Energy Orgasm

I'm on my back and the music is turned up high. The breathing exercises were working. My body simply knew what to do, my breath had never reached that low before. For a moment I am stuck in fascination at how it moves my body.

The air around me was charged, crackling with electricity.

The room was full of people doing the same thing, a few of them were moving around the crowd helping us on our way.

Someone reaches me in the moment of trance. I can feel her coming from a few meters away.

"Forget everything I told you. From the belly up. That's all you need to know."

My head is buzzing, the line is blurred.

My attention now feels like a concave bump in my body, in my field. I feel it my belly, but also a palm's length above.

At first I move it by will, down then up.

I breathe it out,

In a curve that arches above me from my mouth back to my root.

Up it comes and I hear a voice in the crowd, or in the air.

"He's overcharging."

I take it as a sign of caution.

In silence, I am focused on my breathing.

I sense a pressure at the base of my head, it turns into a tingle on my forehead.

My palms feel like they've reached the size of my head.

Once more, I feel someone approaching,

She breathes out sensually in my ear,

A reminder to do the same.

I try,

But I lose focus,

She does something to my aura,

It reminds me I can do the same.

My body's getting tense,

It's Getting Hard To Breathe,

I Move My Own Giant Hands Above Me,

My Thumb Reaches Over My Head,

It Finds A Point On My Throat Chakra And Stops,

A Small Breath In,

I Pull My Finger,

With A Satisfying Breath And Sound,

It's All Up In My Head,

Behind My Closed Eyes I Start To See,

Two Serpents,

Wings,

A Giant Orb Between Them,

It's All The Way Up To My Head,

I Move My Left Hand Up,

Another Push,

I Think,

"Release!"

All My Muscles Tense,

My Skin Begins To Breathe,

All My Hair Electric,

My Hands Above My Head,

I Pull Them Back Down,

On Their Way,

A Wave Of Energy Climbs Up My Back,

Fire Comes Out My Ears, Out My Mouth And Out My Eyes,

I Can't Stay Down,

I Come Up Punching The Air,

Each A Wave Of Life Up My Spine,

I'm Sitting Up,

Another Breath,

I Slam My Hands On To The Ground,

Aftershocks,

I Try To Keep Silent As Everyone Else Moans In Sync.

My Shoulders Lighter Than Ever Before,

My Body Shivering,

I Have To Move.

I get up on my feet, and start to dance. I'm not a man, I'm now a room.

My Fingers move of their own accord,

In perfect Sync with those within,

I can't see,

I Can Only Hear,

I Can Feel Things In Advance,

Where They Point,

A Breath Goes Out.

"It's beautiful.", I think.

It's getting weird, I must come back.

I start to shake my hands and feet and slap myself to come back into my body.

Now it's finished, time to meditate.

I Have A Hard Time Staying Down,

And Yet Somehow,

I Do,

Selective Hearing,

Something About Repression,

Programming,

I Know This Term,

A Heavy Memory Returns,

A Voice Begins To Speak,

Pretending It's The Devil,

Offensive Imagery Appears Before My Eyes,

"If you're trying to tempt me you're doing a shit job. I won't allow it",

A thought pops up,

Another Wave,

"Manifest...

Weapons",

Something I just happened to read a day before.

A Part Of Me Begins To Speak,

"If you remember you never really had these to begin with.

When it comes repression, I would say it shouldn't be confused with absent opportunity.

This fucking thing started spaming you with offensive images and damaging psichosomatics, exaggerated offensive representations of the realities of sexuality."

"That's true", I think.

"I've reached the point where I must repress natural impulses so I don't have to deal with this thing."

"I can see why it ended up that way, it has to do with unsavories and seepage. See if you can take control, it will change him."

The words make something new appear,

Two enormous horns,

If before I can do nothing but watch,

Today my hands reach out,

I Grab Them,

The Horns Shrink and Turn,

They're Now A Motorcycle Handle,

I Ride Through Space,

As a voice chants in the background.

"Trauma does not define me.

Neither is it your button to push,

Human or Otherwise,

I am not responsible for:

Past Lives,

Future Lives,

Parallel Lives,

It's No Longer My Burden To Bear.

I Call My Power Back To Me,

From Every Person, Place, Entity,

I disassociate the exaggerated sexual repression mechanism, interpreter, interpretations and all their strings."

And I Feel Something Changing In My Mind.

One Last Word,

"Manifest, Freedom!"