Busted Pt. 01

I was working that Saturday with my landlord, Ron.

Ron was a semi-retired, old-school career banker who owned about a dozen rental properties. Instead of hiring a real estate management company, he did all the small repairs and coordination himself. Besides getting him out of the house and keeping him busy in his spare time, it gave him a certain MacGyver-esque sense of pride in his accomplishments, proving that, at least to himself, he could, in fact, do more than, as he put it, "be just another pencil pusher."

Ron offered a deal to us since we had been dependable renters at another place he owned nearby, a small one-bedroom condo with a patio sun roof. He had a rental house come vacant and offered it to us as a lateral move. We didn't have the money for a deposit, but he said that we could move in anyway and I could just work it off Saturdays helping him do the minor repairs to this list of HUD homes he'd contracted to bring up to basic federal standards. He'd pick me up at 8am and usually get me back about 4pm. The work was not too hard and Ron, though ten years older, did the work of two men and was, in general, an easy person to get along with while driving around all day.

Ron always liked to come by the house because of my wife, Linda. Linda had worked as a nude dancer for years, still had the looks and the body, and always made sure to give Ron an almost eyeful. Somehow, she would manage to answer the door before I did, and always wearing at least next to nothing.

Ron got his first exposure to Linda's minimalist wardrobe preferences when we lived at the condo. It was a unique design in that it was one of only a couple of units in that complex whose roof was a patio. Advertised as units with "sunroofs," it was still misleading until you actually went to see it. One look and Linda was hooked.

"Of fuck yes, baby!" she'd exclaimed, when Ron originally showed us the unit as prospective renters. She looked at me with those sultry bedroom eyes that she could also leak out like fog on any unsuspecting nearby males, in this case Ron.

"I'll be able to lay out any time of the day I want."

Ron was clearly enamored with Linda from the moment he met us, which is not an uncommon occurrence with Linda, and always further complicated by her unnervingly sensuous body language, suggestive undertones inherent in just the way she interacts with people, especially males, and her brash, filter-less comments, usually sexual in nature, about her own favorite eclectic tendencies and horizontal proclivities. When Linda gushed about the 'sun roof', Ron made some comment about bathing suits that he obviously thought was risqué. But Linda waved it off with her hand.

"Oh, sweetie, I tan nude" she laughed, playfully touching Ron's chest.

Ron blushed and managed an agitated laugh. After an awkward silence broken by him nervously pointing out minor perks he'd missed on the first walk thru, he produced the paper contract he'd brought with him and signed us up. With fond farewells and chit chat move-in dates, we parted.

I started the car. Linda said,

"I guess I laid it on a little thick, didn't I?" she giggled.

I put the car in gear and backed out.

"Yeah, the 'I tan nude' thing gets 'em every time," I laughed.

"Well, I can't help it," she protested. "I just say shit, you know. It just comes out."

"And so?" I replied, pulling out into traffic.

"And so what?" she said, looking at me.

"And so, well, I dunno," I went on, fishing for a hook. "'It just comes out' isn't a valid excuse anymore..."

"Huh?" she replied, confused.

"Sounds like I need to put you over my knee," I said, tongue pushing cheek in a tease. "You know, the old 'Bad girl, go to my room' kind of discipline..."

She slapped my arm.

"Oh, now I get it," she said sarcastically. "Is that all you fucking think about?"

I made a mock serious face.

"It's all I fucking think about when it's all you fucking talk about. We can't even rent a little old condo.."

My voice trailed off for effect. She sighed.

"Yeah," she said, wistfully. "Poor Ron did turn about three shades of red ..."

She looked at me for a moment like she'd just found a lost kitten.

Then we busted out laughing.

No sooner had we moved in when, of course, Linda began tanning naked on the roof patio. I joined her a couple of times initially, but was working so much it was infrequent as best. Most people who have tanned naked wear a suit to the location they're tanning at, remove it and put it back on there and leave. They usually rarely stray from their lounge chair or cot while naked.

But Linda, being Linda, when she was at home, usually wore nothing anyway. So tanning naked on the roof never involved a suit with her because any time she spent on the roof she spent it naked because she already was naked anyway, whether working on flower pots, exercising, talking on her cell phone, or just casually loitering along the rail at the end, enjoying the view ... until she was the view, which was right away.

