Six Feet Over/Under Ch. 21

Ordinarily, Vanessa's first alarm served as a chance for a small sliver of indulgence. Nearly every minute of her average day was meticulously organized, and by setting an alarm fifteen minutes before when she actually needed to wake up, she gave herself a chance to rebuff the outside world and retreat back into her blankets. Today, instead of burrowing into her covers, she reached for the girl that had cradled her back to sleep last night. She couldn't feel the ghost's hands anymore, and in her half-awake state, hoped that inching backwards might reunite her with Scarlett's warm, comforting grasp.

She found nothing but the indifferent chill of the wall beside her bed. Confused, Vanessa rubbed her eyes and propped herself up to look around the room.

"Scar?"

The normally sour ghost floated off the desk across the room and moved to sit next to Vanessa. "Mornin', Blueberry. How'd you sleep?"

Vanessa smiled as she heard her cheesy nickname. "Fantastic. You're surprisingly warm for a ghost, you know. Why did you leave? I was hoping we'd be able to wake up together, too."

Scarlett broke eye contact and buried her gaze in her lap. "Right, well, uh... It didn't stick. It felt kinda awkward pretending to lie next to you even though we weren't touching anymore, so I decided to move to my normal spot on your desk."

"Shoot, again? What about now?" Vanessa slid her hand towards Scarlett, turning her palm up as an invitation. The ghost looked over, hesitated for a moment, then attempted to make contact. Unfortunately, her hand phased through Vanessa's without the tiniest hint of resistance. Scarlett sighed in defeat before pulling her hand back into her lap.

"Just my luck," she muttered. "I finally find a girl that actually likes me and most of the time we can't even touch."

"This has happened twice now, Scar." Vanessa threw her covers aside and slid her feet to the floor, moving to sit next to the ghost. "The first time I was drunk off my ass, but last night I was completely sober. The fact that it's happened twice makes me think it's not a fluke. What did last night and the night of the party have in common?"

"Uh," Scarlett stammered, "well, probably nothing to do with the moon. It's been, what, not even a week?"

"Hm. Good point." Vanessa tried to recall both nights to think of other similarities. "I would never have thought about that. What made you think of moon phases?"

"I'm a lesbian," Scarlett said with a shrug.

"I... what? How are those things related?"

"How many girls have you actually dated before?"

"A few!" Vanessa protested. "Well, okay. Two. And not for very long. Look, I don't date very often, okay?"

Scarlett chuckled. "The stereotype is that lesbians are super into astrology and tarot and all that witchy stuff. Hell, Tessa has a tarot deck she loves to pull out at parties. I'm pretty sure she uses it as an excuse to score alone time with cute girls."

"Well, it's not moon phases," Vanessa said as she stood up. She silenced her next alarm before it went off, then headed towards her closet. "Still, both times it happened really late at night. Both times happened here in my dorm. It's not inebriation, but maybe it's still tied to mental state? Like, I wasn't drunk last night, but I was super tired because of how late it was."

"I really hope the answer isn't that it only works if you're on the verge of passing out," Scarlett muttered. "I don't need any more shit to feel guilty about."

Vanessa wrinkled her face as she tried to solve the puzzle. While she turned over every aspect of the two nights, she absentmindedly grabbed an outfit from her closet and changed out of her pajamas. Halfway through changing, she realized that she hadn't bothered to close her closet door, and had effectively been stripping in direct line of sight of Scarlett. The ghost, however, had politely turned to look away from the closet.

For a brief moment, Vanessa imagined Scarlett doing the opposite. As her face flushed with warmth, she zipped her pants and returned to their thought experiment. "How long were we able to touch last night? I fell asleep before it stopped, so I can't say."

"Shit, beats me. Maybe, like, thirty or forty minutes? I dunno, I'm bad with that kind of thing."

After grabbing a sweatshirt to fend off the autumn chill, Vanessa began double checking her backpack. "Thirty or forty minutes? That's... Hm." A faint shadow of an idea began forming in her mind, but she didn't want to falsely raise Scarlett's hopes at this stage. Instead, she set a reminder on her phone for much later in the day, then entered the common area to get herself breakfast. Her roommate was also getting ready for her day, which forced Vanessa to pause her conversation with Scarlett. She tried to eat breakfast as quickly as possible, then headed out early, excited to simply meander around before classes started.

As they left the building, Vanessa slipped in her earpiece and set a course for Brew Love. She'd barely taken her first steps when Scarlett spoke up again. "So, are we gonna actually talk about last night?"

"What's there to talk about?"

