Full Disclosure Ch. 10

Authors Note: This is a transitional chapter. It's a bit comedic and dramatic, and no sex. If you're looking for a quick spank, this isn't it. But the next few will be. ;)

Number 10: Repeat After Me

It was the last day for a lot of people. Since the resort only offered two ferries a week, one on Saturday, the other on Wednesday, many would leave tomorrow while new guests would arrive, seeing as how people generally needed to return to work. It was much more likely people would head home on a weekend instead of mid-week. And it was obvious that many people felt this was their last hurrah just by looking around the grounds, Elijah realized as he walked outside with Natalie.

More topless women than ever, and people were far closer than he'd seen up until now by the pool. It seemed nearly everyone was coupled up, huddled close to a partner, touches more direct than usual. They had both paused, no doubt Natalie noticing the change in the atmosphere as well, as right in front of them a guy was massaging a brunette's bare chest under the guise of applying suntan lotion, though there was no way it wasn't rubbed in by this point.

"Damn," Natalie breathed, her eyes travelling the landscape. She leaned toward Elijah. "You'd think the world was about to be hit by a meteor."

"Right?" Elijah burst, glad to know he wasn't alone with what he had been thinking. Turning to look at Natalie, he asked, "Is it weird?" And it held a tone of being genuinely curious, because he didn't know how he felt about it.

Natalie shrugged. "I can't tell yet," she said, meeting Elijah's eyes. "I mean, I guess if you've been with someone here and you're about to leave, you'd probably want to spend time..." Her thought trailed there, and she shrugged once more. She honestly didn't know. They still had another week, taking next Saturday's boat. But it did make her wonder how she'd feel next Friday when their time was up. The whole thing had been so surreal that she'd forgotten a world outside of this place existed. But with many departing tomorrow, it was a reminder that this was not reality.

Last night had certainly been unreal. They'd basked together with Ashley and Jackson for another hour, just talking like normal people who weren't naked on a king size bed and hadn't been fucking for hours, before finally saying good night and returning to their room. As had happened the previous nights, they'd both felt too exhausted to really enjoy each other, though for the first time in a year, they'd fallen asleep holding each other. And that was a positive change. So at least they were making progress?

Maybe.

They'd yet to be alone with someone else, and that was certainly coming. Natalie still wasn't sure how she felt about it, though understood necessity. It was, however, feeling less necessary. And she had been wondering if maybe they should talk about rethinking their agreement. But as she'd suggested it so many years ago, to Elijah's hesitation, she did not want to be the one hesitating now. He'd brought it up, she would not question it unless he decided to readdress the allowance.

"Anyone we know leaving?" Natalie asked as they finally began to walk toward some empty seating, very close to where they'd been camping out in their earlier days when they'd first arrived. So far at least, they were the first there, and she realized she hadn't enquired about length of stay from anyone.

Sitting down on a lounge chair, Elijah ran his fingers through his dark blonde curls until his hand was at the back of his head, where he gave it a scratch. "I'm actually not sure," he responded. It hadn't dawned on him once to ask. Something about this place made people forget that it could end. That they weren't here forever.

The thought struck him that maybe Leah was leaving, and he hadn't had his chance with her. When Beth entered the equation, he had a moment of considering that maybe it would be best they left. He'd avoided her the last few days, unfairly, as it wasn't her fault she'd developed deeper feelings, but there it was nonetheless. There would be other women. But Leah...

Leah he still wanted, and if they were leaving tomorrow, tonight would have to be the night. And as this dawned on him, he knew for certain that tonight would be the first night he didn't spend with Natalie. He began to question his resolve. He knew how unfair it was; that he wanted to be alone with someone while not wanting Natalie fucking someone behind his back. Really it was inexcusable. But again, there it was, also nonetheless.

'Nonetheless' was his perpetual state of being. So many conflicts. Somehow he'd have to adjust his attitude, force a casualness and ease that he should be assuming the way Natalie always would. She was immune to jealousy and contradiction, and it could feel infuriating at times. It was one of the reasons he would feel distance. He felt he couldn't live up to her standard.

It wasn't long before what had become their "crew" arrived in waves, beginning with Beth and Leah, who eagerly made a run for it when they'd been spotted. "Oh my god, where have you been the last few days?" Beth cried, sitting down on the lounge beside Elijah.

Warily, Elijah inhaled before saying, "Nat and I wanted to spend some time together," then reconsidered. "Well, the golfing aside. That had just been to get some male-bonding time."

