon had to pay for this, somehow, she was going to make sure to return the favor twofold. Her next thoughts were only about what a great investment her shower head had been and if Sheldon had always smelled so good.

Before entering the spray of water, she brought her smeared hand up to her mouth and licked it clean.

------------

"Penny." Sheldon's voice was lower than usual. Authoritative. It made her break into goosebumps, still, she didn't reply to him.

"Penny." She might have imagined it, but she could swear there was a little growl in his voice now. She had to clench her legs together and couldn't stop the shiver that went through her.

"Penny." There was definitely a growl in his voice as he repeated himself. Almost against her will she turned to face him, he stood next to his whiteboard. They were in 4A and the apartment was dark, for some reason she couldn't make out his features. The only thing visible through the darkness were his eyes, heartbreakingly blue, clear and so bright. "You made me repeat myself three times." He told her, the promise of payback in his voice.

Penny shivered again but she smiled at him, defiant. "And what will you do about it?" She was eager and didn't care if he noticed it, she was not going down without a fight.

She saw as his eyes closed and despite not being able to see him, knew that he was shaking his head in disappointment. "Penny, Penny, Penny." Blue and stormy eyes became visible again. "Come here." It was an order.

"Make me." She spit back.

Suddenly, his hand was tangled on the back of her head. Penny gasped, it's not painful but she didn't see him move, her sight was full of those amazing blue eyes and despite being so close, she still can't make out his features.

"I suppose further training is needed." Sheldon said casually. She knew what he wanted, he wanted her to kneel in front of him, wanted her to unbuckle his belt and release her favorite-

A shrill noise interrupted her thought process. Sheldon disappeared. Another hellish sound and she wasn't in the apartment any longer.

She woke up.

Groaning, Penny moved to turn off her alarm and she was startled by the state of her body, her nipples were rock hard and she was definitely going to have to wash this pair of panties.

"Fuck!" She yelled into the empty room. A wet dream.

A fucking wet dream. Her first ever wet dream to be more exact. And it was about Sheldon, usually she forgets her dreams as soon as she wakes up but not this one, oh no, for some reason, she could remember every single detail of this dream.

All of this was Sheldon's fault. She had been feeling weird since she had to act as his temporary semen cup last night. Her brain grounded to a halt and her body flamed with desire.

'Oh nonononononononononono. No. No.' She shook her head.

This was all a bad joke, her body was playing a prank on her. She was never into swallowing or tasting cum, of course she sometimes pretended to enjoy it, but to get horny on the thought of it? Never.

Until now. 'If Sheldon gave me a new fetish I swear I will kick his ass.'

She wants nothing more than to slide her down her hand and into her panties but she has the brunch shift and if she masturbates then she would be late. No time to focus on her weird dream... or her reactions to said weird dream.

As she left her apartment she eyed the door to 4A, chewed on her lip but moved to go to work, it could wait.

---------------

Her entire shift so far was a nightmare. Not because of the people, not because of the lack of tips, not even because she dropped a tray of dirty dishes. No, it was a nightmare because she couldn't stop thinking about Sheldon.

To be a little bit more specific, she couldn't stop thinking about what sex with Sheldon would be like. If that was the only thing on her mind she could ignore it like many of her impossible crushes. Except, it wasn't only that.

She kept thinking about her dream and her reaction this morning. Thought back on her previous dates and... nothing, Kurt, Zach, Tom, Abel. Nothing. Remembering them brought memories of great sex but thinking about how they tasted? Nothing.

Thinking about tasting Sheldon again? It was like a switch was flipped. It was an Instahorny button. Honestly, it was throwing her for a loop.

'Okay Penny, relax. This is just a phase, it will pass.'

Penny tried to convince herself of it, it was all a little fresh on her mind. It would all go away.

Right?. Right.

Her shift took a turn for the worse and all thoughts of Sheldon were slowly replaced by thoughts of murder. How could old ladies be so mean? Why did parents refuse to do any actual parenting on their little crotch goblins? And by the time she had lemonade spilled on her a third time she had all but forgotten about what had been plaguing her waking mind.

She arrived in Los Robles a cranky mess, the walk up the stairs felt more tiring than usual.

"Good evening Penny." Sheldon's voice startled her. She had been looking down at her feet and not paying attention to the rest of the world.

"Hey Sheldon." Penny said slowly, she frowned when seeing the way he was carrying his laundry basket in his arms, cradling it against his chest and it was the glimpse of his bandaged hands that made Penny remember exactly why she had been so frustrated earlier. "Do you need help?"

"Thank you, but I can manage. I'll see you downstairs."

Penny saw him descend down the stairs and she chuckled to herself a little, the others might not give Sheldon enough credit but he could take care of himself when needed. Suddenly feeling better she hurried up the stairs to go pick up her own laundry basket, she needed to wash her current uniform as well.

Five minutes later she was on her way down to the laundry room. Hair in a messy bun and wearing her comfy pajamas, no going out for Penny tonight.

Sheldon was already sorting his clothes into piles, he nodded at her as she started her own sorting next him on the table.

"You know what? I'm too tired for this tonight." She declared to the room and went to chuck everything into a machine.

