Full Disclosure Ch. 19

Number 19: Over It

Arriving poolside was markedly different than any other day so far. The sorority girls were gone and their absence fully changed the dynamic. Luc and Melaina sat on side by side lounge chairs and nobody else was anywhere near, given new people hadn't arrived yet and it seemed most were creatures of habit. Their corner was empty.

"Well, this is weird," Elijah said, setting down his backpack and towel on the chair he so often claimed.

"Very weird," Natalie added, compounding on the statement due to both Jessica and Etienne nowhere in sight while their best friends/travel partners were on the loungers. She didn't dare ask; things were so healthy with Elijah and buttons had been pushed all in ultimately good fun. Setting down her things, Natalie turned to Elijah, "Hey I'm gonna get us ahead on drinks, what do you want?"

"Margarita," he responded.

Natalie was quickly in motion over to the bar instead of waiting on lounge service. While waiting in the short line, she looked around the area. The travel days had proven to feel lighter than others, and this one was no different. Until the boat came this evening to shift the dynamic in a different direction, it felt a lot like limbo: fewer people, a lot less noise. Considering it, it felt like waves. There would be a big powerful push tonight and tomorrow of excitement over new people and new experiences that would taper each day until the next ferry day.

They'd be on that next ferry this time. Was she ready?

She didn't think so. She was largely done here. It had been thrilling. Truly a once in a lifetime. She had not been with her husband in this way for at least three years, maybe more, and that was a huge deal. The point had been to find out. She'd learned they still had chemistry. They still enjoyed the same things. They still had love and the ability to please one another without questions.

But finding out?

She was finding out that if leaving here meant making a decision, she did not have that answer yet. She was perhaps close, but the necessity to make it in the next two days felt so daunting that it physically ached. A weight was collapsing on her and the pain of anticipating the end was extraordinary.

Drinks in hand, she returned to their little corner of the world and found Vincent and crew had joined, which had only happened once before and was a welcome addition today, adding some life to an otherwise dead afternoon.

"Christ, I forget how hot your wife is until she's in view," she heard Vincent say under his breath to Elijah, which was flattering.

She handed over his drink and gave him a kiss, aware of Vincent's eyes locked on her. "Hello Vincent," she drawled, giving him a little wave with her now free hand before sitting down and beginning to remove her coverup.

Jessica rounded the bend of the pool and tossed down her day bag on a chair at the table. Natalie kept her eyes aimed in her direction behind sunglasses while rummaging in her bag for sunscreen. Still no Etienne, so at least they hadn't been together.

"Late night, Jess?" Mariana asked her.

Jessica eyed Natalie. "Not as late as it should have been," she grumbled.

"Nights get later the longer you're here though," Vincent called out, oblivious of the storm that was brewing. "Wasn't even awake until two today."

"It is weird how that happens, right?" Amber noted, talking to the other girls in Vincent's crowd of friends.

"Remember when we first got here? Asleep by like eleven," Daisy agreed with a laugh.

"Are you okay?" Mariana asked, sitting more upright on the lounger closest to the table where Jessica was shuffling around in her bag.

Jessica halted, shaking her head. "It's so fucked up," she said quietly, though Natalie could clearly hear every word. She slumped down on the chair and made no attempt to hide the glare she was shooting Natalie's way. "Just everything is going wrong and I can't even talk about it here."

"Do you want to go somewhere?" Mariana probed, concerned for her friend.

Natalie'd had enough and quickly rose. "Yeah, Jessica," she asked pointedly. "Do you want to go somewhere?"

Jessica stood upright and put a hand on her hip. "What, are you trying to fight me now?"

A laugh burst from Natalie, but she quickly reined it in. "Uhm, no," she clarified. "Do you want to go somewhere and talk?"

"I have absolutely nothing to say to you," Jessica declared, folding her arms over her chest.

"You good?" Elijah asked Natalie under his breath.

"Hear that?" Jessica called. "Your husband is trying to talk to you."

