Wind Gust

Wind Gust

"How do you do it? What's your secret?"

I kept combing my black hair as I turned towards "Fortune." She was one of the newer girls and was trying to figure out the dynamic of the club dressing room.

"What do you mean, Fortune? It is Fortune, right?"

She nodded. "I mean, you do one show a night max, and you make more cash than we do all night. You're at least twice as old as I am and yet, you rack up the dough. I don't get it."

I looked at Fortune's gorgeous face and body and put my hairbrush on the counter. "Why do you dance here?"

"For the cash. Between the dances and the private shows, I easily make rent and more. It's a good paying gig; just wish I made your kind of dough."

I gave her a motherly smile. "For me, it's very simple. I do it because it fulfills me. And to answer your question, the reason why guys like me is because I'm real. That's it."

The look on her face was one of total confusion.

I giggled. "Your confusion is understandable. It took me a while to understand what my husband was trying to teach me about being real."

Her look changed from confusion to shock. "You're married? Does he know about your gig here?"

I tried to stop the grin on my face from becoming too big. "Oh yes. And he's often in the audience. Well, the nights he can find a sitter for the boys."

"You have kids?"

I pointed to my belly where my C-section scar was very visible. "I thought that it was obvious."

Fortune rolled her eyes. "That's my point. You have your scar. And your boobs and ass are saggier than any girls around here. No offense but why are all these guys going crazy for your masked librarian trick when there are prettier girls around?"

I took a deep breath. How could I explain to her why being real was so important?

"Look at you. You're the ideal girl. You're beyond gorgeous. The guys know that they can never have a girl like you unless they pay for her. Me? I am attainable. They look at me and they think that maybe they might get lucky enough and find a woman who is as liberated, kinky, open-minded, and slutty as me. Pick your label. My reality gives them hope."

Fortune listened to my words with renewed attention. "Maybe. Or maybe they feel sorry for you."

I expected that mean line. The guests had a finite amount of cash, and the girls were all fighting for it. "We'll see." I started putting on my makeup.

Fortune moved away then turned back. "How did you get started if it wasn't for the dough?"

I thought for a second. "It all started with a gust of wind."

XXXX The Wind Gust XXXXX

It was a very warm day in early May with temperatures like the ones we get in the middle of July, so I decided to wear one of my summer dresses. It was sky blue with bikini straps and ended mid-thigh. There was a little bit of wind, and it felt so good to have the breeze caress my face.

I had just dropped at school my two treasures, Zach and Justin, six and eight years old, respectively. I was about to get back into my car when I dropped the keys. As I bent forward to pick them up, a strong gust of wind hit me from behind and lifted my dress, exposing the white cotton panties I was wearing. A pickup truck with a bunch of guys on the flat bed saw me and yelled "Nice ass." And "You're a hot mama!"

I turned red with embarrassment and yelled back, "How rude!"

I was about to finally get into my car when I heard. "I agree. That was rude. But it was also true. These guys are right."

I turned around and saw Johan Straton. His son, Michael, was in the same class as Justin. He was a peculiarity at the school because he was the only single dad. His wife had moved into our town after their divorce and Johan, who had joint custody of Michael, had bought a house in the neighboring town to limit the impact of the divorce on his son's daily life. So, every other week, Johan would drop off and pick up Michael.

His ex-wife had not minced her words about her ex-husband, and most of the moms had a low opinion of him. I was neutral about him because I was old enough to know that every couple's story has two sides. Now, my opinion of him had changed.

"How can you say such a thing? Their comments were inappropriate and disgusting."

Johan shook his head. "They expressed the truth of their feelings which are neither inappropriate nor disgusting. You're a beautiful mother."

I looked at him with wide open eyes, flabbergasted by his words. How can he say such things? Is he making fun of me?

"You're out of line."

Johan smiled. "How does it feel to be wanted? To have someone crave you? To be completely adored for who you're? To be haunting dreams and fantasies? To be the center of others' obsessions and wishes?"

As I turned around and got ready to get in my car, a frown appeared on my face as I curled my lips. I raised my voice as I said, "You're a psycho."

"Agreed, but I'm right. And deep inside you know it. The aura of your body is oozing its need to be seen, watched, appreciated, pleasured and loved."

I slammed the door of my car to send a message.

How dare he? Joking about my body and making fun of my desirability. That is disgusting. He's a total pervert and now I can believe what his ex-wife was saying about him. Complete weirdo.

I drove home but my anger did not subside. The words still resonated in my head. I couldn't understand how Johan could say those things.

Feeling dirty by what had happened, I took off my summer dress and put on yoga pants and an exercise bra. I climbed on my spin-cycle bike and did an hour-class, hoping to release some of the anger that was consuming me. It didn't help.

I took a shower after finishing my exercise and looked at my naked body. I saw the C-section scar from delivering my boys, my breasts which had started to lose some of their firmness after breast feeding and my butt was definitively saggy.

What a perv! How can he say those things? Look at me. I'm the opposite of desirable. I'm way past my prime. No one can crave me after what motherhood did to my body. Bobby makes it quite clear, unfortunately.

Bobby was my husband and the father of the boys. We got married after college and had a great relationship until a couple of years ago. He'd lost interest in pleasing me in bed. He blamed stress and work. He worked long hours as an account executive in an accounting firm that did the back office for hedge funds. We made love now once a week or every ten days and I was usually the one initiating it even if it was not satisfying anymore. I would suck him and he would penetrate me missionary style, come inside me and roll to his side of the bed and fall asleep. It was clear that my body was not what it used to be in Bobby's eyes.

That evening, after the boys went to bed, I told Bobby what happened. He brushed it off, saying that Johan was probably horny from being single and would say anything to get into my panties. I felt totally invalidated and decided to go to bed. I asked Bobby to join me, but his reply was that the game was tied in the fifth inning.

XXXXX The Fantasy XXXXX

I did my best to avoid Johan for the rest of the week and thought I succeeded until Friday. I had dropped the boys and was about to get into my car when he appeared out of nowhere. I couldn't hide my anger but stayed silent.

"Mrs. Jenna Carlson, I've been so amazed and intrigued by your aura that I did some research on you."

If a look could kill, he would have been dead, and my jaw ached from clenching it.

Who the fuck does he think he's doing research into me? Cut the crap about my aura, you fucking stalker.

He continued talking. "You'll probably want to slap me for what I am going to say to you. But I know you won't because you don't want to draw attention to yourself."

I clenched my fists but stayed silent.

I want to punch you right now, you sicko. What kind of crazy shit are you going to say?

He looked at my hands and smiled. I could tell he was enjoying upsetting me.

"You've been married for about 15 years and have two kids together. I'll guess that you have sex once a week at best, more likely twice a month. You probably come once in ten and it is when you do it yourself, lying next to a sleeping husband or in your bathroom. How close am I to the truth?"

My face turned bright red with hatred, and I raised my hand but stopped myself. He had guessed right. I didn't want to attract more attention to the situation.

How does he dare comment on my sex life or lack of? Why is he enjoying making fun of me? This is so cruel. How did he know that this would hurt so much? How can he read me so easily?

Using the most venomous voice I could muster, I spat back at him, "You're more than just a sick man, you're a disgusting pig."

I turned around as rage was boiling inside me and I wasn't sure I could contain it for much longer.

He said in a very sad voice, "You're a goddess stuck in a mental cage. Your body deserves to be seen and pleased."

I ignored him as I got into my car and drove home. I couldn't shake the words he just said to me.

How can he know so much about me? Why is he obsessed with my motherhood beaten up body?

That evening, I felt the urge to be loved. As usual, I put the boys to sleep while Bobby sat in front of the television, watching the baseball game and drinking a large number of beers. Once I was sure that they were asleep, I sneaked behind Bobby and started licking his ear and neck while moving my hand towards his crotch. His cock was soft as ever and my rubbing didn't generate any firmness.

"Honey, this is an important game. We need to win. Maybe later."

Disappointed, I said, "They play 200 games. How can one game in May be that important?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Every game is important in baseball. You just don't understand."

Without saying a word, I went to the bedroom and got ready for bed. While lying on the bed in my pajamas, I wet my fingers and started playing with my vaginal lips and slowly moved up to my clitoris. I caressed it as pleasure built inside me.

This feels so good. I wish it was Bobby doing it to me.

I alternated rubbing my clitoris with fingering my vagina. I bit my lower lip to avoid making any noise. As my climax was coming closer, a strange image appeared in my head: I was masturbating naked and a bunch of faceless men were looking at me, while masturbating themselves. The kinkiness and strangeness of the situation put me over the edge. A large wave of pleasure exploded from my clitoris and inundated my body. I shook violently as I moved my fingers away. I lay on the bed motionless, letting my orgasm recede.

Where the fuck did that fantasy come from and what does it mean?

XXXXX Two weeks later XXXXX

I saw Johan several times during the week he had custody of Michael, but he made no attempt to talk to me. I was relieved not having to deal with him and his sick ideas.

That Friday as I was looking for Justin but could not find him, Johan approached me.

In a nasty voice, I asked, "What do you want?"

He opened his mouth but said nothing. Justin appeared from behind him.

"Mom, can I have a play date with Michael at his house?"

I looked at him, then Michael and finally Johan.

"Please?"

"Okay Michael, I'll drive you, so I know where you'll be" I said, throwing a dirty look at Johan.

Johan's house was simply magnificent. It was located in the poshest part of town and had beautifully manicured grounds. I looked at it while biting my lips. This house was not the kind of place we usually frequented.

Johan stood at the entrance. As if he read me again, he said "Do you want to check the inside, just to make sure that it is not a house of horror. Your son will be perfectly safe here."

Shaking my head, I said, "I guess so," and entered the house.

The inside blew my mind. It looked like I was walking into a shot for an interior design magazine. Everything was perfectly arranged and the furniture was beyond magnificent.

As the boys went running to the playroom, I asked Johan in a strict and unfriendly voice, "Who decorated this place?"

He smiled. "I hired one of the best interior designers in the state."

I sighed. "Of course. Where is your money coming from? Are you a trust fund baby?"

"I sold my startup to Microsoft. It was an app that enhances mobile security and allows more secure transactions. I often have good ideas and know how to implement them."

What a pompous prick!

"Do you have guns in the house?"

He smiled. "I'm a lover, not a fighter."

My eyes turned dark as anger started brewing in me, removing my sense or prying too deeply. "Why did your wife divorce you?"

He lowered his eyes. "I cheated. I was very busy with the business and Michael was a baby, so our relationship was on the rocks. We had just hired a few interns, and I worked closely with one of them. She got infatuated with me and made me feel special. You can imagine the rest. By the time I realized I was an idiot, I had lost my marriage and a bunch of money as I settled with the intern. She had threatened me with a sexual harassment lawsuit. Biggest and dumbest mistake I ever made."

I could see the shame on his face as he kept his eyes lowered. I thought I would enjoy this moment of seeing his vulnerability embarrassing him, but instead I felt compassion for him.

So, when it comes to women, he's a perv and an idiot. At least, he admits it. I still don't understand why he's making fun of me.

