Graveyard Harem Ch. 12

**Author's note: Time to climb off that cliff you've been hanging from. Chapter 13 is also available, links in bio. I've dropped the first chapter of my co-op work with k_east's Echoes of Power story and chapter 2 will be dropping soon. Time to meet (knowingly at least) the next supernatural baddy of the story!**

"I got bit! By one of the zombies, not one of those dumb elf-dogs!" Dan fell back onto his ass, "I don't want to turn into one of those things."

The Caretaker smiled, "Well, why would you?"

Dan blinked, "What?"

"Why would you turn into a zombie? Also, what do you mean 'elf-dog'?" Dan's boss asked him patiently. His demeanor and tone were beginning to calm Dan's panicked emotions.

"I'm not gonna turn into one of those things?" Dan looked up, his breathing starting to slow.

"Well, I can't say never, but if you were to walk into the road and get hit by a car right now, there's no guarantee you'd get up again, bite or no." The Caretaker explained, as Dan slumped against the wall of the guard shack in relief and let his head loll back to thump against the wood. "Now, a bite's real nasty so we should clean that up. I'll be right back."

Dan closed his eyes and breathed in his new lease on life.

"Alright, let's get you taken care of." The Caretaker returned a few minutes later carrying a sizeable tacklebox with a spray-painted red cross on its sides. "Now, tell me about this 'elf dog' you mentioned earlier."

"Uh, big, looks like a Doberman with extra bits, some bioluminescence, quiet, strong. Their barks are all weird sounding. Iron really hurts 'em but they'll die if you just put enough hurt and lead into them." Dan started talking as the Caretaker wiped the bite site clean and then poured hydrogen peroxide on the bites. It foamed and bubbled as the old man wiped it away.

"Why elf, though?" The Caretaker poured more of the cleaner on the bite wound and less bubbles formed this time.

"Well, the lady who whistled to call them was an elf. Tall, wearing all black, knife-eared bitch. She spoke all old-timey, thee's and thou's, dar'st. Called me a monkey." Dan chuckled, "She took shotgun rounds like a champ, too."

The Caretaker stopped working to raise an eyebrow, "You shot her? And you're alive?"

"You sound surprised, boss." Dan groaned as the Caretaker began to tightly wrap the bite in a bandage. "Yea, she went for me first, but I was expecting her to make a move. I had it pointed in her general direction the whole time we were talking, so not a huge testament of skill."

"For the record, I'm impressed, not surprised. Knew you were tough and competent, and putting a round in her is right up your alley. The fact you lived the night after that is a true testament to you, son." The old man brought out foam lined metal strips and bent and shaped them to conform to his leg before binding them in a splint.

"So, yea uh, my shotgun and handgun are somewhere on the lawn in between the tombstones. I was empty after killing the second elf-dog-"

"Sidhe hound," The Caretaker interrupted while popping a couple of pills into his hand, "There are a number of fae dogs, but the kind you described are reserved for the Sidhe, the noble class. Take these: antibiotics and pain killers."

Dan complied and managed to choke down the pills dry, regretted his decision, and fished a bottle of water out of his duffle bag. He took a long drink of water.

"Anyway, I killed the second elf-dog in the yard, first one and a zombie in the equipment shed. Before you say anything, forgot my suit and ran home to get it. I had to pull a woman out of the graveyard and once I closed the main gates I forgot to lock up the equipment shed." Dan's memory was kicking in now that the existential threat was past. He winced, "I also left the cart out because I hopped out to drag the woman. Man, I'm sorry boss, I was not batting a thousand last night."

"Well, maybe you missed some singles and doubles, but you knocked it out of the park when the bases were loaded, to continue the metaphor. You drink that, I'll go get your kit." The Caretaker stood and headed out into the daylight, leaving Dan alone.  

Dan remembered he had a phone and found it on the floor; it hadn't cracked but the battery had died. Dan rolled his eyes and jammed it into his pocket. He sipped from the water bottle idly as he waited.

