Things We Want But Can't Ask For

Hello! This is my first erotic story ever. It is relatively simple, just hoping to dip my toes in and get some feedback. I have some ideas on how to continue and expand it, if there is any interest. Please leave me feedback in the comments!

***

These kinds of things were not the usual place I would find myself on the weekends. However, I had been insistently pestered for a week and a half that this was the kind of party that I could absolutely not miss. It was, after all, our ten year reunion, well, not really but it was being put on by some of the people who would be planning it. By nature I was more of a shy, quiet type more likely to spend an evening in doing something by myself. But, the truth was, that I had been finding my loneliness a little louder than normal lately. My friend who invited me was Peter, we'd known each other since high school. It was the kind of friendship where we would go months or years without speaking, then someone would reach out and we'd pick up like nothing had changed. I sometimes felt bad that I hadn't kept up with my friends from school, but with how things had gone the past few years I feel like they would understand.

The fact that ten years have passed has me more sentimental than I thought it would.

I thought about the people I would see there, if anyone I knew would be there other than Peter, or if anyone would even remember me. I hadn't really seen anyone else from high school in the years since.

These thoughts were all racing through my mind as I got ready. Right up until the text that Peter was here to pick me up I was thinking about canceling on him. It would be lame, but he knew that I was prone to impulsively bailing like that. Normally I would have driven myself so I could leave if I wanted to, that wasn't a option for this one because apparently the location was kind of out there. This only put me more on edge, but it was too late now. I was dressed up in my best tux... well, my only tux, actually. And he was here.

I came downstairs and exited the apartment, where I saw his car. He drove this ridiculous muscle car that I was honestly kind of embarrassed to be seen in. I felt a little like I was his date or something. As I opened the door he sat there, an excited grin on his face. "Damn, dude, nice suit." He was dressed similarly. "You're going to impress hella girls, for sure." I smiled. Again, it was as if he had never really grown up. Part of that was how his life had gone after high school, part of it was my own reservations from having my life nearly fall apart. I put the thoughts out of my head and sat down. "I mean, isn't that the entire point? Why else should we go to something like this?" He laughed, easily and heartily as always.

"See, Emmet this is why I like having you around."

The drive up is a little scary, but then again what drive isn't with Peter. And it was true that the place was out in the middle of nowhere. We drove on one of the main roads out of town, then past where it was nice and straight by the new developments, and beyond that to where the road became winding and entering the foot hills. Just when I was about to start asking how far it was, and the small talk was getting agonizing because of my burning desire to ask the question, we arrived. The driveway was directly off the road, with a fancy gate and everything. The gate was open and there were indeed many other cars. Despite how many there were already, I could see why the host wouldn't want everyone to take their own. "Looks like it's already kind of a rager." Indeed, the music was so loud that we could already hear it over even the outrageous stereo in Peter's car. I wondered just how much of a good time I was about to have.

He parked, and I got out to see what the situation was like. There were a few other people arriving around the same time as us, walking up to the house. I felt a wave of relief wash over me seeing them similarly dressed up. It was a two storey house, built in that kind of classic style with wood paneling and shingles. It looked like the house was blue with white trim. There were lights strung along the eaves, slowly shifting from color to color, which had an interesting effect when combined with the lights emanating from inside. I could also tell that there was a backyard that had a lot of people in it as well. We walked up, and Peter opened the door.

There stood a woman about our age. She was about my height, with bright red hair, obviously not a natural shade. Her makeup was done in a bright, attention-grabbing style with large, fake eyelashes and tiny hearts skillfully drawn on her cheeks. She eyed me for a second before her attention went to Peter. This was normally how things went with him. He was much more taller than me, and while I wouldn't say he was more attractive he was just more confident and so he got more attention. "Hey Peter!" She seemed really happy to see him. She put her arms out, and with her dress hugging her the way it was it really made a statement. Peter leaned down to hug her, offering a returned greeting. I looked away, embarrassed. She looked at me again. She had piercing blue eyes, large, and kind of set far apart but in a way that made her look like a graceful deer. She was wearing a slinky party dress that had a sort of corset-like top part.

