About Dads & Daddies

Hey all. It's been quite a long minute since my last story! Guess I got inspired again. Hope you enjoy this one. All standard disclaimers pertain. Heads up--this is a slow burn. A very slow burn. All the characters are fictional, don't have any semblance to any real people living or deceased, and only characters over the age of 18 are engaged in sexual activity.

Drop me a comment below to tell me what you think. Maybe you will inspire me to write the next story?

*****

Dads and Daddies

My parents had me when they were a bit older than the "typical" age when people usually become parents. They met on a blind date at age 49, got married quickly, conceived me (with some fertility assistance), had our little family, and pursued their careers. I grew up knowing I was wanted and loved; my folks were good, kind people and they loved being parents. I was a relatively easy kid, never caused much trouble, and my coming out at age 17 was a non-event. My folks had dear friends who were Lesbians and we had already marched in the Pride Parade for years. I brought home a few boyfriends over the years but nothing too serious. I think I was always looking for a real partner and my folks set the standard quite high. Sex was fun--I had my fair share--but in my 20s I didn't find "the one" and was never too stressed by it.

My folks worked hard--my mom as an immigration lawyer and my dad as a financial advisor--and together they made a decent living. I grew up in a modest home just on the edge of the city and suburbs, and while we didn't seem wealthy, I never wanted for anything. By the time I headed off to university, my mom and dad were in their late 60s. I was always aware that my friend's parents were younger than mine; I didn't know any differently so it always seemed normal to me.

Just as I was about to turn 30, both my parents died; my mother first from an aggressive cancer, then my father from a sudden heart attack--I think from a broken heart--two months later.

They had everything in order when they died--my father was the child of German immigrants and all of his paperwork was as tidy as the furniture in my childhood home. He was a financial advisor and took these matters very seriously. We never spoke much about money in the house and I never wanted for anything. My parents weren't frugal but we did not live lavishly either.

I was, however, shocked by the size of my parent's estate: they left me just north of seven million dollars. I was their only child.

At 30 years old, I was a millionaire and a heartbroken orphan. My parents and I had spoken daily for my entire life. My grief was overwhelming. I literally did not know what to do with myself.

After several weeks of staring at my computer screen and making no progress in my research as a scientist at a prestigious university, I walked into my boss's office and told her I was taking a sabbatical.

How long, she asked?

I asked her for a month and between my accrued vacation time and two weeks unpaid "compassionate leave," she granted it to me.

******

I decided to travel a bit, face my grief, and figure out what I wanted from my life. I had a wonderful group of friends. We met during our first year at university and the seven of us stayed close, despite moving to different parts of the world. I visited each of them in New York City, Amsterdam, London, Minneapolis, and San Francisco. I cried and laughed with each of them, swam in the ocean, ran in the mountains, and read a dozen novels.

All of my friends had settled down with partners and started having kids. I had always known I would be a father. That may sound strange, but it was just a fact. I knew in my bones like I knew we humans need air to breathe that I would be a dad. The question, as a single gay man, was how?

My four week sabbatical drew to a close and I realized I did not want to go back to work. I had no passion for the job. I had only begun to process my grief. Staring at the ocean, I knew it was time to begin the process to become a father. I sent my supervisor an email and resigned from my dream job. I felt numb, but I had more than enough to live on and I didn't want to waste any time on fulfilling my lifelong dream of becoming a dad.

I explored adoption and supported a friend as she and her husband went through the process. But, truth be told, I felt compelled for reasons I still cannot articulate to have a biological child of my own. So I signed up with a surrogacy agency and I was interviewed by a warm and funny counselor named Janet who reminded me of Joey's chain-smoking talent agent on Friends. She expedited my application (she told me she had a "thing for the gay boys and that I would soon refer to her as 'Fairy Godmother'). In less than a month, she found me a lovely surrogate named Joanie who'd had two children of her own and loved being pregnant. Joanie and I worked with the agency and just before the first anniversary of my mother's death, we produced several healthy embryos. We were ready for implantation. Janet convinced me that the odds were significantly better for a successful pregnancy if we selected two embryos; so on the first anniversary of my mother's death, the implantation took place.

Joanie called me from the doctor's office two weeks later. "Gabe," she said with enthusiasm, "You're gonna be a daddy!" I don't remember what happened in the minutes that followed, but I believe there was laughter and tears of joy and a feeling of, "Hallelujah! I'm so damn excited! and "Holy fuck! How on earth am I going to do this?" I fell asleep later than night, elated, curious, and feeling hopeful for the first time since my mother was diagnosed with cancer 27 months earlier.

*****

Because Joanie was a surrogate and she was pregnant via embryo implantation, the agency's protocol was to have an ultrasound at six weeks of pregnancy. So, a month later, I found myself in the clinic's office with Joanie and her husband, Tom, who was quiet, supportive, and provided a nice balance to his wife's boundless enthusiasm. She laid back on the table and the ultrasound technician squirted the gel onto her stomach. She then took the wand and began to spread the gel around. I watched on the screen and despite being a scientist myself, could not understand what I was seeing. Abby, the tech, narrated for us.

"Well, here we have a little future human and it looks like its heart is beating quite strong." I'm not much of a crier, but I found myself getting mistied eyed. My kid had a heart beat! Abby then told us she was measuring the size of the fetus to make certain it was normal growth.

Abby grew quiet for a moment. "Oh," she said quietly. It felt ominous.

Joanie responded immediately, "Is everything ok?" I held her hand and tried to look reassuring.

Abby nodded. "Please excuse me for a moment," she said as she stood up and left the room.

None of us spoke during the 45 years (ok, 30 seconds in reality) until Abby returned with a youngish gentleman in a white doctor's coat.

"Hello, I'm Isaac Boatman, one of the doctors here. Abby asked me to take a look at your ultrasound." He sat in the chair and took the wand and moved it around while focusing on the screen. He made several clicks, nodded at Abby, who then began to smile along with him.

"Well Gabe and Joanie and Tom," he began with a smile.