"Alright, here we are. Your firearms, which you didn't tell me you were bringing." The old man passed the guns to Dan.

"Well, seems like I need them, boss." Dan countered as he slid them into his duffle bag. "You want me to go without from now on?"

"Dan, take this as your official notice: You arm yourself as you see fit for your night shift duties." The Caretaker smiled and then reached down to pull Dan to his feet. "There we go, on your feet. How's the leg? You can put weight on it?"

Dan tested his leg and only winced slightly from the pain.

"Yea, looks like it missed the important shit. I killed it pretty quick. I'll stay off my feet today and tomorrow."

The Caretaker scoffed, "You stay off your feet as long as you need, my boy. Don't come out and get hurt trying to push through an injury."

"Well, I appreciate that, but I need the-"

"Don't say shit about hours to me right now. Listen Dan, you're above that shit now. Working night shifts is huge. We can nickel and dime over hourly wages and the like if you tell me you're done pulling night shifts but if you're still game to help out late, you'll get your forty hours. Speaking of pay..." Dan's employer reached past him and then tucked the thick envelope Dan had forgotten into his breast pocket, "Don't forget your hazard pay son."

"Thanks, boss. I appreciate it. You need me to help clean up my mess?" Dan asked.

His boss shook his head, "No, you'll just slow me down, I got this. You take care."

Dan sucked in air through his teeth as he took a step down, leading with his injured foot, but managed to limp down safely.

"Buy your pretty girls something nice, I insist! I'll see you when you're healthy!"

Dan turned and waved weakly before hobbling over to his car. He stowed his gear and gingerly lowered himself into the seat. He backed out to turn and honked as the Caretaker waved and drove out of the gates.

Dan plugged his phone in and turned it on as soon as it let him. He ignored the pile of unread messages to break two rules he had for himself, but it had been a night that merited extreme measures. First, he was using his phone while driving for something other than a call, and second, he opened a food delivery app. He arranged for breakfast to arrive at his door; he didn't want to stop, and he didn't want to cook for himself.

Dan barely registered parking, grabbing his bag, and hauling himself up to his condo. He limped through the door and dropped his duffle bag straight onto the floor. He stripped as he walked until he was down to just his pants and dropped into his recliner, extending the leg rest.

"Oh, that was a mistake Dan. You have to get up for food," He admonished himself quietly.

The universe, always the undisputed master of comedic timing, chose that moment for the doorbell to wring. Dan groaned in frustration. Using his legs to close the extended rest, he then stood and made his way to the door. He and his dasher recoiled in mutual surprise to the other as the latter was taking a picture of the food.

Dan waited patiently for the reedy-looking man to look up.

"All yours, enjoy," he said with a nod.

Dan nodded back, "Yea, I plan on it. Thanks. Drive save, buddy."

"You, too, uh, I mean, thanks." The driver responded with an awkward laugh. Dan returned it before picking up his food and closing the door.

Dan returned to his recliner, grabbing water along the way. He limped occasionally, surprised that the pain of the bite was a greater annoyance than any internal damage. Dan devoured the food: hamburger steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, buttermilk pancakes, cornbread muffins, & slices of bacon. He let out a contented belch and patted his stomach.

Dan didn't even budge; he yawned, closed his eyes, and was out like a light.

*****

The Caretaker had a brisk morning playing clean up after sending Dan home. Empty shotgun shells & spent.45 casings told the tale of his running battle through the darkness. The zombies were gone, reabsorbed by the patient earth of the graveyard, but the Sidhe hound corpses remained, and the old man let out a low whistle as he took in Dan's handiwork.

"Way to go, son." He chuckled aloud as he waved a hand and the earth sucked the corpse into its embrace. The Caretaker would leave the other in the locked equipment shed and deal with it similarly after dark.

