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The Detour: Ch. 01

The Detour: Chapter 1

 

 

by Tristan Tharp

 

Calvin Hall was eighteen years old. For every one of those years, he'd lived a sheltered existence. His mother had been mayor of their small town for longer than he'd been alive. His father owned a lucrative factory that employed over half the town's adults. Cal's family was considered royalty.

The bullies at school had never bothered him, even though he wasn't very tall or athletic. They didn't dare. Their dads worked for his dad. Consequently, Cal had never been treated roughly. The only hardship he'd ever endured was overprotective parents.

After he graduated high school, Mom and Dad finally submitted to his incessant whining and gave him some freedom. That was the beginning of a series of life experiences Cal was not prepared for.

-----

He was less than two weeks into his summer long cross country trip, and it looked like he might not be going any further. He had ten more weeks to reach the university for the beginning of his freshman year... all the time in the world. But that wouldn't help if he died out in the middle of nowhere from heat or dehydration.The Detour: Ch. 01 фото

The 1960 Rambler Mom and Dad had recently bought for him was twelve years old, but it had been well maintained. It wasn't mechanical failure that brought it to a sputtering halt on the side of a remote gravel road. Cal just hadn't kept an eye on the gas gauge as Dad had repeatedly warned him. He hated when either of his parents were right about something.

Cal was already annoyed about the Rambler anyway. He'd demanded a new car, but Mom and Dad had presented him with a used vehicle. It was an unbelievable insult, but he'd been gracious and accepted it anyway. After all, they'd paid a lot of money to enroll him in one of the best universities in the country. The least he could do was be generous and take the car... used as it was. He'd even given them a forced smile as he took the keys.

Dad had also told him to make sure and use the map so he always knew where he was. But Cal had never been away from home before, and he'd given in to his long suppressed adventurous impulses. That day, he'd taken a side road off the highway and into the trees, then another, and another. After half a day of wandering, he had to admit he was lost. He was truly out in the boonies.

It had been hours since he'd seen any signs of civilization, and that was stretching the term. There had only been squalid little shacks way off in the scrubby farmland, no doubt packed to the rafters with unwashed country bumpkins and their cows. Cal couldn't imagine living like that. Just thinking of the smell made him shudder.

It was amusing to speed through the dirty backwoods, but he'd never planned to actually stop in the middle of all the grubbiness. His car had a different idea.

Cal never even thought about the gas gauge till the Rambler warned him far too late. He barely made it onto the side of the road before it gasped one last time and died. Now he was sitting in the weeds, being bitten by bugs, and sweating more than he ever had in his life. His clothes clung to him in the most repulsive way. His normally thick, tousled blond hair was a soggy mop on top of his head. He felt disgusting. A sniff at his armpit told him he probably smelled almost as bad as the people who lived out here in the wilderness. Almost.

Cal pulled his knees up to his chest, gave into his misery and cried. At that moment, he was glad to be alone so no one could see him squalling like a baby. It was shameful. He was eighteen years old. He was a college man at that. At least, we would be if he ever managed to get to the university, which was looking more unlikely by the minute.

He was so absorbed in his anguish, he didn't even notice when he was no longer alone. The first clue was the screech of rusty metal as a truck door opened. Cal looked up, startled. He stumbled to his feet, then swayed as a wave of dizziness hit him.

An old dusty red pickup truck was idling right in front of him. It had a camper shell over the bed. A large, muscled man was climbing out of the drivers side door. He looked like he was at least forty years old, over twice Cal's age. His heavy jowls were unshaven. Thick black hair stuck out randomly from beneath a ratty baseball cap. He wore a plaid flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up past the elbows of his thick, hairy arms. The top few buttons in front were undone, revealing a mass of curly chest hair.

Even in Cal's miserable condition, he felt a bitter twinge of envy. He'd been what Mom called a late bloomer. The only body hair he had was the bush between his legs and a little under each arm. He hadn't even been able to produce a beard yet. His face only sported the downy peach fuzz of a much younger adolescent. He'd been secretly praying he wasn't the only freshman at college who looked like he should still be in high school.

The man's faded denim jeans were so tight, Cal could see... quite uncomfortably... the outline of a long, thick penis down one leg. It looked to be at least six inches. That kind of display was obscene. Didn't this hick have any sense of decency? Probably not. This was the backwater of the world, after all. Propriety would be an alien concept.

Looking at that outline in the man's jeans, Cal felt another stab of jealousy. His own penis wasn't small, but it also wasn't nearly as large as he deserved. Why did some dirty redneck get to have such a huge example of manhood while Cal's was average at best?

A deep voice boomed out. "Eyes up here, kid."

Cal jumped, then burned with embarrassment when he realized he'd been staring.

The man smiled. "Yeah, it's a big one. I get a lot stares, just like the one you were giving me."

Cal stammered, "I... I wasn't staring." More emphatically, he repeated, "I wasn't. I don't look at things... dicks."

"Sure, kid. You been crying?"

Cal wiped at his face and said, "No. That's sweat. It's way too hot around here."

The man said, "Sweat don't make your shoulders shake while you're sobbing your little heart out. I've been sitting here for about five minutes watching you. Thought I'd let you cry it out, but you didn't show any signs of stopping."

Cal felt another flush of embarrassment, adding to his already overheated state. This hick had seen him crying. That was intolerable. He needed to be rescued, but he couldn't let that affront go by unaddressed.

He said haughtily, "Decent people don't intrude on the privacy of others, especially when they're in a vulnerable state."

The man held up his hands and said, "Sure, kid, sure. But... you do know you were sitting on the side of a public road? Not exactly all that private."

Who did this condescending hick think he was?

Cal said, "And you'll stop calling me kid. I'm eighteen years old. I'm a college man."

That provoked a huge laugh. Cal gritted his teeth. That was not the intended response.

"A college man. I'm impressed."

Cal said, "You should be."

The man said, "I'm also giving you a lot of leeway considering you're in distress. But don't push it. When I reach my limit, I can be mean. I might do something I'll regret. I know you'll regret it."

Cal took a step back, only just then realizing how vulnerable he really was. He was alone with this redneck. The man wasn't just muscular. He was at least a head taller than Cal's five feet seven inches. And he was obviously a product of the region... uncouth and uncivilized. He'd probably think nothing of beating Cal to a pulp.