Joanie couldn't stand the suspense, "What is going on?" she blurted out. I was glad she said something because I couldn't talk; the lump in my throat felt so big it wouldn't let air in or out.

Dr. Boatman smiled broadly. "Everything is ok. Gabe, I understand that you're the father and Joanie is your surrogate, correct?"

"Yes sir," I said quietly.

"Well, it seems like you've got a two for one special." He pointed to the image on the screen. "Here is baby A and here," he said moving the wanted over slightly, "is baby B. Joanie is pregnant with twins."

Tom looked stunned. Joanie cried happy tears, "I knew it! I just knew it! Didn't I tell you, Tom? I knew it, Gabe."

Everyone turned their attention to me. I choked out a half laugh, half cry. "Holy shit," I muttered. "Twins!" I was going to be a dad of twins!

I left the ultrasound appointment that day and took a walk around one of the small lakes in my neighbourhood. I'm not a very spiritual guy--my folks were practical people and I am as well. But once I got over the initial shock, I felt a remarkable sense of calm come over me. My parents made these humans possible with the gift of their generosity. And now, somehow, their spirits would be with me as I went on this grand adventure. Twins? Whoa.

******

The months passed and Joanie grew bigger. More ultrasounds--all healthy, the babies were growing well. I decided that I wanted to live in a house instead of the townhome where I was living. My childhood home wasn't for sale, but a neighbor I ran into one day randomly at the grocery store let me know the owners were thinking of moving. I called them, made a generous offer, they accepted, and I bought my childhood home to raise my family in! It was a nice three bedroom with a large den, a fireplace, a big back yard with giant oak trees, and ample spaces to play inside. However, it hadn't been updated since the 80s, so I hired a contractor to freshen it up.

I moved back into my childhood home on Hope Road (seriously--who could make this up?) when Joanie hit 36 weeks pregnant. The babies were both healthy sized and the pregnancy had been uncomplicated. 37 weeks is considered full term for twins but Joanie hit that milestone, remained healthy if not large and tired, and decided she would go as long as possible. The doctors were trying to persuade us to deliver the babies by C-section, but Joanie felt confident she could have a vaginal delivery. The doctors agreed but asked that she be induced the following Monday when she reached 38 weeks gestation. I quickly agreed only to phone Tom and Joanie the next day.

"Is it possible to wait until Tuesday?" I asked somewhat bashfully.

Joanie was talking with her own 11 year old child. "Sure, why?" she asked, telling her kid they'd have to wait until after dinner for a brownie.

I choked back a sob. "Tuesday will be my parent's wedding anniversary." Joanie didn't even answer me but used Tom's phone to call the doctor and inform them she would be coming to deliver next Tuesday.

And so, on a beautiful spring Tuesday, Liam Edward and Annabelle Davis (my mother's maiden name) came into the world with boundless love and little drama. Joanie was exceptional and delivered without surgery as she told the doctors she would. Tom was at her side throughout labor, and they welcomed me into the delivery room to watch my son and daughter enter the world on my parent's 33rd wedding anniversary.

Since the babies were full term and got a clean bill of health, I was able to take them home the next day. My friends from the village had worked out a schedule so there was someone staying with me every day for the first six weeks of the kid's lives. I was so grateful to have them help me because, as a single dad with two infants, the feedings and the dishes and the diaper changes and the laundry were more than enough to keep me busy every moment.

The night my last friend left, I sat with Annie and Liam in my arms and realized how happy I was. "Thanks mom and dad. I hope you're proud." Both babies had their eyes open looking at me. I was exhausted and elated.

*****

A week later all hell broke loose. Annie developed a fever and Liam--who rarely cried--went through a colicky phase where the only way he would sleep was if I was holding him. I tried to do it all on my own for the next 10 days but finally broke down in tears one night on the phone with my bestie, David, who was living in London.

"I feel like such a failure," I moaned.

David was having none of it. "Dude--you're 31 years old and have two infants by yourself! When was the last time you slept?" I couldn't remember but I think it had been almost 10 days since I had more than a few minutes in a row.

"Look. You've got your inheritance money. Why not hire a night nurse for a couple weeks just until the kids are doing a bit better? That way, you can get some sleep and you won't feel so worn down?"

It wasn't the worst idea I'd ever heard. So when Liam shrieked later that night (or was it early morning? Does it matter? What is time when you haven't slept?), I called the surrogacy agency to ask for a referral.

Janet heard it was me on the phone and wrestled it away from the receptionist.

"Gabe darling, how are you? How are Liam and Annie?"

I barely answered her when I started to cry. "Annie's had a fever which the doctor says is a normal cold but I have to carefully monitor her fluid intake and Liam has decided he'll only sleep if I'm holding him, so honestly, I'm kind of drowning here..."

"What's your address?" Janet asked. "Never mind, I've got your file open on the computer. Elaine, cancel my appointments this afternoon. Gabe, I'll be there in 30 minutes. 25 if I ditch some of the lights."

I didn't have time nor energy to even ask a question. Janet was at my door 27 minutes later, smiling, holding a bag with a Subway sandwich in it, walking through the door, and picking up Annie immediately.

"Ok. You're exhausted. You poor thing. I've got Steve coming over shortly--he was going to go golfing this afternoon but his buddy had a work thing. He will take Liam out for a walk and I'll spend time with Annie and do some laundry while you take a shower--and please brush your teeth--and then a nap. Go. I've raised three kids of my own, seven grandkids, and your babies are the 211th and 212th I've helped to make in my career. I got this."

I was too exhausted to argue. "Thank you," I said as I handed Liam to her who immediately began squawking. I tried not to feel guilty as I headed to the shower after I brushed my teeth. I don't remember getting into bed or closing my eyes.

I woke up and looked at the clock--it was 6:07pm. I slept for six hours!

I raced downstairs to see Steve giving Liam a bottle and Janet reading Annie a story. The kitchen was clean. My kids were safe. I felt like a new man. Who knew how great sleep could be?