After a bit more cleaning, the Caretaker approached Alice's black headstone and noticed the lighter laying open atop it. He smiled and closed it before sliding it into his suit's vest pocket. He was impressed that even in the storm, Dan had brought fire to Alice's troubled spirit. Not for the first or last time, he pondered the irony that the very thing that tormented the poor woman was also what freed her from that same torture.

The Caretaker sniffed and turned his head.

"Oh... that's not right." He thought aloud, as he began walking with speed through the rows of dead.

He pushed past a row on the other side of the graveyard. He could see the Caretaker's house and the small office less than fifty yards away, if he was looking. His attention, however, was focused on the body lying beside the large marble sarcophagus-like tomb covering. It had been a college aged young man in life, wearing a light blue polo, khaki pants, and white sneakers. His sandy blonde hair was cut close but was longer in the front over his open unseeing eyes. The old man squatted at the body's side to give it a closer inspection. The dead boy's collar was stained a darker color, and a closer inspection confirmed the Caretaker's instinct: two small, but noticeable, puncture marks in the side of the throat.

"Oh, poor boy, I'm sorry you had to wind up like this. I'll see you're taken care of." The Caretaker promised, as he reached a hand up to close the boy's eyes and then with a wave the body was gently subsumed into the earth. It was a temporary solution until he could see to him properly.

The Caretaker stood up straight, feeling his age and the weight of his responsibilities in his bones. His hands went to his lower back for a little extra support as he leaned backward a bit for a stretch. He took a moment to contemplate everything he had taken in since coming to relieve Dan from his watch.

A Sidhe noble lady hunting on this side of the Veil and bringing Sidhe hounds to do it. A vampire predated some young frat kid and apparently escaped Dan's notice. Well, the boy had essentially been in a running gun battle all night, and vampires were adept at stealth if they applied themselves, so he could cut him a break on that account. Still it was an anomalous evening for sure.

A sense of rightness suffused the Caretaker; the Graveyard was in a state fit for visitors, which was good as he felt the first presence break the threshold to pay their respects. He approached the golf cart left out at the end of the row and climbed in to move it back to the equipment shed.

The Caretaker's hand stopped before turning the key. He looked up and turned his head towards where he had discovered the boy's body. He would have been about thirty yards away, maybe. Hell, the boy might have even been visible from here, with his feet poking out from behind the stonework he had been lying beside.

Dan must not have seen him or he would have mentioned a corpse, of course, it could have slipped his mind with everything else going on. Dan had been a bit out of sorts when the Caretaker had found him. But if that was the case, why had he parked the golf cart here and left it, if he hadn't seen the boy's corpse? A sneaking suspicion began to rise in the Caretaker's consciousness.

"I think I need to give the boy a call later on when he's had a chance to wake up." The Caretaker frowned, his reluctance to disturb Dan's rest winning out over his curiosity, as he turned the key to start the golf cart.

*****

Dan's rest was disturbed as the doorbell rang again. He sat up slightly, blinking his bleary eyes, which he then rubbed with his thumb and forefinger. Dan was just on the cusp of writing off the doorbell as a dream half-remembered when it rang again.

"Alright, I hear you! Give me a minute, please!" Dan shouted.

Dan padded to the door and, for once, didn't grab his gun for an unexpected visitor. He was so tired and drained after the night that it just didn't occur to him. His normal paranoia and caution were buried under fatigue and a consciousness that had yet to fully rouse.

Dan opened the door wide, blinking and recoiling at the light of day.

"Ah, fuck," He swore as he kept trying to blink away the purple and green afterimages, "Can I help you?"

"Yes," A female voice with a vaguely foreign accent answered him, "I wanted to come by and extend my thanks to you for last night."

Dan's brain roused at that and, though it was still sluggish, now the neurons were firing. He finally managed to get a good look at his visitor. It was the woman from the graveyard last night. He frowned.

"Thank me for what?" Dan asked her, trying to figure out her game.

