Lust and/or Love Ch. 05

Authors Note: All characters in this are 18 and over. Any similarities with real people and events are completely accidental.

To my readers: I wonder if anyone really does read these messages or am I just pointlessly leaving random text in each chapter. In any case I think I'll keep doing it as long as I have something to say since it feels right for me in a way. Initially I wanted this chapter to be an exploration of Peter and Ariana's weekly routine and have them have lots and lots of sex, quite intimate moments and other stuff they can enjoy. But I guess I couldn't really help myself and made it quite story heavy still. Regardless I would say I am happy how it turned out and looking forward to what would come next for all of them. Slowly all the plans I have are coming together muahahaha... Anyway, life has been a bit hectic for me with my new job but I'm still writing this and my resolve to finish the story is still strong. I have no idea how long it would take me to reach the ending I have in mind for my characters but as long as I can I will continue to pursue it. Thank you all for enjoying my story so far and hope you continue to do so. Hope you enjoy this chapter ^_^

Peter

"So, any other fights you'd like to admit to?" Ariana said as we walked hand in hand back to our car.

"None that I can think of," I chuckled, admiring the forget-me-nots still so beautiful within her dark hair.

"Hmm, really? What about Frank?" She raised an eyebrow. "You kneed him in the crotch quite hard that one time."

"Yeah, well... I remember you said you did the same to him." I returned her look.

"Hmph, I did... but only because he cheated on me. So what's your excuse then?" She frowned, puckering her lips cutely.

"That he cheated on the most amazing woman in the world. As a guy I just couldn't let that one slide," I declared, puffing out my chest proudly. Then suddenly my heart clenched remembering my days around that. "Also..."

"Also...?" Ariana repeated concern in her voice. Then her eyes widened and she pursed her lips. "Natalie?"

I nodded, hating that I remembered her. "Anyway," I shook my head trying to ignore it. "So you're into cheesy romance stuff, huh? I gotta say, it kinda suits you."

"Huh, what's that supposed to mean?" She frowned at me.

"Oh, nothing really... just that you're adorable, my lady," I said, kissing the back of her hand. She still frowned at me, but the corners of her mouth were definitely curled up.

The rest of the way home we talked about other places we wanted to visit, anime we wanted to watch and ridiculous little dates we kept promising each other. It was really fun. These past few days with my sister had been just an absolute joy. It was funny how it all started from me drunkenly kissing her Thursday night, and now she was my girlfriend. My wonderful, funny, smart sister was my girlfriend. We had such amazing sex together. Went on an awesome date. And still, there were so many more things I wanted to do with her.

As we got home Ariana settled on the couch in the den, kicking her legs up on the table in front of the TV. She took out one of the flowers in her hair and smiled, staring at it. Taking out my phone, I positioned myself to take a full body picture of her from the bottom. Her long legs looked really sexy in the white short jeans she was wearing. Ariana winked, doing a peace sing with one hand, holding the blue flower in her other hand, and stuck her tongue out.

"Perfection. Thre magnifique," I proclaimed as I took the picture.

"Pfft, your French is awful." Ariana laughed. "It's Très, not Thre or whatever you just said."

"Oh, whatever Hermione. You're very photogenic." I commented, showing her the picture.

"Mmm, it's alright I guess." She shrugged, then added with a playful smile, "I know one thing that could make it better." Ariana pulled me to sit next to her and snuggled up to my shoulder, taking a selfie of us.

"There, now isn't that ten times better?"

"Hmm, yes, yes. I concur," I replied, trying to sound sciency-wise. "But we could make it even better." I took back my phone and readied to take the picture. Just as I took it, I leaned into Ariana and smooched her on the cheek.

"Not bad. Not bad. But let's take it further." She took my phone again and positioned it on the table so that we were in frame. She started a timer, and as it was ticking she told me to face her, and she wrapped one of her arms around my neck while the other arm held the forget-me-not between us. Just as the timer ran out Ariana kissed me. We made out for a while even after the picture was taken. I held her close to me, my hands around her waist I could feel her heartbeat. As we broke the kiss, we stared into each other's eyes.

"Well surely tha--" she started to say.

Wanting more, I kissed her again this time with tongue. Slowly my hands moved and I took off her yellow top, pushing her to lay on the couch. Tugging on my shirt, Ariana took it off as I removed her shorts.

"Damn, you're sexy." I groaned, her yellow lace underwear hugging her skin in such a sexy way. Placing my hands on her bare thighs I stroked at her bare flesh up, passing her torso, midriff and finally grabbing her boobs. Ariana moaned as I started to massage them in circles. I loved how nice and soft her breasts felt in my hand. If she'd let me, I would play around with them all day long. I leaned in for a kiss, our tongues exploring the other's mouth. Moved down her neck I planted smooches all over her skin and lifted her bra. As Ariana exposed her chest completely, I took one of her breasts in my mount and sucked on it.

