Not Exactly What He Had in Mind! 06

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Part 6: Keeley is forced to either confront the darkest part of her past... or lose me forever!

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Something kept waking me up, although Keeley looked to be sleeping soundly right beside me.

The bed sheet was down around her hips leaving her small perfect breasts exposed. I watched them move up and down as she breathed. Just the sight of her areolas and nipples caused my usual morning woody to start twitching.

Her long red curls had escaped from her loosely tied pony tail. Although her face was mostly covered by the wealth of her hair, I could still see that her lips curved upwards in a slight dreamy smile. She looked relaxed, contented and oh so very beautiful.

The constant pervasive pain from her attack on Saturday night was finally beginning to fade... but it would still be a long while before certain private parts of her body recovered... and even longer for the bruises on her wrists and ankles to finally go away.

But Keeley could at least now sit, stand, walk, talk and start to plan for her future without being in constant discomfort.

Working together and with care... we'd even begun to please each other in a limited way in bed... although Keeley had already hurt us both with her frustration and impatience several times.

Full sex was still denied us by the marathon extreme bondage session Shelly had inflicted on Keeley.

But in the long run that may have been the best thing that could have ever happened to us. We were forced to learn each others bodies in a depth that most couples never achieve.

I looked again at Keeley's dreamy smile and returned to the puzzle of what had woken me up early.

I yawned deeply and felt profoundly tired... especially after our impromptu financial planning session... I wanted to lay my head back down but knew I would just wake up again if I didn't figure out the cause.

The candles had burned themselves out long ago. The small bedroom was now only dimly lit by the night light in the bathroom. The heavy blackout shades on the windows kept the blazing late afternoon sun at bay.

Fuzzy headed from days of lacking anything close to the proper amount of sleep, I slowly tried to pinpoint the cause of my problem. I looked over at the clock yet again and sighed deeply.

It was almost 4pm. In three more hours I would be clocking in for my fourth night shift of the week. I usually woke up at 6pm and was at my desk booting up my computers by 7pm. Then it was a long 12 hour shift of fixing other designers' mistakes.

All I usually wanted to do after a shift was stumble up the three flights of stairs to my tiny little apartment and collapse. That was my normal routine at least four days a week. Sometimes I had to work five or even six shifts a week.

Making lazy graphic artists look like geniuses paid well, but the lack of recognition or even a simple 'thank you' was often really discouraging.

If I wasn't a night person to begin with... and enjoyed the work itself so much... I would have quit a long, long time ago.

I stifled a loud yawn not wanting to disturb Keeley.

Even when I pulled 18 days straight on that big project last year, I wasn't this exhausted. So why couldn't I sleep?

I looked around the room to see if there was something I was overlooking. It was almost pitch black... a definite must for day sleepers. Everything seemed quiet.

No noisy neighbors to put up with because everyone that lived in my building was still at work. This was the top floor so no one was walking around on my "ceiling."

Something still wasn't right and I just knew it would be obvious if I wasn't so tired.

Keeley had worn us both out pretty well last night, too. A slight bump shook the bedroom door. After a moment it happened again, but this time it was accompanied by a slight meow.

Ruthy!

I carefully slid out of bed trying to keep from waking up Keeley. I padded naked over to the bedroom door and opened it up just wide enough for my cat to slip through. The light streaming in from the rest of the apartment lit up the bedroom.

I could now easily see the massage oil and small towels still sitting on Keeley's nightstand.

My sweet little redhead looked even more wonderful to me and her pale skin seemed to almost glow.

I just stood there staring at her... until an angry frown crossed her sleeping face... and she turned over and away from light.

Peeking out the bedroom door, I saw that we had left the heavy night shades open on the other windows. Only the venetian blinds were closed. Keeley must have woken up sometime this morning and shut the bedroom door to keep out the light.

But she forgot that she was locking out the 'real' owner of the apartment.

I reached down to pet my irate cat and got my hand swatted for my trouble. Putting my scratched fingers in my mouth, I quickly went to pull down the inner shades on each window. They had been a real pain to install correctly but they worked wonderfully, if I do say so myself.

After the last one was down I went into the kitchen to check Ruthy's water and food bowls. Even though they weren't empty, I refilled them anyway. That got me a purr and a head butt from my little guard cat.

"Just meow next time... and don't knock your self silly trying to break the door down with your head. It wasn't my fault this time either! Really! Scratch the person responsible for it next time!"