"Well, you told me it wasn't safe and dragged me away, and then not too long after I heard all manner of gunfire from that direction. So, I wanted to come by and express my thanks for your gallantry." She explained, as if it were the most natural and everyday occurrence to track a perfect stranger down to say thank you.

"Ok, well, I appreciate that, and you're welcome. How did you find out where I live?" Dan asked with an uncertain tone.

"A few weeks ago, you were celebrating your recent employment in a bar, you were sitting at the corner. I was out with a friend, but I bought you a drink. I recognized you last night, that's why I was confused at first. So, I went to the bar and talked to the bartender. I explained what happened, and that I wanted to say thank you, and he gave me your address." She smiled, and man, she was pretty.

"Well, I'll need to have a talk with Rog. I appreciate the sentiment and you going to the trouble of coming out here and finding me, but I'm not comfortable with him just giving out my address. So, thanks for coming by and you're welcome for last night, have a good day." Dan started to close the door, but she spoke quickly.

"I was really rather hoping I could come in and thank you properly." There was no cheek to her tone, no playfulness; she sounded earnest and serious.

Dan shook his head as if to dispel a hallucination, "I'm sorry, how do you mean?"

"Well, I suppose that I could thank you right here, but I don't think your neighbors or decency laws would much care for that." She replied quickly in that same serious tone.

The absurdity of her statement and the sheer earnestness with which it was delivered was too much for Dan, who laughed, "Ok, I don't mean the where, I mean, spell it out for me, how exactly are you intending to thank me?"

"How else should a woman thank her protector and perhaps even her savior from harm, but with her body?"

They stood there unmoving, silent, looking at each other.

"Pfft, you're serious, aren't you?" Dan asked incredulously.

"Why wouldn't I be? Many women have a fantasy where they are saved from harm by a charming hero and express their thanks with their passion, I just have an opportunity to fulfill that fantasy." She smiled again and battered her eyelashes a single time.

Dan's instinct was telling her she wanted him. And honestly, a lot stranger things happened to Dan recently. He shrugged.

"Alright, come on in." Dan stood to the side to let her in.

She had her hands held behind her back as she crossed his threshold, she looked around almost like you might see someone examining exhibits at a museum or art gallery. It made Dan really glad he had kept the place up after Anjelika had helped him clean it. She stopped to take in the trail of clothes leading to his recliner and turned her head to arch an eyebrow at him.

"I was really tired when I got home, you're lucky I'm wearing pants." Dan smiled, trying to project a cocky confidence.

"Am I?" She laid the sensuality on heavily as she continued, "It may have made my purpose a lot easier if you hadn't been. Maybe you would have liked your neighbors to see you receive my thanks. They could see your power. And many women want what other women have. Wouldn't they wonder what it would be like to have a man worth displaying oneself to the public for?"

Dan beckoned her with a single finger and she obliged. His left hand slid around her waist, and he tucked his fingers into the waistline of her jeans at her back. His right hand cupped her chin and tilted it up to better look into her eyes. She had brilliant, blue eyes.

"So, you had something you wanted to tell me?" Dan asked.

She smiled in return, "Yes. Thank you for saving me."

"You know, I know we're eager for the good part, but I don't feel right kissing a girl whose name I don't even know. I'm Dan by the way." He introduced himself with what he hoped was his best roguish smile, and hoped it came off more Han Solo than Patrick Bateman.

"Lucy, pleased to formally meet you, Dan." She smiled back with hunger in her eyes.

Dan pulled her in to kiss her. Her lips were sweet; it vaguely reminded him of plums. Apparently they both enjoyed the taste of the other, as they kissed with a hunger for more. Only the wet smacking of their lips broke the silence of Dan's condo.

Dan felt a sharp poking sensation and tasted iron.

"Ah, shit." He swore as his hand went to his mouth.

"I'm sorry, here, let me kiss it better." Lucy gently kissed him before sucking his bottom lip into her mouth, he felt her tongue swipe across its surface gently tickling it before allowing it to pop free.