"Oh, Peter..." she moaned, stroking the back of my head.

Encouraged by her moans I moved to her other boob. My hands moved down to her torso squeezing her tights and playing with Ariana's ass. I pushed a hand into her panties, my fingers running down her soaking pussy lips. As I played around with her cunt, Ariana legs went around me. It was like she was locking me in to be close to her and I loved it. My dick was so hard as I played around with her but I wanted to make my sister cum more than anything, right now. As her juices flowed around my fingers I felt something else flow out as well. The semen I shot inside her from our romp by the river was still inside her pussy and I wanted a taste. Moving down between her legs, I removed her panties, leaving her completely naked.

"Not so fast." She smiled playfully, covering her pussy with her hand. "You get naked, too."

Right away I removed my pants, my cock thrusting forward eagerly. Ariana groaned and licked her lips as she saw it. "Perv." I said and positioned myself between her legs again.

"Like, you're not." she chuckled back, then gasped as my lips touched her pussy lips.

Ariana's tart juices tasted amazing, mixed in with my cum. I licked and lapped at her pussy lips making sure I explored each part of her. Then I started fucking her with my tongue, wigeling it deep inside her depts to suck out more of our mixed juices. Even when I couldn't find any more, I wiggled my tongue inside her to give her even more stimulation. My nose was buried in the top of her cunt letting me inhale her intoxicating scent. Staring up I could see Ariana's chest move as she took in deep breaths. She let out such sweet moans of pleasure, her orgasm building. Her left hand was on my head, stroking my hair and pushing me to her pussy even more, while she played with her breasts with the right hand.

"Oh, fuck yes, Peter! Don't stop! Oh, just like that. I... I... Oh, fuck. I'm so close." she groaned.

Ariana's hips moved, grinding her pussy on my face and a few moments later her orgasm hit her. A stream of her juices flowed out, soaking my face and the couch below us. My sister groaned as her climax washed over her, all the while I made sure to suck and lick at her cunt to give her even more pleasure. When she calmed down, Ariana took my head in her hands and kissed me. She moaned, tasting her own juices on my lips. Moving her lower body to mine, my cock rubbed at her belly.

"Peter... I... I..." she stared at me, her words caught in her throat. I think I know what she wanted to say but the hunger in her won out and she said "I want you inside me."

Ariana pushed me to sit on the other side of the couch and got on top of me. She brought my head to her bosom and aligned my member with the entrance to her pussy. As she impaled herself on me I suckled on her breasts again, her muscles squeezing tight around me. My right hand reached around her, giving her ass a massage, while my left played around with her free boob. As my sister bounced on me, I focussed on her nipples biting and twisting them just a bit. Gasping from pleasure Ariana threw back her head.

"Peter! Fuck, yes!" she almost hissed. "Oh you, fuck me sooo, gooood. Fuck you're so amazing!"

"So are you." I groaned, letting go of her tits. "F-Fuuuck... Ariana, I'm so close."

"M-Me, tooooo! Oh, daaaammmm! Oh fuuuuck! Cum! Cum inside me, Peter! Fuuucck!" Ariana moaned as another orgasm overtook her.

Hearing Ariana's plea and her cunt squeezing me, sent me over the edge too. I started cumming ropes of cum over and over again until my balls started to shrink from the pleasure. Finally satisfied my cock softened and slipped out of her depths. We held each other for a few moments, until our heartbeats calmed down, too.

Ariana

"You really like creampies, don't you?" Peter said, squeezing my ass and rubbing his head in my breasts.

"Hehe, yep." I said stroking his hair. "I just can't seem to get enough of you in my life."

"More like inside you." He laughed, kissing the top of my chest. Reaching between us, he scooped some of our mixed juices leaking and sucked on his fingers. "Mmm, we taste amazing. Want to try?" I did and moaned at how good it was. My tongue rolled around his fingers, making sure to taste every part of his hand. "Damn. Such a sexy vixen you are. You are amazing Ariana."

"Hmmmp, and what is so amazing about me?" I cooed, batting my eyes at him.

Wasting no time to think about it Peter said "You're funny, charming, smart, caring, hardworking, you love with all your heart and most of all you're a joy to be around."

"Aww, thanks. Such a sweet talker you are. I better be careful or some other girl might steal you away." I said, poking the tip of his nose.

"Yeah? Well I'd kick myself to Hell and back if I let another douche take you again." Peter carest my cheek. Reaching for my hair, he pulled out one of the forget-me-nots and added "This is definitely one weekend I will never forget."