"I'll pick Justin up a 6pm," I said as I left, my mood much better that I would have expected.

I returned to pick up Justin with my other son Zach in tow and to my surprise, it wasn't Johan who opened the door but my son.

"Mom, can I stay over and have pizza with Michael and his dad?"

"You know how I feel about junk food."

Johan, who was standing behind Justin, intervened. "The pizza comes from a brand-new place that only use organic ingredients and has vegan options. I had hoped that you and your son would join us."

Without waiting for my answer, Zach entered the house while Justin gave me puppy eyes.

I melted and said, "Okay. I'll text your dad and let him know but we're leaving at 8pm, understood?"

Johan smiled. "What kind of pizza would you like? The boys want a pepperoni one."

I followed him into the kitchen, and he slid a menu across the counter to me.

I looked at him and said, "Can you order a veggie one, with mushroom, onions, olive and peppers with vegan cheese?"

He nodded as he called in the order.

We ate in the state-of-the-art kitchen, and the boys went to watch some cartoons. My conversation with Johan was friendly and we talked about the teachers, some crazy parents, the latest shows we were watching and other mundane topics.

No comments about my body? This is strange. If I didn't know better, I could fall for this nice guy act. I need to shake him and see if it will go crazy again.

As I was working on my slice, I asked, "Johan, I need to bring this up. Why did you insult me and make fun of my body with your insane comments? Was that your idea of a sick joke?"

Johan lowered his eyes and shook his head. "I didn't make fun of you or your body, and I surely didn't mean to insult you. There is something unique about you, an aura that's currently imprisoned and needs to be freed."

I looked at him with an expression that said, "Are you kidding me."

"Excuse my language but I call bullshit on this. I talked about it with Bobby, my husband, and he thinks that you're just trying to get into my panties. He called you a lonely horny dog."

Bobby had never called him that but putting those words in my husband's mouth felt incredibly good. I was turning the tables on Johan.

He looked shocked. "You told your husband what I said? And he just brushed it off as me trying to sleep with you? Interesting."

He passed his fingers through his hair as if he was looking for the right words.

"Let's make one thing clear, Jenna. I'm not trying to have sex with you. You can see from my house that I have means. If I want a sexual partner, there are plenty of high-priced escorts I could hire. And if I want companionship, I know exactly where to find some gold diggers. I am alone by choice."

He breathed heavily.

I've got him. He's getting angry. Let's keep poking at him.

"I still think it's all BS. You keep saying those dumb things about my aura and how my body needs to be pleased and seen. Then you say that you've no interest in sleeping with me. It doesn't add up."

"Your aura is incredible. If you could only see it. And I respect your marriage to Bobby. I don't want to destroy it the way I allowed the intern to destroy mine."

I didn't know if I should get angry because he insulted me or happy because he complimented me. Luckily, I saw the clock on the microwave flash 8:00 PM and got up.

"Boys! Time to go home. Say thank you to Michael's dad."

He nodded and said, "Thank you for sharing a meal with us."

As we drove home, all kinds of thoughts were dancing in my head.

Am I attracted to him? He admitted he's to me. I'm married to Bobby and Johan respects that. Why am I even thinking about this?

The way he talks about my aura and body is insane, but I feel that he means it. He wants the world to see me, all of me. But my body is undesirable. What does he see that I don't?

I feel that he truly wants me. That's a strange but good feeling.

Stop it.

You're happily married to Bobby, and you know your body is not something the world should see.

But still...

XXXXX Last day of school XXXXX

I had no interaction with Johan until the last day of school. He approached me looking sad and despondent.

"I guess you and the boys are not coming either."

I looked at him confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Michael is going with his mother for the major part of the summer, so I wanted to throw a pool party for him and his schoolmates. I asked him to give an invitation to all the kids in the class. I only received regrets or silence. I guess my reputation among his classmates is in the gutter, thanks to his mom. I was surprised you didn't reply. I guess you spoke to her too."

I shook my head. "I never received the invite. Justin must have kept it in his backpack. And I would never ghost you. I might have my issues with you, but I wouldn't let an ex-wife make the decision for me. When is the party?"

"Tomorrow at noon."

"Justin will be there. Can Zach come too?"

Johan smiled. "Siblings and parents were invited."

"I doubt Bobby will come, he's usually busy on Saturdays but we'll be there."

Johan breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Looks like it'll only be you and your boys. Is that okay?"

I smiled. "Let's call it a play date instead of a pool party."

As expected, Bobby took a pass on going to Johan's house. He said he had some projects he wanted to do around the house. I decided to wear my favorite one piece bathing suit. I knew the delirious thoughts Johan had about my body and showing my legs, arms and back would be enough of a challenge for me. I looked at the only bikini I owned and decided to pack it. I didn't know why, other than deep inside me, I was starting to love the idea of my body being desired again.

Why are you buying his snake oil? Why play his game? Why don't you just fuck him?

I couldn't answer these questions in my head.

As soon as we arrived, Michael led Justin and Zach to the pool. Johan was in his swimming trunks, and I noticed how fit he was. His sculpted body didn't show signs of any fat, and the flat abs were simply amazing.

"Thank you so much for coming, Jenna. You and the boys made Michael's day. He knows from his friends that none of their mothers like me, thanks to my ex-wife."

He shook his head and lowered his eyes. "When I have him, play dates are hard to come by. I wonder if I should give up some of my time with him. I want to be involved but I don't want to be a pariah."

I didn't expect such vulnerability from Johan, and it took me by surprise.

"You should stay as involved as possible with Michael. He'll grow up very fast and needs a positive male figure in his life."

"Thanks Jenna. You are too kind. Why don't we go to the pool and take a dip?"

The boys were already in the water having fun. The food and drink spread was incredible in its abundance, presentation and quality. I took a slice of a melon and bit it. The juicy piece melted in my mouth.

"You outdid yourself, Johan. This looks amazing."

He smiled, visibly happy. "I wanted for you and the boys to have a memorable time. Then they can tell all their friends at school, and they will be mad at their parents for not letting them go to the party."

He chuckled. "I'm just kidding. I want this to be a special day for Michael so I hired the best caterer I could find. Why don't you make yourself comfortable?"

I took off my summer dress and revealed my one-piece bathing suit.

Johan laughed. "I knew it. I predicted you'd wear something like this. What would it take for you to put on a bikini?"

I lied. "I don't have one with me and even if I did, I would never put it on. Those days are over."

"Why?"

"Trust me, you don't want to see what's under this bathing suit."

Johan didn't say a word, but I could see by the look on his face that he disagreed with my last statement.

"What would it take for you to put on a bikini?" he asked again, persistent as ever.

I didn't know how to answer that question. I had the bikini in my bag but didn't expect it to be a bargaining tool. A thought formed in my head.

Maybe I can find out more about him. Let's see how open he's willing to be.

"I'm not promising anything, but you're talking about my aura and all that non-sense. Why don't you tell me about your ex's aura?"

He took a deep breath and poured himself a large glass of ice water infused with mint and orange slices.

"When I met Cindy, she had the most innocent, peaceful, optimistic aura. She was happy to be alive and enjoyed all the things that life could offer, big and small. She started to change when Michael was born. She started to worry and lost her innocence and peace. As I worked crazy hours, her aura turned dark and negative. Ever since she found out I cheated on her, her aura is angry, resentful and totally negative. I wish she would move on from me. She deserves to be happy and there is a great guy out there who can make her life a delight. However, she's caught in this vicious circle of nasty feelings about me, and it keeps bringing her lower and lower."

I was shocked by the response. I could see how much he still cared about his ex-wife even if he had moved on. The sadness in his eyes was very moving. I had to fight the urge to hug him. Instead, I decided to press on.

"What about the intern you cheated with? What was her aura?"

"It was neutral at the beginning and yes, I felt for the younger woman, older successful man cliché. After we started having sex, her aura turned to greed. I realized my mistake and paid her off to go away. However, I knew that something had died between me and Cindy. I regret cheating on her, but it exposed something that was latent in our relationship: I had stopped loving her."

I looked at him in silence. His honesty was refreshing. He didn't offer any excuse or blame Cindy. He took responsibility for his actions, and I sincerely appreciated that.

"What else do you want to know that would convince you to switch to a bikini?"

"You don't give up, do you?

"Not when I'm in the presence of a caged goddess."

I shook my head. I was split between two feelings. One was shame as I knew that my body was nothing to look at. The other was pride as Johan honestly wanted to see me show off my body. I was still hesitating when he made the call for me.

"Why don't you forget about it? Let's just have a great time. The water is too good to stay out on this hot summer day."

Without saying a word, I got up, grabbed my bag and went to the bathroom. I changed out of my bathing suit and looked in the mirror. The scar from the C-section was visible. I tried to lift the bikini bottom to cover it, but it didn't work.

Why am I doing this? I'm making a fool of myself. This is so stupid.

I started to take the bikini off but changed my mind.

He wants to see my ugly body, so let's show it. He'll realize how bad it is and leave me alone.

When I arrived at the pool, Johan looked at me and his jaw dropped. He was in awe. He kept staring at me but stayed silent.

"Is it that bad that you can't say a word?"

"No. No. It's just... This is amazing. You're...."

He searched for the right word.

"Beautiful. You're simply beautiful."

I didn't sense any irony or mockery in his tone of voice. He was being honest and genuine. Johan was amazed to see more of my body.

I pointed to the scar. "You find this beautiful?"

"Yes. Absolutely. This is real. YOU are real. Thank you, thank you."

I looked down at my stomach and for the first time in a long time, I felt better about it. Johan's enthusiasm about my looks was contagious.

I forgot how great it feels to be appreciated and wanted. A girl could get used to this.

Our eyes met and all I could see in Johan's was pure admiration. He was giving the impression that he was appreciating a piece of art in a museum.

We spent the rest of the day going in and out of the pool, watching the boys play and having a great time. At one point, Johan asked me a question that puzzled me.

"I don't understand why people are comfortable wearing close to nothing at the beach or at a pool but if you ask people to spend time wearing only underwear, they think you're a complete pervert. What's the difference? Many bathing suits, especially the ones for women, cover less than good old plain boring white underwear. Why are women wearing thongs on a beach but would freak out if their underwear is showing?"

I smiled. "It isn't the same thing. Wearing a bathing suit at the beach is expected. It isn't a sexual thing. Wearing underwear in a situation where you should be clothed is a sexual advance."

Johan shook his head. "That's my point. It doesn't have to be. I'm not talking about sexy undergarments here. Just plain regular undies."

He looked at me and a huge grin appeared on his face. "I have a proposal for you. Would you spend a day in my or your house, just the two of us wearing boring undies? With the agreement that it's 100% not sexual."

I giggled. "Never. Johan, you're a dirty pervert."

"Not the first time I have been called that. Not the worst thing either. Well, if you change your mind, let me know."

"Don't hold your breath."

As I was driving home, I kept thinking about Johan's proposal.

This is such a strange thing.

If he wants to fuck me, why doesn't he use a more conventional line of seduction?

