Lessons in K-pop Ch. 01-02

Hello, and welcome to my new harem series. This series is centred on the magical world of K-pop. This story has a more human setting, without the fantasy elements of my other harem series, Succubus: A Soul Shared. The only fantasy at play here is the dream of potentially being devoured by an entire K-pop group, which is a dream I am sure many people have had over the course of their lives.

I'm posting chapters 1 and 2 together because I feel like they act as a sort of pilot and jump off point for the rest of the series. The story is written in English, but with the idea that a lot of the dialogue is happening in Korean. If you've seen the TV show Shogun, it's similar to the use of the English language used by the actors representing Portuguese in universe. I can do all the research in the world, but I'm not going to become fluent in Korean anytime soon.

One thing to note is that the girl group and major characters in this story are all fictional. There will be references to real world groups, but this is not a celebrity or fanfiction story. Real idols will not be prominent and they certainly won't be involved sexually. All characters are 18+.

This is the story of Thomas Parker, who returns to South Korea as his half-Korean daughter Anna pursues her dream of becoming a K-pop idol. Anna's mother was a famous idol during the early days of K-pop, and she is desperate to follow in her footsteps.

I think this story may jump categories at times, but we'll see how it goes. Another note, incest will not be one of those categories. Anna will not be involved sexually. I hope you enjoy!

**

Chapter 1

Tuesday-Wednesday 9th-10th June, 2026

**

Incheon International Airport.

The flight took around twelve and a half hours. I was getting too old for it, even in business class. The tickets were complimentary on this occasion. I was never going to turn down a freebie. The agency was out to impress. I wasn't going to let myself be so easily seduced, but it was a nice treat.

My father-in-law met us at the gate. Anna ran past me to jump into her grandfather's arms, leaving behind her baggage trolley. He was a big man, broad, and still in good condition, but she had to start being more careful with him. I couldn't remember exactly how old he was, but he must have been pushing 70. I'm better at birthdays than ages. Chae-min would have told me off for forgetting.

I only had one suitcase. God knows how my daughter had managed to fill three. We didn't know for sure if this move would be permanent yet. I wasn't going to sell up back home until we were sure, and my brother would look after our place in the meantime. I wasn't looking forward to all the admin if we decided to stay, nor the journey home to pack the rest of our life away.

"Appa," I said, giving my father-in-law a big bear hug. I used honorifics with my in-laws until the wedding, but they've just been mum and dad since, in either language. That was their decision. Both of my sisters-in-law have husbands, and they still use the honorifics. I would joke that I was the favourite. Chae-min would joke that her parents were just sick of my bad pronunciation, so they made it easier for me. I could hear her teasing ringing in my ear. "How are you doing?"

"Better with you both here," my father-in-law answered. He spoke in his second language. His English was a lot better than my mother-in-law's. Both of them had gone out of their way to learn, first for me and then for their granddaughter. Anna had been born here, but raised back home. We used the OPOL method with her up until her teenage years. One parent, one language. I communicated with her in English, while her mother spoke to her exclusively in Korean.

"How was the drive?" Anna asked.

Our daughter is close to fluent in her mother's tongue, but she hasn't been using it as much the last couple of years. I like to joke that hers is worse than mine, but that's barely a joke. I am still fluent, despite it being over a decade and a half since we last lived here. "The drive was good. Not too long. How was the flight, sweetheart?" her grandfather said.

"It was pretty good," Anna answered. "I slept through half of it, watched a couple of movies and listened to some music."

"Lucky you," I said, pulling up alongside them after retreating to collect her luggage trolley.

"You can fall asleep in any position on the sofa, but can't manage a couple of hours on a plane," Anna teased, making me scowl. I just couldn't fall asleep on those things. We had been back and forth on those long haul flights since she was born, and it never got any better for me. I never got used to them. I wasn't scared. I could just never get comfortable.

"The sofa isn't in the sky," I said, and the two of them laughed.

We packed our cases into the car, and started our journey to our temporary home. We were going to be staying with the in-laws for a little while. If we decided to stick around, we would get a place of our own. I was pretty confident we would be sticking around. I would miss my family back home, but this wouldn't be my first time making this move. It was the right decision then and it would surely be the right decision this time around, as well. Anna was my priority, and she wanted to move here and pursue her dream of being an idol. It runs in the family, after all.

Anna is 18 now. I was never going to be able to stop her. I didn't want to either, but it's a tough business, and part of me wanted to protect her from it. I was still keen on her finishing school first. We had moved away for good reason, and built a happy life in London. She had friends there, and didn't seem all that interested in following in her mother's footsteps until she was a teenager. She wanted to be an astronaut first, and then a veterinarian and an actor, in that order. She took to dancing from a young age, and we always assumed there was a chance she would fall into it at some point. As she got older and learned more about her mother's career, she fell in love with the idea of becoming a performer.

We were thinking of moving back when she finished school, and letting her start as a trainee, but her mother was very ill at the time and plans changed. She was even offered the chance to appear on a survival show that would form and debut the next big girl group, but turned it down. She wasn't going to leave her mum at that point. Her dreams could wait.

I was proud of my little girl, and the woman she had grown into.

"Your grandmother cannot wait to see you," Sang-hoon said. My father-in-law had always been a slow, careful driver so it was probably going to take us close to two hours to get back to their apartment, especially if traffic was against us. They had been living on the east side of Seoul for a few years now, in one of the Seongsu-dong neighbourhoods in Seongdong district. It was a nice area, essentially a little self contained peninsula with the Han River to the south and the Jungnangcheon tributary to the north. The Forest Park is nearby too. I love a stroll down the river and I love a stroll through the forest, so it's the ideal spot for me. If we end up buying our own place in the city, we won't move far.

"Feel free to speak Korean, Appa," I said, teasing my daughter. "She needs the practice."

"I do not need the practice," Anna said, looking back at me from the front passenger seat she had stolen from me. "I can't wait to see her, and everyone else. Dad is still dragging his feet and pretending we might not stay, but we all know we're going to stay."

"Don't get ahead of yourself," I said.

"Your father is right, uri Anna," Sang-hoon said. "We want you to stay, but only because you love it, and you won't know that until you do it."

"Mum loved it," Anna said.

My father-in-law tutted a few times. "Your mother disliked parts of her trainee years, and she disliked parts of everything that came after that. She loved it so much more than she hated it, but you have to be prepared for everything. The most important thing is that you do everything you can to enjoy it, so you don't look back with regrets."

"Have you two been planning this talk behind my back?" Anna said, giggling. "That sounds an awful lot like something that my dad would say. Did you script it together?"

"Your father is very wise, and he has seen it all first hand," Sang-hoon said.

"Your grandfather is also very wise," I added.

It was my daughter's turn to tut, but she was a smart girl and she always bowed to our greater knowledge on the industry that had defined her mother's teenage years and early adult life. "I get it, one day at a time," she said, but she was also stubborn and she wouldn't give up the fight too easily. "This is the perfect chance though."

"We'll decide together if it's perfect," I said. She was an adult now. I couldn't actively stop her if the company didn't look right to me. We had agreed to make that call together, but in her heart, the decision was probably already made.

"I want to debut with Eclipse," she said. Eclipse Entertainment was her spiritual home. Chae-min and her fellow group members had helped build that company into an entertainment behemoth after their debut. The people in charge now were desperate to debut the daughter of their most famous idol. "You can't say there's anywhere better for me. Xinyi will look after me, too, so there's nowhere safer either."

"Xinyi will get a chance to argue her case tomorrow, and then we'll decide," I said.

"Before then, how does bulgogi bibimbap sound?" Sang-hoon asked.

It sounded really good.

**

The rest of the car journey home was spent reminiscing on the good old days. I suppose it's hard to avoid that when you've lost someone. The times when they were around look so much better, simply because it's true. They were so much better. I was doing my best to make everything else as good as it could possibly be for our daughter, but we both knew it was never as good as it could and should have been.

Choi Chae-min, my beautiful wife and the love of my life, passed away on the 12th October 2024. Two years since her death is fast approaching. It feels like ten days, and it feels like decades, all at once. Chae-min was 37 years old when she passed. It was breast cancer that got her. We went down every route we could find. Nothing could stop it.

I haven't coped well. It just happened so quickly. The speed at which it spread keeps me up at night. We were talking about moving back to her homeland when she got ill. Anna was going to start as a trainee somewhere, and pursue her dreams. We had basically fled when we originally left. She chose our family over everything else. She still wanted to come back when the time was right. The time was almost right, and it was taken from her at the last second.

I miss her more than words can express.

She was the idol of a generation and the first superstar of K-pop. She was the most popular member of the most popular group. She was a multitalented star of stage and screen. Everybody fancied her, but nobody fancied her as much as me. The government announced a day of mourning when she passed and flew flags at half-mast. She would have hated that, but it shows the impact she had.

It's funny in a way. Some of the same people who shamed her for getting pregnant and pushed her out of the industry and country were the first to pen tributes and mourn her a generation later. Media personalities and politicians, you name it. I never forgot their names, nor did we acknowledge their heartfelt condolences.

Chae-min and I met in the last year of high school. I was arguably a little bit of a koreaboo back then. Memories of Murder, directed by Bong Joon Ho, was released in 2003. It was horrifying and captivating and it started an obsession with Korean cinema. Oldboy, directed by Park Chan-wook, was released later that year, which only added to the fire. I wanted to be a filmmaker back then. Life has taken me in a different direction, but those were my favourite films at the time and they convinced me that the best place to continue my education was in South Korea.

I planned to attend university in Seoul. This was before the time of the famous Hanlim Arts School, which didn't open until 2009, which would have been my first choice if the timing was right. University was still a while away though, which made me look for alternative pathways. I found an exchange programme that would get me into the country for the final year of high school instead, and worked on convincing my parents. They wouldn't have been able to stop me from moving abroad for university, but high school was different. I wasn't 18 yet. Thankfully, they were convinced, with the help of my eventual host family.

I moved to Seoul in March 2004, at the age of 17. A year of high school would be enough to show me whether this was the right decision, and if it didn't work out, a university course back home was waiting for me. The benefit was that because of the differing school calendars, I was able to skip the end of Year 12 in the UK to start my final year in Korea instead. I just had to fast track my way through some exams and give up my summer break. It was stressful, but worth it. My host family were incredible, and still close friends to this day.

