Showing Myself Ch. 16

Hi, this chapter is from the past again, and is just a short description of how I evolved the way I did.

It came about because I was going through my closet, and found some slides from a long time ago even before I went to the theater the first time. I then realized that I've always had exhibitionist tendencies, and thought I could tie things together for you.

I was living with my parents on the military base during my first year of college, and you can probably guess I was masturbating all the time. I was shy, and didn't have a boyfriend, but that didn't stop me from checking out guys and fantasizing about them. When I was alone in my bedroom, I'd lay on top of the bed naked and touch myself, and imagine that some guy would walk in. Just by chance, there was a big mirror on the closet door that faced the bed perfectly, and I could see exactly what my imaginary guy would see.

I then started acting out my fantasies. If I was alone in the house, I'd start walking around nude. At first I just went to the kitchen and then back to my room, because I was afraid someone would just walk in, even though that was silly. Eventually I got comfortable and laid back on the sofa and watched TV with my legs spread wide and played with myself. That was when I learned to take masturbation to an art form, and I'd bring myself to the edge and stop, back to the edge again, and stop again, etc. I'd find hot actors on the shows and imagine they could see me.

Because I was so naive, I was sure that I was the only person around that masturbated, and thought I was so perverted and was ashamed. But, that didn't stop me from trying new things, because I would always get the urge again. One new thrill was to stand nude in front of the window with the blinds mostly drawn, and I'd rub myself with my panties while looking outside, and imagine the blinds weren't even there. Sometimes I'd see one of the guys who was going to classes with me, and I wished he'd look back and wonder if I was home. If I'd been smarter, I would have made sure I was in a bikini outside in a lounge chair and waved to him (I didn't look too bad!), but looking back he was probably going inside and masturbating just like I was. There were also a lot of hot young officers on base in the housing area, snd sometimes I'd stand by the blinds later at night and look for homes that had lights on in the bedrooms, and imagined they were having sex. There was no internet or anything, so this was as close to porn as I could get.

I was pretty limited as to how risky I could get, but I started pushing it, and it foretold what I would eventually do in the theater. We had an attached garage, so I would strip naked and leave my clothes in the bedroom, and go to the furthest corner in the garage and masturbate. The garage door had little windows in it, and I could stand there and look outside while I did it. The car was never there because my dad always took it to work, but I always thought how sexy it would be to lay on the hood of the car with my legs wide open and imagine my classmate walking in and kneeling down and kissing me there. To my surprise, over the next few years I found out from porn films that sex on the hood of the car was quite common!

The best part of masturbating in the garage and finally bringing myself to orgasm was that I would have the feeling of guilt that I shouldn't be doing that, but I had no choice but to walk back through the house naked to get back to my room. It was sort of the same thing when I did it in the living room, but somehow it was different when I was in the garage, because I had to enter the house, walk through it, and then go to my room. There was practically no risk other than if my mom came home early, but that never happened.

I was never really into sex toys or anything like that, but all women experiment at some point. I would take a cucumber or carrot or big candle and rub it over my lips and it would get me so wet! I tried penetration, but I just didn't like it. It wasn't until Rolf's cock entered me the first time that I found out that cocks are much more form fitting, and it felt wonderful. The worst that ever happened with my "toy" experimenting is that one of the fireplace mantle candles started getting soft and it had an odd curve afterwards that I hoped no one noticed. Also, one time when I was running the cucumber over myself, I heard the garage door open, and all I could do was put it in the fridge really fast and run to my room, but I didn't even have time to wash it off! Oh well.

The other thing I used to do when I was alone was wash some towels and then put them in the dryer all lopsided, and the dryer would vibrate so hard! I would stand on a little footstool and place my myself on the top corner and just let it do all the work. I still do that to this day, and I prefer it much more than a vibrator. I never fail to orgasm that way, and the dryer never gets tired.

I then found another thrill. My dad had bought a 35mm camera, and it had a timer on it. I bought a roll of slide film, and took some pictures of myself. I'm sure you can guess which kind, and it didn't take long before I had the roll full of pictures. I tried every pose, and even though I had no experience sexually and hadn't even seen any pictures, somehow I knew which poses would be sexy. I even knelt in front of the camera and leaned forward with my breasts hanging down, and I thought I looked really amazing! You can probably imagine that some other pics were very explicit, and that was so exciting! But then I realized I had to get the film developed.

