Open House Ch. 10

John never comes to my office, so what's he doing showing up now with a bag of some sort? "He probably feels guilty because we didn't talk this morning, so I bet he brought me lunch or something," I say with uncertainty.

"What are you gonna do?" Tina says, her face flushed.

"Well, I don't think now is the time for him to see us together and any minute he's gonna find out I'm not there and call me."

"Tell him you're out to lunch with a client... because you are." Tina starts the car and slams it in gear, whipping her way out of the parking lot.

My phone rings exactly as predicted. I give a cold stare to Tina as I slowly answer. "Hey babe."

"Hey, I'm actually at your office right now. Are you here?" John asks.

"Oh gosh babe, I wish I would have known. I just left with a client for lunch. Is something wrong?"

"Oh, uh... no I just... it seemed like you were having a bad day, so I thought I'd come meet you with lunch."

Aww, that's nice babe. I'm sorry I missed you. Let's catch up later then, alright? I really can't talk now." I say, cutting eyes at Tina.

"Okay, yeah. That's fine. But... just real quick, um... who is Kris?" John asks, sounding a bit suspicious.

"Who is Kris?" I say and Tina's head whips to me, and burns me with laser eyes.

"Donovan!" she mouths quietly at me in anger.

"Kris is - my client babe. That's the client." I say unconvincingly.

"But why do you have to have lunch with him?"

"Because she offered. Babe, Kris is a woman." I grin meekly at Tina and she rolls her eyes in relief.

"Oh, gotcha. Well that's cool then. I was just checkin' on ya', you know? Heh." John says with a chuckle.

"You're checking on ME!? Oh, okay then, well--" Tina whacks me, preventing me from delivering the harsh comeback I was winding up. "Well... well, no guys around today, so I think you're safe, babe." I recover.

"Alright. Now I'm embarrassed they had to hear that. Tell them I'm sorry for interrupting."

"Okay, talk to you at home," I say abruptly, rushing him.

"'K, love-you-bye!" John blurts quickly, and I end the call.

Tina immediately comments, "Wow. What a liar."

I've heard that statement from John so often that I just accepted it without question. But now I'm being forced to consider... what does it really mean? Does he actually still love me, or is he just carrying on an act? I ponder quietly for a moment and Tina notices.

"I have an idea. Let's go to my house instead," she says with a smile.

"What? Really? How far is it?"

Tina starts checking traffic and changing lanes. "It's not far. I just don't feel like sitting in a restaurant right now."

"I don't know. I just don't want John to--"

"Becca, your husband just fucked me. So I don't think you have to worry about him right now. You're a big girl. You can do what you want." Tina says sternly with a beaming stare at the road ahead. As I sit without responding she notices the silence. "Look. I'm sorry." Tina ponders a moment, then, "I just want what's best for you - to take care of you... that's all."

I know she means well. And I must admit I'm curious to see where she lives. And don't think for a moment I've forgotten what was going on before the phone call. I'm pretty sure that's the very thing that influences my next decision.

"I am actually free for the rest of the day." I say blankly, not looking at Tina. I catch her quick head turn to me out of the corner of my eye and can tell she has a giant grin on her face - causing me to grin right back.

* * *

Tina pulls up to the security gate of a luxury home neighborhood I know well. I've been here numerous times and can't believe I've never seen her before. As we proceed into the neighborhood we turn into the luxury townhomes section, where smaller - well, small-ish - homes are connected together in distinguished looking buildings arranged around a gorgeous landscape.

"I know this neighborhood well, and I'm quite impressed. I can't believe I've never seen you in all my times here." I say.

"I figured you'd know it. But I haven't actually been here that long. It's an investment property I owned that I decided to move into. It's okay, but not that impressive really."

Inside I'm not surprised to discover modern elegance, just like Tina herself. Everything is in it's place - even the things you forgot you needed, causing you to go 'Oh, that's a neat idea' at every turn. After a moment I realize I've been in "realtor mode," analytically processing the details of her house. But now I am hit with a strange emotional gravity, like I'm exploring a forbidden inner sanctum. It takes me back to my college days of getting to know your crush and I almost have a silent panic attack. What the fuck am I doing here? I remember that life is no longer business as usual and I force myself to be conversational.

"Tina, even your sneakers are lined up by the front door. How do you do it?" I say baffled by anyone who doesn't have a random sweatshirt balled up on their sofa.

"Oh, don't even give me credit. I have a maid and I'm not ashamed to admit it."

We take off our shoes and Tina shows me to a sunken living room with enormous white fluffy couches, then disappears for no more than a second before returning with a Martha Stewart grapes, cheese, and crackers board in one hand and chilled white wine bottle in the other.

"What the hell, Tina?!," I exclaim at her magic trick.

"I'm just hungry and I don't want to wait for shit to be made. I hope this is okay."

I'm in heaven and silently mouth my approval as I stuff it.

We watch each other eat for a minute, and I have to smile. It's obvious both of our brains are whirling with thoughts, but we don't know where to start.

"I know I need to confront him, but I don't know how. I mean... the moment I do I'm saying everything I have built in my life has to end. It's just a lot to consider. It's almost like avoiding confrontation means I can keep my life a little longer."

"So keep it."

"Huh?"

"Becca, you know I can tell, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Tina."

"Let me preface this by saying that I know this is not how you wanted things. I do understand. But there's something about my being with John that... I don't know... intrigues you."

"What?! He's my husband Tina!"

"I know and you're right to be angry. But you have to admit that every time we've talked about it, we've ended up getting all hot and bothered."

I stare at her in disbelief. That's just not true and I can't believe she would even suggest it. I'm not the one who opened the door to this relationship in the first place. It was her idea. All I could do is sit and watch it happen. And suddenly the gears lurch to a halt in my head. That's what I did. I watched. I didn't have to. I could have objected at every opportunity, but I didn't. I can't blame this on Tina. I'm the one who allowed it to be true. I sit with this and I am suddenly afraid of who I have become.

"Oh my god, I think you're right. I'm a horrible person."

"Don't be like that."

"No. I am. Not only did I allow a woman to sleep with my husband, but on top of that it's my friend who I put in a bad position. And then, I have to go an make it weird.

"You didn't put me in a bad situation, I offered. And... I think I can say this to you now... sleeping with John was definitely NOT the hard part."

"Very funny." I say sarcastically.

"I'm actually really glad you allowed yourself to experience things this way. You have a special way of looking at relationships and it's refreshing."

"You mean weird."

"No. You're a very caring person. And I think it's normal for someone like you to like hearing about people being together."

"That's not it," I say after popping a couple of grapes in my mouth as I stare up at the story in my head playing out across the ceiling. "... I'm jealous."

"Becca, it's okay to--"

"Of John."