"Ooookay," Natalie drawled, putting her feet into motion and waving off Elijah. "We're gonna go talk," she told Jessica as she approached her. She could hear the girls by Vincent asking what the fuck was happening. The peanut gallery.

"Why do you think I would want to talk to you?" Jessica shrieked.

Natalie rolled her eyes. "Because I'm an adult who is doing the adult thing," she sighed. Overenunciating her words, she continued: "And I hope you can be an adult and come speak to me away from--" She'd started to say 'our friends' but that wasn't really the truth of it. It was just the group of people they tangentially knew because everyone was hooking up in some way or another. "--whatever all this is," she decided on, waving a vague hand through the air.

"Away from your husband," she argued, as though clarifying something that had gone missing.

Natalie mashed her lips together; she'd completely had it. "Let's go talk," she said.

With that she put her feet in motion, not really having a plan on where to go, but this was getting ridiculous. She knew Jessica would follow her if she walked away; Jessica was aching for a fight, and while it seemed she wanted it to be more public than Natalie wanted, she wasn't about to just give in and let Natalie walk away.

Sure enough, Jessica was behind her and Natalie entered one of the boardwalk trails that connected the resort's buildings and pools and beaches. Along them were little peel-out areas that held benches for a moderate amount of privacy off the path. She stopped at the first one and gave Jessica the right of way to choose a place to sit or stand.

Jessica chose to stand.

Inhaling a deep breath, Natalie placed her hands on the back of her hips, not fully certain what she hoped to accomplish, but something had to be said. "Look," she began. "Last night was obviously really awkward, and I get that you hate me for whatever reason--"

"Pshh," Jessica blew out.

"But I want to try and at least become tolerable on these last few days--"

"Whatever reason?" Jessica demanded, cutting Natalie short. "Is this a fucking joke?"

Natalie reared her head back. She didn't like Jessica solely because Etienne had slept with her, so it was fair Jessica might feel the same. But they didn't know each other, so this level of vitriol was catching her by surprise. "No...?" Natalie drawled.

Jessica looked on the verge of a breakdown. She pointed at her chest, muscles tightened. "I... I had him!" she exploded. "We met like ten days ago at that themed night of Angels or whatever, and I had him! Mariana hooked up with Luc and I had him, and it was perfect because it was two best friends with two best friends. And I don't know what fucking happened, but you came along and--"

"Came along!?" Natalie choked. It had truly been the other way around. "I was at the club that night and I didn't just come along, we had been talking all day."

"Whatever!" Jessica spat. "I was still with him that night. He chose me. Probably because, News Flash," this said as she waved her hand in the air to illustrate a headline, "You are married! What the fuck are you doing sleeping around with singles as a married woman?!"

Natalie couldn't believe this was happening. "Ohhh, I see," she sang sarcastically. "You're passing judgement here. I'm just owned by a man."

"Yes!" Jessica cried. "Yes! You made that decision when you got married! So why the fuck are you stealing a single guy away from a single girl at an island resort!?"

Natalie inhaled deeply. Exhaled for calm. Inhaled once more as she found it difficult to find. "Jessica, you have no clue what you're talking about," she stated firmly. Calmly. Hoping she would listen. Doubted she would. Figured she'd just made everything so much worse.

"I don't?" Jessica asked, matching Natalie's calmer demeanor at least, though she still appeared frantic in her gestures. "Then explain it to me because all I see is..." A long pause as she gestured out to where they'd come from. "What I see is objectively the hottest man at this whole resort--like, I don't think you have a clue how the girls talk about him--and you are married to him. Elijah is every girls dream husband. And what do you do? You... this like... effortlessly beautiful woman who doesn't even have to try... you have that man and go after the one single guy I fell for on my expensive vacation. I had him and you took him away!"

It was a lot to unpack. And to take a moment to do so, Natalie sat down feeling the familiar weight of all their decisions collapsing on her. Jessica was obviously wrong in so many things, but Natalie didn't think she would ever hear otherwise. She could be told otherwise, but she wouldn't receive it. She wouldn't understand.