Choi Chae-min and her family lived next door. The rest is history.

Language learning is a skill of mine. Korean isn't the only additional language that I speak. I got to grips with it pretty quickly, but the school that I attended wasn't an international school. It was a public arts school, which meant the lessons were in Korean. Chae-min and all of her fellow trainees from Eclipse Entertainment were students there. I wasn't completely fluent during that first year, so it certainly helped that the pretty girl next door was really good at speaking English.

Chae-min was a sweetheart right from the start. We walked to school together, and practiced our languages every day. She took notice of me first simply because my birthday was a day after hers. She liked that she was older than me, and made me call her noona, the honorific for a younger male to an older female friend. I fancied her straight away. She knew, but didn't tease me about it.

Chae-min integrated me into her friend group, which was mostly her fellow trainees. I became close friends with all of the girls she would eventually debut with. I became pretty fascinated with the industry. K-pop wasn't the shining star of Korean soft power that it is now, but it was on the cusp of breaking through. They used to sneak me into the company headquarters for dance practice and singing lessons when we were just friends. The creative director back then didn't mind. She was a sweet old lady, who really cared about the girls.

Chae-min asked me to be her boyfriend on the 6th December 2004. She turned 18 on the 4th. I turned 18 on the 5th. We got together on the 6th and then had sex for the first time on the 7th. Probably the best four days of my life at that point, but she was perfect, so she made every day after that better than the one before.

The company had strict rules on dating back then. I can't say for sure how strict it is now, but it's still clearly frowned upon and kept secret, especially for debutants. Idols can have 10 year long careers and never have a single public knowledge relationship. Some fans even believe the 30 year old idol they adore is still some angelic virgin. I promise you that most of them are fucking. I have seen it with my own eyes.

It is all a part of the product, of course, and the idols themselves are that product. Idols were expected to present themselves as sweet, innocent, dutiful rule followers who were always perfectly behaved and devoted in all moments to their group and their fans. They had to appear as if they were single, read available, to some of those fans. It's typically a loud minority who become obsessive, but the companies kept feeding that minority, and they grew in influence.

There were other elements that played a part as well, such as the branding of the group or the idol individually, and the fact that a relationship can obviously be a distraction to their career. We knew that last part all too well. Our daughter was a product of it. Chae-min getting pregnant probably set the industry back a few generations when it came to dating. I hold my hands up and take my share of the blame on that.

The whole time we were courting each other, she was training to debut. I knew there was a chance my girlfriend would become a celebrity overnight, but the debut came around even quicker than we expected. The company was struggling financially and fast tracked the girls first release because they needed a hit. We graduated high school towards the back end of February 2005, and they debuted within a few weeks.

Chae-min debuted as part of the group Girlcrush. She hated that name more than you could possibly believe. There were four members. She was joined by Xinyi, Hayoon and Cyan (real name Si-an). Chae-min was the lead vocalist, centre and face of the group, but all of the girls were supremely talented and went on to prove that over long and successful careers. The first release was the hit that the company needed, and at a moment's notice, they were all thrust into national stardom.

2005 to 2007 were non-stop for the girls. They were releasing new music every few months, learning choreography, filming music videos, appearing on variety shows to grow their individual and group brands and so much more. I started a film production course at university, and kept on secretly dating my girlfriend. Some in the company knew about it, and some of those tried to convince her that leaving me was for the best, but most turned a blind eye to it. We had to be careful, but we could have been more careful. She was never that worried about getting caught. There were rumours throughout her career that she had a boyfriend, and that he was a foreigner. There were plenty of people who didn't like that aspect too. She was supposed to be the golden girl of South Korea, and that symbol wasn't supposed to fall in love with a random white boy.

The girls all lived together in an apartment which they called a dormitory. It was a two bedroom, so they shared in groups of two. They used to sneak me in all the time, and we got pretty good at that. I wore some incredible disguises. I thought her career would be hard on our relationship, but it never was. She was devoted to me, and proved it every single day.

Chae-min found out she was pregnant during the late summer of 2007. Girlcrush were into the third year of a seven year contract at that point. We had a very serious discussion about what we were going to do, and she was certain that she wanted to start a family with me. She didn't want to wait, and she wasn't going to let the company dictate her life.

The announcement felt apocalyptic. Choi Chae-min was dating a man, pregnant with his child and going on hiatus until after the birth. It's not the industry's biggest scandal anymore, but it was number one for a long time. She actually worked until she was about four months pregnant, and still filmed some content after that as long as her stomach was covered. Everyone knew she was pregnant and it was still treated as taboo. The company didn't even want to announce it at first, and questioned whether they could get away with a fake injury or illness hiatus and keeping our baby girl a secret. She had no time whatsoever for that idea. She wanted to be an inspiration for people who wanted to have both a successful career and motherhood alongside it.

The tide had already turned against her though, and she was public enemy number one in the eyes of a media class who were setting the tone for how future generations of idols would be treated.

The timing of the pregnancy was also quite unfortunate for the group as a whole. Chae-min was on hiatus from winter time in 2007 through to the summer of 2008. Wonder Girls and Kara debuted in the first few months of 2008, and suddenly the girls had some fierce competition. Anna was born on the 22nd April 2008. The production team were rattled by the debut of rival groups, and planned a summer comeback. Chae-min was rushed back ahead of her recovery schedule, and had difficulties performing in a post-partem state. Girls' Generation debuting later that summer only added to the trouble.

Chae-min was the subject of so much vitriol and a constant witch hunt, and it started to affect her and the other members, and our family too. My identity had been made public and media sleuths were trying to find out the big, dark secret that would out me as an enemy of the people. Chae-min battled through it for the rest of 2008 and into 2009, but eventually she decided it just wasn't worth it. She had already lived her dream, and she had formed new ones in that time. It was time for our next adventure.

Chae-min left the group, and Girlcrush continued for a while as three, before a permanent split as they all went off to pursue their own personal goals. Their success had brought Eclipse back to the forefront of the entertainment industry, and they debuted a successful boy group soon after to keep the good times rolling.

We wanted a fresh start, and though there were plenty of tears about that decision, we decided to do it in my homeland, away from the noise. I had already graduated from my university course. London was calling. The London Borough of Sutton specifically, to begin with. My hometown. It's not quite Seoul, but it was a nice place for us to relax and enjoy life together for a little while. We got married in 2010, and had weddings in both countries.

We moved into the city itself when we were ready to get back to work. Chae-min had left K-pop, but she hadn't left music. Our first few years back home were spent raising our daughter, and writing songs. I might have moved to South Korea to pursue film, but it was music that went on to define my career. We loved collaborating and songwriting together, and spent our years in solitude learning the art of music production and sampling. We built our name writing and producing for a collection of pop stars in the early 2010s, but my wife was a singer and she was always going to return to that.

Chae-min released her first solo album in 2014, and it kickstarted a successful second career in music, this time singing in her second language for western audiences. She released three more albums in the decade that followed, each to critical acclaim and award season success. Her growing popularity led to the country of her birth desperately trying to reconcile with her. She didn't rush back home, but over the last few years of her life she started to spread her wings. Girlcrush reunited for a one night only showcase in 2022, and she starred in a K-drama in 2023. There would have been more if she didn't get ill, and we were going to move back before too long.

Anna was destined to follow in her mother's footsteps. We just never expected to be returning without her.

**

Seoul was so full of memories, and they felt more vivid than ever before. Driving home took us past places we spent time with friends, or out on a spontaneous date when she snuck out of her dormitory with the help of the other girls. I saw billboards with her face on them. I didn't even know she was still the spokesperson for brands, almost two years after her death. I probably needed to talk to lawyers about that one. My in-laws lived in an apartment that she had never lived in, but they had her stuff there, and pictures on every wall.

Dinner was lovely, as always. My mother-in-law, Sun-young, is a hell of a chef. The family owns a restaurant. They never expanded beyond one establishment, but they upgraded location from the outskirts of the city to the centre as and when they could. Both husband and wife work in the kitchen, and the kids were all expected to put in a shift as they were growing up. They even put me to work during my first couple years in the country.

Chae-min has two sisters, one older and one younger. Both are still happily married. Ji-eun is the ultimate protective big sister. She sat me down like a mafia boss when I started showing interest in her sister, and laid out her expectations of me. She's got two kids of her own. Yoo-jin is the baby of the family. She's the most religious of them, which comes from her husband. She doesn't annoy me with it, but she mentions heaven every time we talk. I hope it's real. I want to see my wife again. I'm just not convinced. She's got three kids. Anna is the oldest of the cousins, and she dotes on all of them and is desperate to be an even bigger part of their lives.

They all settle down on day two of the visit, but the first day is always a lot of checking in with me and talking about my welfare. I'm always glad when it's over, and they start treating me like normal again. I do love them all dearly. Along with my own family, they were a pillar of strength for me when Chae-min was ill. I should have been just as strong for them.

I was relieved to get to bed eventually, after not getting any sleep on the flight. It still took me a couple of hours to pass out.

The main headquarters for Eclipse Entertainment are located in the Cheongdam-dong ward of Gangnam district. It was probably less than 5km walk from my in-laws apartment, and only a couple stops on the subway, though you would need to change from the 2 line onto the 7 line. Anna wanted to try the metro system out, because it would be her preferred mode of travel if she ended up joining the company and becoming a trainee.

We left about an hour before our meeting, giving us plenty of time to make our way over. Anna was pretty nervous, but there wasn't really anything to be nervous about. She just wanted to make a good first impression. It wasn't a job interview though. They were chasing her. She just wanted me to be satisfied about the situation, and content with the contract she ended up signing.

"Do people ever recognise you here?" Anna asked, as we made our way back up to ground level after a quick hop on and off the subway.

"Very rarely," I said.

"You're pretty famous," she argued.

"I was infamous for a while. There's probably a few fans of your mother who could pick me out of a crowd, but that's it. Would you recognise Bernie Taupin if you saw him?"

"Who is that?" Anna asked.

"Exactly. Elton John's co-writer. Your mother was the star. I was just happy to carry her bags."

"You should give yourself some more credit," she said.

"I got credited as a producer or writer on the songs she made famous, and a fair few others we gave away to other people. The royalties on those tracks are all we need," I reminded her, but that wasn't enough to stop her.

