Night Feeding

11/01/2025

I couldn't believe my eyes. In all of the years as a forensics investigator, I thought I had seen it all. Even looking through the pictures, a shudder ran through me. This just... wasn't right. I'm so glad I started journaling; for cases exactly like this. Weird. Hard to process.

First off, the body was naked and uncovered, in bed. That's already incredibly odd, considering there was apparently no one else here, and no pets to have pulled the covers off. So this guy was just sitting naked on his bed, no covers, and the thermostat wasn't even turned up? Weird number 1.

Then there was the condition of his body. It was sort of mummified, desiccated if you will, but... the skin was still full, like, still hydrated. It was like some bad movie, where all the innards are sucked out. No obvious organs showing through, no fluids, just skin and bone. Except his skin wasn't dried out. And no incisions. So where did his intestines go? Liver? Kidneys? Weird number 2.

On top of that, his dick was... hard. I don't mean rigor mortis hard. I mean "morning wood" hard. Which I've never seen on a corpse. When you die, everything relaxes. You don't stay hard. Rigor mortis is hours after death. How the hell is this happening? That's weird number 3.

On top of it all, what makes it so odd, is how it... how I... felt.

Somehow, this whole scene still felt so erotic. I couldn't help but stare, but I could tell it wasn't just the morbid fascination of the scene. There was some deep, primal part of me that suddenly awoke and seemed to keep me captive.

Someone else found a journal nearby, but it became my job to read through it to see if there is anything in there to help give some answers as to what happened. Looks like this guys was journaling both his dreams from the night before, and then about the day he had. He mentions a therapist, I'll have to follow up with her to see if she spoke to him.

2025.10.15 - Wednesday

DREAM

Being my first journal entry for this new assignment Aaron gave me, hopefully this is enough to go off of later when we look back. I guess starting somewhere is better than never starting. Here goes.

This dream had me in the Army. I know nothing about the army other than what I've seen on TV, but, I somehow just knew. On a big runway thing. I think they call it "Flight Line"? I was given a spider by a higher-ranking someone. It was a big one. Like a giant tarantula or something, the body was probably 6 or 7 inches long, and a few inches wide. Thick legs, but a really good climber. Definitely not normal physics. It was mostly brown-red and fuzzy with some mottling on its butt. I could somehow tell it was intelligent, and was sort of playing with it on my hands and arms and stuff. I even found a big bug for it to eat, and pretty quickly it knew what I was trying to do, and it caught and ate it. Then it tried to guide me somewhere, and it turned out to be leading me to water, and spoke to me, telling me that this water (it was a puddle in the tarmac) was sacred to it, and not to let it dry up. Which made me panic a bit as it was hot out, and sunny. I started trying to find water and could tell it would dry up soon, but I woke up before I could find any water.

JOURNAL

Hump day! Half-way through the week. I've been seeing the new gal, Margaret, a bit more often at work. We've locked eyes a few times in the halls and said a few hellos, but nothing much more than that. I'm not sure where exactly she works, it seems to be on one of the upper floors. While neither of us has really made a move, it does seem like she might be going out of her way to route herself by my desk. I'm not exactly right in the path of where she seems to normally need to go.

2025.10.16 - Thursday

DREAM

This one felt longer and had a lot more detail that I could remember after waking. It felt like some drama/action movie that I was watching, not so much from my own POV. But there was Robin Williams as a main character, and even Alan Rickman(?!) starred. There was another, that guy from Home Alone - the one that played "Marv". There was to be some sort of expedition, and they all were along for the ride, all had some sort of specialty/skill. At some point, they were at a sort of boat docking area... like you see in the movies where they keep submarines and other boats during wartime, like a little cove-esque dock, where it's hidden in a bunker or something. There was no boat, but that was the setup. They came across some sort of big machine that was glowing, and Alan Rickman dropped to his knees and proclaimed that this is what they had been looking for. I don't know exactly what, but the "vibe" was a "scroll of truth" sort of thing. Like it was going to divulge the secrets of the universe. Just then, they had to run for some reason before they could really investigate and get such secrets. Like some alarm started going off, except I couldn't hear anything. But they did. While running away, "Marv" got knocked into the water and had to try and swim across to the next dock-structure opening, probably 50 yards away. As he tried swimming across, something tried to pull him under! Just then, guards started firing from the top of the structure they were in, and whatever was trying to pull him under disappeared, and Marv dove under a bit to get away from the bullets. He made it across to the other side and left to the rendezvous point (no idea where that was going to be), and the other two (and I) knew it, and they continued on to try and escape and get to the same point to get home. I woke up before the dream ended - they were still trying to find a way out. They seemed lost when I woke up.

JOURNAL

Getting close to Friday! I'm hoping this weekend allows me to get a bit of house-work done. There's a few things I need to get to, I've just been feeling a bit overwhelmed at work. It feels like every weekend that comes up, I barely have the mental energy to focus on getting anything done. I barely clean and straighten up, and then it feels like I'm about wiped and just can't seem to bring myself to get much more done. Maybe I should find a new job. Something a little less draining. I know my therapist has been telling me without telling me, because she's a good therapist. Maybe I should listen and actually do something for once.

2025.10.17 - Friday

DREAM

Hopefully I'll get better at reading these dreams, or maybe soon there will be some patterns. Or my Aaron will fix me and I won't have to keep up on recording these damned dreams and journaling. I'm already tired of it.

Strange dream this time. Not that my dreams aren't often strange of course, quite the opposite. Even for a dream, this was... something different. I know that as we dream, we often find that our unconscious minds are attempting to process much of what has been going on in our lives, and makes some crazy amalgamation of themes and images in order to do so. However this had the feeling of being very... straightforward. And yet, I couldn't really make anything specific out in terms of what it could mean. Hopefully getting it down will make some sense, even if only when I look back on it.

I dreamt I was in bed. I was (oddly) naked, and could feel the chilled night air. This was one of those dreams where it was in first-person, so I was only able to really look around a bit, and it was obviously my own room. However, I couldn't move my body. Not that I tried much, but I just knew I couldn't. It was dark in my room, but there was just enough ambient light to see. At least, I could see myself. The rest of the room was shrouded in an almost oppressive darkness that threatened to consume everything. Suddenly, I felt what seemed like claws on the skin of my lower legs, as if something was gently climbing me. I looked down but couldn't see anything as the feeling crept up my legs. Then, suddenly I see a brief mass of small tentacles move towards me, between my legs, out of the darkness. I suddenly woke up. Terrified, actually, and I can't say exactly why. There was something ominous about those tentacles. The way those claws (which I still never saw) were creeping up my legs.