I don't understand why he thinks that this approach is better.

Maybe he doesn't want to fuck me. After all, there was nothing sexual about our interactions at the pool.

Maybe I'm projecting my fantasies onto him.

XXXXX The Delivery Guy XXXXX

I spent the next two weeks without any contact with Johan. Summer was here and the boys were going to summer camp. Things with Bobby were the same. He seemed more interested in work and baseball than in me. I tried to initiate sex a couple of times and each time it was a quickie where he barely got me wet and fell asleep immediately after coming inside me.

Johan was more and more present in my thoughts. I was convinced that he wanted to fuck me and the idea was growing on me. He gave me the impression that he would be great in bed and the notion of someone else bringing me to climax was becoming more acceptable. I still felt loyal to Bobby, but I convinced myself that a one-night stand would be good for both of us.

One morning, after dropping the boys at the daily summer camp, I went to visit Johan unannounced. He opened the door covered in sweat as he was in the middle of his exercise routine.

"Jenna, to what do I owe the pleasure?'

I blushed. "Remember the offer you made at Michael's pool party? I want to take you up on it."

His eyes lit up. "Excellent. Let me take a shower. Make yourself at home."

I went into the living room and waited. He came back wearing only a pair of boxers. I couldn't tell if he was endowed or not. He stood there in his underwear, waiting for me. I unzipped my summer dress and let it fall to the ground. I was wearing the most boring, mommy-style white cotton bra and panties. It was the least sexy underwear I had. I smiled at him, expecting a move.

Okay Johan. You want to fuck me. I'm ready. Let's do it

He looked at me and smiled but instead of approaching me, he went to the kitchen.

"Can I make you coffee and breakfast?"

I stood there flabbergasted.

He meant it. It isn't about fucking me. It's about spending the day in our undies. What else did you expect? Your body is saggy and you can't even turn on your husband. Johan is fit, rich, attractive and smart. Why would he fuck you?

I felt stupid and ugly. I wanted to go home crying.

"Would you like an omelet?"

As I did not reply, Johan looked at me and saw the sadness in my eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I think I should go home."

He walked towards me and gently took my hand. "Why? Did you think I came up with this idea to convince you to sleep with me? You're mistaken. I want you to realize how beautiful you're and how you need to share this beauty with the world. You're gorgeous and smart. I feel so lucky that you're confident enough to stand in front of me in your underwear."

If I am so attractive, why don't you fuck me?

As if reading my mind, Johan continued. "Don't get me wrong, I crave you, but I'm not interested in a quickie. If anything is to happen between us, I want it to be a symbiotic relationship. I want us to become one."

I still felt stupid and self-conscious, but Johan had admitted he wanted me. That gave me hope that maybe he would make a move before the end of the day. I was aching to be wanted. I moved my hand away from his and put on a smile.

"I understand. I'm sorry. I should have known better. Anyway, I would love an omelet. Can you make a veggie one, with no cheese?"

"Absolutely."

We spent the next few hours in our underwear. Johan worked on his laptop, and I looked at my phone. I didn't plan any activity other than sleeping with him, so I had nothing to do. Around noon time, I decided to make lunch for the two of us. Cooking while wearing only your undies is an interesting experiment. As we sat at the kitchen table and ate, I felt some confidence build in me. I was becoming comfortable with my body and showing it to Johan. That was a new feeling for me and I was enjoying it. However, I wasn't sure of the source of this new feeling: was I more at ease showing my body or did I just want to sleep with Johan?

The doorbell rang as I was doing the dishes.

Johan smiled. "It's a delivery I'm expecting. Why don't you open the door?"

"Are you kidding? I'm in my undies. Never. This is crossing the line."

"What if you just show your head and hide behind the door? Just for me. Pretty please?"

A part of me wanted to just get dressed and leave and end the charade. But an emerging part of me wanted to push the boundaries, to see if I was capable of doing it.

"Okay. Just my head."

I opened the door and stuck my head out. "Yes?"

The delivery person was a young man in his twenties. "I need a signature, ma'am, for the package."

I didn't move. I did not want to expose myself to him. Johan understood the situation and appeared, wearing only his boxers.

The delivery man smiled and nodded. "It will only take a second, sir."

Johan signed and asked, "Can I ask you for a favor?"

The young man nodded. "Absolutely."

Johan smiled and moved me away from the door.

"What would you have thought if she had opened the door wearing this?"

I started to panic and anger bubbled up inside my brain. However, before I could yell at Johan, I saw the delivery man staring at me in complete appreciation.

"Sir, this is the most beautiful sight I have had all month. Thank you, ma'am, for sharing. You made my day."

He turned around, went back to his truck and left.

I wanted to stay angry at Johan, but the anger melted like spring snow in the sun. The young man had greatly enjoyed looking at me. It wasn't sexual or perverted but pure admiration. I was feeling euphoric, as the event had boosted my confidence. However, I didn't want Johan to think he could do whatever he wanted with me.

"Never, ever do that again or you will regret it."

The expression on his face turned somber. "I'm sorry. I crossed the boundaries between us but now, you know. You can deny it but deep inside you know that what I have been saying about you is true."

"It doesn't matter. You have no right to do what you did. I think it's better if I leave now."

Johan looked at me as I was getting dressed and sadness appeared in his eyes. "Jenna, I'm so sorry. My methods might have been wrong, but my message is true."

"Goodbye, Johan."

As I was driving home, I felt happier and happier. Something had awakened in me, and I wasn't sure what it was other than I felt better in my body than I had felt in years.

I want him. I think that I am ready now.

Yes, I will cheat on Bobby, but it will be a one-time thing.

I need to get it out of my system.

I'll let Johan simmer a little bit and then pay him a visit. I'll make a move on him that he won't be able resist. This will be fun.

XXXXX A Seduction Disaster XXXXX

I went to bed that night and all I could think about was Johan. The last time I was obsessed like that was in my teenage years when I was an awkward girl with the biggest crush on the hunk of the class above us. Except that I was a woman now and I knew that I would get Johan in my bed and inside me.

The obsession was so strong that I masturbated daily thinking about him. With Bobby absorbed by the baseball games or going out with the guys from work for a few beers, I had the nights to myself. As I lay on the bed and started to think about Johan, my slit became loose and pleasure juice started to flow. I imagined what I would do to him and what he would do to me and this led to powerful orgasms. My clitoris was so sensitive after my self-pleasure session that I had to be very careful when washing.

A couple of times, Bobby came to bed drunk and tried to wake me up. I was awake each time and pretended to be asleep and too tired. I was reserving myself for Johan. I wanted this one-day stand to be unforgettable.

A week after our "let's work in our underwear" session, I showed up at his house unannounced again. Johan was only wearing a pair of shorts as he was in the middle of exercising. His perfectly shaped body was shining as he was covered in sweat.

"Hello Johan," I said as I left myself in. "I had some free time after dropping the kids at summer camp, so I decided to stop by to see how you're doing."

I was wearing a red summer dress with spaghetti straps that fit me snugly. I had chosen not to wear any bra and put on a black see-through silk pair of panties which were the sexiest I owned.

The more I looked at his Greek God body, the more aroused I became. I felt my panties getting wet and I could see that my nipples were poking through the fabric of the dress.

As Johan made me coffee, I approached him. "This is unfair. You're wearing only shorts and I'm fully dressed. Let's make things more equal."

I winked at him as I unzipped my dress and let it fall to the ground, exposing my breasts with their hardened nipples and my wet silk black panties.

Johan's expression went from a look of surprise to a happy grin. He stared at me, visibly enjoying the show. Feeling bolder, I approached him and put one finger in his shorts. "Let's see what beauty is hiding under these!"

His reaction shocked me. Johan took my hand and gently moved it away from his body.

"Jenna, thank you for your interest and letting me see part of your incredible body. As much as I would like to move forward, I need to know what do you want from this? Is this just a fling? A one-time shot? Then, I'm not interested."

I couldn't believe what I just heard.

What the fuck is wrong with him? I am basically giving myself to him and he pushes me away. Is he gay?

"Johan, I thought that this is what you wanted and rather to dance around like dumb teenagers, why don't we just do it? We are both consenting adults."

Johan gently took my hands in his. "Jenna, I'm so honored that you're attracted enough to me to break your marriage vows. But I'm not interested in having an affair with you. I want the real thing with you. I want a communion of mind, body and soul. I want us to become one. I want our auras to join. Right now, neither of us are ready for that."

I looked at him with despair in my eyes and suddenly felt very stupid. My arousal had died and I saw the reality of the situation. I was a middle-aged, neglected housewife who was half-naked in the kitchen of a much prettier man.

"What was I thinking? I should have known." I pointed to my breasts and C-section scar. "How could I imagine that you would find these desirable? You can have any 25-year-old you want."

I fought to contain my tears as I got dressed but I lost. They started to flow down my cheeks.

Johan took me in his arms. "The opposite, Jenna. I find you incredibly attractive and sexy. But I think that you should try to patch things with your husband. I hope that you know now that you're very desirable and that you have regained your confidence. Go ahead and tonight, give Bobby a night he will never forget."

I nodded and started to leave as he added. "Beautiful undies, by the way. They are definitively a sight I will not forget."

I left without saying a word.

I can't figure him out. He pushes me away but tells me I'm highly fuckable. What is wrong with him? Why can't he just be like the other men and get a kick out of fucking another guy's wife?

I thought about Johan's words all day and decided that I should probably follow the advice. Maybe I needed to be more proactive with Bobby to make him pay attention to me.

That evening, as he was watching the baseball game, I went into the den and stood in front of the television. I wore the same clothes I had on me when I went to see Johan this morning. I lifted my dress and slowly pulled my panties down.

In a sultry and sexy voice, batting my eyelashes, I asked, "Can this distract you from the game?"

Bobby's reaction floored me

"Are you crazy?" he hissed. "The boys could barge in. What has gotten into you, Jenna? Stop this nonsense."

Feeling shattered, I muttered "They are asleep." I pulled my panties back on and ran to the bedroom. I buried my face in the pillow as I started sobbing.

I am so undesirable that I can't even seduce my own husband.

He is more worried about the boys seeing me naked than interested in having sex with me.

How many women can say that on the same day, they got naked in front of two guys and were ready to fuck and got turned down?

Only the ugliest unfuckable witches.

Bobby got into the bed once the game was over and lifted my nightgown and started rubbing my ass. "What do you say Babe?"

His breath smelled of alcohol, and I had trouble understanding him as his speech was slurred. I turned to the side and just replied "No!"

He lay on his side and said, "I thought this was what you wanted."

I didn't answer and started crying silently again. Within minutes Bobby was snoring, and I felt so low I wondered what the point of living was.

XXXXX The First Time XXXXX

The next few days were the worst I had in a long time. I was deeply depressed and showed no emotion or affect. I went through the motion of trying to be a good mother to Zach and Justin, but my heart was not in it. Bobby had barely said two words to me, and I couldn't face the thoughts of seeing Johan. I tried to help myself with sleeping pills and drinking hard liquor in excess, but I felt awful the days after, so I quicky stopped this unhealthy practice. I was spiraling down a rabbit hole I didn't want to go in and had no idea how to stop it.