Wow, she is gorgeous.

"So... this is..."

Her gaze lingers firmly on me, until I finally had to break the eye contact. "Oh, shit. Sorry. This is my friend, Emmet." Peter seemed a little confused. "He went to high school with us."

Again, this was something that happened a lot. Peter knew a ton of people in high school, to the point that we would walk around campus and people would stop him all the time. I would ask who that was, and he would say he didn't even know. He was popular, but not in a stuck up way. It was really the only way that we could be friends. Whenever we hung out nowadays, people would remember him but not me. Part of that was a blessing to me, since I was very different in high school.

She's so beautiful it hurts to look at her.

I looked back, not really meeting her gaze. Eye contact has always been hard for me but harder when the person is so attractive. I realized I was acting a little weird so I forced myself to meet her gaze again, and it was already there waiting for me. The feeling of it sent a jolt in my heart. She had a funny expression on her face. Something like happiness, or a friendly smile, but with a smirk under the eyes. "Hi Emmet, it's nice to meet you, my name is Kara... Oh, come on in guys! Here, what am I even doing? I'm such a bad hostess."

She ushered us in, her hand somewhat forcefully gripping my wrist and dragging me in. Heat bloomed in my cheeks, hidden by the lights of the interior. Loud dance music was blasting, filtered through the alarming amount of bodies shoved in here and their voices trying to talk over the music. Soon enough, a drink is shoved into my hand. Kara is standing there, staring at me again. She seemed to almost say something, when several people called her name from the other side of the house. "Ah, I'll be right back. You two have a good time."

Almost instantaneously, Peter was gone. "What... where..." I spun around, looking for him, but in the dim lighting it was impossible to find him. Fuck.

I pounded my drink, then made way to the kitchen to get another. I may as well start now.

The party was a chaotic, roiling mass of people dancing, playing drinking games, and doing other things that typically can be seen at these kinds of events. Though, I myself had not really been to these sorts of things. It just seemed to fit what I had heard.

I feel like in the course of my life I have missed out on some core developmental phase where I attended these parties and learned what to do... or to actually enjoy them.

I wandered around aimlessly, second drink in hand. Eventually I found myself outside, where the vibe was more relaxed. People were standing around passing a joint from person to person.

Might as well.

I sidled up to the circle, where I quickly learned they were talking about the loosely connected topics of zodiac signs, crystals, aliens, and other new age stuff. I vaguely recognized some of these people, probably from school, but I didn't know anyone's names. I had to really stop myself from saying anything rude, at which point the join appeared in front of me. I took it. I had, of course, tried weed. I just had never smoked it. I took a small puff, then another, and passed it on. I stood there for a while until I felt it kicking in before adding my own thoughts, unprompted, based on science but wrapped up in enough spacey jargon to make it somewhat more palatable. This seemed to work somewhat, but they quickly went back to talking about the vibrations of natural fibers and other nonsense. I didn't wait for the joint to return.

I finished my second drink, not really feeling much.

Another conversation was going on about local politics, which I again hovered around. One participant was arguing with another. He claimed that poor people shouldn't get "handouts." His opponent seemed to be advocating for free bus fare for children in low-income areas. Typical again. A beer appeared in my hand and I took a seat.

The evening passed by with some more uneventful conversations, and even the occasional person joining me on the outdoor plastic sofa to have a brief chat.

I headed back inside. The tone inside was more subdued now. As I wandered around both inside and outside I caught glimpses of Kara, staring at me from across the house. She had this inexplicable look on her face, like she was trying to figure out a puzzle. I had this urge to speak with her, but there was an impenetrable wall. I couldn't just walk up and talk to her, could I? Not after the awkwardness at the door. I looked away, my face growing hot.

"Who are you?"

"What do you do?"

"Do you live around here?

"How do you know Kara" and on and on.

At some point the energy started to wane. People were leaving. Others were passing out. I headed back inside, where a few people were making out in the darkened corners of the house and grabbed some water. I hoped to find Peter and get out of here, or in the worst case he would eventually just find me and I'd have to drive us back. But that's when I found her instead. The kitchen was totally empty. She was standing there, across the bar, as if she knew I would come in that way. Her eyes found mine, and pierced right through me again. Her eyes burned into me. I looked away.

