Love and Hate in a Brother's World

Adult fiction. All participants are over 18 before any sexual activity takes place. Any resemblance of the characters to any person, living or dead, is purely accidental. I'm pretty sure the FBI would take a dim view of some of the activities presented here. It's fiction. Apologize for the dense back story.

I love my sister. I hate my sister. Don't know how but both statements are equally true. Maybe an adult version of pulling petals from a flower: She loves me. She hates me. Alas, that only describes my feelings. Hers are a consistent 'I hate you.'

My sister, Crystal, is three years older than I (Perry) am. Starting conditions are she's 27 and a special agent in the FBI. I'm presently two years into a PhD program in biochemistry at a major university.

Some back story.

We grew up the son and daughter of Phillip and Anne Carson in a small town in Georgia. At least initially, before moving to a small town in the mid-west. She was in third grade, and I was in kindergarten when we got uprooted. Guess that was the start. The school we had been in was terrible. She had learned nothing, so was put back into second grade after we moved.

I was too young to have made friends nor attempted to learn anything, while Crystal had several good friends. She was outgoing and quick to make friends. Perhaps, too quick. As she grew up, she made almost instant friendship judgements, and nothing deterred her decisions, regardless of the depth of those friendships.

For whatever reason, she blamed me for the relocation and the grade reduction. I didn't, and to this day, understand why she thought that. But, like a bulldog, once the idea entered her head, it was fixed for all time. She never forgot nor forgave. If you did her wrong, you were on her shit list forever. You never got a second chance.

That was the trigger for her hatred? I was only five, for Christ's sake! I didn't understand it. Why did she suddenly push me away? Both physically and emotionally. She was bigger and would regularly push, slug and beat me. What did I do to her? She was my adored sister and friend. I was devastated.

From then on, it looked like her sole purpose in life was to make my life as miserable as possible. She looked so angelic. Blonde hair so light it seemed to float over her head like a nimbus. Light-blue eyes, like mine. She never suffered the agony of pimples on her pretty face. My hair was also blonde when I was young but darkened when I went through puberty.

She was tall for a girl. Easily the tallest in grade school, quickly reaching 5'6", but it stopped there when she went through puberty.

Blonde, adorable, sweet were adjectives normally applied to her by our parents. Any arguments we had of the she-said, he-said were inevitably resolved in her favor. Well, maybe not all the time, only 80%. What saved me, somewhat, was our parents' directive that she, as older, was responsible for my wellbeing. If our argument was understood as a failure to uphold that directive, she lost.

I won't recount the misery I endured till she left for college. The physical abuse stopped when I got large enough to fight back. The emotional abuse never ended and only accelerated when she could no longer safely hit me.

I'm sure the only smile I ever got was when she did something to degrade me in our parents' eyes. I loved that smile so much, it almost made me a masochist. So, yes, I would do many things I shouldn't just to see her smile.

From middle school on, it was apparent my puppy love focused only on her. I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers through her hair, to touch her cheeks. Kissing her was so far beyond my dreams that I never seriously contemplated it. The best I ever achieved was in junior high when she had the flu. She was almost unconscious, lying on the sofa, when I came home from school. I stood next to her - she appeared not to notice - and gently touched her hair. I opened my fingers and ran my hand through her hair, once. I touched her warm cheek with the back of my hand before she stirred and I scurried away. I clutched the memory to my heart, much like a drowning man would treat a life ring. It would last until the end of time.

My greatest fear was that she'd catch me jacking off. She would ruin me with the family and spread the information far and wide. As you could imagine, I had to be very careful if I even got hard.

She gave me plenty of reason to hate her. Over and over. But as much as I hated her at any moment, I could never rat her out. In high school, I caught her several times sneaking in after curfew. I never once turned her in. Did 'not saying anything' get me any gratitude? No, of course not. She just took it as a sign that I was afraid of her.

Of course, when I was 10 minutes late one night, she happily told Mom and Dad. Earned me a grounding for two weeks.

After she finished high school, she spent the next two years at the local junior college, majoring in criminal justice. Apropos. She wasn't a very gifted student, so local college and state university were her only options.

Alas, that added two more years of misery to my life. I hoped she would mellow out in college. No luck. She would spread rumors in my high school about me, so my social life was very unsocial. I confess, though, that I was still in love with her, so I really didn't want to date anyone else.

I graduated high school as valedictorian. Not because anybody liked or admired me, but because I had never earned less than an A in every class. Plus, I had perfect 800s in both parts of the SAT. And a full scholarship to Harvard. And the undying hatred from Crystal.