The solution came as I was listening to a talk show on the radio after dropping the boys at summer camp. The guest was a self-help author, and she kept repeating that the beginning of any healing requires facing the cause of the hurt head-on. I decided on the spot to visit Johan because, after all, he was the cause of the situation. He had rejected me and convinced me to try a stupid thing with Bobby. As I got closer to his house, my sadness got overridden with shame. I was back to being a neglected housewife waiting for attention. It took a long time for me to gather the strength to get out of the car and ring his doorbell.

Johan opened the door wearing only his exercise shorts as I expected but seeing his chiseled body didn't have an effect on me. I knew that this was off limits, so why bother drooling over something you can't ever have.

A look of concern appeared on his face as he saw me. "Jenna, is everything OK? Did something happen to you or the boys?"

Tears started to flow as I entered his house. I went to the living room and sat on the couch.

"It's your fault."

Johan looked perplexed. "What is my fault?"

"You told me to try to seduce Bobby. His rejection was worse than yours. I know now how undesirable I am."

"Wow, slow down Jenna. I didn't reject you; I respected your marriage. I'm sorry if it felt like a rejection but that wasn't my goal. I didn't expect you to take it so badly. What happened with Bobby?'

I told him in detail what happened and I started to sob uncontrollably. My body shook as I expressed my shame about the situation. To my surprise, I saw tears flow down Johan's cheeks and he took me in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Jenna. I never expected this to happen. I really thought that Bobby would have jumped at the chance to make love to you. You're so wanted and desired. I...."

I screamed "Stop it!" as I pushed him away and got up. "Stop with that crap. I'm unfuckable as no one is excited by me. If you mean it, show me!"

In a burst of anger and madness, I unbuttoned my blouse and threw it at him. "Do you find this fat belly attractive?"

I unzipped my skirt and let it fall to the ground. "Do you get a hard on watching that ugly C-section scar?'

I unclipped my bra, took it off and tossed it behind me. "Do you find these hanging boobs exciting?"

Finally, I pulled my panties down and flung them at Johan's face as I turned around. "Does this saggy ass give you the urge to fuck it?"

I looked at Johan and pointed to my completely naked body. "Are you happy now? You can see my naked ugly body. Did you get your fill?"

Tears flowed again on his face as he said in a broken voice, "You're real and beautiful. You... "

"Stop saying that. I'm just an undesirable desperate housewife."

"No, you're not!" Johan got up and pulled down his exercise shorts and boxers in one swoop. His cock stood there, fully erect. "This is what you do to me!"

My eyes couldn't believe what I saw. The longing coming from Johan was mind blowing. I hadn't felt that from Bobby in years. I usually had to blow him first to get him hard.

This is unreal. He wants me more than he ever said. It must have been so hard for him to turn me down when I tried to seduce him. I want him more than ever.

I fell down to my knees and started to caress his dick.

Johan tried to pull away. "You don't have to do this. I just wanted to show you that what you said was wrong."

I looked up at him. "I want to do this."

I gently grabbed his cock and put the head in my mouth. I moved my tongue around the head as my hand started to stroke the exposed shaft, feeling the throbbing veins. I caressed his balls with my other hand.

Johan started to moan. "This feels so good!"

I took the cock out of my mouth and licked the entire shaft, ending with a kiss on the head of the penis. His moans were getting louder.

I engulfed as much of his cock as I could in my mouth and started to suck him hard and I stroked the exposed part of his dick. The more he moaned or groaned the more I increased my speed.

As I sensed that his throbbing cock was about to explode, Johan tried to pull away. "I'm about to come and..."

I grabbed his buttocks and pushed his body against my face to ensure that his cock would stay in my mouth and that he would come inside it. It didn't take long as Johan released a loud moan and I felt his dick spit out his cum inside me. He hit the back of my throat and filled it with his salty tasting semen. I swallowed what I could and kept the cock between my lips, sucking it like a baby would suck a nipple full of milk.

As Johan's penis returned to size and I was convinced that there was no more cum to receive, I slowly pulled his cock out of my mouth and looked up at him with a huge smile on my face.

His visage was covered with a happy grin. "This was incredible. How about you sit on the couch and allow me to repay the favor?"

I got up as I shook my head. "No need. I'm good to go." I retrieved my panties and put them on.

"Jenna, I'm not a one-way street kind of guy. I love to give pleasure as much as I love to receive it. This is not fair."

I smiled as I was getting dressed. "It's okay Johan. As you said, there is a time for everything. Now is not the time. I needed to feel wanted and you did that. So, thank you."

"Jenna, this is not right. I..."

"Here is what you can do for me. How about you go take a shower and get ready to take me out for breakfast to a fancy place." I winked as I added, "Make sure that they have a vegetarian option as I got my fill of proteins for the morning."

As he left to take a shower, I said, "And by the way, if you want this to be a daily occurrence to release your stress after your workout, just let me know. I enjoy getting nutrients that way."

Johan turned around and said in a serious voice, 'I certainly appreciate the offer, but I want more. I want us both to give and receive. You have incredible mouth skills, Mrs. Carlson, but if you want to use them, you need to be ready to be on the receiving end of mine."

I smiled and said nothing.

XXXX The (real) First Time XXXXX

I drove home after a great brunch in a sweet romantic restaurant. What had happened this morning was the only thing on my mind.

So, I cheated on Bobby. Although is a blow job really cheating? I didn't let him touch me but I'm starting to regret it. I guess I am an adulteress. But are things genuinely over between me and my husband? Is this just a fling to satisfy my sexual desires that Bobby is not fulfilling or is this more?

These questions were a whirlwind in my mind for the rest of the day. I picked up the boys and made dinner. Bobby came home and I tried my best to be nice to him and see if I could clear up some of the confusion I was feeling. This didn't work. Bobby was in a bad mood, complained about his boss and barely said a word at dinner. He grabbed a beer and sat to watch his damn baseball game.

I put the boys to sleep and went to our bedroom and sat on the bed, trying to read. I couldn't finish a sentence because one scene kept forming in my mind: Johan making love to me. I kept visualizing his cock entering my wet pussy and it didn't take long to get aroused. I started to play with my clitoris while double finger fucking myself and fantasizing about having sex with Johan. My orgasm came fast and powerful and I had to bury my head in the pillow not to scream my pleasure. As I emerged from my little death, I knew one thing for sure: I desperately wanted to fuck Johan. It was not a question of if anymore, but a question of when.

I resisted for three days and by then, my heart was burning with passion. I decided to stop by his place after dropping the boys and replace his workout routine with something more physical. I wore simply a summer dress with nothing under, and I felt a little slutty but after all, I was about to cheat on my husband of fifteen years.

Johan didn't look surprised as he opened the door. "Good morning, Jenna. Are you coming for breakfast or something else?"

I licked my upper lip and using the sultriest voice I could muster, said, "I'm here to collect what was promised to me."

I entered his house, sat on the couch, spread my legs and lifted my dress, exposing my pussy.

With a huge grin, he said, "I see. I'm a man of my word."

He kneeled between my legs and started lapping my vaginal lips the way a cat would drink water. I put my hands on his head as his tongue separated the lips, and he savored the pleasure juice that my vagina was creating.

"You taste like a marvelous nectar!"

He spread my pussy to expose my clitoris and used his tongue to make circles around it before starting to lick it. I moaned as pleasure began to build.

This feels so good. Even better than I imagined.

Johan's tongue was playing with my clitoris as I felt one and then a second finger entering my drenched and loose vagina. I let out a joyful moan of surprise as he started to finger fuck me while accelerating the lapping of my pleasure bud. My senses were overwhelmed by the delight building up between my legs.

I was getting close to climax when I felt a wet finger entering my asshole. Johan was finger fucking my ass and pussy while sucking my clitoris. This had never happened to me. It didn't take long for him to get me over the ledge. My clitoris released wave after waves of pleasure as I succumbed to Johan's mastery of the art of the cunnilingus. My body shook uncontrollably as if Johan's fingers and tongue had given me electroshocks. I dug my nails into his skull as I lost awareness of time and space. The climax was profound and powerful, and I vanished into the infinite universe. I stopped moving at once, enjoying my little death.

When I came back to earth and slowly opened my eyes, I saw a happy and smiling Johan. I gently caressed his face.

"I guess you enjoyed it."

"This. Was. Incredible."

He got up and started to move when I stopped him. I noticed that my dress was covered with my sweat so in one swift move, I took it off.

"It was all wet and clinging to me. It feels nice being naked in front of you."

"I agree. I would rather see you naked than wearing clothes."

I looked at Johan and made a sad face. "This is not fair. Why am I the only one naked?"

I pulled down his exercise shorts and boxers and saw that his cock was in full erection. I moved forward and started to suck the head when Johan stopped me.

"Jenna, I want more than your mouth. I would take what you give me, but I want all of you."

I lay on the couch and opened my legs wide while saying with a wink, "Then feel free to take as much or as little as you want."

He grabbed my legs and moved me to the edge of the couch so that my ass was not on it. He inserted his cock in my welcoming pussy at once and started to fuck me. I looked at him smiling as he played with my tits while his dick was in and out of my vagina. Johan leaned forward and started to kiss my lips, ears and neck while continuing to ravage my meat-hole.

This feels so good. I wish I was a multi-orgasm woman.

I expected him to come soon as I was used to Bobby's performance, but it didn't happen. Instead, Johan pulled out and made me get on my hands and knees. He went behind my legs and started to fuck me doggy style. I lowered my head to allow a deeper penetration, and Johan rewarded me by playing with my clitoris. I hadn't had sex in that position in years as Bobby was only a missionary style guy, these days.

I fully expected Johan to explode in my vagina very soon, but he surprised me again. He pulled out, made me stand up and led me to the kitchen. There he had me put one leg on a chair. He reentered me with his hardened cock. I had never been fucked like that, and it felt wonderful. I put my hands on the table to stabilize myself as his thrusts inside me were stronger.

He pummeled me for a while before asking, "Are you ready for more?"

I nodded as he pulled out and sat on the chair. He turned me around and had me impaled myself on his cock.

"Now it is your turn to fuck me."

In a reverse cowgirl position, I moved my hips up and down inserting his dick in my loose vagina. This was another new position for me, and I loved being in control of the rhythm. I was the one fucking him and I loved that feeling.

At one point he stopped me. "You need to let me pull out. I'm about to come."

I got up and said, "No. I want you to come inside me. But I want to see your face as you do it."

I sat facing him, cowgirl style and put his cock inside my pussy. He started fucking me again at it didn't take long for him to explode. He moaned very loudly as I felt his cum hitting the walls of my vagina. I hugged him hard as he came inside me. I felt so happy.

This is the best sex I have ever had. In one try, we did five positions and fucked in two different rooms. It was worth cheating on Bobby for that.

I let Johan enjoy his orgasm and waited for him to open his eyes before asking, "Now that you had me, do you still want more?"

