Porno Pastor

My name is Emily. My husband and I attended our second marriage counseling session with Pastor Paul. He asked us how things had been this past week. I told him we had prayed often together about our situation and that I thought my husband, Ron, had received oral from me more than ever.

Pastor Paul said, "Oh," then asked me to elaborate.

"If I woke up in the middle of the night, I sucked Ron. He woke up to me sucking him. I sucked him while he ate breakfast."

I told Pastor Paul that I was extremely oral with Ron because I wanted him to know I wanted to have sex and that he didn't have to ask for it, ever.

"Did Ron ever become erect when you were oral with him?"

"No."

Pastor Paul asked Ron, "Emily was sucking you day and night, and you didn't get hard?

Ron sighed. "I felt bad that I was getting all that attention when I couldn't do anything sexual in return."

Pastor Paul said under his breath, "I know I would and could have.

Pastor Paul asked if we'd watched the video he'd given us. I told him we had, twice.

"And what did it do to you?"

"What did it do to me? Watching a stocky black man with a well-sized cock kiss and undress a beautiful young white woman made me wetter than I remembered ever being. Ron's penis was limp in my hand, but the man in the video, his cock was firm, thick, and long. His cock looked like a chocolate battering ram. When the young woman knelt and the black man put the head of his cock to her lips, I could almost smell his masculine scent.

The young woman looked so frail, and the man's cock looked so powerful. The contrast of the man's dark chocolate skin and the young woman's pale white skin was stark. When the young woman licked the head of the man's cock, I could almost taste him, and wanted to. I envied her. I knew it had to be like tasting one of those expensive chocolates.

The young woman's nipples grew hard as she sucked the man's cock. You could tell that even though she was acting in the video, it wasn't all an act. I rubbed my clit as did the woman in the video. I hadn't cum, but my clit was as sensitive as if I had. None of it seemed to excite Ron, but he watched intently.

I didn't think black men did it, but he got between her legs and ate her out. The young woman writhed and moaned as I think I would have. Ron doesn't go down on me, and I'd almost pay a man to.

When the man in the video kissed the young woman's stomach, then her breasts, then put his tongue in her mouth as his engorged cock parted the young woman's labia, I envied her more than ever.

I felt an emptiness in me when the black man's stiff cock slowly slid into the young woman. Her soft folds enveloped his cock. It was an embrace that screamed yet whispered what heaven must be like.

The young woman's husband's penis was as limp as Ron's. He had no idea what was happening within his wife, as Ron had no idea what I was feeling. I wanted to be that young woman, and I wished that Ron was the black man she was with. The video turned me on, but neither me nor the video turned Ron on."

Pastor Paul asked me if watching a black man having sex with another man's wife made me feel closer to my husband.

"I don't know if it made me feel closer to Ron, but he did touch me while we watched the video."

Pastor Paul asked Ron if he thought about his actions when he touched me.

"I wasn't watching someone else having sex with a black man. I saw Emily. She was the woman in the video."

Pastor Paul asked me how I felt about Ron seeing me as the woman in the video.

I admitted I had dreams of being that woman, having sex with that black man.

Pastor Paul asked me if Ron was in the room when I was having sex with this black man in my dreams.

"Ron sat silently watching as this black man and I did everything sexually imaginable together. I came again and again. In my dream, Ron's penis is fully erect, and he masturbates. Me being with a black man excited him and got him off."

Pastor Paul, a black man himself, asked if it excited me, having these dreams.

"Enough that Ron got his cock sucked more than ever before."

Pastor Paul read from Colossians 3:1-6, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming."

Pastor Paul asked us what that passage meant to us.

Ron said it meant that we should put away sexual thoughts and live for God with our sights on only those things above, not our earthly desires.

Pastor Paul asked me how Ron's response made me feel. I told him it made me realize I would be married and lonely for the rest of my life.

Pastor Paul asked Ron how my response made him feel. He said that he didn't know.

He didn't know. He didn't know how my feeling of being alone and married for the rest of my life made him feel! I wanted to walk out! How can a man be so unfeeling? So uncaring? So self-obsessed?

Pastor Paul saw that I was hurt by Ron's response. He then asked Ron how he thought I felt, knowing I would be lonely and married for the rest of my life.

Ron thought, then answered, "She loves me enough to stay with me, even if we don't have sex."

I couldn't believe it! He had no idea how his not loving me in my love language hurt and how bad it hurt me that he wouldn't when he could.

Pastor Paul asked Ron if I had spent a considerable amount of time trying to be sexual with him this past week. Ron told him that I was down on him more than not the whole week. Then he added, "But I never asked her to."

Pastor Paul asked Ron if he felt he had to ask for sex.

He said no and never would.

Pastor Paul stated, "Emily seems to love sucking cock, which I find commendable. And that she'll do it anytime says something."

I watched Pastor Paul adjust himself, then he continued, "I'm a Godly man, but even I feel something when I think of Emily doing what she's done for you."

Pastor Paul told Ron that most men would brag about how much their wives went down on them rather than downplaying the fact.

Ron told Pastor Paul, "She didn't have to go down on me, and I never asked me to."

Pastor Paul was quiet for a moment, then he asked Ron, "But you'll ask her to have sex with other men?"