Cal had another alarming thought. A thrashing might not be the only danger. Mom and Dad had warned him about strangers and what could happen to a young man so far from home. The subject had been too awkward for them to be more specific, but he'd had a general idea of what prompted their fears. He'd laughed at them. He wasn't a girl. He had no need to worry about something like that.

But glancing down at the outline of that large penis straining the man's jeans was enough to make him rethink his assumptions. This man might actually do something to him. Something obscene.

Cal knew his sudden rush of fear showed on his face. It was just another way he was constantly embarrassing himself in front of this man.

The redneck sighed and said, "Calm down, little guy. I ain't going to rough up a kid, not even an arrogant, spoiled little snot like you. However, I might just lay you across my lap and give you what's probably the first spanking you've ever had. And if I have to go that far, I'll just go all the way with it. I'll pull your pants and underwear down and take my hand to your bare butt."

Cal's breathing got labored. How was this happening?

He asked in a small voice, "You... you're kidding, right?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

The man didn't look like he was kidding at all. Cal had no doubt he'd follow through on his threat, outrageous as it was. This was completely unacceptable. Cal tried to imagine that scenario, but his mind refused to go there.

The brutish thug was correct about one thing. Cal had never been spanked before. He knew boys who were spanked when he was younger. He'd even witnessed a couple of spankings while visiting friends. He teased the weeping recipients afterwards mercilessly, secure in the knowledge that such a thing would never happen to him.

But now, long past the age when a spanking was even a possibility, he was facing the prospect of one. And from a total stranger.

Just to be completely sure of the stakes, he asked in a quavering voice, "On my bare bottom? Really? Can you do that?"

"Yes, on your bare bottom. And yes, I can do that. Very easily. But it doesn't have to come to that. You just need to show a little respect to the man who's trying to help you out." He held out his hand. "Name's Bobby. What's yours?"

Cal's nature couldn't be so easily overcome. The idea of showing respect to a country hick was ridiculous. He spoke without thinking. "Aren't you a few decades too old for a name like Bobby?"

He immediately clapped both hands over his mouth and stared at Bobby in wide-eyed horror.

The man regarded him with wonder. "Wow. Talk about your own worst enemy. Whatever else happens here, you just earned yourself a blistered butt. I warned you."

Cal cried, "No, wait. I'm sorry. You're right. I am spoiled. Mom and Dad could never say no to me. It's their fault I'm like this."

Bobby shook his head. "You have a real problem with accountability, kid. I'm going to see if I can fix that for you. That spanking just got a little bit worse for you."

Cal practically shrieked, "No. No no no. Just wait. I'm upset, that's all. I'm really really upset."

As if to prove it, he shamed himself by starting to cry again. He was horrified at this display of weakness, but he couldn't help it. He was completely unprepared for this kind of conflict.

Why hadn't Mom and Dad at least warned him of how hostile the world could be?

Actually... he was forced to admit... they had. Repeatedly. But they hadn't made sure he listened. Once again, he was having to pay for their failures.

In between sobs, he managed to say, "I'm just trying to get to college. And I wanted to see something of the country first. I know I should've stayed on the highway like Dad said, but I wanted to go exploring. Then I ended up breaking down in the stinking armpit of the world. And I'm hot and sweaty and miserable. I think I'm about to have a heat stroke. I'm just... I'm really really upset. So I ended up saying some stupid things, and I'm sorry."

He hated groveling. It made him feel pathetic. But the idea of being spanked at his age was intolerable. And on his bare bottom at that. He'd die of humiliation.

Instead of being appeased by Cal's tearful speech, Bobby looked even angrier.

He said, "I grew up in this stinking armpit, boy. So did my father and his father, too. We're all kind of fond of this armpit."

Cal had done it again. He tried to backtrack. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you or where you grew up. I mean, this is all you know, so of course you like it. You don't know any better."

Bobby looked at him with something close to awe. He asked, "How have you made it this far in life without someone kicking your ass up between your ears? You've obviously led a very sheltered existence. Now, I asked you your name. I expect an answer."

Cal wanted to say something like, "You can expect all you want." Instead, still sobbing, he said, "Calvin Hall... sir. I go by Cal."

He desperately hoped the sir would satisfy this bully enough to forego pulling his pants down for what would be the most humiliating experience of his life. More humiliating even than when Mom recently caught him naked and masterbating while using her expensive hand lotion. He'd thought nothing could be worse than that. This situation was shaping up to exceed it.

Bobby said, "Well, Calvin Hall. I take it your car isn't running."

Cal snapped, "Obviously," then let out another huge sob. "I'm sorry. I can't help it."

Bobby said, "Yeah. That's obvious, too. Did it break down or just run out of gas?"

Cal wiped away his tears and sheepishly admitted, "I ran out of gas. Dad said to watch the gauge, but..."

Bobby finished the sentence for him. "But, being a kid, you didn't listen."

"I'm not a kid. Stop calling me that."

Bobby let out a huge sigh. "Ok. I've had it. I was going to help you out for free, but you've pissed me off too many times. I've taken all the crap off you I'm going to. If you want my help, you're going to have to sweet talk me."

Cal was confused. Did the man want him to beg even more?

"How do I do that? What do I say?"

Bobby gave him a grin. It wasn't a pleasant one.

"You won't be saying anything. But you will be using your mouth."

Cal was even more confused. Then he wasn't.

"You're... you're kidding."

"Nope. I told you... I reach a point where I turn mean. As lenient as I've tried to be since you're so young, you just kept pushing and pushing. Now you've pushed me over that line. I won't kick your ass like you deserve. But I will spank it. After that, if you still want my help, you're going to have to earn it."

Cal's voice trembled as he said, "You are talking about what I think you are?"

"I'm talking about you sucking my cock, little guy. My old lady is going through the change of life. To be honest, it's making her kind of a bitch. I ain't getting much anymore. Makes a man horny. You picked the wrong guy to be a conceited prick to."

Cal glanced fearfully down at that ominous bulge. It lengthened just a bit as he stared.

He said, "I won't do it. You can't make me."

Bobby shrugged. "Your funeral. And I mean that literally. You're about a hundred miles from anywhere, little crybaby Cal. If you try walking out of here, the heat will kill you in a couple of hours. You're already sweating like a pig... more than any country boy would. And there's bears in these woods. Hiding in your car won't help you if a bear wants to eat your ass. He'll just peel the top off like opening a can of tuna fish. And if someone else comes along, which is doubtful, you may wish they hadn't. There's whole families of inbred hillbillies around here who'll have some creative uses for a sweet little thing like you. I take it you're a city boy?"

