Divergence 02

Part 2 is categorised as a romance to be consistent with Part 1 and 3. However it could more appropriately be the Loving Wives Category. As part one, any relationship of characters in this story to actual people is entirely coincidental.

DIVERGENCE 02

No Way Back

Mentally exhausted I collapsed onto the park bench in front of the Botanic Garden pond. The last of the lunchtime office workers were straggling from the Gardens. I sat with my brown bag containing my belated lunch, a Turkish sammie, trying to settle after my hour-long midday presentation, which did not go as well as I had hoped.

There was a commotion in the pond, which distracted me from my thoughts, mallard ducks were making a cacophony of quaking, a group of drakes were ganging up on a female. Feeling sorry for the harassed female, I leant over and peered at the ducks. Another drake, her mate, was beside himself trying to defend her.

It was at that point someone sat down beside me. Staring at the ducks, I didn't look until she spoke. "What's so interesting about them?"

The speech was very correct with a slight husky tone,' that sounds very private school,' I thought to myself as I turned and there she was with a slight smile mimicking my posture, I caught her blue eyes recognising Katelyn who I had met at the celebration, a few months ago.

"Sorry.." I began to say.

"It's me, Katelyn, we met at the award party," She said brightly in a contralto sing-song voice.

"Yes, of course, I'm..."

"Oh I know who you are. What's so interesting about the ducks?" She said gesturing toward the commotion still going on."

"Ha! Well, do you know what they are doing?"

"No making a lot of duck noise, I suppose."

"You watch. See that drake over there, he is that ducks mate and all those other drakes are setting out to make him a cuckold."

"What, aren't they just fighting?"

"Sure but it's a gangbang."

"No, surely not. Why doesn't her mate just see them off."

"If the mate gets too involved they could kill him. I am watching what he will do."

"Oh the poor mamma duck. Can't you do something?"

"I am waiting to see what happened next. I think the drake might have a trick or two. Ahh there he goes."

The drake suddenly flew into the melee giving one drake a hard peck, which drew the other drakes away from his mate. As they chased the drake his mate dived down into the pond. By time the other ducks had given up the chase his mate had popped up further away and was now taking flight. By then the drake was flying as well and falling in with her. They left the other drakes milling around wondering where they had gone.

"Yeah! I high fived Katelyn, did you see that. That's how it is done. That was really some trick wasn't it?"

"Oh yes, I guess so."

"If he had tried to fight them head on he would be toast. Better to use your brain, wouldn't you agree? A little lesson on life there. It's what it takes to be an alpha. They are not necessarily the strongest, the most heavily armed nor the biggest risk taker. No, they are the smartest. If they're not the smartest they are destined to be the loser. If you can out gun a muscle head in the smarts department, you're qualified to lead. Those two ducks that escaped were alphas."

"So that's how you would defend your wife if she was hit on, Mr Alpha Drake."

"First I am not married, but yes. Of course. His mate wasn't short of a few feathers either. She was very plucky and that's what I would expect in a mate."

Katelyn by this stage was giggling.

Suddenly I was feeling so much better. Katelyn and the ducks had taken my mind away from that unfortunate presentation.

The presentation had intended to be a lunchtime meeting where I could talk to a group of architects and other members of the public about our scheme.

I was very nervous about talking to my peers. These were people I had known since my time at architectural school. There had been some criticism of the scheme after it was awarded. Some people hated it. Maybe I am too thin-skinned for this sort of thing but I tended to take the criticism personally. So I started feeling like an imposter. I entered the meeting thinking that I was going to get found out, being the fraud I really was.

Here I was walking among the mortals? Who did I think I was? A kiwi Zaha Hadid or Frank Gehry. Here I'd won this competition, I had been intrinsic in the parametric design of these overseas global structures, I had become a controversial part of the Neo-Boheme movement and its philosophy and now I was home wanting to be accepted and to humbly learn as I earned my way among my down-home peers

The presentation was in front of large screens. Nick was operating the model that was displayed as I spoke to it. The presentation commenced with a mihi, a maori short speech of welcome and introduction delivered by Henare, our Maori collaborator. I then began an overview of the project leading to the urban treatment and how the complex was woven into the city.

I moved on to its aesthetics and how in our minds the mathematics of structure, the interconnections, the form and its growth were organic. For example the landmark tower metaphorically was rooted to the ground like a tree, the giant pukatea with its buttress trunk and as it grew it began to twist and turn like the serpent, the fierce taniwha whaitatai finally reaching the heavens as the bird te Keo taking flight and soaring into the Wellington wind. However many were not impressed with this and it was the aesthetics that people had been most critical of. It was regarded as an expensive monstrosity by some. Others loved it. This was to be expected. Iconic buildings excite a division, the most loved are often the most hated of buildings. That is because they cannot be ignored. They are not bland buildings replicating what is already there. They are built to make a statement and people do not always like that and people take sides..

I talked about our international team and how we had put something together that was not Māori, not French, not Japanese architecture. But it was 'just architecture,' but within, it contained the symbols and the narratives that thrive in this unique place, this complex little city. It brought together the influences of the indigenous, the colonists and the immigrants who are the inhabitants of the city and it was meant to celebrate that diversity.

As design leader it was my challenge to weave all these influences into a coherent whole but in doing that it had to contain the functions it was designed for against earthquake, storms or tsunami. It had to be liveable but it had to be a joy.

Prior to this presentation Brendon Chan's public relations team had been busy utilizing Instagram and podcasts setting the scene. This being a public presentation to my peers had made me particularly nervous. In the past, I had presented to Germans and New Yorkers but talking to kiwis, I was on the mat. I imagined I could be seen as simply up myself or full of shit.

On the whole I had a good hearing but it fell apart at the end. There was a politician appearing who had been very vocal in trying to have the competition result overturned. He used the meeting to attack.

He had picked up that Brendon Chan was behind the entry and claimed it was a Chinese entry and I was just a stooge. I pointed out that Brendon just provided the financial backing for the design team. The major players were Oriwia and Henare, Nick, Suki, Gaspard and Markel. I said this is the design team leadership, we are here for the duration and are setting up an office here and I look forward to adding to our team locally and hopefully some from colleagues in this room.

The political protagonist moved on to the finances claiming that it had already overrun. I challenged him where he got his information because there was no reason to believe that the budget, as it stood, had not changed.

I knew him as a man not adverse to using false information and he would not go away. I recalled the story of problems with creating the Sydney Opera House. We were going to have a battle from the beginning to the end. We might easily not see the end and get forced off the project as happened to the architect, Jorn Utzon. The last thing I wanted was for the project to be undermined by individuals aggressively using it as a political football for their own aggrandisement.

There were those who would be jealous because they or their favoured team missed out. Then there were those who saw the opportunity to make noise simply for their own self promotion, then there are those that just hated the look of it. An imposition on the city's skyline they did not want. It was no wonder I found myself at the Botanic gardens pool to cool off.

******

Back at the project awarding celebration where I had been drinking with Gaspard and Markel, Katelyn had inserted herself into our conversation. She introduced herself by congratulating us and then describing how she had just graduated and it was beyond her dream that she would be working with a world class act. She initially did not concentrate on me but the exotic duo of the French Gaspard and the Basque Markel. She had charm and she had an extremely attractive manner, not flirty and not overbearing. She was obviously highly intelligent and could hold an amusing conversation. She had spades of what the Jewish call Chutzpah.

Gaspard and Markel were mesmerized by her and a little confused about how this gorgeous pocket bombshell could just capture our night. I initially felt on the outskirts. To her these were two apparently single men and I thought that it was not going to be my night. I stood back and just listened..

After she left, Gaspard, Markel and I looked at each other. "What was that?" I said, Gaspard and Markel shaking their heads. Gaspard just mumbled, " Katelyn, someone, going places."

*******

Then here I was with Katelyn at the pool. I finished my sandwich while chatting with her and finally I discarded my brown bag in the nearest refuse bin and we proceeded back to the office together. As we walked we talked about the presentation I just gave. I said, "I can see this project is going to be like crossing mountains to get to our destination. We climb one mountain and then there is another, steeper, more rugged to cross, thrust up against us. It could get so bad we won't take it any more and throw it all in. It's going to take resolve and stamina. There are people out there who hate us for winning and they are going to try and force us off the pedestal any opportunity they can. I mentioned the politician who had been obnoxious. She knew him and agreed, saying she thought he was a twerp.

I spluttered,"Twerp? Where on earth did that come from?"

Katelyn giggled,"My mum used to say twerp. She said that when she was in school they said it was the name for a pregnant goldfish."

I had to laugh at that one, "Yeah, that is so like the twerp. He looks like a pregnant goldfish in the flesh."

The girl was a tonic. It seemed the stress of the presentation just dissipated with the lightness of our conversation.

There was something about Katelyn stirring me. Her facial features were soft, lightly puffy but not plump. She spoke in an almost distracted way although she took in what I was saying. But the interesting thing to me was her attraction. It was almost imperceptible but whether it was her perfume or her speech, she aroused me. As we walked, there was an urge I had to restrain, to touch her or to hold her hand. It was unsettling and it gave me something to think about.

******

Despite the ongoing political shenanigans, the next act was the project becoming real, kicking into gear and commencing. There was also the process of making the project financially secure. We spent a lot of time promoting what we were doing while all the time we were shadowed by Brendon Chan. He was using his charm to ensure his name was connected to the project, even underwriting some of the initial feasibility supporting the engineering of such a radical structure.

He was adept at initiating side projects benefiting agencies and otherwise potentially competing interests. He had a saying about making your potential enemies indebted to you.

Just the same, the twerp managed to force a private injunction against us on technical grounds, which was thrown out of court but not without a month's delay. He had a second go and that was ruled out as vexatious. Hopefully there would be no more trouble from him. I wondered who or what organisation was financing him. That was never disclosed.

All this time Katelyn kept appearing. I kept meeting her on the lift of all places. She was always there with a charming smile. Her presence consistently brought with it that imperceptible stirring in me. It was inevitable that she would join our group or just me for coffee and often lunch. In the beginning it seemed accidental but it became a regular date when either of us was available.

Our relationship went up a notch one day when she came to me for a proposal she was working on that needed a conceptual design. She wanted me in particular. According to her, her mentor had suggested I could help her with this.

I was happy to, as she was very beautiful and quite persuasive so why wouldn't I want to help. This led to a one-on-one workshop meeting, somehow leading on to dinner at her suggestion. Why not? I only had a lonely apartment to go home to.

This is when the flirting really began. Looking back on it, that's when she seriously began to seduce me. Katelyn was not in my team so a private dinner was not going to be an issue. We wound up at an unremarkable Italian restaurant, of her choosing close by, where we worked through pizzas, chianti and tiramisu making easy and light conversation about this and that.

She was good and I could feel my bitter post-Justine phase defences breaking down under the assault of her closeness and perfume. Now I was not the lead on this, I was ill prepared and unpracticed at the dating game. It would not be a text book seduction by an experienced and suave lothario. On her part she was certainly not being coy. Leaning into me as we talked, close enough to feel her hot breath. Giving me light touches on my forearm, which I may say I had no intention of withdrawing..

I weighed the risks of getting involved with this young girl and decided I was there for a fuck, not to get married and heavens knows there had been none of that since I arrived back in New Zealand.

She seemed to find my tales funny and the attraction of those giggles spurred me on. Her smile and her blue eyes went to my heart. We left the restaurant and continued at a bar. As we drank we talked about our interests, movies, music and all. I am very catholic in my music tastes, in that I enjoy just about anything and always on the lookout for something new. So that was easy. Tick. Our tastes in movies. Well living alone I had been doing a lot of that. Tick. Sport? Well both of our youthful sporting lives had lapsed but we did get out to the gym and ran to keep fit. Tick. Katelyn was into cross fit. Her devotion to it was obsessional. Me? Not so much. I just liked to keep trim and my running helped me to think.

We had another wine and led by my genitalia I bumbled on. I began to become, in a phrase, 'horny as hell,' seriously aroused by her presence. Who could blame me considering the sexual drought I had been in. She was nearly fifteen years younger than me, and the thought of possible sex with her was too much to resist and I was becoming a little agitated in my frustration.

So, I suggested it was time to head for home. Katelyn asked me if I could walk her home. Perfect.

She lived in an apartment close to mine and not far from the bar so that was even better. Consequently I had her on my arm, and her head resting against me as we strolled. I definitely felt I was getting lucky that night. On one dark corner we paused and I leant down to kiss her and it turned passionate as I felt her tongue gently probing.

Did my dick ever rise to that? Did it what. For the first time in so long it was rigid and aching to be freed. I hastily began to guide her to her door trying not to make my intentions too obvious.

Arriving at the door, I let her go as she punched in the code and opened it. She swivelled and gave me a skull crushing wet sustained kiss then licked my earlobe. I was convinced it was time but I didn't receive the invitation. She just looked me in the eyes and asked me if I wanted to go for a run in the morning.

My instant deflation must have been obvious. Disappointed, I nodded my head as she smirked in a knowing way.

I finally replied, "Breakfast?" That at least got me that gorgeous smile.

"OK, after the run at your place. See you here at six thirty?"

"Yeah, guess so," not hiding my disappointment as the door closed leaving me awkwardly on the pavement.

I mean, I felt I had been conned by her tease and I left in a confused coitus interruptus, so far, so bad.

The rejection actually hit me quite hard. Being so much older I was self assured to the point of arrogance and I felt incredibly embarrassed. She also left me incredibly frustrated. This blonde sexy siren had got under my skin, she exposed my loneliness, my vulnerability.

Since I had been back in New Zealand my loneliness had been masked by my absorption in work. Though perfectly legal in New Zealand I never indulged in working girls. I had been in a state of sexual denial, afraid that sex would expose the still open wounds of my betrayal by Justine.

I went home, jacked off and slept badly. I could not get Katelyn out of my mind. The following morning, Saturday, I was up extra early with a huge morning wood, breaking an erotic dream featuring you know who. It could not stay down so I got up and relieved myself in more ways than one.

At six thirty, on the dot, I was at her door waiting and it was ten minutes later when she finally arrived down from the sixth floor. She apologised. She said she had flatmates and it was kind of difficult organising herself without waking them. Off we went.

