"Guilty Pleasure"

I laid my dear Rhonda to rest. 28 years of marriage, with so many milestones in between, and suddenly she was gone to the sky. I never imagined my forever with her being cut so short, but here it was, me and our four children putting her in the final resting place prior to going on with our lives. Rhonda and I got together at a time where my life was in shambles. I'd just lost my mother. At 30, I made a career switch from electrical engineer to education. I earned my degree, and transitioned to being in the classroom when I wondered off the bat if I wasn't cut out to handle the students. I thought teaching was my calling until I encountered the attitudes of the students, as well as the attached baggage that had me wondering if I made a bad life decision. The coolness of Rhonda stirred me in, for she was at the school five years prior, and showed she was much respected by students and staff alike enough to give good advice.

"Stay the course," was the words the English teacher uttered from her pretty lips.

Rhonda's demeanor, and that New Orleans accent, won me over the first time she mentored me. She taught me how to teach the kids, and ultimately came into my life at a time where I was in a fog, dreaming of struggle..

"You have to handle the kids with care," she told me during another meeting between us.

The next day I asked her out to lunch, and we sat in the cafeteria amongst the other kids while our bond strengthened. Regular lunch dates became dinner dates, dinner dates became us spending the night at each other's homes, then eventually she decided she wanted to be mine exclusively. Things were on the up, and she would become pregnant with our first son. We married, and things seemed to strengthen even more as I found my soulmate in this petite woman. We lived life everyday like it was our last. The 26th year of our marriage would be the time she was called about "lumps." The scare became real, but she remained a stanchion in the storm, while I was going wild on the inside. My wife told me just three months before perishing that she wanted me to find love elsewhere.

"The kids are grown, and you need to venture out," she told me as I sat beside her hospital bed.

I wasn't too sure what she was saying until the day she left us. Me and the kids were bedside, watching her take her final breath as they all wept, and I remembered what she stated. I remained the strong one, and made all the arrangements for her disposition to allow the kids to mourn. I cried alone, and honored her memory by smiling every chance I got during the funeral. My loving wife was laid in the grown, and I held in all my emotions. The kids surrounded me, I embraced them the hardest, then others approached me, all giving me my well wishes. The repast happened at the church where my wife was celebrated. The gym hosted the event of food and fellowship, and people congregated while I was sitting alone, taking it all in.

"Manny, you have to know that if you need anything, I'm here for you brother," said the pastor.

"I appreciate that pastor," I replied to him.

"Jeff. Call me Jeff, Emanuel," he said as he gripped my hand with an extra firmness.

He walked off, and I watched him in his expensive, high dollar suit before he turned his back to wink at me. "Jeff" was someone I had to keep an eye on. He had the hots for Rhonda once, and even tried to flirt a couple of times before I let it be known he was completely out of bounds. He never "tried it" again if she was in my presence. He was a great preacher, but character flawed as a man of the cloth, for he had a tendency to "color outside the line."

"Emanuel, I just want to thank you for allowing me to send Rhonda off the right way," he texted hours later.

I was home alone, with my tie off, and shirt open as my feet were kicked up on the bed. I was eyeing home videos with my wife, contemplating the good times while receiving such a message at a brazen hour of the night.

"I appreciate you, pastor," I would reply in kind.

"I appreciate you, Manny," he answered, and kicked off an entire conversation about "supporting" me and the kids.

"Jeff you could relay this in the morning," I told him.

He called my phone, then apologized for messaging me at such a late hour.

"And yet you go the lengths of hearing my voice," I asked.

He countered by saying that he "didn't mind hearing my voice."

"As long as you're in good spirits," he added.

I should've gotten off the phone, but the pastor things around as he reminisced on my wife. I warned him, telling him to "watch it" as he was checked before, for I sensed he had lewd thoughts of her.

"She was my sister-in-Christ," he mentioned to cool off my response.

We discussed her contributions, for she was a deaconess, and lead of some ministries over the years. Many of the other women respected her, and she carried herself with a certain dignity that couldn't be mimicked by any other congregation member.

"I loved her," I told Jeff.

"As you should," he replied, then suggested he come over to ensure his "brotherly support."

I for some reason didn't turn him down, and he would be at my place at damn near midnight. I let him inside as I noticed a downpour was happening at this hour. He came in, took off his coat, then followed me to the couch where I'd offer him a beverage.

"Rum and Coke will do," he replied as I stepped into my personal bar to make it.

I of course ended up making two, as I, too, needed a drink. We toasted to Rhonda, clashing glasses then discussing the way forward since Rhonda left big shoes to fill.

"I've got a few prospects for the roles she carried in church," he said.

I agreed to all the names, for I cared less about vacancies being filled for ministry leads, as my beloved wife was gone from the Earth.

"Will you be fine here alone," he asked next.

I responded "yes," and let him know I'd heal better by not being bothered by individuals constantly looking to provide solace.

"Just know I'm always here for you, brother," he told me as his right hand rubbed my left knee.