She wouldn't know that hot does not equate perfect husband. That dream husband doesn't equate happy marriage. It was something no one could understand until they'd spent years with a person and tried to navigate the slumps and the arguments. The let downs. Interspersed with moments of extreme happiness and joy, just enough to skate by to the next disaster. And between the disasters? Complacency.

"I didn't take him," Natalie sighed, wiping a hand down her face and peering up at Jessica. "If you couldn't secure him, it would have been someone else. And I realize how insulting that sounds, but the fact is: you can't own a person. You can try, but it will always fail. I don't know what you had that night, or any of the nights since that he wasn't with me or someone else. That could have been one of the best nights of your life, but your perception isn't always a reflection of your partners. Believe me when I say I know this more than anyone. You 'having him' was not how he felt about you, or it would be exactly as you said: you'd have him."

Jessica opened her mouth to speak. Closed it, then opened it again. "You are so fucking arrogant," she finally said. But she sat down on the other bench when she could have stormed off at that. She was willing to talk, which bumped up Natalie's opinion of her the smallest notch.

"Maybe," Natalie said, exhausted by... not just this. Everything. So many things. So much of life. "I'm not trying to be," she continued honestly, her tone open and straightforward. "I don't know how old you are... we're close to the same age?"

"I'm twenty-five," Jessica said.

"Okay, so close," Natalie said. "I'm twenty-seven, and I've been married four years," she told her. "I was married too early, and I married Elijah after we'd been together since my freshman year of college. We always had an open relationship while dating, and even after we were married, we had threesomes, so we are not some exclusive married couple. Just out of the gate, you need to know that because I think you have this opinion of my marriage that I'm like... cheating on him. I am not."

Jessica shook her head. "I know that," she sighed. "I don't get it. If I was married, I couldn't ever do that. Especially if I was married to him."

"Maybe," Natalie responded. "But maybe not. You might be surprised what you allow or, forget what you allow--what you like. It was kinda hot when we were dating hooking up with other people. Plus I was away in France, then he was off at law school--so we opened things up and we were so happy. But that happiness didn't translate over to our marriage." Jessica met her eyes, seemingly surprised. She was receiving. Another notch earned in Natalie's respect post. "He's beautiful and I love him. He's funny. People respect him. He's got a great job. The sex would shock you... it's outstanding. And yet for some reason, we are both miserable in our marriage. It doesn't make any sense! Like how you can have all the things you thought were so perfect--and they're all there, and you're still miserable!"

This the first time she had voiced such a question. The full truth, out loud to a girl she didn't like. The profundity of it was suddenly clear as she stared into the nether. She was talking to herself by proxy. It felt shocking and illuminating all in one go.

"I don't know what's broken in me, or in him, or in us combined," she continued. "But we chose this place to do all the things we used to do when we were happy all those years ago. To try and reclaim what's missing so we can redirect when we get back home." She shook herself out of it, needing to end the trauma dumping on this virtual stranger. "None of that matters, other than to say: it is more complicated than you believe it to be. The rings we wear are not ownership, and Elijah would tell you the same. He knows I've been with Etienne, so you're not sounding some alarms that are going to drive me away or return Etienne to you. Because nobody owns anyone, here or otherwise."

Jessica gave a begrudging harrumph. She was still pissed, that was clear as day. But she'd heard, and now maybe she'd stop with the bullshit. Etienne would really need to talk to her, as Natalie had done all she could.

"But don't you think it's shitty you're wasting his time?" she asked after a long moment.

Natalie blinked. Twice. Felt a pit form in her stomach. "Elijah's?" she asked, more hopeful that was who Jessica meant, even though she knew otherwise.

"Etienne's," Jessica confirmed, peering at her. "He's--" she covered her mouth, seemingly overcome with what she was about to say. "He's just such a great guy. And there aren't that many great guys. Not many who check all the boxes. He's single and on a vacation here, and you're just hooking up with him out of unhappiness or whatever, but he's like... fuck, he's gorgeous and kind and funny and those eyes and you're just wasting his time when he could be with someone he could find a long-term relationship with."

