Becoming Cassidy

Becoming Cassidy

Note to Readers: This story is based on a Canadian fantasy series called "Being Erica," where the main character gets to go back in time and change the outcomes of her biggest regrets. Season 1, Episode 9 -- "All She Wants" details Erica's relationship with her lesbian best friend Cassidy and how she lost it by freaking out when that friend came on to her. Erica repairs that mistake, but the heartbreaking part of the episode is the "near miss" they have, which might have led to them getting together. Using the same principle, this story looks at Cassidy's chance to make that happen. This is rare for me, as I prefer to create my own characters, but I like how it turned out! Enjoy!

Cassidy Holland sat quietly in the corner of Goblins coffee shop, a place she frequented when in her hometown of Toronto, especially after traveling abroad. Her latest trip to Brazil had been insanely productive for work, but from a social standpoint, not so much. She took a swig of her black coffee, flipping her long straight hair back to keep it from accidentally falling into the cup. It wasn't that she lacked attention; indeed, women almost fell at her feet because of her beautiful face and lean dancer's build, but just a quick fuck wasn't satisfying to her. Cassidy wanted more than that; she wanted connection and intimacy along with passion. She sighed and took another sip of her bitter drink.

Cassidy had come close to that feeling once, a few years ago, with her best friend from college, Erica. They had stayed close over the years, doing just about everything together. Erica was straight, so while their relationship was platonic, that didn't stop her from wanting Erica. She fidgeted, remembering the close call where they had been more than friends. After an evening of clubbing, Erica had unexpectedly kissed Cassidy, and not just once, but several times, bordering on full-on making out, before panicking and leaving for the evening. Damn, that girl could kiss, she thought, running her long index finger over the length of her red lips, savoring the memory. "Fuck!" she whispered, feeling a pang of sadness at what could have been.

Erica's boutique publishing company occupied an office in the back of the picturesque coffee bistro, and they had met here several times to catch up when she was in town. Today, however, her friend was out of town, trying to recruit some authors for their newly-launched fiction division. She was silently cursing as she began to stand up when a slightly older woman sat across from her table. The stranger wore a light blue business suit with a white blouse, and her short cropped hair showed subtle flecks of gray betraying her age. Cassidy guessed she was in her forties, but guessing a person's age had never been one of her many talents. The woman's eyes were striking, the kind that seemed to stare right into someone and lay their secrets bare. The implication made Cassidy nervous, a feeling she seldom experienced.

"Um, can I help you with something?" Cassidy asked, her voice sounding sharp and irritated.

The woman smiled and remained silent for a moment before responding. "Before you even ask, no, you don't know me. I'm Naadia, more like Doctor Naadia," she offered, not explaining what that implied.

Cassidy let out something that sounded like a grunt and chuckle mashed together. "Where's your stethoscope?" she asked, her voice now sounding much more annoyed.

"Never heard that before," Naadia shot back.

Cassidy resumed trying to stand, ready to be done with the unwelcome intrusion. "Whatever, I don't want whatever bullshit you're selling today," she said, her face reddening.

To her surprise, Naadia grabbed her hand and tugged her downward back into her seat. "Sit down. You're going to want to hear this," she said gently.

Cassidy huffed. Whoever this supposed "doctor" was, she was aggressive and insistent, some things that had been said about herself. Well, I've gotta respect that at least, even if it's strange, she thought to herself, finding it ironic that she had just used her friend's name in the process.

"Ok, let's have it, then," she said, crossing her arms defiantly.

Naadia nodded her head, letting go of the younger woman's hand. "Thank you. I'm a therapist--" she began.

Cassidy felt her pulse quicken and her nostrils flare, warning her of the onset of a full-temper moment. "Yeah, nice try, not gonna happen. Already had my share of shrinks when my mother was trying to cast out my gayness. No thanks," she said angrily, ready to jump to her feet yet again.

"Stop acting like a child. Plus, if your gaydar was really accurate, you would have figured out I'm the same way," Naadia said calmly, without so much as raising her voice.

Cassidy was stunned. Normally her instincts were finely-honed and accurate, but maybe being agitated clouded the waters a bit. She let a slight smile creep onto her face and nodded at the doctor. "Ok, now you have my attention. But I still don't think therapy is for me," she said in a much calmer voice.

For the first time, Naadia smiled, admitting to herself that she actually liked the fiery brunette, albeit in a platonic way. "Well, the way it usually works is catching someone at rock bottom and helping them get their lives back on track. What I'm proposing is more of a do-over, one time only," she explained.

Cassidy felt her eyebrows arch upwards, indicating both confusion and surprise on her part. She assumed that the woman was delusional on some level, but her calm and reserved demeanor went against that impression. None of what she was saying made the least bit of sense. "A do-over? I'm not following."

Naadia's piercing blue eyes bored right into those of the slim brunette. "Sure you do. Just before I came up, you were thinking about your almost-moment with your friend Erica. It's a deep-seated regret; I can see that easily. There's no shame in admitting it," she said with a sigh.

Cassidy felt a deep chill ripple up her spine, because yes, she had indeed been thinking about that very thing when this strange woman walked up. But how on earth would she know that?

"I don't know what the hell this is all about, but you are creepy, that's for sure."

Naadia almost laughed, remembering a time when she had felt the same feeling when Doctor Arthur had originally approached her with the same proposition. Well, not exactly, but close enough. "Just humor me. What's the harm?" she asked, voice still steady.

"Ok, I'll play along, if for no other reason than to end whatever this is supposed to be," Cassidy responded.

Naadia straightened up, folding her hands in her lap. "So, your friend Erica. You got close, and it frightened her, because she is straight. You wanted more. Am I right?" she asked.

Cassidy found the statement both humorous and creepy, but smiled despite herself in a toothy grin. "Yeah, that's right. I told her I had feelings for her, and she kissed me. Not for long, but enough to get the sense she felt some kind of attraction back. And yes, it was one hell of a close-call moment. Erica and I started kissing later, but she freaked out, which I should have expected," she said slowly, the memory still stinging a bit.