Pastor Paul asked Ron what excited him, other than thinking about me having sex with other men.

"That's about it."

Pastor Paul asked Ron if he enjoyed me going down on him.

"I didn't mind."

Pastor Paul asked Ron if I was good at giving head, and he said I was okay.

"Do you think I'd enjoy having Emily suck me?"

Ron sat up, smiled, and said, "Yes."

"If Emily is just okay at giving head, why would I enjoy it?

"Because she has no gag reflex and will do it for hours.

Pastor Paul asked if that was true. I said, "Given the chance, yes."

Pastor Paul asked if me giving head was like pizza, good when it's good and still good even when it's bad?

Ron laughed. "Yes."

I agreed.

Pastor Paul asked me what I would do if I did have sex with other men.

"I would do almost anything."

Pastor Paul cleared his throat and asked me if I would do the same for him.

I quickly replied, "Yes!"

I couldn't believe Pastor Paul was asking me if I'd suck his cock.

Pastor Paul said, "The temptations of the flesh can be hard, like many men."

I looked at him, confused.

He said, "A beautiful woman can tempt a man and stir his desires." Then he said, "Although we are Christians, we all have our lustful thoughts and desires, especially for women who will suck for hours and do anything with a man that he wants her to."

I unbuttoned one of the buttons on my blouse, and Pastor Paul watched intently.

He surprised me when he asked Ron the last time he kissed me passionately, intensely, using his tongue.

Ron looked at me, then said, "We don't do that.

"Why?"

"I don't like the way she does it."

Pastor Paul asked me if I liked deep kissing.

"I miss that more than anything."

Pastor Paul slowly licked his lips and smiled at me. He then asked Ron if my deep kissing, going down on other men, and having intercourse with other men was too sexual.

Ron said that was different.

Pastor Paul asked Ron if he would let him have sex with me.

Ron looked at me, leaned forward, and asked Pastor Paul, "Are you serious?"

Pastor Paul looked at me and asked, "Do you think Ron would enjoy seeing us as much as I'd enjoy being with you?"

I told him things got weird and fast, but yes.

Pastor Paul shook his head and said it hadn't happened as fast as I had thought.

He said he felt the three of us had a connection, and he thought I felt it, too.

Pastor Paul is an attractive man, but he's our pastor. And now he was suggesting that he and I have sex.

Pastor Paul turned to Ron and asked if he thought of himself as attractive.

Ron said he had never felt attractive, at least not since he was about 19.

"Is that the last time you had sex with another man?"

Without having to think about it, my husband said yes.

I couldn't believe what I heard. My husband had never talked about sex with other men. It took us going to Pastor Paul for me to find out.

Pastor Paul asked Ron if the last man he had sex with was black, and he said yes.

"What is it about black men that turns you on?"

Ron said, "Most of them are muscular, fit... and they usually have big cocks."

Pastor Paul asked me, "Is that what you like about black men?"

"I've never been with one. So, I'm not sure."

Pastor Paul asked me to describe a black man I'd have sex with. I raised my eyebrows. "Um, I guess he'd have to be stocky like you are, medium to dark-skinned like you are, and have big hands like you do. I guess you'd be that man."

Yes. I was telling Pastor Paul, again, that I would have sex with him.

Pastor Paul asked me who pays the bills in our house, and I said I did.

"Who makes the major decisions?"

"I do, most of the time.

"Who initiates sex?"

I admitted it was me.

Pastor Paul stated that he didn't think that Ron wanting me to have sex with other men was the biggest problem we had. It was deciding when.

I agreed.

I was beside myself. First, I was relieved that it wasn't me that made my husband not want to have sex with me. Second, I was upset because I knew I could never give him sexually what another man could. Yet, Pastor Paul was coming on to me. Tears began falling down Ron's cheeks. I felt sorry for both of us. First, I was sorry for myself because I would probably never be able to please my husband, as he likes men. Second, I was sorry for him because he'd been living a lie. He struggled every day to show me he loved me when, in reality, he always wanted to be loved by a man the way I wanted him to love me.

Pastor Paul asked Ron how long he'd been attracted to men.

"Since I was 11. "

I asked Ron how he knew at such a young age.

"I just knew."

Pastor Paul asked Ron how many men he thought he may have had sex with until the last time.

"A couple hundred."

He said he sought out men at parks and mall bathrooms, and he missed it.

Pastor Paul asked Ron if the last time he'd sought out a man for sex was really when he was nineteen. Ron shook his head. He admitted to going onto Craigslist looking for men to "hook up" with.

I asked Ron why he married me if he was gay. He told me that he felt pressured by his mother and me. I asked Ron what he thought when he looked between my legs. He told me that my vagina always looked, to him, like a stab wound that never healed.

Pastor Paul smiled and told me, "I bet you have a pretty pussy."

I pictured myself on my bed, my legs open, and Pastor Paul between them, flicking his tongue on my clit and darting his tongue in and out of my pussy. I coyly said, "Thank you."

Pastor Paul asked Ron if he considered homosexuality a sin, and he said yes. He then asked Ron what it was about homosexuality that was so strong to have such a hold on him.

Ron told Pastor Paul and me he had always felt that he should have been born a woman. He liked feeling feminine, and being with a man and being loved by a man.

Pastor Paul looked at me and asked, "Is that what you want?