That dream has me feeling a bit anxious, even as I've woken up and I'm writing it all down. I have no idea what that could have been from. The image of those tentacles stayed with me throughout the day, invading my thoughts. They were each maybe a bit longer, but no bigger around, than fingers. Yet, they seemed to come from some central branch, or location, that I wasn't able to see in the darkness. Like some sort of squid or octopus, floating in the darkness between my legs.

JOURNAL

Today was fine, though the dream had me feeling a little off-center all day. The highlight though was that Margaret came down to drop some files on my desk and seemed to linger a bit today, asking about my weekend, and how long before we think John bungles the new client.

I think I ought to ask her out. I know the rule of "don't shit where you eat" applies here, but she seems cool, I really like her.

Pretty quiet for a Friday overall though. I had to work late again, so by the time I was off I wasn't really in the mood for hitting up a bar or anything. Top Ramen and drifting off to sleep sounds like the best option, I can barely even keep my eyes open for this journal entry.

2025.10.18 - Saturday

DREAM

I don't remember much of this one. I remember something about ramen. I was eating it and LOVED it. Then it suddenly turned huge, and I was drowning in it. Couldn't get away. Like, I still enjoyed the ramen, but suddenly it was sort of overwhelming. All consuming. That's about all I can remember, the dream faded pretty quickly after waking up.

JOURNAL

As I go back through this journal and the dreams I've been having lately, I think it's all pointing to needing a change. I know I'm only a few days in, but all my dream entries certainly seem to point to it, through themes like running away, searching for answers, being consumed and even anxiety about fulfilling needs (maybe the spider was me/my subconscious?). Even my few journal entries show a need for change. I've definitely been feeling drained and burnt out for a while now, at least since April.

2025.10.19 - Sunday

DREAM

This was a fun one! Well, mostly. I was at a carnival. Somehow I had all the tickets, and could ride all the rides, and there was none of that fear that comes with seeing all of the supports cribbed and the operators smoking meth on the other side of the tent while wondering if the setup will hold. I still had that child-like sense of wonder and excitement. I was able to have all the fun I wanted! Up until the end. Then the tickets ran out. I snuck onto a ride, but then the ride broke. It was the one where you lay on the sled while the "spaceship" whirls around, and the centrifugal force slides the sled up. Except my sled broke and shot up, and the roof of the ride broke open and shot me out and I was suddenly strapped in while flying through the air, waiting to hit the ground and certain death. I woke up just before hitting the ground.

JOURNAL

I've started to come up with a plan for some changes. I updated my resume and started looking for jobs. I'll try to keep the search to a job around here but honestly, there's not much keeping me tied here. So I might start looking elsewhere if there's not a lot of options around here. Also, my brain kept trying to tell me I need a woman. It's been a long time since Katie, and I really need to just move on. I buried myself with work to avoid the pain of the split, I think, and now it's catching up. Work has me ragged, this isn't sustainable.

2025.10.20 - Monday

DREAM

This one starred the new gal from work, Margaret. And it was a bit spicy. We were at work, and in an office. Not MY office, not the real one, but it WAS my office. I sorta just knew. And everyone was gone, like at lunch or something, but it was definitely the middle of the day. I don't remember much of what was said, just that it was definitely flirty. Very flirty. And that was before she unbuttoned her blouse as she was sitting on my desk (I was in my chair) and revealed she was wearing lingerie under her work clothes. She sat in front of me, and after unbuttoning, she slowly spread her legs, and very slowly lifted her skirt higher and higher, dragging it along her thighs. Some of the dream was my POV, and some was sort of off to the side, like a camera or someone watching. It sorta jumped back and forth a bit. Before she fully pulled the skirt up, somehow I just suddenly knew that she had no panties on.

I dove my head under her skirt and this is where the point of view switched to seeing my body, head under her skirt, as she leaned back. One arm on the desk, the other squeezing her pushed-up breast still trapped in the lingerie. I was giving her oral as she moaned about how I was so good, and that my tongue was hitting the right spots. Her hand digging into her soft breast, kneading in time with my tongue.

Suddenly the dream jumped and she was on her knees under my desk, blouse still opened but no lingerie, and she was now giving me oral while I talked to another coworker that was by my office door - he couldn't see her. Both of my hands were on my desk while she was trying to be quiet, giving my rod attention while I attempted to keep a straight face. Her breasts were out and I could see them swinging and jiggling gently as her head bobbed back and forth.

The dream jumped again, and the blouse was still tucked into her skirt, but was off her shoulders and draped as she was bent over the desk, her rear facing me. Her breasts were hanging, swinging slightly and my hands on her hips, skirt flipped up. I could see her wet slit and was about to enter her, and I woke up.

I tried to get back to sleep to finish that dream, as it was a bit before my alarm went off. Of course, it never seems to work out that way. I was pretty awake and unable to get back to sleep.

JOURNAL

The damn car didn't want to start again this morning, happy Monday. I finally got it going after another jump. It's got a new battery though, so maybe the alternator is slowly going out? I really should get that checked.

Not much in the way of anything new at work. Margaret stopped by my desk a couple of times, and I commented on her necklace. It really was a beautiful piece, but I think we both knew there was a reason she wore a necklace that seemed to draw the eye right down to the edge of her low-cut blouse. She doesn't usually dress like that, and she seemed to find even small excuses to come to my desk today. She really had the cutest, overly-innocent smile when I paid the compliment - maybe because she was leaned over quite a ways while talking with me. I suspect she knew where my eyes were, making sure to draw them there. Too bad she works up on the third floor, I don't get to see her too often. I'll have to start finding ways to get up there to say hi.

2025.10.21 - Tuesday

DREAM

Another odd dream. This is definitely connected to the dream from 10/17, but it was also different. This time I wasn't in bed. I was floating(?), but couldn't move again. It was dark, all I could see was myself. I felt those claws again and looked down, this time I could see hands. They were slender, dark blue, and the fingernails were instead thick, but sharp claws. More dragon-like than cat. The hands moved up my naked legs, the nails slightly dragging and pricking as they moved up my lower legs, then my upper legs. Then I saw a face come through the darkness. A woman's face. But it was also... not. It's hard to describe, but there was an uncanny valley effect. It seemed human, yet not. A woman, yet not. Something was wrong. But I couldn't place it.