Ruthy did her little cat dance running between my legs as an apology.

I managed not to trip over her as I went back to the bedroom and quietly made it into the bathroom. Taking a chance with angering Ruthy again, I closed the bathroom door for a moment. Hopefully Keeley wouldn't hear me running the sink or flushing the toilet.

I slowly reopened the door and Keeley still looked sound asleep in the dim light.

I carefully slid back into bed and looked at the clock again. I still hoped I could get at least an hours more sleep before I had to start my 'day'. I was so tempted to reach over and pull Keeley to me. I wanted very much to feel her naked body against mine again.

As I raised my arm up towards her, a slight thump interrupted me.

Ruthy had jumped up on the dresser to claim her normal sleeping perch. I paused and watched her turn around in a few circles before she laid down. Her eyes glowed reproachfully at me and I lowered my arm back down.

As soon as I did, my cat's eyes closed, although one of them seemed to slit back open to keep spying on me.

Just what I needed, a feline chaperone!

Giving up, I closed my own eyes and tried not to think about the naked redhead in bed beside me. Despite thoughts of lust and worries about our situation, I eventually managed to drift back off to sleep.

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I was having the most wonderful dream.

I imagined that after so many long months, I finally had Keeley naked in my own bed. Her lithe dancers body pressing against my legs as she kissed her way down to my groin.

In my dream, I shivered as she opened wide and engulfed my soft cock. Her warm mouth and velvet tongue were working together to make me hard.

Her sharp teeth nibbling at the head sometimes to keep me guessing about what was coming next.

I felt her hands grip my shaft as she lowered her mouth further down my body.

She licked each of my balls and even tried to suck them both deeply into her mouth at the same time. Failing that, her tongue went even lower and licked for a few moments there at my opening. When she began her journey upwards again she left as much saliva on my shaft as she could.

In my dream I felt her body shifting to get a better angle.

Slowly she lowered her head down. Her lips tightened around my shaft as she took almost half of my semi-hard cock inside her mouth. After a brief pause, she continued until I felt her nuzzle the base of my cock.

The head was deep in her throat and I could feel the warm breath coming from her nose on my stomach.

Slowly she began to move up and down. I felt the head move all the way out to her teeth and then follow down the back of her tongue again. Her throat tightened around my shaft and I moaned in pleasure.

I was dreaming Keeley was in the middle of her third or fourth deepthroating motion... I felt myself reach full size and my balls tingled with the need to come soon... and then I woke up and almost ruined everything.

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In reality my cock had responded to the dream and was "mostly" hard. Meaning it was stiff enough to enter her mouth or pussy but not yet its full rampant size. I still don't think of myself as large, especially if you consider the size of most dicks in porno these days, but I at least thought myself a bit above average.

Where the HELL they are finding all of these mutants I'd like to know... really... I'm completely serious.

If the side effects weren't too bad... I'd consider volunteering for whatever secret government testing program these guys were guinea pigs for!

But I was usually proud of what I had and thought I used it very well. I was especially proud... maybe too egotistically proud... of the control I usually had over my cock.

This, however, was not one of my better moments.

As soon as I was awake enough to realize that it was no dream... and that Keeley really was the girl deep throating me... my cock exploded suddenly into its full size.

Before Keeley could even react, my cock leapt and my hips jerked in response.

The sudden increase in girth caused her to start to choke. Her gagging caused me to flex the full length of my stiffening cock. It's normal upward curve hardened fully. The cock head itself flared wide in response.

The involuntary reactions in her throat as she tried to expel me caused me to thrash around in all directions.

Several quick shudders flew thru my body and my hips rocketed forward impaling myself deeper than ever inside Keeley. I even felt my abdomen push hard against Keeley's nose as I bottomed out.

With a mumbled cry of pain, she finally managed to push herself away and my cock slithered out of her throat in a spray of saliva.

Coughing and wheezing, Keeley tried to regain control of her breathing. She fell back against the footboard in a hard thump.

My whole body was still trembling in lust as I finally fought my way to full consciousness.

Horrified, I pulled my entire body away from underneath Keeley. I crouched near the headboard as she continued her struggle. I just held myself frozen in place waiting for her to recover.

It took a very long time.

"Why the HELL did you do that?" Keeley eventually managed to cough out.

I chickened out and said nothing. Keeley's coughing continued and she massaged her throat. She flipped her hair away from her face and glared at me. Her infamous... but thankfully rare... temper was growing and was almost at full steam.