He looked at me and answered with a powerful kiss, putting his tongue into my mouth. We stayed there for a long time in silence, me sitting on him, our bodies enlaced. I kept caressing his head, having a hard time realizing what had just happened.

Johan was the first one to talk. "You're a true goddess. Thank you."

I smiled. "No, thank you. I never felt so coveted."

"You're a dream come true. Now I have an idea for you. How would you feel about spending the rest of the day together naked but without doing anything to each other?"

"I don't know if I can resist."

"Let's try! First step is a shower!"

We took a shower together and to my surprise, he didn't try to make me come or to fuck me. We dried each other and went back to the kitchen.

Johan said, "I have some work to do, so do you mind preparing lunch?"

I had nothing else to do so I agreed. He started to work in the kitchen, and I decided to make an elaborate meal. I caught Johan peeking at me and pretty soon I could see his half erect cock. I wanted to kneel in front of him and suck him, but I promised to try to spend the day naked without touching him.

This feels great. He wants me so badly, and yet does nothing. He could be fucking my brains out but instead, he just wants to look at me. I haven't felt this good about myself in a very long time.

We spent the rest of our time together just naked, but it felt right. I was getting ready to get the boys when the doorbell rang.

Johan looked at me. "Are you OK opening like this?"

"Absolutely not!"

"What about if you wear a bath robe?"

After what happened with the first delivery man, I knew exactly what Johan would do if I said yes but I felt so good about myself that I decided to play along. "Okay then but please do not open the robe to show my body to the delivery guy."

He ran to the bathroom and returned with the robe. I put it on and opened the door. The young delivery man handed me the package and I signed for Johan. As I gave the electronic pad back, I heard, "Here is your tip. In kind."

I felt Johan's hands on the top of my shoulder and saw that he was opening the robe. I didn't try to stop him. A part of me wanted to see the delivery guy's reaction. I was not disappointed. As the robe parted and my nakedness was fully exposed, the man couldn't get his eyes off me. He kept staring at me in what felt like an adoring way. Finally, his eyes reached mine before saying, "Thank you ma'am. This is the best tip of my life." He tipped his cap to me and left.

I felt exalted. I was starting to enjoy showing my body and men seemed to love looking at it. I faced Johan who said, "I told you, so."

As I was about to leave, I approached Johan to kiss him, but he stopped me. "Jenna, I am glad to see that you know how desirable you're and what I feel for you. However, I just don't want this to be a neglected housewife affair. I think that you should try to make things work with Bobby. You owe it to your marriage and your family to give it a shot."

I nodded in disappointment, but I respected Johan's point of view. I knew that he wanted me but didn't want to be a marriage breaker. If things were to continue between us, he would need to be sure that there was nothing left to break.

I have now officially cheated on Bobby. Why don't I feel bad? It is more than the great sex and the intense orgasm. There is something between me and Johan. But I need to think about the boys and the family. Johan is probably right. Let's see if I can reignite Bobby's passion for me. After all, I know now that I am desirable.

That evening, I waited for Bobby in bed, wearing a sexy nightgown he bought me when we were just dating. It didn't fit me anymore, but it didn't matter as I expected to take it off quickly. He sat on the bed, smiling but smelling of beers.

"This is a nice surprise. What do I owe it to?"

I winked. "Bobby, I missed you so much today."

I took off the nightgown and expected to see the same look in his eyes as I saw in Johan and the delivery guy. Instead, all he did was pinch my nipples. We kissed and he got undressed. I hid my disappointment as I saw a soft penis. I started to jerk him off but not much was happening, so I took the dick in my mouth. This did the trick as I felt his cock hardening. I pulled it out, kissed the head and lay on the bed, legs wide open. Bobby touched my vaginal lips a couple of times before pushing his hard dick inside my barely wet vagina. I closed my eyes and thought about my time with Johan to help me lubricate. As I started to moan to make Bobby feel better, he came in silence. I felt his cum filling up my pussy. He pulled out and turned to the side.

I lay there in silence until I had the courage to say, "Could you go down on me?"

The only response I got was the sound of him snoring.

Things between me and Bobby are dead sexually. I am just a couple of holes to fuck. I need to figure out what I want and need to do. I must take the boys into consideration and the fact that he works and I don't. Where do I go from here?

XXXXX The Pool Party XXXXX

The next few days followed a strange routine. I would stop at Johan's house after dropping the boys. We would exercise and shower together but not do anything remotely sexual. We stayed naked until I left to pick up my kids. I tried more than once to initiate sex, but Johan always pushed back. I knew that this required a very strong will as I could see his erection. He insisted that my family and marriage came first and were salvageable. I told him the fiasco the night after we first made love, but he insisted I continue to try. Each attempt was more disastrous than the previous one. When Bobby worked late or went out with his friends for his poker night, he had no interest in sleeping with me. The nights that he watched baseball, our lovemaking felt like work. At one point, he even asked what had gotten into me that I had suddenly such a strong sexual appetite. I knew that Bobby and I were done sexually but I needed to convince Johan.

I decided that the best approach was to be blunt, direct and shocking. As we got naked to take a shower after our daily exercise, I told him, "Johan, the idea of fucking me doesn't appeal to Bobby anymore. It is a chore for him. He wasn't aroused by my body and had no interest in making me come. I have given it all I can but I'm getting more and more frustrated. I don't know what my future entails, but it doesn't include Bobby!"

Johan was so surprised that he looked at me in silence.

Finally, you're getting it. He is the opposite of you. He doesn't want me. Can we move on and be together even if it is just for screwing?

I turned on the water and went under it. Johan finally spoke.

"Jenna, this is a tremendous statement that you just made. I hope you understand the consequences of it."

I smiled and went down on my knees to suck him. He stopped me and kneeled. He lifted me and had me sit on his shoulders, my pussy right in front of his face. He started to lick me, splitting my vaginal walls with his tongue before focusing on my clitoris. As I got wetter and more aroused, I felt fingers entering my pussy and my ass. This felt so good. It didn't take long for me to orgasm under Johan's expert tongue.

After I came down from my climax, he let me stand, made me turn around and lifted my leg as he fucked me from behind. He started to ram into me very fast and, to my surprise, didn't take much time to ejaculate in my vagina.

He is amazing. He can control his orgasm at his will. What a difference from Bobby!

Johan kissed me before soaping my entire body, including my private parts. I wanted so much to come again but it was not in the cards.

As we were drying each other, he asked, "Are you ready to show your body to the world?"

I laughed. "Are you kidding? Absolutely, not!"

"How about some friends? They are naturists and have an upcoming pool party. It is a total sex free time. It is about enjoying the rays of the sun on your skin and the eyes of others on your body."

I hesitated. "Is this with your rich friends and their gorgeous second wives?"

Johan had told me about his circle of friends from his time running the company he sold and how the majority of them struck it rich and ended up marrying a much younger woman.

"I think that they would laugh at me. I can't compete with a twenty-five-year-old."

He laughed, "You're so mistaken. They will never laugh at you and some of these women might get jealous of the attention you will be getting."

I thought for a while before agreeing. "I'll do it but on one condition. I want a safe word in case I want to leave immediately. If I say, "tummy ache," we boogie out of that party right away."

"Deal. You'll have a fun time."

On the day of the pool party, I convinced Bobby to take the boys to a ball game. I knew that it would take the whole afternoon and even longer as he would take them for pizza and ice cream afterwards

I put a sundress over my bathing suit and took off my wedding and engagement rings. It felt strange as it was the first time in more than fifteen years that I did that.

I officially am a cheater and I know it's wrong. I wonder how Johan will introduce me. "Hey guys, this is the desperate woman I fuck when I feel like it." Nah, he isn't the type. He'll be gentleman like. "Hello gentlemen, this is the lonely lady I have intercourse with."

I was very anxious and nervous on the drive to the mansion where the party was taking place. The driveway to the house was about a quarter of a mile long and ended with a circle with a fountain in the middle. Luxury cars were parked around the loop.

A man older than Johan appeared at the door, wearing a robe as we got out of the car.

"Johan, so happy to see you. And who is the lovely lady with you?"

Johan looked at me with pride in his eyes as he answered, "The most important woman in my life."

That statement helped reduce some of my anxiety. However, when we were in the room to change into our birthday suits, I hesitated. I had briefly seen some of the women and they were incredibly gorgeous. I was feeling very awkward and self-conscious. I was about to use the safe word when I saw something in Johan's eyes that I had never seen before. He had passion, respect and dare I say it, love in his gaze. I smiled and got naked.

The first few minutes were very difficult. I was the oldest woman by far. They all had perky firm tits and asses, either natural or thanks to a plastic surgeon, I couldn't really tell. I was the ugly duckling of the party and felt stupid. As Johan left me to get some drinks, I sort of covered myself and started to plan my exit.

This is when I noticed that the party goers, male and female, were looking at me with envy and pleasure. There was no mockery in their eyes. They were admiring my body. I felt a burst of confidence and started to mingle. People did their best to look me in the eyes when they were talking to me, but I could see their stare wander towards my body. Their gaze was full of desire, and it filled me with an insane amount of confidence. I had stopped seeing my body as this damaged thing I should hide but something people admired and wanted to see.

On the way back, Johan asked me, "Was it fun? Did you see how they couldn't take their eyes off you?

"Why? There were prettier women than me at the party."

"Yes. But they didn't feel real like you do. They don't have that aura of desirability that radiates from all your pores."

"Thank you." I kissed him and put my hand on his crotch. "Maybe we can stop at your house for a quickie before I leave?"

XXXXX The Club XXXXX

The next few days were a ton of fun. I would drop the boys at summer camp and go to visit Johan. We would exercise together and after that, have mind blowing sex. We would shower and hang naked until I had to go get the boys. I wanted to "christen" every room, and we did except for Michael's room. I felt the same sexual vitality that I had in my late teens, early twenties and Johan admitted that my energy was inspiring him.

However, we knew that these good times were about to end. His son was coming back on Sunday from his time with his mom and Johan had scheduled to take him on a trip across the country.

Is that the beginning of the end? Once Michael is back and we are back to the routine of school, will I be more than just a summer fling? Did I throw away any chances I had with Bobby because a good-looking rich guy wanted me as his fuck toy for a few weeks?

These thoughts were haunting me, but I didn't show it to Johan. I enjoyed each minute I spent with him because I felt that things between us were destined to end badly.

On Tuesday, Johan asked me a strange question. "Would you be interested in going and performing at the amateur night at a reputable strip club I know?"

I shook my head. "You're more perverted than I imagined. Why would I want to do that? Why would YOU want me to do that?"

He smiled. "The logic is still the same. Your body should be seen, admired and wanted. I think that a strip club is the perfect way to accomplish that."

I raised my voice a little and spoke faster as I started to get annoyed. "First, I am not a hooker. Second, what if there is someone who knows me or Bobby? Finally, dancers are young and beautiful. Why would I embarrass myself into such humiliation?"