"You're not leaving tomorrow, are you?" Beth asked, her features struck with worry.

Which of course answered Elijah's question. They would still be around. But as he'd grown concerned Leah may be leaving, he had his heart set on her tonight and that wouldn't disappear despite knowing now that it wouldn't be his last shot. "No, you?"

"We leave Wednesday," Leah said, spreading lotion along her arms. "The sorority activities don't really begin until next week, but we have to be back for the planning leading into it."

Clearly, she was miffed. Elijah hadn't been around for two days, and the fact that she hadn't looked at him once made it obvious that she was trying to punish him for his absence. Not that he really cared. He could punish just as well, only in a different way.

Erin and Terrance were right behind them, showing up five minutes later. In a way, it was nice to see them still together. At least two people had found a partner they'd wanted to stick with while here, but it was immediately apparent that Erin had a cloud over her head. Without having to ask, Elijah knew Terrance was one of the many departing tomorrow. They said their hellos, then cuddled up together on the same lounger, keeping to themselves.

When Luc was spotted making his way toward them, Melaina was holding his arm, and Natalie instantly sat up, searching for Etienne. "Bonjour," he said, aiming this at Natalie, then added, "Good morning" to the rest before sitting down to Natalie's left with Melaina on the other side.

"Bonjour," Natalie said, feeling her heart sink a little. She swallowed heavily, wanting to ask where Etienne was, but stifled the need, instead asking, "Vous partez demain?"

Luc shook his head. "Samedi prochain."

A relief washed through her. They weren't leaving tomorrow. Next Saturday, he'd said, which aligned with their departure. But it was quickly replaced with her initial concern.

Luc must have seen something in her face, perhaps how her brows had furrowed. "Il sera bientôt là," he said, and Natalie knew the French was purposeful this time, truly meant to exclude the others, because it actually mattered, unlike telling her they had another week.

He'll be here soon.

Hating to even ask--absolutely despising her need to know--she gently closed her eyes. At least Luc had an understanding of how she felt, since he'd offered the tidbit of information. Maybe Etienne had shared with his friend that she meant something to him. Still, the question left her mouth before she could stop it.

"Seul?"

Luc looked away, taking the spray can of sunscreen from Melaina. "Je ne sais pas," he responded awkwardly.

How fucking ridiculous. Natalie was instantly angry with herself for even asking if he was showing up alone--but the fact Luc didn't know if he was showing up alone or not made it even worse. Her emotions had gotten the better of her, and it made her so enraged that she'd allowed it.

"Can you guys just speak in fucking English for once?" Leah demanded, which only fueled Natalie's fury. She absolutely hated that girl. For Christ's sake, she was three lounge chairs away. What the fuck did Leah care if she was having a conversation with Luc in French.

Rolling her eyes, she returned to her inner turmoil, ignoring Leah entirely, even though she was continuing to bitch to Beth about Natalie purposefully leaving them out of her conversations, though in a more hushed tone. But the bigger problem was that... she'd dared to ask Luc if Etienne would arrive alone, and his answer was that he didn't know.

Two nights ago she had been with Vincent. Last night she had partner swapped with another couple. So to expect that Etienne was remaining celibate was such an egregious double standard, especially considering she was fucking married. But the simple fact of the matter was that she felt they shared something so deeply that she'd actually believed he could be the only person in the world capable of tearing her from Elijah.

It would give her an answer, and not necessarily the answer she wanted, but she'd wanted to explore it, if only to give her marriage the most difficult test of its strength. She could feel it grow; her hatred of herself, and she'd need some time to readjust her attitude. At least that was something she was good at, though with this in particular, it felt insurmountable. She had no idea how much time it would take, and felt it best to separate herself immediately, as that was how she always dealt with unreasonable emotions.

"I think I might take a walk on the beach," Natalie said, gathering the bag she always carried that contained her sunscreen, a wrap, hairbrush and other miscellany. She stared at it, then looked up at Elijah. "Unless you're going to stay here for a bit. Maybe I can leave this?"

"Sure," Elijah said, watching his wife in consternation as she rose from the chair, wrapping her hair with an elastic into a ponytail. The fact that he hadn't understood her conversation with Luc had also annoyed him, but it was clear she hadn't liked what had been said. Which could only mean it had something to do with Etienne.