We ran to the waterfront, then around the bays before heading back to my apartment. Thinking ahead I began to get aroused again and I was caught as she glanced down at the bulge building in my shorts.

She broke into a broad grin and patted it saying, "down boy." It immediately deflated with embarrassment. My continuing humiliation had not ended.

Arriving at my apartment I offered Katelyn the shower. It kind of stopped her in her tracks. She looked at me quizzically then broke into a grin. "Is it big enough for two?"

That, I was not expecting, but who was I to refuse.

Since I had got up early and taken the opportunity to do some cleaning, the apartment, including the bathroom, was in a semblance of order. Something, at least, I would not be embarrassed about.

Katelyn undressed in the ensuite while I, in the bedroom. She emerged from the ensuite with one of my towels around her. She stared at my nakedness and began to giggle. "I'm sorry, sorry." She said, " it's no offence, you look buff and great. It's just, this is all new to me."

I must admit I felt a little uncomfortable, this was not my ex, Justine. I would just have to feel my way. I decided to make a joke of it. "How about you? I am awaiting the great unveiling." Katelyn caught on straight away. "Ta dah!" she whipped her towel off and gave me the great reveal.

We took in each other's bodies. Hers, pale, buxom and with just the right amount of curve. The girl wasn't skinny but neither was she fat, she looked very fit and muscular but in a feminine way. Her mons was puffy and shaved, probably lasered clean, featuring a long tight cleft.

I entered the shower first, setting the water temperature before she cautiously entered. I took her in a clinch, giving her a deep and passionate kiss. She responded enthusiastically with her tongue. We began to slowly soap each other down. Me first, spending time with her impressive breasts and her now projecting nipples. She sighed and gasped as I did so.

I slipped my soapy hand into the cleft between her legs and she recoiled with sensitivity. I went more slowly as she adjusted to the sensation. I decided her mons definitely was lasered; It was so smooth. She pushed me back and started on me. When she reached my projecting cock she then paused and began to give me an inexpert hand job. I held her hand and kissed her then gently rotating her, massaging soap between her glutes. Then against the wall I began to push my cock between the tops of her legs and began to use it to massage her labia.

With that she stood upright, turned and put her finger to my lips, whispering, "Not now, I'm a virgin."

'What the hell,' I thought. The way she behaved I would have thought anything but.

She saw my surprise, coloured, and she became embarrassed.

"Hey no," I whispered, "It's all good, we don't have to."

"But I want to, but just not here."

Obviously this needed some explanation so we finished our shower and drying off went to have breakfast. I remained nude but Katelyn wrapped herself in a towel. I realised then that she was just young and really not as confident as she had appeared coming on to me.. I became conscious of our age difference, which briefly cast a shadow over our growing connection.

Katelyn explained that she had not had many boyfriends and had been focussed on her career. I was amazed I had not met any virgins in their twenties before. She had decided I was the one for her defloration. I suppose I should feel honoured but I felt she had built it up to an event she would be profoundly disappointed with.

Breakfast was not fancy. Katelyn opted for avocado and tomato on toast with tea and I was happy with that as well. As I fussed about in the raw, I could feel Katelyn's eyes following me around reviving my horny lower beast. I was lean and pretty fit at the time so exposing my inner exhibitionist was easy. We then sat unceremoniously at my small table for two.

Finishing breakfast Katelyn nodded toward the bedroom, then getting up we headed there making a detour to the bathroom to freshen up. I grabbed a towel as she led me by the hand to the bed. The girl was definitely keen.

I laid the towel on the bed. I suggested we do it doggy but she wanted it missionary so she could see my face. I rummaged in my bedside cabinet and brought a packet of unused condoms that had been forlornly stashed in there since I moved in.

Katelyn did not want a condom but I told her that although I was clean and not having had sex since I arrived back in New Zealand, the act may make her bleed and get infected. She reluctantly agreed. It did not seem to turn her off.

We laid down to cuddle and kiss. I worked my hands massaging around her body, neck, breasts and went down on her mons. I reached in to finger her tiny hidden clit causing her to immediately double up. It was as tight as.

I sat back and she relaxed, spreading her legs revealing her tight pristine white smooth clam. I set back on my knees and leant in. With two fingers I gently tried to ease apart her soft outer lips. They seemed stuck together so I gently massaged them. She initially seemed dry. Despite the kissing and cuddling she did not appear horny at all. Gradually I gently rotated my fingers against the lips and they began to unstick. I gently prised her soft lips apart but they still remained partially stuck. I began to think I would need lube but instead I lent in and ran the tip of my tongue up her slit causing the lips to reveal a slim pink and moist interior. I ran the tip of my tongue up again, this time a little more forcefully, her pink inner folds made their appearance, converging on her small pink clit at the top.

Katelyn sighed as I spread her lips with my tongue. Her pee hole made its appearance followed by a depression containing her hymen. The hole for her vagina seemed impossibly small. 'How the fuck is my dick going to penetrate that,' I thought. I had to get her really turned on so I turned my attention to her clit. With lots of saliva I began massaging the clit with my lips alternating with sucking it. I realised that this was Katelyn's trigger. Where Justine's brown pert nipples had been her hot buttons. For Katelyn, her clit would set her off.

Katelyn rapidly came animated, her breathing deepened and she began to writhe and thrust into me. I used my tongue to work my way around the clit before flicking its hood and forcing the tip of my tongue under its small opening. This time there was no doubling up. I steadied her hips as she was starting to thrash about. She began to get vocal moaning and grunting with my ministrations. She had never previously had a guy eat her out and it took a while for her to settle. I backed up and tried more slowly.

Her vulva was now swollen, not short of lubrication and her aroma intense. I finally had my long tongue flicking deep into her cleft, under her tiny clit and against her hymen. She was extremely juicy, her secretion savoury and salty. Lubrication would not be a problem.

I spread her lips again with my fingers, the wishbone of her clit was in full reveal but penetrating her tiny hymen looked like it might be painful.

Finally it was time for the act. I sat back and rolled on a condom and then we kissed again. Supporting myself on one hand, I aimed at her vulva and then began to caress the head of my dick backwards and forth, massaging the soft saturated tissue, working her juice around my dick. The smell of her pungent horny aroma helped stiffen my resolve.

I worked the now rigid appendage into the portal until I met resistance and then I gave a sharp shove, which elicited a yelp from the poor girl who doubled up with the pain.

I tried to move further in but it got all too much and I made a tactical retreat. There was a bit of blood so I pressed her legs together in the hope that not too much blood would get onto the towel. After a while we laid down together. Katelyn was panting and not too keen for a reprise and we just snuggled there, both of us drifting off to sleep.

The experience was underwhelming for both of us. Later that morning Katelyn seemed to be disappointed and left saying she had housework to do. She said although it had stung when we did it, it no longer hurt. I took her at her word.

We did not meet up on Sunday but we had arranged to have dinner and a movie later in the week.

Sunday I felt remorseful about the whole thing. I had negative thoughts about her being much younger and facing her at work. For some reason I felt bad about taking her virginity. I was really only in it for the sex, I thought, and that had not been the most erotic experience of my life. I wondered what she now thought about it and would not have been surprised if she had called off the burgeoning relationship.

I still had a residual feeling of bitterness about women in general. The wounds of Justine's betrayal did not seem to go away. It was tempting not to contact Katelyn in the interim but I did ring her on Sunday, just to be civil more than anything else. She was uncharacteristically down on the call, so in my mind I decided that there wouldn't be a future for us.

On Monday I avoided Katelyn all day. I felt awkward about her, although in two minds, I rang her that evening anyway. The truth was I was very lonely and chatting with someone cheered me up and I did find her amusing.

Tuesday was the night of dinner and the movie and would you know it I forgot. I was wrapped up in work and absorbed in a problem with Gaspard when he asked me if I was still going out with Katelyn. In a blind panic I left work getting to the restaurant an hour late. I didn't expect to see her but there she was. She was not happy as I profusely apologised. She was on her second glass of wine and we decided there was no time for dinner so we settled and went to the cinema relying on ice creams to stave off hunger pangs. Katelyn was stoic about the whole thing. I don't know what she was thinking, she never said, but I could not stop apologising, which she seemed to find amusing.

I felt so guilty about standing her up for an hour. I decided I should atone so after escorting her home I said I would make it up to her. In two weeks there was a long weekend coming up so I invited her to come and stay with me for the weekend at my parent's bach. She jumped on me with that. "Oh wow, that sounds super cool." She happily exclaimed without a hint of angst at my blunder.

And we did it. It was a long drive, we called into a supermarket along the way and bought enough food for a week. This was just as well as there was a storm that weekend and the road went out. We ended up staying two extra days. Over that time we never left the house. Getting there late at night we did not even properly unpack and we were rutting on the stone cold bed.

The following morning I was awoken by the sight of a boob suspended above my face teasing me. I must say the bed was now considerably warmer with Katelyn on all fours straddling me, a tantalising tit swaying, inviting attention. I reached up trying to grab it with my mouth, finally snatching it, and sucking it in. Oh bliss.

"Breakfast time!" cried a breathy Katelyn.

For Katelyn the weekend experience was all new. For me it was a delight to handle such a beautiful younger woman. Her breasts were pointed and firm to grasp. Her salmon coloured nipples, initially flat, seemed to explode into large wonders as I licked and sucked with delight while massaging and squeezing those gorgeous pale pillows. She had a solid athletic body and her athletics in bed did not disappoint. Sex generally was not adventurous but passionate. She was very, very noisy, seeming to relish every stroke and every touch.

I gently forced my fingers through her saturated curtains into her vagina I felt under her pubis with two fingers and seemed to find her spot. I circled it with my fingers then caressed it. What began as grunts turned into a repetitive call as though she was some exotic bird. I vibrated her with my fingers and her call became more intense approaching a scream. Then I brought her down off her high and I tentatively penetrated her anus first with a finger and then carefully with a thumb. She hummed and grunted as I stroked her that way using my spit for lubrication. She did not push me away but I would save full penetration for another day. I was unwilling to go somewhere that she would be uncomfortable and turn her off, but at least it was an introduction. I was pacing myself, so I continued with her vagina and she began making bird-like calls in the throes of sex until she finally screamed and convulsed with her orgasm..

Initially I had worried whether she would get sore after the defloration but she admitted that she had borrowed a flatmate's dildo and had been practicing. This was the first I had heard about Lauren who had been friends with Katelyn right through high school. I was curious about why she had gone as far as having her pubes completely removed and she told me that it was Lauren who had talked her into it. Katelyn said it off hand but it briefly made me wonder about Lauren and Katelyn's relationship.

When it came to sex I discovered that Katelyn had become insatiable. A couple of weeks earlier she had been a virgin, for gods sake, now she seemed to be making up for lost time.

After a healthy prebreakfast, breakfast, I stumbled onto the edge of the bed to clear my head. Surveying the bedroom, as with the rest of the bach it had a musty informality containing the detritus of decades of family holidays stacked neatly in dusty corners.

Somehow I felt I was defiling the family bach with our weekend romp. I never had that opportunity with Justine. So, well... hell.. why not.

We came away from that intense weekend emotionally connected. There would be no going back, no misgivings. We were boyfriend and girlfriend.

******

The first order on the agenda when we got back to the city was to meet her flatmates and I was invited around for dinner. There were four of them, all about the same age. I was first introduced to two apparently average looking petite girls both sporting pixie cuts of different colouring. Their manner was indifferent and slightly rude to me. They seemed more interested in each other. Although sitting down to dinner they remained quiet, ignoring the rest of us and disappeared into the bedroom after eating. I later learnt they considered themselves non binary and Katelyn had never socialized with them outside the flat.

The other was Lauren. She was completely different and was obviously Katelyn's close friend. She was the night's cook for the meal. Lauren had on shorts and a loose top emphasizing her slender long legs and height. She appeared to glide nervously around the room in a slow constant dance. She seemed happy that I was there and made amusing flourishes with her hands as she handed us our meals. As she organised and served our meals she inserted herself into the conversation in an oddly staccato way as though she was addressing one of her gym fitness classes she presided over. "Heres your beautiful meal... now you got it, good work," all in a sing song voice. The meal was a tasty freshly made Vietnamese style salad. As there was no dining table we each took our plates then sat informally on the couch and what chairs were available.

I noticed Lauren constantly fussing around Katelyn and hanging on her every word, giving her positive affirmation even when it was not needed. "Oh good Job Katelyn, well done." I got a strange feeling that there was more to their relationship. I got a strong impression that Lauren was submissive to Katelyn.

Lauren's build and small bust reminded me so much of Justine except her hair was chestnut, straight and very long complementing her slender long legged frame. Katelyn caught me looking at her and frowned. I passed it off saying she reminded me of someone I knew. Katelyn told me about their history at school and Lauren had become a fitness consultant and instructor. She operated out of the large midtown Gym that Katelyn attended.

I thought I might transfer my Gym membership to Katelyn's gym so one evening while Katelyn was there I unexpectedly turned up. When I walked in, looking for her, I found Katelyn by herself practicing overhead squats, holding the weights above her head. This girl was full of surprises.

Her bum was projecting out and looking particularly delicious. Two smooth plump globes in spandex were too hard to resist so I moved around behind her and gave her crack a nudge with my stiffening cock. She hadn't seen me approach and gave a surprised cough dumping the weights onto the stand then turning around and roundly scolding me.

I couldn't help laughing and suggested we try it at home.

Katelyn's gym gear was a matching sports crop top and yoga pants with plenty of midriff displaying an impressive rack of abs. Fuck, I had never noticed them before and never seen a woman with abs. Katelyn noticed my incredulous gasp and gave a little shimmy slung back her shoulders to proudly show them off. "You like them, huh!!

I could only utter,"Yeah, wow!" when just then Lauren appeared, approaching from further away. I think Lauren was supposed to be supervising Katelyn but she had obviously been involved in some energetic exercise of her own elsewhere.

