The Available Mom Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Mmmm," I moaned into Tristan's mouth. I lay on my stomach, Tristan lay on top of me from behind, his pelvis pressed to my ass and the tip of his cock pressed into my pussy. My head was turned as I kissed my son deeply. Our mouths sucked at one another and moved in a passionate synchronous dance of tongue, lips and breath. Tristan loved to kiss and I was happy to oblige. His body was firmly planted on mine from behind, connected via his cock and our mouths. Our bodies slapped as he thrust in an occasional rhythm. The feeling of his cock in me, his balls slapping me and his pelvis pressed against my ass was warm and intimate.

After falling asleep on the couch watching TV, I awoke with my head in his lap. I threw on my shorts and tank top and went to bed in my room. A few hours later, he came into my room to sleep next to me, but soon we were kissing and now we were having sex again. In some ways we were like new lovers, discovering one another and at the same time, I had known him all his life, we were simply making up lost time. My sexual motor no longer idled down and I found that not only was I always in the mood, I was always in the mood for one of my sons.

We broke off our kiss and I moved onto all fours. Tristan knelt behind me, clutched my hips and started to fuck me from behind. We had no trouble finding rhythm and I closed my eyes and focused on the sensation of my son taking me from behind. I could feel his hands clutching the skin of my ass, pulling me open and presenting me to himself. I could sense his hungry eyes fixated on my two most intimate holes and I felt so sexy and beautiful. This is what it meant to be a mom--to be available and needed by my sons.

I clutched my pillow and put my face down, moving my ass up in a relaxed lazy dog pose. Tristan shifted his weight and his grip on me.

"You are so beautiful like this, Mom," he whispered. He pulled his wet erection out of me and ran his fingers over the skin of my ass and lower back. He kissed my back, between my shoulders and said, "I have seen you in poses like this for a long time. I used to watch you."

I smiled at the thought of it. Good. Subconsciously, I think I always knew, but now that Tristan and Alex had both said similar things to me, I knew the real reason I had been working so hard to stay in shape. It wasn't just for Mike, but for all of my boys. This new stage of parenting and being a mom is what I had been preparing for. As much as I told myself that they needed me (which was true), I was admitting that I needed them.

"Ah!" Tristan groaned as he pushed his cock back into me. I knew he had been trying to pace himself, but he couldn't hold it in anymore. My boy needed to cum.

I pressed against him with each thrust, urging him on and chasing my own orgasm as well. "That's it, honey," I moaned in a throaty whisper. "Fuck Mommy. Fuck Mommy. Fuck Mommy," I said in time with each one of his thrusts.

"I'm going to cum, Mom. I am going to cum," he moaned then blurted out, "I am cumming. Oh! Oh!"

I don't know if it was his words, or the sensation of his cock starting to throb, or all of it but my orgasm hit me suddenly. I felt it in my stomach and down through my clit into my legs and toes. I cinched my eyes closed and groaned, feeling him thrust his semen into me. "Yes! Yes baby. Fuck it into me. Fuck that cum into me!" I moaned as I came with him.

He groaned and gave me as much as he could and then collapsed, leaning forward with his head on my back.

We stayed like this for several moments. Mother and son, fully connected. Then we both gasped as he pulled out of me and I let myself fully lay forward. Tristan lay on his side, eyes closed.

I took a deep, cleansing breath and then rolled to my side. My heart dropped suddenly as I realized my bedroom door was open and Alex stood looking in.

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I didn't like secrets. I knew Mike was not ready to know about any of this, but he wouldn't be home for several days. I had thought about telling Alex and Tristan about what was happening, but the truth was that between life and the two of them, I didn't have time to plan it out. In some ways, this was the best way: to force the conversation.

Alex's eyes were wide. He looked flushed and in shock.

My eyes met his and we just looked at each other. I sat up slowly, realizing that Tristan was actually dozing. Not wanting to wake him up, I moved very slowly from the bed, tossed on my clothes and then faced Alex again.

He had not moved. He was just watching me.

I noticed that the front of his pants were down and he was holding his cock. That was really sweet. He was such a sweet boy. I walked toward him and he backed away slowly and then said, "Sorry Mom."