"You don't remember me, do you?"

The question hits me like a sucker punch. I stammered, desperate to place how I may have known her. "No, I'm sorry..." My face flushed again. She smiled. "It's okay, I look a lot different than I used to. We had a couple classes together... you know, the ones for 'problematic' kids? And it's not like we ever really talked before, at least not much."

I did remember now. So, despite me barely knowing her she knew more about me than most of my friends. I tried to hide that part of myself away these days. Back then she had been much more awkward, hiding behind long, messy hair. Not like her much cleaner, more put together appearance now. I had harbored a little crush against her even then, but of course I was too shy to say anything. Not much different than now. We chatted for a bit, remembering some funny things, some not so funny. Just as I had forgotten some things, she hadn't remembered others. At some point she had gone around the island and leaned on it, next to me. Her hand began to lightly brush my arm.

The conversation lulled, we were just discussing how I never really went to any house parties. I hovered there anxiously, not sure what to do or say next. When I looked up, she was still watching me. "You know, it's not very nice to spend the whole night at a party and not say hello -- even once -- to the hostess. And I know you saw me. When you caught my eyes you looked away, that cute blush on your face. Are you afraid of me?"

She closed the distance between us, her fingers brushed against my jacket, then my shirt. "Because you don't have to be."

I struggled to find something to say, my throat felt dry. "Come here, listen," she said, her hand lightly touching my chest. I wondered if she could feel my heart pounding. "I bet... you kept avoiding me because you wanted to talk to me, but just couldn't. You were going to walk out the door and let another chance slip by, but you don't have to."

Her hands traveled up my jacket to the tie around my neck. "Look, if I'm wrong... then just shake your head. We'll forget anything I just said. If not... just nod your head, handsome."

I nodded. She smiled. "Good boy." The words slithered into my soul, and I felt myself get a little hard, a little bit wet. I feel a little surprised that they have such an effect on me. I knew I had a submissive streak, but I didn't think I was this desperate. My neck flushed with heat. "If words get too hard you can always just nod your head or shake it." Her eyes tried to find my own. "But I want you to look me in the eyes." Her left hand left the tie, then cupped my chin, guiding my gaze to hers. "Eyes on me, handsome," she said in a low voice. "Do you want to come up to my room?"

Is this really happening? I feel like I'm in a dream.

"Yes," I whispered, nodding at the same time, the dreamlike feeling only getting more powerful. She smiled wide, her right hand trailed from the knot of my tie and grabbed the end, leading me out of the kitchen to the stairs. There were guest bedrooms on one side, doors closed save for one which was slightly ajar. Her heels clicked on the tiles, and I watched her walk like a predator in them, and that dress only accentuated her wolfish prowling. Suggestive sounds emanated from the guest rooms. She led me around the stairs, to the other side of the second floor where the master bedroom was. It was decorated tastefully with houseplants, art nouveau prints, and fairy lights. The whole room was awash in a warm, red-purple light from the salt lamp on her desk and some concealed LEDs. Her four poster bed had a canopy of lace. The hardwood floor was covered with a large, rich area rug. She brushed past me to shut the door, locking it from the inside. She bit her lip, looking into my eyes again.

Her hands tugged on my tie, which felt tighter and tighter each second. "I know you're nervous. There's nothing to worry about. You don't have to impress me, I don't care about what your body looks like. All I want..." She pulled me closer. "Is your obedience." Her fingers gripped around the knot of the tie, pulling on it again. "I think you're going to give that to me nice and easy. You seem like such a good boy, but you just need a little guidance. Put your hands on my waist and kiss me." I leaned in, eyes closed. Her tongue ran against my lips, jolting me back a little due to the surprise. Kara pulled me in, wrapping her free hand around my neck. I shivered at her touch; it had been a long time since anyone touched me, and then again, I had never been so... claimed by anyone. Her tongue pushed through my lips, playing with my own. She pushed me back, holding onto the end of my tie. "Such a sweet kiss, from a sweet boy." She smiled. "I always knew you were sweet."