"Thank you," I said. "Can you stay for dinner? I don't have folks..." my voice cracked. It really hit me seeing this lovely older couple in their 60s hold my kids and knowing my own parents would never know this joy. I shook my head.

"Dinner is coming in 10 minutes, "Janet said. "I hope you like Thai. And, I called the best night nurse on the planet! He used to live here, moved away for a while for some family stuff, and just got back a couple weeks ago. He's looking for a job, but his license is all up to speed and I can personally vouch for him." She listed off his credentials and I trusted this woman with my life, so I had no objections.

"Great. Call him. We can see how tonight goes."

************

At 10pm, as I was changing Annie's diaper while Liam slept in the baby carrier on my chest, I heard a knock at the door.

"I'll be there in a minute!" I said loudly but without yelling so as not to wake Liam who had finally fallen asleep. I moved Annie from the changing table into her crib, quickly wiped my hands, and went to the door.

Opening the door, I felt a rush of warm summer air. I shuddered.

"Hello, Gabe?" The man standing on my doorstep said while extending his hand. "Ted Dunton."

I stood there staring for a moment, shook my head, and said, "Yes, I'm Gabe Solomon" as I extended my hand. "Please come in."

Ted stepped into my home and I simultaneously felt calmed by his presence and slightly uneasy for reasons I did not have time nor energy to think through.

I'm just shy of six feet tall and what people refer to as "lanky," weighing in about 175 pounds. I have a messy mop of sort of curly sandy brown hair that's a little longer on top and cropped short on the sides. David and I both got our ears pierced during college--the one time I ever got drunk--and it's the only rebellious thing I ever did. I wear small hoops in them and today I have a two or three day old scruff. I have a modest amount of chest hair and have been told I'm handsome. I think I have that "guy next door look" which probably has to do more with the fact that I wear jeans, sneakers, and old music tshirts, which now are all stained with baby goo.

Ted was just slightly shorter than me, had short dark thick hair, graying just slightly at the temples. He was substantially stockier than me and likely outweighed me by 40 pounds but he carried it all well. He had really nice muscles without looking like he was on steroids, a tribal tattoo on his left bicep, and had some nice silver chest hairs poking up from his nursing scrubs. I could hear my mother's voice in my head, whispering, "Oooh, that man is built like a brick shit house!" Did I mention my very sweet mother could swear like a drunken sailor?). He had a full mustache and had a nice dark complexion and looked as though he were from the Middle East or South America. I'm terrible with age but I could tell he was a little older than me.

He followed me into the kitchen. "Can I get you a glass of water or some tea or coffee? I think I also have soda or maybe beer in the fridge," I felt like I was starting to babble. "I also have wine, but you're here to help with my kids so that's probably not a great idea," he smiled as I shook my head. "And now you know why I need some help with the babies." He laughed in a beautiful tenor laugh, not at me, but with me and the situation.

I motioned for him to join me at the table and we accidentally bumped arms before we sat. The electricity was intense. I felt like someone plugged me in and the energy lit me up! He looked at me for a quick second. He felt it, too. Maybe? I hope. Whoa. He's here to help with my babies.

I cleared my throat. "So, all I know from Janet--who is a force of nature--(he laughed and nodded)--is that you're a nurse with a lot of experience with infants. You're from here, moved away for a time, and have been back now for just a few weeks. That's it. So I'm going on a wing and a prayer here."

He took a sip of water. "Oh Janet," he laughed. "You are correct. She's a force of nature."

Liam briefly stirred so I stood up to gently rock him. I nodded for Ted to continue. Holy cow he's handsome! I found myself smiling, almost giddy.

"Let's see. I am Theodore Alexander Stavros Popodopolous Dunton. But Ted seems to be easiest for everyone." We both laughed. His smile was so bright it could solve the world's energy crisis; I felt like I could bask in the glow of his warmth.

"Yes, the son of two immigrant Greeks who literally met on the boat--ok--the airplane--at 16 years old. I'm the oldest of eight kids and my youngest sister is 11 years younger than me. No twins." He winked at me. He WINKED at me! "My parents are Greek Orthodox and took the 'Be fruitful and multiply' part of the Bible literally." We both chuckled.

"Naturally, I helped raise my sisters and brother (six girls and two boys). I wanted to be a doctor, but couldn't afford to spend that many years in school. So I became a nurse and finished university at age 20. I've been a nurse now for..." he closed his eyes for a few seconds, "almost 25 years." He shook his head. "Yes, I'm 45 next month if you're trying to do the math."

We both smiled.

"My first nursing job was with people with dementia. I really enjoyed working with older folks but one of my teachers from nursing school was starting up a new unit for preemie babies at Children's Hospital. She recruited me and I worked there for 21 years, until about two years ago."

He took another sip of water. "My parents both got sick. My mom had lung cancer. My dad, ironically, had early onset dementia. I took a leave from work about two and half years ago for a month and that turned into two months and then I took a long term leave of absence to care for them. They both died last year, my dad in January, my mom in October. My older sister, who was born with some severe disabilities, got pneumonia and died the week before Christmas. And my husband of 17 years--that's how I got the last name Dunton--not so Greek, I know--my husband of 17 years decided our marriage was over and sent me divorce papers that arrived on December 30. So, 2024 was a pretty shitty year." His eyes looked... well, I don't know how to describe how they looked. Their sadness was just... familiar and this big, burly, sexy man looked so vulnerable and I wanted to hold him in my arms and comfort him. Oh jeez. It must be the sleep deprivation. I'm fantasizing about a guy I met less than an hour ago. That's not how I roll!

"Wow," I sighed. "I'm so sorry. Jeez, that's a lot of death and grief for one person to endure. There must be some award for having such a clusterfuck of a year." I cringed. Maybe that was too familiar?

Ted laughed. "Thanks Gabe. You're right. Clusterfuck describes it about as accurately as anything." I wanted to reach out and hold his hand but Liam stirred so I needed to keep rocking him. There was a melancholy in his voice, but it felt like he was reaching towards me with care and understanding.