Cal drew himself up. "I'm from the suburbs."

Bobby laughed. "The suburbs. I'm impressed. But that's still the city to folks around here. And those hillbillies have a particular dislike for city boys. I can fully understand."

Cal said bitterly, "So they'll make me do what you want me to do."

"Nope. Not nearly. I'm kind of plain vanilla when it comes to things of a sexual nature. I just want a hole to drain my balls into. And I won't bury you in a back pasture when I'm through with you like they would. I'll go back to being a nice guy and take your sweaty ass to get some gas for your car." Bobby crossed his arms over his chest. "Your call, kid."

Cal couldn't believe he was even considering this. But there was the heat, and the bears, and the hillbillies.

Still crying, he asked, "If... if I do it... you promise you'll take me to get gas? You really promise? Really really? Cross your heart?"

Bobby made an elaborate show of crossing his heart.

He said, "Of course, the blowjobs are just to get you to the gas station. To bring you back, I get to use the other hole, too."

Cal asked, "The other hole?"

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Your butthole. I told you... we're a hundred miles out in the boonies. That's a long trip there and back."

Cal cried, "This gets worse and worse."

Bobby shrugged again. "Depends on which end of the sexual act you're on."

Cal recalled something. "Wait. You said blowjobs, as in plural."

"I ain't taking your butt all that way for one measly blowjob. Or all the way back for a single fuck. You're going to have to service me to my satisfaction. And that takes multiple of everything. I'm a horny guy. So what's it going to be?"

Still not believing what he'd been reduced to, Cal's shoulders slumped as he muttered, "Ok. I'll do it."

"What was that?"

Cal snapped, "I said I'll do it."

He angrily wiped away more tears.

Bobby innocently asked, "And what is it you'll do?"

Cal glared. He knew what the man was doing.

"I'll suck your dick."

"And?"

Cal stared down at the gravel road. "And I'll let you fuck me."

Bobby asked, "As many times as I want?"

Unable to look up and meet the man's eyes, Cal said, "As many times as you want."

Bobby held out his hand. "Sounds like a deal. Shake on it."

Cal tentatively took the man's big hand, afraid of having his fingers crushed. Bobby's handshake was firm, but not painful.

Bobby grinned. "You're just a bundle of anxieties, boy. Don't worry. I won't hurt you any more than necessary."

Cal looked up at him in alarm.

Bobby laughed. "You're too easy. Don't worry. The only pain I'm going to inflict is when I spank your bare butt. And that ain't a sexual thing. That's just teaching an impudent brat to show respect to other people. Wait here while I pull the truck over to the side."

When the discussion had turned to oral and anal sex, Cal had completely forgotten about his upcoming spanking. Bobby obviously had not. Cal wondered how he was ever going to be able to face anyone, anywhere, ever again. He was about to be degraded in every way possible. He was sure people would be able to see it in his face.

"Strip."

Cal jumped. He hadn't noticed that Bobby was back and standing right in front of him.

The man said, "I told you to strip. Naked. From now on, you do everything I say, when I say it. Your ass belongs to me."

Cal hung his head. He said pitifully, "I've agreed to let you use me. You don't have to be so mean to me about it."

"I told you before. When I reach a certain point, I get mean. You brought this one yourself. Now get undressed, Cal."

Cal looked up and down the road. "Outside? In the open?"

"You've got three seconds to start taking your clothes off. After that, I take them off you. I can't guarantee they'll be wearable again when I'm through doing it. In fact, I might get carried away and rip them into shreds. Then I'll get any clothes you have in your car and do the same thing."

Cal quickly said, "Ok, ok. You're being really hostile, you know that?"

 

He began peeling out of his sweaty clothes and dropping each item into the weeds at his feet.

When he was down to his white briefs, which were so drenched in sweat they were practically transparent, Bobby commented, "You wear the same brand as me. At least, when I wear any. I'm not at the moment. But I guess you know that from the way you were staring."

Cal grimaced. Not wearing underwear was nasty.

He hooked his thumbs into the waistband, but couldn't go any further. He tried, but hit a mental block. It wasn't just that he was being forced to strip, although that was humiliating enough. He'd never been naked outside before. Even if no one else was around for miles and miles, just the idea of it made him uncomfortable. He already felt horribly exposed in his underwear, and the main parts were still covered, if somewhat inadequately.

Bobby commanded, "Take your panties off, Cal."

Cal snapped, "I don't wear panties. I'm not a girl."

Bobby stated, "You're about to be my girl. Tell me that."

"What? Tell you what?"

Bobby said very slowly, "That you're going to be my girl."

Cal stared at the man in disbelief. "You're kidding."

"You keep saying that. And I keep telling you that I'm not. Now say it."

Cal clenched his fists with impotent anger, breathing heavily. It wasn't enough this man was going to make him perform sexual acts. He was determined to humiliate Cal in every way.

Bobby said, "Cal? What did I tell you to do?"

Cal gave in and said, "I'm going to be your girl."

"There. Was that so hard? Are you going to be my pretty girl?"

"I'll be your pretty girl. Please don't make me say anything else like that. I'm doing what you want. Please stop being mean to me about it."

Then he let out another sob. This confrontation was so far beyond anything he'd ever experienced that he was in a state of emotional overload.

Bobby said, "Damn, Cal. You're the biggest crybaby I've ever seen."

He stepped forward suddenly and pulled Cal's underwear down to his ankles. Cal yelped in surprise.

"Step out of them."

Cal instantly obeyed. When Bobby stripped away that last piece of clothing, he'd taken the last of Cal's willpower with it. As much as Cal hated to admit it, he was now Bobby's to do with as he pleased. He was powerless. He hoped the man would only do what they'd agreed upon, and not add anything even more lewd into the deal.

This feeling was something new and unpleasant. Cal had always been able to easily manipulate his parents and teachers. And now, the first time someone had been fully in control of him, it was a savage redneck with sexual subjugation on his mind. Was this the universe's way of balancing the scales?

Bobby said, "Don't cover up. I want to see what kind of man the suburbs breed."

Cal kept his hands at his sides. He'd never felt this naked. He tried to tell himself this was no different than having to be bare in the locker room and showers at school. In fact, in that circumstance, he was naked in front of twenty or so other boys. The difference was they were all in the same state of undress. And he wasn't being coerced into nakedness. And, of course, at school he didn't have to perform sexual favors while naked in exchange for roadside assistance.