"Are you serious? Blueberry, we fucking kissed! We fell asleep in each other's arms like some... some cutesy old married couple, and the only thing you seem interested in is making it happen again, which like, hey, I appreciate that, but also... Shit, I don't know. It feels like something we should talk about, right? Isn't that what people normally do in relationships?"

"Are you saying that we're in a relationship?" Vanessa asked with a devious smirk.

Scarlett's face turned bright red. "Well, that's not-- I mean, I'm not not saying that, I just-- Look, you talked to Ruby, you know how much I fucked up my last relationship! I'm good at exactly one thing, and that's pushing people away. Do you honestly expect me to be normal about whatever this is?"

After checking her phone and seeing she had plenty of time before class, Vanessa slowed down. "I like you."

"Okay, you said that last night, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm dead."

"You're fun to be around," Vanessa continued as if she hadn't heard Scarlett's words. "You're always true to yourself, for better or for worse, and you make me want the same for myself. I think you're kinder than you give yourself credit for, and that you push people away because you're scared of seeing them get hurt. You forced me to go to a party, but because you stayed with me that whole night, I ended up having an amazing time. You took care of me during my first hangover, and you were the first person to tell me that my parents are too harsh on me. It took years of preparation, fear, and courage to even tell them I wanted to go to Aurelius, and they've always done everything in their power to make me regret that decision. Because of you, I finally believe that I made the right choice in standing up for myself and coming here. Because of you, I'm no longer terrified of every tiny decision that crosses my path. I know that you're dead, Scarlett, and while I ache with curiosity to see what a life with you might look like, I... I know we're never going to have that. Everything ends eventually, Scar; why should that mean we can't be happy now?"

As she finished talking, Vanessa took a deep breath to calm the sea of mixed emotions bubbling beneath her thoughts. She hadn't expected to have so much to say, but she didn't regret any of it. After a few moments of silence, she looked back towards Scarlett; it was strange to think of her being so quiet. She caught the ghost with an unusually pensive look on her face, and when she caught Vanessa's gaze, she finally responded.

"Shit, Blueberry, that's... I don't know what to say. You almost make me sound like a halfway decent person." Scarlett sniffled and looked away, quickly rubbing her eyes. "I guess I... you know. I like you too and stuff. Just don't expect any fancy monologues or whatever."

Vanessa quietly laughed to herself. "Of course not, Scar. I know you're not that well-spoken."

"Hey! You're not allowed to agree with me!" Scarlett protested. The two of them playfully bickered for the rest of the morning, eventually falling back into their usual routine once Vanessa's classes started.

-----

Hours later, once Vanessa finished all her tasks for the day, she set a course for the edge of campus. Ordinarily, she would be heading for the football stadium to prepare for the next stage of their investigation, but today she had no such plans. Instead of heading west for the Athletic Campus, she walked north towards Ekstápoli.

"So, who's today's suspect?" Scarlett asked excitedly.

"We don't have one!"

"Wait, what? Why not? Is something wrong?"

Vanessa shook her head. "Nope. We're just taking a break from the investigation today."

"A break? That doesn't sound like you in the slightest, Blueberry. No offense," Scarlett said with a chuckle. She quickly floated several feet up, looked around, then added, "So, if there's no investigation, where are we going?"

The two stopped at a crosswalk as Vanessa pushed the signal button. "Have you ever gone to the forest preserve?"

"Uh... I think I might've smoked there once or twice? I've never been a big nature person."

"I've been wanting to go ever since I started school, but with all my classes and homework--not to mention the investigation--I never found the time. Since it's pretty nice out today, I figured it would be a great place for our first date!"

"Whoa, hold on, a date?" Scarlett flew in front of Vanessa. "We're going on dates now?"

"What, you don't like me enough to take me out on a date?" Vanessa teased.

"That's not what I-- I just meant that-- Ugh!" Scarlett blushed as she stumbled over her words. "I do like you, but I guess I just... I don't really know..." she trailed off, the end of her sentence nothing but nonsensical muttering.

"I'm sorry, what was that last bit?"

"I said I don't know what people do on dates! Are you happy?"

"You?" Vanessa asked, somewhat incredulous. "Aren't you the one always bragging about all the girls you've hooked up with?"

"Yeah, hooked up with!" Scarlett countered. "I know how to flirt with girls at parties and stuff, but that's an entirely different beast to actually dating them. Flirting is all about body language and subtle clues and whatnot. You and I can't touch, and even if we could, we'll be out in public. What are we supposed to do?"