"I think you should start writing again. Deep down you miss it, and you still have so much to give. Mum wanted you to continue."

"I'm not in a rush, darling," I said. I was in even less of a rush that she could fathom. I'm effectively retired for the time being, and maybe for all of time. "I'm quite enjoying doing nothing, for now."

My daughter relented for a while, and we made our way to the company building. The Eclipse Entertainment headquarters wasn't actually one of the ghosts of my past. They had moved studios in the years since we left, so this was new ground for me. "Ready?" I asked, and she nodded, but she stopped short of the entrance. "Not ready?"

"Maybe not," she said.

I guided her to a bench nearby, and we sat down. "What's up?" I asked.

"I want to be here and doing this, but you have to give up so much to chase your dreams and it's just upsetting me. I don't want to leave my friends and our family back home. I want to be in both places at once," she explained.

"I know the feeling. First it was me and then it was your mother. We went through it on different sides of the world, but we went through it together," I said, trying my best to comfort her. "I'm here with you now, and there's half of your family here who have been desperate to see more of you, and they will make you feel just as loved as the people you'll miss. Everyone back home is so proud of you for coming here and pursuing your dream. I did the exact same thing over 20 years ago. If that doesn't happen, you wouldn't exist. In 20 years, you will look back and realise it was a leap of faith that you had to take."

"That was a pretty good argument," Anna said, even if it didn't perk her up right away. "Will you tell me the story about the day that I was born?" she asked, which made me laugh.

"The real one?" I asked, and she firmly nodded. "Do you actually want the real one?

"I thought you were saving the real one for my wedding day?" she said.

Anna's birth story was a long running joke in the family. There wasn't much reason for it, just a bit of fun we had. She asked to hear it plenty, but never got the truth. The stories we came up with were so nonsensical at times that the real story was sure to be a let down, but the plan had been to save it for her wedding day. In that moment though, it felt as if there was no better time.

"I'll have a million more stories by the time you're married. I'll tell you the real one," I said. Her eyes widened and she sat up excitedly. "You were born in the Samsung Medical Centre, here in Seoul," I said.

"So, not in space then?" Anna giggled.

"No, the space race had mostly died down at that point," I said, grinning at her. "Being the first baby born in space would have been very cool though. You were born here, and not in space, and not in a barn, and certainly not on stage at a show."

"I always used to think you were so deep in the stories that even my birthday might have been wrong," Anna said.

I laughed, but shook my head. "I think that's the one truth of it. 22nd April. You were due about a week before that. Almost everyone was in town because we were expecting you earlier. My parents were here waiting on you, and they ended up getting a much longer holiday out of it than they planned. One of the big secrets actually, is that you were even more late than expected. Your mother kept this one a secret for your wedding day, but she wouldn't mind me telling you now."

"Oh no, what happened?"

"She was in labour for 23 hours."

Anna gasped, and laughed. "No way!" she said.

"Yes way. She was going to tease you with that when you got married, and tell you she went to hell and back just to give birth to you. We thought we were getting you on the 21st."

"Did she let you sleep?"

"I passed out a couple of times. There were a lot of people there to cover for me. Do you want to know the funniest part of the story?"

"Yes please."

"Your mum was close to a week late, so we were doing all sorts of things at home to try and induce labour. Lots of walking around the flat and exercise ball bouncing, maybe even a little bit of kissing..."

"Oh, shut up," Anna said, grimacing.

"That does work!" I argued, but the kissing wasn't a true part of the story. "There were too many people around for that anyway. She was eating and doing the right things and it just wasn't happening. We were all cooped up at home, going crazy with boredom and expectation and eventually she was just doing a little show and tell, trying on some of her old stage clothes to see how they fit with the bump. She was dressed up in one of those costumes when her waters broke, and she had to go to hospital looking like she just got off the stage at the MAMA Awards."

Anna was dying laughing, and it was contagious. I started laughing too, thinking back to her mother's face when she looked down at the pool of water between her legs while she was wearing this bright red two piece, covered in glitter and all sorts of accessories. "She must have been mortified going in like that," she said.

"She wanted to get changed so badly but everyone else there practically carried her to the car to get her to the hospital as quickly as possible," I reminisced, still laughing at the memory. "One more thing you should know before we go in. The labour went on for a long time but it was a fairly smooth ride. Xinyi didn't see it that way."

"She was there?" Anna said.

"Of course she was there. She was always around, believe me. The longer the labour went on, the more stressed she got. I think she had about 15 separate panic attacks. We've got a really good picture of her from the hospital that day. We were saving that for her wedding, but you know what she's like."

"Too straight to marry a woman, and too gay to marry a man," Anna said, giggling.

"Exactly," I said. I wasn't sure who coined that phrase originally.

Xinyi had been a part of Girlcrush. She was Chae-min's best friend, and one of my best friends too. She was like an auntie to our daughter, and perhaps soon she would be her boss. Xinyi still worked at Eclipse, and she was the one being tasked with convincing her adopted niece to sign with the company.

"I feel better now," Anna said. "Was that definitely the true story?"

"I promise," I said, and she made me pinky swear before she accepted it as gospel. "Ready now?" I asked, and my little girl nodded. We both climbed to our feet, and made our way inside.

**

Xinyi was waiting for us in the lobby, wearing a royal blue pantsuit and white blouse. Anna ran into her arms, much like she had with her grandfather.

"Well, if it isn't the oldest woman in the world," I said.

Xinyi whacked me with a folder she was holding. "You are such a prick. Who said you were invited?" she said. I loved it when she called me a prick. She decided it was her favourite word over 20 years ago, and she never let me forget it.

"I have to be here because someone told me that you were in charge now, and that sounds dangerous," I said, teasing her. "I can't believe you're wearing a suit."

"I'm a professional," Xinyi said, her gaze focused on my daughter. "I'm very happy you're here, xiǎobǎo. Don't listen to your dad, he is not very good around successful women."

"I've spent my whole life surrounded by successful women," I argued.

"And still bad at it?" Xinyi responded. Her English accent was as consistent as ever, which always amused me. Her fluency was constantly improving, but the way she said it never changed. It always sounded like it was her first day with the language, even if the words came out exactly as she planned. "Not a very good look for you."

I laughed, and followed after the two of them as they left me behind. I had loved teasing her about her age since she turned 40 a few weeks earlier. Xinyi was about six and a half months older than me. She had been the oldest member of Girlcrush. Chae-min was the second oldest. 40 was still half a year away for me, but she would enjoy her revenge when the time came.

Song Xinyi is from Beijing, China. I love her surname. I think it's a really beautiful family name. The girl was destined to be a performer from a young age. Eclipse scouted her at a freestyle dance tournament when she was 12 years old, and she moved to Seoul within a couple of months. Chae-min joined the company a few months later, and the two of them became best friends. Xinyi was seen as the superstar of the duo at that point, but she was nowhere near as well behaved.

She was a bit of a menace, and at times a liability. She was almost kicked from the group a couple of months before their debut, after years as a trainee, because she snuck out of the dormitory to get drunk, before ending up in a strip club. She was kept around, but her position as the face of the group was usurped because they didn't want to put their trust in her in case they were forced to remove her further down the line. She was mostly well behaved while the group were active, but there was always a potential scandal peering over her shoulder.

Xinyi is an incredible person, and she loves wholeheartedly, but she is definitely undiagnosed with something. She's had her fair share of struggles over the years, but she's come through them all in her own unique way. She has also struggled with the loss of her best friend. I really care about her, and we've been through a lot over the years. I never would have pictured the pantsuit and the executive role for her when she was 18. I certainly wouldn't have put my daughter's career and welfare in her hands back then. Here and now, there's probably nobody that I trust more.

Xinyi led us to a conference room, and introduced us to a few other executives. I didn't recognise any of them. There's been a lot of change over the years. Park Sung-ho is the current CEO. Cho Jae-hoon was an executive producer for all of the currently active groups. I shook hands with both of them, and my daughter did the same. Anna and I sat on one side of a large glass-topped table, and the other three sat opposite us. This all felt a little more serious than anticipated.

"Do you want to sign the contract now, or would you like to hear the pitch first?" Xinyi asked, switching to Korean. Her Korean was flawless. She had been living and working here for a long time. The other two suits seemed uncomfortable with her question.

"That doesn't sound very reassuring," I said. Xinyi bared her teeth at me in a sheepish smile that made me sigh. "Alright, what's going on?"

"Things have changed a little bit since we originally talked about bringing Anna onboard, so we have a new offer for you," Xinyi said.

"What's the offer?" I asked. Anna had her hands on the desk, tapping her fingers down rhythmically on the glass. She had more reason to be nervous now, because we were being blindsided with a change of plans.

Xinyi didn't answer quickly enough, so the CEO stepped in to spell it out for us. "We have a new girl group debuting in a few months time, five members. One of the members decided to leave us a couple of weeks ago. We have attempted mediation with her and her family, but she's not coming back. We would like to offer that fifth spot in the group to Anna," Mr Park said. I could feel the frustration bubbling up inside me. This was nothing like what we planned. She was coming here to train, not debut. "Anna fits the age profile and look of the group. We have put a lot into this debut, and we don't want to let the girls down at this late stage with a delay. Anna has impressed us with her tapes, and we still have a few months to get her up to speed with everything else."

"I won't be made to feel guilty for a group of strangers," I said, to begin with. I didn't really care if they had to let the other girls down, and guilt-tripping me into signing my daughter away to an almost instantaneous debut was never going to work. Her fidgeting next to me had hit a fever pitch. I placed my hand on top of hers, to stop the tapping. "We didn't come here for this. She hasn't been through the system and hasn't been prepared to debut as quickly as that. Xinnie, you know better than anyone how tough this can be."

"I'll be with her every step of the way," Xinyi said, trying to reassure me. "Thomas, this is my group now. I'm going to be the lead producer and creative director."

"Since when?" I asked. I knew she had an ambassadorial and production role with the company, but she had never worked directly with a group.

"A couple of weeks ago," Xinyi answered.

"Was that when the other girl left?" I asked.

"We lost the original creative director of the debuting group at the same time. They left together," Mr Cho answered. "We think there's a chance they're moving to another company, but we haven't gotten any confirmation yet."