The thing had black eyes, and as it locked eyes on me, I couldn't look away. I was filled with a sense of dread, of bad things to come. And yet, I was hard. Not my body, but my penis. I can't explain why, and I know penises have "a mind of their own". Besides, it was just a dream. But still, there was something unnerving about the inhumanness of the woman, and my penis suddenly springing to life. The woman, the thing, smiled as she looked at my erect penis, then at me again, and I woke up. I was sweating through my sheets, my heart was racing, and I felt simultaneously terrified, but also curious. I wanted to know more. I somehow knew the two dreams were connected, but I couldn't figure it out, couldn't figure out how I knew. I just did. Why was I filled with so much existential dread? Why did I dream about a woman's face and my penis getting hard? I know it's been a while since I've last had sex, but not that long, surely.

JOURNAL

The rest of the day at work again went fine. Margaret left early, before lunch, so I wasn't able to talk to her much. That left me in a bit of a funk, I was really hoping to talk to her. I really should ask her out, if her absence affects me this much. I think I'll take her to that new burger place. First date, keep it more relaxed.

I had another session with Aaron, we talked about some of the themes I've identified in my entries. He said he was impressed that I was able to discern a clear pattern so quickly, but, I think we both knew I needed change in my life. It was no secret, I just needed to accept it.

I have to remember this weekend to make sure I finish fixing the TV. I tried watching a movie on it, but it just wasn't right. There was a delay between the picture and the sound, and the picture itself looked pretty off, hard to describe. Maybe a bit fuzzy as well as the colors being just a bit off. That's what I get for deciding to try and refurbish a broken TV I found online. I guess it's just my phone for now to watch much of anything until I get that all taken care of.

2025.10.22 - Wednesday

DREAM

I dreamed my stupid car was breaking again. Something about the brake lines. It was cold and snowy out, and the clutch and brakes just weren't working right. Soft, inconsistent. And when I looked in the snow where my car had been, I could see a reddish-pink fluid, I guess it was supposed to be brake fluid, even though it looked like transmission fluid. That's what my dream said it was, anyways. It was driving OK, but I knew I needed to fix it soon. I kept driving around, but I was apprehensive the whole time. Which is unfortunate, as I usually enjoy driving in the snow. Especially at night, in the city, as this was. No one around, snow softly falling, and a low enough grip threshold for some fun. Instead I was just nervous.

Then it was suddenly warm. Summer. I hadn't fixed the issue, but the brakes and clutch all worked fine. I was pissed, as I have no idea what would make it leak fluid when the weather is cold, but not when the weather is hot. In the dream it was definitely due to the weather/temperature, I somehow just KNEW that.

I woke up just before starting a massive tear-down in my garage.

JOURNAL

I realized today that I had trouble keeping my mind off of Margaret all yesterday when I didn't see her, and really enjoyed seeing her again today in the office. I should probably ask her out, but I don't want to assume her flirting is actual interest. She may just like the game. And to be honest, I like it too. We'll see how this week goes and I'll see if I can discern whether a date is in-bounds.

The neighbor's cat was in the garden again. I never know what to do. I see it with enough rodents that I know it's doing great pest control, but why does it feel the need to use my garden as its personal litterbox? I guess if that's the price I pay for good pest control, it's probably worth it.

2025.10.23 - Thursday

DREAM

I was flying. Maybe floating? No, there was a sense of control. Of levity. Something was different, and I can't put my finger on it. But I was above some countryside. Enjoying the breeze, watching the fields move past me, below. It must have been something like wheat, or maybe canola. Everything was green, but it was the almost sterile monoculture of farmland, and yet, being that beautiful green, it still always has a feeling of wholesomeness... is it maybe thoughts of fertility? Of abundance? More? Maybe that's what the dream was really about - something wholly different than my city life. I felt free outside the city, in a "different life", yet with themes of fertility and abundance. Perhaps those are some themes to consider and see if they're reoccurring. Perhaps it's my mind pushing me to "take flight" to find a more "fertile" and fulfilling life..?

JOURNAL

Apparently a date seems to be within bounds. As (what now seems to be) usual, Margaret stopped by my desk a few times, and walked by other times in what seemed to be an extra flirtatious mode. She asked a couple of times about things outside of work - what food or drinks I liked, hobbies, etc. she dropped a couple of hints, without being too direct or explicit, about doing them together. I don't remember exactly what she said, I just remember thinking "yep, I should definitely ask her out"

But I didn't

I was still too nervous I suppose. It's been a long time since Katie, and I guess I just feel... out of practice?

Though maybe that's the point. I shouldn't need to be "in practice". It seems like Margaret really likes me. Maybe I'll ask her on a date tomorrow. It may be a little rushed to ask tomorrow at work about a date this weekend, but we'll see what she says.

2025.10.24 - Friday

DREAM

Again. I had another dream about that... thing. Woman? No, thing. I feel as though if I don't get down as much detail that I'll completely forget it.

I dreamt I was in my room again, in bed. Once again, naked. I couldn't see much, the room was very dim, just ambient light from the window letting in the city's light pollution. Suddenly I sensed a presence in the corner of the room. It moved forward, towards me, and I can finally see it. It's the thing from the other two dreams. Seeing it fully fills me with several feelings, namely an anxious fear, some sort of existential dread, and, curiously, a sense of lust. Those feelings don't often go together, but with this description, I'm sure I'll remember why if I ever somehow forget.

The being was likely around six feet tall, and generally shaped like a naked woman. Except... I could sense something was off, even outside of her corporeal appearance. As I mentioned before her face seemed mostly quite beautiful, though there was something off about it. She had black eyes, that is to say, her iris and pupil were both pitch black, as though there was no iris, just pupil. It had long black hair that went down to its waist. Its hair dropped in front some, covering its large breasts that seemed engorged; the way a pregnant or breastfeeding woman's breasts seem "extra full" when full of milk. It had wings that when folded reached maybe six to eight inches above its head, and at its lowest seemed to drop just below its wide hips. Its skin was a deep, dark blue, and seemed almost translucent at the same time. There was a texture to it that I was able to discern as it drew near. It seemed the texture of a salamander, or other amphibian, a bit bumpy, as if covered in permanent goosebumps. Through the window's dim light I could see a bit of a sheen - maybe an oily or slightly slimy film covering the skin - no hair to speak of save for on its head. The translucence gave an eerie effect, and I was able to just see that there was texture to that subdermal hue - what seemed like cordages or straps made up the structure and contours of the body, and they almost seemed to shift and twist and move as it did. Not quite like musculature, something else, like a bodice of sorts under the skin, but, all over. Like it was a part of her skin.