"Hehe, me neither. It was just so perfect. Peter, I..." again the words hung in my throat. The moment was perfect but damn it still felt too soon to tell him that, even though it was true. "I think we should clean up. We've made quite the mess of ourselves."

"Yeah..." He sighted and kissed me. "We should think about what to eat tomorrow, too. Can't keep eating store bought food all the time."

We got to cleaning up. First we changed each of our bedsheets and started a washer with them. As Peter got to cleaning up the couch I took the vacuum and cleaned the floors. It wasn't too dirty and we were done in less than twenty minutes. We decided to freshen up with another shower and as usual I went first. When I was done Peter again was waiting for me in front of the door for a kiss, before going in himself. "Next time, I'll definitely invite him to shower together." I promised myself. After drying off my hair, I dressed in some white plain and comfortable underwear and put on some foundation. I found one of Peter's shirts and on a whim decided to try it out. It fit me quite well so I put on a pair of his baddy pants too. Looking at myself in the mirror I definitely looked strange. It wasn't my usual style by any means, but guys usually like it when girls wear their clothes, right?

"Holy..." I got my answer just as Peter was exiting the bathroom mouth open with the most dumbfounded surprised look on his face I've seen.

"You like, bro?" I struck a pose for him, thrusting the side of my hip up and winking while doing a peace sing. Right then Peter's towel fell off revealing his erect penis thrusting up at me. "Hehe, I'll take that as a yes. Come hear." I pulled him for a kiss, feeling frisky again. As we made out I caressed his shaft, making him groan. He'd taken care of me so well the past few days that I just wanted to reward him for it. Kneeling down I engulfed the spongy crown of his cock and rolled my tongue around it.

"Ariana! Oh, fuck!" Peter gasped, his fingers going through my hair. "Fuuuk, you're sooo gooood at this."

Smirking at him as much as I could with his dick in my mouth. I bobbed my head up and down his shaft. The feeling of his engorged member sliding in and out of my mouth was just so exciting it made my pussy wet again. Sliding a hand under his pants I was borrowing, I rubbed at my clit. My juices were flowing so much I was definitely soaking my panties. I rolled Peter's balls in my other hand, giving them a massage and a squeeze so I could taste his precum.

Peter's knees bent, overwhelmed by pleasure. He gripped the sides of my head, thrusting his hips at me. It felt like he was face fucking me and I loved it. My mind hazy wanting to make him cum so much, my cheeks hollowed inward as I sucked at him. He was such a perfect fit for both my pussy and my mouth I wondered how well he would fit in my ass, too.

The thought of giving my brother my ass virginity excited me even more, my climax quickly approaching. Each time I bobbed my head on his cock I made sure to roll my tongue around it. Peter seemed to enjoy it, groaning as he threw back his head at the ceiling. His thrust became faster and faster to the point he was really fucking my face. I rubbed at my clit, on the edge of my orgasm.

"Sis, f-fuuuuckkkk." Peter moaned, hands gripping the sides of my head.

With a final thrust he started cumming deep in my throat. His penis pulsed as he came five times in my mouth and I sucked out another two out of him. The feel of his salty cum going down my throat sent me over the edge and I started cumming, too. My juices leaked so much, soaking my panties and the pants I've borrowed.

When he was done I slid my mouth off his dick with a pop and stood to kiss him. Peter moaned as we made out, thrusting his tongue in my mouth. We swapped his cum back and forth between us until it was completely gone. I found it so hot, how into that he was. None of my previous partners ever wanted to come near my pussy or even kiss me, after they came. Peter not only seemed to enjoy it, but also craved it. It made me happy. As we were making out Peter scooped me in his arms and carried me over to his room. He laid me on his bed and got on top of me to make out some more.

"Now, my lady. Time to return your favor." he said in his deep and sexy gentleman voice, while removing my pants and underwear.

Peter leaned in between my legs and started eating out my clit. His nose was buried in the small bush I had, while he nibbled and suckled on my bud. My brother's tongue rolled around it with such skill it sent jolts of pleasure throughout my body. Peter was so good my legs went around his shoulders, locking him in place almost on their own. Hearing him moan as he enjoyed the taste of my juices was such a turn on. My fingers buried in his hair, I pushed him even more to my pussy and rocked my hips as much as I could to grind myself on his face. Encouraged, Peter licked at my pussy lips before inserting two of his fingers inside me.

"You like that, my naughty lady?" he rolled his fingers inside me.

"Oh fuck, yes! Just like that, just like... THAT!" I yelped as his fingers hit my g-spot. "Ooooohhhh, fffffuuuuuccckkkk yeeeeessssss!" I let out a wanton moan.