"It's not easy to take a dick as big as yours down a throat. How would you feel if I did that to you?" Another round of coughing shook her body.

Silence now would be the worst thing I could do... not that talking would make that much difference in the end.

I tried the truth: "I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry. I was asleep. I had no idea what was going on until I woke up. Then I got so excited, I kind of just lost it. I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"You weren't asleep. You were talking with me. You answered questions. How could you have been asleep? I told you to stay still and you said you would!" The anger in her voice competed with betrayal.

I tried reason: "Why would I hurt you? If I was really awake, I'd have told you no! You know that, don't you? It's too soon for you to do that to me!"

"Maybe so, but I wanted to try. It's my body and I know what it can take better than you. Look at what all I accomplished yesterday. You said it would be weeks before I could take a walk that long. I wanted to try and deepthroat you... and... and... you said it was ok for me to do you!"

I tried making her feel guilty: "We've talked about this! You know what my ex-wife used to do to me. You know I'm still not over that completely. This is supposed to help make me trust you?"

"But you told me it was ok. I cared enough to ask you and promised you'd let me at least try!" Keeley coughed a bit more and then finally seemed to notice how far I was away from her. "Are you ok? Did I hurt you with my teeth?"

This time I tried fear.. which I had in abundance at the moment :"No. I'm just scared."

"Scared? Scared of what?"

"Everything." I admitted.

"You'll have to explain that," she said petulantly.

"I used to wake up with my ex doing that, when she was trying to get pregnant by me. She'd do that and get me very close while I was still asleep... and then climb on top of me... and put me inside of her just before I came. That's why I wasn't so hard at first. I my dream I thought it was just her down there trying to trick me again. Then when I figured out it wasn't a dream... and that it was really you down there... I got a little excited."

"That's an understatement if I ever heard one. But I was talking to you. You made sense. You answered questions correctly. That's not normal."

"What? You ask a guy if he wants his dick sucked? What totally exhausted guy is going to say no to that, asleep or awake?" I said acidly.

"You might have a point there. Lay back down. Please. You look ridiculous huddled up there."

"Why?", I said warily.

"I'm going to try again. You at least owe me that." She patted the middle of the bed encouragingly. "Don't you think so?"

"No." I said childishly. "I don't wanna."

"I don't think I'm gonna give you a choice in the matter."

The look in her eye was pretty serious. There are worse things than having your new girlfriend insist on using your cock as a practice toy. I submitted uneasily and began to lay back down on the bed.

Keeley's smile was a mixture of triumph, lust and wonder at her own growing control.

"I swear, if you do anything like that again... awake or asleep... you will regret it. Is that understood?", she said, daring me to disagree.

"Yes..." I tried to think of a title to give her, but my mind drew a blank.

I'd already forbidden her to use 'Master' when referring to me. I'd even kidded her that she would never hear a 'Mistress Keeley' escape my lips. I just hoped she hadn't picked up on my almost verbal mistake.

I needn't have worried because her eyes were already focused on my totally soft shriveled cock.

"I still don't trust you. Put your hands up on the headboard."

"Its not the same if I put them there. You had better come up here and do it yourself," I said seriously.

"You do it, I'm busy."

"Keeley... please... its not the same."

"I said do it!" Keeley's voice was sharp and had an almost uncaring edge to it.

I was beginning to be able to recognize the signs of trouble faster... and this wasn't looking good.

"So be it!" Keeley missed the inflection in my voice entirely.

I shrugged and put both of my hands on the headboard in their now familiar position.

I could see Keeley's face while she looked intently at my soft cock. Knowing what was coming, I couldn't help but start to get a little excited. It was as if she was trying to will me into having an erection with just her mind.

As soon as my cock twitched once... and then began moving on it's own... I immediately lost sight of it.

Keeley's long red hair hid my view as she bent down to begin licking me.

I could feel her breathing excitedly through her nose. The warm air flowing over my nearly hairless shaved balls made them shift around in anticipation.

Keeley even used a series of small bites to tug my shaft into a straighter position.

Using her hands to spread my legs further apart, she gained better access to my balls. They were still loose and as low as they ever seemed to get, which wasn't saying very much.

Her tongue swathed around them and they began to draw upwards. Before they could get very far, she sucked one into her mouth and tightened her lips. She slowly pulled downwards until it popped out of her mouth.