"Perhaps, but what actually derailed your almost moment? Just her reaction?"

Cassidy leaned her head to one side as she looked upwards, recalling the details. "Come to think of it, yes, there was more at play. She did say it was moving too fast, but it was her friend Ethan who burst back in with no warning, something about his keys," she said in a quiet tone, meeting Naadia's gaze again.

"So hypothetically, if you had that to do all over again, what would you do differently? Just in that moment?" the therapist asked, her lips pursed, sounding clinical.

The young brunette sighed, knowing that she had gone over that entire event in her mind and picked it apart, analyzing everything, and rethinking how it could have gone. Well, apart from her private personal fantasies, where things never came screeching to a halt. "If you somehow magically know about it to begin with, you already know the answer. But I'll say it anyway. First, and most importantly, I'd have made sure no one else walked in on us. That was the deal breaker for sure. Second, I would have taken things way more slowly. I think my passion got the best of me." Cassidy replied thoughtfully.

Naadia nodded, repressing a smile. "Sounds like you have been giving this a lot of thought over the years, of course, in your private thoughts," she said, commenting on Cassidy's answer.

The word private rang through Cassidy's mind, triggering an immediate, strong defensive feeling within her. "Private, yeah, exactly, so why the hell are you asking me at all? Why do you even care?" she snapped.

Always unflappable, Naadia leaned forward, almost whispering, saying, "Let's just say I've had my fair share of confused straight girls in my younger years. I think you had a genuine opportunity in your case, and thought you deserved... another shot. A real shot."

Cassidy felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, realizing that this strange older woman shared the same sexual orientation as her, and no doubt had faced similar disappointments. "Well, that's how it goes, right? Nothing I can do to change it now anyway," she said dryly.

Naadia let a slight smile appear on her otherwise dispassionate expression. Leaning forward, she asked, "If you could have a ' do-over ' of sorts, would you take it? Or do you just want to let this all go?"

Cassidy froze, something that almost neverhappened; she was always certain, even to a fault, and emotionally bulletproof. Sure, she had relived those disappointing moments more than she would care to admit, but this strange woman was clearly nuts. 'What the hell, there's no harm in humoring her; then maybe she'll go away', she thought.

Cassidy chuckled with a bemused voice, saying, "Absolutely... I've had some deals at work go sideways and wish I could do things differently. So... yeah!"

Naadia nodded, her deadpan expression unchanged, and slowly rose to her feet. "All right then."

Cassidy's eyebrows furrowed with profound confusion. Had this all been some sort of practical joke? Naadia silently turned and walked out of the coffee shop without saying a word, prompting Cassidy to angrily follow her. Once outside, the strange woman was nowhere to be found. "Shit... I guess all the crazies find me," she said, turning to head home. Her mind still swirling from the whole bizarre encounter with whoever Naadia was, Cassidy undressed and slipped into bed.

Cassidy's dreams were vivid and frenetic, particularly when Erica appeared in them. They had kissed once... well... Erica had kissed her, not by trickery or dominance, but out of sheer curiosity. The two of them had gone clubbing, dancing and having an amazing time, and when two men started low-key stalking them, Cassidy had sweet-talked her straight friend into dancing closer to her, giving the impression that they were a couple. And it worked. Their unwelcome intruders made themselves scarce, but Cassidy kept up the sensual dancing, even trying to get Erica to grab her ass, sadly without success.

Back at her apartment that night, Cassidy was shocked, or rather pleasantly surprised, when Erica, yes, straighter-than-straight Erica, initiated a kiss. It felt fucking amazing. Not a casual peck or a quick noncommittal joining of the lips... this was a full-on, passionate, girl-on-girl kiss that left both of them breathless, and even the beginnings of something more. Regrettably, a few moments into it, Erica panicked and broke the kiss, and left soon after. Cassidy had sat in the same spot on the floor for at least thirty minutes, trying to calm herself and desperately clinging to the heat of the moment. Erica had actually felt something, something powerful, real, intimate, and undeniably lesbian.

Cassidy startled awake, her body tense and intense heat between her legs, aroused in a way she had not felt in years. Sure, she was passionate and loved sex, but this was different. To her surprise, feelings Cassidy had locked away and walled off came flooding back, with such intensity that she almost forgot to breathe. She felt fire inside, not just sexual passion, but something even more dangerous: love. Not "oh hey I love that dress," or the "I love you's" of friends and family, but through-and-through, body and soul, head over heels love. Love for Erica. Her person. Cassidy put on the hardened emotional armor of a warrior queen outwardly, but this cut deep and dredged up the mourning, pain, and loss of something she deeply craved but would ultimately never be able to have.

Less than a split-second later, Cassidy brought her nearly impenetrable emotional walls up again, silently cursing the crazy stranger that had the nerve to dredge all of it up again. "Damn you crazy bitch," she breathed out as sleep claimed her only moments later.

Sunlight streamed through the windows the next morning, waking Cassidy against her will. The emotions of the previous evening started bubbling back up, but she squashed them quickly. Slowly sitting up, she peered around, feeling that something wasn't right. Or more like something was quite wrong. Her room had been rearranged. Not just where everything was, but the furniture was different too. It seemed familiar, just... wrong. "What the actual hell?" she groaned out. It's not like she's gotten drunk or gone home with someone, so none of it made any sense.

Cassidy still got the nagging sense that everything was familiar, and yet a shock to her senses, so she grabbed her phone hoping to make sense of it all. However, her top-of-the-line smartphone was nowhere in sight; instead, a Nokia 3210 sat by her bedside table, a phone literally no one used anymore. "Fuck... can this day get any weirder?" she muttered, finally getting to her feet.

The creepy feeling Cassidy had been feeling since she first opened her eyes hadn't gone away, and her brain hurt trying to reconcile what she was seeing versus what she remembered from the previous day. As she trudged into the kitchen, a necklace caught her eye, a 24-carat gold chain with an engraved heart attached to it, a gift from her grandmother when she was a little girl. Cassidy had lost it during one of her many moves over the years and was exhilarated to find it sitting just a foot away from where she was standing.