"Anyway, I was back working with my siblings to put all my parent's and sister's stuff in order, cleaning out the house and selling it, along with separating from my ex-husband. The truth is, our marriage ended long before; he was just brave enough to formally end it. I have no animosity towards him; it's probably worse. I just feel... nothing. Which feels a lot worse for a man who I imagined growing old with..." He swallowed hard. "Sorry, I don't normally share much personal information, but I feel really comfortable with you, which is not a feeling I'm used to with someone I just met." He smiled bashfully.

Oh boy. This man was going to wreck me!

"I picked up some shifts here and there," he continued, "took the summer to travel back to Greece to visit my parent's villages, and decided it was time to move back here and restart my life. I actually rented a townhouse a few blocks from here and was just about to start sending out my resume to hospitals when Janet called me today. And I don't know Janet all that well--we've only met a couple times when I'd delivered babies for surrogates through her agency and she invited me to her annual Chanukkah party one year. For a Greek guy, I spin a mean Dreidle and can eat latkes with the best of the Jews." We both smiled. I fry up a mean latke. But that's a conversation for December, not the heat of the summer.

"All I know is that you're single and have twin six week olds and need some help at night. Here I am."

Without thinking, I started organizing some cheese and crackers and fruit and he was helping plate them.

"We have a lot in common. So much it's a little freaky. Janet is some sort of cosmic unicorn or something." Ted laughed loudly then sheepishly apologized and mouthed "sorry" as he worried Liam would stir. Fortunately, my son stayed asleep. He was attached to me after all.

I put some white cheddar on a cracker, took a bite, and shared my story with him, telling him the story of my parents and their deaths, my work as a research scientist, my sabbatical, and the story of how I became a father. I neglected to mention I was gay, but I'm out and I just sort of assumed Janet told him because... Janet. Anyway, Ted listened intently and seemed to really pay careful attention to me. I didn't realize how much I needed someone to listen. It felt comforting.

"May I ask something and you should feel free to tell me it's none of my business?" Ted inquired.

"Sure thing. I'm too tired to be offended and truthfully, I don't get wound up about much. At least until I had kids. Now, I think the one thing people could do that would make me feel the rage of the sun would be to try to hurt Annie or Liam." I felt a rush of parental clarity. Papa Bear is here! "But," I turned towards Ted, "I'm not actually worried about you hurting my kids."

Ted stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. "All good humour aside, I would never do anything to hurt any of you. And I would stand between anyone who would."

I found myself getting warm and feeling heat rise on the back of my neck. My heart beat a bit faster. I nodded at Ted. "Thank you." After a few seconds, "So. Your question?"

Ted smiled again. "Ah yes. So, you're a handsome, successful guy. You're charming and kind and smart. I'm guessing you're what--32 years old, Gabe?"

"First, thank you for saying all that nice stuff. I'm not sure I'm all that, but a good compliment is nice to hear! And you're sure close on the money about my age--I'm 31, 32 in a couple of months."

"Guessing people's ages is my super power," Ted said with a twinkle in his eye. Damn this guy was charming! And sexy. And.... oh boy. Here's here to help me tonight with the kids.

"I'm just curious why you decided to have kids now? While you're single? Why not wait until you find a nice woman and settle down?"

My eyes must have looked like they popped out of their sockets because Ted sat back down at the kitchen table, looking like he'd done something wrong. "I'm sorry, Gabe, I didn't mean"--

I cut him off. Yeah, maybe I should have mentioned to him that I'm also gay. I smiled. "Nothing to apologise for. It's a fair question. I wish I had a more interesting or dazzling story to tell. It's simple, really. I grew up with older parents whom I loved and who provided me with resources to live a life beyond my wildest dreams. They both died last year before I had a chance to find a husband." Ted raised an eyebrow and I think he may have blushed a bit but with his olive skin I couldn't quite tell. But now wasn't the time to talk about how I don't always seem to get clocked as gay by other gay men.

I continued, "I wanted to be a younger dad--or younger than my dad--and..." I felt a bit vulnerable saying this aloud. "You're the son of Greek immigrants. I'm the grandson of people who survived Auschwitz. They died when I was a small kid and I never really knew them. My folks are gone--so close to the time of your parents it's a little spooky--and I don't even believe in that stuff. I'm a scientist!" I joked to try to break the tension in the air. "I have a few cousins in Australia. But I just felt... really alone. So I decided, 'why wait?' I always wanted to be a dad. And here we are, with Liam and Annabelle--named for my parents William and Anna--who turn eight weeks old tomorrow. I've never been happier. I've never been more exhausted! So I need some help at night to try to get into a routine."

"Wow." Ted said softly. "I've never met a man so..."

I waited a beat while he thought about what to say. I felt uncomfortable. I met this guy 35 minutes ago and I'm already worried about what he thinks of me? I'm usually not concerned about what other people think; my folks raised me to respect myself and others and I guess I just sorta missed being anxious about other people's opinions.

"Out of his mind?" I responded as I laughed.

He smiled and shook his head. "Brave. I was going to say brave. And so full of gratitude. You're quite something Gabe. I'm not easily impressed. But you? I'm not sure what word to use. Maybe awe?" He looked absolutely serious.

I blushed. I could accept the complement. But it felt like he was offering more than simply a kind word; it felt like he was reaching toward me in a way I couldn't quite understand at the moment. And I was reaching back towards him. We seemed to be dancing tenderly around each other and while I wasn't quite sure of the steps, I felt a deep sense of calm as well as slightly aroused that such a stunning man was even paying me any attention. Did I mention that his eyes smoldered like a forest fire? What was going on inside me? It must be the sleep deprivation.

*****

I gave Ted a tour of the house, introduced him to a sleeping Annie, and talked about the help I needed during the night. It was now 11pm and Liam would soon stir for his bottle and then Annie would need hers.