"No baby," I whispered to him as I walked after him, closing the bedroom door as quietly as I could. "You have nothing to apologize for."

He frowned and walked into his room continuing to apologize.

I followed him in and closed the door behind me. "Alex, you don't need to be sorry," I said to him firmly but sweetly.

He sat on his bed and looked at me. His face was red like he was going to cry.

"Alex," I said as I sat next to him. "I am the one that should say sorry. I was going to talk to you about Tristan, but I didn't have a chance to."

He looked at me and said, "You don't need to tell me. It's--"

"Stop," I said to him in a firm maternal tone. "Let me explain something to you, sweetheart." I put my hand on his leg.

He took a deep breath and then he realized his semi hard erection was still out of the front of his pants. He moved to push it back in and I stopped him.

I pushed his hands away, pulled his waistband down under his balls and then grabbed his dick. "Please keep this here where I can see it, love," I said to him gently. "Mommy loves your cock. Do you know that?"

He just looked at me.

"Alex, I am your mother. But I have four boys. Four," I held up my four fingers of my free hand to make the point. "Do you know how much I love my sons?"

"A lot?" he asked weakly.

"More than anything. Each of you. A mom's heart is so big that I can love you totally and completely and still love your brother the same amount. Not to mention Caleb and David," I said with a smile. "Well not always David. But you know what I mean."

He laughed. "I guess I know that with my head. But it doesn't always feel like that."

I listened to him, clutching his penis in one hand. My heart hurt for my sweet son.

"I guess I hoped that what we had, or what we were doing was just for us and, I guess, just between me and you," he said. "I thought it was this special secret and you didn't do things like this for my brothers."

I heard him. I took a deep breath and nodded. "Sweetie, everything between you and I is just between us. What we do and how we do it is just about you and me. It is so special to me," I said. Then I gripped his cock tighter and stroked it very slowly. "This, you in my hand like this, is so special to me, Alex. It's like my hand was made to this for you."

He swallowed hard and his cock began to firm in my hand. "It feels like my penis was made for you too," he said with a smile.

I nodded. "Do you know what one of Mommy's absolute favorite things in the whole world is?" I asked in a sweet, maternal tone that Alex always loved.

"What?" He asked.

"Making my strong boy cum," I said. "Alex, Mommy would swallow you every single day and I hope that I can do that for you for a very long time. It makes me feel so special and so close to you." I started to stroke him faster.

He let out a deep breath and then said, "Mom. C-can we have sex like you and Tristan? I-I don't want to be a virgin any more and I want to do everything with you."

"Everything?" I asked with a grin.

He nodded.

"Stay just like that," I said to him as I stood up. I took my top off and slid back out of my shorts. My thighs were a bit sticky and my pussy had drips of Tristan's cum. I rubbed it with my fingers and smiled, I knew I had most of the two loads from Tristan still in me and I straddled Alex gently. I guided his dick to my entrance and then lowered myself all the way. My youngest son's erection was different than Tristan's but perfect in its own right. Skin on skin.

Alex looked up at me, breathing hard. I pushed my breast to his lips and his began to suck as I rocked my hips.

I am not sure I had experienced a more intimate act than my youngest son sucking my breast while I rode his cock. It didn't take long until he moaned around my breast and his cock shot everything up into me. I held my breast for him to continue to suck as he came. Every bond a mother has with each child is sacred.

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"So that is what is going on," I said looking from Tristan to Alex. "Your father doesn't know and I don't think he needs to. This is no different than any of the other things that we haven't told him over the years."

Tristan nodded thoughtfully and Alex smiled.

It felt good to have everything out in the open.

"What about Caleb and David?" Tristan asked. "I mean, how does this work? Like do we have to catch you with them or something and then we talk about it?"

I smiled. "I appreciate your question and, as of right now, nothing like this is happening with either of them. I did not plan this. Don't get me wrong, with both of you, I love this and I love you both. But I didn't plan it and so I have no plans or thoughts about being with them in the same way," I said directfully. One of the keys to mothering boys was to say things directly, make them feel special, but also act as if you had already thought everything through. The truth was that this question caught me totally off guard.