Bobby looked him over critically. "Hmmm. You're as skinny as I expected. I suppose you'd prefer the term slim or slender. And you ain't got a lot between your legs. How long is it when it's hard?"

That question was entirely too personal. Cal uncomfortably shuffled his feet and said, "I don't know."

"Bullshit. Every guy measures himself."

Call remained silent for a long moment as he involuntarily glanced at the outline of Bobby's much larger penis. He finally sighed and said, "Five and a half inches. Ok? Are you happy?"

Bobby grinned. "Sure am. Because I got almost eleven. Has that little thing of yours seen the inside of a woman?"

"You mean... have I done it?"

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Done it? The word is fucked. Have you ever fucked a woman?"

Cal squirmed where he stood. He wanted to say yes, but was afraid Bobby would be able to detect a lie.

As quietly as he could manage, he muttered, "No."

Bobby held a hand to his ear. "What was that?"

Cal looked at his feet and said louder, "No. I haven't... fucked yet."

"So, you're a little virgin boy."

Still staring down, Cal nodded.

"Then say it. Tell me you're a little virgin boy."

Cal looked up and said, "Come on. Please."

"Do what I say, Cal."

Cal said, "Fine. I'm a little virgin boy."

Bobby grinned. "I could tell that the second I saw you. I told myself that weepy little guy is as virgin as they come. Probably always will be. Now turn around and let's see your ass. I want to know what I'm going to be sticking my cock inside."

As Cal turned, he said, "Ummm. About that. I don't think I can take a dick as big as yours. Can I just suck it twice instead? Or three times?"

"You're going to be doing that anyway. But don't worry. I've fucked my fair share of young hitchhikers, but I never split any of them open. I know my size, so I always used lots of lube."

While Bobby examined Cal's bare backside, he abruptly changed subjects and asked, "What's it feel like to have a country hick who's so far below you on the social scale make you strip bare ass naked and stand there to be examined like a hunk of livestock?"

Cal's voice quavered as he said, "It feels horrible. I hate this. I hate it."

"Good. It might teach you some humility. Now get that sweaty butt of yours over to the passenger side of the truck."

Cal waited while Bobby opened the truck door and climbed in. He kept glancing nervously up and down the road. He didn't know if he was afraid someone would come along and see him naked, or if he was hoping that would happen. Maybe the new arrival would rescue him from the appalling situation he'd found himself in.

"Lay across my lap, Cal. Time to instill some discipline by spanking your insolent young ass."

Cal whined, "Oh, man. I can't believe this is happening."

Bobby assured him, "You'll be convinced the first time my hand hits your bottom."

Cal awkwardly climbed over Bobby's lap and lay face down. His cheek was pressed against the worn upholstery and his bare legs stuck out the door. He felt the lump of the man's penis beneath him.

He squealed when Bobby's big hands spread his butt cheeks apart.

Bobby said, "Calm down. I'm ain't going in yet. Just making sure you don't have an abnormally tiny butthole to go with that little pecker."

Cal gritted his teeth and said, "My butthole is fine. And my peck... my dick... isn't small. It's average in length. Dad told me so."

"Well, he would, wouldn't he? Your hole looks normal. I should know. I've seen a lot of them. I always check them out first. When I told you I'd fucked my fair share of hitchhikers, I wasn't being entirely truthful. I actually fucked a lot more than that. I used to drive a big rig cross country. I'd pick up young guys like you every day. I fucked practically every one of them. I prefer the holes I stick my cock in to be female, but I'd never take advantage of a woman out alone on the road. Only a low down coward would do that. Besides, fucking a woman would be cheating on my wife. So I always used guys. Preferably cute little baby-faced ones like you so I could pretend they're girls."

Bobby still had Cal's buttocks spread wide open. Cal was intensely aware the most personal area of his entire body was still plainly visible. He was strangely glad his wasn't the only hole this man had seen. He figured humiliation was like misery... it loves company.

Bobby continued. "Some of them were willing. Some... well, not so much. Didn't make a difference to me back then. I'd hold 'em down and fuck 'em hard. That was in my younger days, though. I've grown as a human being."

Cal said, "Yet you're still going to do it to me. And make me suck it, too."

"I ain't making you do a thing, Cal. You've got a choice."

"Some choice. Suck your dick and take it up the ass, or get eaten by bears or raped and killed by hillbillies."

"Still a choice. And you're making the choice only a pussy would make. As I knew you would. In fact, only a pussy would let another man see him where I'm looking right now... right at his pussy hole."

Cal said indignantly, "It's a butthole, not a... a pussy hole."

"Yours is a pussy hole, because that's how I'm going to be using it. But first, my cock will be going in your mouth, and even before that, this'll happen..."

Bobby released Cal's buttocks, letting them close and hide his pussy hole. Then he delivered the first smack of the promised spanking. His big hand almost covered Cal's entire bottom.

Even though Cal knew he was about to receive a spanking, he squealed as that smack took him by surprise. It didn't, however, hurt all that much. That gave him hope the spanking would be only humiliating, not painful. The smacks that followed were probably no harder, but the accumulated effect was excruciating. It seemed to go on forever. Cal cried and wailed. He writhed and tried pushing himself up from the seat. Bobby easily held him down with one hand while he continued. He actually whistled a little tune while he spanked Cal's increasingly reddened bottom cheeks.

When it was over, he allowed Cal to bury his face in the truck's seat and finish crying. It took a while.

When the sobs tapered off, Bobby said, "I went easy on you since you're just a spoiled kid who's never had any proper discipline. You were right about one thing earlier. A lot of the responsibility for your attitude falls on your parents. They were obviously way too lenient with you. One day you'll smart off to someone meaner than me. Then your cute little face will get rearranged. Or worse. Maybe the spanking I just gave you will make you reconsider being such an obnoxious twat."

Cal turned his tear-stained face up to Bobby. "Easy? You call that easy?"

"Believe me, it was. But you're not listening, are you?" Tossing a stained rag onto the seat beside Cal's face, he said, "Now get up and blow your nose. You're getting snot all over my upholstery."

Cal pushed himself up, then paused. "You want me to get out of the truck?"

"No, I want you down on the floorboard between my legs. As soon as you wipe the snot off your upper lip, you're going to start sucking my cock."