"Ted, I feel comfortable with you, your skills, your recommendation from Janet, and you're just kind and you give off decent vibes and you're funny and did not run for the hills when you walked in here." I laughed. "I'd like to hire you for the night if you're open to it." I gulped and grew beat red. "I mean, not hire you for me. To help me. Hire me for helping your kids. I mean my kids. You helping me. With my kids."

Ted was trying to hold back his laughter but finally had to let it out. He started laughing and then I started laughing. We soon had tears in our eyes. Then Annie started crying in her crib and I went to get her, Liam woke for his bottle and the house was now a cacophony of baby sounds.

Ted continued smiling when he turned to me. "How about I get the bottles ready for the midnight feeding while you work on changing diapers." I nodded and put Liam down in his crib so I could change Annie, who felt a bit warm to the touch. I got a thermometer and quickly took her temperature. She had a slight fever.

"Ted," I called him in and showed him the thermometer. He felt Annie's cheeks and forehead and asked to retake her temperature. "So she is running a bit of a fever. It isn't anything to get panicked about but it's also not nothing. I'm going to call a nurse friend of mine and just check about best practices."

He got on the phone and started talking with his colleague as he continued to assess Annie. "Gabe," he asked, "What does she weigh?"

She's due for her eight week check up tomorrow, I thought. "I think she's just under 11 pounds, if the scale I've got is accurate." He relayed the information to his colleague.

"When did she last drink a bottle? How many ounces did she drink? When did you last change her diaper? Just urine? Or did she poop as well? Ted asked calmly and matter-of-factly.

"Hang on; I have a notebook in the kitchen where I write all this down." I'm a scientist. I love data. I flipped through the pages of Annie's book. "Looks like she drank about four ounces of formula around 8pm, so like four hours ago. She last pooped around 3pm or so. She had a pretty wet diaper around 8:15 or so." I sighed, simultaneously worried about my daughter, proud I was so on top of her care, and grateful to have Ted here to support us.

Ted hung up the phone after several "Ahs" and "oks" and "thank yous." He turned to me while holding Annie. "Ok. Linda has been a L&D nurse--Labour and Delivery--for about 35 years. She knows babies." I feel confident knowing she's been a nurse longer than I've been alive.

"Linda thinks Annie probably has some sort of bug that kids get. But we always take fevers seriously. Linda isn't alarmed. Her advice is to give Annie a cool sponge bath, put her in a lighter set of pajamas without feet, give her some infant Tylenol, and feed her every three hours to keep her hydrated, even if that means waking her up. If the fever doesn't go down in 12 hours, then we should bring her to Children's Hospital. How does that sound as a plan?"

"Yeah, that makes sense to me." He asked if I had any questions. No, the process and steps made a lot of sense to my logical brain. "So it seems you're taking the job at least for the night?" I smiled at him and didn't try to look coy, but I couldn't help the swell of feelings I was experiencing for Ted at the moment.

Ted smiled and I felt relieved, calm, happy, and slightly aroused despite my deep desire to repress it. "Yeah, I'm in."

*****

Ted and I worked together throughout the night and it seemed like we were riding a Tandem bike or kayaking in a double kayak. We moved smoothly, communicated well, and kept focused on the kid's wellbeing. He showed me a way to swaddle Liam with a blanket that did not completely satisfy his desire to be attached to me, but calmed him enough and long enough so I could also tend to Annie.

I sat down on the couch in the den about 1am. Annie slept next to me in her portable bassinet. Liam was sleeping next to her. I handed Ted a cup of coffee I had just brewed and he smiled. "Man, you saved my fucking balls," as he took a sip then widen his eyes in embarrassment. "Oh I'm so sorry," he began.

I waved him off. "My mother had a mouth that never seemed to find a four letter word she didn't like. So you're good. I like a well placed F-bomb. And well placed balls." Now it was my turn to blush. Did I just say that? OMG.

"I'm sorry. That was"--

It was Ted's turn to cut me off.

"That was really fucking funny." And we both dissolved into laughter. We tried to keep quiet to keep from waking the kids.

I quickly ran to the washroom, realized that I was chubbed up and had leaked precum in my underwear. I don't think I'd masturbated more than a couple times since the kids were born. Yikes! I was tired. I was horny. And I was so intrigued by Ted. I splashed water on my face and returned to find him washing dishes in the sink.

I walked up behind him and took the wet dishes and started to hand dry them and place them alongside the baby bottles on the kitchen counter. Our arms kept touching and neither of us seemed to complain or make an effort to pretend something else was happening. Whatever it was that was happening. It felt erotic and hot and comforting all at the same time.

"Can I ask you something Ted without overstepping? And you promise to tell me if I do?"

"Considering I asked you why you had your kids at this time and had you basically come out to me, it feels like we can talk about big things," smiled.

Big things? Oh boy. Focus Gabe. Focus.

"Why on earth would your ex end your marriage? And so impersonally? Wow. I sound super judgemental. I don't mean to. I'm just... surprised I guess."

Ted turned to me. "Those are good questions, Ted. And I've spent so many nights wondering about them myself. Crying myself to sleep. Beating myself up over everything I'd done wrong in our marriage. For the longest time, I couldn't come up with any answers. It was my sister Elena who died last year that helped me understand. She noticed that Paul and I had essentially stopped talking to each other. Not out of malice; we just... ran out of things to say to each other and fuck, that's the worst."

"Look, Paul and I had a wonderful, passionate marriage for 10 years. We liked to travel, we had good friends, good jobs, a nice place to live..." he slowed down. "Great, passionate sex." He looked at me to gauge my reaction, but I nodded and didn't let on that I was completely turned on by him. Fuck, I'm such a nerd! This is so cliche!

"And then, we started to drift apart. We didn't fight--which was part of the problem--and we found ourselves ghosts in our own marriage. I suggested counseling, but he wouldn't consider it. 'Just not my thing to tell a stranger my problems,' he would say. 'I don't need that crap,' was what he told me the night before he moved into our guest room. We stopped sleeping together after that--save for a charity blow job on my birthday--and he didn't really even touch me for almost three years." Ted shook his head.