From the distance I could not help noticing the lean, lithe machine of her body with not a hint of excess. She also wore a two piece spandex outfit with a wide midriff. Her figure so reminiscent of Justine's was slightly taller and her boobs larger. Whatever she had been doing she was sweaty and her boobs were not so large to require a bra leaving her nipples clearly showing in the moist, light tanned coloured fabric. She also had a pronounced camel toe in her shorts, easily catching my attention. I remember thinking that her cleft was so well defined that she must have fully depilating her pussy like Katelyn. I couldn't help thinking a threesome with her would be pleasant.

Lauren spotted my interest, swivelled around and bent down to pick up some imaginary object in a blatant attempt to tease me. I got a full reverse view of her camel toe and I was tempted. Unfortunately Katelyn saw the whole thing and whacked Lauren playfully across the head and told her to keep away from her man.

I wondered whether Lauren was actually coming on to me or was just trying to piss Katelyn off. Needless to say Katelyn was against me joining her gym.

Soon after that event Katelyn moved out of her flat and in with me. Living with her, I came to learn that the girl's jealousy knew no bounds. God knows what went on in their flat after that incident in the gym. I didn't see Lauren after that for a long time.

Following our weekend away Katelyn and I had commenced a period of sexual education with me the meister and her the willing and extremely enthusiastic student. To begin with she was hopelessly inexperienced. I would teach her new positions. We experimented with anal, with me teaching her how to douche and prepare herself. I taught her the finer arts of hand and blow jobs and she eventually learned to full throat.

Remembering those nights at Patpong and those fabulous ben wa balls, I purchased some kegel balls. These were new to Katelyn who had never heard of them. With these she began to learn to control her vaginal and pelvic floor contractions.

She loved loading herself with the vibrating kind when we fucked especially when I had her anal. The vibrating kind could be activated remotely. Sometimes she loaded herself and kept balls in her vagina all day. I would tease her occasionally by randomly activating them. I got an urgent text one day when I buzzed her during an important meeting.

Evntually she developed the superpower of controling her muscles while fucking both anally and with her pussy. Using the balls, it took months for her to perfect but by the end she was a machine, pulsing, gripping and elevating, she could manipulate my appendage like a pro.

She took it all seriously and on her own initiative she purchased a swiss hopper ball to further strengthen her pelvic floors and thigh muscles adding it to her cross fit regimen.

I coached her through this never thinking of the consequences. I became addicted to sex with her, so long as I was getting my fix, nothing else entered my mind. She was such a distraction that I had little interests other than work and sex relieved by the gym, household chores and the runs we did together, which for me was the legacy of what I did to keep fit in Shanghai.

She had a good long tongue like mine and became adept at using it to full advantage. She became obsessed with my testicles. She liked to take them into her mouth and play with them, rolling them around in her mouth and sucking on them. As a result of her oral prowess I submitted to having my hair removed from there and eventually the whole torso.

I introduced her to the idea of yoga that Justine had introduced to me. Taking it up together we tried tantric yoga as that seemed to appeal to Katelyn but she quickly became bored. We spent a lot of time in meditation gazing at one another and synchronising our breathing. Once she had her hand on my heart and waist she would just succumb, she could not restrain herself. Katelyn would never do well at withholding any sex. No mindful mucking around for her; she was an action lady. Cross fit was more her scene and besides she was not as flexible as Justine was with the yoga part and found it a chore. Katelyn could never handle Justine's l'huitre viennoise, that position for me remained special to Justine.

It was inevitable that Katelyn would move in with me. She had been spending most other time in my apartment anyway.

Moving in was a challenge. As a single bloke, I only had a two bedroom apartment. One bedroom was my home office and removing the spare bed there was enough room for her to share. Then there was her crossfit gear. Fortunately the master bedroom was very large and she could do that there. We screwed some brackets onto the door so that she could have a bar there for her pull ups.

After the exertion of moving in we collapsed into bed late with a minimum of lovemaking. That was to change in the morning. I was stirred from an erotic dream by a massive morning wood. As I struggled to make sense of the world I became aware of the activity at the end of the bed. Talk about surprise. There was Katelyn with a kettlebell facing away from me doing her squats... naked! I stared at her, watching those glutes opening and closing, exposing her butt hole as she raised and lowered. My morning wood seemed to grow to painfully rigid new heights,

Without thinking of consequences I decided that action was the only recourse. I fumbled in the drawer of my side table for some lube. And with a cry of geronimo or something similar lunged toward her. She didn't seem surprised and she had obviously prepared herself as I slipped in easily up to the hilt with her globes pressed into my groin. From that satisfactory event anal squats entered our sexual repertoire.

I was never tempted to take up cross fit and was content to watch her in the mornings. It was different from Justine whose yoga was a slow ballet. Katelyn's exercise, true to her personality, was frenetic, and now regularly ended in a new regime to her exercise where I pounded her before leaving to pound the pavements together for our 5 Ks around the bays.

*****

Even though she had moved in I was still worried about her fidelity. She was very attractive to other men and I needed to ensure that we had an exclusive relationship. I didn't suspect she was seeing someone else but then again I didn't know what went on at the gym or any other place she was at when we were not together.

I told her about one of my earlier girlfriends, her name was Chloe. " I met Chloe at uni. We had been going out for a month or so and I was sharing a two bedroom flat with a friend at the time. She was living with her parents and wanted to move in so I said she could as long as it was an exclusive relationship. That lasted all of two weeks until I came home and walking in the door I could literally smell the sex. She had been shagging my flatmate. She looked like she had only just finished as she was as red as a beetroot.

I think that was the first time I had ever smelt sex on a woman. I called my flat mate from his room and he looked as guilty as hell. I challenged them on it and they admitted it, claiming it was only the once. My name was on the lease so I evicted them. Chloe didn't seem to think it was any big deal and I asked what part of exclusive did she not understand.

Anyway, they left and I advertised for a new flat mate. That's when Natalie moved in. We grew together until we grew apart. But here's the thing, do you want to be exclusive because there will be no compromise from me."

Katelyn was adamant that she felt the same way. We fitted in easily with one another. Katelyn initially had insisted that she cook. It seemed she wanted to prove herself as a wife. I was happy to oblige but over time I became more engaged in the meals. I found her a little rudimentary in her tastes. I think her being young and used to a diet of hamburgers and pizza limited her but she learnt and eventually we would often cook together as I had done with Justine.

The one thing I did not lose was that feeling of lust when we were in close proximity. Whatever she had, pheromones or whatever, sexually she had a hold over me.

Nick and Suki had brought some gel back from Japan as a present so we decided to try nuru massage, which was great for a while but too messy to keep it up. Again Kaelyn became bored with it.

We used to smoke weed from time to time to enhance our lovemaking but we tried MDMA. I suppose it was OK, but with MDMA I had trouble sustaining a hard on. I was wary of getting involved with drugs anyway and insisted we stick only with weed.

We bought all sorts of dildos and gadgets and tried light forms of bondage sex

Her natural determination in understanding all she could about sex reflected on why she had excelled so much in her career. She became incredibly focussed on being the absolute best.

I drew on what I had learnt from the working girls in Hongkong. She was fascinated with my experiences in China, but she was never very interested in Justine. To her my previous history went back to China and before that was ancient history. However she was the recipient of cultural habits and interests from my time with Justine's family in Europe. I opened her eyes to opera and orchestral works and it reignited her passion for dance, she had once shared with Lauren.

Every so often I needed to travel to Asia as part of my work. She hated being apart from me so where we could, I took her with me. However, we never visited that side of Hong Kong I had experienced when I travelled down with the guys from Shanghai.

She wanted to but I did not. I thought that would be a step too far.

It was inevitable that we began to talk about a future together. By this time Justine was a distant memory. Justine and my separation was now complete in my mind and she no longer invoked the emotions she once did. Katelyn made Justine's existence irrelevant. I couldn't even say whether I forgave Justine for her betrayal or not. In fact if anything, I thought it was a blessing because it brought me Katelyn.

I was comfortable with Katelyn. She was certainly not a gold digger or social climber. Her aspirations were all through her work. She always dressed professionally for work and deliberately provocative or revealing. She was never overtly made up and always seemed naturally sexy without being skanky. Hell, even her proximity was enough to get me going. Maybe that was just me.

Casually she was always chic without being ostentatious. She liked lingerie but despite our sexual exploits never went over the top. Neither was she one for the accoutrements of wealth, the expensive jewellery and so on. She had beauty, and she knew it. No point in gilding the lily she would say. She was a package that felt very safe at the time and in the early days she did nothing that would cause me not to trust her.

Being older I was keen on the idea of children. Katelyn gave lip service to that but in retrospect she did not see that for herself. Whatever, we were in love, or more probably in lust because there was very little of the romance between us, not like it was with Justine. The extraordinary thing was that I can't even remember either of us saying we loved one another in those early days. I now think that should have been an ominous sign but Katelyn seemed to dismiss romance. She found it, in her words, 'cheesy.' The demands of work and our close proximity, day and night meant that we took all that for granted. We did not celebrate anniversaries and valentines day. Katelyn wanted none of it.

Despite all this I proposed anyway. It happened while on our first work trip to Hong Kong together as guests of Brendon Chan in Stanley Bay. On that trip I discovered that Katelyn was actually a sort of protege of Brendon's. She worked in his team and he took a personal interest in her development. I doubt if there was anything between them other than business in those days. I did wonder when the offer arose for us to both stay with him.

I had business with him about a possible project and Katelyn came along for the ride, so to speak. I proposed over a lunch we were having at the top of an absurdly tall building. It must have been the view. We were busily saying 'oh wow' at the vista and it just popped out. I asked her there and then. Katelyn got tremendously excited about it and we caught the elevator downtown and we spent an entire afternoon looking at very expensive rings.

Katelyn and I did not generally mix with my old friends. I am not sure that Suki and Consuela ever approved of the relationship. I was certainly taken aback when I proudly announced our engagement. Consuela responded by saying, "are you really doing the right thing?" Sure she papered over the remark, even apologising but the sting stayed with me.

Katelyn had been brought up by her mother who had split from her father when she was in her early teens. Because of his job, she never really knew her father but none the less he supported her and she idolized the memory of him. As an only child Katelyn could be a bit of a diva and was indulged by her mother. Because of her parents' break up Katelyn was not big on weddings. Her mother had a huge wedding, which Katelyn called a waste.

She had been very much a daddy's girl. He supported her in sports and school life growing up and she was devastated when he left.. Her parent's divorce was acrimonious and her mother got full custody. She did not wholly blame her mother as infidelity had gone both ways. '

She used to visit her mother quite regularly but without me. I saw it as a symptom of our age difference. Of course, when we got engaged I really had to meet her as soon as we returned to New Zealand. I approached the visit with some trepidation. I expected her mother to think of me as some evil svengali seducing and stealing her only child. But I found her charming to the point of flirtatious. She was a glamorous woman or would like to be. She was surprised at Katelyn and my age difference. She had not been told and I got the distinct impression she would have liked me for herself.

She struck me as a person of conservative moral values so my being so much older was difficult to come to terms with. She did instil in Katelyn the importance of self-reliance. To be a go-getter as her mother and father had been. Competition ran in the family and I felt there was a tendency with her mother to compete with Katelyn for my attention.

We were 6 months into our relationship when we got engaged and Katelyn, not wanting to waste time, insisted we were married soon after our engagement. It was just a registry office job. I am sure her mother would have liked her only daughter to have a big wedding but Katelyn decided. In her pragmatic mind, getting married quickly would overcome any angst with her mother. So there we were getting it over and done with. Lauren made a reappearance as her witness and Nick for me as mine, followed by a boozy night out with some work friends.

It struck me then how few casual friends Katelyn had. I asked her about the two shadowy, self styled, non binary flatmates that I had only ever met once. She passed them off saying with disdain,"Oh them? They are just lesbians." The implication was that she didn't really care for lesbians.

I realised then that friends were people who could do something for her. Work friends were important for that reason. How different she was from Justine.

My parents did attend our wedding, but because of their own commitments and the suddenness of the timing, my siblings did not. My parents were polite with Katelyn but I doubt they ever approved. It was the only time they ever met her and we never attended any family events together.

So altogether we were socially insular. Apart from my core friends I had mainly acquaintances. Both of us had little free time. At home we would blob out in front of TV or our devices or just simply read. Katelyn had more social activity related to her work than I did and was called upon to travel more than me. Over time this increased. I missed getting out into the countryside as much as I did in the past but we tried to get out when we could. When we went to concerts or shows we did not go with others. It was always just us.

When we were at a function together or just out, Katelyn would be a striking partner. She had just the right level of curviness. A little top heavy with just enough butt to balance it. She liked to wear white to formal occasions or light colours that accentuated her figure. She was not what you would call demure but never slutty. Eyes would follow us when we entered a crowded room. She revelled in those eyes, striking a little pose or smiling back. Her ability to attract attention never worried me then as she would claim me in public by always being close, her arm in mine. Her attraction brought people to us and we were never lacking for people to talk to. I suppose we were at our most happy in those days but alas it would not always be so.

And life went on.

******

A year into our relationship things began to change, subtle things. Our sexual relationship had been torrid, beginning with a hiss and a roar, but eventually it became clear that her libido was larger than mine, in fact I was beginning to wonder if she was sex addicted. The pressure didn't help. It was when I had to resort to the little blue pill I started to worry. As with my opposition to MDMA I did not like the idea of resorting to chemicals. I was running out of ideas to keep the spark going. Katelyn floated the idea of getting others involved in our sex life and I nipped that in the bud. We had discussed that early in our relationship and made it absolutely clear that I wanted a monogamous partnership. Life was busy enough as it was, I did not want to complicate it with a tangle of emotional connections.

In truth, I think the sex life was getting a little repetitive.

Katelyn was starting to travel more with her work as she took on more responsibility. This took the pressure off me but she still fretted about being apart when I travelled.

Our major waterfront complex design was now being documented so I was travelling less and less as I concentrated my efforts on that. Effectively Katelyn and I were starting to grow apart. I see that now. Often I didn't know what Katelyn was doing. The one thing we had was our morning runs together and only when we could. This allowed us to connect.

That said, we still had a busy evening schedule around events, dinners, etc. Often we would partner at work events. Our work streams, although separate, were close enough for each to partner one another in support. Doing this allowed us to be at least together but it wasn't private time.