Vanessa quickly strolled across the street, then continued towards the nearest entrance to the forest preserve. "I'm not exactly a genius at this either, Scar; I told you earlier today that I haven't dated very many people. Still, we've been so focused on the investigation that we haven't had much time for anything else. You mentioned Sparky the other day, and it made me realize how little I actually know about you."

"Alright, well, what do you want to know?"

"I don't know, anything. Did you have any favorite movies growing up? Who was your first crush? What's your sister like? Do you have any favorite memories of, like, family vacations or something? I want to know about you, whatever that means."

As Scarlett furrowed her eyebrows thinking of a response, the two of them passed underneath a large decorative arch made of spiraling wrought iron bars. A heavy wooden sign hanging on its front read "Demali Forest Preserve," and a wooden kiosk nearby held dozens of stacks of pamphlets, all of which contained information about the park as well as detailed trail maps. "We had an old DVD of Edward Scissorhands, and I watched the shit out of that."

"That old Tim Burton movie?"

"Yeah! I loved the idea of a boring normal town being completely upset by some cool, edgy badass with weapons for hands. And in the end, he gets to run away and live in a creepy mansion! How cool is that!"

Vanessa failed to stifle a laugh as she grabbed a pamphlet from the kiosk. "I don't think that's the point of the movie, Scar."

"Hey, I said I liked it a bunch, not that I understood it." Scarlett floated closer to the ground, eventually pretending like she was walking next to Vanessa. "I guess, in hindsight, it's kinda ironic I liked that movie so much."

"How so?" Vanessa looked at Scarlett and smiled. She'd never seen the ghost do anything but fly, but seeing her walk made this date feel all the more real.

Scarlett hesitated, absentmindedly rubbing the inside of her left forearm. "I mean, I told you all about the accident, right? Did I tell you why me and my parents were fighting?"

"If I remember correctly, you'd stopped taking your meds and your parents were trying to convince you to start again."

"Antidepressants, specifically," Scarlett clarified. "Starting in... shit, probably freshman year of high school? Something like that? Things really fell apart for me. I fell into a huge depression spiral that lasted until... well, until I died, really."

Although tempted to reach for Scarlett's hand and comfort her, Vanessa held back. If her theory was correct, they wouldn't be able to touch right now anyway. "What happened?"

"I'm sure, at the time, I could have rattled off a million different things that were pissing me off, but honestly, it was kinda nothing. There was just this pit inside me that I didn't understand, and it made me furious. I was angry at myself for feeling that way, angry at other people for not understanding, or for trying to offer advice that never worked. You know, typical teenage crap. I didn't exactly have, like, booze or sex to distract myself, so I... I hurt myself."

Vanessa's eyes fell to Scarlett's arms, and beneath her fidgeting hands, she saw what the ghost meant. A pang of guilt appeared in her gut; she felt terrible that she'd never noticed before. "Scar, that's awful. I'm so sorry."

Scarlett shrugged. "It is what it is. Not like it matters now, right?"

Ugh, way to go, Vanessa. Your first date with Scarlett and you accidentally push her into talking about crippling, years-long depression. What am I supposed to say now?

"What about you?" Scarlett asked, snapping Vanessa out of her thoughts.

"Hm?"

"What movies did you like as a kid?"

"Oh! Uh, I was typically more into books than movies. Mostly because of my parents, they were adamant that books were better for my education," Vanessa said. A slight breeze swept through the trees, knocking a few more leaves loose and scattering them across the path. "But, every once in a while, they'd let me watch a movie as a treat. The one I remember most was that old Atlantis movie that Disney made a while back. I loved how the hero was special because of how smart and well-read he was. Plus, being smart led to him saving a lost civilization, and he got to marry the pretty girl at the end! Honestly, I'm not sure how it took so long for my parents to figure out I was bi."

"Oh my God, you're such a nerd," Scarlett muttered. Looking over at her, however, Vanessa caught her smiling. "I guess you're my nerd, though."

Scarlett looked back, and both girls blushed before glancing elsewhere.

"What made you pick Aurelius?" Vanessa asked. "Did you grow up around here? Were you looking for a particular program?"

"I was an undecided major until the very end," Scarlett said. Although the thought of having no plans made Vanessa shiver, the ghost seemed weirdly proud of this. "And I grew up a bit closer to Chicago, out in the suburbs. I mostly ended up at Aurelius out of convenience. They've got a lot of great scholarships, even for losers like me, so it didn't break the bank to come here. Plus, it was just far enough away to justify living on campus, but not too far that I had to abandon everything about my hometown I liked."