"I knew in my heart we were done. I just... believed our vows were for life and I couldn't imagine we weren't able to find a way back to each other. He just didn't feel that way..." Ted signed.

Ted shook his head and said, "I can't believe I stayed. But then my folks got sick and my sister got sick and I just looked past the fact that Paul was 51 years old and was sleeping with a 22 year old flight attendant. Who," Ted laughed with some sadness, "looks exactly like I did when I was that age. His parents are even from the same village in Greece as my grandparents."

"Motherfucker," I responded. Ted's eyes widened. "I'm sorry. That wasn't polite of me. I should have said he's a damn idiot, but like I said before, I like a well-placed F-bomb." Ted smiled at me and raised an eyebrow.

Just then one of the babies stirred and we started the routine all over again.

I think I dozed on the living room sofa around 3:30am after giving Annie her bottle. Ted must have come over while I was dozing and sat next to me before he fell asleep himself. I woke up as the alarm for Annie's 6:30 bottle went off and Liam let out a cry. I was shocked to find myself leaning on Ted, feeling the heat radiating from him. His arm tightened around me, not in a possessive way but with a tenderness that made me feel comforted and horny at the same time. He smelled like Old Spice and a little sweat and his moustache was thick and hairy and I started to wonder if his dick was thick...

We both opened our eyes, Ted's smell filling my body with arousal and him staring at me like I was his prey... I shuddered. I closed my eyes for a second and almost willed him to lean in to kiss me. I wanted to feel his full lips on mine and tongue wrestle with him and rub my hands up and down his hairy chest and trace his tattoos with my thumb and--

"Ok," he said while extracting himself from me. "Duty calls," and then we got back to tending to the kids.

*****

Soon it was 7:30am. Annie no longer had a fever. Ted's shift was over. I found myself genuinely sad he was leaving. What a weird night! Maybe I dreamt it?

I didn't know all of what was going on, but something was stirring for me. Even if the feelings weren't reciprocated, it was good to know I would still feel these feelings for other men even as I devoted myself to my kids and my new life as their dad.

I e-transferred Ted the money for the night and he walked out the door, shutting it quietly. I sat there wondering, feeling, and realizing I needed to begin the day again. But I did get about four hours of broken sleep with Ted's help--and that was about triple the amount of sleep I'd had for the past several nights.

Not more than 30 seconds later, I heard a knock at the door.

I smiled and he smiled. I wish I could say there was a dramatic Hollywood moment where we fell into each other's arms and kissed passionately. But this was real life.

"I forgot to ask, Gabe," he said somewhat bashfully. This big, strong man was powerful and soft spoken at the same time and made me weak at the knees. "Would you like me to come back again tonight?"

"Oh God!" I said turning beet red. "Of course! I mean, can you? If you can. Yes, please." I babbled again like a fool.

Ted winked at me. "I'll be back at 7:30. See you." He was off. I shut the door. And after I got both the kids down for their morning nap, I went into the shower where I imagined Ted naked with me, the water running over our bodies, me stroking my dick, him sucking on my neck while finger my ass... and holy fuck! "Ted!" I cried out as I came hard and fast! I don't think it took me 90 seconds to cum. Damn, that felt so good.

***

Ted returned that night and we kept up our quiet flirting. He was an enormous help with the babies. I loved looking at him and talking with him.

He came over every week night. We got Liam and Annie into a routine. They started sleeping for longer stretches. Liam even learned to sleep while not attached to me!

Ted and I found longer periods of time to talk and get to know each other. We spoke about music and our first boyfriends and places we wanted to travel and shared stories of our parents. He told me about life with seven siblings in a three bedroom home; I spoke to him about life as an only child. He talked about caring for his younger sister as she was dying and he spoke with such reverence and tenderness, I felt like I was there in the room with him. He told me about loving to cook and backpacking and camping adventures (I'm not a camper, but over the nights we spent together, he wore down my resistance and convinced me to try it sometime... maybe). He was funny and talked about pranks he pulled in school on his teachers and how he enjoyed playing his saxophone.

I was so attracted to this man! He was gorgeous and a good man. Woof!

I thought everything was going well. The kids were sleeping longer stretches. I could string sentences together and not sound like an idiot. I stopped resisting my attraction to this older, hunky, compassionate, strong man. And I was pretty certain he felt the chemistry as well, even as we danced around the subject. At one point I came out of the kitchen and bumped straight into him. He looked at me with hunger. I was equally hungry. I thought we would kiss but stopped just before and awkwardly carried on through the night.

It was five weeks later when I felt as though my heart would break.

"Gabe," he said when he walked into my place wearing his faded blue hospital scrubs--I'd never actually seen him in any clothes other than scrubs. I never asked him to wear them; he said wearing them helped him separate work from the rest of his life. And that they were comfortable.

He looked really tired. And his eyes were red. Had he been crying.

"Paul came over this morning," he began. "He had our divorce papers."

"Oh Ted, I'm really sorry. That's rough."

He let out a sob and I reached out to hug him. He put his head on my shoulder and wept. I got him a glass of water and put on the kettle for tea. We didn't speak for several minutes. He just cried in my arms.

"I'm sad because it's over," he said, blowing his nose. "And I was so worried he wouldn't come with the divorce papers."

I looked at him confused. Why would he be worried Paul wouldn't come if he was sad about the divorce? I didn't get it.

He looked at me with his piercing eyes. "I got a job at the hospital," he said softly. "I start in two weeks."

I think I stopped breathing. My mind went blank. I tried not to fall apart. I willed myself not to cry. Yes, I loved the help and care he provided Liam and Annie. And I loved being around him. Fuck! I was going to miss him. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

"I'm so happy for you, Ted. I'm going to miss you so much. You've helped me get through this rough patch with Liam and Annie. We are all so grateful." I choked back a sob of my own.

He came up to me and pulled me into a hug. I wanted to memorize his smell and how his arms felt around me. How his chest hair poked at my neck and his moustache felt at my ear. The heat of his breath.