So rarely a day went by when Linda was not up on the roof doing something with nothing on. One thing I noticed while on the roof, and I pointed it out to Linda, was that though ours was supposed to be one of just three condo units having a private roof patio, it wasn't really separate at all, but rather all the same roof only with numerous different levels with some more private than others. Our stairs ran up the interior of the back wall past the den in our condo to a roofed enclosure with a full-sized lockable door at roof level. From a cursory scan of the roof, the patio was spacious and appeared to be completely private. But when you looked a little closer, you weren't so sure. The roof as a whole gave the impression that if you knew where to go, there existed a spot somewhere from which each of these so-called private patios could be clandestinely observed.

Linda sensed right away that she was being watched, and by multiple sets of eyes. And the problem was that she liked being watched. It made her wet thinking about it, and the more watching the better and her the wetter. It made her so horny that she lured me up there several times to have sex before I realized what was probably going on and suggested some caution. She threw a fit because I had never held back when she wanted to fuck me. Never. Then sure enough, I was thankfully vindicated. Ron called, explaining about how some of the neighbors had been complaining. Linda was not happy to hear that.

"Ron, do you think I'm hurting anyone doing this?" Linda asked.

Her voice sounded very concerned but she winked at me while asking.

"Well, no, I don't think you are, Linda," said Ron, sounding a little shaky.

"I know you don't, Ron, because you're cool," went on Linda in her sultry voice. "You could probably accidentally interrupt me tanning, like Ed's guy friends have, and not even bat an eye, couldn't you?"

There was a cough and a muffled sluicing sound.

"Ron, you ok?" asked Linda, soothingly.

"Yes." he replied finally. He coughed again. "Caught, caught something in my throat.. sorry."

"That's alright," replied Linda. "Can I call you right back, Ron? Have to run an errand."

"Ok," said Ron.

"Promise I won't tan nude until I've talked with my favorite landlord again."

More muted sounds, odd background.

"Ok, talk to you soon," said Ron.

Then he hung up.

Linda and I kicked around some ideas to try and get a better perspective. She said that she'd already done some 'preliminary fantasizing' about fucking Ron and working him into a fun friend. Only Linda could invent such a phenomenon as 'preliminary fantasizing'. I mean you had to admit it sounded clinical enough to be a bona fide psychological condition common to all women and so recent it had not been added yet to the medical lexicon. I wasn't sure how that would fix anything, but then Linda could do that kind of thing and I'd seen her do it.

She decided to tan anyway, before calling Ron back, explaining that it would get Ron all worked up knowing that she'd been up there, thinking about him. She came back down after awhile, still naked as always, clutching a towel. She was suddenly asking me about how I was going to solve all this, and I was wondering where was this coming from out of the blue. It bothered me too because it was these kind of situations that could so quickly get turned into one that I was somehow now responsible for fixing or making happen. But Linda being Linda remained standing there, still naked, waiting for an answer.

"Well, I don't know, Linda. What do you want me to say?" I replied, holding up my hands questioningly. "I mean that's really not a fair question, ya know?"

"Not fair? Why is that?" she asked.

Then she waved off her reply, put a hand on a naked hip, and said, saucily.

"It's a simple question, Ed," she explained. "It really is. And it doesn't have to be complicated, unless you make it complicated, which you are trying to do, like you do everything."

I looked at her, confused.

"Huh?" I asked, then, "Oh wait, you're right, baby!" I exclaimed. "I really just wanted to see how long you'd stand there naked and argue about it."

She rolled her eyes.

"You're such a dick, Ed," she replied trying to be mad.

But she couldn't. A grin crept onto her lips.

"See! See!" I pointed at her grin, teasing her. "And c'mon. That's not fair calling me a dick. You thought it was funny too and you can't hide it."

"Whatever," she replied, flipping her hand, stepping by me now.

She bit my ear as she passed, hissing,

"Dick, Dick, Dick"

I squeezed an ass cheek in return.

"Well, at least gimme a doggy treat for that?" I joked.

She made a face at me.

"Doggy treat?" she replied. "What is this, Lady and the Tramp?"

"Well, now that you mention it," I prodded.

She looked at me, her brow knotted.

"What the fuck does that mean, Ed?"

I was getting frustrated with all the talk so far today. It was going nowhere. We needed a break. A fuck break.

"It means, Linda,.." I said,

I took a step towards her.

She took a step back.

"That I am.."

I took two steps towards her this time.

She took two more back.

"Going to chase"

step, step..

"Your ass down,"

step, step..

"And fuck you!"

step, step

"The fuck you are, Mr!" she blurted.

"Oh the fuck I am!" I barked back.

step, step

Linda paused, with an odd, funny smile, her eyes drifting past me.

I glanced back.

She turned and fled.

"Dick, Dick, Dick!", she laughed down the hall.

I dashed after her.

I caught up to her in the bedroom, before she could lock the door, cornering her by our big four-poster bed.