"I was given the chance to replace her," Xinyi explained. "I've wanted to do this for a long time. I wanted to debut the next group, in a few years time. Anna was going to be a part of that. I knew you would want her to train first and this would be too quick, but the new group is mine now. I want her to debut with me, and with these girls. They will love her and she will love them. I promise they are good people."

"I want to sign," Anna said. She wasn't going to stay quiet for too long.

"Of course you do," I said. I couldn't blame her for wanting it. The offer had been a few years as a trainee, and now it was the privilege of being on stage within a few months. As far as she was concerned, she could already sing and dance. My perspective was more centred on the preparation for fame, the idol lifestyle and forming a bond with her group members. Chae-min, Xinyi, Hayoon and Si-an trained together for years. "You should have told me before we came here."

"It's been a crazy couple of weeks. It wasn't even this part that worried me," Xinyi said.

"What does that mean?"

"What if we had a job offer for you too?" Xinyi asked.

I put my head in my hands and just festered in the silence for a moment. Anna started tapping the table again. "What kind of job is that?"

"The same one as me, and we do it together," Xinyi said. I was watching her through my fingers, feeling my lifeforce drain at the sheer prospect of working. "Co-creative directors, or maybe you can have a different title if it makes you feel better. You produce and write the songs. I work on the concept, the creative direction, the music videos, the choreography and everything else. We will have a team of course, and a good one at that."

I laughed under my breath and let my hands fall to the glass. "I don't want to work. I'm retired," I said.

"No, you're not," Xinyi said, smiling.

"Strong argument," I said.

"Chae-min told me you have to keep working, and keep busy."

"Are you going to guilt-trip me, too?"

"I haven't even gotten started on that," Xinyi said.

"Go on then, what's the rest?" I asked. It was like nobody else was in the room now. We were speaking as old friends, and she was going to pull on my heartstrings in a bid to bring me out of my depressive state.

"I can't do it without you, and not just because it's a difficult job. They will literally not give me the job without you," Xinyi explained. The suits on either side of her had gone quiet, but neither of them had a look on their face that suggested she was lying. That's not exactly the best sell. "I need your help. I can be good at this but you know my brain doesn't work sometimes. I told them we can do this together, and we'll look after the girls properly, and we'll make lots of money. That's the most important thing, as you know," she continued. Anna giggled. She could appreciate the joke, at least.

"You can do this on your own," I argued, probably futilely. "It's been a long time since you were that person, and you were never as bad as they made you out to be."

"Tell that to the people who like the money," she said, actively motioning to the people on either side of her. I didn't know what was less convincing, the one who wasn't to be trusted without supervision or the executives who were letting that very person dictate terms and hire on their behalf.

"I didn't come back here to go through all of this again. You know what this industry is like," I said.

"We'll make it better for all of them and become the new gold standard," Xinyi said.

"We can't control the way they'll be treated," I argued.

"We can control everything else. Do you want to know the truth from 20 years ago, about how our debut was perfect and our lives as idols were perfect. Me, Chae, Yoon, Si-an. Do you want to know why it was perfect?"

"It wasn't perfect at the end," I said, which frustrated her.

"Let's talk about the start, please, because that helps my argument," she said, which did make me laugh. I tried to hide it.

"Why was it perfect?" I asked.

"Because we had you," Xinyi said. "You were our rock and safe place and all of those cliches. We couldn't do it without you. We all felt like you were there to protect us. I lost track of how many times you talked me down from a ledge."

"You were all fine without me. I'm not the hero behind any of your successes."

"Thomas, you do not get all of the credit. We were still super sexy and talented so the performing part was all me and all them too, but we needed a safety blanket at home and you were always there. There are four more girls who want to live the same dream. Anna too, whether it's now or in the group that debuts a few years from now. I couldn't think of anyone better to help them than you. You can do so many good things for this industry."

"You're better than me. You can look after them and protect them the right way."

"Sounds like we would be a perfect team then," Xinyi said. "I need you. We used to talk about this a long time ago. One day we would start our own company and run it the right way. We wanted to do this with our best friend, and we can't anymore, but this is the next best thing."

Those conversations felt so distant. K-pop was the end goal back then. We wanted to watch it grow out of the roots that Girlcrush and a few others had planted, and then we wanted to perfect it. We were pushed out before that was ever an option.

I took a moment, with my eyes caught between one of my closest friends and my daughter. I didn't think either of them needed me, really. Xinyi could manage without me. She was annoying, but at least she was honest about the guilt-trip. Anna was an adult. If she wanted to debut with this new group, she could.

"I'm not making any decisions today," I said. Anna looked my way. I gave her the chance to decide for herself. "I can only answer for one of us though. It's up to you, darling."

"I'm happy to wait and think about it," she said, which made me so proud. I smiled at her, and gave her back a rub.

"Sounds like we're going to think about it," I said.

"I understand," Xinyi said. I think she was prepared to wait, even if the same couldn't be said about the suits. They had mostly sat there quietly and left my friend to beg me. I would have guessed she asked for the privilege of leading the conversation, thinking she could convince me. Annoyingly, she was probably right.

"Debut is in three months," Mr Park reminded us. "No pressure, but we cannot afford to wait too long."

"We'll take all the time we need," I assured him. I was confident enough to believe they would wait for us.

"Before you go, do you want to meet the girls?" Xinyi asked.

No. I didn't. She was trying to tempt me into taking the job by humanising them and making me care about them and their success and happiness.

"Yes, please!" Anna said, answering before me, and getting in the way of my refusal.

**

Xinyi led us up a flight of stairs to one of the practice rooms, and though the building was different, the dance studio aesthetic was so familiar, from the hardwood floor to the floor-to-ceiling mirror across one entire side of the room. There was a TV to watch choreography videos, one laptop and a couple of wall mounted speakers that played the music, a full sized fridge and one long sofa for the girls to relax on during their breaks.

I had so many memories of watching Girlcrush practice from a sofa like that, hours of sweating and grafting to get every movement down to a meticulous precision, perfectly in sync with the other members.

The four girls were mid-routine when we arrived, being led by a choreographer wearing a face mask. There were a couple of cameras in the room, and staff members often had the choice of remaining anonymous. One of the staff members seemed to be filming a vlog, and instantly had a camera on my daughter. Anna's eyes widened, and she looked at me.

"Any need?" I said.

Xinyi shrugged. "If she ends up joining the group, they'll want to release the moment she met the other girls. Good footage for a documentary," she explained.

Anna shrugged too, and didn't seem all that bothered. A few minutes later, she was awkwardly waving to the girls as they approached and greeted her, and everybody started bowing at world record rates. It took me a while to get used to the bowing back in the day, but now it seemed almost natural. Every hello was met with a bow, and then a couple more. Anna bowed. The other group members bowed. Xinyi bowed a couple times and suddenly peer pressure got to me and I started bowing too.

The girls looked nice enough, but there was little to go off. They looked like any pre-debut group to me, before the company made changes to their looks and assigned them a personality based on the concept of the group. They were all free of make-up and rocking their natural black hair colour. They were unquestionably pretty girls, but that was the standard. It will be a hell of a day when the business debuts a conventionally unattractive person.

They were nice to my daughter, and that's what mattered the most. Anna had shown some nerves, but before long she was being invited to join a bit of casual freestyle dance training and she jumped at the opportunity. Xinyi took me to the sofa, and we sat and watched the five of them dance around, get to know each other and laugh plenty, and it was quite heartwarming. Anna looked at home with them instantly, and her smile was just like her mother's when she was in the studio with her friends, having a ball and chasing their dreams.

Practice came to a close, and a fold-up table was pulled out of storage for the girls to sit, eat and chat at for a while longer, before people started to slip out on by one. The group members had some vocal training lessons in the afternoon, but a few hours free before that. Anna stuck with the choreographer and took a brief tour of the other dance studios in the building. Sang-hoon was due to pick us up before too long.

"She looks right at home," Xinyi said, laughing under her breath. I sighed, and she laughed louder.

"Can't believe you're guilt-tripping me," I said.

"I think you know who gave me permission to do this," Xinyi said, and it didn't come as much surprise. "If you knew even half the things she told me before she died, you would be shocked. I got permission to guilt-trip you, permission to bully you, permission to fight you if necessary."

"Fight?" I echoed.

"That's what she said."

"Who would win?" I asked.

"Twenty years ago, you. Now, maybe me," she answered. "You're getting skinny, not eating good and not looking after yourself."

"I hear enough of that at home," I said.

"This home, or back on your sad little island?"

"Both, unfortunately," I said.

"I'm going to keep guilt-tripping you until you rediscover your spark," Xinyi informed me. "Chae-min told me this was okay. I already gave you space, but now you are here and you are going to stay, and if you stay then you are going to work because it's what is best for you."

"They really won't give you the job without me?" I asked.

"I am a dangerous girl, Tomtom, you know this," Xinyi said.

"Better put you in charge of my daughter then," I said, and she laughed.

Xinyi wasn't watching me directly, but she was looking at the mirror across the room and her eyes were definitely on me. "Do you remember how to dance?" she asked. I shook my head firmly and instantaneously.

"Definitely not," I said.

"You used to learn the choreography," she said, getting to her feet.

"It's long gone. I was never good at it."

"You didn't need to be good. It wasn't your job, but you learned because it was fun and because it made us all laugh."

I was still mindlessly shaking my head as she rolled up the cuffs of her pantsuit and took off her blazer. I hadn't danced in a long time. It wasn't a skill of mine, but learning the choreography back in the day was fun. A silly and very private challenge to impress my girlfriend and her friends.

My daughter returned, and gave me the perfect out. "Harabeoji is here," Anna said, multilingually.

Xinyi had already started stretching. "Have fun like the old days," she said. I was caught between the two of them, and there was one very obvious answer, and yet something called me to pick the bad option. My old friend had been somewhat convincing. She had taken it easy on me the last 20 months, but if anyone was going to pull me out of my slump, and with the posthumous permission of my wife, it was her.

"Go ahead, darling," I said. "I'll catch up with you later."

"What are you doing? Dancing?" Anna asked.

"Not with you here," I said.

"No, please..." she started, desperate to watch.

"Your grandfather is waiting for you. Go and spend some time with him. Tell him to take you for some hot pot, and eat as much as you want. If you're going to be an idol, your diet is not going to be under your control for much longer, so enjoy it while you can."