"Penny. Stop." Sheldon's voice was firm and it made Penny stop in her tracks. The dream from this morning was suddenly present in her mind. Sheldon was frowning at her but he blinked in confusion at seeing a shiver go through her body.

Her body was reacting to him. 'This is bullshit.'

"Sheldon, c'mon. I had a rough day at work." By some miracle her voice is steady. She was trying to stay in control, this was the same old Sheldon after all.

"I see. Allow me to help then, it's part of the Quid Pro Quo between neighbors." Sheldon's face twitches a little and it's cute, he's trying to help her without outright saying it.

"Okay." She agrees easily, because her feet hurt and Sheldon was being sweet in his own way. Penny sat on the table next to her laundry. He went back to his own clothes first and she used the downtime to tell him about her upcoming auditions, which ones she was more excited about and so, Sheldon didn't even pretend to be interested but he still listened to her.

"I do believe your midwestern charm should give you an advantage over the others." Sheldon was done with his clothes and moved to her laundry.

"My midwestern charm?" Penny laughed as she said it, only Sheldon could say something like that with a straight face. "What, something like -Oh for sure I'm gonna eat you up like a hot dish you betcha! Ope, my panties are off dontcha kn-" She couldn't even finish saying it because as soon as she had mentioned her panties Sheldon just happened to grab a pair from the pile and it was all too funny, she laughed and laughed.

She expected to hear a scandalized 'Penny!' from him, or maybe Sheldon dropping her panties like they burned him, but instead Sheldon is quiet. She tried to stop laughing to look at him and her laughter died immediately.

Sheldon was holding her panties and looking at them intently, like they were holding some sort of answer and he was not going to stop until he found it.

"Uh, Sheldon." She hated that her voice was a little husky, she could feel her nipples start to harden against the fabric of her pajamas.

Sheldon turned to look at her, his blue eyes were almost black and Penny found her mouth suddenly dry. Things had been a little weird between them, that was true. She had also never felt this aroused by someone just holding her panties and she didn't know if it was because it was sweet innocent Sheldon holding them or something else entirely.

"Penny." Sheldon's voice sounded exactly as it did in her dream. She knew that she was going to need to change her panties before going to bed tonight.

Penny was having a hard time looking away from Sheldon's eyes. It was as if they were the only people in the world. She didn't know what to say or do, because this was Sheldon. He wasn't supposed to get this sex thing. He was always talking about being a Homo Novus and how he was above baser urges.

But then one of his bandaged hands is on her thigh and Penny starts to suspect that he did get this sex thing after all.

"Penny." His hand moved up a little higher and she slid up closer to him, her legs opened a little wider than they were before. Sheldon squeezed her thigh, his thumb was on the inner side, really close to her aching pussy.

Because they're so close she can see the small grimace of pain that came across his face, his hands must still hurt. But that was all it took, Sheldon focused back on the moment and he was looking at his hand on her thigh trying to figure out how it got there. His eyes moved back up to meet with hers and she could see the panic starting to set there. Maybe because he was afraid she'd be mad, or because he was afraid he did it at all and was afraid of his own reactions.

He was preparing to run.

Before she could fully process the thought she had gotten ahold of his pants. He was wearing his pajama pants instead of his regular khakis. He looked down at her hand and opened his mouth but before he could say anything her hand had already snaked in through the front and was rubbing his length.

Sheldon groaned and his hand went back to her thigh, in this position it was easy to maneuver him around so he was standing in front of her and between her legs. Sheldon was tall so even if he was flushed against the table she could still rub him easily.

"Penny?" This time his voice was hesitant, questioning.

She shushed him and kept rubbing him lightly, used her other hand to slide down his pants and underwear a little, baring his dick out to the world. It looked exactly as she remembered it, and to her eyes it looked as if it wanted to jump at her. A dirty laugh escaped her.

Soon enough Sheldon was leaking and she was able to gather his precum so she had an easier time pumping her hand on his dick, she took her time. Her eyes glanced at the open door. 'Anyone could come in and catch us.'

That thought makes her even wetter.

"Penny." Sheldon groaned her name, it somehow pulled at her insides, the way he was saying her name. She hurried her pace, at times letting her nails graze him lightly and enjoying the way it made him shake.

Sheldon gasped. "Penny!" Maybe he will only be able say her name from now on, the only word left in that big beautiful brain of his. He will beg her to touch him. "Penny!" He repeated with more urgency, he was not going to be able to hold on for much longer.

Her dirty panties were still in his hand, they were cheeky and purple. She took them and put them on the head of his dick as she kept rubbing, Sheldon boggled at her but almost immediately he let go, his eyes closed and the hand on her thigh squeezed almost painfully.

Penny was fascinated by the expression on Sheldon's face, it was only the hot liquid in her hand that made her finally look away and down. The fabric of her panties was covered in Sheldon's cum, some of it had leaked through the fabric and covered her fingers.

Penny stared intently. She shouldn't.

Sheldon looked at her, his eyes dark with lust again. He was panting softly and looking into her eyes.

Penny licked her fingers clean while she looked him in the eye.

-----------------

"No, Sheldon, stop." Penny said in a harsh whisper, her eyes focused on the entrance to the kitchen. Her husband or any of their friends could enter at any moment.