As Cal clumsily got up from Bobby's lap and clamored down down into the space in front of the truck seat, Bobby casually said, "You've told me you're a man... a college man at that. So tell me, what kind of man lays across another guy's lap and lets him spank his ass? I'm just curious."

Cal, now kneeling on the floor of the truck, glumly said, "Not much of a man at all."

Bobby nodded and said, "That's what I thought. Only a little bitch boy would submit to something like that. So, little bitch boy, clean the snot off your face so you can do your next bitch boy duty."

Cal glared at Bobby hatefully, then blew his nose and wiped his face.

Looking at the rag in disgust, he said, "You must've blown your nose on this a million times. It's crusty as hell."

Bobby laughed and said, "That ain't snot, kid. I told you, I'm a horny guy. I don't fuck hitchhikers when I'm out on the road anymore, so I have to settle for pulling over and jerking off when the need hits me. You're the first guy I've had in years. And speaking of which, I haven't actually had you yet. So hurry it up."

Cal was still staring in horror at the nasty, semen encrusted rag he'd just used on his face.

Bobby said impatiently, "Forget about the dried cum. You're about to have a whole mouthful of the stuff, hot and fresh from my balls. And I do mean a mouthful. These balls hold about a pint."

Cal tossed the rag aside and watched with dread as Bobby unzipped his jeans and wrestled his huge penis out of his pants. It was already half hard. His wasn't circumcised like Cal's, so the head slowly exposed itself as the foreskin pulled back.

Cal was as fascinated as he was terrified. He'd never seen an erect penis besides his own before. And only a few boys in his gym class were uncircumcised. All he ever saw of them was their fleshy tube, sometimes with a widening towards the end. He always smugly considered his, with its clearly defined head, to be superior. Now he saw they were much the same as him, just with that additional sheath of skin. They actually had more to their penises than he did.

Making him feel even more inadequate, the first erection besides his own just had to be one that was over twice his own size. It was like a massive sausage compared to his hot dog wiener. He didn't even know if he'd be able to get it in his mouth.

He'd heard some boys at school occasionally sucked each other out of pure horniness. There had even been one boy, Dustin, who was rumored to actually like it. He was treated with scorn, even by the ones who did the deed themselves... sometimes even with Dustin. But none of them had been forced into taking another's penis into his mouth. It had all been by choice. And despite what Bobby said, Cal was being forced into this.

"Take my cock, Cal. I want to feel those cute little lips around it. Don't make me wait."

Cal reached out and tentatively took the man's hardened penis in his hand, pulling it down towards his face. It was almost hot to the touch after being cooped up inside Bobby's jeans. He leaned in and opened his mouth, but that was as far as he could go. He knelt there holding it, then looked up at Bobby with misery in his eyes.

He whimpered, "I can't. I can't make myself do it. It's too humiliating. I'm not trying to be stubborn. I... I just..."

Bobby said, "Relax. Don't start bawling again."

He took Cal's head between his hands and pulled it forward till his pee hole was pressed against Cal's lips.

"You have to actually open your mouth, Cal."

Cal opened and Bobby pulled him all the way in. The thick shaft slid into his mouth. He reacted to the intrusion instinctively, trying to wrench himself away. But Bobby held his head firmly.

"Stop fighting me, Cal. I'll take time out for another spanking."

Cal's bottom was still sore. He stopped struggling. He realized then that he had only a vague idea of what sucking a dick involved. Did he actually suck? It was also called a blowjob, but he wasn't supposed to blow. Was he?

His only experience with making a penis feel good was dealing with his own when he masterbated. He had a lot of experience with that. Too much, according to Mom and Dad. He decided to mimic his movements when he jerked off, just using his mouth instead of his hand. He tightened his lips around the shaft, then slid his head forward as much as he could, then pulled back all the way to the ridge of Bobby's penis head. When Bobby didn't complain, he repeated the maneuver.

He couldn't believe what he was doing. Earlier that day, he'd been his own man, traveling the roads as free as could be. Now he was being forced to suck another man's cock. This was so degrading, Cal was sure he'd never recover from it.

He heard Bobby's voice above him. "That's good for a starter, but use your tongue to get it all nice and slobbery. And hold it with both hands. I like it that way."

Cal did as he was told. Over the next ten minutes, Bobby supplied more instructions. He kept his hands around Cal's head, his fingers running through his damp hair in an almost loving gesture. Cal thought that was way to personal. But then, he had Bobby's penis in his mouth. It didn't get much more personal than that.

Bobby moaned and sighed with pleasure the whole time. Apparently, Cal was performing his first blowjob in a satisfactory manner. He didn't know if that was something he should feel proud of.

When the moment was at hand, Bobby's hands tightened into a vise grip.

"Get ready, boy."

Bobby began thrusting, then produced a flood of thick fluid into Cal's mouth. Cal sputtered and gagged. He tried to swallow as much as he could, but it still ran out over his chin and down his cheeks.

"Keep sucking, Cal," Bobby ordered in a strained voice.

Cal sucked, amazed when a second wave of semen filled his mouth.

After Bobby finished releasing his load, he continued to hold Cal's head in place. Cal felt the huge penis begin to soften and deflate inside his mouth.

Bobby said, "Suck on it some more. It'll be even more sensitive now."

As Cal began sucking again, Bobby groaned and twisted on the seat. Cal could feel the thick penis leak down the back of his tongue. There was more of the man's fluid coating the inside of his mouth and pooling at the bottom. Cal wished he'd packed some mouthwash in his luggage.

Finally, Bobby let Cal slump down on the floorboards. Cal was too ashamed to look up at him.

Bobby reached down and ruffled Cal's hair and said, "Good boy. Now take the rag and clean your face. You are one sloppy little slut."

Cal did look up this time. He said, "I'm not a slut."

"You just sucked a total stranger's cock on the side of the road. And you're about to let him fuck you in your sweaty ass. You're a slut, all right. A cute one, but still a slut."

Cal bristled at being called cute. The girls at school had always said he was cute. Obnoxious, but cute. They'd gone further and said he was too cute. Like a little boy. He wasn't someone they could take seriously as a boyfriend. So, while most of his friends had girlfriends and many sexual experiences by the time they'd all graduated, Cal's only sexual partner had been his right hand. He'd had sex with it often, but it was a poor substitute for an actual girl.