"What?"

"To be loved by a real man who knows how to please a woman."

I could feel my face blush.

I said, "That would be nice."

Pastor Paul said, "I think it would be better than nice."

He kept staring at my breasts, so I unbuttoned another button.

Pastor Paul asked Ron about the best day of his life.

Ron didn't have to think.

"I met a Navy doctor at a bar when I was in the military, and he invited me to his house. We drank wine together, and he kissed me with his tongue and was oral with me like a man would be with a woman. He 'made love' to me for over an hour. We dated for over a year. It was the happiest time of my entire life. I felt like his wife and lover. I felt like my life had a purpose."

Pastor Paul asked Ron if he thought he could ever feel that way with me. He said he didn't know.

Pastor Paul asked me how I was doing. I said that, surprisingly, "I was okay."

He asked me if I was sure. I winked and said, "Yes."

Pastor Paul admitted that I was taking this much better than he would in my situation.

I smiled. "I can take a lot."

Pastor Paul grinned. "I like that."

I told Pastor Paul that nothing had changed between Ron and me; he was still my husband, and I still loved him. Other than that, I knew more about Ron than I had before.

I told Pastor Paul that my husband's sexuality wasn't our biggest problem, or at least my biggest problem. Pastor Paul asked me what the biggest problem was. I told him that Ron wanted me to have sex with other men, but now it made a lot more sense to me as to why.

Pastor Paul asked me why that was a problem.

"I've not been with another man in years."

Pastor Paul said, "It's sinful, but many people do it."

"Do what?"

"Give in to their fleshly desires."

I knew what Pastor Paul was saying. He wanted me, and I wanted him.

I asked Pastor Paul if he'd ever heard of the Mosuo people. He said he had read about them and their culture in college. I mentioned to him that they had a matrilineal societal view and that the women had as few or as many lovers as they wanted, and no one saw fewer or more lovers as bad or good, but normal. I included that they may have homosexual men in their community, but no one cares too much about it because it's rare and considered that person's thing and no one else's.

Pastor Paul said, "The Mosuo people are not Christians. They're Buddhist."

I brought up that beyond the fact that they were okay with women having multiple partners, they also did not press gender roles. Pastor Paul reminded me that these Mosuo people are hill people, not part of general society.

Pastor Paul asked me why I had brought up the Mosuo people. I told him that I had read about them, and although they are not Christian, they do have religious beliefs, but have lived for thousands of years in a community that has never seen women having sex with multiple men as wrong, and they have survived and sustained themselves, well, for many centuries.

I asked Pastor Paul how societies worldwide saw what was wrong and how this community, which rarely had any connection with the outside world, could be so sustainable yet go against everything the rest of the world sees as normal and acceptable.

"The Mosuo people are not Christians. In contrast, most of the world subscribes to Christian moral teachings."

I told Pastor Paul that I know the scriptures, and I know that immorality is a sin, but does God, will God judge the Mosuo people the same way he will judge us?

Pastor Paul told me that God's law is God's law, and all are His creation. Therefore, sin is sin, no matter where or who you are. Pastor Paul then asked me if I was seriously considering having sex with other men.

I told him, "I know God's laws and desires through reading the scriptures, but I also have to wonder how we interpret the scriptures could be wrong."

Pastor Paul told me that I had been through a lot and that he understood the confusion I must be feeling. He said, "You're a good Christian woman and wife, but you need a man who wants you in bed."

Pastor Paul told me that my ability to love my husband through everything exemplified how God has worked through me. He told me that he was sure that God would guide me in the way I should go.

I told Pastor Paul I had always prioritized God over everything and heard and read His teachings. I told him that God has spoken to me in various ways. I told Pastor Paul that God works in ways we may never comprehend, but everyone is judged by those around them and how they live.

Pastor Paul agreed. "People will always judge."

He said, "Maybe we should stretch our legs, get the circulation going."

When Pastor Paul stood up, I could see his cock straining against his pants and that he was good-sized. He also looked me over. From his expression, I could tell he liked what he saw.

I excused myself, went to the bathroom, and took off my bra. I also unbuttoned another button on my blouse. When I returned, Pastor Paul said, "Things are becoming clearer to me now."

I smiled.

Pastor Paul looked at me and said, "Any man would be lucky to have you."

Ron hadn't noticed I was exposing myself to Pastor Paul, but Pastor Paul noticed.

My throat was dry, and I asked Pastor Paul if there was anything we could drink.

"I can make us some coffee, if you'd like."

Ron said he could go for a cup.

I followed Pastor Paul and told him, "Ron is so oblivious."

Pastor Paul smiled. "Trust me, I noticed."

I told Pastor Paul I had noticed him, too, and that his pants were too tight on him.

As coffee brewed, Pastor Paul said, "I love Ron, and I love you, but Ron is as gay as a three-dollar bill. He might be able to resist the temptation to be with other men, but I don't think you have to."

I asked, "Is that how a pastor should be talking?"

Pastor Paul sighed. "I am your pastor, but I'm also a man."

I pictured Pastor Paul ripping my blouse open, setting me on the counter, pulling down my pants and sliding his cock into me.

"You really do want to make love to me, don't you?"

Pastor Paul clenched his fists. "This is the Lord's house."