My climax was quickly building again and it wouldn't be long before I came again. Peter focused on sucking on my bud again, his tongue out and stroking my pussy lips. The stimulation was out of this world. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I started to buckle and twitch. My screams and moans echoed through the room as my orgasm overtook me. The pleasure was so intense and overwhelming I started to see stars. I was like that for at least a minute or two though it felt like an eternity. When I finally managed to calm down, Peter was laying on top of me, face completely drenched in my juices. He kissed me, letting me taste my own juices on him again. I could definitely see why he liked it so much. It was like proof we belonged to each other.

"So much for the clean bed sheets." Peter chuckled, snuggled up to me.

"Yeah, I'm not sorry." I laughed, rubbing my head to his neck. "Damn it you're good though. I've never cum so much in just one weekend. It's almost hard to believe your exes' ever let you go."

"Yeah, well... Takes more than sex for a relationship. And I wasn't always like this." he smiled smugly.

"Oh? And who pray tell, taught you all this then?" I gave him a curious smirk. "Was it Betty? No wait, Zelda! You always had a sheepish grin after seeing her." Peter laughed, rolling over. "Aha, I'm right aren't I?" I said proudly.

"No, no." Peter shook his hand. "It was actually Becky."

"Wait what?!" I said, lifting my head surprised. "But she was always so shy and timid around people."

"Yeah well, when it was just us in bed man she was wild!" Peter said, staring off at the ceiling. "She was kinda submissive, but was glad to teach me all kinds of stuff too."

"Hmm, maybe she wanted you to become her Master or something?" I rolled a finger on his chest, wondering if maybe we should try it as well.

"Eh, honestly can't say for sure." Peter shrugged. "I think she was just experimenting a lot with me and figuring herself out, you know."

"So was she your first anal experience, too?" I raised an eyebrow still eager to try it out with him.

"N-No..." Peter's face dropped, looking away. "That... That was actually Natalie."

"What?!" I jumped up again, shocked. "You were this good with that bitch and she still cheated on you? Like what the fuck? How much of a slut can she be?" anger boiled in me knowing what she had and still couldn't appreciate it.

"Hey, hey. What's done is done, okay?" Peter rolled back over to me squeezing me in for a hug. "At least I have you now, right?" he added with a small strain in his voice.

"Always," I replied, stroking his hair and returning the hug.

We stayed like that for a while, sharing yet another quiet and intimate moment. Even before this unusual week, we've had moments like this--but never did they feel as comforting as these past three days. When the moment passed, we shifted to watching videos on Peter's phone again. They were funny, but I was only half paying attention to them while the rest of my thoughts were elsewhere. In what seemed like mere moments all my past relationships flashed before my eyes and how they all fell apart for one reason or another. But looking back on them -- all the good and all the bad moments I had with each of them -- it was that we were just so incompatible in so many ways. Still I wouldn't trade my time with them for the world. Not when it all now brought me so much closer to Peter. Because my brother was my world now.

An hour or so passed as we watched videos and it was time for ani-night. Both of us eagerly returned to the couch to watch more of Friren's adventures. Almost too eagerly actually since we only put our underwear back on.

"Thank god Fren doesn't know how we're watching the show or she'd blast us away with Zoltrack." I laughed like we almost avoided a cruel fate. But Peter didn't react, distracted by something else.

As the anime started we snuggled together, my head rested on his shoulder and his arm around my torso. The episodes we watched were fun as always and a new character joined Frieren's party. It was a real joy to see the story of these characters unfold, or at least it was for me. I noticed Peter had been unusually quiet--he was looking at the screen but his focus seemed elsewhere. As the third episode ended I paused the next one.

"Huh? Why'd you stop it?" He noticed after a moment, looking at me confused. "Is something wrong?"

"You tell me," I replied, my eyes furrowing at him like he was in trouble. "You've had that hundred yard stare for a while now. What's wrong?"

"Tsk, couldn't fool you, could I? You're cute when you're pouting" He chuckled.

"You shouldn't have tried in the first place! And stop deflecting!" I shoved his shoulder. "You promised... Peter--no more secrets, right?"

"Yeah, I know. It's just--" he looked away from me. "I don't know. Something's weighing on my mind but even I can't figure out what. Or even why?" He paused for a moment then turned to me again. "It's nothing to worry about, really."

I glared at him. Not angry, but not really happy either. I sighed and buried my head in his neck, my hands around him. Giving him a small smooch, I whispered in his ear "When you're ready to talk, I'll be here."

We watched the forth episode of our ani-night session in silence and didn't continue for more. After that it was time to go to bed. With the weekend over, the work week was going to keep us busy and we needed plenty of sleep for an early morning. As we were headed for bed though Peter turned to his own room instead of following me to mine.

"H-Hey, um, Peter--" my voice trembled, calling out to him.