Now he'd finally had a sexual encounter, but it was with a man. And Cal wasn't the one putting his penis inside someone else. It was the other way around. He wiped at his face angrily with the nasty rag.

And he could still taste Bobby's semen. Cal had tasted his own once out of curiosity. He didn't like the flavor. Now he'd had a mouthful of someone else's. This was a day of firsts, and none of them were good.

Bobby took Cal's chin in hand and turned his head from side to side.

"There. Now you're all clean and pretty again."

Cal tried to jerk his head away, but Bobby squeezed harder, making him yelp.

"You haven't gotten this respect thing down yet, kid. But I understand. You're new to it. But still, you need to be careful. Back in the day, I wasn't very nice to some of those hitchhikers when they'd piss me off. Sometimes I'd make them suck me after I fucked them in the ass. Think about that. Not saying I'd do that to you, but it's best to keep it in mind."

Cal turned pale and said, "No. No, please. I'll be good. I will. I promise I will."

Bobby released his chin, then patted him on the cheek.

"I'm sure you will. And it looks like you enjoyed the blowjob almost as much as I did."

Cal didn't know what the man meant till he followed Bobby's eyes down to his own naked crotch. His penis was staring back up at him. He'd never even realized he'd become erect.

He cried, "Oh my God. I don't know why it's like that. I didn't enjoy it. I didn't. I didn't. I swear."

Bobby said, "Relax. Guys your age are flexible. Just wait till you get to college. However, I think you exaggerated your length. That looks like five and a quarter inches at the most. I've got a tape measure in the back. We'll find out for sure later. For now, let's get out of this hotbox. I'm sweating as much as you are."

 

They were both jammed in so tightly in the confined space, Bobby had to grasp Cal under his sweaty armpits and practically lift him out of the vehicle. Bobby followed, his penis still hanging out of his zipper, swinging heavily. It glistened in the sun with a coating of Cal's saliva.

Now that he so was inexplicably hard, Cal was more uncomfortable than before being naked outdoors. He looked all around again to make sure they were alone.

Bobby laughed. "If you're self-conscious now, the next part is really going to be awkward."

He dropped the tailgate down and raised the camper door above it. The interior of the truck bed was a clutter of tools and beer cans and even a filthy old mattress. Bobby came prepared.

Cal said, "I thought you didn't fuck anyone out on the road anymore."

Bobby said, "I don't. However, I do like to get away and go camping occasionally. You're the first guy who's going to be face down on that mattress with your ass in the air. I have to say, I'm looking forward to this. It'll be like old times, but better. Pumping cum into that smartass mouth of yours was particularly satisfying. Plugging your butt is going to be even better."

Cal stared at the mattress. The sight made his next degradation all too real.

Bobby said, "But first, since you're so embarrassed to be naked outdoors, I'm going to fuck you out here. Don't worry, though. I always have about four orgasms in me at any given time. We'll get to the mattress for a more traditional fuck. Now, bend over the tailgate. I'm going to lube your hole up so I slide in easy. I've never tried to physically harm the asses of any of the guys I've fucked. I only enjoy inflicting emotional damage."

He gave Cal an exaggerated feral grin after he said it.

Cal rubbed his sore buttocks and said, "You sure hurt my ass."

"That's different. That was just pain as a form of guidance for a wayward young man. And I didn't even leave a bruise, so stop whining about it. Now, bend your bare ass over the tailgate."

Cal complied. The metal had been out of the direct sunlight, so it was warm, but not hot. Cal felt a breeze against his balls and butt crack. If someone came along the road from behind him, those parts of his bare body would be the first they saw.

Bobby reached into the camper and pulled out an opened can of motor oil. Looking over his shoulder, Cal watched as the man held his penis and dribbled oil up and down its length. Bobby set the can down and rubbed the oil in, hardening as he did it. By the time it was thoroughly slathered, the huge shaft was fully hard again.

Cal was amazed. When he masterbated at home, it took him at least fifteen minutes before he could achieve another erection. Then he always ejaculated a lot quicker the second time around. He hoped Bobby was like him in that way at least.

Bobby said, "I'm going to grease up your hole now. Ever had a finger up your butt?"

Cal indignantly said, "No." Then he followed up with, "Well..."

"Well, what?"

"Well... Mom sometimes had to put suppositories up in me when I got sick. But that was when I was a kid. I was a lot younger."

Bobby laughed. "When was the last time."

Cal grimaced and said, "A couple of months ago."

Bobby laughed harder. "And you're college age? And your mommy still shoves suppositories up your butt? Does she still change your diapers, too? If you ever call yourself a man to me again, I'll spank you twice as hard and twice as long."

Cal cried, "I don't wear diapers. And it's not like I wanted her to do that. I told her over and over that I could do it myself. I told her I was too old for her to see me naked. Especially to see me there. She wouldn't listen. She said..." He stopped talking, but far too late.

Bobby demanded, "She said what?"

Cal made a little frustrated sound. He was revealing way too much to this man. But he was afraid to lie. If Bobby somehow knew he was lying, he'd probably spank him again.

"She said she'd just seen me naked, including there, only a week before. When... when she barged in... not for the first time... and caught me jerking off."

Bobby's voice held genuine curiosity. "How'd she see your butthole while you were doing that?"

"I was on my hands and knees on the bed, looking down at a Playboy magazine while I jerked myself onto a towel. My bedroom door faces the foot of the bed. Get it?"

Bobby laughed so hard, he had to clutch at his belly. When he could speak, he gasped out, "Maybe I was wrong about you, Cal. I figured you had an easy life. Sounds like you had it tough. At least in some ways. Now get ready. My finger's going in."

Cal groaned with humiliation as he felt Bobby's finger at his hole. He groaned even more at the sensation of it spreading him open and sliding inside. Bobby's finger was over twice as thick as Mom's.

The physical feeling was intense. Cal pushed himself up off the tailgate, but Bobby placed his other hand on his back and forced him back down. Bobby went all the way in to his last knuckle, then started making circular motions, widening Cal's opening. Cal squirmed.

Bobby said, "You like that, huh?"

Cal, more humiliated than ever before, cried out, "No, I don't, you fucking redneck piece of shit."

Bobby stopped his movements, but left his finger inside. With his other hand he grabbed Cal's ballsack and gripped just hard enough to make him yelp.

In a cold voice Cal hadn't heard before, Bobby said, "I could forget about spankings and just squeeze till they pop."