I have to say she was impressive when handling clients or her contractors. Katelyn was not normally flirtatious, she was all business. Even after a few drinks she kept close to me or we pulled one another around when we circulated. After about a year that began to change. Possibly with her growing confidence with business partners, I noticed her beginning to get more relaxed and perhaps even a little flirtatious. Did it worry me? To an extent, but ominously parallel to this I felt I was losing my attraction to her.

Little things that were once endearing were becoming irritating. At times I wondered whether I had ever really been in love with her or it was all just lust. Justine resurfaced in mind and I began to compare how I felt with Justine and how it was different. In fact, in a word, I was becoming a little indifferent toward her.

We also ceased to talk about our future. Children went out the window. The only time we talked about the future was over a house I was planning for us. I had bought some land in a rural lifestyle location. We would keep the town house and build something spectacular for a country retreat.

Change took a lurch when Brendon had her travel to Hong Kong on a work project. Brendon talked to me about it saying he thought she was at a level now where she should be involved internationally. This was an extraordinary opportunity for her but I could see long periods where we would be apart. Should my alarm bells have been ringing? Maybe, but as I said, I was beginning to feel a little indifferent toward her.

She stayed over in Hong Kong about a month getting to understand Brendon's head office operation. To her credit we had a video link up every night. It was 10 pm for me as Hong Kong was four hours behind. We would talk for half an hour or more. She was always on time and there was never anything that would cause me any qualms.

When she returned we had a sexual renaissance of sorts. She warned me in her last video call that she was becoming very very horny, so be prepared. And true to her word as soon as she had closed the door to the apartment her hands were up my sweater. "I need to get to the shower. Maybe you should join me."

She lifted my sweater over my head as I held her hips. The T-shirt followed. I unbuttoned her blouse one by one as I reached in and kissed her. Our tempo picked up as she shed her blouse. She turned and let me unclasp her bra then dropped it, turned again and gave her breasts a shimmy, causing them to tremble. Katelyn's boobs hung slightly, conical with pink nipples and large areola. She pressed them into my chest as she reached in to kiss again, this time with more passion as her tongue searched my mouth.

She unclasped her skirt, I knelt and eased it down along with her knickers as I exposed her hairless mons I thrust my tongue into her cleft feeling her tiny clit. As I lapped at it she bent over and pulled my head in shuddering with enjoyment. She was bare footed and left for the shower as I shed my shoes and trousers. When I reached the shower she was patiently waiting for the water to warm. As I entered she turned, we kissed again as she grabbed my dick and pulled me under the warm shower,

She turned away from me splashing the water into her blonde hair, hanging sodden on her back. I lathered some soap. Predicting what I was doing, she braced herself on the wall letting her butt project as I ran my lather fingers up her crack. In my mind I picture that butt as she lifted her weights that day so long ago.

This girl was still fit and muscular, her glutes were taut as I forced soapy fingers, one, two into her sphincter. As she relaxed her hole, I forced my rigid appendage all the way, to a place I had been so many times. She stood slightly clenching her glutes then began to rhythmically clench and unclench as I began to pump. When I murmured I was about to cum, she abruptly pulled out murmuring, "save it for the bed."

She turned again and began to soap me from top to bottom. Paying special attention to my cock, rinsing me she knelt down. She still loved to take my balls in her mouth. She swirled them around in her mouth using her tongue, I touched her head, murmuring to be careful. Then unleashing her tongue she began to lap my shaft curling her tongue circling under the rim of the head. She gave attention to the back of my hairless balls and then rising to my mouth we ended with a passionate kiss.

We completed the shower and had hardly dried off when I lifted her and tossed her back on her bed. Her tits splayed to the sides in a shudder and she lifted and spread her legs exposing her plump hairless cleft. I went down on her, working my tongue into her vulva. She was still a leaker and I tasted her prodigious juice, my personal nectar. Then spreading her outer lips, her little pink wishbone became exposed with her gaping vagina below.

How long ago I had seen it closed with the tiny hole in her hymen. I thrust my tongue whirling it around and followed up with my fingers. I felt the tremors in her body as I worked her repetitively with three fingers vigorously under her pubis and rough little g spot. She began to jerk and started to shuffle back. "Get on bed, I want to get on top." Her voice husky with lust.

I crawled up on the bed and laid down as she mounted me. Squatting above me she took my rigid cock and began stroking it along her vulva before lowering herself on to it, Then using her pelvic floor she began pulsing herself, pushing and pulling on the cock the twisting as she did. God she was good. I had taught her this. She had come from an inexperienced novice to one, equal to, if not better than the Hong Kong working girls.

I watched her tits sway and jerk as she did this, her pink nipples standing on end. Finally she twisted and bent over, so that I could watch her from behind. She continued to manipulate my cock with her vagina alone, her anal sphincter twitching. It was all too much and I could not control my orgasm and I filled her.

Now it was my turn to work with her as she lifted herself off leaking our combined juices. She lay back again lifting and spreading her legs as I shuffled in to partake that cocktail of her and my secretions. I moved up her body, my mouth saturated, to play with her tits wetting and sucking on them. As I did so and played with her body I searched for any tell tail signs that she had misbehaved while away. There was none, so relieved I claimed her by giving her a hickey on the side of each breast.

This experience and the daily sex that followed renewed my faith in her. My trust in her was taken to a new level. Our relationship was more than comfortable. Happiness returned. Misplaced perhaps but it did not seem that way to me at the time.

******

The following year was one of intense activity for our waterfront project. Managing the design group meant managing an excited team working on the project of their dreams. In deference to our Maori partners we would begin and end each day with a mihi, a short speech of welcome and closure said in English and Maori. It became a handy way of managing the time the team was dedicating to work. Especially the young graduates. We did not want their enthusiasm keeping them away from their loved ones and their recreation more than necessary. Of course the more senior members of the team would stay on for some uninterrupted work before breaking.

The entire group had grown with separate teams detailing the construction of the main buildings. I was design lead overseeing the entire design group. I oversaw all team design but concentrated on the landmark tower. In parametric design the selection and incorporation of components and preconstructed elements required readjusting the parametric modelling. Then of course there would be client led changes to the design. We had a small group of design managers that oversaw that. Katelyn was seconded to the project to assist the design manager on the landmark tower. This position required her to travel to follow through on selection procurement and quality inspection on major components. Over six months she visited Europe twice, visited locations in New Zealand several times and finally California.

So we were apart much of the time and each time she returned there was a sexual frenzy. We took to video chats. These at times became raunchy with a lot of voyeuristic sex. It all went smoothly apart from her last trip to California. Usually with the others she went with one of our design architects. For Europe Gaspard and Markel accompanied her. For California she went with Richard Wojtszark, an American of Polish heritage who was an interior architect working with us. He had come to us via the old office that Nick and I had worked in when we were in California and had been inserted with our Maori architectural partners. Despite a very casual relationship going back years I did not know him very well but he was one guy that Katelyn liked to flirt with and that disturbed me. Adding to my discomfort she missed some calls while she was there and although it was one of her shortest trips I was unhappy and told her so as soon as he returned. We had very few arguments but that one seemed to halt night time callisthenics for a while. Immediately after that trip she took over as design manager on the landmark tower. Fortunately this meant she was working directly with me and frequent travelling ceased. I was relieved as it suited me after our recent experience.

My experience with her on the job was remarkable. Her mentors had done an excellent job and she was confident, knowledgeable and could handle some of the tougher individuals in the construction world as well as the office teams. At her age you could regard her as precocious. She was a diligent preparer before meetings. This would be frustrating sometimes at home because she would be on her computer to late at night before meetings. I felt we worked together well in fact I did my best to school her on a lot of the technical work she would otherwise not be fully exposed to.

Things were going so well we decided to take a break together. We took the ferry across the strait and began a road tour of the South Island. The weather was great as we drove along the coast of the Caitlins taking in the bush and the sandy beaches, at one point communing with a school of dolphins. When we reached Invercargill the weather turned to crap so we dug in at a local motel. It happened to be the anniversary of us meeting at the Botanic Garden pool watching the ducks. Katelyn, who normally did not celebrate any anniversary, had this one all worked out. We got a box of panhead apa to drink and we ordered an oyster dish from Cafe Kai Moana. Bluff oysters.. Yes! They are the very best. I congratulated Katelyn on great thinking but more was to come.

After consuming a beer or two Katelyn ordered me to take a walk while she prepared herself for a surprise. I wasn't too happy as it was dismal outside, overcast, cold and windy but at least it wasn't raining. I arrived back at the prescribed time to find Katelyn in bed. She ordered me to sit in a small padded lobby chair she had placed at the end of the bed. I wasn't to move until she said so.

She peeled down the duvet to reveal she was dressed in her old school uniform. Something like this must have been planned for this special anniversary as she must have hidden it in her luggage. Early in our relationship we occasionally had a little cosplay with our sex. We didn't like those cringeworthy uniforms you could buy at the sex shop, we did real uniforms. Scrubs was my favorite but at one time or another we did military and cabin staff. The novelty wore off after a while but this was the first time she had used her old private school uniform. Her old headmistress would have blown a foofoo valve if she had known that Katelyn was bringing her school uniform into disrepute, but I loved it. The thing is, it still fitted, although probably a little tight around the bust.

As she peeled the duvet down further she spread her legs and pulled her skirt up exposing white panties, which were already stained, a little wet. I presumed she was obviously very turned on planning this. Then she took an opened bottle of panhead apa from the side table, finished it off, then spreading her legs again began to stroke the crease in her panties making that wet patch a little wider. Next step she peeled off her panties and tossed them at me. I caught them with one hand and could not resist giving them a sniff, giving an audible mmmm, to let her know that I appreciated her tease.

Her hairless snatch was now fully exposed with her skirt pulled right back and she stretched her legs aside stroking her obviously aroused and swollen wet cleft with the long neck of the bottle. She finally plunged it deep into her vagina. She grasped the bottle in both hands and she began to pump, sliding it up and down, the bottle ending further and further into her vagina.

Her next act was to pull the bottle out and turn it around. She began to work her swollen clit by rotating her fingers with one hand while she eased the blunt end of the bottle back into her cunt until just the neck was showing. She continued to rotate her fingers and with her marvellous kegel action slowly squeezed the bottle out. She lifted her hands so that I could have a full view as she did this, stop, then suck it back. She then proceeded to do this as a continuous action like a piston. Slowly in, slowly out.

I could hardly contain myself and went to rise but she cried 'wait.' Katelyn then turned over so that her bum was in the air with the neck of the bottle obtruding from her stretched vulva. She pulled her glutes apart and began flexing her sphincter. Now she cried out, pointing at a vial of lube on the side table. Quickly I was lubed up and aiming for the winking hole, I eased my cock head into her well dilated anus. This was so easy, Katelyn's sphincter was well used to the attention.

I sank it all the way then Katelyn flexed her anus to grip me so that I was trapped with my balls painfully pressed against the bottle neck and her butt globes hard pressed into my groin. As I tried to pull my tumescent cock from her anus I spontaneously came, spasming my sperm deep into her rectum.

Oh the royal cum of all cums!

My deflating cock slipped as Katelyn ejected the bottle. What a memorable performance it had been, a veritable blast!

******

The next morning the performance did not seem so great, feeling a little depressed. I think I was so attached to my work that after a few days I began to miss it. Work withdrawal symptoms, I suppose.

I was up before Katelyn and was sitting at a small table drinking tea. Feeling down, I began to have negative thoughts about our relationship, thinking perhaps the sex had gone too far. It seemed to distract us from the reality of our relationship. Wasn't it becoming a little perverse doing this sort of thing and besides where does it lead?

What do we have to do to keep the novelty in our sex lives going? While it had been great working closely together the other facets of our lives had not progressed. We no longer talked about the future or children nor had the house design moved forward. It seemed like our work had captured us both.

I looked around me. I hadn't noticed it the night before but the motel room, although clean, seemed a little down, slightly seedy and sordid, matching my mood. As pleasurable as the evening before had been I was suddenly beset with new doubts about our relationship.

When Katelyn eventually arose I did not burden her with my thoughts but there were doubts that would stay with me as we drove back to Wellington and our everyday lives.

*****

Weirdly about then our sex life took an upswing but with a difference. She initiated and insisted on a routine, by which she would have us undressing one another. She could get quite passionate with this, breathing heavily and thrusting herself against me. Once naked she would push me down onto my knees. She would repeatedly stretch her little clit until it was swollen and erect, then pushing her pelvis into my face and pulling her vulva back. She had me sucking on her clit as though it was a dick. It seemed to get her really excited, and I would work at it sucking and using my tongue until she pulled back and collapsed onto the bed, rolling over onto her stomach. With her head in a pillow she pulled her knees up until her arse was high and wide. I would take some lube and play with her arse, glutes and finger the lube around her sphincter before taking her anally. She wanted it rough and hard, which was unlike anything we had done before. It went on repeatedly until one night she came home with a strapon.

My reaction was "what the fuck do you want to do with that? Is my cock not big enough or something."

"I thought you might want to try pegging."

"You want to fuck me like I have been fucking you?"

"Sort of."

"Where the fuck did you get it?"

"Lauren gave it to me."

This was the first I had heard she had fallen back in with Lauren.

"One, no way are you getting that anywhere near my butt hole with that and two, how come you are back with Lauren, did she put you up to it?"

"She said you might find it fun. We have never tried this before and you normally like to try new things.

There was no particular explanation to them renewing their friendship, in fact I thought it would be good for her. On the other hand the strapon cemented in my mind that perhaps Lauren was lesbian. There had never been a steady guy. She always seemed to be a loner and I never twigged to which way she swung. Katelyn never mentioned it.

It was the end of that year that our relationship took yet another turn, or should I say swerve. She was still friendly with Lauren but it had remained casual. Noticeably she did not invite her to our apartment, she would meet her for lunch and she would see her at the gym.

There was nothing to indicate to me that the relationship was sexual and as Katelyn had so few personal friends except those from her work, call me naive but I thought it was healthy as Lauren seemed to have a stabilising effect on Katelyn. This was at a difficult time work wise and with my schedule their friendship took a load of emotional pressure off me.