Cassidy took a beat, and then two, before slowly realizing this was the cramped apartment she had lived in during the late 1990's. Once that piece of the puzzle fit into her mind, everything clicked into perfect clarity. She had lived here, but moved within months of the new year starting... the magical year 2000, when all of the digital world was supposed to crash and burn. But how on earth was this even possible? She chuckled, muttering, "Yeah, Y2K my ass."

Cassidy felt the word Y2K suddenly hit her like a runaway freight train. Yes, Y2K, the day that closed off any possibility of anything happening with her very best friend. The day of her heartbreak, of the pain that never healed, and that she had tried to fill with meaningless relationships that never filled the void, which she only just now realized. The day from hell. Suddenly the seemingly insane words of Dr. Naadia tickled her mind, with the impossible promise of a "do-over," where something wrong could be made right. A moment later, her inner skeptic emerged and dismissed it all as the ravings of yet another lunatic.

Something that was very real and believable was the growling in her stomach demanding food, so she breezed into the kitchen and started rifling through the cupboards, finding empty boxes that she hadn't bothered to throw away. Expired milk in the refrigerator made matters worse. "Damn, I was such an idiot back then," she said before reminding herself that simply was not possible.

Cassidy threw on jeans and a T-shirt, grabbed her museum piece of a phone and a purse that made her fashion sense burst into flames. But she needed to eat, and if the neighborhood was anything like she remembered, there was a quaint diner half a block down the street that served the best breakfast within five kilometers.

Breakfast was on an old china plate in her booth within minutes of ordering, and Cassidy was feeling a bit more settled. She still couldn't find any kind of rational explanation for all of this, though the thought it was all a dream seemed to work for her mentally. Ok, so it's a dream, right? Ok, might as well follow it all through and if there's a happy ending, at least that's something. I just hope I remember it when I wake up.

Almost on cue, Cassidy's un-smart phone started ringing, making her wonder what it was any good for since it didn't have Internet access or any apps to speak of. At least caller ID worked and displayed the name Erica, causing her to stop mid-bite. Do I dare answer it? Do I say something stupid like, 'Hey, I'm from the future?' Reluctantly, she pressed the button to answer and put the phone to her ear.

"Hey," she uttered, unsure of what she should actually say.

"Hey you! Hope I didn't wake you!" Erica's voice came through the phone, uncharacteristically melodic and bright.

Cassidy giggled... yes giggled, something quite unlike her. "Nope, been up for a bit, at Irma's Diner down the street from my place."

"Yeah, been there with you many, many times. Good food. Better service; Irma is like the Gentile grandma I never had. Still coming over to help me set up for the party? Plenty of booze here already; if the world is gonna end, might as well do it with a good buzz!"

Y2K, there it was again. Well, if this is a dream and if I can change how things went, maybe at least I can live it out somehow. In a hopeful tone, Cassidy answered, "Are you kidding? Absolutely. I want to be with my best friend when the world goes to shit. And hey, maybe I can get a midnight kiss from you... just kidding, I promise. I'll be over soon, ok?"

"Great! See you then!"

As Cassidy got in her car, she checked her face in the mirror, suddenly noticing how much younger she looked, and shrugged, as if it was something that the weird fantasy dream owed her or something. Twenty minutes later, she stood in front of the door to Erica's apartment, which looked exactly as she remembered, and found her hand shaking as she knocked.

Erica's face was beaming as she dragged Cassidy inside, giving her a big bear hug, totally oblivious to how her breasts tantalizingly pressed into her own. "Gawd, I'm so glad you're here. You remember Ethan, right?" she asked, reintroducing her best male friend on the planet, though to Cassidy he represented the first derailment of the night in her memory. The three of them exchanged pleasantries, and a moment later Ethan made his move towards the door.

Oh shit, his keys! That's where this whole damn thing started going off the rails! Cassidy almost jumped over the couch to grab Ethan's keys, which were sitting lazily... and annoyingly... on the bar near the kitchen. Snatching them up with one hand, she tossed them towards him, saying, "Catch! Won't get far without them!"

Both Erica and Ethan laughed out loud at the spectacle, impressed with her speed and agility. A grin spreading across his boyish face, Ethan held them up like a prize. "Thanks! I think I'd forget my head if it was attached to me!" he said, vanishing a moment later.

Cassidy tried to make her walk to the door look relaxed and natural, but inwardly she was a nervous wreck. If this was indeed real in any way, this would completely eliminate the possibility of Ethan barging in on them later, when and if anything happened. As she clicked the lock shut, she caught sight of Erica's questioning expression across the room. In a natural voice, Cassidy explained, "Hey, we don't want uninvited guests or any of the crazies already going nuts over Y2K, right?"

Erica broke into her million-dollar signature smile in response, saying, "Oh, you bet, plus there are a couple of guys on the floor that randomly walk in too. Wow, good call!"

Cassidy found her hands shaking, partly because of her own anxiety and even more the frenetic nervousness coming off Erica in waves. Her friend was chattering away about the kiss from the previous evening and not wanting to make their relationship weird, but knew it was a response to the fact that she had liked the kiss.

Keep your cool, Cassidy, you scared the shit out of her last time by moving too fast. Slow moves. Lots of reassurance. Put Erica at ease, number one job right now, ok? Cassidy took slow, measured steps towards Erica, making eye contact, step by step until their noses almost touched. Then, without making a single sound, she leaned in and let her lips make contact.

Oh my gawd, I forgot how this felt, how she felt, how her lips tasted. This was the moment I really and truly fell in love with her. Though maddeningly nervous, Erica's lips relaxed against Cassidy's, as if remembering the kiss from the night before, like a dance she knew the tune of. No tongue. No roaming hands. No words. Just lips on lips. Soft lips. Girl lips.