Mom and Dad required her to attend my graduation ceremonies and my speech. As I was finishing dressing in my room, Crystal burst in. "Ready to go asshole? I hope your speech is long so I can get plenty of sleep. Fuck! I could be out doing something useful instead of watching your sorry ass graduate."

"Sorry, it'll be short. I need you to pay attention, anyway."

She grimaced. "Why?"

"You'll see."

I could see she was both annoyed and apprehensive. Maybe she figured that I'd retaliate for her treatment of me. Never.

I was nervous when I approached the podium to give my talk. I started out with the usual platitudes like going out into the world, new things, thanks to teachers, etc. At the end, I said, "I would like to give thanks to my parents for their patience for these twelve years. I would like to give special thanks to my beautiful sister, Crystal, who provided inspiration and dreams for as long as I can remember. Thank you, sis. Thank you, all."

The applause was as polite as one would expect and somewhat appreciative of it being short. I looked down at my family seated in the front row. My parents were smiling. Crystal was red and clearly not amused. She had a slightly quizzical look, not really understanding what I meant.

She said nothing, merely sitting as far from me as she could in the back seat of our parents' car on the way home. Nothing unusual.

When we got home, it was only to drop off cap and gown, hit the john, as we were going out to dinner. Crystal said, "Can I skip out? I'm supposed to meet friends at the mall."

Mom was firm. "No, you may not. It's your brother's celebration and you'll go. You can meet your friends another night."

I knew I'd catch hell later, but I really didn't give a shit. She was going to have to pretend she was having a good time. She knew just how far she could push our parents. Sulking would not be allowed, and, since she depended on them for her education, she couldn't wiggle out of it. I would have an evening with my beautiful sister.

You don't understand how rare this was. When we dined out, it was usually at a pizza place or some place when we were traveling. Tonight, Dad and I wore coats and ties. Mom and Crystal, good dresses. It was as close to formal as possible. Crystal and I were expected to show we were enjoying the dinner. Too bad it didn't include dancing...

One reason Dad picked this place was its retro style. They even had a photographer walking around taking pictures. Since there were several other graduates, he was busy. Mom talked to him to get him to take pictures of the family. They were the usual ones of all the family pressed together and smiling. Dad wanted one of Crystal and me. My arm around her shoulder, heads close, smiling. It almost killed her.

He had us turn slightly so she was inside my shoulder, her beautiful B-cup breast pressed into me. I almost filled my shorts. He fussed around till he had one of Crystal and I with happy faces. I have multiple copies as I wear them out holding them. I realized Crystal's smile was simply a vernier, but I didn't care.

Our parents got up to talk with a couple they knew. Crystal took that opportunity to unload on me. "You fucking asshole! How did you talk Mom and Dad into this abomination? Sitting at dinner with you? This is so fucked. Hope this is the last time I have to talk with you. Scum sucker!"

"This wasn't my idea, but I'm quite happy to be here with you. If it had been my idea, we'd have gone dancing so you could shit your pants having to dance with me. But, please, just this one night, don't be an asshole with me. Please."

She scowled at me but didn't say anymore. Nor for the rest of the night. Guess silence is better than being sworn at.

We had little time left together. I left at the end of the week for a Research Experience for Undergraduates (REU) opportunity. Normally, the REU program is open to undergrads after they have had some college courses, but I used my credential to wrangle one in Boston. I had several college credits already.

Crystal stayed home to work before moving to the state university for the fall semester. She decided early on that she wanted to be in the FBI. To that end, she continued her major in criminal justice and became a reserve deputy in the local police force. Upon graduation, she went full-time into the police department so that when she turned 24, she was qualified to apply for the FBI.

I returned home for Christmas the first year. That was it. I wanted to go to Crystal's graduation, but she decided to skip it.

In the summer prior to the start of my senior year, Dad suffered a massive stroke. He was dead before he hit the floor. I returned for the funeral. Crystal was already in the FBI stationed at an embassy in the middle east. She was on a very sensitive assignment and couldn't get away.

My heart was broken, both for my dad's loss and because Crystal couldn't make it. She managed to call Mom and talk with her for an hour. I could understand why she couldn't return, but Mom was clearly not so forgiving. Crystal declined to speak to me. That hurt.

Obviously, she didn't attend my graduation.

I came home to stay with Mom for a week before heading to graduate school.

I confess that I was an alchemist starting when I was maybe eight years old. I got my first chemistry set then. My goal wasn't turning lead into gold like my predecessors. I wanted to create a potion to make Crystal love me. Of course, I failed completely. Now my ambition is to make high-molecular weight biochemicals love each other.