Thinking it through, maybe she'd found out they were leaving tomorrow. And his annoyance dissipated, taking two directions; a relief that Etienne may be out of the picture soon, since he knew Natalie cared about him, and a pity for her, also because he knew she cared about him. Since they were moving toward this 'open door' to gain a final answer on whether or not they may want someone else, he had to consider the fairness of it. Especially since he'd made up his mind that he wished to explore the possibility with Leah. Tonight. If she was still interested, anyways.

Revising his perspective, he softened to offer her some empathy. He knew she liked to deal with things alone, and that was exactly what she was doing. And she'd return feeling better, as she always did. "Hey," he said, taking her hand before she walked away. "Take your time." He then gently tugged at her, and she bent over to give him a kiss.

The kiss hurt Natalie's heart. Here she was caught up in Etienne, but Elijah was right here, and she loved him. All the more reason to spend time alone and get herself in check. "I'll try not to be long," she said. "Just a jog, I think."

She began to walk away, down toward the end of the pool where the long path stretched down the short bluff to the beach. Looking back just as she reached it, she saw Etienne standing in front of the group. And he was not alone. Jessica was at his side.

Natalie made a run for it, feeling like a child as she scaled the bluff and hoping he hadn't seen her. She didn't want him to know she was trying to escape. It felt too pathetic.

"Your girlfriend just took off," Leah said casually to Etienne. "How do I say that in French?"

Elijah closed his eyes, rethinking his wish to be with Leah. But the opposite grew. He was pissed by the snide comments, her pointed attacks on Natalie. But it only made that feeling of wanting to spank her naked ass grow.

"Girlfriend?" Jessica asked, annoyed.

Elijah's annoyance enhanced. Drama. And so he removed himself from it by leaning back and shutting his eyes, waiting it out. Men could certainly be huge assholes, probably more so than women. But at least they were direct about it, whereas women--some women, anyways--would stir a pot with manipulation.

"Try this: Je suis une salope." Etienne said slowly, over enunciating the syllables as one would carefully teach French to an English speaker. "Repeat it for me?"

Luc snorted, and Elijah opened his eyes, obscured by his sunglasses so no one would know he was watching. Etienne was obviously pissed.

"Je suis une salope," Leah repeated, though her accent left a lot to be desired. Luc burst into full on laughter, and Elijah saw Etienne begin to smile.

He may not speak French, but he knew what Je suis meant. It was one of the first phrases anyone would learn in their first week of a class. Whatever had followed, Etienne had just instructed Leah to say she was something, because Je suis meant "I am."

Whatever. Shaking his head, he just wanted the drama to end. And yet still, it wouldn't.

"What does she mean, girlfriend?" Jessica asked, tugging on Etienne's arm. "I didn't know you were here with someone."

Rising in his chair, Elijah lowered his glasses to put an end to it. Glaring at Leah, he said to Jessica, "She means my wife." Leah instantly looked down in contrition, and so he turned his attention to Jessica and Etienne. "I'm here with her, we're married, she's not anyone's girlfriend. But she does speak fluent French, so Etienne has spent time with her, and that's all there is to it."

When he caught the look of gratitude on Etienne's face, Elijah gave him a nod, having done his good deed for the day. And even though he knew he shouldn't be encouraging it, he decided to take it one step further. Natalie deserved her answers as much as he did. "She went to jog the beach," he told him pointedly. "It's something she does to clear her thoughts."

Elijah was fully aware Etienne caught his meaning, reading between the lines. He may regret it later. Hell, he was already feeling the regret creeping in. But if he was about to sleep with someone else privately--though he was really questioning his decision that it would be Leah--he absolutely must make an equal concession for Natalie.

He then leaned back in the lounger and shut everything off. Fuck everyone this morning, honestly. Surrounded by people getting frisky, yet here he was listening to bullshit from people he'd started to consider friends. He had half a mind to go for a jog himself, see if it would help him in the way it would help Natalie. Jesus Christ.

Just as he was fading out a half hour later, falling asleep in the sun since everyone had quieted down, he felt someone sit down beside him. Opening his eyes into squints, despite wearing sunglasses, he met Leah's gaze.

Placing her hand on his chest, she frowned, biting her lower lip. "I'm so sorry," she said genuinely. "I don't know why I said that." Elijah glanced over to find Beth missing, which had to be the only reason Leah had decided to talk to him now. "I get jealous, and I'm an extrovert with zero filter. I think I just missed seeing you the last few days. I really hope... I hope you'll forgive me."