Dan watched her pupils dilate as she began panting.

"Cos'è questo?" Lucy murmured, before grabbing Dan's shoulders, "Take me to bed, hero."

Dan didn't answer with words, he simply swept her up into a princess carry which led to a delightful, trilling laugh. He dropped her onto the bed before undoing his pants and stepping out of one leg. He teetered as he caught his foot in the other, and bent to free himself. When he straightened Lucy was waiting in all her ivory splendor, kneeling on the far side of the bed. She patted the clear space between them.

"Lay down, Dan. Time for you to receive tribute befitting a hero."

Dan felt his eyebrows rise and was surprised to hear a low whistle escape his pursed lips.

"How can I refuse an invitation like that?" Dan smiled and then let himself pitch onto his side across the bed.

He wriggled onto his back and revealed that, even laying down, a part of him was still standing. He cocked his head, aware of the irony of the term, and made a hmm noise.

"What's wrong? You've never seen your pene before?" Lucy asked as he hesitated. "It is a fine specimen."

"No, it's nothing, I thought it was dirty for a moment and that just wouldn't do." Dan didn't want to explain that he looked and felt harder and bigger than normal, "Actually I haven't had a shower since I got off work last night. Why don't I-"

Lucy placed a finger over his lips, interrupting his proposal of a shared shower.

"I am not daunted by the essence of a man. You look like you had a hard night last night so it was honestly earned; besides, we shall sweat enough soon." She trailed her finger down his chest as she leaned down and began to kiss, lick, and suck her way down his chest.

"Wait," Dan started, and thought Lucy was going to kill him with the glare she shot him. "You want to pamper me, reward me, pay tribute, homage, whatever, right? Let's do it right."

Dan quickly shoved a pillow into the centerline of the bed. He repositioned, spreading his legs wide and then tucking both of his hands behind his head.

"Now, I am ready to receive thy tribute." Dan announced, with a small smirk.

With his eyes closed and a smile on his face, he never noticed how his partner's eyes went wide when he used the archaic word. The next sensation he felt was a slick palm and fingers wrapping around his shaft slowly begin to pump his length. He let out a breath, a release of stress and tension, and allowed himself to go limp in every way but what mattered most.

Lucy began kissing his thighs and the crease of his hip while her spare hand reached to stroke and caress his balls. A single dainty kiss to the tip of his cock was the only warning before he felt her lips opening and sliding down and down, until her lips effortlessly kissed his pelvis.

"Oh fuck, Lucy. Holy shit." Dan finished his praise with a groan.

Lucy pulled her throat and mouth off of him, her hand sliding back up his shaft behind her retreating lips.

"That's what I like to hear. We haven't even gotten to the entree yet. This is just the appetiser." Lucy hummed in anticipation. Dan could sense her growing hunger and desire for him.

"Would it be in poor taste to mention a cream dessert?" Dan asked with a laugh.

"Hmm, no, as long as the cream isn't poor tasting." Lucy said, before chuckling herself.

Lucy took his head into her mouth and began to run her tongue slowly over its ridges. Her hand still slowly slid up and down as she let her saliva drip freely down his shaft. Her other hand now began stroking his thigh and occasionally dragging her nail or applying gentle pressure.

Dan raised his hips to chase Lucy's mouth as she pulled off him with the wet smack of a kiss.

"Now, now, patience dear, let me do all the work for now." She cooed.

Lucy's mouth found his scrotum, gently sucking his balls into her mouth and running her tongue over them. She kept up the gentle sucking while Dan moaned and clenched his fingers in his hair. She extended her tongue out of her mouth down his skin and then licked upward as she pulled back to let his nuts pop free, the cool air tingling against his now wet skin.

Lucy started kissing from one thigh up towards his crotch and then repeated it on the other side.

"Mwah, you're exquisite. I am so grateful you were there to keep me safe last night. Such a strong body, I can feel your mighty heart thunder in your veins, it's the heart of a warrior, a lion. Mmm, delizioso." Lucy purred as she leaned in again, her mouth wide.