Cal screamed, "No. No no no. Please. I'm sorry. I'm so so so very very sorry. I don't know why I said that. I don't. I really really don't. I'm sorry. Please don't hurt my balls. Please, sir. Please."

After a long pause, Bobby's voice changed back to it's usual mocking tone. "I know why you said it. I guess it's fitting I've got a handful of your sweaty balls because you actually showed some balls for the first time. That wasn't you being your usual haughty, conceited self. That was ballsy, Congratulations."

He rolled Cal's testicles around in his hand. "Not too tiny either. I'm surprised. Of course, you're still going to have to lick the ball sweat off my hand."

He released Cal's scrotum and held the hand out. Cal, so thankful his balls were still intact, began licking. Bobby resumed working his hole.

"Suck the fingers, too. One by one. And the thumb. You probably still suck your own thumb, right?"

Cal paused long enough to say, "No."

"Gave it up a week ago?" Bobby laughed again. Cal hated that laugh.

After a final, even wider, circular movement that made Cal groan, Bobby withdrew his finger.

He announced, "Now that I know what the entirety of your ass feels like from the inside, I think it's time for a damn good fucking. Don't you?"

Cal knew what was expected of him. He muttered, "Yes."

Bobby said, "What was that? Did you just say Yes, please fuck me, Bobby. Fuck me hard?"

Cal pressed his forehead to the tailgate and said, "Yes, please fuck me, Bobby. Fuck me hard."

"I thought that's what you said, you little slut. Don't mind if I do."

Cal pitifully whined, "I wish you'd stop calling me a slut. This is already so humiliating. And I'm doing everything you tell me to do. Please stop being so mean to me."

Bobby said, "Better get used to it. It's a mean world. Begging it not to be just doesn't work."

Cal felt the head of Bobby's penis push into his butt crack. Bobby moved it around till he found his entrance.

"Push out when I push in. It'll slide in easy that way. Easier, at least."

Cal groaned as he felt his hole spread open again, wider this time. He pushed, like Bobby had said. The head made it through, then the rest of the shaft followed. It was so thick. And slick. Bobby was ready when Cal tried to push himself up again.

"Easy, boy. That's just the beginning. I'm going to start fucking now."

He started moving forwards and back, slowly at first so Cal could get used to it. Cal moaned. He looked back over his shoulder with desperate eyes.

He said, "It feels... it's so... I can't... I... I..."

Bobby grinned at him and ruffled his hair. He said, "You're doing fine. I'm going to pick up the pace."

He placed his hands on either side of Cal's bottom and started pumping faster and harder. Cal had never felt anything like this in his life. The word intense didn't begin to describe it. He moaned and gasped and cried. He made sounds he hadn't known he was capable of.

Even beyond the physical feeling was the knowledge that he was being fucked. This man was fucking him. For the rest of his life, he'd always know he'd been fucked in the ass. And he'd remember how he'd voluntarily bent over to take it. Sure, the alternative... bears and hillbillies... was even more unthinkable. But still, he'd let this man do this to him.

It went on forever. Cal was truly afraid it would never stop. This was his punishment for being such an arrogant, obnoxious brat his entire life.

If he'd known how it felt to be fucked, he might've taken his chances with the other options. He might've even offered himself up to the nearest bear. But he'd submitted, and he was now being fucked. And it felt... it was so...

Part of him was astounded when he had to admit to himself that the purely physical sensation, if it was separated from the fact that he was being fucked by a man, felt really really good. The pleasure was so incredibly intense it almost became pain. Almost.

He knew some boys from school had gone further than blowjobs. He'd overheard two of them discussing a coupling the night before from the other side of the lockers one day. Thinking they were alone, they were giggling at what they'd done, and how they were probably going to do it again. Cal had been disgusted at the idea.

But now, if what he was receiving had been entirely voluntary, he could imagine fully enjoying it. Did that make him flexible, as Bobby had said earlier? Did it make him gay?

No, not gay. He definitely enjoyed masterbating to very heterosexual fantasies. But now he wondered if girls were his only desire. He didn't know. The coercive aspect of this encounter muddied the waters.

If this had been his own idea, if he'd voluntarily submitted to this with no hint of intimation, he would've been in heaven... a really lewd, raunchy form of heaven. But the fact that this feeling had been almost forced upon him twisted the act into an even worse violation that if he hated every aspect of it.

Another sensation struck him. It was as sudden as it was unexpected. He felt the unmistakable onset of an orgasm. He knew he only had a second before it struck. This couldn't be happening. He wasn't even touching himself. His erection had rubbed against the underside of the tailgate a few times, but that wasn't enough to bring him to a climax.

He didn't have time to wonder. The most powerful ejaculation ever began spurting his semen beneath the tailgate into the weeds below. He howled and involuntarily began making humping motions. He hoped Bobby's thrusting movements hid his own.

No such luck.

Bobby cried out, "Yeah. I knew you'd love it."

Bobby's jackhammer action became so hard and fast, Cal... who was still in the grips of his orgasm... thought he was going to lose his mind. Bobby's big hands slid up and down his slick sides.

When the last of Cal's semen squirted out of him, all his energy went with it. He lay on moaning the tailgate, sweaty and exhausted, while Bobby continued to fuck him so hard, the truck was rocking back and forth.

When Bobby's own time was near, he draped himself over Cal's body and kept thrusting from that position. His whiskers tickled Cal's cheeks. His grunting breaths were right in Cal's ear.

Cal knew Bobby was releasing into his bottom when the man started growling like a bear and pounding him even harder than ever before. Then it was over.

Bobby lay without speaking for long while. His only movement was the heaving of his chest as he panted. Cal lay beneath him, silently crying.

That had been awful. It had also been...

The voice in his ear said, "Don't even try to tell me that wasn't good."

"It wasn't," Cal said. "It was just... intense. I couldn't help it when I... when I..."

"Came?" Bobby suggested. "Squirted cum everywhere? Howled like a dog at how good it felt? Admit it, Cal. You just discovered you like a man's cock up your ass."

"I don't," Cal cried. "I... I don't know... I'm so confused."

Bobby cooed, "It's ok. I've fucked boys of your persuasion before. I don't care what you like. I care what I like, and that's fucking."

"I don't have a persuasion. Not... that persuasion. I don't."

Bobby wiggled his hips. His penis, still hard and still inside Cal, moved with him. Cal moaned and scratched at the tailgate with his fingernails.