The way it walked over to the bed slowly was like a woman attempting to draw a mate, or a fly trap trying to ensnare a flighty victim. The allure, the attention. Slow, steady, unwavering. I felt myself compelled to both flee, and to stay, yet I couldn't move if I had decided to flee. I wanted to both hide my suddenly swelling member out of modesty, though also show it off out of pride and temptation.

As it drew closer, I was stuck laying in my bed. It spoke to me, though it didn't really speak, its mouth never moved. It was as if it was talking directly to my mind, though no actual words were spoken. I just understood things. As dreams often have a habit of doing, I was somehow able to make meaning, knowing it was this being communicating with me. It said its name was Shctharah, or, at least, that's the closest I can come to spelling it. That it was here for me. That it was surprised I hadn't panicked and mentally fled from fear as most do when it begins to appear in dreams. That it would enjoy me. I was, again, full of fright and excitement like I've never experienced, either in dreams or wakefulness.

It conveyed all of this as it drew closer, until it was standing next to my bed as I lay helplessly naked. My dick was full of blood, seeming to strain itself, and I was unable to stop looking at the form next to my bed. It slowly reached out towards my engorged protuberance, and I both feared its touch and felt I needed to feel its touch. I watched as it reached out, thin, delicate fingers ending in sharp claws, those same fingers that were crawling up my legs in dreams prior, drawing near to my tip. A drop of precum had already begun to ooze out of me, that drop of dew glistening in the dim light. I awoke just as a claw began to gently drag itself through the precum and down the side of my tip.

I awoke with a start, my morning wood straining against my boxers as it always is first thing in the morning. But my heart was racing, I was sweating. I couldn't shake this sense of foreboding.

JOURNAL

I was a bit late today after writing down what I saw in my dream, though Margaret covered for me. She seemed concerned, she could tell I was a bit preoccupied today. I told her it was nothing, just some odd dreams that had me a bit "off" today. She said she understood, and has been having some odd ones lately as well, though I doubt similar to mine. She had a bit more of a devious look on her face. I almost asked about hers, but she suddenly "had to go get some reports done" for this afternoon's meetings.

I tried going to get a sandwich at lunch, but they closed for the day for deep cleaning. I love their enthusiasm for a healthy kitchen and restaurant, but it ended up meaning I went without lunch for the day and had to rely on my snacks. Hooray for a can of tuna and some apparently stale almonds.

Traffic was pretty terrible today too. An accident - luckily no one was badly injured, just the usual lack of paying attention by one party means we all now suffer in traffic together and my commute home doubles.

I finally get home and find that the power is out. I call the city, and they have no records of any issues in my area. I try calling the apartment maintenance guy, but he doesn't answer. Hopefully busy fixing the power. In order to keep the food good, I opt to just keep the fridge and freezer closed, and I went out for food. I went to that new burger place, Gordo's. I don't think I'll take Margaret there. It's now about three in the morning, I've spent the last several hours praying to the porcelain god. Food Poisoning doesn't make for a good first date.

2025.10.25 - Saturday

DREAM

My day may not have been great, but my dream sure was. It was another one with Margaret. I definitely need to ask her out, I think that's certainly a pattern my brain is trying to signal to me.

We were at my office again. Different office than the last dream, but definitely MY office. It wasn't a super posh corner office, but it had a window. And it was higher up than my real office... higher up than our building even goes, I think. It was after hours. As dreams do, I had knowledge of things without them being explicitly said... we were supposed to meet each other here after hours. We both had keys, and knew no one would be here. This office, my office, had a direct line of sight straight to the elevators. Once again I was sitting in my chair, off to the side of my desk. From my chair, I could see out the office door to the elevators.

The elevators slid open, and there she was. With the smooth slide sideways, I was treated to Margaret, in a corset and matching underwear, and heels. The corset was a deep, dark red, and acted as a push-up bra, but also enhanced her waist and hips beautifully. The underwear she wore was the same color, and that triangle caught my eye as her hips swayed, her heels clacking on the floor as she strode straight to me. Her face was so seductive; she knew what she wanted. She knew what I wanted. And we were both going to get it.

She strode in and sat in my lap, quickly grinding on me as we kissed. I felt her up, feeling her curves through the corset and gently tugging a fistful of her hair to expose her neck as I nibbled on it.

The scene changed, she was on her knees in front of me as she unzipped my pants and pulled out my already hard penis and started really going to town on it. It was amazing oral; I ran my fingers through her hair as her head bobbed up and down, taking my entire length in her mouth. She started to play with herself as she did, moaning with her mouth full of me. The sounds of her moans and the soft sounds of her wet throat working were heavenly.

The scene switched again, and she was once again bent over the desk. I could see her rear spread due to being bent over, her thong underwear covering her holes, fabric stretched over her mound. I pulled it to the side and licked up everywhere I could, savoring the taste and smell of her sex, listening to her moan and push back against my face.

As the scene changed again, the corset and underwear were gone, as well as the rest of my clothes. She was on the desk facing me, I had already entered her as she leaned back on the desk. Watching her body move under me was incredible. The ripple of her skin, the way her breasts bounced back and forth... Of course I'm sort of assuming what she looks like underneath her clothes, but, it's probably not a far-off estimation. She moaned loudly, laying back and putting her hands on her breasts, squeezing them as she wrapped her legs around my hips.

The scene changed again, and I was behind her, and she was against the glass window, pressed up to it with her hips pushed back, pushing into me. I had a hold of her hair, pulling her head back, her chest pressed against the glass window for anyone to see... well, if they had binoculars and knew where to look.

She nearly screamed as I ejaculated in her this time just as I woke up to a mess in my boxers.