So close. She'd been so close to the nail on the head, but that wasn't it. Etienne was special. Natalie had determined early that if anyone was going to test her marriage, it was him, and she'd been right. She was falling in love with him. And yes, maybe she was wasting his time, though he'd determined that she wasn't the arbiter of his time management.

"You might be here to find a long-term relationship," Natalie told her, enunciating slowly. "But I think you're in the minority. And I don't think Etienne is here for that. And if he was, he wouldn't be spending nights with me. He'd probably have left me last night for you."

Jessica was furious. Embarrassed. Hurt. Knew it was the truth. All these things were easy for Natalie to read across her features as they tightened, and her face turned red. She looked away, trying to hide what Natalie had already discerned.

Without a word, she rose and walked away, leaving Natalie behind. Probably for the best. All things considered though, Natalie felt as though she had done more than her part in this. Jessica had heard what she had to say. And given that final reaction, Jessica had understood the truth of it. How she'd handle herself until Saturday was on her, at this point.

Rising with a sigh, Natalie followed Jessica a minute later. That hadn't gone as well as she'd hoped, but in the end, she didn't feel it was her problem. She'd told Jessica the truth of it to the best she could. All she could do was hope it wouldn't come back to bite her later.

As she rounded the corner to the area their crew had staked out, she saw Jessica and Mariana hurrying away with their belongings. Luc was gesturing towards them with his arms out in a shrug as he called out, "Are you coming back?" and received no answer. He sighed and leaned back, pulling his cap over his face in annoyance.

Elijah was looking to Natalie for answers, but she just shrugged as she sat down in a very: I don't know what to tell you way. Pulled out her sunscreen and finally set to covering her body like she'd intended to before the distractions.

Behind Elijah, two girls she hadn't met had opted for topless; something maybe a quarter of the women at the pool did, but no one in her friend group had done as of yet. They were new to sitting with them, and she leaned forward on the lounger to introduce herself. Learned they were Becca and Chloe, and they were cousins.

Reaching out to grab the lotion from Natalie, Elijah wanted to make a large point that they were together because it dawned on him in that moment: Natalie had no idea about the night in the palapa where he'd been with both of them. And Becca and Chloe certainly didn't know enough about him to know his dynamic with Natalie. It had been a dark night emotionally for him and he shouldn't have done it at all. Further, in the full sunlight, they looked pretty young compared to everyone they'd been associating with. Like even younger than Beth and Leah's twenty-two.

It was a bomb that he did not want to go off, especially given whatever bomb had exploded between Jessica and Natalie that had caused Mariana and Jessica to storm off. Obviously about Etienne, which was why he was giving it absolutely zero interest as to what had happened. His goal was to survive the next two days learning nothing new about the Frenchman.

Natalie pulled her hair up in a clip as Elijah climbed on the lounger behind her to get her back. As he began with her shoulders, he placed a gentle kiss on her neck. Sliding his hands under the back strap of her bikini, he said, "You know, back when we first got here you said you might eventually try topless by the pool."

With a laugh, Natalie glanced at those who were, then picked at her nails. "Well, today's not the day," she sang. She hoped she could lose the bad mood. "I just feel like if I did something like that, I'd try to relax and be too aware they were out."

She was so tense. Whatever happened with Jessica was really getting to her; she was never like this, and he began to massage at a knot, sunscreen momentarily forgotten. "Isn't that kinda the fun of it though?" Elijah asked quietly near her ear. "I mean I can't know what it's like, but I'd think that awareness would feel exciting."

"You're not going to talk me into it," Natalie hummed, her tone at least playful.

"Not trying to," Elijah responded, though that was only a half truth. He did enjoy the idea of her like that. He finished with the lotion but continued to massage her. "You really are tense," he noted, taking a more serious tone.

"This is helping a lot," she said, turning to look at him. He met her for a quick peck. "Thank you."

Elijah massaged her for a solid ten minutes until Vincent, Heath and Jackson rose. "We playing volleyball or what?" Vincent asked Elijah.