"What you said was so wrong," Elijah responded, as he didn't want to let her off the hook. He was truly annoyed by her behavior, though it had lessened over the last half hour, and he'd be cold to dismiss her apology. It must have taken some courage, albeit probably done for selfish reasons. In all fairness, though, he had his own selfish reasons for forgiveness. "Don't do it again."

"I won't," Leah said absolutely, her tone a sincere promise. "Please don't be mad at me."

Elijah covered her hand with his and nodded. "I'm not mad at you," he told her. "But I will be if it happens again. Despite my interest in you, she's my wife."

Vigorously nodding her head, Leah said, "I know." But her smile crept into a grin. "But... so, uhm. Your interest in me?"

It was now or never. "Yes," Elijah said hesitantly. "Natalie is my wife and I don't like the shit talk. But we have an open relationship here. I'm interested."

Leah's grin widened. "I swear I'll make it up to you," she said, twirling a lock of her hair in a more flirtatious way. "Do you, ah... want to swim down to the bar with me? Get a drink?"

It went briefly considered, but two thoughts crossed Elijah's mind. One, he was still dealing with his annoyance. But two, if they were going to mess around, he wanted it to be in private, probably later tonight. "Maybe later this afternoon," he said, then revised. "No, definitely this afternoon. But right now I'm going to relax for a bit."

"Okay," Leah said, then rose. "Looking forward to it."

After jogging to the south for a few miles along the surf, Natalie had turned around, passing the resort until she reached the large boulders up in the north. She had scaled the largest one--the one she'd sat on with Etienne a few days ago, and was watching the waves crash against the rock below while still organizing her thoughts.

She felt miles better, as if each stretch of land had relieved immense pressure. The air was also calming; the scent of the sea, the breeze tearing at her ponytail. She'd recognized that her jealousy had been misplaced. That it wasn't actually about Etienne, it was about her troubled marriage. Etienne was only symbolic of something she'd already been feeling; an emotion that had transformed into jealousy because she couldn't put a name on what she actually felt in regards to Elijah.

Her moods when it came to Elijah were mercurial. She'd spend hours with him feeling they'd made so much progress, only to make the sudden switch of recognizing what it was taking to make progress at all. What kind of marriage hinged on sleeping with other people? Further, how could she fairly say progress was being made when she held strong emotions for someone else.

Moving two steps forward, then three steps backward is not progress. In addition, side-steps were made along the way, figuratively and literally. Which only equated to evolution. Her marriage was evolving, though into what she didn't know.

Regardless, she'd calmed, and that was all that was important now. It made no sense to dwell on decisions that had been made, and she stood by every choice. If given a chance to change anything thus far, she would have declined. This was all happening because it was supposed to.

Mildly started by hearing the sounds of feet scaling the rocks behind her, she spun around while steadying herself on the precarious ledge she'd been perched on. In front of her was a steep fall to water that churned violently against the stone, and she narrowed her eyes at Etienne.

"You shouldn't sneak up on someone up this high," she told him as he hoisted himself up the last few feet.

Standing beside her, he peered over the edge in curiosity, his feet inches from the ledge, and she couldn't help but look up at his tall lean body, admiring how the wind swept at his hair. He looked like a statue who had fearlessly conquered a mountain; some great explorer. "Maybe it would be wise not to sit so close to the ledge," he responded, turning his attention to her with a crooked smile, then stepped back and carelessly plopped down beside her as though the dangerous height meant nothing at all.

Peering at him as he gazed out at the water, Natalie finally asked, "Why are you here?"

Etienne brought his knees up, placed his elbows upon them. "Would you believe this is my favorite place on the island?"

"Hm," Natalie responded, looking out over the ocean as well. It certainly was hers, she'd decided. The view was too beautiful, but it also mattered because it was here that she'd allowed herself to accept her emotions instead of constantly trying to fight them. Her thoughts and emotions required recognition, it was the only way she'd ever move forward. "It is a beautiful spot."

"With a beautiful view," Etienne agreed, and out of the corner of her eye, Natalie noticed he was now looking at her. "Listen, Natalie. Just say the word--"

"Nope," Natalie said, shaking her head infinitesimally as she kept her gaze on the horizon. "There is no word to say. What you choose to do is your business, just as what I choose to do is mine."

Etienne nodded coolly. "Yes," he agreed. "Or..." There was a long pause as he took Natalie's hand, letting it rest on her thigh. "Or we could choose to allow it to be the others business, because I know all of yours, and you know all of mine. Why hide these facts?"