"Does that mean we're staying?" Anna asked, teeth showing in a hopeful smile.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," I said, and she pouted. "I'll see you later."

Anna accepted defeat, and gave me a hug. Xinyi got one next. "See you soon, ayi," Anna said, holding on tight to her surrogate auntie and struggling to let go.

"See you soon, xiǎobǎo," Xinyi said, before we waved her off and she left to meet her grandfather in the lobby.

And then we danced.

It had been a long time and my memory was hazy, but a lot of the moves still existed somewhere deep in my mind, and we made it work. It was good fun, and knackering too. We weren't even close to as young as we used to be. I remembered their debut track My Light the most, so we focused on that one, but she eventually had me jamming to a couple of their comeback singles.

By the time we were finished we were lying on the ground, facing the big mirror, and panting like dogs. "I was too old for this 10 years ago," I huffed, head against the hardwood floor as the bright lights shone down on me.

Xinyi sat up and crossed her legs, fixing her hair in front of the mirror. "I have another meeting in an hour," she said.

"Meeting in the morning, a quick dance break and then a meeting in the afternoon," I said.

"That's the kind of life you want to live," Xinyi said, before lying back down beside me. I could see her chest heaving in my periphery. "Did you have fun?"

"It was fun," I admitted, and she let out a satisfied sigh. "Did Chae-min tell you that you had to get me dancing again?"

"No, that one was my idea. She did tell me who was in charge though, and it is me now, sadly for you."

I was grinning at the ceiling. "She put you in charge?" I asked.

"Yes," Xinyi said confidently. "She said it is important to get you working, keep you busy, make sure you stay creative, look after you and my spiritual daughter and maybe have sex with you a few times, if you need it."

"Ha!" I said, one loud and genuinely surprised exclamation that quickly devolved into silly giggling from the both of us. "Did she really say that?"

"She didn't expect it from me, but if we both need it then maybe we can try it, for olds times sake. We used to have a lot of fun, remember?"

"Oh, I remember," I said.

Xinyi means the world to me, and not just because she was our best friend. There was a period of our lives, once upon a time, when she was basically part of our relationship. We never used the word throuple, or the Korean or Chinese alternative, but that's what it was like. Chae-min was my first love. Xinyi came next, and the three of us made the most of their shared room at the dormitory.

It was a distant memory now. Chae-min was my girlfriend first, but there was a time when it could have been both of them, and we talked as if it would be forever. Chae-min got pregnant. Xinyi didn't, and she chose to stay when we left to escape the constant media attention and persecution. Our relationship continued casually after Anna was born, but with the eventual move away and the distance, it became much less frequent. Xinyi chose to move on in the end, so she could find something of her own.

It's funny really, because it felt like we were in competition for a little while. We fell for each other eventually, but at the beginning of our relationship we both clearly only had eyes for one girl. Xinyi was devoted to her best friend, and desperately in love with her. Luckily for me, she was bisexual enough to give me a chance. It's silly to put it this way, but believe me, nothing teaches you to eat pussy quite like a bisexual best friend who is clearly better than you at it. I had to get good before she stole my girl.

"Do you still love me, in that way?" she asked. I don't think she was desperate for me to say yes. It was just a genuine question between two old friends, who had profoundly loved each other a long time ago.

"I'll always love you the way I did back then," I said, and she turned her head to the side and scrunched up her face in the same adorable smile she had on the day we met. Those 20 years had taken very little from her. She still looked incredible.

"I'm not offering you sex so you take the job, by the way," Xinyi said, staring daggers through me as her eyes bulged to emphasise her point. "I'll have sex with you whether you take it or not."

"You're being completely serious about this," I said, and she slowly nodded.

"Who else are you going to do it with?" she asked.

"Nobody was the plan," I answered.

"Plans change," Xinyi said, lifting up and sitting on one hip facing me, the palm of one hand pressing into the hardwood floor to keep her steady. She moved the other hand to the top button of her blouse and undid it. "Your options now are me or nobody."

"Right now?" I said, and she giggled. I don't think she planned this far ahead, because she hesitated for a second, before scooting closer to me and lifting a leg over my body. My hands went to her hips as she straddled me, and pressed her crotch into mine. "Xinnie, you're still crazy."

There were people in the building and the door hadn't been locked, nor had the window been covered, but it was her and it had been so long and nothing could stop my hands from sliding up and down her waist, curving around her hips and giving her bum a squeeze through her pantsuit trousers. Chae-min had set me up. If it was going to be anybody it was going to be our Xinnie, and my wife knew that.

Xinyi smirked at me, before leaning down and smothering me in her chest. She had only undone a couple more buttons, but her bra and cleavage were peeking through, and there was plenty to drown in. She still had unarguably the most famous tits in K-pop, over twenty years after her debut. She had been more curvaceous than most when she debuted, though she eventually slimmed down a bit due to the pressures of the business. She never managed to lose any of the weight in her chest, though she didn't mind that. She loved her boobs, almost as much as me.

Her tits were huge and heavy, and difficult to control when she was dancing. Xinyi is about 5'4", so they were a hefty burden to carry, but she did it proudly. "We can't do it here," I said, mid-drowning, even as my lips and tongue chased after her skin and begged to see and feel more. She was grinding into my lap, and my dick was growing in my pants.

"Obviously," she said, dropping lower so more of her curves engulfed me. I gripped the soft skin with my teeth, and she squeaked. "I was just making sure you still liked me."

Xinyi took her breasts away from me, and hovered over me for a second. She had pretty dark eyes, and monolids. When she debuted, someone on a variety show called the monolids her defining feature, and she suggested it was actually her massive tits. She didn't say it quite like that, but the show wasn't live and they asked her to reshoot her response to that prompting. Chae-min had to be removed from the set because she got the giggles and kept distracting everyone.

Xinyi leaned down and kissed me, her small pointed nose pressing into mine as she thrust her tongue straight into my mouth. She was the only person who had ever kissed me other than my wife, and it felt so good to taste her again. I didn't need to feel guilty with her, because she was ours once. I didn't think we were ever going to be together. I didn't have it in me and she likes kissing girls too much, but we could make each other happy, for a little while.

I kissed her back, wrapping my tongue around hers, desperate for more when the time was right. My hands moved up her back, taking in the feel of her body and growling into her warm breath. My dick was starting to throb, so we needed to stop before that became a problem.

We were stopped instantly, by the opening of the door. Xinyi sat up, rolled off me and rubbed my saliva off her lips in one movement, while one of the four debuting members of her new girl group stared back at us from the doorway. Xinyi had told me their names while my daughter danced with them, but it escaped me at that moment. The girl looked surprised, and froze for a second.

Xinyi put a hand across her chest, covering the cups of her bra that were on display. "Shibal, sorry," she said, getting to her feet and hustling over to her blazer.

I was locked in place, but lifted my legs so any bulge in my pants was hidden behind my knees. I didn't know what to do. We had been caught in the worst way by one of the worst possible people who could catch us. I didn't care all that much about my own dignity, but it would be embarrassing for my daughter if she joined the group.

"I'm so sorry," the girl said. She spoke in English, with either an Aussie or Kiwi accent. She retreated, the door closing quickly behind her.

"Steph!" Xinyi called out, before turning back to me. She quickly fastened her buttons, before putting her blazer back on. "It's my fault. I'll talk to her. Don't worry about it," she said.

"I'm worrying," I said.

Xinyi approached me and put a hand on my cheek. "I will fix it," she said, before lifting onto her tiptoes to give me one more soft kiss. "I promise."

**

Chapter 2

Wednesday 10th June, 2026

**

Xinyi left me behind to chase after her trainee. I stayed behind in the dance studio, more than a little flustered, but trying my best to compose myself. As awkward as it was, it really wasn't the end of the world. Xinyi could resolve it, and we could all forget it happened.

We were two adults, doing adult things, and our only mistake was the location in which we did it. We weren't even going to do it. We had overcome our desires and agreed that it couldn't happen then and there. Thank fuck for that. I was a spilled nipple away from ripping my pants off.

I was embarrassed for my daughter more than anything. She was going to join the group, and she was going to debut. I knew there was no chance of stopping her now, not after she met and spent time with other girls. There was so escaping the fact that one of her future group members was going to have caught me in a compromising position. I was going to have to explain, apologise and hope she didn't suffer too much teasing about it.

The only real question this posed was whether it impacted the decision on my own job offer. I really didn't want to have to face that girl again, not for a while at least. There would be no avoiding her forever if my daughter was in her group, but being her boss after she walked in on me smooching her other boss was an uncomfortable thought.

I didn't want anyone working under me to consider me a sexual being. She could share a stage with my biological daughter all she wanted, but she should still have question marks about how that daughter was conceived. I should be a sexless being in the eyes of my employees, and that position should be even easier to achieve as a widower.

I suppose there was a sort of side embarrassment in that this girl had caught me kissing my deceased wife's best friend. I could only guess what she thought about us, about how the relationship may have started and if it had overlapped with my marriage. She would have every right to judge us if she thought we moved on too quickly from our mutual loss, and she would have no reason to believe it hadn't started as an affair. There was no way to explain the truth, because that might seem even less realistic.

I had huge question marks about the job already, and this hadn't helped. The most important factor was still that they wouldn't give Xinyi the job without me as her support. I couldn't let her down. I knew how much this meant to her. She was guilt-tripping me and she was entrapping me by tugging on my heartstrings, but it felt as if there was no escaping my fate now. Chae-min would never forgive me if I turned down the job. I also knew that I had a better chance of protecting my daughter from the darkness of the industry if I was working with her day in and day out.

The shame of being caught was very real, but hopefully we could look past it.

Fucking hell. I was horny too. That was a blueballing for the ages. Even if we weren't going to do the deed then and there, we were probably going to do it as soon as we made it back to her place. Now she was off trying to save our shared dignity while my balls ached in my pants. It had been so long. So long since my last time with my beautiful wife. Even longer since the last time we did it without the dread of knowing she was dying.

I never planned to go celibate after Chae-min died, but I knew it was going to be a while before I wanted to do it. I never expected to date again. I was never going to marry again. I just thought my life would include a string of casual flings. I still had needs, but I would never need any of those people as much as I needed my wife. I just wanted to get some release occasionally, burn the frustration out of myself on a warm body.