"Huh? Oh! S-Sorry, reflex." He smiled half heartedly, scratching the back of his head.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" I squeezed his arm to make sure he didn't lose his way again. The look I gave him must have been so pathetic and sad, because his face changed from lost in thought to surprise.

"I-I'm fine, really." He placed his hand on my cheek and kissed me. No tongue. Just a deep, passionate kiss, where our lips intertwined and his hand pressed me to his body. "Come on, let's go to sleep, my l--" he paused, that distracted look returning. He tried to cover it with another halfhearted smile and added "my lady."

Snuggling up in my bed, I just felt sad that he wasn't telling me what was bothering him, especially since we made a promise. He gave me a promise. Part of me wanted to shove him for keeping it from me, and yet another part of me told me to be patient. That whatever it was, I should trust him to tell me when he is ready. I don't know why, but I felt if I kept trusting him then it would eventually make our relationship stronger. Hanging on to that hope, I gave my brother a goodnight kiss and closed my eyes, my head resting on his shoulder.

Peter

Well, call me out, Ariana. You've caught me in the act.

Still, I had no way of explaining it--of my pondering, and of the testimony I would eventually offer her. But a yearning sensation had suddenly been tearing at my heart.

It made me hate myself so much.

Ariana is the most important person to me, and yet I couldn't stop my mind from going somewhere else. Or rather to someone else. Why did I have to think about my ex's now of all times? I had everything with my sister, and relatively nothing with those other people. I'm just the worst--and undeniably guilty. I tried banishing my thoughts of them, but the more I fought them, the more they persisted.

Of course, given my terrible disposition, Ariana noticed right away. She wanted me to tell her... But how could I tell her of something like this? That for some reason, Ariana, I was thinking of my past relationships so much that I couldn't any longer think of you..

"Why? Why? Why? Why was I even thinking about that, now?" I screamed in my head, trying to take comfort in feeling Ariana next to me, but instead it only made me feel even worse.

Even so, I refused to let go of her. I feared that if I did that I would never hold her again. In the beginning of my life, I was given one thing. She was my greatest gift.

These were my final thoughts as I eventually managed to fall asleep, my mind finally resting.

The next day both of us awoke in annoyance at Ariana's alarm. Usually she wakes up before me. This time, just before opening my eyes, I could feel her lips pressing warmly against mine. Seeing her smile at me first thing in the morning was such a joy. In fact, my heart said it was everything. I smiled back, squeezing her close to me.

"Hey there. How're you feeling?" Her fingers fiddled through my hair.

Instead of answering her I groaned, rubbing my head against her chest and giving her a sleepish puppy-dog smile.

She giggled cutely. "So I guess you're fine now, aren't you? I'm glad. I'm gonna freshen up, so feel free to sleep in until your alarm goes off, but I'm going to need the room after that. Got a meeting and I might need to be on camera." She pecked me on the cheek before leaving.

My mind was still waking up--it took me a moment to realise what she meant by me being "fine now", and all the same thoughts from yesterday came tumbling in again. The feeling of me being an unfair jerk to my sister wasn't far behind, too. "Get some sleep? No way!" Right now I didn't even feel like I deserved to be in her bed. Damn it! I can't stay like this. I can't stay here and do nothing. After splashing my face and making us some coffee I sat down at the kitchen table and started investigating myself.

"Did I want any of them back?" Thankfully the answer was a quick and blunt "No." My heart intervened, proclaiming that it still had feelings for Sandra--but only because we had broken up so recently--and even then I still wanted her only as a friend. It finalized its thoughts and denied the same charges.

"If it's not love, then what is this strange tightness gripping my chest? And why is it so strong? And why can't I just let go?" Frustrated, I slammed my head on the table.

"Ouch, that sounded like it hurt," Ariana called out.

"Not as much as it should have." I laughed, preparing for another iteration of self-punishment.

"And hurting yourself solves nothing." Ariana grabbed my face with two small hands, and held me to her waist. She looked at the time and sighed. "My meeting starts in a couple of minutes. You'll have your tasks to run too, and then we're off to the gym. After that, if you're still feeling down about something, I want you to talk to me, alright?" She caressed my cheeks, giving me a gentle smile.

"Alright." I took her hand and gave it a kiss. "Wait, I made you coffee." I stopped her before she left and handed a cup of ice coffee.

"Just how I like it. Thanks." She kissed me on the cheek.

I went to my room and got a headstart on my work. After taking the Friday off, my back log was a bit full, not to mention I had to take on some server monitoring work for the colleague that covered for me. Thankfully it was all manageable stuff. I was already done with half my tickets by lunch and felt like taking a break. Per Ariana's request, I went to the store for some groceries, after which she used her break to make us home-cooked steaks with sauce. I relished its almost divine flavor, and it really gave me the energy to finish up my work ahead of time. All that was left was to verify that some tests worked and to attend a team meeting.

