Internal Dialogue of Desire

Vibrator on my clit, I lay here awake. Wondering what will become of me?

I turned it off, but haven't worked up the energy to actually do anything yet. I was so turned on a minute ago, and then I realized how much of a waste of time, effort and energy it was just to get off. And for what?

I write these stories about longing. Being so close, yet so far away. The emotional turmoil inside. It's time to do something different.

To write the sex story I'd want to read. Maybe?

Fingers crossed it's a good one.

I stir awake, half dazed, to the gentle movement of his fingers trailing across my warm skin. Gosh I get so toasty when I sleep. Mmmm, it feels so nice. Up and down, along my stomach, torso, under my breasts. No pattern, just simple, lazy movements.

I wiggle myself against him, closer. My ass pushing up against his thighs. Wiggling further, arching myself up, I find what I'm looking for. His hard cock, waiting just for me. Cuddling up against him, rubbing it, feeling his warmth radiating onto me. Right against my ass.

Mmmm. Happy Saturday.

I close my eyes. Taking it all in. Every single moment. His breath. The feeling of his nails against me. Trimmed and smooth, a slight catch from the one, scratching me just a little.

Reminding myself, over and over, stay in this moment. Let this be enough. No predictions. No anticipations. Be here, now.

Taking a deep breath in. Grounding myself. And just like that, it catches in my throat. Desire. It's happening... I can feel myself getting excited all over again.

He notices, and his arm reaches around to pull me closer. God I've always loved his arms, so does everyone else. So strong, without even trying.

His hand cupping my right breast as his body pushes into mine. His breath in my ear. I can smell his specific smell and it's intoxicating. I could just sink into him. Held like this forever.

I want to soak up every ounce of this moment. Breathe it all in and just stay here, held tight, forever.

Isn't that the dream? To be held, safe and protected. To be loved in a way that allows all your walls to break down. The softness to engulf you in a way that's all consuming and still liberating, all at once.

This is where the desire lives. Where it comes from.

The moments every girl pulls from during her sexual deprivation. Even in the middle of sex.

Tricking herself to feel more safe than she feels.

That he is truly taking care of her.

She tries to pull from the other times he made her feel like this. To relive the moments that took her breath away.

To feel desired and loved deeply at the same time is a gift.

And so,

As she lives in this cave of his body wrapped around her,

She starts to let herself go,

To whatever comes next.

Allowing the deep sensual parts of her to surrender to the experience.

To embrace every single aspect of what she really wants.

To balance the story of his control and her ultimate control, to pure bliss and satisfaction.

Every, single, drop from inside of her.

Release the tap my dear.

It's your time.

So it turns out, it wasn't a sex story that wanted to come out. Surprise surprise.

It was the internal dialogue of the desire process, the reminder to be in the moments as they come.

Hey future me, this week, when you see him, please remember.

Your pleasure is worth your presence.

Be in the moment.

Allow yourself to be held.

And share with him what you want.

I bet he will be happy to give it to you...

i drift off to sleep now, excited about what my next adventure will be.

more to cum...