"I'm pretty sure Aurelius doesn't have Loser Scholarships."

"They totally do, they're just hidden from overachieving busybodies, which is why you can't see them," Scarlett said before sticking her tongue out.

They both laughed before Vanessa continued. "What I mean is that scholarships have to be tied to something, they don't give them out without a reason. Were you hoping to study anything in particular? Did you write an amazing essay that blew their socks off?"

"Yup, I wrote an essay about how they'd be doing every girl on campus a favor by inviting me, and then--" Scarlett stopped herself, then sighed. "No, that's not... I didn't start college without a plan. I was technically an undecided major, but I might have had some ideas about what I wanted to pursue. They were really weak ideas, and I wasn't entirely sold on them, but... I dunno, I didn't fully give up until the accident, and that happened after I started."

"What did you want to do?" Vanessa asked quietly. "If that's okay to ask."

"What, you think I'll talk about horrifying car accidents and self-harm, but not school?"

"Am I wrong?"

Scarlett paused, then scrunched her face in annoyance as she realized Vanessa was completely correct. "Ugh, how do you do that?"

The two of them arrived at a small fork in the path. Vanessa opened her pamphlet to double-check all the different paths winding through the forest preserve. After finding a route that seemed to take a reasonable amount of time, she guided Scarlett down the left fork, then silently gestured at the ghost to continue the conversation.

"Again, I'm not saying that I was super into this idea, but... I had a bit where I kinda thought studying psychology would be a good idea. Like, maybe one day I might be able to help other people sort out their own completely nonsensical depression and shit."

"Aww, Scarlett!" Vanessa cooed. "That's such a lovely idea!"

The ghost once again blushed bright red. "S-shut up! It was a stupid idea, and I'm dead anyway so it's not like it matters!"

"That's not a stupid idea in the slightest! I think you would've made a great therapist!" Vanessa briefly cast her thoughts back to her secret art project that she'd recently ordered materials for, then smiled happily. "It's kinda funny, isn't it? We both came to Aurelius looking to get into some kind of therapy. Makes me wish I'd met you back when you were alive."

"Trust me, it's better you didn't," Scarlett muttered, a scowl on her face.

"Come on, were you really that bad?"

"I totally was! Do you remember how much you hated me when we first met? That wasn't even my worst! Back then, I was in a better mood than normal because I still thought being dead was super cool. Plus, you talked to all my old coworkers and friends and stuff, you saw what they all thought of me." Scarlett tried to kick a nearby rock, but her foot effortlessly phased through it. With a huff, she settled for shoving her hands in her pockets. "I would've been terrible to you, Blueberry. The only way we could've gotten along would have been if I was trying to sleep with you, and even then, I wouldn't have cared about who you were. Just that I thought you were hot or whatever."

Hoping to cheer Scarlett up, Vanessa kicked a different rock on her side of the path. "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Y'know... think I'm hot," Vanessa muttered.

Scarlett blushed again before quickly looking away. She nervously scratched the back of her neck, then said, "I mean, yeah, obviously. Did you see yourself in that dress? Like, holy fucking shit, Blueberry. Tessa's an idiot for letting you get away."

Memories of the heated dance floor returned, and Vanessa briefly found herself back in that carefree mindset. "I don't know, I wasn't all that interested in her."

"Psh, come on. I was there, I saw the two of you going at it."

Vanessa briefly considered beating around the bush, but remnants of her drunken confidence bolstered her resolve. "Yeah, but I was thinking of you. That dance floor was so crowded, so heavy, and she wasn't the one that showed me how to enjoy myself. You were. You were dancing with me the whole time, and I wanted to feel closer to you, but I didn't think we'd ever be able to touch, so..."

"So you made out with Tessa? Girl, that's so messy!"

"Why did you think I left her on the dance floor to chase after you? Heck, the following morning, when all my memories were still a blur, I honestly thought the two of us had made out instead."

"Well, if nothing else, I'm glad your first college party got to be so stereotypical. Getting absolutely shit-faced, making out with a stranger, wishing you could make out with the friend you went with... Girl, you were living the dream."

"Maybe we can do it again sometime," Vanessa said. "Though, preferably without the hangover. Even if you're super cute when you're trying to take care of me."

"Well, I don't... Shut up!"

The two of them looked at each other again before a fit of laughter overtook them. Their conversation continued for hours afterwards, long past when they'd left the forest preserve. They talked through dinner in the cafeteria, they talked through the entire walk back to Vanessa's dorm, and they quietly talked through most of the TV show they pulled up on her computer. In time, the late hour caught up with Vanessa, and they happily whispered goodnight as she swaddled herself in her comforter.