Sheldon refused to listen to her, his hands were on her waist and moving towards her ass, they were rough. Possessive.

"You're mine." He growled into her ear.

Penny shivered in delight, both at the tone and the words. She should push him away, go back to her husband and pretend this never happened. But she didn't want to do that.

"Sheldon, we can't." She tried to push him away again. "This isn't right."

Sheldon let out a sound of frustration. "You're mine." He repeated.

"Shel-"

"No. Say it."

"..."

"Say it." It was an order.

"I'm yours..." Penny said softly. She shouldn't be doing this, she was married, she had made a promise to love and respect her husband. But Sheldon owned her, she couldn't fight against this desire.

"Good girl." Sheldon said and suddenly nothing else mattered. Sheldon had praised her.

She was the one to kiss him first. It was hungry and frantic, her earlier worries of someone entering the kitchen were now forgotten, the only thing that mattered was the man kissing her back.

The hands that were kneading her ass cheeks moved away and she mewled in disappointment, only to gasp and break the kiss. Sheldon had sneaked his hand into her yoga pants and was rubbing her panty-clad pussy, slowly, firmly.

"You're so wet." A pleased sound from the back of his throat made her shiver again.

In fascination she watched as Sheldon brought the hand he was using to rub her, up to his face. His fingers were wet with her. Sheldon looked her in the eye as he licked his fingers.

"Your turn." Sheldon gently but firmly pushed Penny to her knees. She knew what was about to happen. Her mouth watered in anticipation, she couldn't wait to taste him.

Penny woke up.

She stared at the ceiling, trying to gather her bearings. She was so horny that the usual itch between her legs was getting painful.

"What the hell Penny?" She said out loud.

She was freaked out. This was the second time in a row that she had a wet dream about Sheldon and this most recent one was... weird. In the dream, she was married but she was also cheating on her husband with Sheldon?

Her brain was one sick puppy.

Penny closed her eyes in frustration. This was all because of last night, she had given Sheldon a handjob and licked his cum off her fingers and now she was haunted with wet dreams. Trying to not think of what her dream meant, she instead focused on the memory of last night.

After licking her fingers clean, Sheldon had grunted her name and she was pretty sure that he was going to kiss her or at least do something to her, but then the rusty door to the basement creaked and the spell was broken. She tucked his softening dick into his pajama pants and threw the cum filled panties into her laundry basket. There was nothing they could do about the smell but she hoped whoever came in would just assume it was bleach.

Sheldon went back to sorting her clothes and in no time he was putting them into two separate machines. Penny stayed where she was but kept her eyes on the door. Thankfully, no one actually entered the laundry room, they could hear someone open one of the storage cages and after a few minutes the sounds of the rusty door echoed again.

Penny let out a relieved breath. Sheldon did the same and he started talking about how soap became the fastest growing industry in the 1800's, how enzymes changed soap forever and how by 1953 detergents actually surpassed soap sales for the first time ever.

They both pretended nothing had happened.

Penny almost believed it herself, but her dreams would not let her forget.

"Now what?" She said to her room.

Nothing and no one answered her, so she did the only thing that made sense. She touched herself to last night's memory.

Penny knew how to touch herself, knew what made her toes curl and knew how to hurry an orgasm if needed but even after one she wasn't satisfied. No. She needed something more.

----------------

Sheldon panted as he stood under the shower spray. This was the third time he had masturbated to climax and yet, his desire did not decrease in a significant manner.

Last night Penny had touched him until he climaxed in her underwear and hand.

The experience had been both exhilarating and terrifying. The reasons for it to be exhilarating were obvious. Penny was a sexually attractive woman in his eyes. As much as he liked to deny it to others, he rather enjoyed the act of masturbation, having Penny assist him had been an eye opening experience.

In that horrible hospital room he had been unable to focus too much on the present, Penny's warm hand was all he could think about in the moment... until the warmth of her mouth enveloped him.

It was an enlightening experience to say the least.

And then last night she had once again touched him. He was terrified because he wanted to do it again. He was supposed to be above these urges, but one touch from Penny and he was a regular man.

'Biological responses such as these must be investigated further.'

Cleaning himself up, Sheldon prepared as best as he could, his hands were no longer hurting and he could perform regular tasks. 'Such as masturbation.'

It was time to go see Penny.

--------------------

Penny paced in front of her couch, she had been trying to get the courage to go across the hall to 4A and deal with this Sheldon stuff.

She was very nervous and talking out loud to herself helped, The only witnesses were the Care Bears on her shelf.

Pace right. "This is silly, that's what this is. You DON'T have a new fetish."

Pace left. "Thinking about sucking previous boyfriends?" A pause. "See! Nothing."

Pace right. "Thinking about sucking Sheldon?" Penny had to close her eyes, her body betraying her. She stopped pacing.

"Okay, this is just because of what has happened these past few days. Things will go back to normal." Penny said through gritted teeth. It was ridiculous, she couldn't have an instahorny button, it was something that had not ever happened before.

"Yeah, yeah." She took and released a deep breath. "Yeah, things will be fine. Just ignore Sheldon for a week and it'll be as if this never happened."

*Knock, Knock, Knock.* Penny.