"Yup," Elijah said, landing one last kiss on Natalie's shoulder before climbing off the lounger. "You want to come?"

Natalie slid her sunglasses on and laid back in a clear indication that she had no intention of exerting any energy for the rest of the day. And to be fair, she'd said as much. Being sex'ed out wasn't just being over sexed, although that was a lot of it. She was physically wiped out, as well.

Still, she grinned at Elijah, wiggled her fingers and said, "Have fun!"

A few minutes after the men had jumped in the pool to make their way over to the volleyball net, which was around a corner of the pool and mostly behind their nook, she heard one of the girls ask, "So, are you guys hooking up?" and didn't think it applied to her until she heard two of the girls laughing and one say, "They're married, Chloe!"

"What?" the first voice cried, and Natalie glanced over to see one of the topless girls sitting upright and staring at her. "You are married to Elijah?"

Natalie lowered her sunglasses to assess her. She was young, very dark brown shoulder-length hair and petite features; tiny chest and body, short. Sliding the sunglasses back on, she said, "Yup," and closed her eyes once more. Her willingness to engage with anything was nearly zero, with the needle only nudging when directly addressed, and briefly at that.

"Holy shit," she cried, and then repeated while giggling. "Bec, did you hear that? They are married!"

"He is so fucking hot," Becca said. She was the cousin. A bit taller in frame but still very cute, longer dark hair. "Dang, Natalie. What a score!"

The giggling wasn't new to Natalie, but the way it was done plainly told her Elijah had met them prior and had... flirted? Teased? Who knew and she certainly didn't care. "Thanks," she said without opening her eyes.

From there she could hear the girls talking about who they thought was hot and who had hooked up with who. Ashley and Jackson had been swinging, though Luc and Mariana had been exclusive since the night they'd met, just like Terrance had been with Erin. So it did happen; people coming here and finding someone to be with for the duration instead of just having fun with different people.

Natalie sent the lounger flat and rolled over onto her stomach, trying harder now to disengage. And she managed. The voices became background giggles, the men's voices in the background just loud grunts and shit talking.

"Oooh, that guy! The one coming this way," one of the girls shouted, she thought Chloe if she had correctly assigned the voices. "Oh my god, who is that guy! I want him."

"I've seen him around," another one of the girls said. "Natalie, do you know that guy?"

"Nuh uh," Natalie responded, mostly answering no because she didn't want to sit up and look.

"He is beautiful," the first said. "And like... not hot in the way our guys are. He's like a model type beautiful."

There were a ton of agreements, then it suddenly grew quiet, only giggles and shushing, the beautiful man probably walking by as they stared him down and Natalie had to chuckle. To be fair, she'd been there.

She felt some pressure on the lounge chair on either side of her legs, distinctly a person climbing on top--had to be Elijah.

"What the fuck," one of the girls hissed in a drawl of disbelief. Then hands on her shoulder blades giving her a light squeeze.

"Tu m'as manqué toute la journée," she heard the whisper into her ear before a kiss was planted on her neck and she smiled contentedly, feeling the rush of happiness that he still existed. That he was telling her he had missed her all day.

"I've missed you, too," Natalie exhaled. Felt another kiss and couldn't take it, quickly turning over and wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him back.

She heard one of the other girls, she didn't know which, but either Amber or Daisy explaining in hushed voices that she could clearly hear that Natalie and Elijah were poly, which wasn't... well, maybe that was it. She didn't have a term to put on it, and she then heard who she was certain was Chloe say, "How the fuck did she get both Elijah and this guy," and instead of being bothered, she smiled against Etienne's mouth and kissed him deeper. Realizing these girls had been commenting on Etienne, not some random stranger.

"Regardez qui a décidé de se montrer après tout ce drame."

It had come from the only other dude who could speak French here, and he sounded super pissed.

Etienne instantly broke away from the kiss and shifted his weight so he was propped to Natalie's right, facing Luc--who had basically just accused him of showing up after all the drama--while Natalie pulled the back of the lounge chair up.

"Quoi?"