Her eyes were burning into me again. "Now... I can feel you shaking. I'm going to be in control. Is that okay? I promise I'll be gentle. Just remember, if there's anything you don't like, just shake your head. I'll be watching the whole time. Nod if you understand." Her fingers brushed up against my throat, then gripped the tie. I nodded. "Then... kneel for me, handsome."

I did as she asked, my throat felt so tight and closed up. The fabric of my shirt collar and the tie burned against my skin. Kara was standing over me in her black skirt and corset, looking down like a benevolent goddess dragging me to the underworld. I felt like I wanted to do anything to make her happy, to please her.

Looking up at her sent me into a space inside my head. Somewhere far, far away from anything else. Her right hand kept a hold of my tie, her left caressed my cheek, ruffled my hair. It traveled back down, her thumb caressed my lip. Kara put a gentle, insistent pressure on my lips. "Open," she breathed. I parted them so she could put her thumb in my mouth. She pressed down on my tongue; her skin was smooth, and I could taste the faint hint of salt. Her gaze held an air of excitement, but also reserved control, and a bit of something that read a little like disdain to me. I whimpered, totally involuntarily. Her eyelids were low, her mouth slightly open. She gasped happily as my tongue rolled around her thumb, but the movement was entirely instinctual. Kara's other fingers wrapped around my jaw, squeezing slightly. She adjusted her footing, her heels clacking on the hardwood, gently brushing against my bulge. That had to be on purpose, to tease me. I groaned quietly at the feeling, the insistent pressure. I took my eyes off her, looking at her heels, and I remembered that she wanted me to keep eye contact with her as her hand insistently pulled my face back up. "You like my heels?" Her voice was deep, rumbly. Just above a whisper. "We can keep those on. Do you want that?"

I nodded, eyes still on her. Her thumb pressed deeper into my mouth as she let out an excited trill. I swallowed a little, feeling her invasion taking hold of me.

"Unzip my skirt."

My hands fumbled around, reaching up to her lower back. I found the zipper, and pulled it down. She did a sexy shimmy to get the skirt to fall, and it pooled around her magnificent high heels. They were all black stilettos. Her legs were clad in lacy nylons, with garter belt and her underwear matched -- an excitingly see through black gossamer design. She swept the skirt away with her foot. "You like my outfit?" She withdrew her thumb from my mouth, rubbing it along my lips. "Say it," she commanded.

"I like your outfit."

"Say my name."

"K-kara."

"'I like your outfit...'" her words were dripping with desire, and a thick pause after each word, instructing me to repeat after her.

"I like your outfit, Kara," I finally managed.

She squealed excitedly, biting her bottom lip. "I like your outfit too, sweet boy. You look amazing in that suit." She pauses, taking a deep breath. "You look amazing on your knees, so obedient for me." My cock was drooling in my pants, I could feel it running down my thigh. I couldn't help it, I parted my lips and sighed. "Oh, you're so excited. Aren't you?" She grinned evilly. "Reach up and take my panties off."

I did as she asked, they slid down over the garter belt effortlessly. I could smell her excitement, it made my head spin to think about her being this excited at seeing me submit for her. The panties were so delicate in my hands, feeling the heat of her skin and the lightness of the panties drove me nearly crazy, but I managed to slide them over her hips. Her hand quickly shot to my neck, gripping slightly. "Don't get too ahead of yourself, but..." she squeezed. "Take a good look." She dragged my head closer. She had a small, neat patch of hair. "Take it in, handsome boy." I breathed deeply, enjoying the earthy, sweet smell of her arousal. "Do you like it?" She let go of my throat.

"Yes..."

"'Yes, Kara,'" she said.

"Yes, Kara," I repeated.