Erica felt like her lips were on fire, that no kiss ever before this one was ever as good. Cassidy was kissing her, like really kissing her, not as a friend but like a lover. And it felt so good, and perfect, and on some level she sensed it. Love. Deep, passionate, you-are-the-one-for-me love. While her mind was wrestling with the fact that she was kissing a lesbian, her heart was ablaze. This was intimate. The connection was deep, beyond anything she thought possible. Slowly, the alarm bells in her head faded away to nothing, and she was simply desperate to hold to what she was feeling.

Cassidy didn't vary anything she was doing as she kissed Erica, careful to keep it consistent to avoid triggering any gay panic for her. Truthfully, this was the longest she had kissed without progressing things with a partner, but it all felt so profoundly sweet and satisfying that nothing more was needed. Two lovers tasting one another's lips and mouths. No tongues, no caresses, just lips making love. One thing she had decided long before was that Erica would signal if she wanted something more. If she wanted something more. But this felt profoundly satisfying in and of itself. Two souls dancing. Two hearts beating together.

Erica felt urges that were familiar enough when kissing men, the growing need for more, something that usually got drowned out by an uninvited tongue trying to force its way into her mouth. Dominance. Wanting to take. To possess. She shivered, realizing this was one of the few times she could remember that her desires emerged on their own. Cassidy didn't feel like a predator wanting to dominate or possess her, but strangely like an equal on the same footing. That thought alone made Erica's lips itch, craving something more, prompting her to part them ever so slightly.

Cassidy felt the motion of Erica's lips, nearly forgetting to breathe as the subtle movement shouted to her. Erica wanted her, wanted more, and was telling her so. Still fighting her own powerful desires, Cassidy slid her tongue to the border of her own lips, parting just enough to tickle the edge of her sexy friend's mouth, a nonverbal tease, or more like a nonverbal please.

Erica felt an overwhelming need to express herself verbally, which her previous lovers either loved or hated, making her try to choke out the moan she was holding back. But she wanted Cassidy to know, to signal yes to what she very politely proposed. Oh yes, yes Cassidy, please.... Right then she released the unbidden moan, which was a lot louder than she expected, almost making her die of embarrassment, but Cassidy's echoed moan reassured her, making her part her own lips. It reminded Erica of the moment when a lover would push her legs apart, but the empowerment of doing it of her own volition made it infinitely sexier. Her choice, not someone else's.

Cassidy almost hyperventilated at the realization that Erica was responding to her advances, and not just responding, but inviting. Surrendering her mouth. Inviting her in. Her very straight friend. The invitation alone crossed a definite sexual line for her. Cassidy touched her parted lips with the briefest brush of her own tongue. Then again. And again. Finally, tracing Erica's barely parted lips around the entire inside surface of her mouth. Then pausing at the boundary, waiting for permission. Honoring her boundary, but desperately hoping to cross it. Years of regret had made her self-control in the moment possible. Another soft moan. Finally sliding inside, bit by bit, inch by inch, not claiming but worshipping. Until all the way inside, but not seeking out Erica's tongue. Waiting.

Erica had never simply kissed someone like this, or this long before. How much time had passed? Ten minutes? Twenty? Thirty? Honestly, it didn't matter; this felt so perfect no words could define it. She wanted to feel her lover's tongue with hers. A girl's tongue. Cassidy's tongue. Needing to surrender her own. She tentatively probed forward, unsure but hungry, until the two wriggling members touched and then engaged fully.

Cassidy melted, feeling Erica's tongue touch hers, scared at first, then sliding alongside, and then tangling together like a wet erotic dance. Now both women moan in unison, pulling one another's bodies together, breasts pressing, nipples rubbing, and the heat between one another's legs whispering salaciously to each other. It felt romantic, sexual, and erotic all at once. They engaged fully now; their mouths and tongues danced sensually and powerfully.

Erica let out more moans, so aroused that all other fears and concerns melted away like the spring erasing a final snowfall. Her mouth tastes... sweet... wow it's so sexy. Her body is so soft against mine. I feel her heat; it's telling me how much she wants me. I want her too. I was so terrified before, but I had no idea how amazing this would feel, especially with her. My lover.

Cassidy reluctantly pulled back, looking Erica in the eyes, pleased to see fire in them, desire that she knew was for her. Her straight friend, who was already several steps into the journey that would end that forever. Feeling privileged and honored to be the one to show it all to her. Cassidy had eagerly seduced straight girls in the past for the sheer erotic thrill it gave her, but this was different because she dearly loved this girl. What she wanted mattered. She mattered.

Cassidy made sure her voice was no louder than a whisper, still aware of the fragility of what was happening between them. "Hey... you ok? Is this ok?"

"Yes... my gawd, Cass... this feels incredible. I had no idea. But the kiss last night did give me a... glimpse."

"I'm glad, but hey, what you want matters more than anything. I told you a long time ago that I've wanted you the second we met. But if you want to stop, that matters more than just what I want."

"T... thanks... and it's ok, hell, it's way more than ok."

"Can I kiss your neck?"

Cassidy's question hung in the air for a moment, and she could see the wheels turning in her lover's head, but unsure what exactly she was considering. She asked again, "Can I kiss your neck? Is that ok?"

Erica smiled, which turned into an almost silly grin, making them both giggle like schoolgirls. "Yes... I wasn't deciding if I wanted you to or not; I just know the... effect it has on me. I wanted to be ready for that. Neck kisses are like OMG YES to me," she replied, still in a whisper.

Cassidy smiled and leaned in to plant a kiss just under Erica's ear, a spot that she found was ultra-sensitive on most women and that men were oblivious to. Erica squealed, the sensation catching her off guard, but then leaned her head to one side to expose more of her neck to Cassidy.

As her lips brushed and kissed Erica's neck near her pulse point, Cassidy whispered, "I have wanted you forever, very very much and very badly. You're so incredibly beautiful inside and out. Every inch of you."