"I needed to quit," he said so quietly I almost couldn't hear him. "And I was worried if Paul didn't come over with the divorce papers, I wouldn't have been free."

I continued to be confused. "Free?" I asked.

He spoke quietly and looked at me with such intensity I thought I might spontaneously combust. "I've heard," he said while holding my face in his hands, "that it's a bad idea to fall in love with your boss."

I pulled back and looked at him. "Oh fuck," I said.

His eyes widened and the colour drained from his face. He started to backtrack, "I mean, if you feel--"

I didn't give him a chance to respond and leaned forward to kiss him. And we stood in my kitchen and kissed. Maybe we both forgot how to breathe. His tongue was musky and sweet at the same time. The texture felt like velvet. I was a thirsty man walking in the desert who finally tasted water and wanted to drink every second for the rest of my life.

"I love you, too, Ted. I've never said that to another man. But God," I moaned into his mouth and sucked on his bottom lip. "I love you so much it hurts." I was crying. He was teary.

A few minutes of making out later, I pulled away and got out my phone. He looked at me with his lips swollen and the outline of his hard-on pressing against his scrubs.

"Janet," I said into the phone and put it on speaker.

"Hey handsome," she said while washing dishes. "How are those beautiful babies?" I didn't have time to answer before she continued. "Steve and I have a bet."

"Oh?" I responded and Ted looked curious. "What's the bet?

"He thinks you and Ted became good friends since I sent him your way, but that's it. I say the two of you fell head over heels for each other." We both shook our heads. Janet! Force. Of. Nature!

"Fairy Godmother," Ted shook his head, smiling.

"We will tell you who wins..." I said coyly into the phone. "But can you babysit Friday night so I can take this man on a proper date?" Ted smiled. Janet let out a shriek so loud that it woke up both twins.

"I knew it!" She proclaimed. "I am the Queen of the fucking universe!" she yelled in a mock Broadway showtune sing-songy voice. "And I want that on a God damned t-shirt."

Ted and I laughed so hard we had tears falling down our cheeks. Each of us was holding a baby. "We'll get you a t'shirt."

Steve grumbled in the background, "She's always fucking right. We'll be there by 6."

*****

Ted and I locked eyes. The passion I felt for him turned my scientific logical brain inside out. My mind felt like it was oozing mush. I kissed him again, this time tenderly, but with an intensity I'd never felt for another man. My hardon was steel. I felt him poking through his scrubs and looked down to see a wet spot forming.

The kids started babbling. It was time for them to eat. Ted and I pulled apart and got the twins dinner.

Once we had bathed them, got them into their pajamas, and read them a story, we put them down in their cribs to sleep.

And then the fireworks began... I felt simultaneously more aroused than I'd ever been and absolutely calm. Which lasted about a minute.

I suddenly felt nervous. Ted and I were going to have sex. We'd been stuck in a slow dance of foreplay for weeks now. I hoped it would be good. I wanted it to be good for him. I didn't have time to think too much before he wrapped his arms around me and started kissing my ear. Fuck! I shuddered.

We kissed and felt each other's bodies and slowly began to undress each other.

"I need to be inside you, Gabe," he breathed. I felt electricity coursing through my body. My dick was hard. Throbbing even. I hadn't been fucked in I don't remember how long. God how I wanted him!

We fell onto our bed kissing, his weight on top of me. Whoa--our bed? Where did that thought come from? I didn't think too much. He was beefy and muscular and I fumbled to get his shirt off. I ran my hands up and down his chest, admiring him, drinking him in like he was the first and the last man in the universe.

I tweaked his nipples. He moaned and threw his head back. "Harder!" He commanded as he ran his hands through my mop of hair.

I smiled at him coyly, mischievously. I pulled and pinched at the same time--harder, per his request--then suddenly releasing them. "Fuck," he groaned as he sucked on the skin on my collar bone and I moaned into his chest.

"You like that, Daddy?" I asked him, drunk on the feelings of giving him pleasure, ready to submit to his tenderness and power.

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head at me with a half smile. "You want to go there..." he began to ask and continued with a whisper into my ear, "boy?"

I gasped as he flipped me over on the bed and had my pants off in a split second. My hardon ached. I don't usually precum, but with Ted, I leaked enough to soak the sheets. He held my leg up and began to rub it up and down, slowly but firmly massaging me, tantalizing me with his fingers and tongue.

"You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen," he said to me. There was no guile in his voice. His sincerity overwhelmed my senses. He smiled at me and his pupils swelled with passion. "I'm so fucking in love with you," he said with a sound that felt like a sob and laughter simultaneously. "So, so, so in love." He wrapped me in his arms and held me.

"Need you inside me," I told him.

"Condoms?" He asked.

I shook my head. "I was tested before I conceived the twins. And I haven't had much time to have sex in the last several months," I told him, chuckling to myself. "I still get tested every three months even though there is zero possibility I've contracted any STIs." Sometimes, I really knew how to sound like a scientist.

"If you're STI free, I don't want to use condoms the first time we have sex," I said gently but firmly. "If you're ok with that."

Ted held my hands in his face. "I'm on Prep. I'm also tested every three months. My last test was the week I met you. I haven't been with anyone since. I can wait if you prefer. Use a condom. But I'm not fucking around here," he smiled. "I will never do anything to hurt you or the kids," he said, growing serious for a moment. God, I loved how protective and caring and strong he was! Then he brought us right back to the passion of our coupling. "But I do need to fuck you. I'd love to do it bareback. Since we both seem to be STI free, the risk is pretty non-existent."

I took a deep breath and smiled. "I need to feel you, Ted. All of you. This is the most real thing I've ever felt with another man. I've never been fucked without a condom before..." I said, blushing. And I don't blush. At least not before I met him. And I blush all the fucking time!

Ted held me close. "I'm glad to be your first."

"Have at it, Daddy," I said. He growled and opened the lube, smearing it on my ass and his thick cock. I'm almost seven inches cut; he seemed to be about the same length, uncut, and a bit thicker than me. His dick was hot to the touch.