One day she announced that she and Lauren were taking a girls trip to Hong Kong. Now that caught me by surprise. Katelyn seemed to have developed her fascination with the place and wanted Lauren to share it. I couldn't argue but it did not stop me being puzzled about it.

Well I gave her my blessing and saw them off at the airport but this time there was very little communication between us while she was away for the full two weeks. I was now having serious thoughts that there was a lesbian relationship between them. If not sexual, emotional at the very least. The thing I did not do that I regret was to challenge Katelyn on it. I think I was afraid to upset things in a way that I couldn't control. Yeah, I know, denial.

I was extremely busy at that time with the project and it was frustrating organising a suitable time to make contact with her while she was away.. Either I called and it went to voicemail or I was not available. I would call back and voicemail again. What contact we made was brief and less than satisfactory. On her return we had a huge argument, the worst of our married life. She was evasive about what she was doing in Hong Kong apart from eating, hiking the Dragons Back Trail, sightseeing and shopping.

To my regret I still did not bring up my thoughts about their lesbianism and I effectively lost trust in her from that point on. With work all consuming I relapsed into indifference toward her and she me. The house we had been planning had still not made any progress and using my work commitments as an excuse, just ceased.

Katelyn also inexplicably terminated her position as tower design manager and returned directly to Brendon's organisational stream. She never discussed this with me and I was pipped and told her so. She defended herself by telling me it was her life. That stung, never had she used such an argument before.

Ominously Richard Wojtszark left us and joined Brendon as well. Now my worry about Lauren switched back to Richard.

Apparently Brendon Chan had begun his strategic thrust into the American market by using his New Zealand company to overcome US resistance to Chinese investment. He was putting in plan his strategy of using the New Zealand office as a trojan horse. Richard was taken on because of his Californian network and Brendon had future plans for Katelyn in his organisation with an eye on the US market..

As Katelyn and I had not had any discussion about our future for sometime, this seemed to be a development taking her away from me. We had had virtually no intimate life since she returned from Hong Kong with Lauren. What sex we had was just me banging away at her. I was harbouring some resentment I suppose and just expressed it with some rough sex. She didn't seem to care and there was little reciprocation from her.

Well they left. I didn't even see Katelyn off at the airport. They were to meet one of Brendon's US directors there and develop some kind of programme forward, including ingratiating themselves with potential clients. Part of her brief was to look for potential projects involving design as well as development. I suggested to Brendon some names that Richard and Katelyn could follow up.

They were there for over a month and there was simply radio silence between Katelyn and me. I had my work, I didn't care and god knows what she was getting up to. I think at that point I had decided that our marriage was effectively kaput. We had fallen into a routine that never seemed to have anything going for us except sex and our work. Now her work had become some sort of secret squirrel exercise. Coupled with that I was highly suspicious of Richard whats-his-name and just assumed some sort of affair between them. Katelyn and I had long since appeared at many functions together. Nobody on the team said anything about the relationship between Richard and her. I just assumed she was discreet about it.

I wasn't really angry about it. Just depressingly sad. I couldn't be bothered talking about it, I realised I had lost my attraction for her.. And from her behaviour it appeared the feeling was mutual. I went as far as taking time to visit a lawyer about my options and it appeared an amicable divorce would not cost me much. I am not a money focussed person myself, we did have a prenup as I do believe in protecting myself.

While Katelyn was away I met Lauren for coffee to try and get some answers. Lauren was still as beautiful as ever and I must admit with my relationship with Katelyn at a low ebb I was tempted to make a pass at Lauren. Thank god I didn't. Lauren was evasive. She pointed out that Katelyn was her oldest friend and her loyalty was to her. She did indicate that our feelings were probably mutual. I mentioned that divorce might be on the cards. I didn't care if that bit of information got back to Katelyn anyway as I planned on bringing it up with her return. Lauren nodded sagely and said it was probably for the best. I asked her to help to make it amicable and she said she would try. We parted on that sombre note.

******

When Katelyn returned from the states it was now a good six months or more from that fateful trip to Hongkong. It seemed that in six months our relationship had gone from go to woe.

I actually arranged to meet her at the airport on a Friday evening. I was curious to see what interaction between her and Richard might be. I needn't have bothered as they did not come in on the same flight.

When she saw me, as she came through the gates, she raised her eyebrows not expecting me but she gave me a wane smile and came over and gave me a peck on the cheek. How different from last year.

The thing is she looked awful. She was staring at me with dilated pupils, which made me wonder whether she was resorting to drugs. She was haggard and pale, hair in a mess. I remarked she looked tired and she put it down to jet lag and an awful flight.

I got her back to the apartment and sat her down with a glass of wine to have the talk. Obviously that took her by surprise. I wanted to let her down gently. I talked about how we were drifting apart and this work in the US would take her away from me. I told her it was a repeat of my experience with Justine. Our careers were now going in different directions. She said it was not like that and we could work something out. She said she didn't want a divorce. She said everything had got on top of her. She actually started to cry, something she never normally did. I felt she was close to breakdown. We then made promises to reignite our relationship but she should get some sort of counselling or psychological help because I was extremely worried about her. Despite my indifference I did care about her.

If only she had

*****

She slept nearly all day on Saturday and by Sunday she was looking a lot better. She did not feel up to a morning run so I suggested we take a break and go for a picnic in the country. I drove to a favorite spot I sometimes used to find peace. Being secluded, it was an underused picnic spot beside a small lake. When I'd been there before it had been deserted despite having an inviting swimming hole. It was grassed with a few totara and cabbage trees and a small stream running into the lake bordering some farmland. There was a ricketty old wooden picnic table covered in lichen and well past its best. So I took out a blanket I kept in the car and laid it out privately behind a low bush.

It couldn't have been more peaceful, the only noise was the breeze clattering in some cabbage trees around us.

I didn't want to discuss her trip outcomes too much. There was to be a review on the following Wednesday where I would be sitting in on and I knew Katelyn would be working hard Monday and Tuesday to prepare for that. I did ask generally if there was anything in it for the architectural team and I noticed she was evasive about that, just saying she had an interesting lead. Her demeanour puzzled me. Despite having rested she still appeared nervous and slightly agitated,

We returned to the subject of us. I recalled how well we worked together in those six months where neither of us were travelling and for once we were working as a team at home as well as at work. I suggested that we should reorganise our lives to work more closely together. I then got a diatribe on what a huge opportunity for her the move into the US was. It seemed all about her, I didn't rate a mention. It dawned on me at that point that as an only child she was very self interested. She no longer had a need for our relationship and she was now steering her ship in a different direction.

I asked her. "What was your attraction to me in the first place?"

I caught her off guard, she stuttered and I continued," Was I just your trophy boy?"

"Katelyn giggled at that. "Hey, yeah sure, you should get into some male maxxing, bulk out a bit, fake tan, a little bit of botox."

The exchange broke the tension a little and she opened up. "To be honest I think there is a little bit of that, but there's more. It's complicated."

"So what can I do to restore my attractiveness?"

Katelyn turned sombre, staring straight ahead." Just be yourself, don't change."

"But it was not enough, was it?... Just remember you married a man not an accessory. Not something you could discard when you are tired of it."

We relapsed into silence.

As I sat there a few cattle beasts ambled up the paddock next to us and stood in a line looking at us curiously. I wondered what their take was on this odd couple of humans talking so earnestly. They were just bystanders to the growing drama.

I now became more distracted by the life around us, detaching myself from the conversation. A gangly pukeko and its black chick marched its silly walk past us in the shallows of the lake and gave a squawk catching both of our attention. The subject of its alarm was a hawk lazily wheeling in the azure sky catching thermals over the low green grass covered hills around us. A predator patiently searching for prey and the fluffy chick would do nicely. Something about that made me think of Richard and it brought me out of my idyll and down to earth. Katelyn had not mentioned him since returning but she must have spent most of her time working with him.

It was time, I thought, to expose my unmentioned rival.

"How's your relationship with Richard? Is all..." She abruptly cut me off.

"Who have you been talking to? What did they say?" She sounded angry

"Whoa, whoa whoa, why are you defensive? It was purely an innocent question. I haven't spoken to anyone."

She calmed down. "I'm sorry. I am a little jumpy I suppose. Still feeling jet lagged."

Her response did not convince me, so I moved on. "You say you don't want a divorce but you don't seem to have thought about our future. Where do I fit in with this US opportunity? I will probably sound a little jealous about bringing up Richard but he has been seeing more of you than your husband. You will end up permanently in the states, I can see that coming.

If I don't have any business in the States then we are going to be history. Furthermore on the subject of Richard, I have no evidence of you getting together, but I believe you have, and I will not share you with anyone. You need to think about this seriously, you are leaving me behind." She stared at me with her mouth open, apparently not knowing what to say.

"What do you really think? Do you want to stay married?"

"Of course."

"Why?" I was abrupt.

"I love you."

That was new. Love was a cheesy four lettered word for her. I wondered if she really meant it. "So you have now decided you do love me. You never talked about love in the past. You always thought talking about love was cringy. Why do you bring it up now?"

"I suppose you don't know what you have until you are losing it. Look, when I was a kid My Mum and Dad were all over each other saying they they loved one another, then suddenly Mum is porking the dude down the street and Dad fucks off. What am I supposed to think? If we are truly in love why talk about it all the time."

"Do you love Richard?"

"Thats ridiculous."

"Really? Well we certainly do not have a healthy relationship."

"Ok, we don't go out much anymore, hell we hardly see one another, and well, life is a bit beige with you, you know. I mean you're cool, there's no ick factor. Just not a lot of fun together.'

"Hey!" I got annoyed at that disclosure."It takes two you know. Maybe you should think about that."

I continued off point," How is your relationship with Lauren? You are such close friends, you've known each other for so long. Have a chat with her."

Despite the fact that she had only relatively recently been on holiday with her she sounded irritated that I had brought Lauren up, she had little to say just passing Lauren off with, "Oh Lauren, what would she know? She doesn't like you anyway."

I was shocked at that statement. I had never got the impression that Lauren did not like me. I kept quiet just believing that it was an angry statement by Katelyn, meant to hurt me rather than a statement of fact."

I moved on to more inconsequential things to move back onto a more amicable level and we both became relaxed. We were laying stretched on the blanket. I leant over and pulled a plastic box out of a tote bag containing some filled ciabatta rolls. I had some wine in a cooler and filled a couple of plastic glasses. As we sipped and ate we settled, the green bush and paddocks around us combined with the birds to calm us, the tension of the earlier conversation dissipating. I began to feel Katelyn's natural attraction overpowering me as she snuggled up, her head on my chest.

She gently nuzzled my ear, "touch me," she whispered. She was wearing a short skirt and blouse without stockings so I laid my hand on her inner thigh, and kissed her while making my way up until my hand reached her lacey french knickers. It was easy, I began caressing her mons and that turned the tap on. As her passion rose she began to gyrate finally pushing me onto my back, she lifted a leg over and straddled me. Shifting back she undid my belt and pulled down my fly to expose my dick that was coming to attention. She scooped my balls as her mouth and throat drew in my dick. Her ability to deep throat was phenomenal and with dexterous use of her tongue I was treated to a blow job fit for an emperor. I didn't question it at the time, just basked in ecstasy as she adroitly played me, not letting me cum just stringing me along.

She then straddled my cock and started to rub her sodden knickers up and down my cock. Wrapping them in the silk to give me a short hand job, then lifting herself she tore them off, throwing them aside, and it was back to her bare bald pussy as she rubbed her slippery vulva up and down my shaft. Her two plump pale white wings seem to flap as she thrusted back and forth, my cock firmly trapped between them. Finally feeling that I was about to come she lifted herself then dropped, her vagina enveloping my cock and clamping it as only Katelyn could. Using her kegels she then squeezed then pushing and pulling at my dick gave me one almighty orgasm.

She shuffled up until she could press her pussy against my face, this time she whispered huskily, "taste me Chris, taste me like you used to." I began by lapping. I always loved to taste her smooth mons and vulva. It reminded me, as a kid licking some mornay sauce off the plate of a delicious meal my mother had made. I did this diligently stroking her clit with my tongue and sucking it, driving Katelyn to paroxisms, spasming as she came.

We removed each other's tops to enable us to snuggle bare skin to bare skin. She unbuttoned me and I unbuttoned her, struggling to unclasp her bra at the back. We lay in relaxed post coital bliss, her tits compressed against me with just a hint of her stiff nipples to tease me.

I guess I must have been feeling the love, for on impulse, damn, I almost said it, you know. I almost said 'I love you'. What the fuck was I thinking. Would I have meant it or was it just the emotion of the moment, a kind of wishful thinking. And she picked it up, I only got as far as 'I' but she seemed to know what I was going to say.

"Chris" she said, "what is it? What do you want to say?"

I stuttered.

She continued, "is it that you love me?"

She had me on the mat. I tried to distract her from the point.

"You know we never say those things..."

The comment was left hanging. The moment passed.

In retrospect that would have been the worst possible thing to say at the worst possible time. It would have created expectations that would never have been delivered on. In fact no intention to.

We both fell into silence realising in the light of history that statement would have been a delusion and wrong for, as I was to find out, it was already too late for that.

My darker thoughts returned. At this time I did not know what she had been doing in the States. Naive I guess. I was more worried about Richard but even with him I really had no proof that she had been fucking him. Despite all, I still had a vestige of trust in her or was it vain hope. It was the paternal part of me, I cared. I wanted to believe she cared for me.

Breaking the silence we decided to pack up and leave. On the way back to town I thought of our earlier conversation. It had already disturbed me into a need to take some positive action. I now firmly believed we really were history. I thought to myself that this pleasant sojourn in the country may well be the last time we made love to one another. I thought over her trip to the states and her behaviour on her return wondering if she had got herself into some sort of danger. I thought of our lovemaking, so spontaneous and reconnecting. That short period of renewed marital bliss now seemed dirty and sordid. It was a quick, no holds barred, roll in the hay, so to speak.

What had she done in the States, should I get tested for an STD. I'd take the risk but I was certain then I wanted out of the marriage. At the same time I felt for the woman I married in that she could be out of her depth and in grave danger. My intuition would prove to be correct.