JOURNAL

Nothing much to report on today. After last night's food poisoning I laid low for the day, mostly watching things on my phone, since the TV still isn't working. It did give me a lot of time to think about life, though. And my dreams. I started putting out applications and resumes to a few places, though I'm not expecting much. The job market is shifting, I think, and I might be stuck with the job I have for a bit. I don't have the savings to cash-flow myself indefinitely, so, I need to stay put with this job until I find another. Hopefully I can find one soon.

I'm mostly feeling fine now though, the food poisoning seems to have largely waned. I should be able to finish up the TV repair tomorrow. Hopefully that doesn't take too long, and it all just works.

2025.10.26 - Sunday

DREAM

It was there, again! As soon as I was asleep, like it was waiting for me. This time I lay motionless, but, floating... there was no bed, no room. Just us. I could see her, I mean it, better, though it was as if there was no source of light. It, we, just were.

I was helplessly naked again. It stepped towards me and smiled, keeping its lips tight. Its black eyes scanned my body, lingering on my manhood, already thickening. It knelt, on what floor I'm not sure, but it knelt in front of me. Just then it opened its mouth and tentacles came out, as if they were its tongue! Those same tentacles from my previous dream! They were a black-green sort of color, with suckers at different places. I tried to get away as the being leaned in, but I was once again unable to move. I watched as the tentacles began to touch the tip of my cock. It was the strangest sensation, feeling the tentacles start to feel around the tip, sliding across the bulbous glans, feel along the ridge, sliding around it and along the shaft. I could feel those small suckers on my skin - sometimes gentle, sometimes not. The wet, slimy sliding of the tentacles along my shaft, gripping and pulling and releasing. I would be lying if I said it wasn't pleasurable, but it was difficult to think about that as I watched those appendages out of its mouth writhe against me.

As the tentacles continued to explore, the pleasure took over in my brain. There was only so much I could do against the now almost rhythmic sliding and tightening and pulling, those black eyes switching from mine own eyes to my hardened sex. It seemed it was exploring me, tasting me, and the sight of that being there was more appealing the longer I looked. Before I knew it the pleasure built and, out of nowhere, I came.

My body shuddered as my orgasm rolled through me, and it certainly caught the being - Shctharah - off guard. My ejaculate shot out in ropes, across its cheek, chin, and some even dropping onto that cleaved shelf of a chest. The face it made was a look of disappointment and maybe even contempt as a long finger drew through the cum on its chest, a drop hanging off one of the claws. It held the finger over its mouth and allowed the cum to drop onto a couple of the tentacles, which had by now released their grip on me. The tentacles retracted into the mouth and an eyebrow raised as it looked at me again, as if now intrigued. Looking at my softening cock for a moment before standing up, it communicated that it would be back. I awoke.

JOURNAL

Until today I had thought that all of those visits were just dreams. Likely brought on by some amalgamation of my desires for Margaret, maybe a bit too much TV, and a stagnant sex life. However, when I got in the shower this morning, I noticed something... I had to look multiple times, actually.

Sucker marks.

All along my shaft I could see little signs of suckers having been all over my shaft, and even on my tip.

I'm not really sure what to think. Perhaps I did something in my sleep? Like that old parable of a man dreaming he was eating lamb, only to awake eating a pillow. Very strange.

In any case, I got the TV fixed, the picture is great! There's definitely something satisfying about taking something broken and making it work, making it whole again. Otherwise an easy Sunday to slip back into the existential dread of having to go back to work. At least I'll get to see Margaret tomorrow. I'll be sure to ask her out, hopefully we can do something together on Friday, for Halloween. Lots of parties and events to go to around here. And maybe asking her out will help with these odd dreams - I'm sure that's what they're trying to tell me - that I need a girlfriend.

2025.10.27 - Monday

DREAM

Oddly enough, I don't remember dreaming tonight. I usually do and can at least remember that I did dream, even if I can't remember what the dream was. I do remember feeling a bit disoriented waking up, though. Like it took me a while to even turn my alarm off. Maybe that's why. Maybe I didn't sleep well?

JOURNAL

Not much to report on for the day. A pretty average Monday at work. Other than I asked her out! Margaret said yes! Actually, that's not quite true. She asked why I hadn't asked earlier (haha). Not much else happened work wise... or if it did, I didn't really care enough to pay attention. I'm just excited to be able to go out on a date with Margaret! I told her I would pick her up Friday after work, and that the location is a surprise. I asked if she already had a costume picked out, and she said she did - she's planning to be a vampire, but hadn't made up her mind about which bar or brewery to go to. They all had fun events, she said she thought she'd figure it out day-of. Awesome, I told her I was going as Van Helsing. I don't know why I said that, I had no intention of doing anything for Halloween. Now I have to come up with a costume and where to go... I should probably figure that all out, and quick. Just a few days.

2025.10.28 - Tuesday

DREAM

Yet another dream with this... thing... Shctharah. This time I was already partway through a dream when it appeared. The dream was, until then, quite normal. Normal for dreams, that is. I had been dreaming about being somewhere cold, distant. It was snowing - maybe in the woods somewhere? I don't recall what I was doing - probably looking for something or someone. Then I was in a small cabin, fire dwindling. Then it walked in, naked, from the outside. I could feel the cool air, but it moved as if the sub-freezing temps outside didn't phase its naked body at all. The hips swayed and moved more intently than in other dreams. Trying to draw my gaze. Draw me.

It walked right up to me and I found myself able to move just a bit this time. I took a half step back in my dream, a natural reaction to such an aggressive approach from such a creature I should think, but then I paused. Or was I unable to move again? It knelt in front of me again, like the other dream, and suddenly my clothes were off. No recalling taking them off, but of course, dreams are weird like that. My dick was almost hard as it gently put its hands on my thighs, but I could feel the hands grip firmly, claws digging in a bit uncomfortably.

I saw its mouth open and the tentacles slowly came out, gently touched my tip, and was already able to pull away a small string of precum. I have never produced as fast as I do in these dreams. I don't have wet dreams normally, so, I have no idea if that's normal for dreams or not. But it does seem strangely fast. But of course, I guess my body already knows what's happening since it's my brain coming up with these machinations.