As the tests were running I sat back to take a breath. Thankfully my thoughts quickly returned back to Ariana instead of anyone else and I found myself missing her presence. Which shouldn't really happen since she was working in the room next to mine and we even saw each other for lunch. Yet I could sense how awkward things were between us. Cursing myself again for this distance I've put between us brought me back to thinking about my ex's again. Only this time a single moment of each of them came to mind, along with a question that for some reason angered me.

"Why could I say it to them so easily but not to Ariana now?" I pondered, finally sensing the core of my issue.

Deep within my heart I wanted to confess to Ariana how important she was to me. Yet each and every time I tried to, the words just didn't want to come out. Why? I stared at the ceiling replaying the past in my head and how everything always fell apart.

I was fourteen when I had my first girlfriend Nikol. She was a year older than me and found my general nerdiness amusing. She was fun to be around and was really patient with me especially with how immature, impatient and straight up down bad I was to get in her pants. The teenage hormones had really hit me hard and I tried everything to get her to sleep with me. Be it grand or small romantic gestures, show her I could be a macho man for her, tell her how much I loved her. But every time I tried to spark her interest in that she would pull away. In the end we had a big fight over it and we broke up. That was the first time Ariana had come to comfort me from a broken heart. As the two of us talked, I realised how much of a child I really had been with Nikol, thinking only of myself, being a total embarrassment in public and never really considering what she wanted. Nikol needed someone fun to be around, but also someone mature she could have a serious conversation with. I definitely wasn't that guy.

A year later I met Brightney--or Betty, as we all came to call her. We met at a fair and the two of us instantly hit it off. We had a good relationship on the surface, but really I wasn't being myself with her. Maybe it was because of how things turned out with Nikol. Betty was a lot like her, so I suppressed a lot of my nerdiness and goofy personality. Not that it did me much good in the end, since Betty caught on and laid out to me how stupid I was for pretending I was something I wasn't, just to be with her.

That was the day she gave me a more candid perspective on life and who I ought to be. It really changed my outlook. Even though I fumbled with her terribly, we stayed together for awhile more, growing even closer and eventually we ended up being each other's firsts.

Everything changed when I affirmed to her those three sacred, but damned words. Initially she wasn't ready for such a commitment and needed some time, yet it never seemed to come. After a year and a half with her I couldn't wait on her anymore and we broke up. On that day, both of our hearts were torn in two, but I at least had a shoulder to cry on.

During my second to last year of high school I got together with one of my classmates Zelda. The two of us had been in the same class for years and after gathering the courage to ask her out, she agreed. Initially we had a good time together and she even was quite surprised how mature I seemed--which surprised even me. I wasn't trying to hide who I was, the things I liked and even expressed genuine interest in her life, goals and dreams. The two of us spend so much time together I thought I had found the one.

But fate had other plans for us. By the end of our school year she got a huge opportunity to study abroad. I was really happy for her but I also knew what that meant for us. Both of us knew but didn't really say it. At least not out loud. We stayed together as long as we could until it was time for her to leave. I still remember vividly the last night we spent together and how we just embraced as if to engrave ourselves in the other's memory. It was a special moment just like the first time we said those precious words.

After Zelda left I was a depressed wreck. Losing any motivation for anything in life, I started neglecting my studies, my health and even lost motivation in all my hobbies. Chad, my parents, my teachers were all worried about me. But only one person managed to pull me away from this lonely part of my life.

Now continuing her studies at the next town over, Ariana stayed with us for the weekends but after seeing the state I had deteriorated in, she stayed for two more weeks. During that time we had so much fun together playing games, binging anime and going on trips I started to smile again.

When it was time for her to leave again I almost didn't want to let her go, even if it was until the next weekend. This time however I found myself with a new sense of drive in life. I put all my effort into my studies and applied to go study in the same city as Ariana. Wish I could say why I did it, but I guess I wasn't ready for the good times we had together to be over just yet. And boy did we have so many of those ahead of us.

When we weren't inside consuming our hobbies we liked to go travel around and explore. During one of our travels I met Becky, a cute and shy girl that quickly had me under her charm. It was fun when the two of us hung out, especially when we were alone. Then her quiet demeanor quickly shifted and she became a sexual vixen. We had so much sex, exploring and doing so many different scenarios we barely did anything else. But I wanted a deeper connection with her so I tried reaching out. After I shared my feelings with her I was turned down on the spot. It wasn't that she didn't like me, in fact it was just the opposite. She explained to me she was an aromantic so her developing actual feelings for some was next to impossible. That was the day she broke up with me saying that I deserved better. Someone that I could love and be loved in return, while on her part she jokingly added she would search for her perfect fuck buddy.