During our conversation in the car Katelyn still could not give me a coherent reason not to divorce. She said it was because she loved me but those were just words and I told her that. I asked her what she loved about me and I got a load of twaddle about I being her anchor and I was someone she looked up to. I replied that yes that was true in the past but she is not exhibiting behavior that would lead me to trust her on that. She said she would change but she had said that before. I left it to agree to disagree and with no resolution I was faced with taking unilateral action, much that I hated to. We had our fun times once, there was potential for us, but no way of achieving it.

*****

The next couple of days we ran around the bays together before going to work. As we ran I thought over the discussions in the park. The darkness had left me, there was something about our running together that seemed to bond us. After the weekend everything seemed calm so I felt no need to bring the issues up again. I also noticed she had been putting on weight. I realised she had neglected her crossfit exercises since travelling to the States so I brought that up. I was astonished when she said she had given that away. I remarked that I thought it would be healthy for her to continue but I was met with stony silence on the subject.

On the Wednesday when I sat in on the review to hear what results they had for their month in California, Richard and Katelyn talked effusively about a property development group based out of Reno in the States with a curious name, Starry Skies Developments. They talked glowingly of the potential of collaborations on development in New Zealand and the US. Starry Skies were very interested in using Brendon's organisation for leverage in Asia.

I asked if they had followed up with any of the contacts I had passed on to Brendon and they shut me down. There were no leads there and I would just have to be patient as they worked with the positive associations they had established. I actually rose and left the meeting at that stage, there was nothing in it for our design group.

What disturbed me most was that I had contacted an old friend, Jordan, who I had worked with in my years in California. He sounded extremely positive about the possibilities of collaboration.

So I rang him to find out if they had contacted him. I caught him in the late afternoon. He first off expressed surprise as he thought it would be me meeting him over there, and he really did not know these two who he called Dick and Lynn.

I apologised to him, "Sorry about that, it is on me. They are a property arm of Brendon Chan's organisation but on this initial trip they were supposed to be sounding out opportunities and I was to follow up. But didn't you meet Brendon himself?"

"Yes briefly, at the first meeting. He was a nice guy, I admit, and he explained some of what you said, but why does he employ assholes like Dick and Lynn?"

I realised he didn't know that Katelyn was my wife. I decided to let it go on otherwise discovering she was my wife would embarrass him and cause him to hold back. "Why are you calling them Dick and Lynn? They are Richard and Katelyn."

"Oh Katelyn is it? She was calling herself Lynn. As to Dick, I prefer Dick to Richard, Dick by name, dick by nature. Listen, we don't want to do business with those two. If they represent your organisation then I am afraid it's a no go."

"I am sorry to hear that, what the hell did they do?"

"The first meeting went OK I suppose. That Brendon was good. Following that meeting Dick and Lynn invited a few of us and our spouses to an evening's entertainment. I have got to ask it, are those two Dick and Lynn married or is he her pimp?"

"What the fuck are you talking about."

"They were all over each other all night and apparently Dick offered the services of Lynn to my Vice President. The club we went to after dinner was one they frequented so I made some enquiries with someone who knew them there.. From what I heard they are both in the fast lane and are in the process of obliterating themselves. They must be costing Brendon's organisation a packet. Even the car they were driving.

I will tell you something more. At the club we met one of their potential clients, it was a crowd called Starry Skies from Nevada. I will tell you now they are bad news, they have a very bad reputation. Look I better not say more, just take what I say as a warning. Do your own due diligence."

Jordan rang off abruptly, which was sad because we had once been good friends. I immediately gave Brendon a ring to warn him out. I also said I suspect Katelyn of getting into drugs. Of course this was all hearsay for him but he said he would investigate things. He was going to take it seriously and he asked me to monitor the situation with Katelyn and report back to him. I didn't like spying on my wife for her employer but in all honesty it was the only right thing to do to stop her getting into real trouble. I made a few discrete enquiries locally and I rapidly got the picture that she was a high functioning party girl. It sounded as though her Stateside trip was causing the wheels to fall off the high functioning bit.

Why the fuck I had not seen it I don't know. We were living our own lives, I guess. At that point I was working up to 80 hours plus weeks. I couldn't always keep track of what she was doing.

I began feeling angry about the whole thing, so that evening I decided to challenge her about what I had heard from Jordan. Katelyn arrived later than me but as soon as she was through the door and taking off her jacket she knew something was up. I was obviously very agitated and was pacing about.

"Whats happened," she asked nervously.

"You told the review meeting that there was no luck with the connections I gave Brendon in California for you."

"That's correct, why is there a problem?"

"You are damn right there is a problem."

She cringed.

"I rang Jordan, I had passed his details on to Brendon for you to meet. Jordan and I were close buddies back in the day and he was really looking forward to teaming up. After the review I was amazed there was not a good result so I rang him."

Katelyn muttered, "Oh shit!"

"Yes! oh shit indeed. He was not very complimentary about Richard. He described him as Dick by name dick by nature. What the fuck happened? He was not very complimentary about that Starry Skies crowd either. Do you have any idea who you are dealing with? That crowd is associated with organised crime, drugs and trafficking. For all I know they have you earmarked for trafficking."

I was probably stretching the truth as far as I knew it but I didn't think I was too far off. "I dearly hope you have not brought any drugs into this apartment and you are not fucking Dick or anyone else. That would be instant divorce. But most of all keep well clear of Starry Skies or the nights might not be so starry. By the way, Brendon is aware of their reputation."

I had decided not to disclose all that Jordan had said. I knew that my marriage was over but I held my piece. I wanted her to head off Starry Skies and I did not want her and Richard scared off before Brendon was able to investigate what happened in California.

Obviously Katelyn wanted to know how much Jordan had told me nervously asking, "What else did Jordan say."

"Not much," I lied," but just what I told you has made me very angry and very disappointed in you. A step wrong at this stage could kill your career."

I wasn't going to disclose how I felt until this worked out so I swallowed my anger as much as I could and resolved to be civil.

That evening the atmosphere was very cold and the following days were just as chilly, mainly on my part. Katelyn just took it and never said a word. In the following days the chilliness slowly thawed in fact we became almost like a normal couple again with us both being remarkably civil and thoughtful. Katelyn kept me informed about what she was doing. I cut down my hours so I could keep track of Katelyn.

We began regularly having our meals together again, working around each other to prepare and clean up. We also recommenced sharing our household duties, cleaning and washing. We were regularly running together again. We were sleeping together but there was no sex although some affection was creeping back as she would cuddle beside me while in front of the TV. I wondered about her possible addiction from the way she was when she first arrived back from the States but there were no obvious signs of that to me. It seemed that suddenly all was normal and I couldn't help thinking that it would not last. This was too normal to be believed.

Katelyn never mentioned Richard and I didn't ask. I passed him one day, when he was in the atelier for some reason. As I passed I caught him smirking at me. I just greeted him with, "Hi Richard, something funny?"

That caught him by surprise, he sneered and muttered something I couldn't hear. So I said, "I am looking forward to when you can pick up on some development with design content. How is that progressing?"

I knew this was an objective that Brendon had set him. I also knew that although Brendon was not at the post trip review, Brendon would have spoken with Richard following the trip and probably dressed him down about it. Richard's hubris deflated and he lowered his head as I passed on.

Katelyn had said nothing about the conversation between Richard and Brendon but that did not worry me, I was in regular contact with Brendon anyway.

Meanwhile the new normal was still a little too normal. Katelyn and I only talked about everyday things. I did not want to upset the atmosphere, in fact this new peace had me reviving my own old feelings for her although tinged with the feeling that it would fall apart all too soon.

To add to my woes the waterfront project became stalled. It had been building for months. There had been a change of government with a new right leaning regime at the helm. They immediately instituted a policy of economic austerity. Brendon was incensed about this as he believed it would stall the economy and that would affect his investments. He always said that you had to spend money to make money and if you didn't then somebody would not be making money and they would not be spending it and so on. He said the government had a big responsibility in this.

Worse was to come. The new government, as part of its austerity programme, decided to renege on their investment in the project. Everything came to a halt while the mess was sorted out. The Government wanted the landmark tower to proceed as there was private investment in that. They also wanted to pare back its design, They claimed the events centre, national gallery and the urban initiatives were local vanity projects and the economy would not support them. They also claimed a gross financial overrun.

With that the right wing media kicked in. With talk back hosts based in our rival city Auckland, hammering the whole project. Who should appear in all this but my old sparring partner, the twerp. He launched into me trying to make me the sacrificial lamb and he almost succeeded. He said the project was just a monument to the architect and I was not in it for the public good. He added the financial blowout was a result of the incompetent, impractical and absurd design. This was a period of huge stress to me, totally distracting me from any real thought about my relationship with Katelyn.

Fortunately there was a huge public backlash. At the outset of the waterfront project the response from the public had been mixed but as the project was now taking shape they were totally behind the project especially those parts the government wanted to slash. Architectural, civic and other community groups came out en masse and there were public demonstrations. After all, the reason for the project was part of the rehabilitation of the city after the devastating earthquake. The Government began looking for a way out without losing face. Brendon stepped in then stage offering to buy out the Government's share. The benefit to him would be total ownership of the landmark tower at the end of the project. It was sold to the government as a commercial proposition in line with their own policies and they subsequently bought into the idea.

The right wing press and my friend the twerp were not impressed and turned against the government but it was obvious the general public were behind the deal and the Twerps voice faded into the wilderness.

But they did not give up, it turned out there were American interests involved, financing so-called taxpayer and freedom groups to lobby the government and they continued to snipe, claiming the government had sold out to the Chinese.

So that was the background to what was happening to me as my relationship with Katelyn was going down the tubes. Unfortunately following her fateful trip to California things moved faster with Katelyn's dealings than anticipated by either Brendon or me and we got the visit I had been trying to avoid, from Starry Skies. It seemed with our other distractions we had taken our eye off the ball.

I only found out about the visit by Starry Skies by accident. I happened to be behind a glazed screen beside the reception on the top floor. The glazed screen had an etched pattern allowing me to get a glimpse of anyone in the reception area without me being recognised. A group of men emerged from the lift, went to reception and were ushered into the conference room. They were obviously Americans by their accents.

When they had gone in I moved around the screen and asked the receptionist who they were. She replied that they were a group from a firm named Starry Skies. "Shit!" I said loudly.

The receptionist was startled. "Whats wrong?"

"Who have they come to see?"

"Richard and Katelyn and, oh there is someone else with them, a Harry Mills."

"Holy fuck, Harry Mills, That is so wrong. Let me know when they leave."

The shaken receptionist said she would. She had never heard me speak like that.

Later she let me know, saying that Katelyn and Harry had gone with them but Richard went separately. I went back to my office. A thought came to me that I could track where they were going. Katelyn would probably be using her own company car. Because of my position with the design group I am one of the few that has access to the vehicle monitoring software for the company's fleet of cars. Several of them are assigned to the design group.

I logged in and sure enough her car had left the premises. I tracked her until she arrived at a hotel, I presume it was the one the group were staying in. Having parked, it was stationary on the screen, there was nothing I could do so I logged off at that point.

On that night Katelyn and I had planned a dinner. It was part of our intended reconnection process. We were booked into a quiet, reasonably expensive restaurant so when she did not turn up after work a tried to ring her and it went to voice mail. There were no messages so I expected the worst and had to cancel. I got charged for that so I was not happy.

I presumed she was still at the hotel and I thought I might go down there, to do what, I didn't know.

I Fired up my home computer and logged in remotely to our car tracking software. Her car was no longer at the hotel. That briefly brought me some relief, which crashed when I realised where she was. She was at Harry Mill's address.

Now Harry Mills was a local property developer of a highly dubious reputation. He was from a very wealthy family with a background in property. They were known to be hard nosed and not well liked. Harry had been very successful in his own right until his father died then he seemed to go off the rails. It was rumoured he was into all sorts of things, Gang associations, money laundering and drugs supplementing his property and investment activity. He seemed to have a charmed life and the police and the Serious Fraud Office had never brought charges about anything. As a result he had the moniker of 'Teflon Harry.'

I had a very bad feeling knowing that Katelyn was there. He was known to have some very raunchy parties. I felt I had to do something but I had no idea about what I was walking into.

I thought I would at least investigate and call for some help if I needed it.

What I walked into was the most traumatic event of my life and was to define the end of my marriage and my life to that point.

******

My next act was on impulse, I jumped into my own private car, an innocuous black Kia SUV and headed for Harry Mills home. I had no plan, I would just play it as it came. I drove off the expressway and eventually came on to the country road where his house was situated. My mind was in turmoil, I was switching between anger and sorrow as I drove.

I had assumed that Richard was the predator and had seduced her but it dawned on me as I drove that the opposite may be the case. Was he controlling her or was she controlling him? After all it was her that stalked and snared me in the first place. As a project manager she was assertive, no I have to say aggressive. I knew men feared her. With her blond hair and blue eyes she could come on coy and sweet but woe betide any man who mistook that look and underestimated her. That was one of her attributes that made her such a good project manager, she could catch guys with their guard down. However she was young and perhaps over confident, she may be over her head. I was about to find out.

I arrived outside Harry Mills' property. I had never been here before although I had driven past it. It had a large macracarpa hedge along the front and in the centre was an ornate automatic gate. I parked the car inconspicuously up beside the end of a dense macracarpa hedge. I could hear the traffic noise from the expressway and glimpse the flash of headlights. There was no moon so that was all the light I had as I cautiously strolled down to the gate. It was closed but there was no security apart from a keypunch opening mechanism on the brick gate supports. I could just make out the lights of the porch on what seemed to be a large rambling house up the drive. There was the thudding sound of loud dance music in the air. I thought that the lack of neighbors was just as well.

Further down the winding road from where I had come there appeared the lights of an approaching car. I skipped into the hedge beside my parked car.

The approaching car turned and stopped in front of the gate. It paused for a while then the driver got out and punched the pad and the gate slowly swung open. Whoever it was jumped back in the car and drove through.

They wouldn't have seen my car or me where I was parked so it was easy to run down and enter the slowly closing gate without being discovered. I then walked cautiously up the drive then off the side through a grove of trees. There were no dogs or any roving security.