Then I watched its jaw stretch open, like a snake, the skin on its cheeks stretching somehow to accommodate. The tentacles reached forward and I tried to step back as its head moved forward, but the fingers held fast, maybe even pulling me forward. My tip slid through the tentacles and I could tell I entered its throat. It pulled me in until her tentacles were crawling up my stomach, and some even slid under, around, caressing my balls; sliding along the thin skin and rippling the tentacles to play with the tender cargo within. As the tentacles moved, I could feel it on my hardened cock. The tentacles made for a tight fit around my shaft, and the movements rippled all through my balls to tip. It moved back and forth, the head of my cock rubbing against its throat, past the tentacles, and it all felt incredibly tight - almost uncomfortably so. Everything was warm - no, hot - and wet. Slimy, even. like a normal blowjob turned up to 11.

The pleasure was immense, my knees almost buckling with the intensity of what I was feeling. My hands came to rest on the top of her head, and she never seemed to notice. While I was worried at first about what sort of teeth, or beak, may lie in wait for my poor, sensitive dick, that was quickly abandoned as I felt that slick sensation of it expertly working to bring me to completion.

I could feel the rise of my own orgasm, and I stuttered that I was about to cum. Her hands slid up and behind my legs to keep me steady (as if I was going to pull away at this point), and pushed her face forward, my tip sliding somehow even further down its throat. I could feel a suction as the tentacles in its mouth and throat started rhythmically contracting, starting at the base of my cock and rolling towards my tip, the same way a farmer might milk a cow's teat to coax everything out. I came hard, and I could feel my cock swell as I pushed for what little more I could get into her. It kept milking my cock, sucking down every bit of cum without even a second thought. As if she was hungry for it.

My orgasm finally stopped and my tip became intensely sensitive as she continued to milk me for a moment or two, but the contractions were less and less strong. It gripped once more at the base as it then pulled me out of her mouth. The tentacles gently guided my softening member away as its jaw went back into a more normal placement (I shudder a bit now as I think about how that looked), and one of the tentacles "licked" a small bead of leftover cum off my tip.

The being looked up and me and smiled, dragging nails lightly up my legs as it stood. It gently grasped my soft cock and balls in one hand after standing. Shctharah gave them a gentle squeeze, winked, and I woke up.

The whole dream was great but I would be lying if I said it didn't leave me feeling drained, even after a full night's sleep. I just feel... tired. I got to work and even Margaret said I looked tired. I think her exact word was "drained". And that's how I felt. Maybe that's what the dream was trying to tell me. Not only do I need a better sex life, but being so invested in work has me feeling absolutely drained. Of energy, of passion, and I'm not even getting paid well for it. It seems like maybe I need to rethink my career path.

JOURNAL

Even tired, I was excited all day. I kept looking forward to Friday, being able to take Margaret out on a date. The few times I saw her today, I swear she rocked her hips a bit more as she passed, knowing I was probably watching. Her glances were almost more teasing, more flirtatious than before, if that's even possible. We have to keep things low-key for now. While there's nothing explicit in the rules against coworkers dating, the culture here is a bit... odd. Everyone acts like robots - like no one's even allowed to be friends outside of work, let alone be romantic interests.

I think that's part of why Margaret caught my eye. She's different. She doesn't feel the need to play by all of the rules, and even seems to revel a bit in finding subtle ways to rebel. She seems to be the type that learns the rules only by breaking them, or at least pushing them to the breaking point. That makes sense too, her going with Vampire. Something subtly sexy, breaking the rules (of nature), acting dangerous in a world of safety.

I have to make sure to get my car washed this week before the date. It's not exactly a looker as it is, but, you only get one first impression. Luckily the interior isn't too dirty, it's mostly just the outside. I'll stop by the carwash on Thursday so the wash is nice and fresh for Friday.

I met with Aaron again, we talked a bit about my asking Margaret out, and how I feel about it after Katie. I confirmed I was excited - excited for the first time in months. fixing the TV was the closest to happy I had been in a while, and that's a bit sad. I need more, and Aaron agreed. Margaret seems, so far, like a good step in the right direction to get myself back out there. Not just in dating, but in getting myself back into "life" like a real person again.

2025.10.29 - Wednesday

DREAM

Again! It came to me again last night. I've been trying to make sure I recount everything, but there's just so much detail in these dreams. I'm going to try to put as much detail as I can - not only do I want to remember these incredibly erotic dreams, but I have a feeling there might be more to this than just dreams. So I will try to track every detail after each dream so that I can later put the pieces together. Hopefully I can get it all out on paper, I have been incredibly tired today. Margaret even mentioned that I was looking a bit tired, maybe sick. I told her I just wasn't sleeping well, though, that's not entirely true, I think. Or, at least, I'm dreaming we'll. Maybe my actual restful sleep isn't also happening?

So last night, as I drifted off, I found myself in a haze. As in, I wasn't really in a room, or anywhere. I was sort of just floating again, and there was a haze, almost like a light red mist of sorts. It wasn't too thick, but I couldn't see far, either. But then, it was there, Shctharah. It came out of the mists, her hands working over its curves as it sort of floated towards me. I could hear it in my head, telling me that it needed me, or rather, needed my seed. No... she called it "essence"... Naturally my cock grew quickly as I heard that sentiment and watched her hands cup her breasts and give them a light squeeze, which elicited a drop or two of some sort of "milk" from the deep, dark blue nipples that stood proudly from her engorged breasts.

My arms and legs were stuck in place, I couldn't really move other than my head and eyes to follow her movements. She floated to me, a wicked smile stretching across her face. I was terrified she might open her maw full of tentacles and try to pull my face off or something, but I was also filled with a sense of lust; the two fought in my soul for a few moments as a single claw dragged down from that space between my collarbones, down my chest, and I could feel as the claw touched my base. Her hand wrapped around my shaft and she lightly pulled, her skin sliding over mine, and her claw tracing from behind my sack, along the centerline, and up the underside until the claw paused at my frenulum, and a single bead of precum appeared, which she apparently felt drip lightly onto a finger. She smiled, without her black eyes ever leaving mine, and pulled her finger up to taste my precum with those tentacles barely escaping her lips to do so.

At that point, the battle between terror and lust was over - the latter had won, though I still couldn't move.