Oh no.

*Knock, Knock, Knock.* Penny.

Nonononononononono.

*Knock, Knock, Knock.* Penny.

Fuck!

Penny knew that she shouldn't open the door, it was a bad idea... She opened the damn door.

"Hey Moonpie. Whatup?" She tried to project a confidence she did not feel and hoped that Sheldon couldn't tell how off balance she really was.

"... wonderful grammar as always." He deadpanned.

"What do you want Sheldon?" This was more like it, this banter. It was how it was supposed to be between them.

"May I come in?"

Wordlessly she moved aside and Sheldon moved to stand in front of her couch, in the same place she was pacing a moment ago. Usually Sheldon would have mentioned the state of her apartment, which wasn't dirty, but it wasn't clean to Sheldon's standards, but he did not. Sheldon simply stood there awkwardly.

"So... how are your hands doing?" Penny closed the door and leaned against it, trying to keep some distance between them. Her hands nervously went behind her back to rest in the pockets of her shorts.

"What? Oh. I'm feeling much better. Thank you for asking." Sheldon flexed his fingers to show her and she had to admit they did look much better than on Friday night, the nurse must have been right about the actual severity of the whole thing.

"Good. Good."

"..."

An awkward silence settled between them. Sheldon kept looking at the ceiling and she didn't want to look at him for too long, dreading that her body would suddenly become a ball of horny thoughts.

Sheldon swallowed nervously and opened his mouth but after a moment nothing came out, he simply cleared his throat and shuffled on his feet, his eyes darted to watch her face but soon he was facing the ceiling again.

Penny pressed her lips together and was sure she was making a funny face but she didn't know how to start this conversation. 'Sorry I jerked you off while doing laundry'. Yeah no.

"Uh... So..." She trailed off.

"Ah yes, the purpose of my visit." Sheldon nodded to himself, overall he looked far more composed than she felt. "I wished to discuss recent events with you." He looked nervous but serious.

Penny felt a hole open up in her stomach, this was it, Sheldon was going to tell her he had ruined their friendship or that he was disappointed in her.

"Look Sheldon, I'm sorry."

"I would like to repeat our activity from last night."

It took Penny a moment to process Sheldon's words. Not only because they had spoken at the same time but because she could swear that he said he wanted to do it again.

"Come again?" Penny asked because she wanted to make sure.

"Well, yes. Basically." Sheldon said

Penny couldn't help but laugh. "No, Sweetie, I meant... well, you wanted me to... touch you again?" She hoped that he couldn't hear the eagerness in her voice.

"I... have been feeling something that defies identification. It started that night in the hospital and ever since I have felt this... pull, yes, that works. This pull towards you."

Penny felt her nerves disappear, the hole in her stomach filling with heat. "A pull?"

"I suppose lesser minds might call it 'attraction'," Sheldon made the air quotes while grimacing in distaste. "A base urge tha-"

"You want me to touch your dick." Penny knew she shouldn't be smiling but she couldn't stop herself.

"Penny!..." He didn't say anything else and for her it was as good as if he had screamed yes.

"I need you to say it." Penny took a very deliberate step towards him.

"Seriously Penny. I want to perform an experimen-"

"Say it Sheldon." She knew that he hated being interrupted, but this was groundbreakingly big and she had never been a very patient person.

Sheldon gulped and looked everywhere but at her. "I would like..." He trailed off.

"You would like..." She encouraged. Another step closer to him, one more step and she'd be right in front of him.

"Penny, please. These sensations are very disconcerting to me. I would appreciate a little seriousness." His voice was starting to grow frantic.

"What sensations?" She was right in front of him now.

"I..."

Of course he decided this was the moment to shut up. But Penny was having none of it.

Her hand moved forward and carefully, almost tenderly, cupped his groin. Sheldon finally looked down to make eye contact with her and she simply smiled and raised an eyebrow, a silent question.

"Penny?" His voice was soft.

"Sheldon?" Her voice was husky.

"Please touch me."

Penny only smiled wider as she made him sit on her couch.

Sheldon had been haunting her dreams for the past few days... payback was sweet.

She took a seat on her coffee table and in between Sheldon's legs. As for the man himself, he was basically sprawled on her couch as she played with his dick. His pants pooled around his legs alongside his ridiculous underwear.

"Penny!" He panted.

As soon as Penny had touched his dick, Sheldon had covered his face with his huge hands, she's not sure if it's in embarrassment or pleasure and at this point, she didn't care. Once again he was putty in her hands and it made her feel powerful.

"Do you like this?" Penny said as her hand moved up and down his length, she was doing it slowly and carefully. She wanted to take her time and enjoy this as much as he was, the feeling of his precum covering her fingers, the smell of him, his voice and the sounds coming out of him mixed together to make her horny beyond belief.

"Penny!" Sheldon twisted his face to the left in desperation and that was as much confirmation as she was going to get.

"Tsk tsk, I know for a fact that you know more words, use them." She teased him.

"Please, I-" A gasp and he twisted his face to the other side.

Penny couldn't help herself, Sheldon was too cute, she needed to touch herself. So she did. Her shorts were too tight to be able to sneak a hand through the front so she made do with desperate rubbing against the denim fabric, it wasn't enough friction. The feeling was dull and muted, it was only making her more frustrated but it was as good as she was going to get at the moment.