Dan felt the pressure against his right thigh. Pleasure filled Dan's consciousness as Lucy ministered to his body. She pulled away.

"Cosa?" Lucy asked breathlessly and leaned into his left thigh. Dan felt the same pressure and the return of the sudden wave of pleasure.

"This is... I can't wait, I want more, I need more." Lucy managed between pants as she transitioned to squatting above Dan's cock and sliding down home in a single smooth motion.

Lucy bounced on his cock, her hands digging into his chest before sliding her fingers to play with his nipples.

"Yes, fuck, how are you so... UGH! Fuck! You reach so deep, I need it. Can't stop!"

Lucy's bouncing had quickly progressed from a galloping ride to an almost jackhammer pace.

Dan opened his eyes and reached up to run his hands over her skin.

Lucy, in response, let out strangled cries of frustration in time with her ass clapping against Dan's lap. Dan's fingers found her nipples and twisted. Three final bounces and a high pitched keen tore out of his lover's throat as she settled and leaned forward to rest her forehead against Dan's chest. He could hear her muttering in Italian, he recognized the sound but not what it meant.

"You ok, hun?" Dan tried again when she didn't respond, "Lucy?"

"Fuck, I can't remember the last time I came. How did you..." She trailed off as she straightened up slightly.

"How did I? Lady, you did all the work." Dan said with a laugh.

Lucy responded in Italian while shaking her head in a manner that Dan would normally take as 'Why am I putting up with this idiot?" She was starting to grind back and forth on his still hard cock so Dan tweaked her nipples again, earning a flash of her eyes.

"Hey, you alright, what's with the Italian and the attitude?" Dan asked, genuinely concerned he had done something wrong.

"You haven't cum yet." Another burst of Italian "How dare you stand against my best efforts?" She laughed after that.

Dan laughed in reply, "I'm hardly standing."

She slapped his chest, "You are where it counts!"

They each laughed.

"Hey, get off for a moment." Dan propped himself up on his elbows while he waited for her to comply.

She whined rather than obliging him, "No, just lay back, you haven't even finished."

"Lucy, I'm not stopping, I just want to switch up the position. C'mon trust me, I'm your savior, right? Haha." Dan smiled and laughed easily; he felt amazing and Lucy felt amazing around him.

She pouted but gasped when she swung her leg off him to dismount and he slid free of her tight embrace. He sat up and quickly leaned forward to kiss her, greedy for the sweetness of her lips again. He sat with his legs flat and then pulled her onto his lap. He kissed her breasts and then sucked her nipples between his teeth and teased them with his tongue as she reached behind herself to guide him in.

Lucy let out a long drawn out oh sound as she slid down his cock, she squeezed him tightly the whole way. She bent her head down and kissed his shoulder. Dan felt that same burst of pleasure from earlier as he thrust himself up into her descending hips. He had thought that after breaking to change position it would delay his finish, but as her lips dropped kisses across his shoulder to the side of his neck, he felt that stranger pressure again and a new burst of pleasure hit his system.  

It was also when the warning bells in the back of his mind began to ring.

"Lucy, what the fuck are you doing to me. Fuck, I'm going to-" Dan groaned.

Lucy pulled away from his neck, her mouth covered in red jam. She kissed him and he tasted the same iron as earlier. Dan couldn't stop himself; even as he realized she was kissing him with his own blood on her mouth, he was already pulling her down to explode as deep inside her as he could. She spasmed around him in her own orgasm. His eyes went wide in surprise when a mouthful of blood was forced into his mouth by her tongue, and then her hand went to his throat and stroked downward, forcing him to swallow.

Fire erupted in Dan's veins, the empty lightness he hadn't realized had been rising every time Lucy had bitten him was now replaced with new strength and drive. She pulled away from the kiss, staring at him with a frightening intensity.