I could tell he wanted to take me there and then.

When the coffee was ready, Pastor Paul asked how I liked my coffee.

"Hot and black."

Pastor Paul snickered. "Maybe have a little cream in it?"

When we returned to Pastor Paul's office with coffee, Ron asked, "If God doesn't want us to have sex, why did he make it feel so good?"

"God's original plan was for men and women to have sex and procreate. If it didn't feel good, no one would want to do it."

Ron asked, "How do you fight the urge to have sex?"

Pastor Paul said, "God wants us to have sex. He gave us sex drives for that reason. He doesn't want us not to have sex; He just has guidelines."

Ron asked Pastor Paul, "Am I a bad person because I'm attracted to men?"

"You're human. You have desires."

"But doesn't the Bible say that homosexuality is an abomination?"

Pastor Paul explained, "We all sin and fall short of the glory of God."

"But do you?" Ron asked.

"I am sinful just like everyone else," Pastor Paul said, "Although I am a pastor, I still have desires and thoughts, and probably always will. What you must remember is that there is forgiveness."

Pastor Paul put his arm around me. "Emily loves you, even though you're gay. And you have to love yourself. You can't condemn yourself; that's for God to do."

Ron shook his head. "I wish I could be more like you."

Pastor Paul smiled. "God made us all in his image. You may be attracted to men, but you are married to a beautiful woman with a lot to offer any man."

"But why am I attracted to men?" Ron asked

"I don't know. I don't know how any man could not be attracted to Emily."

"You think Emily is attractive?"

Pastor Paul pulled me closer. "Emily, in case you haven't noticed, has a beautiful body, beautiful rounded breasts, full kissable lips, eyes that light up a room, and legs that go on for miles. I think most men would find Emily attractive."

"Why don't I see that?" Ron asked.

Pastor Paul said, "You don't see Emily as I do."

Pastor Paul said everything I wanted to hear, things Ron never said. If Pastor Paul had pulled out his cock, I would have sucked it right then and there. I looked down and noticed Pastor Paul's cock was still straining in his pants. I wanted to release it. I knew Ron wanted to see it, and I wanted it in me. I asked Ron, "You said you wish you could be more like Pastor Paul; what did you mean?"

Ron pointed at Pastor Paul's cock and said, "Look at him. We're just talking, and his cock is hard as a rock, bulging in his pants."

Pastor Paul adjusted himself the best he could. Ron and I watched and smiled.

I said, "I've never complained about what you have, Ron."

"He's obviously turned on by you."

Pastor Paul said, "God designed women to turn men on."

"But men turn me on," Ron said.

"And Emily turns me on," Pastor Paul said under his breath.

Pastor Paul returned to his desk and sat down. I felt so alone. Having his arm around me made me feel wanted, and I liked knowing he wanted me.

Pastor Paul said, "We need to focus on you and Emily, and where to go from here."

I pushed my breasts up and asked, "What do you think we should do?"

Pastor Paul stammered, "I, uh, well... what do you want to do?"

I just smiled.

Pastor Paul said, "I want you two to pray together. I want you to talk to each other and decide what's most important to you. Do you want to have sex with men, either of you? If so, we need to talk about that. Although God has a plan, he gives us free will to do what we know is right. We have to talk about that."

I could tell Pastor Paul was flustered. His cock was about to burst from his pants, and I was so wet. Ron had no idea what was going on between Pastor Paul and me, but I did and liked it. Pastor Paul said, "Let's meet at your house Thursday at seven."

I had no idea what Pastor Paul had planned, but if his mind was where mine was, it could be good, really good.

...

Pastor Paul has known us for several years and is very tuned in to the congregation.

He and another pastor came to our house last night and sat with my husband and me. The other pastor's name is Tim. Tim has struggled with homosexual attraction himself. Tim explained to Ron and me that just because we are Christians doesn't mean we will not face temptation. Tim said he is still attracted to men, but by God's grace, he has overcome his temptations.

I told Tim my husband's attraction to other men was not our biggest problem. Tim said he knew about my husband asking me to have sex with other men, and that was why his wife would be joining us. Tim said his wife was a few minutes behind him and Paul. Tim told me he and his wife had been living that lifestyle, too, so Pastor Paul asked him and his wife, Tia, to speak with us.

Tim explained that the temptation to be with men is powerful for both men and women. He said, "I more than just understand how it can make you feel when you have sex with other men."

Tim said he knew what he was doing was wrong, but the temptation was so strong because of how good it felt. Tim told us, "When I was with other men, I was always the submissive one, the bottom. I never desired to have intercourse with other men but for them to have intercourse with me."

When Tia showed up, she told us that she and Tim decided, years ago, to go to a swing club. They thought that maybe being in that type of environment would help them become more sexual with each other. And that backfired.

Tia said, "The first time we went to the swing club, Tim mostly walked around looking at other couples as they made love. And in the meantime, I ended up having sex with other men. It was surreal."

She and Tim had been in a sexless marriage for five years, and in one night, she had sex with nine other men. Tia admitted, "That night at the swing club, I felt more attractive than ever, and having so many men prove this was a real ego boost."

Tim said he got to see Tia with the last five men, and they were well-sized, which he liked as much as Tia seemed to. Tia said that she and Tim became members of the club that night.