Erica gasped and arched her back; she hadn't been joking about the effect of neck kisses on her body, but the addition of whispers had her feeling fire between her legs. "Ohhhhh you're getting me so worked up... so turned on..."

Cassidy felt a thrill rip through her, making her take a split second to catch her breath at Erica's admission of being aroused. Pride and affection made her heart flutter, spurring her on to do more. She allowed her kisses to get wetter and more passionate but without losing control of herself. "You smell so good... taste... so good..." she said in a rushed breath.

She continued the passionate neck kissing, finally feeling the urge to nibble and suck as well. "Can I... nibble your neck? Suck on it?"

"Will it leave marks? Like a hickey?"

"Maybe, I can try to be gentle."

"No, just do it... sounds sexy."

With that, Cassidy's lips latched onto Erica's sensitive neck, making a long guttural moan escape her lips, laced with Cassidy's name. Oh fuck, she said my name, moaned my name, I think I'm gonna lose my mind!

Erica felt the pressure and sensations of Cassidy's lips, surprised at how erotic such a simple act felt, and even more surprised at the strange thoughts that bubbled up in response. Oh damn, that feels amazing; she's so fucking good at that. Ohhhhhh how would that feel in other places? On my breasts, sucking them? Wow, where did that thought come from? Still sounds so hot. What about on my pussy? Should I even be thinking that? I can't stop thinking about that now; it's been ages since someone went down on me that was any good. Oh, I'm in trouble...

"Still good?"

"Oh yes, yes, yes, VERY good, gonna be honest, starting to feel and think strange things. Things I never have before."

Cassidy giggled and then continued leaving sexy marks on Erica's neck. "Oh yeah? Tell me, no judgment, no pressure."

Erica hesitated, but the heat erupting from her pussy was in control of her mouth now. "Your... lips.... mouth in... other... places," she said, almost in a hiss.

"What places?"

"Sexy places."

"What... sexy places...?"

Erica felt more than curiosity now; she felt desire, a desperate urge to be consumed, making her hands work on their own, unzipping her hoodie and exposing her breasts, held in place by a sexy black lace bra. "P... please," she said, her tone bordering on begging.

"Ok, but tell me where. Be specific. Use your words. I want to hear them."

"M... my breasts... please."

Cassidy grinned devilishly as she looked into Erica's eyes, seeing an expression somewhere between desire and fear. Did she want her lips all over those breasts? Yes, no question, but not at the expense of her well-being. "Hey, I was being playful; sorry if it was too much. I want to. But I want YOU to want me to," she whispered, choking the I love you that had nearly come out as well.

"Yes. Please. I... do," Erica nodded, almost eagerly.

Cassidy started at the last bright red spot she had made on Erica's neck, humming gently as she kissed down to her collarbone. At first she didn't even realize she was humming, but it felt right, so she didn't stop; maybe on some level it was to comfort and soothe Erica. Soon lips traveled lower, bit by bit, tasting the other woman's skin as if savoring her. She paused at the start of the deep valley of Erica's breasts, marveling at their fullness and beauty. Her own breasts were on the smaller side, but Erica's were perfect and gave her a tinge of envy.

"So beautiful."

Erica sighed deeply as Cassidy's lips kissed her cleavage and her tongue teased the valley a bit, inching lower and taking her time until she nuzzled deep between them. "Can I?" Cassidy asked, feeling another frantic nod in response.

Cassidy unhooked Erica's gorgeous lace bra and held it in place as she eased it down her arms before discarding it. Without a word, she eased her lips forward, gently consuming the lovely orbs of flesh that she wanted so desperately to devour. She kissed around the entire swell of her breasts, up and down the cleavage, and then moved slowly until her lips touched the nipple.

"Oh my gawd!" Erica blurted out as she felt Cassidy's lips brush her nipple.

"Shhhhh. It's ok." Cassidy whispered, placing a wet kiss on both nipples, before wrapping her lips around one of them in a single motion.

Erica's back arched, and the moan she released this time was loud and impassioned, her hands moving to cradle her lover's head as if to ensure it stayed right there. Cassidy slowly sucked the nipple, with each motion of her mouth making Erica's body tremble and shake in response. "Oh GAWD yes... oh Cassidy... yes... please... like that..."

Cassidy felt her own desires rising like a volcano, basking in the sensations, but not letting it get her carried away. Even if this is just some weird hallucination, it feels incredible... she feels incredible.... Erica started panting and squirming, which not only pleased her, but showed how well she was pleasing her new lover. Reluctantly, Cassidy switched to the other breast, letting her slender tease and pinch the other, driving the other woman absolutely wild. It felt right, the idea of becoming more intimate, but the fear of Erica once bolting in the past she remembered scared her shitless. Lesbian rule number one... communicate... ask... talk... be sure it's okay and accept it if she's not ready.

Cassidy released the trembling woman's hardened nipple with a soft popping sound, and kissed over the vast expanse of womanly flesh surrounding it. Never talk with your mouth full, right? "I love how your breasts feel in my hands... on my lips, and it's ok, right? Feels good?" she asked in a whisper, trying to hide her nervousness.

"Oh my gawd, Cass, yes yes yes yes. Ohhhhh so very good. I'm addicted to this hee hee." Erica said in a breathy whisper that was sexy all by itself.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I was going for. And there's more... I really really want to do, but it's... a big step. I don't want to rush you, or scare you. It's a bit like a... point of no return." Cassidy said, licking the nipple, making Erica gasp and tremble.

Erica felt a strange rush, mixed with waves of anxiety, knowing what she was asking. Oh shit, she wants to go down on me... or at least touch me. Big step. Very big step. But fuck, I'm wound up like a spring, she thought. As uncertainty swirled violently in her mind, Erica started to panic. This could... this could, this would change everything, and change her even. But her body wanted it, not just a little; it was screaming at her to give in. Then deeply erotic images started dancing in her head, ones that refused to go away. Images of Erica on her back in the bed, her legs spread wide as if begging for it. Images of Cassidy's pretty head buried between her trembling things. Tasting. Eating. Licking. Feasting. Tongue invading her. Oh my fucking gawd, yes, yes yes yes, I need that. I don't care if it's lesbian or what that makes me. I need it, I need Cassidy, I need her tongue in me!