I never thought it would be Xinyi. I thought too much time had passed, and she wouldn't want to go back there, but there was no one better. She was the only other person on the planet who had fallen in love with me, many years ago. It had been so long since she was in our bed. The years we were together were such a unique time, but when she moved on, she was committed to it, even if we tried to tempt her back here and there. We were successful once or twice, but it must have been a decade since the last time we had sex. We visited for the holidays one year, and she folded after my wife teased her into a one night only reunion. That night became a weekend.

It's hard not to reminisce on the good old days. Kissing Xinyi again felt incredible. She had fallen in love with me once, despite her best efforts. I fell in love with her much easier than that.

Our relationship started very suddenly. For the other two, it took a little bit of time and a few heart-to-heart conversations. For me, it happened one night after school, in the blink of an eye. There's no better way to explain it than simply saying that my new girlfriend offered me her best friend. Chae-min presented Xinyi to me, and told me to fuck her. This was before Chae moved into dorms with the other girls, so it happened at her family home.

I have this vivid memory of Xinyi standing nervously in the doorway while Chae told me what she needed me to do. I couldn't believe they were genuine. Chae told Xinyi to prove she wanted it, and Xinyi lifted up her school skirt to reveal a pair of grey cotton panties, complete with a damp patch at the front. It was the first and last time that I ever saw her blush.

Chae-min never even hinted that she was thinking about it until that very moment. She had talked to me about her feeling that her best friend needed an anchoring steady influence in her life. I just never expected that to be me, or us. She was worried about Xinyi, and decided that the best way to protect her from her self-destructive ways was to fulfil her needs in the safety of her own home, and eventually their shared dorm.

I was in love with my girlfriend. I didn't want anything like that. We had only just started dating at that point, as well. Chae-min asked me to be her boyfriend in December 2004. The girls debuted with Girlcrush in March 2005. There was a very small window in between those dates when we were supposed to be a normal couple, but my girlfriend had no time for that. It was sometime around late January when she offered me her best friend on a silver platter.

I'm only human. A pretty girl lifted her skirt for me. I hesitated for a couple minutes. Chae-min was very firm on her position. I thought it was going to ruin the likelihood of us staying together long term. She promised it wouldn't. Xinyi needed an anchor, and that was going to be me. Chae told me to fuck her best friend, and serve her with the same love and passion that I had reserved for her. I'll say it again. I'm only human. A couple minutes deliberation, and our fate was sealed. I pounced on Xinyi, and fucked the life out of her.

It was one of the most intense experiences of my life, and not least of all because my girlfriend watched every second of it from the sidelines, willing me on to be the perfect slut for her best friend. I was still pretty new to fucking. It wasn't close to the best sex we would ever have, but despite all the pressure in the world, my dick stood up and was counted. I had never been more proud of the guy. I just couldn't come, which meant the fucking went on for an age. I was a sweating, exhausted wreck by the time Xinyi drained my one and only load of the session, and she had come at least a few times by that point.

Chae-min was not afraid of the unconventional. She explained to me afterwards that this is what her friend needed, and so that was what she was going to provide. Our relationship developed so much from that point, and at no step of the way did she seem overwhelmed by where we were headed. By the time we were essentially a throuple, she talked about it as if it had been an inevitability. Xinyi was destined to be ours.

Xinyi, however, was not the girl she presented herself as on the first day we fucked. I had been surprised by how submissive she was. She was a firecracker, confident and headstrong, and she didn't show any of that. I thought she might have been showing a secret, more honest version of herself, but in reality it was that submissive presentation that was the real act.

Everything was different from the second time we fucked. That was when the real competition began. The truth is that Xinyi didn't jump into bed with me just to get the fucking she needed or desired. She jumped into bed with me because she thought it was going to be a threesome. She was as shocked as me about the fact that Chae-min just sat and watched the whole thing. Xinyi was there to fuck the both of us. Fucking me was an obligation. Chae-min was the one she wanted.

Xinyi went into that second hookup like a woman possessed. Chae-min wasn't allowed to be a spectator any longer. I wasn't complaining, because the two of them then teamed up to devour me. Xinyi was patient enough. She didn't just start fucking her best friend, but every time we were together she upped the ante until the idea of them being together as part of our threesomes was as normal as either of them fucking me. I have a photographic memory of their first kiss, and almost every other first that followed.

Xinyi was in love with Chae-min. I figured that part out quite early. She's never admitted if she was actively trying to steal my girl or not, but it certainly looked that way. I never got jealous though, because it was clearly quite mutual, and it never impacted how my girlfriend loved me. Chae-min was falling for her best friend too, and if my options were loving both or losing both, then we were going to have to get used to our new normal. Xinyi liked being better than me, fucking Chae better and making her come more, but over time our competitive rivalry became an allyship, and we teamed up to consume Chae-min with our mutual desire for her. I have always said that the real challenge wasn't stopping my girlfriend from leaving me for her best friend, but instead convincing that best friend that she loved me too.

Xinyi admitted she was in love with me after about six months of heated rivalry, and we were all together for a good few years before the pregnancy. We were still together for a while after that, but it always felt as if that was the beginning of the end. It could have been different. There was a night after the positive pregnancy test when we talked ourselves into having two babies. Xinyi didn't get pregnant that night, and then she changed her mind. I'll always wonder what might have been.

For the record, the other members of Girlcrush knew all about our relationship, and they were fine with it. I wasn't secretly fucking the other two. I wasn't that much of a slut. Ha-yoon and Si-an were actually quite happy their roommates kept sneaking me into the dorms. Firstly because it meant they could sneak people in too, and secondly because I was easily the best chef out of the five of us.

Now widowed before 40, it's not all that much of a surprise to me that the only person who could possibly fill that gap with some semblance of love is the person that my wife and I had loved together. Chae-min and Xinyi had talked before her death, and the two of them conspired to make sure I was kept busy, and didn't sink into my depression. Early retirement and a lifetime of nothing but being a dad was calling out to me, but there was no escaping the fact that my life was uniquely tied to Song Xinyi. I couldn't let her down. I was going to have to take the job.

**

I decided to head back to my in-laws place. I wasn't going to be signing any contacts that day but there was a shit load of work ahead of me, not to mention the apartment hunting and the collection of the rest of our stuff from back home. I was going to be very busy in the future, which made being lazy today a much more attractive proposition.

There was still a part of me that hoped today might include some fucking, but it was probably better to deal with the mess of being caught first. Fucking could wait until tomorrow. Or it could just wait until whenever Xinyi wanted to do it, because whenever that was, it would work for me. Fuck, it had been a long time. I needed it.

It probably wasn't too late to find out where Anna and Sang-hoon went for lunch. Or maybe it was. I still wanted to eat.

I left the dance studio and made my way back towards the exit, though the new building was a bit of a maze without a guide. I ended up on a balcony that overlooked a couple of the lower floors. Xinyi and her trainee were talking in a small unstaffed kitchenette area. The trainee, who I think she called Steph, was pacing back and forth and doing most of the talking. She had a can of soda in her hand and it looked like she was squeezing it to death. Xinyi was sitting on a stool by a large marble table that acted as a sort of kitchen island for the area. Xinyi was fidgeting and clearly uncomfortable. She was looking down at the ground and looked shrunken in stature. I was glad it was her who needed to have this conversation.

I wanted to escape, but being nosey is fun too. I leaned on a metal railing and watched them for a minute. Their voices were barely reaching me. The sun shone down on them through large glass windows. It was a lot warmer out in the open, away from the air conditioned dance studio.

Steph stopped and stood over my old friend. Xinyi looked up at her trainee with puppy dog eyes, and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. She guided it to a cheek next, her legs kicking nervously. Steph knocked the hand away, and then led with her own. She took a firm handful of Xinyi's hair, and pulled it back, tilting her face upwards. My heart got caught in my throat. Steph leaned in and kissed Xinyi, sending my mind into meltdown. It was a distant, controlling kiss. The trainee held back just enough so that her manager had to chase after her, desperate for some kind of forgiveness.

I couldn't believe it.

I just couldn't fucking believe it.

I backed away from the railing and rushed down a set of stairs, moving like thunder in the direction of the two girls. The kiss had ended by the time of my arrival, and they were standing apart, as if they heard me coming.

"Xinnie, what the fuck are you doing?" I said, seething.

"What's wrong?" she said, jumping off her stool and attempting to look natural.

"I saw you kissing her," I said, pointing at the trainee. The younger woman's eyes bulged and she turned away, trying to escape out of my eyeline.

"No, no, no," Xinyi said, shaking her head rapidly. "I can explain it."

"You can explain fuck all, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I raged.

"Thomas, please. I know it looks bad," Xinyi said.

I started to leave. I didn't want an explanation as much as I thought I did. Xinyi chased after me. Steph didn't follow after us, but that didn't matter all that much. She wasn't the one to blame in all of this. She wasn't the superior. I felt sick to my stomach. "Go away," I said, refusing to turn back to the feet tapping away behind me and trying to keep up. "I'm going home."

"Which home?" Xinyi asked.

"All the way home," I said firmly.

"Please don't leave me. Let me explain," she begged.

I stopped suddenly and she almost ran into me. "What kind of explanation could possibly clear this up?" I said, turning back to her and almost buckling at the emotion in her eyes. She was so important to me, but this was completely unacceptable.

"I don't know. I don't know," she said.

"I brought my daughter all the way here because it was you. I trusted you, and you were going to rope me and her into working for you when you're having a fucking affair with one of your trainees. I thought you were doing better these days, but this is fucking ridiculous."

"I was doing better. I am trying to be good," she said, pleading with me to hear her but nothing she could say would explain this away. "Chae died, and it happened. I didn't plan for it. I promise."

"Don't use my wife's death as an excuse for this," I said viciously.

"She was mine too," Xinyi whimpered.

"Is this why they left?" I asked, putting the pieces together. "The original fifth member, and the old creative director. They left because of this, didn't they?"

Xinyi nodded meekly. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen," she said.

"You need to get a grip of yourself. Anna is not going to be joining something like this. This is going to blow up in your face and you know it. Quit while you still have your reputation intact, and heal. Properly heal. I had to do it, and now you do too."

I turned to leave again, and heard her weakly call out for me to stop. "Please don't leave me again," she sobbed, but the die had already been cast. I marched out of the building, and back into fresh air, completely at a loss for what to do next.