She kept going back and forth until she could no longer get a firm grip on them using just her lips.

I gasped and shuddered as she used the thumb and forefinger of her left hand to make a circle just above my balls. She tightened her grip and both of them were stretched taut against the inside skin of my sack.

Her tongue bathed both of my straining orbs in long slow sensuous strokes. By now my cock was beginning to feel ignored but that didn't last for long.

I groaned even louder as Keeley lowered her head further. This was just like my dream and I finally relaxed back into the bed.

"You like that, don't you?", she purred.

Any lingering thoughts I had about my ex vanished as Keeley lightly flicked her tongue around my lower entrance. As she stiffened her tongue and pushed, I felt her right hand encircle the base of my cock.

As Keeley finally pushed her tongue inside of me... both of her hands tightened just a bit more... and the skin on my cock and balls stretched to a point just shy of pain.

She strained to get even more of her tongue inside me and her breathing became labored in her efforts.

After just a few licks more she moved back up to my balls.

If I could have, I would have used my hands to force her head back down there.

My ex had done that so rarely for me... despite her asking and getting me doing to do it for her often... so that made it a real struggle for me to obey Keeley and keep my hands firmly in place.

I had to settle for Keeley licking around my sack and squeezing the base of my cock tight. She opened her mouth wide with a groan and she succeeded in getting my entire sack inside.

When she finally released my balls they quickly pulled upwards out of reach of her tongue.

Keeley now transferred that free hand to the middle of my shaft.

I groaned again as she started moving both hands up and down. Her softness and warmth felt so good to me. My cock was beginning to swell even more as she increased the pressure on just the base of my cock. The trapped blood flow speeded up the process.

Her tongue licked my shaft just above her left hand. I could feel her saliva begin to run down my full length.

She carefully avoided any contact with my sometimes ridiculously over sensitive cock head.

Keeley finally released the base of my cock. She used her free hand to flip her hair out of the way. She looked me in the eyes and said, "This is exactly how big it was earlier when you were asleep. I had no problem with it then. Just don't move your hips this time, ok?"

I managed a nod... I wasn't sure if Keeley had "gagged" me in her usual imaginary manner... she had seemed to readily accepted totally verbal restraints for me since the horriffic incident with her makeshift blindfold.

Neither one of us ever wanted a repeat of my strange reaction to such minor physical bondage.

Keeley seemed to think that the verbal commands were also a greater challenge for me... and that was helping her to relearn even more trust... than if I had actually been bound, gagged and blindfolded for real.

Each time I successfully completed one of her tests... she seemed to regain some of her old confidence even faster.

I took a deep breath and prayed that this would turn out as well as Keeley hoped it would.

Whether or not I could live up to my vaunted claims of control I honestly didn't know.

I retightened my grip on the headboard and waited for Keeley to try deepthroating me.

Wet sloppy kisses engulfed the head of my cock. As she opened her mouth more she squeezed my shaft even harder. My head flared in response. When she released my shaft it resumed its former size.

I held my breath as I watched her head go lower... my cockhead didn't twitch a bit as it reached the back of her tongue.

I let it out a disappointed groan when her hair fell back down and blocked my view again.

I struggled to fix the word 'Ponytail" in my mind for future reference.

I didn't have much hope that I would remember it... because I doubted whether I would be in a state to remember anything from one moment to the next very shortly.

Left to just my imagination, it felt like she was taking at least half of my length into her mouth. Then she stopped. After a moment I could feel her breathing deeply through her nose as she paused to get used to everything again.

I felt her inhale deeply as if she was about to hold her breath to go under water.

Then Keeley pushed her way down just a little bit further.

I felt both of her hands reach around to grab my buttocks. Using them to help impale herself, she pulled slowly until I felt my cockhead slip into the top of her throat.

Keeley froze in place, holding her position as long as she could.

I could feel her fighting off a gag, but she mastered it. I felt my cockhead ever so slowly slide out of her throat and back into just her mouth. Keeley's breathing was coming fast in through her nose and out of her mouth.

Having that sensation so prolonged was unique in my experience. I was used to having my cock either in or out... this in between state with her breath all around me... was causing me to struggle to keep my erection from getting any harder than it already was.

But I hadn't sensed her wince in any pain... so I permitted my self a moment of hope.

I thought that maybe working together we could avoid a repeat of yesterday morning.

After Keeley caught her breath... she went down on me again.

