Going Deep Inside Connor Pt. 01

It had been two weeks since I'd had my first guy-on-guy sexual experience with Todd, and I hadn't been able to think about anything else since.

He had texted me a few times after that hook-up, but I had been too embarrassed (and a little bit afraid) to reply, so instead I'd just ghosted him. I'd imagined a million different ways I could've responded to him, but I couldn't work up the courage to reach out to him.

He'd even begun to invade my fantasy life. Every time I'd jerk off - which was also more frequent than ever before - all I could imagine was the two of us together. I was in a state of constant horniness and denial; I tried to force myself to fantasize about the girls I had been with in the past, or to watch the porn that usually turns me on, but nothing worked. Every time I'd close my eyes and touch myself, all I could visualize was Todd - his gorgeous smile, his tight muscular frame, his amazingly thick cock and his smooth hairless balls.

I was plagued by a combination of not wanting to admit how much I'd loved being with a guy and not wanting to admit to myself what that must mean - I must be gay. It was all just too overwhelming.

And then one crisp autumn day I was sitting in the campus cafeteria eating a late lunch when I heard a voice call out my name.

"Connor!" it said, and I looked up to see Todd with a huge, radiant grin on his face. He approached my table and sat down across from me, his own lunch on a plastic tray. I felt my face flush and then drain as all the blood in my body seemed to rush down to my groin.

"How you been, man?" he asked as he started eating from a plate piled high with salad greens.

"Good," I answered sheepishly, squirming to adjust the throbbing boner that had erupted in my pants. "Really good. You?"

"Oh, you know, same old shit."

He paused for a beat and as he began to say "What have -", I interrupted and said over him, "I'm sorry I -"

We both stopped short, so I took the lead. "Listen, man, I'm really sorry I never answered your texts."

"No sweat, man. I get it. That was probably a lot for you."

In all of my imagined versions of this scenario, that was the best response I could've hoped for: no judgment, no anger, just a sweet and gentle understanding of what I'd been feeling, without me even having to say it out loud.

I had a lump in my throat as I simply answered, "Yeah. It was."

"I remember my first time with a guy," he said between bites of his food. "I was probably too young and definitely nervous as fuck, and he was a few years older and way more experienced. I knew since I was little that I liked guys as much as girls, but I never really expected to have sex with one. And our first time was not as good as what you and I did!"

I had to smile and his kindness and I felt my eyes getting misty, but I held back from actually letting a tear slip through.

"It's just so confusing, you know?"

"I get it, man. I do," he answered. "But I bet it's not as complicated as you think."

"What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Well, you probably think that you're totally gay now, right?"

I nodded.

"So let me ask you this - do you still want to have sex with girls?"

I nodded again.

"What about other guys? I mean, other than me?"

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Maybe?"

"Okay, then you 'may be' gay. But if you still like chicks, then at most you 'may be' bi. Or you're 'may be' just curious."

I listened in silence as he laid it all out, the knot in my stomach was finally relaxing after weeks of self-imposed tension.

"Dude, we hooked up one time!" he continued. "It's not like you have to base the rest of your life on that day, right? I mean, we're not getting married, for fuck's sake. Lighten up and go easy on yourself. It's college - people experiment. It's completely normal and not something that has to define you."

He returned his attention to his salad and let me stew on that nugget of wisdom. The tension in my gut was slowly slipping away, and I felt myself finally relaxing, just like he'd told me to. It was all so simple and obvious that I began to feel like a fool for not having seen it.

Without meaning to, I let out a crazy belly laugh and smacked my own legs. Todd looked over at me with that smile, and I felt suddenly and completely at ease.

"Wow," was all I could manage. "I feel like a real idiot, man."

"Hmm?" he asked.

"I've been obsessing over that day for the last two weeks! I haven't been able to think about anything else. I even started watching gay porn!"

"Awesome!" he answered. "Hey, tell me something." He dropped his voice low and asked, "Do you think about me when you jerk off?"

"Ha!" I blurted. "Every. Fucking. Time. It's been driving me crazy!"

"I love it!" Todd laughed. "Just to be fair, I've thought about you a lot, too." He smiled that sexy grin at me and added, "I was even a little hurt that you ghosted me. But I didn't want to pressure you, so I let it go."

"Yeah, man. Sorry again about that."

"Well, anyway, I'm glad we finally ran into each other."

"Me, too," I told him with a smile.

"So, not to be pushy or anything, but would you maybe wanna..."

"Really?" I asked. In all those imagined scenarios over the past weeks, the one that always ended up in my fantasies was this one, where the two of us get together again.

"Fuck yeah, man. Only if you really want to - again, no pressure. It's just that I had a lot of fun the last time, and I think you did, too..."

"Can we go get a drink first?" I inserted, maybe a little too eager, but what the fuck, right? "Then back to your place?"

* * *

I had intentionally limited myself to beer at the bar, and I didn't know if Todd was also keeping his sobriety in mind, but he'd followed suit, so when we finally made it to his house we were both slightly buzzed but still had our wits about us.

The off-campus house where he lived was just as sprawling as I had remembered, and since it was early on a Friday evening, most of his many roommates weren't home. We passed just two other guys on our way to Todd's room, and he greeted them each with a silent nod as we passed them in the hallway.

Once inside his room, he turned on the light and told me to make myself comfortable. His room was huge and arranged almost like a hotel suite, with a couch and TV on one side, separated from the bed by a long dresser that divided the room. I took a seat on the couch and took off my shoes as Todd went into the bathroom. Through the open door, I could hear the splash of a long, loud piss in the toilet, followed by the sound of the sink running for a long time.