-----

Several hours later, deep in the middle of the night, Vanessa's alarm went off. She'd almost forgotten about it in the midst of her lovely day with Scarlett, and very nearly went back to sleep before she remembered why she'd set it in the first place. She sat up, rubbing her eyes to force herself awake, when Scarlett spoke up.

"Blueberry? Why is your alarm going off?" the ghost asked, floating closer to sit next to Vanessa on the bed.

"Because I have a theory, and I want to test it," Vanessa said through a sleepy smile. She grabbed her phone and unplugged it before checking the time.

2:58 AM.

"It can't wait until morning? You remember it's not a weekend, right?"

"Oh, now you care about my classes?" Vanessa teased. She shifted to sitting on top of her covers, then inched closer to Scarlett. "Here, turn and face me, just like I'm doing."

Scarlett, although obviously confused, did as she asked. After she settled in, Vanessa reached out and attempted to grab the ghost's shoulder. Just as she expected, her hand passed through Scarlett without the slightest hint of resistance.

"Was that the test?" Scarlett asked.

"Shush," Vanessa muttered. "Just trust me, okay?"

She checked her phone again: 2:59 AM. Butterflies began fluttering in her stomach, and she inched closer. Her eyes caressed the ghost's shoulders, appreciating the way her long black hair cascaded across her pale skin. Leaning forward, she took great care not to touch Scarlett. Their eyes met, Vanessa drinking in the delicate, unusually vulnerable gaze of Scarlett's deep brown irises. Vanessa angled her head as if moving in for a kiss, and Scarlett followed suit. Vanessa absentmindedly held her breath, listening closely to the excited, nervous breathing of the ghost. Their lips were less than an inch apart, and Vanessa closed her eyes to listen intently for a noise coming from the campus outside.

In the distance, muffled by the thick walls of the dormitory, Vanessa heard her cue. The clock tower struck three in the morning, and she pushed forward, her lips meeting Scarlett's.

Scarlett sank into her embrace, setting her chilled fingers behind Vanessa's neck to pull her closer. Vanessa couldn't help but smile as she felt Scarlett's grasp, as she lost herself in the passion of the moment. She wrapped her arms around Scarlett and hugged her tight, her fingers gently brushing against the ghost's exposed midriff. They stayed in each other's embrace for close to a minute before they paused, eventually pushing their foreheads together in a moment of shared peace.

"I knew it," Vanessa whispered.

"Knew what?"

"When you started talking about moons and witchy stuff, it made me realize what our last encounters had in common." Vanessa clicked her phone and showed the time to Scarlett: 3:01 AM. "Three in the morning. The witching hour."

"Wait, but that means..." Scarlett hesitated, her eyes flicking back and forth as she pieced everything together. "Fuck, Blueberry, that's... I don't know what to say."

"Then don't, Scar."

Their lips met again, and they happily lost themselves to the passion of their discovery. Minutes later, Vanessa eagerly laid down and pulled Scarlett on top of her. It was the only way for Scarlett to properly lay down, and in time their giddiness quieted. Scarlett hugged Vanessa tightly, their heads resting side by side as they enjoyed each other's company.

"When did you stop saying Blueberry ironically?" Vanessa asked, the specter of sleep hovering at the outskirts of her words.

"When did you start enjoying it?" Scarlett countered.

Vanessa chuckled as she idly traced her fingers across Scarlett's back. "Touché."

Scarlett angled her head higher and kissed Vanessa again, her fingers gently playing with Vanessa's bright blue hair. "You don't have to do this for me, you know."

"I want to, Scar."

"What about your classes? Your schedule? I don't want to--"

Vanessa cut her off with another kiss. "I like you, dummy. Being able to hold each other like this... it's incredible. You're incredible, Scar."

Their eyes met once more, and Vanessa saw glimmers of moisture gathering in the corners of the ghost's eyes. "I... feel the same way, Blueberry. I wouldn't trade this for the world, even if I know it can't last forever."

The thick blanket of darkness surrounding them seemed to double in size, as did the weight of Vanessa's eyelids. Her slow breathing matched Scarlett's, whose thin black hair now draped across Vanessa's chest like a delicate silk scarf. She wished she didn't have to go back to sleep, but she knew she couldn't fight it any longer. "Scar... hold me until I fall asleep?"

"Always, Blueberry. I'll see you when you wake up."

They kissed one last time, and sleep finally won out.