This time she made it to her previous mark in one smooth motion. Again she used her grip on my ass to pull herself further down. My cock was in heaven. Her tight throat massaged my shaft as she struggled to keep from gagging. Surprisingly, I had no overly excited feelings from the tip.

The pressure was perfect along my shaft and it caused me to flex my cock. I felt the head flare in automatic response.

I winced when Keeley dug her long finger nails into my backside.

I got that message... loud and clear... and I did my best to keep myself under control.

The sensation was amazing as I felt her withdraw back to her "starting point" again. This time she opened her mouth even wider around my shaft and took a even deeper breaths.

Then I felt her lock her lips firmly back in place.

It seemed like an eternity before she moved back down again, but it must have been only a few moments.

I gasped as she used her grip to pull herself quickly back down. I felt a slight bump as my cock entered her throat again. A little wince shook her shoulders. Before I could say anything, she pulled herself down to the max.

Her nose was buried in the short well groomed hairs at the base of my groin.

She suddenly pulled even tighter and changed her angle to try and get even more of my cock down her throat.

One angle she tried seemed particularly painful and she started to gag again.

This time my cockhead really hurt her as it exited her throat.

A whimper shook her body and she totally lost her grip on my dick. Her saliva dripped onto my balls as my cock jerked free and slapped onto my stomach.

Keeley's breathing was hoarse and coming in deep shuddering gasps.

"You did it. You don't have anything left to prove," I said softly... trying to get to accept this first step as total victory.

But I knew that nothing less than my come in her mouth would end her attempt... and that my own partially healed fear would make that almost impossible now... this situation would end up taking everything she had in order for me to finally let go.

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"I'm not done yet! This thing gets even bigger when you are really excited. I've seen it lots bigger. Right before you come it seems enormous to me. This is the biggest cock I've ever had all the way down my throat. I never really had a problem with the size of Ex's cock, he was just too rough with me. The rougher he was the better he liked it... but that always kept me from relaxing and enjoying it myself... and I LIKE doing this!"

"Keeley... please stop... you don't have to prove anything to me right now."

"You don't even understand anything! Men! You get a little insight and make a few lucky guesses and you think you know everything! This is what I do! Its what I was always known for! I wasn't the prettiest girl... I never had the biggest boobs... or the curviest figure... or even a sexy tanned body. My skin burned every summer when I'd try to tan... and it always just made the freckles worse. Damn all freckles anyway! I didn't put out with anyone... ever... my dad would've killed me if I'd gotten pregnant! But THIS... THIS I could do better than ANY other girl!"

I just stared blankly at her... she was wrong... I DID already know this. She had shared what she had called 'her special fetish' with me the night she'd got so drunk at the club. That's actually what had got us in so much trouble.

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"No child should have had to go through what you did."

Keeley's head snapped up and she gave me a horrified look of utter terror.

"It wasn't a dream! I did tell you everything that night! I probably told the entire DAMN club too! FUCK! Why are you still here? Why did you ever let me move in with you? How cruel are you to give me false hope at this point in my life? How can you just lay there holding me knowing what I've done! What I am!"

She made to push away from me... to get off the bed... to start running away again.

I wouldn't let her go... if I did she would walk out of the apartment... and never stop running inside from this for the rest of her life.

Her struggles increased... but this time she was careful... she wasn't going to hurt me trying to get away.

That reflexive tendency to strike out blindly... at all costs... may have left her for good.

Maybe now she would stop her instantaneous rages for just a fraction of a second... just long enough to stop and see if the person closest at hand was someone who really cared for her... rather than let her tragic anger mistake them for some phantom from her past.

I certainly hoped so... I couldn't keep letting her use me as substitute for a punching bag forever.

When she stopped pushing against my unyielding muscles... and accepted that I wasn't going to let her go anywhere... she looked back at my face.

It was enough.

What she saw there stopped her in her tracks... both mentally and physically.

"I can hold you like this... even knowing everything... because I love you."

Slowly Keeley placed her head back down onto my chest and sobbed gently.

"No one at the club knows even the slightest bit of it at all... except for Kathy who knows enough to understand... only I know everything."

After a groan of relief... the sobs continued... soon the sobs weren't that gentle or that little.

All I could do was just hold onto her and wait for them to run their natural course. I guiltily snuck a glance at the clock on the nightstand. She was correct. We had time enough to do this right.

I just hoped we always did... and that it would always be enough.

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