"I can't get enough of you! I haven't wanted to fuck, haven't gotten anything from fucking, in decades. I get one taste of you and I can't stop riding you. Give me more! Give me more!" Lucy cried as she opened her mouth wide with canines extending into fangs. Dan wanted nothing more than to fuck this woman forever, even if it killed him.

At that moment, a primordial panic resonated within Dan's core. In response he felt a presence well up inside him and as he locked eyes with the out of control vampire he heard himself speak, but his voice held overtones of Asta's power.  

"CEASE!"

Dan and Lucy threw themselves off of, and away from, each other to land on their asses staring at the other, panting as they came to their senses.

In unison they asked the same question, "What the fuck are you?"

*****

Dan read Asta's message as he idly listened to the sound of his shower running. He hadn't been surprised to see the text message that had come through immediately after her voice and will had imbued his own to get them to stop the feedback loop he and Lucy had been trapped in.  

He shook his head. Two supernatural bombshells, three if he counted the Fae lady from the night prior, in two months didn't seem statistically likely, unless there were more supernatural creatures out there walking around than it seemed. Or unless he was now noticing them because he was no longer ignorant of their existence. His head turned when the water stopped.

Dan's mind recalled a quote from Michaelangelo, or was it one of the other turtles, about, 'the statue already being inside the stone, he merely discovered it.' Lucy's flawless, pale skin looked like she had emerged from a block of marble or porcelain. She was naked except for the towel she was using to dry her long wavy hair.

"Wow," Dan said dumbly.

Lucy looked up with an amused expression and also looking a great deal more composed and in control, "You act like you've never seen a woman naked before."

He shrugged, "You just... you look like you could be a statue in a museum." 

"Oh, ha!" She laughed, "I am, though."

Dan blinked, whatever response he had expected her to make, that hadn't been one he had considered.

"I posed for Canova's Terpsichore. Well, for the body, anyway. I was of a size and shape close enough to Alexandrine that she only need pose for her face. Even though I wasn't seeing Eugène anymore after his marriage to Augusta, I was friendly enough with his extended family that Alexandrine and Lucien felt comfortable asking me." She explained, as if the words and names had any meaning, as she kept passing the towel over her hair.

"Neat." Dan replied, he didn't know where to start but his thumb was already googling the statue and artist.

"Put your little magic box down and I'll tell you what that all means," She shook her head this time not to assist in drying her hair, "I swear, modern people will do anything but actually engage in a conversation."

"Alright, let me see this statue though," Dan did, it was a beautiful piece set in a museum somewhere, "Wow, alright, holy shit."

"Like I said, the face isn't mine. Canova was a very prominent Italian sculptor who was heavily patronized by the Bonaparte family among others. Alexandrine was his sister-in-law through his brother, Lucien. Eugène was his stepson and eventually the Viceroy of Italy, he should have been made King... and a Marshal of the Empire as well. He did better than others Napoleon gave the baton to. Augusta was Eugène's wife." She straightened and wrapped the towel across her body.

"So, Lucy," Dan began but she interrupted him.

"Not my real name by the way, though I'm fine going by it as it's far less memorable than Lucrezia." She walked past him into the common areas of his condo and he followed her.

"Uh, considering you're casually name-dropping people from two centuries ago, your last name isn't Borgia, is it? You're not THAT Lucrezia, are you?" Dan asked her back as he walked into the kitchen.

Dan's phone rang, interrupting whatever she was going to say. "One second," He answered when he saw the number.

"Dan here." He watched her busy herself in the cupboards.

"Dan, my boy," the Caretaker's voice came through the line, "when you left the cart out was there anything out of sorts in that row of the graveyard? You see anyone?"

"Yea, pretty lady, I got her outside the gates and locked up behind me." Dan didn't venture anything else.

The old man let out a breath that Dan could hear even across the phone, "Well, I know you're new to all this but I don't think she was quite human."