I gasped as his finger began to probe my hole. It had been so long since I had a dick inside me. My hole was tight. But it quivered at his touch and he entered me with only minimal resistance.

His finger hit my prostate and I cried out. "Ungggg," I said, babbling, feeling him enter me with a second finger.

"Please," I told him, "Please."

He held my arms behind my head with one hand while finger fucking me with the other. "Please what, Gabe?"

"Please fuck me, Ted. I need you. Now!" I sounded so desperate! The passion I felt was all consuming. I needed to feel close to him, to collapse the boundaries of where I began and he ended.

He kissed me deeply as he entered me. I moaned as he gently caressed my face with his hands and tickled me with his five o'clock shadow. I felt his cock moving slowly, hard as steel as he pressed further inside. I felt a twinge of pain which quickly subsided. I was so turned on I'm not sure I would have even recognized pain had I felt it.

Ted was inside me and I felt full and whole and eager and complete. "Fuck me Daddy. Fuck me!" I commanded, needing him to take charge and give it to me.

Ted growled and picked up the pace. "This ok, boy?" He asked me with passion and kindness.

"Yes!" I cried out. "Fuck me, fuck me, FUCK ME!" I responded

The feeling of him inside me was so intense; I felt so full! And it felt fucking great!

"I love you so fucking much," he said while fucking me so deliberately and so powerfully. "So fucking much."

I moaned and began meeting his thrusts with my ass. "I love you, Ted. Please. More. Fuck me harder, Daddy! Don't stop!" He pulled his dick completely out of me and then plunged back in! I saw stars of pleasure; ecstasy, thy name is now Theodore.

My hot Greek Daddy was a furnace and was soon dripping with sweat. He never looked away from me while he was inside me. The air around us grew musky and pungent. We smelled like sex. Every time his dick rubbed against my prostate, I shuddered and squirmed and cried, "God, you feel so fucking good. It's just so good!"

Ted held my arms against the headboard of the bed and slowed the pace of his fucking so I could feel every inch of his cock move in and out of my ass. He felt so good as he rubbed against my prostate and my cock started leaking more as my orgasm began to build.

"Gabe," he said hoarsely as beads of sweat rolled down his face. His cheeks were flush. His moustache had traces of spit on the ends, his mixed with mine. It was so fucking sexy!

I nodded. I could feel his dick throbbing and we both knew we were going to cum soon. I was ready and I didn't want this to end. It was--without a doubt--the best sex I'd ever experienced. I'd had some good sex before. But this took me to another universe! And Ted seemed like he was experiencing great pleasure as well.

I felt Ted's cock pulse inside me and felt the heat of the first splash of his cum and watched his eyes blaze and his lips form an orgasmic smile which sent me over the edge and my own orgasm hit and my cum started to erupt between our bodies. We were both breathing heavily and moaning.

I spoke first. "That was pretty fucking hot," I said while rolling onto my side so we could face each other, our heads resting together. "But scientifically speaking," I teased, "I am not able to make an accurate judgement with such a small sample size."

Ted smiled and I melted. "I guess that means we need more practice," he laughed, still catching his breath. "I'm going to need to take a ride on your beautiful dick once I catch my breath," he said as he kissed my hand.

I moaned into his chest. "Holy fuck, I'm so in love with you I can't believe it." I smiled and then surprised him by grabbing both his legs and hoisting them into the air. He looked momentarily shocked and then smiled his radiant smile. The surprise gave way to more heat.

"Fuck me. Now boy!" He demanded.

Who was I to deny the man I loved?

"Your wish, Sir, is my command!"

So I did.

*****

Ted never really left after that night. He took the job at the hospital for a while because he wanted to make certain he was contributing to our lives together. But he quickly realized I didn't care about material things, we had more than enough money to live on, and that the gift from my parents provided us the opportunity to build a life with Annie and Liam that was a dream.

There were moments, of course, where we had conflict and argued, but never about anything significant; we were easily on the same page just about all the time. He was so good with the kids and we fell into a routine full of delight, joy, and pleasure in the ordinary parts of life: Walking the kids to the park and taking them to swimming lessons; barbequing in the back yard with friends; sitting in front of the fireplace after we'd put the kids to bed, making love, and then taking turns reading to each other.

Our passion for each other kept burning. Our dynamic was full of laughter and good communication and deep respect. Ted knew I had never really had a partner before and was learning how to be in a relationship. He showed me patience while also inviting me to share what I was feeling and experiencing. We both knew that the lack of communication is one of the factors that doomed his marriage with Paul and we both wanted to learn from his experience. I understood Ted was older and had been married for several years. We shared in bringing each other our best selves, holding each other in the work of healing our grief and our past wounds, talking through our conflicts and reaching towards each other when we felt hurt or lonely or scared, and dreaming a new life together with each other and the twins.

Two years after Janet introduced us, Ted and I stood together in our backyard and married each other. Janet and Joanie co-officiated our ceremony; Ted's siblings and my scattered village and my cousins from Australia were present, along with friends old and new. Ted held Annie while I held Liam as we recited our vows. It was a simple, beautiful afternoon with good food and good friends--and a bubble machine for the toddlers that made for great photos just before they melted down and needed their naps.

Ted legally adopted the kids and we discussed having more children. We went to a therapist recommended by Janet to help us really think it through. I wanted to make sure Ted had the chance to have a biological child if he wanted one. But Ted ultimately decided--and I agreed--that we were both content with our family of four. We traveled often. We took the kids to Greece for a year where they learned the language and culture of Ted's family. I learned how to make Greek food and Ted and I took classes in Greek history and archeology while the kids were in school. We spent a summer in London with my BFF David and his wife and kids and then a year in Australia on my cousin's farm. The kids thrived and the four of us moved through the world with laughter and joy and ease.

Grief and exhaustion gave birth to our love story. I couldn't possibly be more grateful as I held the man I loved with all my heart, listening to him snore after making love for the 1,000th time.

Scientifically speaking, of course, I had ample evidence. And it was all damn good.

END