I was barely 50 metres back towards the subway station when I realised that my phone was missing. I felt the pit of despair in my stomach. I needed to go back. I managed to find a second to take a breath. I ended up sitting on the same exact bench that Anna had spilled her heart to me from earlier in the day. It was going to break her heart, but she couldn't debut like this. I would find her another company, with a mentally sane creative director.

Xinyi was untameable. Chae-min was probably right about her. She needed an anchor, and once upon a time, that was us.

Chae-min isn't here anymore. I can't save her from herself, not on my own.

**

Song Xinyi actually left the building before I worked up the courage to go back inside. She and another staff member rushed out the front entrance and off into the distance without ever noticing my presence. I watched them climb into a company car on the main road and disappear from view. I'm not sure where she was going, but it cleared a path for me back to my phone.

I was back in the dance studio about five minutes later. After getting cleared through the security protocols and finding my way up to the right floor, I passed the forbidden kitchenette. My phone wasn't even on the sofa. It was on the floor in the middle of the room, having presumably fallen out of my pocket when we were kissing. Fuck. My head actually hurt from the frustration, both physical and mental. I wanted the best for her so badly, but she hadn't felt like this much of a lost cause for a long time.

I would hear her out one day. I could probably even understand how she ended up doing it. Grief makes us do crazy things, but she's in a position of influence over that young woman's life and this was a dark path she shouldn't have let herself fall down.

I wasn't alone for long, though my guest moved like a ghost. I got quite a scare when it turned out she was in the room with me.

"Jesus," I said, in my mother tongue, before switching back to Korean. "I didn't know you were there."

Steph stood facing me, her back to the door that had been closed behind her. "English is my first language," she said, talking in that very language. "I'm Australian."

Well, she was definitely one of the two. There's an unmistakable twang down under. "Right," I said. I hadn't planned to converse with her, and had little to say. An apology seemed fitting, at least. "I'm sorry about what you saw."

"I'm sorry about what you saw," she said. She walked deeper into the room, and made herself at home on the sofa.

"I'm very happy about that, believe me. I can go back to retirement now. Xinyi and you, that shouldn't be a thing. I don't want my daughter around it. I'm sorry if it delays your debut but it's not my problem," I said, venting in the wrong direction, before sighing. "Ignore me. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologise," Steph said. "I know how it looks."

"Very bad," I confirmed.

"It was my idea, if it makes you feel any better," she said. I turned away from her, but the mirror on the opposite side of the room meant there was little escape from her gaze.

"It doesn't make me feel better. She's your boss. It's unacceptable."

"She wasn't my boss when it started."

"And when did it start?"

"About 20 months ago," Steph answered. I felt the dagger digging into my soul. That was around the time of Chae-min's death, and there was no doubt that the trainee in front of me was stressing that timespan to make her point.

"I get it," I said, before taking a breath and sitting down on the sofa. I ran my hands through my hair and then down my face. I needed to leave. I just needed space and a little bit of privacy to process my feelings, but it was hard to stop blabbering now that there was someone listening. "I'm going to forgive her. We've been through too much to not forgive her. I still don't want to work with her, not anymore. If this ever comes out, it will be a nightmare for both of you. Think about the other girls in the group too. You're putting their careers at risk. I'm not risking my reputation or my daughter's dream on any of that."

"She really needs you," Steph said.

"Anna needs stability more than Xinyi needs me," I said.

"I think we're getting off on the wrong foot," she said. That didn't matter all that much. I wasn't taking the job. She was never going to be my employee, or friend. "It's nice to meet you."

"Steph, is it?" I asked.

"Stephanie is my English name. My Korean name is Mi-young," she answered.

"What should I call you?"

"Mi-young will be my stage name. I'm getting used to hearing it more often, so maybe that."

"Then it's nice to meet you too, Mi-young," I said, and for the first time, the trainee smiled.

She was quite cold otherwise. She sat still and calm, and showed little emotion. I was a wreck, but she was completely at ease with herself and the situation. She spoke in this matter of fact tone that suggested everything was going to be okay. I couldn't quite get a grasp on her.

This may well have been a conversation she'd had before. I knew it had played a part in the resignation of the group's previous creative director. Anna's predecessor in the fifth spot in the group left for the same reason. It was nice enough of the two of them to just leave without causing a national incident. Mi-young must have been friends with the girl. Fuck knows how she managed to explain all of this to her. Nobody could blame her for leaving. This whole situation was just asking for trouble.

Mi-young was a pretty girl, with a heart shaped face and almond shaped eyes. Those eyes were hazel coloured too, which made them stand out even more. Hazel eyes were rare for her ethnicity, but notable to me because my wife had them too. She had a straight nose and full lips, and her long, black hair was styled in twin braids that sat in front of each shoulder. The girl had legs for days, and she was comfortably the tallest of the trainees that my daughter had met earlier in the day. She had been wearing joggers then, but she had changed into a short, pleated tennis skirt that accentuated those legs of hers, while her top half was covered by an oversized sweater.

K-pop was like a drug for a man with a thigh obsession. The industry had changed plenty over the years in how it presented its idols, but the one guarantee had always been short skirts, short dresses, short shorts and a nice pair of legs. If it was up to me, the stylists would be the highest paid people in the business.

"I was a big fan of Chae-min," Mi-young said, though her brief flirtation with a smile was long gone. "Everyone was, obviously."

"She was your favourite idol's favourite idol," I said, a term often designated to her. A lot of the younger debutants now would barely have been alive when she was active, but her legend status was long since assured. "When were you born?"

"April 2005," Mi-young answered. "I'm 21 now."

"They debuted a month before you were born. She was starting to feel old watching girls like you arrive on the scene."

"I didn't really know them when they were active, but my older siblings were big supporters so their music was always playing when we were growing up. My big brother had such a big crush on her," Mi-young said.

I laughed. I had heard that story so many times. "Well, just make sure you carry the torch and make a positive impact on your fans. It's tough, but it can be very rewarding," I said.

"Xinyi talks about her every single day."

It hurt, knowing that her pain was still lingering, but it didn't excuse the decision to sleep with a trainee. I was never going to be able to stay angry with her, but a little space was required. "I'm not going to tell anyone about you two. I still think you both need to be smart and end it. I'll be telling her the same thing."

"There's nothing to end," she said.

"What does that mean? What's going on between you two?" I asked.

"We're not getting married or anything. It's casual."

"It's easier to bring a stop to something that's casual," I said.

"Xinyi needs me, so we'll keep doing it, if that's okay with you," Mi-young said, so firm in tone.

"It's not okay with me. I'm not your boss though, so you can do what you want. I'm going to insist that she ends things because, with all due respect, she's risking a lot more than you are right now. I hope she takes me up on that."

"You don't know how much she needs me," Mi-young said, crossing her legs in my direction and turning inward towards me. "I was the only person who was there for her after the memorial. You promised you would stay, and you lied."

"Excuse me," I said, stunned. "What is happening here? I was giving you some courtesy and trying to help you. We're not having a discussion here, and we're certainly not going to be having an argument either. I don't know you."

"I know all about you," she said, pointedly.

"What does that mean?"

"She told me everything about you and what happened back then, but that doesn't interest me much right now. I know you left her in 2009 and I know you left her in 2024 after the funeral, when you promised you would stay."

"You don't know a fucking thing about this. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Mi-young stood up, took a few steps away and then turned back to me. "You should be thanking me for taking care of her," she said, fidgeting with the pleats of her skirt as she spoke. "You didn't know how much she needed me. I've been looking after her for almost two years and making sure she felt loved."

"Well, thank you," I said, even if my tone didn't sound all that grateful. "If you care about her, you know this can't go on. End it now, for both of your sakes."

"Are you going to replace me?" Mi-young asked. "She needs one of us. We can share, if you like."

"Share?" I asked, perplexed by this young woman, her confidence and the position of influence she had in my ex-lover's life. Xinyi should never have let it come to this.

"She told me all about you, and the way you used to fuck her. I wasn't jealous that she kissed you. I was jealous that she didn't bring me along," Mi-young said.

"You're as crazy as she is," I said.

Mi-young reached for the bottom of her short skirt, and lifted it up for me, revealing the rest of her long legs and a pair of black knickers. It was a memory so vivid, but with a new face and body attached. She knew every little detail of my relationship with our mutual lover. The little minx has seduced Xinyi, and she was trying to seduce me too. "Do you want to fuck me?" she said. I couldn't look up at her, because meeting her eyes would damn me to an unjustifiable answer.

My dick had been purring since Xinyi unbuttoned her blouse and drowned me in her cleavage not long before, and the young woman in front of me knew it. I stared into the dark abyss of her underwear, and hesitated enough that she started to approach, with small and slow steps that meant she took an age to reach me. When she was within touching distance, she climbed into my lap, straddling me on the sofa. I felt her weight come down on my stiffening dick as her skirt fell back down to cover her modesty.

I didn't have the guts to put my hands on her. I was shell-shocked, paralysed with fear, horny beyond belief and desperate for her to make me feel better about all of those things. I had never been so weak minded in my life. Mi-young started to grind into my crotch, her eyes searing holes into my own. "What the hell are you doing?" I said, a feeble resistance.

"Do you want to fuck me?" she repeated. She shuffled a little closer and sat back on my thighs, before moving my nervous hands to the sides of her legs. I stroked her soft skin nervously, the pads of my thumbs circling gently just below the hem of her skirt.

"You need to lock the door," I said.

"I already did," she purred.

I stared into her eyes, and felt my stomach turn. "You were planning this the whole time," I said. She ignored me, leaning in to kiss and suck on my neck. She didn't need to tempt me any more. She had me wrapped around her finger, and nothing was going to stop me from falling into this most desperate of sins.

Mi-young was beautiful, and so fucking sexy, and she knew it. She knew what she wanted and she knew how to take it. I just couldn't stop myself. The frustration and anger with everything that had happened that day, the latent desires inside to feel some sort of release and the grief were all overwhelming me.

I moved my hands up her legs while she sucked on my skin, feeling the curve of her ass and then the lace of her knickers. She moved up my jaw, her lower lip grazing my skin upwards until she reached my ear. "Put it in," she whispered, her warm breath tingling the nape of my neck. I squeezed down harder on her ass in response, before pulling her knickers to the side. I let my fingers tickle her sensitive folds, revelling in the change in her breathing when first contact was made.