"Yeaaaa," Dan dragged the word out as he watched Lucy open the fridge, "She's here right now."

"Dan," All traces of friendly banter were replaced with deadly seriousness, "She's dangerous."

"I know. We had a little incident, but we're ok now... I think," He paused, "Right now, we're in the middle of having a little chat about the surprises we had for each other. I'll call you back. Oh, and Asta knows. I'll talk to you later."

Dan hung up the phone.

"So, are you a Borgia?" Dan asked as she approached him.

"No, I was born in the seventeen hundred and eightieth year of our Lord." She walked over and handed him the glass of orange juice, "Drink this, it will help restore your blood."

"About that," Dan said, before taking a drink.

"Yes, Dan, I am what most humans would call a Vampire. I ingest blood to survive. I'm over two hundred years old. Let's talk about what you are. You were a human when I bought you that drink weeks ago." She nodded, satisfied, as he had finished half the glass in a series of gulps.

"You look amazing, by the way," Dan said. She replied quickly, "Flatterer. Don't change the subject."

"Well, I was human back then. Since then, I had a Succubus turn me into some sort of budget version of herself to act as a lust piggybank. And now, whatever you did to me on top of that."

She frowned and he continued, "See, I got bit by a reanimated corpse last night; I checked the wound while you were in the shower. It's gone, completely healed, as if it never happened. I feel stronger, and more alert, than normal, and it's more than just the little boosts I got from my other lady."

"Our blood in mortals has that effect, until you burn through it all. It will also slow your aging and would normally establish a bond between us. And while I feel something, it's not like normal." She looked him dead in the eyes before commanding him, "Smash that glass."

Dan pulled back and tightened his grip on the glass, "Why? Then I'd have an uneven number of glasses and that would really bug me."

"See, normally a human imbued with my blood would be so enthralled they would smash it without question." She cocked her head like a bird as she studied him, and her hand floated up to trace a finger down the side of his cheek, "What's very impressive is that universally our kind have a mesmerizing gaze that makes someone suggestive and compliant. My brood all share a trait of our sire that our voices can also impart our will on others, if we choose to, and you resisted all three influences."

"Thought I felt something but it's nowhere near what Asta can do and ever since she 'invested' in me I've been more aware of and somewhat resistant to her persuasion." Dan replied, caught up in the academic curiosity the problem presented, he forgot to hold his cards close to the chest.

"Asta, that's your succubus patron?" Lucrezia asked him.

He nodded, "She is."

"I wonder if your resistance is based solely on the investments she made or if a bond between the two of you is its source." She mused aloud, also apparently more interested in the problem than discretion.

"Well, we can ask her directly. She texted when you were in the shower." Dan explained. "She's expediting her return to Monday and wants to meet you."

"I don't think that's necessary. You and I have had a memorable moment and narrowly escaped a calamitous end, but we don't need to extend our acquaintance past that. Do give my regards and my finest pardons to your mistress, but I have no wish to poach her plaything." Lucrezia began to move away but Dan grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

"Asta said she expected your presence upon her arrival so completely that I should offer, and even insist, you stay here with me in the interim. She told me that if you weren't here, she would find you. If I were injured or harmed, she would hunt you." Dan finished relaying the brief contents of the message he had read while she was showering.  

She had gone deathly still and he followed with some caution of her own, "I'm sure with two centuries under your belt you're very capable, Lucrezia, but she has you beat by at least an order of magnitude. I don't know if it works like it does in fiction, but from everything I've seen the older a supernatural creature is, the more powerful and capable they are."

Lucy gulped, "This is, in regard to most things, true. She is truly this old?"

"Yea, I think so." Dan confirmed, "She could be lying but my gut says she's the real deal."

"Ah, cazzo." Lucrezia swore, and Dan didn't need a lick of Italian to translate.

**Thank you fore reading and I hope you enjoyed Lucrezia's formal introduction to the story! Please leave any comments or questions or other feedback! I look forward to hearing from you all!**