Bobby said, "Yeah. Keep telling yourself that."

"You're not going to do it again, are you? I mean, fuck me?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm going to do it again for sure. But first..."

He stood up and pulled himself out of Cal. "We're going to get in the back of the truck. I want to get naked, too, and I'm not about to be bare assed outside like you are. I have some self-respect and dignity. Get in the camper for me like a good boy."

As Cal climbed up onto the tailgate, he heard Bobby say, "Whoa. You got your sweaty ass right in my face. If you're trying to show me your butthole, I already saw it earlier, you little trollop."

Cal said, "I wasn't. You told me to do this. I don't even know what a trollop is."

Cal felt a smack on his bottom. "Hurry it up. You can get on the mattress."

When Cal settled down Bobby climbed in and pulled the tailgate and camper door closed. He started removing his clothes.

Cal looked away and said, "It's going to be like a steam bath in here with it all closed up."

Bobby said, "That's the idea. We're going to sweat like crazy. More than you already are. You told me you wanted to go exploring today. Well, now's your chance. Your going to explore my entire body. With your tongue. Every nook and cranny."

Cal started to say, "You're kidding," but he knew Bobby wasn't. Instead he tried his next tactic, even though it that hadn't worked either so far. He begged. "Oh, no. Oh, please. Please, sir. Don't make me do that. It's gross. Super gross. I mean, do people really do that?"

"People do. It's called an around the world. Some of them love doing it. I'm hoping you don't. It's more fun that way. And your little dingus is dribbling on my mattress."

Cal looked down to see he was oozing.

"What do I do? The rag is up front."

Bobby pulled his underpants off. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure it won't be the last bodily fluid this mattress soaks up today."

Bobby was finally fully naked. Cal tried not to look, but couldn't help himself. The man was hairy. Head to toe. Cal had never seen so much body hair on a man. And, according to Bobby, he was going to have to run his tongue through that jungle.

He whimpered again, "Please don't make me do this, sir. Please. I've been good, haven't I?" He swallowed the last of his pride and added, "I've been a good boy."

Bobby ruffled his hair again and said, "You've been a very good boy. But you were a very bad boy before that. And bad boys get punished."

Bobby lay back on the mattress and put his hands behind his head, exposing the heavy growth of hair under his arms. "You can climb on top and straddle me. Start with the armpits."

The next couple of long, sweaty hours were a misery of humiliation. Cal got acquainted with every inch of Bobby's body. The man made him pay particular attention to certain areas. Like those armpits. And his nipples.

"You act like you never sucked a nipple before, boy. Didn't your momma nurse you?"

Cal said with all the dignity he could muster... which wasn't much... "I was a formula baby."

"That explains a lot."

Cal was terrified Bobby would make him suck his penis again, but the man took pity on him. He still made him spend ten minutes licking the areas next to his balls where his legs connected to his torso. Then there were the balls themselves. Cal had to spend at least twenty minutes slathering them with his tongue. They were unbelievably hairy. Cal adjusted his wish for hairy balls himself. There was such as thing as too much. He even had to get his head under Bobby's balls to work on the area immediately behind them. Bobby called it his taint. Cal had never heard the word before.

When Cal finished with Bobby's toes... his freaking toes... sucking each one individually, he thought his tour was finally over. But Bobby had saved the absolute worst for last. The locale was so outrageous, Cal hadn't even considered it when Bobby said his entire body. There was just no way it could've been a possibility.

Cal was backed up against the tailgate, looking like a caged animal. His eyes were wide with fear and horror.

Bobby patiently explained, "It's called rimming, Cal. I'm going to get on my hands and knees, and you're going to bury your face between my butt cheeks. You're going to kiss it and lick it. With passion. And every second you sit there stalling, I'll add a minute to your mad love affair with my asshole."

Cal cried, "I can't. I just can't. That's nasty. I can't do it. Don't make me do that. Please."

Bobby said, "Wow. That's ten extra minutes right there."

Cal cried and begged. He even got down and sucked a few more toes, but nothing swayed Bobby's demand. All he did was add over an hour to his ordeal. Bobby finally had to pull him over his lap again and give him a worse spanking than before.

When Bobby let him up, he said, "Just wipe your nose on the mattress and get to work, Cal. You've really pissed me off now. Wait another second, and I'm going to drive off and leave your naked ass on the road. I'll take everything out of your car, too. I won't leave you with anything. The hillbillies will have a nice preview of your skinny little body before they use it. And believe me, what they'll do is a lot worse than what I'm telling you to do. At least I bathe. So what's it going to be?"

Still sobbing, Cal said, "Yes, sir. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do whatever you say."

Bobby was generous and didn't count the time it took to spank Cal's bottom against him. Even so, Cal had to work on the man's hole and run his tongue up and down his hairy butt crack for over an hour. Bobby moaned and twisted the whole time. Cal had the impression it was his humiliation as much as his tongue that Bobby found so pleasurable.

When it was over, Bobby lay back and fell into an instant sleep. Cal sat at the foot of the mattress and glared at him. It was so hot inside the camper, he thought he might pass out, but Bobby hadn't given him permission to get out.

He finally curled up by Bobby's feet and went to sleep himself.

-----

An hour later he was staring out the passenger window of the truck as Bobby drove and whistled a tuneless song. They'd been on the road for about five minutes.

Cal asked for the tenth time, "You are going to bring me back to my car, right? You're not just going to leave me at the gas station."

Bobby stopped whistling. "Jesus Christ, kid. I told you I would. Do you pester your parents like this?"

Cal said, "It's just... I did a lot of awful stuff so you'd take me there and back."

"Don't worry about it. Tell me, what university are you going to?"

Cal said with a trace of his earlier arrogance, "Sanderfield."

 

Bobby nodded. "I've heard of it. Expensive place. Mommy and Daddy must love you for some reason."

Cal said, "How would you have heard of it?"

He slapped his hands over his mouth, but Bobby just laughed.

"You just can't help yourself. But don't get all upset and start weeping. I'm happy and satisfied for now. I just find you amusing, not irritating."

Cal was about to tell him he wasn't about to cry when he saw something ahead.

"Is that... is that the highway?"

Bobby said, "Sure is. That's the one that takes you all the way to your fancy school."

"But... but, you said it was about a hundred miles away."

Bobby shrugged. "I lied."

"Fuck."

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