"Penny! I'm cl-" Sheldon tried to warn her but his words dissolved into a growl.

She was ready however, in fact, she had been waiting for this. She was too horned up to care about it being a new fetish or not. Penny dove in and swallowed the head of his dick.

"What?!" Sheldon asked before grunting, she didn't look up to see if he was looking at her or if his reaction was due to the feeling of her mouth on him.

As the first rope hit the roof of her mouth, Penny shivered in delight. A tiny orgasm shaking her core. 'Fuck! It IS a new fetish.' She thought in despair and delight. She kept her mouth on him and swallowed the salty liquid until he started to soften a little.

She had her hair in a messy bun, but a few stray strands had escaped. She let go of his dick and combed her hair back into place as best as she could.

"Thank you." Sheldon said breathlessly, he had a look of wonder on his face and Penny couldn't help but laugh.

"You're welcome Sweetie." Her voice was sweet and happy.

They said nothing else and thankfully the air between them remained the same, no real awkwardness or regret. Penny was trying to think of a way to ask Sheldon if he would like to do this again in the future when a knock at her door startled them both.

"Penny? Do you know where Sheldon is?" Leonard's voice signaled that fun times were over.

Penny patted Sheldon's knee and pointed a thumb at the door. "That's for you Sweetie. I'll go wash my teeth and I'll see you for dinner?"

Sheldon nodded. "I'll order your usual."

"Thanks."

Penny went to her bedroom and listened as Sheldon answered her door, he said something to Leonard and then her front door closed, the voices growing faint.

She sighed in disappointment, Leonard had come back at the worst time. Now her fingers would have to do.

Her shorts hit her bedroom floor.

Later as she had dinner, she realized that she totally forgot to wash her teeth. Furthermore, any lingering fear that Penny might have had about things between her and Sheldon getting weird was squashed down during that same dinner.

Sheldon treated her the same as always, he sniped at her, got annoyed, corrected her and otherwise behaved normally which strangely enough was comforting. Just because they had added a sexual part to their friendship it didn't mean that they had changed.

She wasn't suddenly in love with him and he wasn't fawning over her like so many guys in the past had done, expecting that doing so would make her more likely to play with their funny bits.

It was nice.

Once, before she started dating Kurt, some jock thought that he could sweet talk her into bed by saying that they needed no labels in their relationship... and here was Penny now, happily throwing the labels out the window. Maybe it was easy because it was Sheldon.

That night, there were no more wet dreams, which Penny took to mean she was doing something right.

--------------------

Penny has been afraid that she would not get her turn until laundry night but Sheldon pulled her aside right before dinner and thankfully no one really cared. Leslie shot them a weird look but she said nothing.

"What do you need, Moonpie?" She asked once they were alone in her apartment.

"Please correct me if I'm wrong but from what I have read this type of relationship should be equitable." At her blank look he clarified. "Quid pro quo? I should return the favor?"

In a moment she got it. "Oh! You want to eat me out?" She was surprised.

"I was wondering if we could start with touching first." He looked nervous, like she would get mad.

"Sweetie, honestly I'm happy you want to be an active participant so I'm more than happy to go at the pace you set. Come here." She switched places with him, leaned against her front door and opened her arms in what she hoped was a welcoming manner. "I'm yours."

Sheldon shuffled nervously on his feet while he looked over her shoulder and only glanced at her body from time to time. She was wearing pajama pants and a cute cami, not exactly her sexiest outfit but this whole thing was unplanned so it would have to do.

"I'm waiting Hon." She teased him and had to laugh softly at the way he jumped at her voice. "Okay, let's start with something easier." She grabbed his now healed hand and put it on her chest.

Sheldon opened his mouth in amazement, at least she hoped it was amazement. His hand moved hesitantly and he gave her left breast an experimental squeeze. She would have moaned but honestly she was too caught up on how cute this whole thing was, not even as a teen she had been touched with so much care.

"Here." She said and moved his hand under her shirt and slid her bra up.

Sheldon gasped and shot her a frantic look, he looked afraid, as if he was doing something naughty. Another laugh escaped her, she put her hand on top of his and showed him how hard to squeeze, he was too careful for her liking. "Like this Honey, careful with the nipple."

"Penny!"

"That surprises you? Not the fact that you have a handful of my tits?"

"Penny!"

"Shut up and knead." She ended with a moan, he was learning fast and she didn't want him to stop.

"Should I do something with my other hand?" The honest question caught her off guard. She stared at the hand and made an instant decision.

"Rub up and down." She grabbed his hand and cupped it over her groin.

"Penny!" It looked like her name was his new favorite word. And despite his small protest he actually started rubbing her.

It was awkward, he was obviously inexperienced but she guided him and in moments he had the right rhythm going. His long fingers made her shudder as he played with her lips over her pajama pants.

Penny pulled him close to her and as she gasped and moaned into the crook of his neck her orgasm hit her hard. She has to hold onto him or risk falling over.

"Wow." And she meant it. "Oh crap." Her pajama pants were now sporting a very obvious wet spot. Hopefully no one would notice that she changed pants.