I looked down at his appendage, and noticed he rubbed me in a sensual way. For some reason I didn't push his hand away, perhaps it was the liquor working through me, or it was the fact I hadn't been touched like that in years. He removed his hand, then finished his drink before I offered a second round. Suddenly I didn't want to be alone, and his company seemed to work like First Aid to a deep wound that would linger for the rest of my life.

"I can stay a bit longer if you need me to," he said to me in response.

I made a second round of drinks, and ended up barely talking to the pastor as we watched television. I reclined in my seat, and noticed he looked at his watch before telling it was 2 a. m. in the morning.

"If you must leave, then let me call you an Uber," I said to him.

He looked me in the eye, and reclined his part of the couch before I felt his right hand covering my left.

"I don't think you want me to leave," he mentioned.

I looked down at his big, strong brown hands as they rubbed my skin. I then looked up to his eyes, and he smiled, before looking away at the television while his hand remained on top of mine.

"You mind if I sleep on the couch," he asked.

I grinned.

"You'd do better sleeping in the bed," I told him as a feeling came over me.

The alcohol, and the slight urge to not be alone in bed took me over out of nowhere. We made eye contact before he'd wiggle closer to me until he leaned over, and our lips would meet. My heartbeat was rapid as I grabbed his tongue with mine, with my left hand clasping his right to share a blissful kiss between us.

"What the fuck am I doing," I asked as he and I were being intimate.

I stopped kissing.

"You didn't like it," he asked, as he seemed shook from the abrupt interruption.

I didn't answer the question, and I let go of his hand as I figured I was the one who did something wrong. I tried to pull away, and he followed me, this time aggressively planting his lips on me again as he wouldn't let me move any further. I loved the feeling we shared, and the breath between us as I was in this particular mood for the first time with another man.

"Don't pull away from me," he said as he was straddled on top of me.

"I want you," I whispered to him.

"And I want you," he said, before he admitted he'd wanted me all this time.

I thought about Rhonda, and for a split second thought I was betraying my wife. And there was no way the kids could know I was kissed by another man. There was no way they could know that me and the pastor, a trusted man in their lives, had the hots for me especially after Rhonda wasn't cold in the ground.

"Feel my heartbeat," he said as he grabbed my hand, and placed it on his chest.

He used his other hand to caress my crotch, then looked down at it, smiling as he realized he made me extremely hard.

"Let Pastor Jeff take care of you," he asked as he pulled on my pants zipper.

I gripped his hand, trying to show him I didn't need to be serviced by another man, but he insisted.

"Let me make you feel good," he said to me.

This esteemed gentleman managed to get my fly open, and slipped his cold hand inside as he stroked this dick, then massaged my balls shortly after. I bit down on my bottom lip as he massaged my middle while kissing me on the neck. I felt his tongue travel across my skin, and then he whispered for me to raise my hips as he wanted to take my pants off.

"We don't have to do this," I said to him as he was pulling off the garment.

He raised off of me completely to yank the pants, before he tugged on my underwear. I raised my feet completely, giving him full access as he had me naked under my belt out of nowhere. I spread my legs, and he got on his knees, crawling as he kept eye contact before his nose made it to this big, black dick.

"You need this," he said as he stuck out his tongue, and landed it under the tip of my dick to lick gently.

He swiveled it side to side, brushing against the rim, before he pushed back on this dick to lick the veins. His tongue traveled as low as the middle of my nut sack. I dug my fingers into the couch as he licked me, then he opened his lips to take in my tip, before my dick head, and forged his head downward.

"Oh man," was all I could say as this governed pastor was giving head to me in the wee hours.

The guilt I felt all but disappeared, and I was getting this man to do me at my most vulnerable time, and do me in such a way my toes curled. Jeff had no issues sucking on this seven inch cock. He moaned and dropped saliva from his mouth as he used it to glide his face up and down my member. His lips tightened, and he worked a little harder as the slurping sounds increased in volume.

"Take that nut," I repeated again and again as he had me close as quickly as Rhonda ever did.

"What are you doing to me?"

His hand covered my balls as they felt rock hard against his right palm. He corralled them, and used his lingering pinky to rub my taint while bobbing his head in savage form. I kept warning him he had me close, and began groaning the last time his tongue massaged the back of my tip.

"Oh my God, pastor," I whined as it felt unreal to feed him my semen.

The sensation was unlike any other when I'd gotten this dick sucked, and Jeff, who was sweating at his brow, didn't lose one drop when he let go of my stiffened member.

"You finally gave up that nut," he said before he reached in to kiss my sensitive balls.

"And good gracious, you cum a whole bunch."

I let him know that it's been months since I got off, for I was too focused on taking care of my wife vice having a jack session.

"You drove me crazy," I told Jeff as I was still somewhat in shock.

"Get your rest," he said before warning he would want another climax.

He remained on the floor a bit before taking off his clothes, then demanding I get on the floor, laying on my back with my legs open so he could siphon yet another load. Jeff left the next morning with my cum on his breath, and pledged that I could always "count on him when I needed to relieve this type of tension." I looked at the sky, thanked Rhonda for "understanding," then started my day.