Regardless of all that I was still left pretty messed up from the whole deal. Ariana tried to cheer me up as per usual but even with her help I still felt alone. A few weeks later I met Natalie. She was just coming out of a bad relationship herself so we instantly started to bond over it. Hell we even got crazy getting drunk and spent the night together. And that is how things went between us in general--crazy, stupid and often sometimes risky. For a while it was fun. Like we were fully enjoying and exploring our youth and getting so drunk on it all I really thought I was in love with her and the best part was she loved me as well.

The only real problem was she couldn't get along with Ariana from the start. According to my sister, Natalie was a bad influence on me, while Natalie thought Ariana was just being a prude. From there things between them just escalated more and more. Natlie started going even more crazy getting drunk, spontaneously buying crap she didn't need and spouting hateful offputing stuff. A couple of times she tried to drag me into her shenanigans but thankfully I was always sober enough to know when to stop. When I pulled back Natalie didn't like that. She would accuse me of how I didn't appreciate her and not wanting to be with her. I just wrote it off as her running her drunk mouth.

One day while we were hanging out I got a call from Ariana sounding really upset that she needed me. I was going to rush to her but then Natalie took the phone from me and hung up. To this day I couldn't believe what she said to me. She accused Ariana of manipulating me to rush to her side just because they didn't like each other. I was at a loss for words. How could she even think that? Sure they didn't like each other but to go that far seemed unreal. I wrote it off as one of her episodes and left. When I got to Ariana I found her crying in bed. She had a huge fight with her boyfriend -- the dumb ass Frank -- and was in need of some company. I was able to calm her down for the night but in the morning she was gone. That same day Natalie came over and we had a fight over what my priorities were. I tried to reason with her but she kept spiraling over and over about how I don't even want to be with her until she left in anger.

I was really getting tired of her bullshit and all the toxicity was becoming too much. Now thinking back on it I don't even think I liked myself when I was with her. It seemed to bring out the worst in me. Thankfully I realized it just in time because the next day I found her naked in bed with one of her friends. When I did there was no anger or sadness in my heart. If I had to put a word to it would probably be relief or maybe even freedom, but there wasn't any joy in it either. In any case it wasn't something I could dwell too much on since Ariana had some more drama with her own heartbreak and I needed to be there for her.

I felt myself standing still for a moment as the memory of my last relationship came to mind. Ariana and I were on a shopping trip and Sandra had saved me from having to wait around while my sister tried on the same clothes at least ten times. After she lent us a hand with some fashion tips, almost on a whim I asked her out. For a long, long time then everything seemed just right. Ariana and I were having a good relationship despite not seeing each other much. I was still able to enjoy my hobbies a decent amount and had someone I could cherish, as well as support her in her own goals and dreams too. Life was good for about a year and a half. Then everything started falling apart again.

Sandra had been all the best parts of my previous relationships and then some, yet it still wasn't enough. We got along well enough, we supported each other and our physical compatibility was great. But we lacked a certain important connection that slowly but surely tore us apart. At first it was the little things, like getting bored when we were attending events the other was interested in. It went into our conversations where though we could follow along our responses were becoming impersonal and dull. When it became too much for the both of us we talked it out and decided we should take a break and leave some space for the other.

Almost three weeks later we got back together but it was all just the same old stuff as usual with us. I think both of us really wanted this to work and that's why we pushed through it for so long but it was just exhausting us in a different way. Finally five days ago, her text came and it was over between us. And in four of those five days so much had happened between me and Ariana it was unreal.

The pop up for my meeting came up snapping me out of my trip down memory lane. Thankfully it went by pretty fast and I still had some time left before it was gym time. I returned to stare at the ceiling, focusing only on a single question.

"Now that I know what is bothering me, what should I do about it?"

Ariana

Usually I didn't mind my job, but today I absolutely loathed it. Most days I would handle front-end website design and development. Today though it was just full of meetings that were starting to fry my brain. Some clients were having a major issue with the product and because of all that I barely was managing to get to any of my actual tasks.

Thankfully all the client issues were resolved by lunch time and I got to hang out with my brother for a bit during lunch. We had some nice steaks and seeing him enjoy them gave me a much needed boost. It would have been better if he at least hugged or kissed me but I could tell something was still on his mind. Returning to my work and blasted through as much work as I could before finally clocking out. Looking at the clock it was about an hour before we'd have to go to the gym, so there was plenty of time to pack my bag. I looked to the side wondering what Peter was doing at the moment.

"Had he managed to solve his problem or was work keeping him too busy?"

Just as I was pondering if I should go to him my phone dinged with a message. I was surprised at first to see it was Sandra texting me asking how I was doing. For a moment I stared at the message blank faced, instead of answering her on a whim I decided to call her.