I remember thinking how fearless I was. It would only have been the anger driving my adrenalin. The risk did not even come to mind.

The car that had come before me had parked on a paddock on one side among some others. The driver got out, walked across the lawn and up onto the verandah. A pair of glazed french doors was open. I was able to see from behind some undergrowth that there was a party going on. People were milling about under a low light. So I walked out from the bush and did what the guy before me had done. For all they knew I was with him so I strode on through the doors as though I was a regular there. In fact nobody even looked at me. Everybody seemed to be strung out in their own little world. A couple were engaged in some public sex and others were in various stages of making out. There was a group gathered around a drinks table engaged in conversation and another group doing the same to one side. There were some couples dancing slowly and shambling in a clinch. A couple of women necked as they danced. They were the first to notice me. I thought I would just ask."I am after Katelyn, have you seen her?"

One of the women snorted while the other one just smirked. The snorting one, replied "You mean the blonde bimbo, she's having some fun up the stairs. Have you come to catch the train?" With that the other burst out laughing.

Without losing my cool I just said, "OK, all cool, I'll get aboard."

Noticing my haste, they replied, "You better hurry, you might miss it," which was accompanied by further cackles of laughter.

I found the stairs in a large hallway. By this stage the comments by the women had made my heart sink. Still nobody seemed to care about me wandering about as I walked up the stairs. I was keeping up a confident pretence but my heart was pounding. I dreaded what I would find up there.

At the top was a long dark corridor with the light shining from an open door about three doors down. I walked quietly trying to listen for any sound above the noisy house music from down stairs.

As I approached the door I could distinguish some grunts and sighs, I peered around the jamb and what I saw made me recoil in shock. I stepped back and had to breathe deeply to settle myself.

What I had seen was a totally naked Katelyn lying on the edge of a huge bed. Some guy, I later recognised as Harry Mills, was straddled over her head as she was sucking on his balls. Her legs were spread wide

Another guy was snorting a line of coke off her hairless pussy. There were several guys in various states of undress hanging around and another woman who appeared comatose on a chaise longue. Yet another woman was in a corner looking more animated, standing sandwiched between two guys as they were slowly pumping her from both sides.

The scene was a horrific snapshot in my mind. Call me sheltered but it was a scene of debauchery like I had never seen before, even with my mates in Hong Kong.

I was paralysed wondering what to do next when I heard someone coming up the stairs. So I slipped into the room. The guy came in on a gust of glee. "Oh wow guys, you fuckers have started without me. Make way dudes here I come." He was the guy I saw enter the house before me.

Everyone turned around and looked at him and of course me by default. Because nobody reacted to my presence, I guess they assumed once again I was with him.

I looked around the room. I recognised Harry Mills, and the three American guys who had been at the office. As to the rest there was no one I knew, no celebrities, judges, politicians, sports stars, nobody controversial. Just a bunch of middling middle age men with average cocks getting their rocks off. I figured I did not look too out of place. I was younger but dressed in jeans and a sweater much like them. I noticed Richard was not there. 'Where was he?' I thought, 'and what was his role in this?'

The only one who I thought could recognise me was Harry Mills. I had never had anything to do with him but the New Zealand Property and construction scene is not huge and he must have seen the publicity from the project competition. However I had recently shaved off a beard so maybe he wouldn't recognise me.

I discovered the whole damn lot were so totally damned wasted, I doubt they were in any condition to care.

Meanwhile the guy who had been snorting a line was finishing up by licking the residue off. Katelyn was still savouring Mills' balls. For some reason that detail irked me. It was like ball savouring was our personal thing.

Abruptly Mills pushed her head back and pulled her up to the side of the bed. He shoved his little stiff dick down her throat and began deep throating her. I had this absurd thought of thanking goodness I taught her that or he would've done her damage.

She was taking it like a pro as he banged her head into his groin until one of the American guys grabbed him by the shoulder. He was obviously feeling left out. This guy got Katelyn to snort a line off his cock then shoved it down her throat. There was a repeat of the forced deep throating, which caused me to worry about Katelyn. But he finished and pushed her face down on the bed, leaving her gorgeous twin muscular globes in the air and so tempting for all. The guy who had come in with me, now trouserless, dived onto her back and started pounding her arse. That should have hurt but Katelyn seemed oblivious, just panting and grunting.

Two guys turned them both over and he continued to try and piston her from underneath while some guy took her missionary. Meanwhile Mills had is cock back in her mouth. Eventually they tired and pulled out to let others have her on their own. She was laying there spread and leaking cum three ways. I don't know how long this had been going before I arrived but as she lay there exposed I noticed all sorts of bruising and love bites.

At this point there was a kind of line up with guys going at her missionary style, one after another. Katelyn seemed to be tiring; she was not looking good.

I could not help thinking of this woman who I had mad sex with so many times. Her legs pinned back by her elbows, giving me full access to her body. Her eyes, wild as she spat those kegel balls out of her snatch. As I entered her she could still manipulate my hard with those trained muscles of hers. Now she was limp her eyes rolling back, these guys might as well be fucking a sex doll. With my thoughts locked in our past my dick began to harden with erotic anger.

At that point, I discovered I was the last guy standing. The others were looking at me. Somebody muttered "well are you going to fuck her or just gawk at her. She has plenty of fucking lube." He guffawed and they all laughed at that. Nobody had been cleaning her up. I was caught. I had no choice but to do the deed. The whole time I had been paralysed with indecision, and that weird anger was beginning to boil in me. I imagined that this was what her life was like in the Californian fast lane..

I never thought that the anger I felt would make my cock stand the way it was. The urge was strong to take the rigid monster and punish her with it. I undid my fly and it sprang out like a flick knife. Staring at her vulva oozing and covered in cream, I gritted my teeth and guided my cock towards her spread legs and into the ooze. I should have been repulsed but I felt no disgust, only anger and lust. She was so out of it she did not recognize me as I plunged into that wet morasse. I was so turned on as my cock sank into what felt like warm pudding that I came almost immediately, my cum just blending with the mass oozing from her holes..

The whole time I never thought what disease I could get, let alone thinking about Katelyn, until I was finally pumped all out and I collapsed onto her. My face was a matter of centimetres from hers but she could not comprehend me. Her eyes were rolling back into her head and at the end of her mouth there was some white foam. With that I panicked. As I pulled out a few guys were clapping, I didn't know why. I wanted to get out of there. I stood up trying to do up my fly, realising the front of my trousers was stained with cum. As I backed toward the door, somebody was beginning to kneel to have another go.

I bretreated toward the door. 'Didn't these arseholes realise Katelyn was in trouble,' I was thinking.

I managed to slip out the door and a wave of revulsion hit me. I felt nauseous but I had to hold it in. I had to get Katelyn help.

I walked swiftly to the stairs. The house music was still blaring and pounding away as I descended. The scene in the living room was exactly the same as before, like some surrealistic painting.

At the door to the living room I froze. There was someone there I thought I knew. I looked again at the short stocky figure and realised it was the twerp. That was totally unexpected. What would he be doing here? I wondered what possible connection he could have with this crowd. I was silently panicking. I must have walked right by him when I came in. At that moment he did not seem to see me.

I sidled through the haze of e-cigarette smoke and I approached the same two women I had spoken to before now embracing and clutching each other as though their lives depended on it. Using them to shield me from the twerp I touched one's shoulder and she slurred, "Whaddya want."

An idea had come to me. If I used my phone my position here could later be confirmed. That might be a bad idea, better to use someone else's phone. "Can I use your phone?"

"Why?" she slurred.

"My phone is dead, I need to call a ride."

To my surprise she just gave it to me. She flipped her phone, punched in the code and handed it to me.

The noise from the music was intense so I gestured to the door and she shrugged. Just outside I range emergency services."I want to report a gang rape at a drug party." I gave the address. I stressed to them that it was an emergency and a girl may die from an overdose. They wanted my name and for me to stay on line but they got neither. I went back inside trying to make out where the twerp was. I spied him going up the stairs. I felt a rage building inside me that he was going to add to Katelyn's misery. Realising there was nothing I could do without exposing myself, I handed the woman her phone saying thanks and left.

I hurried down the drive. I punched the release on the gate and it opened. I pulled a rock out of the verge to chock the gate open then ran to the car. Sweating and out of breath I took a few moments, before backing out and leaving. By time I was back on the expressway two cop cars and an ambulance passed me, blinding blue lights flashing and sirens wailing. Further on I passed two more, then another.

I continued, my mind blank. I got back to the apartment and parked in the basement. I threw my clothes into the washing basket and collapsed into my bed wearing just my boxer shorts. I was not going to get any sleep. My mind was racing. I was shaking.

It was incredulous that I did what I did without getting caught. It was only then that I thought of the risks I had taken. The thought that Katelyn was dying of an overdose nagged at me. The fact that I had actually fucked her myself made me complicit. I thought I would be arrested along with the rest. I lay there stiff in a mental panic. At one stage the nausea welled up and I rushed into the ensuite to retch painfully, the legacy of not having dinner.

It must have been approaching dawn when there was a heavy knock on the door. I got out of bed and grabbed my dressing gown to answer it. I thought this is it, they are going to arrest me.

Sure enough there were two cops at the door, a man and a woman. The woman asked, "Are you Christopher Shand? "

"Yes."

"Are you married to Katelyn Tuck"

"Yes," I was looking at them wide eyed at this point. "What has happened?" I was thinking she had died.

"She is in intensive care at the hospital with a suspected drug overdose." They didn't mention the rape and I thought their next act would be to arrest me and I began shaking.

"Oh my god, my god," was all I could say.

"Are you alright?"

"Er no."

"Is there someone we can call to help?"

"Er... no, the person is apparently in hospital herself. Look.. just let me settle down. I need to get to the hospital."

They took me inside and helped get a glass of water. Finally saying, "We don't think you should drive, can we give you a ride?"

I accepted and they delivered me to the hospital. Katelyn was still in intensive care. I couldn't see her but I couldn't stay home so I sat in a waiting area until the hospital café opened and got myself some breakfast. It was a Saturday morning so there was no need to call in work. I couldn't ring Brendon yet so I went for a walk. At about eleven I rang Brendon, and told him that Katelyn was in intensive care.

I did not tell him I visited the Harry Mills party. As nobody apparently knew, there was no need to complicate it if I could get away with it.

I told him about the Americans and how Richard was somehow involved and they had all met in the afternoon with the dodgy developer Harry Mills in the office. I told him the police were now involved. I couldn't tell him much more without showing my hand.

Brendon said he would get in touch with the lawyers immediately and to get someone up to see me at the hospital and hopefully talk to Katelyn. He told me not to talk to the police without a lawyer present. He said the best outcome would be if Katelyn stayed the victim in all this and we should separate the firm from these guys.

He asked me where I thought Richard was. I didn't know. I didn't know who would have been arrested. All I knew was that Katelyn was in hospital as far as Brendon was concerned.

I was now allowed to sit beside Katelyn in bed. She was still heavily sedated and she just lay there sleeping. I sat there pondering our future. We couldn't get past this. Katelyn was going to need someone and it couldn't be me. I thought of Lauren as she would be the only one. I took out my phone and rang her.

********

Brendon was as good as his word. By the time the police turned up to interview Katelyn there was already a lawyer waiting. She was now out of the heavy sedation and could speak coherently. The police main focus, as relayed to me, was on nailing Harry Mills. 'Teflon' Mills had lived a charmed life with the police for some time and now they had the opportunity to hit him and his associates hard.

Katelyn and another woman in the room were taken to hospital and both tested positive to rohypnol, MDMA and cocaine but both were treated as victims and were subjected to strict non disclosure of their names in public. Of course there would be rumours to who the women were but Brandon's people moved to create misinformation about that on social media creating rumours of their own. Katelyn said she could not remember much of the night past being in the hotel. She assumed the other woman was a pick up. That other woman turned out to be underage. She was admitted to hospital for observation but did not require intensive care.

Brandon's people looked for Richard over the weekend and he could not be found. It was assumed he had gone to ground and certainly did not turn up for work on Monday. It was only later in the week that it was discovered he had flown out to the US on the Saturday. Somehow he must have known what happened at Harry Mills house on Friday and had somehow managed air tickets at short notice.

The police theory, which was encouraged by Brandon's lawyers, was that Richard had set up what was to be a cocaine importing ring using property as a cover. The police actually raided Richard's apartment; their drug dog found traces but no actual drugs. In the end no actual extradition was pursued for Richard. Brandon's people determined that the associates of the Starry Skies crew would eventually deal with him.

The scandal blew up catching a lot of associates in the collateral damage. Harry Mills had been protected to some degree by a cell of corruption. It turned out the twerp was a close associate of his and as he was at the party, I realised how easily he could have blown my plans apart if he had recognised me.

The twerps political career ended with the scandal and an associated jail term. His name was actually Lester Barrowman and he had once been a radio and TV personality but became increasingly fringe because of his forthright views. He was known as an unguided missile but just the same was picked up by an up and coming right wing party with dubious links of their own.

His secret life was certainly not widely known and he shared it with his wife who was probably at the party herself

I had worried for a time that he or his wife had somehow recognised me but nothing came of it. I also wondered whether there was some kind of conspiracy behind it. Had he something to do with targeting Katelyn but in the end I had to accept his involvement was pure coincidence, not unusual in our small country.

As so often happens to the self entitled, who feel nobody can touch them, he, like they, eventually are caught.

Other American sourced political intervention in New Zealand affairs was exposed on the fringes of the controversy with shadowy agencies pulling back and covering their tracks. It was Harry Mills who bore the brunt and any further collusion was denied. There was of course Richard whose absence was a lightning rod of conspiracy opinion. His disappearance became convenient for a number of people.

Brandon benefitted from the media speculation swirling around the waterfront project but not in any way negatively. The media speculated that Starry Skies were somehow trying to muscle in on the project but as far as I was aware this was never their intention. Katelyn was never named by the media but was presented as a coerced unwitting victim who happened to be connected to the waterfront project and somehow the property side of her employment was not featured. I suppose the waterfront project was very visible and easy for the public to relate to.

Brandon's key concern was to protect his business. New Zealand was not the problem but the US was. He withdrew current US operations to regroup and eventually returned to the US market under a different company.