"Ok, Ok, you win!" she giggled, palms up, chest heaving,

"Consider me ravished."

"Ravished?" I asked. "No, ravished is too classy, and I'm not and neither are you. But nobody knows that except me."

I paused, grinning, trying to catch my breath.

"And ME NO TELL."

Linda crouched slowly.

"Oh, you no tell, huh? Well good for you, Tonto," she mocked.

Her eyes were gliding around in search of some way to dart past me. I stood fast, feet planted wide, jaw set with my arms crossed on my chest, the classic pose of the Lone Ranger's long-time pal.

"Flight not option, oh naked Hot Squaw of Tonto."

Arms still crossed, jaw still set, I nodded towards the bed.

Linda shrugged in resignation.

"Oh well, alright," she said with a naughty grin.

"All this hot pursuit and nude tanning talk does make a girl wet ..."

She stuck out her tongue at me.

"But you have to promise to talk dirty Tonto to me."

She laid back on the edge of the comforter on the bed, grabbed her knees and pulled them up, back, and apart. Gorgeous tanned thighs opened to moist pink beckoning wetness.

That familiar temporary immediate loss of breath occurred, followed by the fixed stare of awe common to guys experiencing this phenomenon, that most sacred of guy visuals, the Holy of Holies every guy is inexorably drawn to thru his entire life but so rarely gets to actually see in such I-MAX clarity and splendor as Linda was providing right there before me : the incomparable wide-open pussy

And as described, I just stood there, marveling.

"Linda," I whispered, in hushed, guy-mode awe. "You truly are a babe."

She curled a finger at me. I stepped near.

"Ed?"

"Yes?" I replied.

"This is the part where you put your cock in me, remember?"

I guess we both needed a fuck break and didn't know it, because that day, I just could not get enough of Linda, nor she of me. We ended up staying in bed half the day. I did have the day off, which didn't happen very often during that period in my life, and if there was one way I preferred spending my spare time, it was in bed with Linda.

So Linda never did call Ron back. But Ron called her. On speaker phone, we found out he had this other rental house all of a sudden come available. The previous renters had bailed. We met Ron there the next day. It was a nice 3-bedroom with an in-ground pool. Ron said that he hoped it would be private enough for her to tan. Linda said that because it was a house she was sure it would be fine. But he was welcome to come by any time and verify. He didn't know what to say to that.

After we moved into the house, Ron always liked to have any reason to come by. Because the nude tanning was something Linda continued doing at the house, it was an open subject between her and Ron and one I quickly noticed he always tried to work any conversation he had with Linda back around to. It became a running joke between Linda and me. Whenever Ron did come around, like on Saturday mornings to pick me up to help with the HUD homes, she'd make sure to mention the nude tanning.

The first Saturday Ron came to pick me up, I started toward the door and she put a hand on my chest and stopped me.

"Let me get this."

She twirled in front of me in just her tee-shirt. She wanted me to see that she wasn't wearing panties. I hung my head and shook it.

"What?" she asked.

"Poor Ron. You are so bad," I grinned.

The doorbell rang again.

She ran to the door and opened it and gushed charm at Ron. She did not try to hide behind the door.

She stood there so he could see her completely in that tee-shirt.

(Ron's muffled voice)

"Why thank you, Ron," I heard her say.

(Ron's muffled voice)

"Well, Ron," she teased. "Yes, this t-shirt is all I'm wearing."

She giggled.

(Ron's muffled voice)

"Uh huh, sure does. Makes me feel sooo sexy, you know?"

(Ron's muffled voice)

Linda laughed.

"Yes, Ed prefers I be nude or nearly nude, like this tee (giggling) around the house."

(Ron's muffled voice)

"Oh, ugh huh, yes, I love it!"

(Ron's muffled voice)

"Oh my, Ron!" she said, "Well aren't we bold and naughty this morning!"

(Ron's muffled voice hurriedly speaking)

"Because it's you, Ron, of course I might. Ed? No, No, never. He is the BEST. It just depends on the person and and the, well, you know, the contribution ..."

(Ron's muffled voice hurriedly speaking)

"Of course! I will tan today! And I'll be thinking of my favorite landlord too!"

I reached the front door then and stepped around my wife who was still all smiles. Ron's face was the usual three shades of blushed.

"Good morning!" I said. "Ready to hit it?"

"You bet!" Ron nodded. We left. Ron was walking ahead of me briskly toward his truck and flat trailer. I stole a look back at Linda as she was shutting the door. She paused and pulled the edge of her t-shirt up and flashed me her cunt, then shut the door.

(to be continued)