-----------------------

It was amazing to think how often you can sneak in a quick blowjob or fingering between Sheldon's busy schedule, but you could. Penny now had a copy of the actual schedule in her email, they synced their calendars and everything... Honestly that was more commitment than she ever had after Kurt. Leonard was included in that list.

20:00 Laundry night starts.

20:25 to 21:15 Sheldon and Penny time.

21:15 to 21:30 Fold clothes.

And that was it, even if someone caught a glimpse of their calendar no one would be able to tell at a glance what was going on between them.

----------------------

One of Penny's audition's messed up with their weekly schedule and then Sheldon has to give a rare class which meant that they didn't get any alone time until the boys' scheduled dinner at The Factory.

They had 15 minutes, any more than that and the rest of the group would be suspicious.

The supplies closet would have to do since Sheldon didn't use public restrooms, not even to get a blowjob. Thankfully, Bernadette, a cute new waitress, was spotting for them and pretending to arrange cutlery at the entrance of the hall leading to the room. She'd let them know if anyone was coming... Penny wants to make a joke but she's too horny for it.

Things then got weird.

Penny was licking Sheldon's dick in that way she knew he loved when the door to the closet opened and almost gave them a heart attack. Penny could swear that she could feel Sheldon's rapid heart beating through his dick.

It was Bernadette. She had a look of intense curiosity on her face and before Sheldon or Penny could ask the obvious question, Bernadette herself told them the reason she was there.

"Do you guys mind if I join?" Bernadette's mousey voice didn't fit the situation at all.

"Uhhh..." Penny glanced up at Sheldon but the man was frozen in place. Penny turned to look at Bernadette again expecting her to be by the door still, but her fellow blonde had closed the door and was kneeling right next to her and looked intently at the dick in Penny's hands.

Penny was no prude, she liked sex and made no secret about it.

Having said that, she had never actually been in a threesome. Kurt had insisted but it wasn't for Penny, she didn't want to share her boyfriend. But Sheldon wasn't her boyfriend.

"What do you say Sweetie?" She asked Sheldon.

"..." He looked down at her and then looked at Bernadette who was still looking at his dick. Sheldon's dick jumped in her hand which was answer enough for her.

"Go at it." Penny smiled at Bernadette.

Right before standing up she saw that Bernadette was very enthusiastic but not very experienced in her blowjob. She kept bumping her teeth on Sheldon's dick and it took her a moment to find the right rhythm.

"Uh uh, I'm still here Moonpie." Penny said and guided his hand under her skirt of her uniform.

Thankfully he got the hint and started rubbing her over her panties in that way that made her knees wobble. Mr Eidetic Memory was not lying about remembering everything.

But she was still feeling frustrated, these couple of weeks with Sheldon had been great and she had found an... appreciation, yeah, that worked. She had found an appreciation for blowjobs that she didn't have with her previous partners.

Sheldon kissing her interrupted any further musings. They had never kissed before. Some sort of unspoken rule that he had now broke. Kissing was intimate in a different way. Kissing was for feelings. Kissing was for couples. Kissing was a no-no. Kissing could only lead to trouble.

Penny kissed him back.

Sheldon only got more frantic, in both the kissing and in fingering her. Way too soon for her liking he had her at the edge of an orgasm and she shuddered in anticipation. But Sheldon's fingers and kiss stopped, a small grunt burst out of him and a panicked noise from Bernadette meant that Sheldon had cum first.

Penny wanted to laugh but stopped when she turned to look at the other girl. Bernadette was doing her best to swallow but she was struggling and some slipped from the corner of her mouth.

It should have made for a funny image, but she didn't feel like laughing anymore.

"Penny?" Sheldon asked.

She turned to look at him and he frowned at her and then blinked in confusion. He tilted his head to one side and watched her closely.

"Are you okay?" Even his voice sounded concerned now.

"Yeahyeahyeahyeah. Let me help Bernadette up, you should go back to the guys before they get suspicious." Penny basically shoved him out the door and refused to look him in the eye.

She helped Bernadette up and made sure that both their uniforms were clean and in place. Bernadette kept thanking her for letting her join but Penny only half listened, she nodded when needed but otherwise kept to herself for the rest of her shift.

Penny kept a frozen smile on her face until she got in her car.

"FUCK!" She slammed her hands against the steering wheel, over and over until her hands hurt.

Hot fat tears spilled from her eyes and she angrily swiped at her face using the back of her hands.

Seeing Bernadette at Sheldon's feet and with his cum running down her mouth made Penny irrationally angry, she had wanted nothing more than to slap Bernadette and fuck Sheldon silly.

"FUCK!" She slammed the wheel again.

She was screwed.

What was the worst moment to realize you have feelings for someone? Penny mused on the drive home.

When he was getting head by another girl. She decided this was the answer as she parked into Los Robles.

Penny still had a hard time coming to terms with this entire thing, they were just having fun. When did feelings get added into the mix? Sure, she loves Sheldon, he had a way of worming into your heart and she liked those moments of the real Sheldon that he only seemed to share with her.

And yeah, they didn't have sex or even kissed until tonight but Penny felt a closeness to Sheldon now that made her weak in the knees.