Tia liked most how this experience opened a new level of communication between her and Tim. She said, "We talked about all the men I had sex with and how good it felt for me. We talked about the men's bodies and how some were better than others." Then Tia said, "But that was then."

I asked Tia if she felt guilty after she had sex with the nine other men. She admitted, "I had felt guilty, but that didn't stop Tim and me from returning to the club the following night."

I asked Tim what it felt like for him to see Tia being sexual with five other men.

"The first time was fantastic. The next night, Tia had even more men than before, which was awesome. I loved that Tia was so open to all of the men and how comfortable the men seemed to be having sex with her."

Tia admitted. "I was initially nervous, but once the first guy was in me, all that nervousness left."

I asked Tia how long she and Tim had lived the lifestyle.

"Almost ten years."

I asked Tia if the guilt ever left her.

"I always felt guilty afterward but stayed in the lifestyle because the pleasure outweighed the guilt." She admitted, "The sex I had while in the lifestyle was the best I'd ever had."

Tim admitted, "The more men Tia had sex with, the bigger my ego got. I felt like I was married to the sexiest woman alive, and although other men were having sex with Tia, she was my wife. And that was the real ego boost."

Tim said, "What fueled all of this for me was being able to see the other men naked and in action. I really liked that. Some men even let me get involved in the giving aspect. None of the men had intercourse with me, but some of them let me give to them orally, which made me feel appreciated and wanted.

I asked Tia if it bothered her to see Tim being oral with the other men.

"I understood from a woman's point of view how much I enjoyed giving orally and felt that Tim should feel as good as I did with the other men."

Tim and Tia admitted that they let the lust of their flesh push them on, and it was what kept them in the lifestyle for so long.

My husband asked Tia if she had ever had sex with black men.

"Of the nine men I had sex with the first time, six of them were black. The second night, four of them were black. Since that first encounter at the club, I've maybe been with two hundred black men."

Before getting into the lifestyle, Tia said she had never had sex with a black man.

I asked Tia what it was like.

Tia admitted that black men were the most prominent reason she enjoyed the lifestyle. She said, "I would have never thought there would be such a difference between having sex with white men and having sex with black men, but there was. The black men I had sex with made me feel sexy. They knew how to talk to me and were excellent, experienced lovers."

Tim added that he and Tia started frequenting a black club near their house.

Tim said, "Tia was asked to join some men in the VIP room the first time there. She had sex with 6 black men for almost three hours."

Tia said, "To me, it only lasted about fifteen minutes, but my phone told me otherwise."

Tia said, "Satan makes straying from God so appealing and also makes it feel really, really good." Tia lowered her head and whispered, "God, it felt good."

Ron asked Tia and Tim how they had been able to resist their temptations: Tia having sex with other men and Tim having sex with other men.

Tim told Ron that after a while, sex became the main focus of their lives.

Tia told us that she was having sex with other men most days of the week after a while.

Tia said, "I was having sex with any black man that wanted me. I was having sex in men's cars. The pleasure I felt took me over, and I found I needed more and more of it as time passed."

Tim admitted the church became a distant memory, and they would have several men at their house on Sunday mornings and consider the gangbangs their church.

Tia said, "For almost 6 years, I was gangbanged every Sunday morning. Sex became my form of worship and my church."

Tim said, "God was absent from our relationship the whole time, though."

I asked Tim if he has intercourse with Tia now.

Tia answered, "We've been celibate by... choice. We've learned that sex is too much of a temptation for us."

I asked Tia if she missed the closeness she felt when having sex with Tim or the other men.

"Oh, God, Yes! It's a daily struggle for me not to want to have sex." She admitted, "To this very day, when a black man looks me over, I have the temptation to give in and approach him. Although we've left that lifestyle, the attraction has stayed."

Pastor Paul said, "We all have sinned, and God never said that living for him would be easy."

Tia added, "Whenever I am tempted, I remember that Christ died for me and that we are saved by God's grace."

Ron asked Tim if he still desires to have sex with men.

"The desire may never leave me, but I know that God considers homosexuality to be an abomination."

Under his breath, Tim said, "But it shouldn't be."

I asked Tia what got them to leave the lifestyle.

Tia was silent for a moment, then she said, "Sex had become our God, and I knew that although it felt terrific physically, it was against God's will for our marriage."

I asked Tia what caused her and Tim to leave the lifestyle. "Was it just some revelation?"

Tia said that it was. She said, "It happened the last Sunday I got gangbanged. One of the men in the gangbang was new to our Sunday morning church, and he was why we stopped. He had intercourse with me after the other men already had. Then, after he finished, he asked me not to tell his wife."

Tia said, "I had helped this black man cheat on his wife, and his wife was a member of the church we used to attend. That was the moment I realized that I had sinned against my own body and another member of the church. And that hit home with me."

I asked Tia if the married man she had sex with was any good.

Tia admitted, "He was excellent, probably one of the best I'd ever had, but when he told me not to tell his wife, it hit home. That fantastic sex should have been between him and his wife, not between him and me."

Tia said, "That was the most challenging part of leaving the lifestyle. The sex was really, really good, but hurting another should never be a part of your sex life."

Ron asked Tia what would have happened if she had never said anything or the guy had never said anything.