She floated down, and looked at my tip, studying it as it stood proudly in front of her. It pointed straight ahead, and her position shifted slightly as she got closer. My shaft settled between her breasts, and I could feel her skin for the first time - warm, soft, but textured. There was a texture of something akin to permanent goosebumps, and her skin was... oily? I vaguely remember noticing this all in another dream, but now I could really feel it. The sensation was amazing as she cupped her large, engorged (they really were quite swollen-seeming) breasts together, wrapping them around my shaft. My tip was just exposed, and she opened her mouth enough to allow a couple tentacles to come out and wrap around the tip, writhing around it as she began to stroke my cock with her big, soft tits.

I was in heaven.

As more precum leaked out, she allowed her tentacles to lap it up and return to her mouth, and she pushed those soft globes around me tighter, and the strokes were longer, now completely engulfing my hard member. As she squeezed, a sort of milk began to leak out. As gravity apparently didn't really exist in this dreamscape, the yellow-gold fluid oozed out and covered both of us. The contrast against her blue skin was beautiful, and it was hard to look at anything else.

I felt both helpless, anxious, and yet so incredibly thrilled to have this thing, this woman, using me. The pleasure of her textured breasts sliding up and down as her milk mixed with the other oils she produced made the whole operation an erotic mess. I don't know what the "milk" actually was, but it seemed like it made my cock swell even more. My skin radiated heat wherever the milk was, and it felt as if my balls were becoming more full... I mean, I took sex ed, I know that's not physically what happens. And yet, I swear that was happening in this dream. I could tell I was going to cum soon - she was going to get her wish.

I found that I was unable to vocalize, but she could apparently read my thoughts. As I thought of my impending orgasm, her voice came through my head

feed me

She lowered her head and I watched as her jaw stretched wide again, taking just the tip into her mouth, still stroking me with those big, soft tits covered in her milk. Her tentacles writhed around my tip, and I felt a hand grasp my balls, and squeeze. Not so hard it hurt, but just at that edge. Almost a bit uncomfortable, but also pleasurable enough that my head started to spin.

FEED ME

I came. Not just came, CAME. It felt like I must have emptied my entire body through my cock. Pulse after pulse, my muscles spasming but unable to move. I felt rope after rope after rope of my cum forcefully spray into her pulsating maw. There was such force and such volume that it back-sprayed out of her mouth and landed on her chest, droplets of my white, pearlescent seed mixing with her milk, adding to the mess we were making.

After what felt like a minute of ejaculating into her mouth, my body settled. She took my cock out of her mouth and squeezed her cleavage tight around me as my now softening cock slid through her tits. Just a bit more cum oozed out and with the fresh milk leaking out, made her tits a sticky mess. As she let them go, they separated a bit and strings of cum, milk, oils, and whatever else stretched between each globe. I could feel my cock twitch again, hoping for a round two in this dream as I looked at such a sex-fueled mess covering her. No such luck. She spread the mess across her skin - over her entire breasts, her chest; even down her stomach where I watched a finger slip into the slit where her legs met.

Her eyes never left me, and as my eyes worked their way back up to hers, she winked, and I awoke.

I did wake up incredibly tired, and looking in the mirror I certainly see why Margaret mentioned something. The lack of restful sleep for the last few nights did seem to have an effect. Hopefully I can get some actual sleep, though, I'm conflicted between good sleep and another nocturnal visit.

JOURNAL

Today was a drag. And I don't mean that like people used to say for a "bummer", I mean it felt like it dragged on. I felt so tired, even Margaret commented on it. I told her I hadn't been sleeping well, though of course I didn't want to tell her about my increasingly sexual, perverted dreams about sex with some weird inhuman "woman"; we haven't even gone on a first date yet. Maybe save the weirdness for later.

All day though, I couldn't help but think about the woman in my dreams. The sheer eroticism I felt, even now as I write it. I kept having to find ways to distract myself throughout the day. As soon as I start to think about the dreams, especially last night's, I get incredibly, uncomfortably hard. My cock starts almost pouring precum. Luckily I was wearing black slacks today, no one would notice a small wet spot. I'm now here at home in sweats, and even just writing this... I'm so hard it hurts, and I have a large wet spot that I'll have to take care of. I'm leaking so much, it's like my body is responding so quickly, so intensely, to that woman. That thing. Even just a thought, without her being fully in my mind, is taking a toll. I've tried masturbating to help, but I can't seem to ever make myself cum these last few days. It's like I hit a plateau of pleasure, and I never can get close, no matter how much lube I use, or what porn I watch to try to get me there. I feel like I'm going a bit crazy.

2025.10.30 - Thursday

DREAM

I fucked her this time. Or rather, she fucked me. It was... incredible. There must be a pattern, a reason she keeps appearing to me. Once again I am without ideas as to why I'm visited, or what the end game is. All I know is I can't wait to sleep. As for last night, here are the details:

It initially took me a while to get to sleep. While I indeed felt exhausted, the erotic bliss of the prior night kept replaying in my head and I was too excited to sleep. I kept playing pieces over, like the way she gently, but with intent, wrapped those great tits around me, and the way she squeezed my balls and seemingly triggered me to spray an insane amount of cum down her throat. My cock was hard, and I fell asleep just as I realized I had absentmindedly been stroking myself to the thought of that erotic being, Shctharah.

As my mind shifted to a dream state, I found myself in a bed this time. Not my bed, and I couldn't even really see it, though it felt as though I was on something. The gravity free, floating experience from last time was over. Though, I still couldn't move. I was face up, naked. My arms and legs spread. I looked around, and at first didn't see her. Then she materialized and walked to me. She seemed intent, judging by the look on her face. Her walk matched as she strode towards where I lay; her hips swaying, breasts bouncing just a little with each step. She stepped between my legs, and climbed onto whatever I was laying on, slowly moving up my legs. She was on her hands and knees and stayed low, her tentacles allowed out just enough to drag and wriggle slightly on my cock as her head passed. Her tits dragging slightly as they moved over my legs, one engorged breast on either side of my cock. She was leaking just a bit of milk again, and the yellow-white fluid was hot and viscous as she left a trail up to my chest.

She sat on my hips and dragged her claws against the skin of my chest, dragging them a bit through the milk left behind. Once again, my mind was wrestling with incredible lust on one hand, and the sheer terror of such a being having me trapped against my will without knowing what was to come. Admittedly though, the terror-borne instinct to escape was less intense than the night before, and was almost more of a suggestion to be considered more than a demand to be heeded.