"Hey, there," she chirped cheerfully. "Didn't expect you to call. What's up?"

"Oh, you know. Life, work and other BS like that."

"Ugh, you too, huh? You wouldn't believe the crappy customers I've had today." She whined, then added with a chuckle "Can't believe I made it past lunch without throwing a fit."

"What I can't believe is you're still working at that store. By now you should have had your own fashion line and taken the world by storm," I commented.

"Aw, thanks. I am still working a bit on all that but anyway... Uh... I wanted to ask you. How's Pe-Bear doing? Is he... No, are the two of you all right?" her voice strained.

"We're fine-ish, I'd say. My ex hasn't been causing us trouble at least." I laughed, trying to hide my own worries about what was going on with Peter.

"That's good. That whole situation was scary. And he looked like he had a screw loose. Oh, uh, s-sorry... I-I didn't mean..." she stampered her speech at the end.

"It's cool." I interjected. "He wasn't always like that but bad choices lead to bad results." I chuckled.

My heart clenched for a moment if I really did make the right choice to wait on Peter.

"And, uh... how is Pe-Bear doing?" Sandra asked, distracting me away from that thought.

"Still using that pet name for him?" I laughed.

"Well he said he didn't mind. It feels weird not to call him that." She sounded bashful.

"Did he?" I wasn't surprised. Peter always looked out for others.

"Also you have your pet name for him too!" Sandra blurted out. "You always call him Pete, don't you?"

"That's not much of a pet name though." I argued, surprised she noticed. I don't think I used that since we started dating. "Anyway back to your question. Pete's fine." I almost said the 'r' in his name. "A bit under the weather but he's figuring stuff out."

"Oh..." is all Sandra responded with.

"Hey, don't worry. He's been through the ringer before so he'll jump back up again, eventually." I said, trying to convince myself of that as well. Even so, I could feel something was still bugging me. Like I wanted to ask Sandra a certain question, but was afraid to hear the answer to it.

"Okay. Would you keep me updated?" this time Sandra sounded cheerful.

"Will do."

"Also, um. I was wondering, would you like to go for a coffee sometime?" she asked.

Her request stunned me for a moment and gave me a naughty idea.

"Oh? So you broke my poor brother's heart and now you're aiming for mine. Have you no shame, woman?" I tried to sound as melodramatic as I could.

"H-Hey! Don't twist it like that!" Her voice squirmed.

"Couldn't resist." I laughed. "So what do you say for tomorrow around this time? I'll send you the location."

She agreed and after that we hung up. It was strange being so friendly with her but in a way also comforting. I hoped in the future she could be a good friend to us like Emily and Chad. Thinking about that possibility, a thought occurred to me of what might happen if all of them knew. Would they accept us, or throw us to the fire and let us burn? I banished that thought just as fast as it came to me and packed a bag for gym clothes. Dwelling on stuff that may not even happen is pointless now. Not when I am close to finally having him near me again.

We met just as I was at his door, both of our bags on our shoulders. At first he was surprised, then he smiled. But behind that smile I could still tell something that still troubled my wonderful brother's mind. I so wished to take him in my arms and talk with him about it. Maybe even yell or shrug him a bit for not following our promise so far. Above it all he was my... my everything, and I so hated to see him troubled.

Right now though we shouldn't keep our friends waiting. Returning his kind smile I took his hand and led him out. As we waited for the elevator to reach us his smile was becoming more genuine, especially when I held him in my arms. But the sinking feeling I had banished before returned, this time reminding me of another part of my conversation with Sandra.

"Pete..." I called him.

When I did his smile melted a little. Even if it wasn't much of a pet name, for some reason using it felt wrong, even so it was necessary to keep our facade.

"When we get to the gym, you should call me Ari." I continued.

Peter's smile faded almost completely. He didn't say anything. Just quietly nodded and we continued on. We held hands and kept close all the way until we reached the gym. Once there we were greeted by a frightened Emily running up to us.

"You're here!" She took our hands and started pulling us in. "Hurry! Chad's in trouble!"

Right away we rushed to the main area, passing Emily and pulling her along with us. The gym was mostly empty, except for a few guys here and there doing their routine. What drew our attention was the ring. My eyes widened as I saw Chad in it taking punches one after the other. It didn't look like a friendly spar either. The guys he was fighting had his back to us but I recognized him right away. I knew he was angry but to see him being so brutal and merciless was a shock. Peter rushed out the ring calling them to stop but it fell on deaf ears.

"NICK! STOP IT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs just as he was about to throw another punch.

That got his and everyone else's attention. He turned slowly towards us, spitting his mouthguard to the side. His narrow gaze aimed at me, not even acknowledging Peter as he passed him by to check on Chad.