Tia said she didn't know. She admitted, "We may have stayed in the lifestyle, but felt that God spoke through the last man I had sex with."

Ron asked Tia if that last gangbang had been any different from other gangbangs, until that last guy.

She said, "It had been perfect. Eight men who promised to show showed up. They were all well-built, well-hung, and experienced. And I had more orgasms during that gangbang than I usually did. That last gangbang was the best sex I had ever experienced in my entire life."

I said, "And now you don't have sex at all."

"Yeah."

I asked Tia if she regretted her and Tim's decision to become celibate.

"Sometimes, the temptation is so strong that I have to fight it tooth and nail, but God always provides an escape."

I asked Tia what her escape usually is.

"I keep a picture of Tim on my phone, and whenever I feel tempted, I look at his picture and remember that our marriage is most important next to God.

Ron asked Tim and Tia if they were happy in the lifestyle.

Tim said that they thought they were. And he agreed they may have stayed in the lifestyle if that guy had never said what he said to Tia.

Pastor Paul said Tim and Tia had come to see that God was not the focus of their lives and that their happiness was false happiness centered in the flesh and not through the love of God.

Pastor Paul brought up that Tim had and still struggles with homosexuality, and the guilt sometimes drains him. Tim agreed.

Tim said, "My desire to be with men is sometimes overpowering. I can no longer go to the gym for fear of being tempted to look at other men. I also struggle when other men wear tank tops and tight shorts."

Tim said it is a daily struggle for him, but he has faith in God and trusts that God is always with him and has great plans for all of us.

Pastor Paul told Ron and me that he wanted us to meet Tim and Tia because they had been in our shoes and, through God's grace, had found a way to deal with their temptations.

I told Pastor Paul that after hearing Tim and Tia's testimony, it still seemed that had that one day not happened, they would have kept living the life that made them happy.

I told Pastor Paul that Tia missed the sex she had with the other men, and the sex she had with them was the best she'd ever had. The only reason they stopped was that she had sex with another woman's husband who attended their church.

I asked Tim what happened when they stopped having other men have sex with Tia.

"I felt lost for weeks after our last "church" gathering. It was as if my world had been taken from me. After Tia stopped having sex with other men, our flesh desired it, and it was a painful desire."

Tia said, "I felt like I was going through withdrawals, like a drug addict. Sex had become like a drug for me. It was just sex at first, then it fulfilled me emotionally, and then I felt only when I was having sex with other men that I had any value. I got excited knowing I would be in bed with other men when we went to bed at night. Tim would call me and tell me that he was sending someone to the house to have sex with me, and I loved it. I never thought much about it other than how good it would make me feel."

Ron asked Tia how well she was dealing with going without sex.

"I've had to dig into the scriptures and remember that my submission is to be to my husband and God, not to other men, no matter how good they may make me feel. See? Earthly happiness and pleasure are Satan's realm. He tricks us into believing that when sex is fulfilling, it's good, no matter who it is with."

I asked Tia if she had been able to stay celibate since that last "church" day.

Tia was silent for a minute, then she admitted, "There have been times when I have fallen into temptation and enjoyed sex with other men. The last time was two months ago. I didn't know them, and there were three of them. We went to a hotel, and they did me for about three hours. The sex was incredible. They made me feel so alive. I didn't want them to stop, and I didn't want them to leave. I was in my happy place. When I was alone again, I realized Satan had put me there because he knew I wanted it, but it wasn't what God wanted."

I asked Tia if she believed being celibate was God's wish for her and Tim.

"It has to be God's wish because if it wasn't, I would fall back into believing God wanted me to enjoy other men as I had. After all, the sex was soooo good."

Tia sighed deeply. "You have no idea how good it feels to have multiple men's bodies pressed against yours, their hard chests and cocks pushing against you. Their desire emanates from them like the smell of your favorite food. You have to feel them and taste them and consume them. It's like going to a buffet when you're starving. And now it's like I'm living in the middle of the Sahara Desert."

I asked Tia how many men she thought she had sex with in the ten years they were in the lifestyle.

"I lost count at a hundred or so."

I asked Tia how many men she'd had sex with since they "stopped."

She hung her head, then said, "Maybe twenty. Maybe thirty."

I asked Pastor Paul if he felt that God wanted me and my husband to be celibate.

Pastor Paul said that we each have our gifts.

Then he added, "Christ even said that some are meant to be eunuchs."

Pastor Paul paused, then said, "And some aren't."

Tia asked if we could talk on the front patio.

Tia told me that sex with other men may be fulfilling mentally, emotionally, and physically, but it can't fulfill me spiritually.

Tia said, "Being filled by other men can't compare to being filled with the Holy Spirit. Although I am still tempted, I know it is not God's plan for me as a Christian woman."

I heard Tia, but she wasn't very convincing.

I asked Tia what it was like to have sex with other men.

She was silent for a few seconds, then said, "Tim and your husband are the same. They're both gay, and they were not blessed between the legs. Other men are more aggressive and fueled by their passions. When I had sex with other men, nothing else mattered; the whole world seemed right. I was tricked into believing that having multiple orgasms was God's will for me and not a faithful relationship with my husband. The other men, being well-sized, passionate, and full of stamina, didn't help."