The other outcome was that the Twerps' ongoing obsession with the project was central to the political attacks on the project and this was supported by private commercial organisations trying to get some leverage for their own self interest. All this was swept aside by the scandal. The twerps party plummeted in the polls and their benefactors backed off. Other politicians looked for other easier issues. The taint of some kind of connection to a criminal organisation like Starry Skies was a level of corruption that nobody wanted to be tarred with.

*****

In the meantime I suffered an enormous amount of guilt over Katelyn. Not only what I did that night to her but the relationship from the start. I did not think that I was ever good for her.

The mystery person that was me at the party must have puzzled the police, especially in trying to determine who actually called emergency services. It was actually printed in the press at one stage that one of the women's lives was saved through the mystery call but I was never questioned over any more detail than Katelyn's and my relationship. Neither was our apartment raided despite her being associated with drug use. The focus had been on Richard. Brandon was keen to keep a lid on anything to do with Katelyn and his company. He actually supported her going to rehab and setting up an employment opportunity once she was deemed well enough.

Me, well I was still working on our major projects, the tower was well under construction and the events centre planning advanced although the gallery still remained stalled

Katelyn and I, well, that was another story. While still in hospital and nearing her discharge. I had a long discussion with her about our relationship.

One of her first comments to me as I held her hand was, "We're finished now aren't we?"

I replied "I cannot see any way of getting through this, but I feel some responsibility so we need to let each other down gently. We need to be truthful with one another. I think we may have loved one another in our own way but I don't think either of us fully trusted each other."

And that formed the beginning of our discussion. She was still on some light sedation and slightly drowsy, slurring a little when she spoke but otherwise seemingly glad to be alive.

I asked her what her relationship with Richard was about

"We started as work colleagues but it turned into a casual sexual relationship."

I had to take a breath with that statement. It was clear that the truth was going to be revealed. Katelyn looked at me with concern while I took some deep breaths. Then I continued.

"Was that before you went to the states?"

"Yeah."

"I think I suspected you were up to something but I didn't want to know."

"I felt you and I were drifting apart. Apart from running together we did not do a lot did we."

"There was always our work, I suppose."

"That's what made having an affair with Richard so easy. Sex with you was becoming repetitive and humdrum. Racing around having sex with Richard got the adrenalin going."

"I know how you felt, I was feeling the same about our sex. When I had something to teach you, you couldn't have enough. The thing is there was no romance. There seemed to be nothing else in our relationship. I think our values were different. I mean we didn't even use terms of endearment with each other. What did you say, "eeww," one time when I called you honey."

"I know, I was never into that. I was a tomboy when I was young. I enjoyed playing with the boys, I was never into girly stuff. That's why I think I took to construction and property. I liked bossing the rough boys around."

"So were you bossing Richard around or was he bossing you."

"Definitley me bossing him."

"So he wasn't the evil predator then."

"He thought he was but he was easy to read, besides I introduced him to sex with the kegel balls. He said he had never had sex with someone as skilled as me. That's how I could control him."

"So what happened in the States,"

"Yeah that was fun. He had a lot of fun friends. But I admit it got pretty debauched at times."

"Really? How debauched."

"One time I was out of it and had sex on a billiard table with some guys. I used billiard balls like kegels. My party trick was loading up and popping a ball instead of using a cue."

"Yeah, I get it, I don't need any more information. I now regret ever bringing kegel balls into our sex life."

Changing the subject I asked about Starry Skies. "Starry Skies weren't fun though were they?"

"Katelyn looked down and was thoughtfully silent."

"Richard found them. I realise now there was a drug thing happening. I didn't know then. Richard sold them as being a very lucrative source for property investment. I don't know how it was supposed to work. The trouble is I was a newby. I did not read them and I didn't read the room."

"Who got Harry Mills involved? You must have known Harry was bad news."

"Starry Skies wanted him involved. They knew him from somewhere. Richard hadn't a clue. I knew who Harry was and to tell the truth I was shitting my pants when they brought him in. I realised then things were going in a direction I had not anticipated. For the first time I could see I was out of my depth."

"I think if you were talking to me I could have helped but I guess it was too late, Richard had already supplanted me."

"I thought I could control him. I either couldn't or wouldn't attempt to control you. I thought I was better."

"Was Richard with you at the party?"

"He was supposed to be, I don't know where he went. He left after the meeting. I thought he would catch up with us later.

"He hasn't been in to see you has he? Nobody seems to know where he is."

"That figures."

"What about Brendon? You two have been in touch, haven't you."

"Yeah he's great. He's taking care of everything. There has been no recriminations. I realise I probably will not get my job back but he will help. He is the one that is getting me into rehab."

"I like Brendon. You are lucky you are not working for a big corporation. They would have just spat you out. Brendon takes a paternal interest in his key employees. He plays the father figure. I know he likes you very much. I wondered whether you might have fucked him."

"Oh dear god no. He would not do that. He actually warned me that fucking my way to the top will create more problems than is worth it."

"You didn't take his advice then."

"No, sadly not, I regret that now."

"What did he say about what you have done with Richard?"

"I never told him but I think he knew. I kind of felt like a teenager who had pranged her daddy's car when I talked to him."

"But he didn't give you a good whipping."

"No, I am not allowed out. I have been grounded."

Katelyn laughed at that. "He is more astute than he lets on, you know. He read me, that's for sure."

"What do you mean. He certainly didn't stop you doing drugs and fucking Richard."

"No, No, No. It was when I went to Hong Kong and worked with him. I thought then he could become another you for me."

"What the fuck do you mean by that? Did you think you'd get him into bed?"

Katelyn became embarrassed, reddened and stuttered slightly before continuing.

"I.. I know it was stupid. I tried, He told me he was married, That's when he gave me the lecture of fucking to the top. He said he would never cheat on his wife. He told me that I should not cheat on you and I should reconsider our relationship because he did not think I knew myself."

"I told him about Lauren and how she wanted me but I am not like that. I did not want any complications in my private life. I thought that it would undermine my career aspirations."

"What did he say to that?"

"He said he thought that my thoughts about her were coming between you and me. He suggested that I go with some local girls. He said if I found my true self I should go back to New Zealand and discuss with you what I wanted in our future. He gave me the name of a club in Chatham Road where I could meet some girls."

"Did you go?"

"Yes, I actually fucked a couple. One I was with for about three weeks."

I had to stop there and take a breath. I had not seen that coming.

I finally collected my thoughts. "But when you came back there was no discussion."

"I felt incredibly guilty. I decided I must love you but I did not know what to do about Lauren and my feelings toward women."

"How did that square with Richard?"

"Richard was about my work aspirations. Nothing to do with love."

Now that really threw me. I shook my head. I felt anger arising from the indifference.

"That's total bullshit."

"I'm sorry, I don't expect you to understand."

I held my head in my hands. Thinking. The horrible thought came to mind that I had made her into some kind of whore. I was no better than a pimp. Finally I confessed my remorse.

"You know, I blame myself for what happened. I groomed you into this..."

She cut me off. "No you didn't. If anybody groomed anyone it was me grooming you. I went after you, you should know. You are like my Dad, successful and could help me get places.

I was devastated when my Dad left and I would do anything to please him. Here's something I have never told anybody. Just after Dad left, my mum came into my bedroom and molested me. I think she was trying to comfort me and got carried away."

"That got my attention."Shit, how long did that go on?"

"Just the once. We never talked about it. But the thing is, I had no idea what was going on and why she was doing it. The thing that confused me most was the feelings I had. I could not understand the way I felt because it did not upset me. Later, I thought my Mum was just like that and it was that which drove my dad away. But she once told me later it was Dads infidelity that caused the split. She said she was never enough for dad. I thought that was ironic because she never mentioned her own infidelity. To me, she lied and I have never trusted her since."

When I heard that, her behaviour seemed to make sense. I asked her, "Do you think you were trying to avoid your mum's mistake by trying to please men the way you think your Dad might have been pleased?"

She thought about that. "Maybe. But when Lauren came on to me, I thought about my mum. I didn't want to be like her. But now I realise what I am, I suppose. Lauren has brought me around."

The atmosphere was now much more relaxed and she began to reminisce. Giggling, she brought up our night in the motel at Invercargill. "Do you remember that night with the bottle?"

"How could I forget?"

"I introduced Lauren to that. I spread my legs, put it in and showed her how I could move it backwards and forwards. She got all horny and we did a team on it when we tribbed."

I almost choked on that confession. "Thats probably a little too much information, Katelyn, but we did have some good times, of our own."

"We had the best. I guess this is the end for us but I will never regret the times we had."

"Well now you have Lauren. I can be comfortable with that. I suspected there might have been more to your relationship with her. I can't say I was happy with the possibility but it did enable me to resign myself to the fact we would not last. It was Richard that pissed me completely off. I never wanted to see you harmed and he was bad news. "

Lauren was listening to my last words intently, her brows knitted, displaying her emotion. Do you think you will ever forgive me?"

"I already have. Like I said I already decided I bear some responsibility. Perhaps my love for you was paternal more than romantic and the sex unfortunately obscured it. Seeing you like this has revived it, I think, I think I will always feel that despite everything that has happened, the betrayal and alI, I truly wish you well. I think you now have the ability and learned wisdom to find your own path. So it is probably time for me to depart." Katelyn's head was bowed and she was silent.

I knew Lauren was in the waiting area. I got up abruptly without speaking and went and called Lauren. Once we were both back in the room Lauren leaned down and kissed Katelyn, a compassionate kiss.

It was weird, I unexpectedly felt triumphant, I don't completely know why. But I knew what I had to do.

"Katelyn I think Lauren is the only one that can help you now. She can give you the love and care that I cannot. Lauren can keep you on the level. I don't mean it in an unkind way but you are very needy, I am sure Lauren can give you that. If I stay I will only get in the way and complicate matters. We need a clean break so that you can build your future."

Lauren was sitting on Katelyn's bed holding both her hands. Both were trapped in each other's eyes, ignoring me, I reached around Lauren and kissed Katelyn's forehead.

"I wish you all the love in the world Katelyn but not from me. Lauren, you look after her." I turned and swiftly exited the room.

I paused at the door when I heard Katelyn, "It was you wasn't it. You were the drake, the alpha drake, remember what you told me at that pond when we had first met. You used your head and called in the Police at that party. It was you."

I didn't answer and glanced at Lauren who was looking at me expectantly. I was wondering if I should answer. Finally Katelyn broke the silence. "But in the end we got the twerp didn't we?"

Thankful for the distraction, I quipped, "We sure did." I smiled, the first genuine smile for some time, then turned and left

I thought I heard a sob as I carried down the corridor but that is the last I would see or hear of Katelyn as my wife.

From then the divorce process was long but went smoothly and fairly, negotiated by our lawyers. We had no wish to exact any kind of revenge from one another. Then once again I entered a single life and buried myself into my work with no distractions.

*******

That conversation, the final breakup belies the emotion that underlay our withering relationship. We should never have married; I knew that and so did she finally. She came on to me and I was vulnerable. When I discovered that Justine had married, yes, I married in a classic rebound. It was almost a case of perverse spite just to marry someone. On Katelyn's side she was marrying for her career, to do the right thing by her parents and I would guess to prove to herself she was really sexually straight. She was never phased about our age difference and although it sounds like a cliche I truly believe I was replacing her father amongst everything else.

The events of that horrific night, when it became blindingly obvious what our relationship had sunk to, would live with me for the rest of my life. I was not the type to seek counselling or psychiatric help. I would just box it up, encapsulate it. Nobody would ever know the real story. I don't believe in PTSD, I will suck it up, be stoic, I have my work that I can absorb myself in. I have my close friends Nick, Suki, Gaspard, Consuela and Markel who have seen me through my life since Justine and I broke up.

I don't think that they ever approved of Katelyn. She just seemed to come and go in their lives. They seemed to always refer to me rather than Katelyn and I as a couple, That should tell you something. But she was much younger, another generation.

Yes, I was foolish for marrying her, she was someone to feed my ego, I could be her teacher, her svengali, She was my tabula rasa, someone who I could form into the image of a perfect wife. But I was wrong. She was her own woman in so many ways I never understood. My inflated ego was dismantled piece by piece until I was left with me, the pathetic man I really am; left to prove myself in the only way I can, being the Architect of something grand.

Others saw me as the wronged partner and I was given all the sympathy. Katelyn would be hated by some; others would show some compassion seeing her condition like it was alcoholism or a gambling addiction. A sickness so debilitating but so difficult with those close to her to endure.

The seeds of her descent lay long before I met her. Her now obvious struggle with her sexuality while trying to conform to the mores of her parents and community, then there was her professed abuse by her mother, albeit brief. Her struggle with her sexuality put it in direct conflict with her career. Her resolve, her determination to succeed, to show she was better than those around her, male and female, eclipsing her inner self.

I was the unwitting dupe when we came together. We never took the time to understand one another. If we had, we probably would not have married but my advancing age, the loss of the love of my life set me up for desperation. Yes, it was a partnership based on sex but I did have deep feelings for her. Not the romantic love I had for Justine, but I cared for her and I despaired that I could not help the person I cared for. Not only that but I actively aggravated her condition. Faced with that horrific night, my inability was obvious, my ego drove me to hatred, and faced with the violence being brought on her, my impotence drove me to join them.

Briefly I had been no better than those scumbags who were doing that to her. Oh I left and I took action to help her, actually save her, but it was an act that I was doomed to keep secret and it would always haunt me. The one thing that saved me was that I was able to hand my care over to Lauren. I suppose that expiated my guilt to some degree knowing that she had someone, innocent, that really cared for her and could look after her in my absence.

I held myself together until I got back from the hospital and entering the dark empty apartment I collapsed into the sofa. I looked around at all the things that would need to be sorted out. I thought I would leave the apartment and find a new place, a new beginning. I thought of the property I had bought and my intended house design., I had not made any progress with that, it remained a stunted reflection of the marriage, I guess. Then I looked at the ring on my finger, took it off and flung it across the room. Another failure. I finally broke down. It took me a while to pull myself together. I rang Nick, he rounded up the others and within an hour we had a party. We talked about the future, buildings to come, and I never looked back.

******