Luc dropped his feet to the ground and shouted in rapid fire French about how nice it must have been to be sleeping the day away while Jessica and Natalie had gotten into a fight, when Etienne cut him off there and looked at Natalie and asked, "Tu t'es battue avec Jessica?"

"Jessica s'est disputée avec moi!" Natalie shot back at him, unequivocally stating that Jessica had the fight with her and not the other way around.

He started to ask her what they fought about but cut himself off mid-sentence to aim at Luc, asking why he would even care if Jessica was fighting with anyone, to which Luc went on a tangent about how Jessica arrived upset then left with Natalie and came back demanding Mariana leave with her, and he had no idea when or if she'd come back at all, all the while Natalie hearing Chloe say, "She speaks French too?" as Luc accused Etienne of not keeping his girls separate enough.

This was when Natalie rose fully, furious, and without raising her voice too much, demanded in French that he not speak of things he didn't know anything about. Because that was grossly unfair to say, though it then had her questioning if Etienne was still hooking up with Jessica on the side, though Etienne put a stop to that line of thought the moment he countered Luc by firmly stating, "Jessica croit que nous sortons ensemble, mais ce n'est pas le cas."

That Jessica believed herself to be in an exclusive relationship with Etienne, which was not the case.

Natalie's distress over everything was steadily rising, and she glanced over at the five girls who were now watching intently like a foreign drama playing out in front of them, unable to understand a word but riveted none the less. She turned back to Luc to say that it sounds like he's mad at her, and she doesn't get why when it was Jessica dragging Mariana away. Luc responded he wasn't upset with her, he was pissed at Etienne for causing drama he wasn't even present for.

"Je suis désolé!" Etienne hollered towards Luc, then much calmer toward Natalie, he repeated in English, "I'm sorry." He touched her cheek, eying her levelly. "I'm sorry, I fell asleep after I had breakfast and I just woke up, I had no idea any of this was happening."

Natalie leaned against the back of the chair, inhaling to find some calm, especially after trying to piece together all the French shouting at that speed. This was not the relaxing afternoon she had hoped for. "It's not your fault," she responded, shaking her head after Etienne's hand brushed down her arm and landed on her stomach. "But Jessica really believes you guys have something."

"We do not," he assured her, tucking his head low with his face inches from hers. Ran his other hand through her hair. "It is only you."

"I know that," Natalie responded. "She was angry, I tried to take it somewhere else and explain to her my side. I either helped it or made it worse--"

"I think you made it worse," Luc stated with a sigh. Natalie glared at him, and Etienne began to rapid-fire curse at him in French until Luc raised his voice. "It is not your fault she wanted to fight. I just miss Mariana. We had plans and now I have no idea where she went."

Natalie turned back to Etienne, peering into his light blue eyes. She raised her hand to his cheek and leaned forward to kiss him. "I am sorry, I probably made it worse. But you need to talk to her alone."

"I will," he promised her. "Do you think I should go now?"

With a chuckle, Natalie pulled the back of his neck so he leaned to her in a much harder kiss. "Don't you dare," she said. "Reste avec moi."

The plea to stay with her went heeded, and after another kiss, Etienne asked if she wanted to take a swim over to the bar. Natalie nodded, watched him rise then took his hand when he went to help her up. She started to follow him, looked over at the other girls who still hadn't said a word--silently staring especially at the two of the newer additions--the topless ones, and--not knowing what came over her, she said, "Oh, hold on."

Reaching around her back, she untied her bikini top and pulled it over her head, tossing it onto the lounge. Etienne's eyes widened as he breathed, "merde," then pulled her close to him, holding both of her hands at their hips with his chest pressed to hers and kissed her while backing her towards the pool a few steps. She nearly tripped and was caught by him, laughing, everyone else forgotten, then turned and dived into the pool.

That evening after Natalie and Etienne had made plans to spend the day and night together on Friday, she ordered in room service and chose a movie with Elijah. And true to their word, they simply cuddled up, allowing the restful coziness of being in each other's arms until they fell asleep around midnight.