"Will you tell them?" Alex asked.

"I don't plan to," I said. "But, for whatever reason you want to, that is ok. But please let me know first."

Both of them nodded thoughtfully.

"I think the main thing is that you both understand that I love each of you," I said looking carefully into their eyes, Alex first and then Tristan. "Let's not worry too much about your brothers or father."

They both nodded again.

"Mom," Alex said. "You are the best mom ever."

"Absolutely the truth," Tristan said.

I laughed.

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Alex went to work some time later and Tristan had class, so I took some time to myself. Everything that was happening had happened so fast. Too fast. It felt like everything had changed and nothing had changed at the same time. I knew that I didn't feel guilty about what was happening. I couldn't even if I wanted to. It felt too good, too right and too necessary for my boys at this point. But I also knew that we couldn't share what was going on. I didn't feel settled about other people knowing.

I needed to call Caleb. Tristan reminded me again before he left.

The easy part was shifting to the next boy. I had always done that. Four boys. It is what you do. You celebrate with one, cry with the other, clean the next and scold the fourth all in the same hour. It is what you did.

Caleb was difficult though. He was my over-smart, over driven, high achiever. I knew he was working for some sort of promotion at his job that I didn't understand. Something to do with data and analysis and computers or something. He tried to explain it to me, and I told him it was great, but I had no clue what he did all day.

We had always had a space between us. He just did what he wanted to do and he seemed to always be fine without me. We had coffee from time to time, but of the four boys he was the one I had the toughest time connecting with. In light of everything happening with Tristan and Alex, this lack of connection became even more apparent. It made my heart hurt. But I couldn't make Caleb come to me. All I could do was remind him that I was here and available. I was his available mom.

I chickened out on calling him and sent him a text instead. To my surprise, a few minutes later he texted me back.

Caleb: Interesting timing.

Me: What do you mean?

Caleb: I am actually in the neighborhood.

Me: Want to come over? I am home all alone. Dad is out of town again.

Caleb: What about Alex?

Me: He is working.

Caleb: He still has a job?

Me: Yes. Why don't you come over?

There was a long pause. This is what Caleb always did. He made you wait, like he had more important things to do.

Caleb: Ok. I will be there in fifteen.

Me: Yay!

I smiled. I was always a little nervous with Caleb at first. It was dumb. I am sure we had some issue to work out or something. I guess I struggled with not knowing how to take care of him when he didn't need anything. I struggled feeling like he did need me.

I cleaned up a bit, realizing that I looked like I had been having sex all morning, which I suppose was the truth. I ran a brush through my hair and washed my face. I brushed my teeth and smiled. I loved the feeling of my son's cumming in me in the morning.

"That's an understatement," I said to myself as I took one more look in the mirror. I wondered absently if I was a sex addict. "Probably something like that," I said to myself as I went down the stairs.

A few minutes later Caleb arrived. He knocked, as if he was some kind of guest and I let him in. He was tall, confident and looked more like Mike than he did me. He had a very analytical mind and I knew he was always thinking and always half present in any room. He was always thinking about something else at the same time. I wished he would give me his full attention.

We went to the living room and I noticed that he glanced down at my legs, and my butt. I smiled. He still was my son. Wanting to possibly make him more present in the room mentally, I turned around a spent time fluffing up the couch pillows, bending over a bit more than I needed to and sticking my butt out. I knew the string of my thong was likely visible and I spread my legs a bit as I grabbed the throw pillow. I felt his eyes on me and I wondered if he ever thought about grabbing that thong string. I was getting wet again.

I think I am a sex addict.

I let out a breath, stood up straight and stretched my back. I knew he was looking at me. Every mom needs these moments with her sons.

"So," I said to him as I turned around. "What brings you to the neighborhood? I feel like I haven't talked to you in a few days."

He smiled at me, "Well, um..." he paused.

I leaned forward a bit, so he could see my cleavage if he needed to.

He did. His eyes flashed down to my chest then back to my face. "Um, sorry Mom. I lost my train of thought. You look really nice today by the way."