"Fuck." She said softly and let her head rest against the steering wheel. She had just arrived at Los Robles but didn't feel like going up the stairs just yet. "Fuck..."

It was supposed to be a fun thing, they had successfully fooled around for weeks and it hadn't been awkward but now she would not be able to face Sheldon.

Sheldon... it would destroy her if he no longer wanted to be friends after tonight.

Penny scratched at her head in frustration.

She wanted to kiss Sheldon again. That was the simplest truth she could face head on at the moment. She just wanted to kiss him again. Her fingers rubbed at her lips absentmindedly.

"Fuck." Penny whispered softly.

She took a deep breath, held it for a long moment and then finally let it go. She now felt ready to go up to her apartment. She made sure to lock her car, grabbed her mail and started the long climb up the stairs.

She didn't have the mental endurance to deal with this tonight, she'd just take a warm relaxing bath and go to sleep. She didn't have a shift tomorrow nor any plans and it was Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday so she'd be able to talk to Sheldon without the other guys there.

Arriving at the fourth landing she eyed the door to 4A, there was only silence behind the door and a part of her hoped and dreaded that Sheldon would open the door. But after a moment nothing happened and the hallway remained silent.

Dragging her feet to her own door she fumbled with the keys for a moment before finding the correct one and opening her door, her eyes never leaving the floor.

"Hello Penny."

Startled, she dropped her keys and mail. Sheldon was sitting on her couch, he had been waiting for her. Penny quickly squashed the fluttery feeling in her belly.

"Sheldon! Oh, hi, hello." She said quickly after picking everything up and throwing it on the coffee table. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it.

Sheldon stood up and faced her. He was nervous and kept touching his body, his hands would rub at his sides before trying to grasp at a bag strap that was not there before moving to rest behind him but after a moment he would scratch at his earlobe with one hand. He was avoiding meeting her eyes.

"I would like to discuss tonight's events with you." Sheldon said firmly despite his nervous appearance.

"Honey... can it wait? I'm dead tired." It was true, but Penny also wanted to avoid having Sheldon break their friendship tonight. She wanted to go to bed and be able to dream that things were okay between them.

"I'm afraid not." Sheldon finally looked at her. "Penny. After much consideration, I think that we should stop our current relationship."

Oh...

Penny nodded, she couldn't talk, her throat had closed and she needed to close her eyes to stop the tears from flooding her apartment. The door at her back was the only thing holding her up.

"I see, I'm glad that you agree." Sheldon said and the relief in his voice could not be mistaken for anything else. "While physically I enjoyed the act, I have to admit that emotionally and even perhaps mentally, I found myself rejecting it. I only enjoy it when it's with you."

Penny had to open her eyes at that, she needed to look at him. He was a blurry silhouette so she swiped at her eyes until she could see him clearly, her emotions no longer threatening to overwhelm her and something very close to relief now calmed her heart.

"What? Do you?..." She took a moment to collect herself. One of her hands came up as if to ward him off. "You... still want to do it with me?" Not even Sheldon would be able to miss the hope in her voice.

Sheldon said nothing but he nodded and Penny's knees almost gave out under her.

"Good." She said after a moment and she hated how it sounded like she was about to cry. She was, but she hated how it sounded. "Good." She repeated, a little more confidently.

"Penny... excuse me if I'm mistaken, but after your coworker joined us and before you shoved me outside, I believe that you were experiencing distress." Sheldon frowned in confusion. "I do not enjoy seeing you like that." He finished slowly.

Penny could lie to him, misdirect him, avoid the subject, evade this entire thing. Perhaps she should.

"I hated seeing you with someone else." She told him the truth. "Hated it." Her voice is fierce.

"... I believe that I would have experienced a similar reaction, had our roles been reversed..." Sheldon said after a moment. "Perhaps we should alter our current social and interpersonal paradigm."

Penny was getting tired of leaning against the door so with a grunt she pushed off herself, took a couple of steps and collapsed on her couch. "What kind of alteration?" She said after making herself comfortable.

Sheldon gingerly sat next to her, took a long moment to adjust himself and then turned to look at her sprawled form. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

Penny gaped at him before bursting out laughing. She moved so her head rested against Sheldon's leg and she was lying on the couch, she chuckled in delight. "I would like that Honey. But I think we're way past a first date."

"Oh... Then I'm afraid that I don't know what is the correct protocol to follow in this situation."

"Me neither to be honest. But, we can figure it out."

"Good."

Penny felt really sleepy, all of this emotional whiplash exhausted her, but she was on her couch and Sheldon was with her. The rest could wait.

*Knock, knock* "Guys, are you coming over? We made popcorn and Leslie brought her Red Dwarf Blu-rays." Leonard said excitedly.

Or not.

--------------------------------

Leslie watched as Dr Dumbass pulled Barbie back to her apartment. She knew that he hated her and wouldn't put it past him to try some stupid plan to make her and Leonard break up. She needed to keep an eye on him.

Almost forty minutes later the suspicious duo were back and Leslie almost dismissed them out of hand because they were acting normal, or as normal as they could be.

Maybe she was just too paranoid.

She almost believed that before she noticed that Barbie was wearing a different set of pants than the ones she had before leaving earlier.