She pushed me back, onto the rug, my back against the footboard. "I'm going to fuck your face, handsome. But I want you to hold onto my panties. You can touch my pretty high heels, or my legs, if you want to but you need to keep those panties on you, do you understand?" Her hand was back on my tie. I nodded, her eyes drilling into me again, my face hot. Her other hand caressed my hair. "Come here, obedient boy." She pulled my face forward with the tie, like a leash, and wrapped one leg around my back. My face was right up against her body, nose buried in her pubic hair. I reached out with my tongue, teasing her. She sighed as I began trying to find the right rhythm. She would pull on the tie, directing my mouth where to go. In one hand I kept the panties, like she asked, but the other I gripped her leg, caressing her thigh. Kara began to buck her hips, grinding into my face, the whole time her eyes stayed on mine. "Oh you look so cute down there," she moaned. "You're doing so good, handsome boy."

My heart soared at her affirmations. I kept my efforts up, feeling my pants tightening by the moment. My hardon brushed her ankle, and those shiny stilettos.

Before too long I could feel her leg tightening its grip. She shifted it so it was behind my head, pulling me in tighter. I tried adding some suction while I ate her pussy and she responded with gripping my hair. "Oh, yes, good. Good boy," she moaned, her hips bucking wildly. She mashed my face into her harder, as I felt her body quivering and she finally shouted out my name. When she was done, she released my head and I sat back, gasping for air. "Oh, was that too much?" Kara's hand caressed my face. I shook my head. "That was so good, my sweet boy. You did so good." Her hand was on my tie again, pulling me up to my feet. "But now I want you to get undressed. I want to see your body."

Kara helped me out of my jacket, then loosened the tie a little. She undid the buttons of my shirt, then we tossed it aside too. I had to admit I was reluctant, but she ran her hands along my sides, my chest, making me feel desired in a way that I hadn't in some time. The tie remained. I went to undo my belt, but she put her hand over mine, and slid it down to cup my groin. "So hard for me..." Her eyes were staring into me again. "Just from eating my pussy." She had this devilish look before she pulled me into another kiss. Her hands undid my belt, then my fly, and I kicked off my shoes as she pushed me back onto the bed. I stared helplessly as she reached for the tie again.

"This stays on. Sit back, I'm going to reward you for your precious obedience. I'm going to let you cum, but you have to wait until I say, alright?"

Kara was grabbing at my underwear before I could even think, I raised my butt off the bed, and they were off. My hard cock flopped free, already wet. "You leak a lot, handsome. I like that." She purred as she caressed my thighs, parting them slightly. She gathered up some spit, and let it dribble onto my length. I groaned, already really sensitive before her hand even touched me. She began to stroke it, clearly enjoying how excited I was. Her hand cupped my balls, fondling them playfully. Even as she did that she bit my thigh, making me whimper. "Oh, I like that, sweet boy. More beautiful noises." Her teeth grazed my skin again, where I was most sensitive, and I melted for her. Before long she redirected her mouth to my shaft, her hot, wet tongue slid up and down the sides. She paused at the tip.

"Tell me what you want, handsome."

I lifted my head up. "I want..."

The words came out like lead. My mouth was clumsy, and I could barely make the right sounds. She just sat there expectantly, her hand on my balls absently trailing down farther than I had expected.

My voice was high, whimpering. "I want you to suck me... My dick..."

She smirked. "Anything for my handsome boy," she replied, parting her lips. I yelped as she slid her lips up and down my length, repeating the motion each time just as before, sending fire up my core. Kara's mouth and throat made these noises, ones I never heard before, but felt deep in my gut. Just as I was going to have to tense my muscles, she stopped, letting it out with a wet pop. "Who do you belong to?" I felt like I was dazed. I looked down at her between my thighs. I didn't answer her fast enough, so she climbed up onto the bed, repeating herself. "Tell me who you belong to."

Soon she was over me. "I belong to... you. To... Kara." Her hand reached for my throat. The other inserted two fingers into my mouth, gripping my tongue, sliding down deep. I gagged. "Mmm." she hummed atop me. "Do you want to be mine? Say it."

I tried, but she was gripping my tongue. She looked so cruel atop me in that moment, but somehow so safe and reassuring. Her fingers withdrew, slick with my spit. She gripped my cock with them, stroking it gently. "I want to be yours," I said, looking away. She gripped my throat.

"Then open your fucking mouth, handsome."

I opened wide. "Tongue out."