I bit my lower lip before continuing. "I think you want to show your latest fuck toy before you dump it. Did I win the contest of the ugliest fuck you and your friends could have over the summer?"

Sadness appeared in Johan's eyes. "If you honestly believe what you just said, you cut me deeper than I could imagine that you would be able to. Do you actually think that I just see you as a fuck toy? You're the opposite. I..., I..., I lo...."

Say it! Say that you love me Johan. It is your chance!

"I have wanted to show you to the world since the first time I met you. I have been trying to free the goddess inside you. I thought you knew by now how people see you, how desirable you're. Do you think that people faked it at the pool party?"

I shook my head. I knew that people felt something special about seeing my naked body.

Johan continued. "Stripping doesn't make you a hooker. You will do a dance and see how it goes. I will be there with you all the way. Regarding being recognized, I thought about it and I came up with an idea. You can play the masked librarian."

"The masked librarian? What do you mean?"

"Well, you will wear a venetian mask across your face to prevent people from recognizing you. I think that you should pull your hair into a tight bun, wear thick rectangular glasses and have little to no makeup. For clothes, I was thinking of a buttoned-up white blouse, a forest green cardigan and a gray pencil skirt. And of course, comfortable, sensible shoes. To finish, a lanyard that says library."

I visualized the look. It was the typical cliché librarian look, except for the mask. I liked it and suddenly the idea of stripping out of it started to make sense.

"Johan, I must admit I like your idea. But I have two questions. One, what if they boo, laugh at me, make fun of me, insult me or worse?"

A severe expression took over Johan's face. "It is a possibility. It is a very low probability, but it could happen. Here is what I propose. You can walk away from it at any time you feel it is wrong. And if this is the case, I will never ask you to show your body to others."

I took a deep breath as I asked the second question. "What will happen to us once Michael comes back in your life? There is no room for us in it."

Johan took my hand. "I've been thinking about it a lot. I don't have an answer yet, but I will find one. One thing I need you to understand and believe is that I cannot fathom the idea of being without you. Things are very complicated right now, but together we'll find a solution to this problem."

I gazed into his eyes, and I saw love, unconditional and powerful love.

You won't say it, but I know how you feel. Will you act on it? And do I love you? Are you just a nice summer distraction from a boring life or is this more?

"Jenna, if you don't want to do amateur night, don't. It was just one of my crazy ideas."

I gave him a long, passionate kiss. 'I will do it. It will be fun."

The boys were with my parents, and Bobby was happy to have the house to himself as I told him that I was going out with my girlfriends. He joked that we should go to a Chippendales show, so I could get my "energy" out. I called the club in advance to get the details. They told me to show up at the door at 4:00 PM. The show started at 8:00 PM.

I arrived early at the club and a bouncer looked at me with confusion on his face. "Can I help you, ma'am?"

"I'm here for Amateur Night."

"Seriously? Let me check with the boss."

He went inside and I heard him say. "Boss, there is an old broad that wants to enter Amateur night. What should I do?"

Why am I doing this? Is this going to be the most humiliating thing in my life? Is Johan wrong about me?

I didn't hear the answer, but the bouncer came back and said, "Follow me ma'am."

He led me inside the club and upstairs into an office. Behind the desk was a man with slick-backed hair, shiny with gel and neatly combed. He wore a Hawaiian shirt and wore a pinky ring. "Welcome, I'm Jimmy. I heard you want to enter Amateur Night."

My confidence was melting faster than a snowball in the July sun. "Yes, sir."

He looked at me from head to toe before saying. "This will be interesting. We don't tend to get MILFs here, but this would be a welcome change. Are you sure you want to do this?"

I nodded, incapable of speaking as my anxiety was rising.

"Is it for the money? Because there are simpler ways to make much more and much faster."

I shook my head vigorously as I got afraid of what Jimmy had in mind.

"A dare? Looking for a different experience?

"Something like that."

"Excellent. Before you sign the liability waiver, here are some rules. The age requirement is definitively not an issue, but I will need to see an ID. The show starts at 8:00 PM but I will post the schedule about thirty minutes earlier, so you'll get a sense of when you will get on stage. There is only one first prize of $500. You must pay the club a $50 entry fee, but you will keep all your tips and your lap dance money. Ongoing fee is $40 per lap dance of one song. You won't be able to do private "champagne room" as it is reserved to our regulars. You will have two songs which will be decided by our DJ. If you want some specific songs, tipping the DJ in advance and after is a good idea. It is also standard to tip security. Are you still in?"

I nodded.

"Now, you will need to go fully nude. The customers are not allowed to touch you but while you dance, we expect you to touch the customers with your hands and slap their face with your tits. Can you do that?

I hesitated a second before asking, "Not an issue but do I need to do lap dances? Can I just go on stage and that's it?"

"Of course, Sugar, but you'll be limiting your income. We don't provide outfits."

"Not an issue, Jimmy. I've brought my costume. I'll be the masked librarian."

"Masked? What do you mean?"

I showed him the venetian style mask that I planned to put over my face. "Would that work?"

"Well Sugar, this will be a first. I'm worried you won't make back your entry fee. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. 100%." I replied with bravado in my voice, but I was now convinced that it was going to be a disaster.

If the guy that runs the club doesn't think it will work, why am I doing this? Johan told me I could back away.

"One final thing. You need to be cleaned down there. So, if it is that time of the month, you cannot do it. And I would suggest an enema. I can sell you one for ten bucks."

I knew the price was crazy, but I hadn't thought about it. "Put it on the bill, Jimmy."

"You pay in advance, Sugar. Can I have your ID so I can fill up the paperwork?"

I gave Jimmy my driver's license and $60 in cash and he gave me a paper to sign. I quickly read it and it was the standard liability waiver.

Jimmy looked at me with some sadness in his eyes. "I would advise against dancing with the pole unless you know how to use it. The dressing room is the door on the left at the bottom of the stairs. The girls might be tough on you, Sugar, very likely make fun of you. But they won't be too hard as they won't see you as a threat."

"Thank you, Jimmy," as I took the bottle for the enema. "I've thicker skin than you'd imagine,"

As I walked down, I fought back tears. I wanted to run away from the club and hide under my bed.

Why do I think I can pull this off? This is a young woman's thing to do, not someone like me.

It took a lot of effort to open the door of the dressing room. Every woman present was twenty-five years old or younger. A blonde with prominent breasts and in front of the biggest mirror in the room asked, "What are you doing here? This is private for the dancers."

She must be the alpha female. I need to let her know that I know that.

In a sheepish voice, I replied, "I'm here for Amateur Night" as I looked at the floor.

She giggled and pointed to a corner of the room. "You go there and will have to wait for your turn to get ready."

The other women present for amateur night looked all so young and it made me feel so out of place. I stood there waiting for my turn. I heard the regulars and the amateurs making fun of me. Suddenly, the alpha female approached me. She was in fact older than I thought she was.

"First time?"

I nodded.

"Do you need money that badly? I can have you make a lot more and it will be private. It's more intimate than dancing but you make rent real fast."

"I'm not here for the cash. It's just something I've to do."

A concerned look appeared on her face. "Are you being forced to do this?"

"No. Think of it more like a dare."

She laughed. "Girl, you have ovaries of steel. I don't think I know many women of your age that would strip in public for a dare. You go, girl!"

We bumped our fists and she went back to her station. I looked around and saw that I had been vouched for. The comments about me had stopped.

The majority of the women were in some level of nakedness when Jimmy appeared with a piece of paper.

"Here is the schedule, ladies. Remember you only have two songs so get naked fast and get the dudes excited. The more excited they are, the more they drink and the more they drink, the more they tip. As a reminder, forty bucks a lap dance and no champagne room. This is only for our regular stars. The winner will be decided by me and Candy."

The alpha woman waived at us and took a pretend bow.

I looked at the schedule, and I was in the middle of it. There were a lot of contestants, and the amateur would likely last two hours. That didn't make the regulars too happy.

As it was getting closer to my stage time, I got into my costume and put on the mask.

Candy said, "You going to go like this?"

"Yes. It is part of the dare. Do you have anything to drink?"

She pulled out a small bottle of whiskey. I tried to get it, but she stopped me. "Nothing is free in this business."

"How much?"

"Ten bucks a swipe."

I gave her a twenty-dollar bill. "I need all the courage I can muster."

I took two big swipes, and the alcohol went to my head. I wasn't used to drinking liquor that fast, so it immediately changed my mood. The situation felt studently silly to me instead of nerve wrecking. I sat there smiling, waiting for the DJ to call me.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, our next contestant is Lola, the masked librarian!"

The DJ started playing a hip-hop song that did not match my act, but I had forgotten to tip him.

Live and learn, I guess.

My heart started palpitating and pearls of sweat appeared under my mask. I entered the stage hesitantly. I looked for Johan, but I couldn't see him, which added to my anxiety.

What am I doing here? You're on your own here. This is stupid and humiliating.

The reaction from the crowd was muted. I heard a couple of "What's up with the mask?" comments but nothing else.

I walked around the stage playing with the lanyard that said "Library" and decided to do the most cliché gesture I could do. I l gave a mean look to the nearest guests, put my index finger across my lips and said "shush." This generated a few giggles from the audience.

I moved around doing this, pretending to be upset, rolled my eyes and undid my tight bun. My hair flowed to my shoulders. I took off my rectangle glasses and dropped them to the ground. I put my hands on my hips and gave them another mean look. The answer from the crowd was a few laughs.

I took off the cardigan and again put my index finger across my lips. More noise came from the guests. I shook my head and started to slowly unbutton my white blouse. Encouraging comments could be heard which made me feel better about the whole endeavor. I took off the garment and threw it behind me. I was wearing the sexy bra that matched the panties I had when I unsuccessfully tried to seduce Johan. A few intoxicated guests yelled "Yeah."

You got the blouse down. Time for the skirt.

I unzipped the pencil skirt and let it fall to the ground on its own. I was wearing a panty that matched the bra. For the first time in my life, I was in my underwear in front of a large group of strangers.

I kept walking around the stage, trying to gather the strength to take off my bra. The audience started to yell "show us your tits" and "wipe them out" which had a paralyzing effect on me. I was getting close to running backstage when Johan approached the stage and put a crisp 100-dollar bill on it and winked at me.

That simple gesture helped liberate me. I whispered, "thank you" and unhooked my bra, I took it off and threw it away, but I covered my breast with my arm. Then, I slowly lowered my arm. I was now showing my sagging breasts to the whole club.

The reaction from the crowd flabbergasted me. The guests went completely wild, making one nicer comment after the other.

Full of confidence, I walked around shaking my boobs before turning my back to the crowd. I put my fingers between my panty and my hips and slowly pulled them down, revealing my unfirm ass. I stepped out of my underwear and turned around, showing all my untrimmed bush. I was now totally naked in front of all, wearing only the lanyard.

Here you go. This is the litmus test!

The audience lost it. Men howled as they crowded the stage, ready to give me their dollar bill. I approached them and copying what other women had done before, took their money and hit their face with my boobs.