Huh.

From that moment on, she kept a close eye on them and to their credit, they hid it well. But she knew that the smile Barbie had tattooed on her face was not caused because Dr Dumbass decided to use a new detergent.

It all came to a head the next month. She had joined the guys for dinner at The Cheesecake Factory because she sure as hell was not missing any opportunities to observe Barbie and the Beast.

Right after they ordered their food, Dr Dumbass excused himself and disappeared for around fifteen minutes and she knew something had happened. Barbie had a fake smile on her face and another blonde waitress kept stealing glances at Dr Dumbass while blushing.

Interesting.

Later that same night there were no signs of either of her subjects of interest. Sheldon was missing as soon as they got back to Los Robles and no one else seemed to care.

Almost like a puppy Howard glanced at the apartment and declared "Penny just got home."

"Dude, I still don't know how you do that." Even Raj looked put out, and drunk.

She ignored the bantering and instead turned to her boyfriend, he didn't look particularly excited about the news that Barbie was home but if she was honest with herself, this was a point of contention for her. Leslie still had some doubts about what Leonard felt for Barbie and if it was true that he was over her.

"Where's Sheldon?" Howard asked.

"Oh, I think I saw him leave earlier, maybe he's over at Barbie's?" She offered innocently.

"I don't know how I could miss him, let me go get them." Leonard offered and left.

Leslie leaned back in her chair and debated whether to say anything or not. In the end her insecurities won over and she made the choice to drop the bomb right in the middle of this evening.

"Okay, Sheldon was with her but Penny was still in work clothes so she asked for a couple of minutes before joining us." Leonard said happily and everyone else nodded and waited.

Leslie stood up and grabbed Leonard by the shoulders. "So... since when are Barbie and Dr Dumbass bumping uglies?"

The three guys began laughing immediately. Howard even had tears in his eyes.

"I'm serious." Leslie searched for Leonard's eyes, she wanted to see his reaction.

"C'mon Leslie, I know you don't like them but you don't have to make stuff up." Leonard tried to move away and into the kitchen but she wouldn't let him.

"Leonard." Her voice was hard. "I'm serious."

Leonard looked at her face and his face slowly shifted from amused to confused. "Wait, what?"

"Think very carefully about what your next reaction will be. I am not playing second fiddle to anyone. Much less to a Barbie. So, do we have an issue in our hands?" Leslie didn't like to play games when it came to relationships.

"I.. I don't get it." To his credit he didn't look away from her eyes.

"If you're not over your ex-girlfriend then I need to know now." Despite not wanting to, her voice broke a little. "Leonard. I like you, a lot. Am I a rebound or not? Do you give a shit about me and my feelings?"

Leonard frowned and grabbed her face. "I like you a lot as well. I don't know if I'm totally over Penny but I do know that I'm not playing with you. I WANT to be with you."

"So you're not going to freak out when you find out that Dr Dumbass and Barbie are fucking each other?" She needed to know.

"I think that you're wrong but I swear that if we find this out I won't freak out and I'll go as far as to give them my blessing." Leonard teased her and rubbed a thumb over her cheek.

"If you freak out I'll go tell the Geology department your real dick size." She swiped at her eyes.

Leonard laughed before stopping. "Wait, you're joking right?" Leslie moved towards the kitchen. "You're joking right?"

"I told you that you shouldn't have bragged about that." Howard pitched in.

The guys kept bantering until the door to the apartment opened up and the focus of her worries came strolling in wearing cute pajamas, closely followed by Tall and Stupid.

Leslie shook her head as the three guys suddenly got quiet and stared at the newcomers with wide eyes.

"What?" Barbie asked and looked at herself, as if searching for something wrong with her outfit.

"Ignore them, they're just wrapping their heads around the fact that you and Dr Dumbass over there are fucking each other." Leslie went for the jugular.

-----------------------

Penny froze at Leslie's words. No way.

"We haven't had intercourse you crude woman. I just invited Penny on a date." And there it was, her knight in shining armor.

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwhat?" Howard gaped at Sheldon before turning that stupid look on her.

"Eep!" Raj made a noise but otherwise said nothing else.

Already dreading it she turned to look at Leonard, only to find him smiling beatifically at her, which was creepy as hell.

Penny sighed in defeat, well the cat was out of the bag. "Yeah he did ask me out and I said yes. Now someone give me a bowl of popcorn."

"Leonard, are you well?" Sheldon asked the frozen Leonard.

"Oh yeah!" Leonard's voice was high and excited. "I'm just so happy for you guys! Congratulations!"

"Okay," She said slowly. "That's not weird at all."

"I'm thrilled!" Leonard insisted.

"Yeah, he's thrilled." Leslie took a seat next to Leonard and didn't move her eyes away from his face.

Penny debated whether to say something or not and in the end her desire to not be involved won over. "Works for me." She shrugged. "C'mon Moonpie, it's out in the open so we can hold hands."

"But my hand gets clammy."

"Tough."

Fin.

------

Author Note: If after reading this you're getting a sense of deja vu, it's not you. My story was stolen by another user and uploaded here, but it's a version that is much worse and edited down to try and avoid detection. So I am giving you the full story as it was intended to be read.