"Well," Natalie began, turning to face him though keeping her eyes on their entwined hands. "Maybe because I'm a hypocrite? I've already told you why I'm here, but I don't need to even ask why you decided on this place with your friend. Two single men do not come here for any other reason than to have meaningless sex with strangers. My reasons are more complicated, but yours are simple. My hypocrisy is that I've placed my complicated reasons on you, an innocent party that I am using to find an endgame."

Eyes narrowing, Etienne removed his hand from hers. "Merde alors," he hissed, jaw tightening. It genuinely surprised Natalie that he'd had such a violent reaction, telling her that what she'd just said was 'absolute shit'. "Luc discovered this place and didn't want to go alone. Because I am single, fresh out of a relationship, it sounded like fun. Beautiful women, a resort encouraging depravity. And why not? But how dare you decide my innocence? I am not a child, I am not innocent. You believe you are using me? I counter, in fact raise your bet. I am using someone too for my own complicated reasons."

"Complicated reasons that are a direct result of mine," Natalie sighed.

"J'en ai rien à cirer."

Natalie whipped her head to him angrily. "How can you not give a fuck?" she demanded.

"Because I made a choice!" Etienne countered, matching her furious tone. He softened though with a long sigh. "Unlike most here, I arrived open to the idea to find someone who mattered. And I did. You. And you can argue it all you like, I know every reason you could present, and still my choice was made. You matter to me, but you do not get to decide for me the way to proceed." He firmly pointed to the beach behind them. "If all I ever get is that--kissing you in the sand--my choice was made with no regrets."

Natalie groaned in exasperation. "You can't have me, Etienne," she told him firmly. "You may have me here, but I will go home and you'll never see me again. Maybe you should rethink your choice."

Instantly shifting, Etienne powerfully reached over and grabbed her head, pulling her toward him by clutching the back of her neck. "Ferme ta gueule," he said under his breath, and she had no choice other than to 'shut the fuck up' as he kissed her fiercely.

Not that she protested, instead kissing him back, forgetting they were on a ledge and one wrong move could send them over. And fuck it if that happened, they'd already fallen anyways. She could feel his anger in their kiss. Perhaps anger was the wrong word. More annoyance, though it seemed to soften, gradually dissipating before he finally brought his head back.

"I will have you," Etienne said firmly, his eyes determined. His thumb stroked her cheek, hand laced in her hair behind her ear. "I'm not so fragile as you think. I can live with my choices. Stop trying to make them for me."

Natalie wanted him this second. The strength of telling her he would have her had sent that jolt through her body to her core. Perched on this boulder, it was a physical representation of everything she felt. Dangerously high, teetering on an edge that could change her life.

"And Jessica?" she asked breathlessly.

"Insignifiante," he responded. "She filled a void when I didn't see you the last few days. She came with me to the pool because you hadn't been around, and I thought maybe this morning would be like the last two. I'd considered that maybe I wouldn't see you again, that you had made your decisions. I was with her to try to forget."

Natalie could not help but kiss him once more. After parting, she said, "You need to know that I was with other people, too. Not just Elijah. Does that change anything for you?"

"No," Etienne said firmly. Tilting his head to the side, he added, "And you will be again before you leave. You follow your reasons to find your answers. I respect that."

Feeling her heart ache, Natalie released her jealousy. Focused for a moment, making it a physical object inside of her that she was forcing out into the air. "When I am not with you, continue with Jessica. Or others. I want that for you in return because I respect you as much."

Nodding, Etienne stroked his hand down to her shoulder. His eyes fell to her chest, and she felt him pulling at the strap of her bikini. "And when will I have you?" he asked, then cleared his throat. "I know you said slow. I'm happy with slow, but I still want time, even if it is nothing more than a few hours kissing on the sand."

"I'm ready," Natalie said as the finger he had hooked under her strap brushed down to the top of the yellow triangle of her string bikini. And she meant it. She wholly meant it, so powerfully that it felt urgent. "Do you have plans tonight?"

When Etienne met her eyes, she registered his surprise, but he reined it in, morphing his features into a more wicked grin. "I am expecting a beautiful woman tonight," he said. "In my bed. I hope she shows up."

"I think she will," Natalie said, touching his chest. "She just needs to make sure her schedule is clear."

Brushing his cheek against hers in the seductive way he'd done before, he whispered. "Clear it for me. I promise I will please you."

After kissing once more, they scaled back down the boulder and walked hand in hand back to the resort.