After that, I went down on my hands and knees and moved around the stage like a big cat. One man threw a dollar rolled into a ball and I growled when it hit me. Quite a few others copied him.

I was about to do another trick when I heard, "Ladies and Gentlemen, that was Lola, the masked librarian."

I got up and was about to leave when the club chanted "MORE! MORE! MORE!" I looked at the DJ and then at Jimmy who nodded.

They love me. They want me. This is unreal. Johan was right.

"Your wishes are our commands, so you will get one more song with Lola, the masked librarian."

I danced a little before deciding to go for the grand finale. I lay on my back, facing the crowd and spread my legs very wide, making my pussy lips very visible. I pointed at my vagina and winked. One man understood and threw a rolled-up dollar bill in that direction and missed. This started to arouse me.

I can't believe it. I'm getting wet. This is unreal how much I'm loving this.

People kept trying and failing until a young man perfectly hit the entrance of my vagina. I got up and approached him and put my pubic area inches from his face. He could smell me and my arousal. I kneeled and hit his face a lot with my boobs. Finally, I dug my fingernails into his skull and kissed his forehead.

I lay again on my back, but no one was about to hit the entrance of my wet vagina. The song ended and I got up, picked up the pieces of my costume and the cash and left the stage under a loud ovation.

Candy was in the dressing room as I entered, sitting next to an incredibly beautiful young woman.

"Girl, you're a natural at this. I haven't heard the club go so crazy for an amateur in a long time. I loved your enthusiasm and how much you enjoyed what you were doing."

The younger woman asked, "How much did you make?"

Candy interrupted. "Cookie, she's not doing it for the cash. She won't do lap dances. It was a dare and she did it."

I counted the cash and looked at Cookie. "About 80 bucks, excluding the $100 that the person daring me gave me."

At that moment, Jimmy entered the dressing room. I suddenly covered myself as I was still naked until I realized the silliness of that reflex. There was no part of me that Jimmy had not seen. I lowered my arm and took off my mask.

"Sugar, you were incredible. We never get the crowd to ask for an encore. They usually just want to see the next girl. Your stage presence is insane. You aren't an amateur in my book. I suspect a few will copy your shoot your money in my pussy for a prize trick."

He stopped and lit up a cigarette. "Now, I have a proposal for you. Would you be interested in becoming a regular even if it's just part time? You can do it on your terms, deciding each time what you're willing to do: stage, lap dance, champagne room or penthouse."

I looked at Jimmy, confused. "Penthouse?"

Cookie shook her head. "This is where you fuck the customer."

I looked so shocked that Cookie laughed. "Are you surprised? What are you, a virgin?"

Candy stepped in. "Cookie, be nice. This is a new world for Lola. And a lot of girls don't do penthouse work."

Before I could say anything, Jimmy interjected, "So what do you say Sugar? When am I booking you next? Men want the real deal, and you're it."

"Let me think about it, but I have the feeling that it was a one-time shot."

Candy smiled. "You'll be back. I saw how much you loved it. You will miss it."

Jimmy added, "Just show up the day you want to do it, and I will make you the star of the night. Also, you have won the contest so to claim your prize, you will need to do an extra one song show."

I shook my head. I didn't care about the money; all I wanted was Johan inside me. "I'll pass. I need to get back home."

"Are you sure, Sugar? It is five hundred bucks?"

"You know what Jimmy, split it among the regulars who lost business today because of amateurs like me. It is only fair."

Jimmy looked at Candy and smiled. "That is a first. You're definitively a strange broad. But if it's what you want, I'll do it."

"Thank you, Jimmy. I'll let you know if I ever want to come back."

Johan was waiting for me outside the club. As I saw him, all the unsatisfied arousal I felt on stage returned.

I'm so horny. I need to fuck him right now."

"Jenna, I am so proud of you."

"Thank you." I pointed to a dark corner of the parking lot that was empty. "Can you drive your car there?"

"Yes, but why?"

I rubbed his crotch. "I want you, right now."

He smiled. "I get it!"

We got into his car, and he moved it to the spot that I pointed to. As he turned off the engine, I rushed to pull his pants down.

"Relax, Jenna. Let me pull the seat back and down."

I felt hornier than a teenage boy about to lose his virginity. I exposed Johan's half erect cock and took it in my mouth. I sucked it with passion, and it did not take long to get fully erect. I sat on him, lifted my skirt and pulled my panties to the side. Johan inserted his dick in my welcoming wet pussy, and I started moving my hips. I controlled the rhythm and rubbed my clitoris against him. Pleasure started to build and quickly overwhelmed me. The incredible feeling I had exposing myself to the crowd was finally being released and I let it take control of me. I had never been that aroused and in such a need of an orgasm.

I slid Johan's cock be in and out of my pussy while accentuating the action on my clitoris. This took me over the hedge, and I started shaking and screaming my pleasure even before the accumulated sensatory delights exploded inside my entire body. Wave after wave of climax washed over me and I shook, screamed and dug my nails into the car seat. The orgasm didn't seem to end as I lost all sense of time, space and reality. When my mind was completely gone, I collapsed on top of Johan and stayed immobile for a long time, adrift in another dimension.

When I opened my eyes, I felt Johan moving his hips and letting his hard cock in and out of my pussy. I kissed his ears and neck as he fucked me. It didn't take too many thrusts for him to explode and fill my vagina with his hot sperm.

We stayed there in silence for a long time. Finally, I whispered to his ear, "This was the best orgasm I ever felt."

Johan smiled. "The goddess is finally free."

XXXXX Cookie XXXXX

I went home feeling the happiest, most fulfilled I had ever been. Bobby had passed out in front of the baseball game, so I went straight to bed. It was the most restful night I had in ages. I didn't set up the alarm; I slept in and woke up after my husband was gone. My body was overflowing with energy, so I decided to go for a run, for the first time in years. I didn't run far or fast, but I was able to finish my run, which made me feel even better. I was walking on clouds.

I decided to pay a visit to Johan after lunch. He greeted me with a passionate kiss and a strong hug.

"So happy to see you, Jenna. I didn't expect you to stop by."

"I had to see you to thank you for yesterday."

"I didn't do anything. It was all you. You should see your aura. You're glowing. I have never seen someone so full of life."

"I think you have a lot to do with it."

"I just opened the door of the cage. Anyway, I'm glad you stopped by. I know that the boys are coming back from your parents tomorrow and Michael is arriving on Sunday. Right after that, I'm leaving on a trip with him. The thought of not seeing you is driving me insane."

I smiled and put my hand on his leg. "Well, let me give you something to remember me by."

I moved my hand towards his crotch, but Johan stopped me.

"You're still on a high after last night. This would be a downer. And Jenna, I want more than our wonderful sexual escapades. I want to go to sleep and wake up with you next to me. I want to take a walk downtown, go to a coffee shop and share a pastry, and go to the grocery store together. I want to live with you."

I was taken back by Johan's declaration, so I moved my hand away from his body.

Where did this come from? He wants us to live together. He hasn't admitted yet that he loves me.

"You know I'm married, even if it is a loveless marriage. You have a gazillion more money than I do. We both have kids. I'm not sure that what you want is reasonable or feasible."

"Jenna, I know it isn't. I also don't think that I deserve it."

"What do you mean?"

"You have the aura of a goddess. I'm a mere mortal compared to you. I don't believe I'm worthy of you. And this is killing me."

I shook my head in disbelief. "You're talking complete nonsense. Anyway, I've something I need to ask you. Jimmy asked me to become a regular or part-timer at the club. Would you be okay with it?

"Why do you need my approval?"

"Because I..."

I stopped talking. I couldn't say what I wanted to tell him.

Damn it, why am I asking? Because I love you and want to only do things that make you happy. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But last night had awoken something in me that I need you to be fine with.

"Because what, Jenna?"

"Because your opinion matters a lot. Because you've been right about me on everything so far. Because I need to know that the man I lo..., the man I fuck is fine with me stripping for fun."

Johan smiled. "First, I've never fucked you. We've always made love. Second, what matters is what you want, not what I want."

He gently put his hands around my face. "And third, I love you too." Johan deposited the gentlest kiss on my lips.

Finally, you admitted your feelings for me. You took your time.

I kissed him back. "So, where do we go from here?"

"Would you be open to leaving Bobby?"

I shook my head. "As much as I want to spend the rest of my life with you, my boys and my family come first. I feel bad for Bobby as I'm the one who cheated on him. Our marriage might be on the rocks but I'm the adulteress here. I'm the one who betrayed our vows. I need to do what is best for the boys, not for me."

"And this is another reason why you're an incredible woman. I'll do whatever is best for you, my Goddess."

Johan looked at his watch. "I have a zoom call in 10 minutes and need to prepare for it." He gave me another passionate kiss. "The next few weeks without you're going to be torture."

"I know. I have a final question for you. You unlocked the stripper in me that actually does it for fun. Did I become a slut? A whore?"

He shook his head. "These are terms created by men for women who enjoyed their sex life and their body. You're neither. You're an awakened goddess!"

I kissed him and left to go to the club.

I knocked at Jimmy's office door which was open. Two other men were present in the room. He waved me in. "Sugar, I'm so happy to see you. I was telling these guys how great you were last night. Tons of dudes wanted lap dances and more. You've a quality that men crave. You're real. That was the most successful amateur night we had in years. Are you coming to give me some good news?"

I smiled. "I think so. I want to come back as a special guest, maybe once a week. I will do one set as the masked librarian but no lap dance, no champagne room and definitively no penthouse. And I don't want to pay an entry fee."

"You drive a hard bargain. What's in it for me?"

"Well, as you said, I did drive the guys crazy. And I will stick around and talk to them and have them buy me drinks. But I will do that fully dressed. What do you say?"

"You got a deal Sugar. When can you do your first show?"

"Next Thursday. I need to talk to the DJ and say hi to Candy."

One of the men in the office said, "Can we get a free preview?

I shook my head. "Nothing is free in this business."

Jimmy chuckled. "You're learning fast, Sugar."

I walked into the dressing room, and Candy was talking to Cookie. "I didn't expect you back so soon Lola. You must have loved the feeling of being adored by the crowd as you stripped."

"You bet."

"So, are you now a regular?"

"Yes and no. I'm planning to do a show a week, unless I need more. And just dancing. No lap dance or worse."

Candy nodded. "The girls will appreciate that. You should have seen the demand for you last night. And they were all very impressed by you giving away your prize. This is a cutthroat business, and you're the first one giving away the cash she earned by showing her ass."

"As I said, I'm not here for the money." I turned around and was about to go talk to the DJ when I stopped and turned white as fresh snow.

"Lola, what happened? Did you see a ghost?"

I collapsed on a chair as I couldn't breathe.

Candy sat next to me and took my hand. "Breathe. Slowly. Deep breath. What did you see?"

"The man at the front table..." I couldn't say more. That was Bobby.

What is he doing here? It's a Friday afternoon. He is supposed to be at work

Candy peeked and looked at me with sadness in her eyes. "You mean Bobby? He is Cookie's regular."

He's a regular? How could I have been so blind?