"Oh, you are sweet, Caleb," I said genuinely. "I try."

"You really don't need to try that hard, Mom. You have always been really beautiful," Caleb said easily. He looked away for a moment and then back at me and said, "So I was in the neighborhood just working at the coffee shop down the street. I didn't have any meetings today and that is a good place to focus."

"Got it," I said, feeling a bit of a maternal pang knowing he was likely there all the time but never stopped by to say hi. "So is that why my text was timely?"

"Actually no," he said. "I was going to call you anyway." he paused awkwardly. "About Jen."

"Right," I said. "Tristan said you guys are getting serious."

He frowned, "Well, I thought so. She didn't."

"Oh," I said, frowning with him. "Sweetie, I am so sorry."

"It sucks," he said. "I have been working a lot to try to get this promotion and she was always there to kind of push me along. Help me focus. All of this is kind of a shock."

"When did it happen?" I asked. Every ounce of weird flirty mom stuff left me. I stood up and went to my son and sat beside him.

"Last night," he said quietly. This was the most vulnerable that I had seen him in a very long time.

I just sat there. I put my arm around him.

He leaned against me.

"What do you need, baby?" I asked.

"I don't know, Mom," He said. "I just feel so much pressure. Too much."

I stroked his back with my fingers. "You always take so much on yourself, sweetheart," I said quietly. "I am glad you came over."

He looked at me. He looked so much like his father. But he was different. He was vulnerable. He was letting me in. This was a moment that I had long forgotten about with Mike. Mike had always chosen his career over me and over the boys. He did it, believing that he was providing and taking care of us and he was. But in this moment, I realized that I had this same issue with Mike: there was always this wall up, like something was more important than me, or his children. I looked at Caleb and I didn't want him to do the same thing.

"You know that I always want to see you right?" I said to him. "Rich poor, big job or little job, I don't care at all. I just want you."

He smiled at me. Tears forming in the corner of his eyes. "I just want you to be proud. You and Dad."

I nodded. "I am always proud, Caleb."

He nodded. "I know you say that. But you have to because you are my mom," he said with a laugh.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't do that. Don't push what I am saying away because I am supposed to say that or feel that way. If you think that is really the reason then you have no clue how I actually feel about you," I looked away getting suddenly emotional. "That is a failure on my part I think. I try to love you the way I think you need it and not the way you actually receive it."

He put his head on my shoulder, "Your turn to stop. I know you love me, Mom. But you are amazing. I don't think you know how amazing you are. You gave up everything to raise us boys and I know we weren't easy. You let go of whatever you were going to do and you let go of it forever. Then you raised us and yes, Dad did too, but, just like today, Dad is gone. You did and do the heavy lifting. You are always kind to us, always welcoming, always wonderful and always so beautiful." He moved back and looked at me, his eyes went from legs to hips to chest to my face, "I mean, Mom, I don't know how you do it, but you are so beautiful."

Now my eyes were tearing. I had not had this kind of talk with Caleb possibly ever. I put my hand on his cheek. "You are sweet," I said to him and I kissed his forehead. "Why don't you take some time off from your job, call in sick and just come stay here for a day or two? Let your old mom fuss over you for a little while. You don't have to do anything. Tristan has been here and Alex is always here. They would love it if you were here." I put my hands on his, "I would absolutely love it if you were here with me, Caleb."

We looked at each other for a moment. My heart was beating fast.

"Ok," he said finally.

"Yay!" I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Can I ask you one thing?"

"Sure," he replied.

"Do you want me to refer to Jen as, 'that bitch' now?" I asked.

He laughed and nodded.

I hugged him tight. "I am so excited!" I whispered in his ear. I stood up and my tits almost brushed against his face. "You call in or whatever for your job and I will go make some coffee," I said in am excited voice. I skipped away and was aware that not only was he watching me and smiling, but the string of my thong was visible on both sides.

As I went into the kitchen, I absently wondered if he ever thought about grabbing that string on either side, like reigns to a horse, and fucking me from behind. Hard. If he needed me like that, I would be available. I was his mother afterall.