"Your turn," he announced as he re-entered the room. I stood and crossed to the bathroom, then hesitated inside the door. Would it be rude to close it? I wondered. But I knew that I wanted to do a little more than just pee, so I finally decided to take the risk.

I felt a sense of relief when I noticed the shelf above the toilet with a pile of neatly folded linens on it. I grabbed a clean wash cloth and dropped my jeans and underwear down to my ankles and stood in front of the sink. I wet the cloth and got it lightly soaped up, then began washing my cock and balls. With the front bits taken care of, I turned my attention to the area that I was most concerned with. I turned my back to the mirror and watched over my shoulder as I soaped up my ass crack, paying extra attention to my hole and the taint. I gave them both a good scrubbing and then rinsed them with the cloth until everything felt clean.

I took a deep breath, pulled my pants up, and tossed the washcloth into the small laundry hamper in the corner. As I checked around the room to make sure everything was in order, it struck me that I had been in the bathroom for a long time. Just as a sense of panic began to creep in, I remembered how long Todd had taken, and then hoped against hope that he'd had the same thought as me and had also cleaned himself up.

When I entered back into the bedroom, I learned for sure that my guess was right - Todd was sitting on the couch naked, his legs spread wide and his hands on his thighs.

"Get those clothes off and come join me," he ordered in a firm yet gentle way.

Without a word, I undressed as I crossed over to him, adding my clothes to the pile on the floor where he had already tossed his own. As I stood before him in all my glory, he grinned and commented, "Looks like you've been manscaping!"

I grinned back as I approached him. "I never thought about shaving my balls until I saw yours - it looked super sexy! Then I noticed the guys in those gay porn videos mostly had shaved balls, so I gave it a try." I lifted my raging boner by its tip and modeled my smooth sack for him. "You like it?"

Instead of answering, he grabbed me by the hand and pulled me down next to him on the worn leather and we started making out. His kisses were penetrating but gentle, and his hands roamed across my body, caressing me all over. I followed his lead and explored him with my hands, intentionally avoiding his cock, not wanting to rush things.

After a wonderful few minutes, he broke away from me and leaned back. Looking right into my eyes, he asked, "Is there anything particular that you were hoping to do tonight?"

I had to break eye contact with him, even though he had clearly gone out of his way all evening to make sure that I was comfortable. Even so, the idea of putting words to my deep dark fantasy was tough.

"You don't have to be shy, Connor. I want you to have a good time, so if you know what you want, just ask." Then he added playfully, "Or should I guess?"

I smiled and looked back into his eyes and said, "I'm sure you'd get it in one try."

"So it's ass stuff, then?"

I nodded my head and he kissed me again, then asked, "Have you ever done anything down there? I mean, besides the little bit we did last time?"

The fact that he remembered that he'd briefly tongued and then fingered my asshole last time immediately put me at ease.

"No, just that. And I've been doing a little finger stuff when I jerk off..."

"That's a good start," he said as he stood from the couch. He took my hand and led me over to the bed.

"Todd?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it gonna hurt? I mean, a lot? Or a little bit? You're pretty big..."

He kissed me and smiled. "First off, you're bigger than me - did it seem like you were hurting me last time we fucked?"

"No," I had to admit. In fact, as I recalled, the harder I went the more he'd liked it.

"If we're doing it right, it shouldn't hurt at all; at least not in a bad way! So, if anything I'm doing ever hurts, even a little bit, you gotta tell me."

He lay down on the bed and told me to sit on his chest, facing his feet. I straddled him and he grabbed my hips, then pulled me closer until my balls were just below his chin. He spread his legs, bent his knees, and planted his feet on the mattress.

"Bend forward and hold my knees. And relax. You're gonna like this!"

I did as he instructed and felt him grab my ass cheeks and spread them apart, then a warm slippery wetness slid from the base of my balls and up along my ass crack, then back down to the hole, where it lingered and flicked around delightfully.

"Oh, FUCK," I groaned. I had seen enough rimming videos to know that the slippery wetness was his tongue, but I never could have imagined just how intense the sensation of having my ass eaten could be.

He didn't speak again for a long, blissful eternity. He focused all of his attention on probing my asshole with his tongue, and occasionally with a fingertip, as I writhed on top of him. My knuckles were white as I grabbed onto his kneecaps for stability, and I was so completely enveloped in ecstasy that I almost forgot there was a person beneath me. He altered between rapid tongue flicks and tentative finger probing, followed by deep thrusts of his tongue into my ever-loosening asshole. It felt like his tongue was a foot long as he pressed it into me, and with each passing minute, I fell deeper into ecstasy.

Eventually, he slowed his tongue work and turned his focus to getting a finger inside me. Now that he was moving on to that step, he was mindful of my inexperience and told me exactly what he was doing, giving me a play-by-play that caused my already throbbing cock to pulsate with each beat of my heart.

It's all a blur now, but I remember bits and pieces of his narration:

"I'm gonna use my thumb, first."

"This is my index finger; it's about halfway in."

"Does this feel good?" (he asked that a lot!)

"Let me know if this hurts."

And, finally, "Now I'm gonna add a third finger."

That may have gone on for five minutes or an hour, I couldn't tell you either way, but I can definitely say it was the most amazing physical experience of my life. I had no idea it was going to get even better...