"Let me guess. He's your husband."

I nodded, fighting tears. I wanted to speak but all the words stayed stuck in my throat.

Candy went to grab her bottle of whiskey. "Take a swipe. You're going to need it."

As I took a gulp of the liquor, she went inside the club and came back and called Cookie.

"Lola, I think that you need to hear the truth about your hubby. Cookie, give her all the details."

"I'm sorry I'm the one breaking this to you but your ball and chain has been my best client for close to two years. He was regular for a year before I joined, and he immediately had a thing for me. It started with lap dances that quickly moved to the champagne room and the penthouse."

He has been fucking her for over two years. And I 've been clueless for so long. How stupid am I?

Questions were exploding in my mind. I wanted to know everything. Fighting my tears, I asked in a broken voice, "How often?"

"Usually twice a week. Monday and Thursday."

Fuck him. These are his "I work late night" and "poker night with the boys." I am such an idiot.

"And it is the penthouse each time."

"Does he...? What does he pay you to do?"

"Usual fuck. He chooses the position usually. We did anal a few times, but I charge a lot for it, so he sticks to fucking my pussy."

Cookie's words were cutting me very deep, but I knew that she didn't mean too. She wanted me to know exactly who Bobby was.

No wonder he didn't feel like fucking me. He was banging this twenty something twice a week. Here I felt like an adulterer while he has been cheating on me for close to three years. I must be the dumbest woman in the world.

"And that is not it. You should see the gifts he gives me. Real gold and diamond jewelry. And I never do anything extra for these. I think he's obsessed with me."

I grabbed my face and let the sobs pour out of me. I cried until I had no tears left. When I finally was able to look at Cookie, she just said, "Sorry."

"It is not your fault. You provided a service he wanted."

She gave me a hug. "Sorry Lola, but I need to make my money."

I knew that she would be dancing on stage, and after a few songs, would go to the champagne room and then the penthouse. In thirty minutes or less, Bobby would be fucking her. And our bank account will be close to a grand lighter.

I need to check the bank account and start to gather proof. I am done with this fucker.

I gathered whatever energy I had left to get up. "Candy, can you do me a favor and tell Jimmy that I will likely not be there next week."

"Sure thing, Lola. Take good care of yourself. And remember, men are the scum of the earth."

"Not all of them."

"If you find one that is not, treat him as the most precious thing in the world."

I went back to the house and felt completely empty. All the high of the previous night had disappeared. Bobby came at his regular time and as expected, was in a good mood. I ignored him and when he asked why I was in a bad mood. I replied, "It's that time of the month." I couldn't face him. I wanted to hide in the arms of Johan, but I knew that it was impossible. This was a battle I had to fight alone. Luckily, the boys were coming back tomorrow after being with my parents. This was going to be a good distraction.

The next ten days were awful. I looked for the first time at our bank account and saw the amount that Bobby had spent on Cookie, and it broke my heart. He could have funded the tuition funds for both boys. He was the sole bread winner, but he put himself ahead of the family's needs. In addition, I knew now the lie behind his working late and poker night excuses and I kept imagining Bobby fucking her. That was not bothering me, after all I had cheated on Bobby with another man but knowing that he would pay for it and cover her in gifts was breaking my heart. Finally, I gathered the strength to confront him. After putting the boys to sleep, I went into the television room where he was watching the baseball game, and I turned the TV off.

Bobby got pissed. "What the fuck, Jenna?"

"We need to talk."

"Is this another one of your stupid striptease tricks?"

"I know that you have been cheating on me with a stripper."

I expected him to deny it but instead a smirk appeared on his face.

You find this amusing, you motherfucker? You find cheating hilarious?

"What makes you believe such a thing?"

"I was at the club. I spoke with Cookie, your stripper obsession."

His smirk got bigger. "What were you doing in a strip club?"

You're not even denying this, you piece of shit. What the fuck is wrong with you?

"I was there for amateur night and I..."

Bobby started to laugh hysterically. "You? Stripping in a club? This is hilarious. Did they boo you off the stage? Did they give you a mercy dollar bill? This is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. You. Stripping."

Anger started to rise inside me. I clenched my fists. "What's so funny?"

"Because you're the most undesirable woman I know. Your ass was never firm, your belly is big and disfigured by the C-section scar and your boobs are sagging so much, they touch your knees."

He kept on laughing and my anger turned cold. He tried to insult and humiliate me but instead he brought back Johan's words and the feeling I got as the crowd went insane as I got naked.

You slimy piece of shit. You had a goddess in front of you and you never saw her.

In a calm and controlled voice, I ordered, "I want a divorce and I want you out of the house, immediately."

"Gladly. I cannot stand spending another second with you. The best thing about getting rid of you is that I won't have to pretend I want to have sex with you. Fucking you was work. You were never a good fuck, even when you were younger, but you got worse as you got older."

The insults washed over me like water washes over fish skin. I stayed calm and silent and pointed to the door. "Out. Now."

Bobby went to our bedroom and packed a bag. "The only good thing about you was that you were good at blow jobs. You gave them when and where I wanted. Unfortunately, you had some wedding cake and lost your appetite for sucking me. Getting hard to fuck you is a Herculean task."

I just looked at him without saying a word. His words did not affect me as I knew from Johan how easily I could get him aroused.

As he was leaving the house, Bobby said, "You can forget about this place. You can't afford it once I'm gone. Be ready to downside your lifestyle."

"What about the boys? It will affect their schooling if we move."

"You should have thought about it before kicking me out for getting what you can't give me."

The following morning, I told the boys that their dad had gone on a business trip. I expected Bobby to contact me to see the boys, but I didn't hear from him. His plans became clearer when I went to the grocery store. The credit card was denied. I knew that it was far from maxed out, so I called Bobby,

"What did you do? The credit card is denied."

"I put a hold on it. From now on, each of your expenses will need my approval."

"Are you kidding?"

"No. The money is mine even if you will steal half of it. If you want some petty cash, you can always strip."

He started laughing uncontrollably. I hung up as tears started to fall on my cheeks. Bobby's cruelty was not something I expected. I never thought that he hated me that much and would care so little about the boys.

XXXXX Johan XXXXX

The next few days were quite difficult as the boys kept asking for their dad and I had to tell them white lies. The house felt empty and I felt alone. I couldn't tell anyone why Bobby and I were divorcing. I was too ashamed of the fact that he dumped me for a stripper. I needed help so I decided to go to see Johan with the boys for a playdate.

Michael, Zach and Justin were very happy to see each other, and I felt relieved seeing Johan. With the boys present, we couldn't express our affection, but his eyes were burning with passion for me.

I told him everything that happened with Bobby and Johan cried with me. It was cathartic to finally be with someone that felt my shame. He held me in his arms and caressed my head.

"Bobby will try to play hard during the divorce proceedings. But he's in for a surprise. I will bring the law firm I do business with and they will destroy him."

I shook my head. "It is not that easy. Yes, he cheated on me with Cookie, but he knows I stripped. The judge might buy his excuse of fucking her because our marriage was loveless and sexless but a mother who strips is a big no-no."

"Don't worry. Cookie will go on the stand and give all the dirty details. Jimmy will testify under oath that he has never seen you."

"This would be perjury. Why would he do that?"

"Everything in this business has a price."

I smiled. "I can't afford your high-priced lawyers. Bobby will know someone is bankrolling them."

"Actually, they would do it pro bono. They made enough money with me, so they would take your case and not be paid for it. They would sell it as defending an emotionally abused woman."

"Talking about money, let me tell you what Bobby is doing to me." I explained to Johan how my soon to be ex-husband controlled me through the credit card and how humiliating it was to have to get his okay before using it.

Johan rolled his eyes. "This is infuriating. Let me give you some cash and one of my cards."

"I certainly appreciate the gesture. This is very kind of you, but I cannot accept it. I don't know if and when I can repay you."

"I don't want you to pay me back."

I took a deep breath. "I don't want your charity, and I don't want to be paid to be your friend with benefits."

Johan looked at me and smiled.

"What's so funny?"

He got up. "I had planned a much more dramatic moment to do it but now is as good as ever."

He went to his bedroom and came back with a little box. It was from the jeweler Fred. Johan knelt on one knee and opened the box. Inside was an engagement ring that looked like a tiny celestial event that had been captured forever. The stone in the center was an elongated, icy-blue sapphire cut in an oval shape. It was held by delicate platinum or white gold prongs shaped like tiny crescent moons. I couldn't believe how beautiful the ring was.

"Jenna, will you marry me?"

Tears rolled down my eyes. "Johan, this is beautiful, but I can't."

Johan was so shocked that he opened his mouth, but no sound came out of it.

"I love you, but I can't marry you. It would be a repeat of my situation with Bobby. What if you get sick of me? I would again be alone with the boys with nothing. At least, if I'm single. I will have the alimony money. I need to put the boys first."

"I thought about it. We will not have a prenup."

"Are you crazy? How many millions do you have? You worked so hard to earn them. Why would you give half to me? How do you know I won't just dump you, take the money and run? I can't accept that."

"Because I can see your aura. You're a goddess. I can't believe that you chose to love me. This is the biggest gift you could have given me. You're a wonderful person. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. What is mine is yours."

I started sobbing with joy, incapable of speaking.

"Let's do it again. Jenna, will you marry me?"

I kneeled in front of him and gave him a huge, passionate kiss. "Yes. A thousand times yes." I couldn't say more.

"We'll have to play it smart. You'll have to go through the divorce proceedings alone, which will take a minimum of six months but more likely a year or more. You'll likely need to sell the house, but I'll help you find a place in the same school district for the boys. Heck, I'll buy a place and rent it to you if needed."

"Until the divorce is final, we'll have to keep our relationship under cover. What I expect is a lot of sleep overs for the boys where you sleep over too."

I smiled and kissed him again. "And if in the middle of the night, one of the boys goes into our bedroom because they had bad dreams and sees us in the same bed, what do we say?"

"That one of us had a bad dream."

I laughed. "Maybe we need to be a little more discreet than this."

Johan put the ring on my finger. "It is just a preview. We can wait a couple of months after your divorce is final before making it official. We can have a small wedding with your folks and mine and that's it. Let's keep it low key."

"That makes sense. I've one request for you, my future husband. Would you be okay if I strip part time? I wouldn't do it for the money but for the pleasure it brings to me and the audience."

Johan nodded.

"However, I have a problem. I can't go back to Jimmy's club. I don't want to see Bobby and I don't want Cookie to lose her best client. It would not be fair for her."

Johan smiled. "Not an issue. I know of another, fancier club. It is owned by the guy who hosted the pool party. I think you won't have trouble getting booked there."

A huge grin appeared on my face. "I guess Lola the masked librarian is back in business."

Johan gave me a delicate kiss. "It makes me the happiest man alive that you will finally share your body with the world with pride."

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Hope you enjoyed reading the story as much as I did writing it.

I want to thank Duill2 for being a beta reader and helping me take that story to the next level.

Please leave comments (public or private) to let me know what you liked about the story and what could be improved. Thank you.