"Ohhhhhh Cass... you want to taste me... eat my... pussy... oh gawd..."

Hearing the quivering urgency in Erica's voice made Cassidy pause from her oral worship of her straight friend's breasts and bring her face nose to nose with hers. "Oh, you never stop surprising me, babe. Even saying those words has to feel a little... wild, am I right?" she asked, nuzzling their noses.

"Y... yes... but... I can't get the... images out of my head..."

"What images? Tell me, I want to hear. Take your time, there's absolutely no rush."

Erica almost gurgled, responding, moaning out, "Me... just like this... on my... back... face up..."

Cassidy bit her lip and smiled, saying, "Sounds sexy... and where do you see me, hmm? We're just talking, ok? That's all."

Erica squirmed, as the video in her head was more animated now, with the image of Cassidy's head moving vigorously, leaving no question as to what was happening. The fear in her mind slowly started to evaporate, and was replaced by a deep hunger. A hunger to feel what she was seeing, to be the moaning woman having her pussy devoured by a gorgeous lesbian. "Y... you... um..."

"It's ok, just say what comes to mind. Anything that comes to mind. I've got you."

Listening to Cassidy's kind, cooing voice triggered something in Erica, as if giving herself permission to want things she never had before, or ever thought she would. As she spoke, something strange and powerful took her over, speaking in a voice she barely recognized. "You... pushing my legs apart, gently, and burying your face in my pussy... licking me... and making... me cum..."

Cassidy felt her desires and emotions almost knock her over as she realized what Erica was saying. She was a woman whose body was on fire, possessed by desire, specifically, desire for her. A completely different person who pulled away and panicked in her most painful memory. But she still wanted to make sure. "Do you want that... want me to...?"

Erica's flushed face flickered with a myriad of expressions, but slowly parted her legs, revealing a black lace thong already dripping... yes dripping with desire. Girl on girl desire. Lesbian desire. Still speechless, Erica's hands slipped into Cassidy's hair, clearly pushing her head between her parted, trembling thighs. Finally, she blurted out, "Yes, yes yes, Cassidy, go down on me... oh gawd yes please..."

Cassidy found herself suddenly very nervous, frustrating her, because this was a moment she had imagined literally for years. Now that it was happening, she felt serious jitters. Acting on instinct, she lowered her face to Erica's fragrant shaved pussy and planted a simple kiss on it, waiting a second before proceeding. She had tasted many women over the years, but Erica's flavor caught her off guard. She tasted like... was it like peaches? Maybe milder, but definitely a sweet flavor, punctuated with a hint of saltiness. "Oh myyyyyyyy you taste incredible, Erica, just divine..."

Feeling out of control, Erica pushed Cassidy's face directly against her, moaning as the other woman's tongue slithered deeper inside her than she thought possible, like a wriggling, fleshy cock but gentler, better somehow. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yesssssssssssssssss Cassidy that feels.... ohhhhhhhhhhh good. Oh oh my gawd, I love you!" she moaned.

Cassidy froze, unsure if what she heard was right or just something uttered in the heat of the moment. She had never once ever experienced a lover this vocal, this responsive, and this appreciative. Inwardly, she was cheering but still worried it was something she would take back later. Rather than overthink it, Cassidy started tongue-fucking her less-and-less straight best friend, feeling her body respond strongly with each stroke.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."

Giggling, Cassidy explored her pussy vigorously but gently. This was more than sex now, more than lovemaking, and yet more intense than the frantic fucking she experienced when the mood struck. More than licking and far more than tasting, this was pure giving. Worship. Ensuring that Erica's first and possibly only lesbian experience left an indelible mark, even if she never did it again. And while she had yet to say it out loud, Cassidy loved her too, so deep and so strongly that it terrified her as it welled up within her. Perfect moments made life worth living, but they always faded as fast as they came, tragically leaving the bar so high it might never be as incredible in the future.

"Oh my sweet... oh yeah, oooo never felt so... good... before... you're... not stopping, it's just... damn... ohhh wow..."

More than anything else, Cassidy just listened. She wasn't trying to leave an impression or imprint as she had with some lovers in the past, nor was this just some straight girl conquest. It was about herself; it was about Erica. Her Erica. Her once-in-a-lifetime love, something she had scoffed about days earlier as not even possibly being real. Erica's hands in her hair were yanking hard now, making her scalp sting a bit, and the impossibly uncomfortable arching of her back just confirmed how close she was. Everything Cassidy was doing might bring Erica to orgasm, but she knew what would. Waiting an additional thirty seconds, she abandoned the lower part of Erica's sexual center and wrapped her lips around the already throbbing clit, while simultaneously sliding two fingers inside her.

Erica was moaning and shouting passion-induced exclamations, but Cassidy's name was the star of the verbal orchestra erupting from her lips. Never in her life had Erica felt as thoroughly consumed, loved, and pleasured, like this. Not even close. Then all at once her body seized painfully and not a single sound came out of her mouth, just intense tremors that seemed to go on forever. Erica saw stars and felt like something inside her was getting torn in half, and yet infinitely pleasurable at the same time.

Cassidy eased back on her assault on Erica's clit until her body started to relax. Then a moment later, she ratcheted up the sucking, even gently fucking the clit with her tongue, repeating the same actions two more times in succession. Moments later, Cassidy could feel Erica ride the crest of a wildly intense orgasm that seemed to go on forever before stopping, making her seem unconscious for a moment or two.

Erica felt like she was in a fog for twenty minutes, though in reality only seconds had passed. As her eyes focused, she saw Cassidy's face looming in her field of vision, wearing a smile that made her think that she had cum instead. Catching her breath, she managed to say, "Um, well, that was... well, I don't have the words. And as chatty as I am, well... that says a lot!"