She put her hands on my chest, her shoulders pitching inward to squeeze together those beautiful milkers, putting on a show as the fluid continued to ooze from her. She ground against my hips and I could feel the soft, wet, and hot sex of her sliding against me, against my cock. I was of course hard as a rock at this point, and try as I might I couldn't get my hips to push up into her. She seemed to know my thoughts, and I watched her as she slid back and forth against me, her hot snatch lubricating my cock, getting it ready. Each time she ran along my length, she teased my tip against her hole. I could feel as I almost slipped into her multiple times, but each time she smiled and moved her hips in just such a way as to keep teasing me.

Apparently I was able to vocalize, at least a bit, this time. I couldn't help but let out a small whimper as my mind had given way fully to lust, and I thought of nothing but being buried inside her. And then... finally.

She shifted her hips and her hole scooped me up, and she slid back onto me. I let out a sigh, and I watched as her eyes closed, relishing the feeling of my tip slowly opening her up, and then the rest of me slowly filling her, spreading her hot pussy. There was a sound from her, almost a purr of sorts. She initially just paused, feeling my hard rod filling her. I could feel her too - there's no other woman I've been with that felt like this. Every pussy is warm. Soft. Inviting. Some women know how to control the muscles, and can sort of flex against you. This... her insides were not warm, but hot. Just on the verge of uncomfortably so. She was wet, but it was a different feeling than any lubricant, natural or commercial, than I've ever felt. It was both incredibly slick, but also incredibly thin. I could feel everything. Every fold in that glorious pussy was made just for me, or so it felt. I could feel the muscles, if they're called that for something like her, not just contracting... rolling, and writhing, and pulling. Trying to pull me in deeper.

She began to grind on me, back and forth. I watched as her wings - which had never moved before - begin to almost "relax", and spread a bit. This brought that feeling of anxious flight back to mind as my view went from simply focused on her to completely engulfed in her, the spread of her wings completely taking over my viewpoint. I saw nothing but her body, her lust, her need. Lust took back over quickly as she rocked her hips back and forth harder and faster. I could feel my rod dragging through her innermost folds of that velvet cave as her purring grew more intense. She leaned forward, her tits mashing against my chest as her face drew close to mine, and she let tentacles out that held my chin steady, so that I was looking into those black eyes of hers, unable to look away.

She never moved her face as her pace changed. She slowed, then rose up. Her pussy continued to clench and pull at my shaft and caress my tip as she lifted her hips until just my tip was in her, paused right at the entrance to her tight hole. Then she slammed herself down, taking my entire length into her, that purring again escaping her. She did this again, and again, each time slightly quickening the tempo. Her wings began to unfold, which I could only see in my periphery. Her eyes still fixated on mine, and mine on hers, as I let out a groan to accompany her purr and she rode my cock as if it was the last one in the universe. Two of the tentacles wound their way up my chin and into my mouth, playing with my tongue and threatening to choke me as I lay there, helpless and used like a toy for this immortal dream-being of pure erotic energy. Her hands still on my chest, I felt her claws dig in slightly as she continued to fuck me. I could feel my orgasm building, and she pushed herself up a bit, her tentacles leaving my mouth, drool and other fluids mixing on my face. Her eyes were growing more wild and her tits swung and bounced, slinging that thick, viscous milk as they did. Again in this dream, my skin was hot where the milk sat, and I found myself more turned on than I've ever been. I suddenly found my hands free to move, albeit slowly and with effort, and I reached up and grabbed a handful of blue tits in each hand. Each one was heavy and full, yet so soft and warm. The milk trickled down my arms as I squeezed harder and harder as she rode me more and more roughly.

She reached back and found my balls as she did the night prior, and squeezed hard again. I cried out in pleasure, and just a bit of pain, as my orgasm caused my muscles to spasm more than ever before. I could feel her tight cunt squeeze and milk my cock as I filled her, more cum than I thought possible to come from any human. I sprayed pulse after pulse into her, and I swear I could see her lower abdomen distend slightly.

All this time I heard a roar in my head, though I'm not sure if it was her or simply blood rushing to my head. Her wings spread wide, her hands released me and went to my hands, squeezing them against her breasts even harder as milk flowed, running down my arms and the underside of her breasts, down her stomach, and mixed with the cum that was now just starting to leak out of her from around the base of my cock.

I could feel her insides continue to milk me, pulling me to keep me inside her when I normally would have slipped out. Only a little cum seeped out the edges, and after a few moments, she lifted herself off of me.

Nothing more came out.

It was as if, even after cumming like a horse, she had absorbed all of it. Like her cunt drew it deeper.

Once again, she relished the mess and smeared it on herself, and even me, over the claw marks she had made.

I looked her in the eyes, and woke up.

JOURNAL

Admittedly this lack of sleep must be doing a number on me. I'm home early, I didn't even write the dream down this morning. My boss told me to go home because I look sick and should go to the doctor. I don't feel sick, just tired. I didn't look at myself in the mirror until I was back home, and I can see why my boss sent me home. On top of it, I noticed small scars where her claws dug in last night. Like, not only did they leave a mark... they had healed already.

I know I ought to get more sleep, actual sleep, but I can't get her out of my head. I have to see her again, I have to find out more. Where did she come from? Why me? What's next? I made sure to get the dream down so that I can study it, and the other dreams, a bit more later after I get some rest.

I guess I'll see if I can ask her these questions I have. She seems to be able to know my thoughts, even when I can't speak. I can ask her tonight, probably. The visits have been more regular. For now, time for a nap. I can barely keep my eyes open. I'll journal more when I wake back up.

11/05/2025

I've been reading through the journal a few times, looking for clues as to what happened. The guy obviously got a bit obsessed about his dreams, but, crazy is as crazy does, right? Though, I have to admit, it's a bit hot. I've had to take care of myself several times at work as I deal with this case - even when going through pictures of the corpse. It's as if something is stoking some new furnace in me.

I will admit, my dreams have been getting a bit odd lately though. I'm sure it's just this case getting to my head, as other cases also can infiltrate my subconscious, no matter how much I try to "leave things at the office".

In the last few dreams this week, there's definitely been a presence. Not threatening, or at least, not entirely so. I can't see it, Or at least, not directly. But there's definitely something sexy about it, something that really makes me want to fuck. I wake up horny, having to take care of myself in the shower before I even really start my day. I've never been affected quite this much.

Perhaps I should start journaling my dreams.