I asked Tia, again, if she really believed that God wanted her and her husband to be celibate.

She said, "Tim and I prayed for weeks about it, and it seemed the only way for both of us to resist temptation."

I asked Tia how not having sex helped her to not be tempted to have sex, especially when the sex she had with other men was so good.

She said, "I'm always tempted. I love the sex I have with other men. I still crave it."

While we were talking, a black man walked past our house. We both stared at him.

I noticed Tia was still watching him after I had stopped. I asked Tia if she missed the sex she had with black men.

"More than you know. To be honest, I would love to have that man. He looks so delicious." She admitted, "I do so miss having sex with other men."

I asked Tia what she missed most.

"Their kisses, their caresses, and their beautiful cocks."

Tia said, "Your husband wanting you to have sex with other men is wonderful but ungodly."

Tia paused, then said, "You have to wonder why God would make something so wrong feel so good."

I asked Tia if she really believed that having sex with other men was wrong.

She said, "The Bible says it is.

"But do you believe it's wrong?"

Tia was silent for a minute, then said, "Sometimes I wonder if it really is wrong. We had so much fun, and the sex was always amazing."

Tia sighed deeply. "It makes me wet just thinking about doing it again."

"What exactly was it that made you stop, him being married, or the sex wasn't that great?"

Tia said, "It wasn't the sex. The sex was incredible with him. His cock was thick; it was velvety and hard at the same time. He was a damn good kisser. He was a gorgeous man. He didn't just fuck me; he loved me. That he was cheating on his wife is what bothered me."

I told Tia, "You say you've stopped having sex with other men, but you've been with thirty other men since you supposedly stopped."

She said, "I was his temptation, and that was wrong."

I mentioned that maybe his wife was like our husbands, not fulfilling.

Tia thought, then said, "Maybe you're right. If she was giving him what he needed, he wouldn't have come to me."

"See?" I said to Tia, "Maybe you've been thinking about this the wrong way."

Tia shook her head and laughed. "I wonder who is teaching what to whom?"

I told Tia, "I'm getting a lot of mixed messages."

Tia nodded. "Me, too."

Tia said we should return to our husbands and Pastor Paul,

I agreed but said, "That guy was sexy."

Tia looked down the block. "I would have let him fuck me."

Pastor Paul was talking to Ron, saying that love between a husband and a wife is more than physical love. It's Godly love.

Pastor Paul told me that he thought we had made some progress and that I, my husband, Tim, and Tia should stay in touch.

My husband agreed. I smiled.

Tim told Ron they should get together and be each other's accountability partners.

I told Tia we should have girls' nights.

Pastor Paul said, "Do what you need to do to feel closer to God." Then he winked at me.

I raised my eyebrows and smiled.

When we prayed, Pastor Paul held my hand.

I put his hand to my ass, and he let it stay there.

I wanted Pastor Paul to know that if I decided to have sex with other men, I'd want him to be the first.

Pastor Paul prayed, "God, you know us better than we know ourselves, and you know what we're going to do before we do it. Please give us your blessing and guide us where we ought to go."

Like Tia, I heard Pastor Paul, but he wasn't very convincing. I knew he wanted me, and since he'd brought up having sex with me, it was all I could think about. I knew Tia missed having sex with other men, and so did Tim and Ron. And I had no idea what it felt like to be with another man. I felt so out of place and alone.

Pastor Paul stood behind me, and I put my hand on his swollen cock. It felt massive. He whispered, "I see big things in your future."

I giggled, "Future? Is that what you call it?"

I wasn't sure what Pastor Paul wanted us to learn by bringing Tim and Tia. All I learned was that having sex with other men was amazing and fun, and that Pastor Paul had a huge cock and wanted me.

After Pastor Paul, Tim, and Tia left, I told Ron that Tia really missed having sex with other men, especially black men.

Ron said Tim still seemed to be struggling with his desire for men. I agreed.

I told Ron that Tia told me to remember that God promised never to tempt us beyond what we could handle, and that Tia had very fond memories of having sex with other men, especially black men, and that she admitted it was the best sex of her entire life. And she misses it a lot.

Ron asked me if I thought that God may have brought Tim and Tia into our lives to show us that if we proceed with me having sex with other men, it might mean that it will become how we see ourselves, sexual slaves, not as Christians.

I asked Ron, "What if they came into our lives to teach us how we can both be happy?" Then I asked him to tell me more about the Navy doctor.

He said he missed being with another man. He admitted he felt like Tia must feel every day. I told Ron that was a terrible way to live. He agreed.

Ron and I agreed that Tim and Tia didn't seem very happy, even though they spoke of having God more present in their lives.

I brought up again how much Tia missed the sex she used to have with black men. Ron said that Tim had told him that a day doesn't go by when he doesn't think about wanting Tia to have sex with well-hung black men, or want to have sex with them himself.

I told Ron that I didn't think Pastor Paul intended things to go the way they had. Ron agreed. We also agreed that Tim and Tia seemed happiest when they were reminiscing about the sex Tia used to have with black men.

...

I called Tia today and asked her to tell me more about the sex she used to have and how giving it up has made her and Tim's life better. She told me what they are going through is the most challenging thing they've ever done. She said, "I constantly want sex, and Tim is continually fighting the urge to ask me to do it again. Honestly, he wants to have sex with other men as much as he wants me to."