I didn't want to go to the place on base, so I went downtown to the city. I found a photo shop, and dropped the film off. I went back a few days later, and I thought they would just hand me the slides, but the woman behind the counter pulled them out in three plastic sleeves over a lighted counter, and there I was! God, I was so embarrassed, but at least they weren't photos! She was very nice though and just smiled, and I mumbled something about they were a surprise for my boyfriend. She had probably seen this a million times, but how would I know that?! But somehow it was exciting to think that maybe whoever packaged them thought about them that night and thought I was sexy.

I took some more rolls of film, and did it in riskier places. I started in the kitchen and tried to look really seductive with a cucumber. I have some slides of me playing on the dryer, and I look so silly, when I really thought I looked sexy.

And once I went way out into a wooded area and stripped down to my sneakers and quickly took some pics in very seductive poses, such as leaning against a tree with my hands between my legs, or sitting on a blanket with my hand rubbing myself. I was kind of scared, but then I started going back and taking it further, and it's kind of how I progressed at the theater when I started going there.

When I kept going back to the forest, I didn't always take my camera. It confirmed to myself that just being naked was such a thrill, and I didn't always have to document it, but then I started taking more risks. I brought a large purse with me, found a spot to take my clothes off and put my clothes away, and then strolled a hundred yards away. I then acted out like I usually do knowing that if anyone approached, I'd have to run and put my clothes on. At first I just walked around naked (wearing white sneakers and white socks), but then I found a large flat rock right in the middle of the trees.

The sun would shine through the trees, and I brought a blanket with me and laid it out so I could sunbathe. Of course it only took a few minutes before I'd become excited, and I couldn't help myself from masturbating. After the first time I felt guilty and jumped up and grabbed the blanket and ran back to my purse, but after a few times I would just stay there and enjoy the climax. Then, I started setting up the camera to take pics every ten seconds (it used to be so much work back then!), and if I look back at those slides, I think I looked pretty darn hot! Lol!

After I met Rolf, I took him to the same area and he would take pictures of me too. Looking through the slides, my favorites are the ones where I posed for him in a sequence. It started with me leaning against a tree by the big rock I just talked about, and it would show me starting to unbutton my dress. Then a few slides later, I was standing there with the dress on the ground, in white panties and bra (I always wore white probably because I was so angelic. Ha Ha!) Then I started acting out and in the next slide I let the bra fall from my breasts, and my hands were starting to slide my panties down my thighs, so that you could see the hair above my vagina but nothing else. The last slide showed me with my bra around my waist and my panties around one ankle while I touched myself. If you can imagine, Rolf was touching himself too, but these pics were all about me!

But the main point is that I loved this taboo aspect and it foretold how I acted in the theater a few months later.

Right about the same time, I thought I'd try to get the guy that was in my class to take some pictures of me. He came home the same time every day and I timed it so he would be near my house, and I went outside to pretend to check the mailbox.

"Hi Aaron, how's school? I know we share one class."

"Ok I guess. I'll get through it."

It was sunny out, and I had picked out the prettiest sundress I could find, and I wasn't wearing panties. I hoped the sun would shine through the dress and he'd notice, and I could feel the cool air float up from underneath.

"Hey, would you mind taking a few pictures of me out here? I have some friends I haven't seen for a while, and I'd like to send them some photos."

"Sure, I guess."

God, could he be any less enthusiastic??

I got the camera and we took a few pictures, and I thanked him.

"Aaron, would you like to come over sometime and study? We only have that one class together, but we could watch some TV afterwards or whatever."

"Maybe, I've been helping Sandy. She's kind of behind."

Yeah, I'm sure, he was probably behind her a lot! I was so humiliated! I hope he's reading this, because I would have made it worth it, and he could have taken any pictures he wanted. The only cock I had ever seen was in a men's magazine I found by the dumpster, and I really wanted to see a real one. Other nineteen year olds were way ahead of me. I think it was because I was kind of the girl next door, and the guys thought they would have to work too hard to get into my pants, and didn't even try. But hey, with girls like Sandy around, who needs me?

Thank god my friends dared me to go to the theater that time, which lead me to meeting Monika eventually. I found out I wasn't so weird after all, and she taught me that a person can be sweet, kind, classy and very sexual and wild all at the same time.

Anyway, I'll post another chapter of my current situation very soon, so keep checking back!