"Lift," I said, and she did. I unhooked and then pushed my jeans down to my knees, before she dropped back into my lap and her warm skin found mine. The only sounds were the breathing and the shuffling and the air conditioning unit plugging away in the background. I squeezed my dick out of my boxers and aimed it at her opening, desperate to be inside her. I had chastised Xinyi for this very thing, but nothing could stand in my way now, even as the shame of it threatened to engulf me.

Mi-young put her hands on my shoulders, and dug sharp nails into my skin as my dick squeezed inside her. She felt perfect, warm and tight and soaking wet. She slid down my dick, inch by inch, until she had taken all of me in. I tried to kiss her when our eyes met one more time, but she dodged it and then distracted me with a fucking. She started to lift herself up and down my length, her pussy walls pulsating around me. I moved my hands under her sweater, held her waist firmly and watched her work her magic.

She knew how to fuck, and rode me as fluidly as you might expect a dancer to move. I watched intently, trying to bury every moment in my subconscious. This could only happen once but I never wanted to forget it. Her body moved in waves as she rolled back and forth in my lap, my dick throbbing inside her. I held on tighter, gripping her waist and trying to lift her up my dick so she would start bouncing on me, but she wrestled back control, knocking one of my hands from her hip in the process. I watched her eyes narrow sharply as she looked down at me, before she started riding me again.

I chased another kiss, and she rejected me again. She moved to my ear instead, chewing on the lobe. I moved my hands to her bum, squeezed her cheeks and then started to speed up her riding. I was much stronger than her, and it was easy enough to pull her close to my body before pushing her away. She huffed in response. "No," she said, before she sat still on my dick, pouting.

I laughed under my breath, before giving her ass a slap. "What's up with you? Think you're in charge?" I asked, as it all started to make more sense to me. I remembered that kitchenette kiss, when Mi-young made Xinyi chase after her, begging for forgiveness. Add that to the way she came here simply to seduce and fuck me. The little brat was used to being in charge.

I love a pretty dick riding as much as the next guy, but this was my first time in a while and a gentle rocking of her hips wasn't going to cut it. I wasn't here to make love to her, and chase after her while she avoided kissing me, all so she could administer some sort of influence over me. I was only doing this once, and that meant she was going to get a proper fucking.

"Just do what you're told," Mi-young said.

"And what is that?" I asked. I kept spanking her as she spoke. She was still stony faced, trying to give little away, but her cheeks had started to redden with each firm palm on her ass cheeks.

"Sit there and shut up," she said.

I stood up instead, taking her with me, my cock still buried deep inside her. Her breathing sped up. I hooked my arms under her legs as she clasped her fingers together at the back of my neck. "Do you want to stop?" I asked, having now stolen that control from her. She could still pretend she had it if she wanted. She shook her head. "If you say no one more time, we stop."

"I won't," she said, looking a little dazed. She never planned for it to go this way. I had a feeling things usually went how she wanted them to go.

I started to fuck her flailing body as she clung to me, a loud clapping sound echoing around the studio as our bodies pistoned back against one another. I fucked her hard because it was what my body desired, showing zero shame in using her like a fleshlight. She was light, and easy to manoeuvre, and when she started to moan it really set me off. I shuffled into the middle of the room, jeans around my ankles, fucking her like an animal. I couldn't believe the impact this day was having on my soul.

I took her closer to the mirror, guiding her sopping pussy along my throbbing dick time and time again, before dropping her onto her feet. My fingers replaced my cock between her legs. I tickled around her folds and silken slit, before lifting one of her legs back into the air. She stumbled back against the mirror, and then placed a hand against it for support. I was still a lot bigger than her, despite her long legs, so her planted foot was on her tiptoes as her other leg was held up against my body, putting her in a sort of vertical split. I stuffed my cock back inside her, took a firm grip of her upper thigh, and started to drill her again, using her body to my heart's content.

She moaned more expressively than how she'd talked to me, and her face started to contort as the pleasure took hold. It was nice to see a different side to her. She whimpered, speaking under her breath and reaching out with her free hand to claw at my neck and jaw in the chaos. Fucking hell, she was gorgeous. It was a funny way to keep track, but it was genuinely quite crazy that she was my third fuck, and somehow also my third idol. Pre-debut or not, it counts. There can't be many people who can say that.

I had to explore further, and reached under her sweater to grab and squeeze her tits. She wasn't wearing a shirt or bra underneath, so that was easy enough. She had small, firm tits and her nipples were rock hard. I bounced between the two of them, pinching and groping her and just trying to revel in and worship every piece of her body during my brief fling with it. My other arm was still around her thigh, and kept pulling her back into my thrusts while her sweaty hand stained the mirror. Her soft moans and constant panting drove me crazy, making me fuck her harder and harder.

She put a hand over her mouth before too long, and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. "Are you coming?" I asked, knowing the answer. She nodded her head frantically, and pulled a face she felt the need to cover. When she put her hand over that expression, it made me laugh. I pulled her arm away from her face and made her look at me as she came. "Tell me."

"I'm coming," she purred. I fucked her with more force, feeling her body shake in my grasp. The leg against my chest slipped down and onto the floor. I just kept thrusting, my knees bent enough that our heights almost matched. I was going to remember that look on her face and the way she came on my cock when she was a superstar.

I grabbed her twin braids and pulled them back, tilting her head. I tempted her with a kiss, but took it away from her just as she seemed willing. I turned her body away from me, walking her even closer to the mirror and pushing her front first into the glass. I pressed my cockhead back between her legs, sliding up and down her folds teasingly, before squeezing inside her tightness and fucking her from behind. Her warm breath was close enough to leave condensation on the mirror while she watched me fuck her in the reflection.

I held onto her hips and slammed into her, flicking her skirt up onto her lower back to give me a better view of everything. She was back on her tiptoes. I looked down between our bodies and revelled in the sight of my cock filling her up, and the way her pussy juices glistened on my shaft. Her insides were so warm. Neither of my other two lovers were this warm. She felt almost molten, so warm that you never wanted to pull out.

I needed more of her, because this one would never be enough otherwise. I moved my hands up her sides, and took a breast in each hand. I squeezed and kneaded them as she pushed back against me, grinding and twerking on my dick. I would regret never seeing them, so her sweater came off next. I pushed it up her back and forced it over her head, before watching her little tits bounce in the mirror. They were perky little things, teardrop shaped and a little asymmetrical, with pink nipples and smaller areola.

I wasn't going to last much longer, so let my hands roam all over, drinking in the feeling of her body as my dick was drowned in her warm, wet pussy. Her juices dripped down her thighs and onto the wood beneath our feet. I pressed her tighter to the mirror once more, watching her snarl as her tits were pressed into the cold glass. She arched her back further, and gasped in pleasure as her perfect tightness took me over the edge.

I came hard, shooting a huge and desperately needed load inside her velvet pussy. I roared in relief as she was filled up, lifting her upper half and holding her tight to my stomach, kissing the back on her neck needily. "Fucking hell, you feel so fucking good," I growled, before slipping out of her and sinking to my knees. I watched her stand with her hands against the mirror, back arched and legs apart, my semen dropping out of her pink pussy and splashing onto the hardwood floor.

My chest was heaving as she watched me over her shoulder, and she allowed me the privilege of festering in her beauty for a short moment, before she pushed her skirt back over her bum and started to sort herself out. She put her sweater on, and then helped me back to my feet. I pulled my jeans up, sweating despite the aircon, and went back to sit on the sofa before my knees could buckle again. I had my head in my hands for a minute while she cleaned our liquids up off the floor. I knew the bad feelings would hit as soon as it was over, but that didn't stop me from starting.

Mi-young approached, and squatted in front of me. She put a hand on my knee, and stroked my thigh gently. She was sweet with me, having quickly composed herself. "I think you should stay," she said, her hazel eyes meeting mine and reminding me so much of my lost love. "I was going to try and make you stay. I guess you figured that out. I won't tell anyone if you decide to go home, but we all want you to stay. Xinyi told us all about you, and how you can help make our dreams come true. You love her, so stay for her, and for your daughter, and for me."

Mi-young stood up, took a breath and then left the dance studio. I sat in silence for a while, with only the hiss of the aircon for company.

**

I made it home about an hour later, back to my in-laws and back to my daughter. Everything inside told me to run away, just like we had after our baby girl was born. Life was so much easier and so much more peaceful back home. Anna would trust me. I could tell her this wasn't the life for her and she would listen.

I had humiliated myself, and living so directly with those consequences was impossible. I couldn't go to work with my little girl, and watch her share a stage with a girl that had drained me of my load. I couldn't look one of my best friends in the eye and tell her that she had lost her mind for fucking a trainee, and then fuck that very same trainee. What would Chae-min think of me?

Anna bounced into the front room before I could even take a seat, yapping away about her day and how much she loved it. She jumped onto the sofa beside me, and talked about how excited she was, and how much she loved the other girls. "They were great, weren't they?" she asked.

"They seemed very sweet," I said. One of them was a little bit mean, and then extra sweet when she needed to be.

"I want to stay. I want to join the group," she said, which didn't surprise me.

"Let's just talk about it for a day or two," I said, begging for a little patience and some time to process my mistakes. "They'll wait for you."

"I don't need them to wait. I want to join them, and work with Xinyi, and work with you," Anna insisted.

"I don't know about my part in that, darling," I said.

"It has to be you, or she doesn't get the job," Anna reminded me.

"She might be better off without it," I said.

Anna shook her head, unflinching in her desire. "We're going to stay and you're going to take the job. I never wanted to do this without my mum but we don't have a choice in that. I'm not going to do it without you. This is the best and happiest way we can do it, and we can make her proud together, okay?"

I looked into her eyes and watched them sparkle. She started to pout, giving me the eyes that always made me fold. She didn't get her mother's colour, and instead had my dark brown. When she wanted something, they combined with her pupils to form a massive dark void that acted as a shield to any denial.

"Okay," I said, terrified of the repercussions the second the word left my lips. "We can stay."

**

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed the first couple of chapters of this story. Let me know what you think in the comments below. This is my second harem series. I am still learning and always happy to take on constructive criticism.