I did as she asked. She gathered up her spit again and let it all out into my waiting mouth. Her hand squeezed my dick at the base, making my hips buck. I curled my toes as her warm spit entered my mouth.

When I opened my eyes Kara was staring down at me with deep, warm affection. I was shaking all over.

"Do you want me to fuck you?"

I nodded.

She lined up, and I felt my head on her wet lips. "So, so wet for me. Dirty boy." Slowly I entered into her, she kept her hand on my throat the entire time. My toes curled as her thighs came to rest on mine. Her other hand scratched down my chest, tweaking a nipple on the way down. She released my throat, running her hand through my hair as she laid down on my chest and began to ride. We kissed again, but I was beyond sense at that point and it was sloppy. She didn't seem to mind. Her hands found my wrists and pinned them to the bed. I almost lost my grip on her panties. She was pounding her hips into mine, like a machine. "Say my name," she cried out.

"Kara!"

"Who owns you?"

"You do."

Her hand abruptly released my wrist, and slapped me, which took me by surprise. Tears welled up in my eyes as the heat bristled across my skin, but she grabbed my wrist again and leaned in to kiss them away. Her riding became a desperate grind, keeping me buried inside. I whimpered, coming close, and she raised herself up as she felt it coming. "Don't you fucking dare cum yet, especially not when you've been so good so far." She suddenly got up, climbing over me to sit on my face as she faced towards the headboard. Her hand grabbed for the tie, using it to direct me again. She wildly ground on my face, moaning loudly. It was hard to breath, and she could tell, but that seemed to make her more excited. It made me more excited too.

"Oh, you're being so good for me."

My hands gripped her thighs, running down to her high heels. She had kept them on, like she said. I felt like I could live there forever. I didn't want it to stop.

"Taste my ass, worship it."

I hesitated, but it was so quick that I shifted my head back and let my tongue run a little farther. She squeaked, maybe not expecting me to do it. "Oh, dirty, dirty, obedient boy," she moaned between breaths. Her nails made marks down my chest again, until she gripped my sides, almost painfully and came to another orgasm on top of me. Her hips pounded my face, trying to get all the friction they could as she cascaded over the top. Finally, she let go of the tie and laid on her back.

"Come here, sweet, obedient boy." She had the sweetest smile on her face. I met her where she was at, and lined up to enter her. She pushed me back, grabbing the tie.

I nodded. "Give me the panties," she said. I looked surprised, I had almost forgotten. They were still in my hand. I gave them to her, and she said "Open." I opened my mouth and her fingers were there again, but this time shoving the panties into my mouth. The feeling of the fabric on my tongue, against my teeth, took some of the edge off, with a weird static electricity feeling running down my spine. I forgot about it soon enough. Her legs wrapped around and she pulled on the tie, beckoning me into her. I felt such relief at being hers again. She slowly ground her hips into mine as I thrust. Her free hand scratched my head, neck, and back gently. As I picked up the pace, her nails dug in more and more. "Faster," she huffed. And I complied. "Harder."

Her hands felt like fire against me, and she pulled me into her embrace, just to bite my shoulder. The tie cinched around my throat as she yanked it back,. "Cum for me," she said into my ear, and I couldn't help myself. I came hard, buried deep inside Kara. As the waves of pleasure rolled over me, she stroked my back. She whispered in my ear that I was her good boy, and how obedient I was. We were both so hot, sweaty, and exhausted. But she kept me there, and stroked my hair. "Sleep, good boy. Sleep." She pulled her panties out of my mouth.

I murmured a protest, but she gripped me hard and pulled me into her.

The next day, I awoke in her arms, still naked except for the tie. She held it in one hand. As if noticing I was awake, Kara opened her eyes.

"Good morning, cutie..." she looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was early still. "So... there's probably a ton of people downstairs still, why don't we go get breakfast for us and bring back platters for everyone else? First... we can shower. Does that sound good? I also..." suddenly she seemed shy. "I also want to... I had a good time, and I'd like to do this again. With you."

I looked surprised. "I... I would like that." Her hand gripped my chin.

"But you have to keep your eyes on me, handsome," she said, smiling.