I asked Tia how God has strengthened her faith.

"I know God's plan may not fit ours, but I know, deep down, that celibacy is the right thing to do."

I asked Tia how she knew that.

"It's His way. It's the way it has to be."

I asked Tia to tell me how it feels knowing that she could have sex with other men, other well-hung black men, and how it feels knowing that if she did, her husband would want her to.

Tia unconvincingly said she was sure her husband didn't want to return to the lifestyle. She admitted, though, that it would be easy for them to fall back into the lifestyle.

I asked Tia what she missed most about the lifestyle.

"I miss feeling wanted, needed, appreciated, loved, and lusted after, and I miss the orgasms."

Tia told me that Tim had always had trouble achieving an erection with her, and there was no actual foreplay other than her going down on him. She said that other men went down on her and liked to, paid attention to her whole body, even her breasts, which Tim never cared about. The other men were passionate, and none of them ever had a problem achieving or retaining their erections, even after they ejaculated in her.

Tia told me what attracted her to the lifestyle and kept her there was how many men wanted her, truly wanted her, wanted to please her, and did so very well. When I asked Tia about her last gangbang, she admitted that when she is tempted, she thinks about that day. She remembers, though, that her actions can dimly affect others, like that one man's wife.

Tia said, "That's what keeps me faithful now, knowing that if I ever did go back into the lifestyle, I could be the cause of another couple divorcing because I had sex with another woman's husband."

Tia said she misses the sex and the orgasms, but she doesn't miss the fact that she could have caused others to fail in their relationships. She said she and Tim struggle just like everyone else, but she knows that God has to be first in their lives and that sex can wait. Tia said that she doesn't think that she and Tim will be sexless forever. She said it was for the time being. She and Tim felt it was best to focus on God and what He wants for them.

Tia also apologized for her and Tim if either of them gave us the impression that her having sex with other men was the only way to true happiness.

I told Tia that God supplies our needs and that he will provide mine.

I felt led to get a better understanding of Tia and Tim's life.

Tia said, "Don't get me wrong. The sex was incredible and very fulfilling, and I do miss having sex with men who are well-sized and very passionate. I also miss the connection I once had with Jesus Christ, which I am currently rebuilding. The thing is, sometimes what Satan makes us feel can feel really, really good, but God has faith in us as we should have faith in him."

Tia said that true love begins with God and ends with God. She said, "God gives us over to our lusts, and we must choose who we love."

Tia said, "I love Tim, but I also loved the sex I had with other men. I know it's wrong to want other men, but some of them are incredible lovers."

I asked Tia what club she and Tim had attended, and she told me.

She said that Friday and Saturday nights are best and that the club allowed single men to attend. I asked Tia why that was important.

"The single men are the ones you don't have to feel guilty about having sex with. You don't have to feel guilty about being with the married men, either, because their wives are having sex with other men, too." Tia paused, then said, "You know, we often let our religious beliefs get in the way of what we need. And we have to decide what's really important."

I asked Tia if she thought that God really wanted us to go without sex and have our needs unmet.

"You know, God gave us our sexual needs, and you and I both know that those needs can easily be met, or at least I know."

I told Tia about Pastor Paul jokingly suggesting that he and I have sex.

Tia laughed. "You think he was joking?"

I asked Tia what that was supposed to mean.

She said, "I've probably said more than I should have."

I pressed Tia for more information.

She said, "He'll change your religion."

I asked Tia how.

"Pastor Paul used to do porn."

"You're kidding me."

Tia sent me a link to a video and had me watch it.

It was true. Pastor Paul had been in porn, and he was hung like a horse.

I told Tia I would call her back and then watched the video.

In the video, Pastor Paul met a young woman at a park, and they went to his or her place.

The young woman sucked Pastor Paul's enormous cock for about ten minutes. Then, Pastor Paul had the woman get on the bed, and he ate her out. By then, I was already masturbating. I watched as Pastor Paul licked this woman's body, finally kissed her, and slid his massive cock into her. I had a newfound respect for Pastor Paul.

I watched the entire fifty-two-minute video. Pastor Paul was a sexual superstar. In the video, Pastor Paul fucked the young woman in every position imaginable. Her pussy was stretched the whole time. And Pastor Paul's cock looked so good. I got off more than once while watching the video and knew I had to experience what the woman in the video had with Pastor Paul.

I still felt lonely. And from what Tia told me, sex with other men can feel really, really good if I let it happen. After I watched the video, I prayed for guidance. I prayed to God for his leadership. I prayed, asking that Pastor Paul lead me in the direction I should go.

I texted my husband and told him I loved him. I had just finished praying when Pastor Paul called me.

"I was wondering what you got out of our last session?"

I giggled. "I got a link to a video from Tia."

"A link to what kind of video?"

"It's called Black and White Bareback Fun."

Pastor Paul asked, "And have you watched it?"

I said I had.

"And what did you think?"

I said, "I think you're in the wrong line of work."

"And what kind of work do you think I should be doing?"

"I don't know," I said, "Maybe recreating scenes you did when you were in porn."

"But who would be my costar?"

"I'd like to audition for the part."

Pastor Paul said, "We are commanded to love our neighbor." Then he said, "Hello, neighbor."