Cassidy laughed, licking Erica's glistening juices off her lips. "Oh, the pleasure is alllllll mine," she responded, her smile never dimming. She wanted to ask about her mid-climax confession of love, but there was enough going on to bring that up just yet.

Erica tried to sit up but found that it took too much out of her just yet, so flopped back down. "Well, 'wow' and 'thank you' is a start, I suppose. But I don't think I can just unfeel all of that; I think, well, I'm kinda hooked. Is that ok?" she asked sheepishly.

Cassidy let out a very hearty laugh, knowing that the prospect of loving Erica's body over and over again was nothing but amazing. "Well, any time... any time you need a fix, I'm your girl!"

Erica finally recovered enough to sit up, and slipped her hand over to cup Cassidy's cheek, letting her thumb caress the skin there. "I'm not even kidding, not even a bit. And... well... oh gawd this sounds so weird coming from me, but 'your girl' sounds pretty damn awesome. And up..."

Cassidy's brow wrinkled, uncertain what she might say next. "Yeah? You know you can tell me anything, Erica. We've been through too much not to," she said slowly.

Erica bit her lip, a nervous habit that happened whenever she felt like her emotions threatened to get out of control. Stuttering a bit, she said, "Um... about what I said..."

Cassidy jumped right into reassurance mode, knowing that in the heat of the moment she had a lot of things over the years that she wished she hadn't said. "Hey, don't sweat it, lots of things in the middle of a passionate moment..."

Erica cut her off all at once, something she rarely did. "No, just... can I? Let me..." she started.

"Sorry, you're right. Go ahead."

"What I said... I know it seemed like I was just saying something because of... well, how mind-blowing it all felt. But... but I meant it. Gawd, I've always felt like we were more than best friends, but not, well, lovers or something. Now I do, I really do feel more for you, I do love you, I hope that doesn't mess with your head."

Cassidy kissed her hand. "Can I confess something now?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows to defuse any anxiety in the moment.

"Are you kidding? Yes!" Erica said with a lopsided smile.

Cassidy smiled, saying thoughtfully, "I've been in love with you... well, since we first met, when you knocked over that pyramid of champagne glasses. Not love you like a friend, or love you like a sister, but like utterly in love with you. But one thing gay girls know is about unrequited love, and how expressing those feelings can wreck a relationship."

"Damn, I had no idea. Call me the clueless straight girl, hmm?" Erica replied.

Cassidy grimaced. "No, no, stop, I felt it and then... buried it down so far inside me that I'd stop feeling or thinking about it. And I've also given myself nightmares about freaking you out and losing you as a friend, or worse. But this, what just happened, it brought it all back full force. Does that... well... weird you out?" she said without even stopping to breathe.

Erica grabbed Cassidy almost frantically, pulling her into a tight embrace. "No, no, no, no, I freaked myself out when I said it, thinking it would sound strange, but I knew it was true. Like cross-my-heart-hope-to-die true. Through and through."

On her own, Erica kissed Cassidy, a long, slow, sweet kiss that she poured all of her feelings into, and shivered when Cassidy kissed her back in equal measure. "Starting this again, are we?" Cassidy laughed.

"Yes, WE are. I can... I don't want to sound stupid, well, your... scent. You're like crazy turned on. Never thought that would... make me feel things, but yes, it does. I just have no idea what to do," she chittered nervously.

Cassidy felt her usually guarded self melt at the admission, knowing just how enormous a statement it was for a straight girl, though that persona was fading fast. "Just follow your instincts, Erica; women know what feels good. You know way more than you think. But... you can start with kissing my neck; we both know how amazing that feels."

Erica leaned in and let her lips touch the smooth, supple neck of her new lover, surprised at how different it felt from the men she had been with. No bristly hair. The not always pleasant smell. The rougher skin. "Oh, your skin tastes amazing," she whispered as her lips kissed all over. Cassidy let out a pleased sigh to indicate how much she was enjoying it. Moments later, Erica was passionately kissing her neck all over, feeling the urge to kiss her collarbone, and giving in to that.

Trying not to seem too eager, Cassidy unbuttoned her top, baring her modest breasts to Erica's eyes, who stopped to gaze out of pure fascination. A second later, she started kissing her neck again and let her hands feel the beautiful flesh she had just looked at. "C.. can I... taste...?"

"Yes, please. Use your pretty lips on them. Make them feel how much you like them." Cassidy said, practically arching into the sensations.

Erica closed her eyes as her mouth found the nipple at the peak of Cassidy's breast, feeling it harden even more as she began sucking gently. Something about it made her feel like it wasn't enough, like she needed more. She felt the reality of sucking gently at another woman's breast, and yet it felt anything but strange; it felt perfect, inevitable. She felt Cassidy coo and stroke her hair, not physically holding her there, not that was not a delicious thought all its own. She was obsessing about the sensations, the feeling of the moment, and the newness of it all, but mostly the deep intimate connection they shared. Like nothing she had ever felt before.

Cassidy's loins felt like pure molten lava, and the urge to push Erica's virgin tongue there was almost too much to bear. Her own scent wafted upwards like a powerful perfume, soaking them both and the air around them with desire, not just desire, but also lust. Lesbian lust. She pulled Erica's naked body atop her own, letting one of her legs fall between her own as she began grinding into the other woman's supple thigh.

Erica's nose twitched as the scent caressed it gently, as if the smell alone was flirting with her somehow. Or saying something to her. Whispering somehow. Demanding even. Calling to her. She felt a strange mix of desire and anticipation that gave her a heady thrill. Yes, I'm coming, she said silently, already starting to kiss her way downwards.

Cassidy tried to hide her shock and worry as she felt Erica move, but something about her movements showed a woman on a mission, one she would not be dissuaded from. She was normally the aggressor during sex, but found something exhilarating about the roles being reversed. Before sheer desire blocked out rational thought, she reveled in the idea that the only woman she could ever trust to give herself to was Erica.

Erica felt something almost primal now, following the scent to its very source between her lover's legs, until confronted with the sight of Cassidy's pussy. "She" had slender labia and was almost petite overall, reflecting the build of her "owner's" body. Erica was too turned on to worry about technique and finesse, and covered Cassidy's pussy with her mouth, probing and exploring hungrily."

"Oh... GAWD," Cassidy said loudly, unable to hold back her enthusiasm, almost bewildered at how a lesbian virgin could have any kind of skill eating pussy the way she was doing.

Erica gripped Cassidy's hips as she licked, tasted, and immersed herself in the delicious task at hand, marveling at how rich and sexy her pussy tasted. She felt a hand on her head, possessing her and guiding her at the same time, a wonderful dichotomy that felt wonderfully fulfilling. She finally started eagerly sucking on the other woman's clit, bringing rapturous cries to her ears, making her double down. Before she even realized it, Erica felt Cassidy's body tense, and a string of "I love you's" fell from her lips like droplets from a gentle rain.

The two lovers, now quite spent from the vigorous hours of lovemaking, snuggled into one another, with sleep overtaking them within minutes.

Cassidy woke with a start, once again confronted with a room and a bed that felt wrong, but this time she felt a strange peace and satisfaction despite the weird circumstances. Sitting up slowly, a photo caught her eye on the nightstand, two women in wedding gowns with impossibly bright smiles and a crowd of people behind them. It took her a good two or three seconds to recognize herself and Erica, though she never remembered it happening. Damn, my dreams are making me feel whiplash, she muttered, rising to her feet.

Within two seconds, a redheaded eight-year-old girl and a slightly younger blonde boy burst into the room, making the door crash against the wall and leave a hole. "Mommy!" they shouted in unison before slamming against her as she tried to process what was happening.

"Hey, kiddos, stop terrorizing your other mom; she's as mean as a snake before her morning coffee," Erica's voice chimed from the other room.

The two rambunctious kids... apparently hers somehow... scurried away as Erica came to the threshold of the door. "I was starting to worry you'd sleep the day away," she said, plastering a sweet, wet kiss on her lips. "C'mon, you don't want to be late to work, do you?"

Cassidy, still feeling like a stranger in what seemed like her own life, decided to just go along with everything and figure out the rest later. She got dressed quickly, but spent forty-five minutes on her hair and makeup, wanting to look good no matter what alternate reality she had landed in.

As Cassidy walked the downtown street towards her office (what did she do for work again?), she stopped dead in her tracks at the door to the coffee shop where the bizarre conversation from the delusional so-called doctor had taken place to begin with. Feeling a mix of curiosity and fear, she pushed the glass doors open and looked around, not seeing anyone she recognized. Maybe I can write a weird science fiction story about time travel adventures when I wake up, she said to herself.

Just as she turned to leave, she spotted Dr. Naadia (or whoever she really was) sitting at the same table they originally talked at, with a smile on her face. Watching the older woman wave her over, Cassidy walked to the table, just for the sake of sheer curiosity. "Hello again, would you sit down for a few minutes?" Dr. Naadia asked.

Cassidy laughed softly and shook her head before taking a seat. "You know, from the minute we met, all that's happened has made me question my sanity and what's even real. Kinda wondering what you'll do for an encore," she said.

"And people say Canadians have no sense of humor," the older woman said with a smile, a twinkle in her eye.

Cassidy cleared her throat, saying, "So level with me, what the hell has all this been about, and what did you do, slip me something? I can't tell what's from what at this point."

Dr. Naadia's polite smile didn't diminish at Cassidy's snarky question, but she nodded. "This all tends to feel very disorienting. One minute you're living your life, and then next you're reliving moments from the past, making changes, and then you wake up in a new life you don't even remember living," she said, almost clinically.

"Yeah, that about sums it up. But what actually happened? Drugs? Hypnosis? Brainwashing?" Cassidy asked, somewhat irritated now.

Dr. Naadia reached over and took Cassidy's hand, something she never did, but despite her own discomfort, felt it would help ground the other woman. "I've been very forthcoming about everything, from our first conversation to now. What I told you is true. You had a deep regret that haunted you, and I gave you a chance to fix it, and now you have. This is the future you hoped for, am I right?"

Cassidy nodded, answering, "Well yes, but I still remember how things originally happened, and can't remember a thing about how I got to 'future now' at all."

The older woman nodded, this time with her signature stoic expression on her face. "Well," she said, "you made the changes, yes, and right now your memories haven't caught up with you yet. You'll find them emerge a little at a time until you remember everything as it is now. But you'll still remember your original past too."

"So why all this? Why me and why go to all this trouble?"

"Because you missed your best life because of a few unintentional mistakes. And while I cannot answer any questions about it, Erica missed her best life too. Very rarely in my line of work do you get the chance to repair two lives at once. Plus I missed my own best life once and wanted to see you live yours."

The older woman stood to her feet and extended a hand formally to Cassidy, who shook it easily. "Good luck, Cassidy. I'm afraid we'll never speak again, but cherish what you have now. You worked hard for it."

Cassidy watched as the older woman started walking towards the door, distracted for a second by her smartphone ringing, with a picture of Erica smiling on it. As she answered, Cassidy looked back towards the door and saw that the strange therapist was gone.

"Hey, you at work yet? Let's have lunch!" Erica said cheerily.

As Cassidy started to say yes, some memories trickled into her mind, images of her proposal to Erica, glimpses of their wedding, and the birth of their children, which Erica herself had carried. Overwhelmed by the rush of memories, Cassidy had to take a breath to suppress the urge to cry for joy.

"Hey, you there? Is everything ok?"

Cassidy broke out into a smile so big it almost made her face hurt. "Erica babe, I've got you, so everything is always ok!"

Erica and Cassidy were together for the rest of their lives, watching their kids have kids, and even their grandkids have kids. Everyone who knew them jokingly referred to them as "that disgustingly cute lesbian couple," but their love set an example of what could be, and Cassidy never once revealed that it once had not been. Why spoil a good story after all?