That brings us up to date. Familywise, I communicate with Mom on a regular basis. She says Crystal communicates infrequently. She saw her a few months ago when she was passing through. Of course, Crystal doesn't communicate with me.

Monday morning, midway through the spring semester, I walked into my lab to find Crystal sitting on a lab bench, feet dangling. "Holy shit! Did I take some LSD this morning and am hallucinating?"

She gave me her trademark scowl and said nothing.

My heart was ready to leap out of my chest it was beating so hard. "I know it's only been six years since we've seen each other, but could you at least say hello?"

"Hello, Perry."

"Crystal, you look fabulous. Great! You're more beautiful than ever."

She didn't even blush. "Done?"

That knocked me back to reality. "Well, this obviously isn't a social visit, renewing a sibling relationship. What do you want?"

"It's not a social visit. I really don't want to be here, but I don't have any options left."

I tilted my head to look at her, puzzlement on my face.

"Can we go to your office? We need some privacy. What I'm going to tell you is very confidential and I require you to not disclose it."

"In that case, go fuck yourself. You're not requiring me to do anything."

She stopped in her tracks and thought for a second. "Sorry, I'm not requiring you, I'm asking you because it could endanger me."

"OK."

We went to my office, which, fortunately, had a door that locked. She started, "You're aware of the Commerce Control List which covers technical information and items that may be restricted. Your grant requires you to exercise Export Control care over certain projects you may work on."

I nodded. Well aware of the need to restrict certain material from potential export. It was actually second on our list of importance, since a lot of our work was potentially patentable, so we were careful.

"I believe Mom told you that I'm an FBI agent?"

"Yes."

She stopped for a moment. I took in the scene. She was still 5'6" and 125 pounds. Still hair so white and light that it would have floated if she hadn't had it in a braid. Her chest was maybe B-cup, although I couldn't really tell as she was in a jacket. Not bigger, maybe smaller. Her hips were a magnificent swell. Couldn't see her ass. She was looking at me without much expression.

I guessed that she had a Glock in a holster on her hip. It was intermittently on display. Since she was wearing long pants, I couldn't see her legs. Figured she had an ankle backup.

I was 5'10" and 165 pounds. Brown hair, cut short and uncombed. A couple of days beard growth (I'm too lazy to shave every day and not interested in seeking companionship.) I was reasonably fit because I ran every day and worked out with my home weight set. My heart was racing. My hate for her was on the floor, fractured to pieces by my love for her. How quickly we forget pain.

"You probably know the FBI investigates breeches or potential breeches of export control regulations."

I had a moment's panic. Did we fuck up someplace?

She read the concern in my face. "Not you."

I relaxed.

She continued, "We are investigating a commercial biotech company for potential violations. We believe they want to sell regulated technology to the Chinese. They are very careful, so we can't just bust in and arrest everyone. I'm in an undercover role, trying to figure everything out. I'm posing as somebody who can transfer material to anyone for a price. I'm specialized in biotech because I have a biochemist for a husband. He supplies the expertise to insure nobody gets screwed."

I followed her narrative but didn't see any problem. OK, it looked like she could be in danger if the company and Chinese wanted to play rough.

"We're at a critical stage but we have a problem. The Chinese don't trust me because I'm not ethnic Chinese. Because they don't trust me, the tech firm doesn't either. I have to get their trust."

I just looked at her as if to say so?

"I need to produce a husband with the required qualifications. We don't have any agents with the qualifications, the right age and available. That's why I need you."

"There must be plenty of people qualified. Why me?"

"It must be somebody I trust. The numbers involved are in the hundreds of millions of dollars. Suppose they offered my 'husband' ten million to betray me? I trust you."

"Are you sure of that? After you made my life a living hell for 15 years, maybe I'd want some revenge."

"You would never betray me. You'd die first. Right?"

I looked at her. Her face was expressionless. But she was absolutely correct. How did she know?'

"Yes."

Now she had a self-satisfied smile.

"There are several problems. I'm in the middle of my PhD program. You want me to just leave for how long?"

"A month, six weeks. We'll fix it."

"Aren't you worried they'll come here and ask why the FBI borrowed me?"

"We'll give you a new identity. Your name and mine won't be Carson."

I gave up on that line of attack. "How are you going to live with me, as my supposed wife for a month? Only a blind, deaf and dumb person would be fooled. There's no way your hatred for me wouldn't show through."

That didn't even slow her down. "Who said we were happily married? I can work that easily enough."

I shook my head. "They would pick that apart. Use the unhappiness to split us and deal with us individually. We'd both be caught."

I could see she didn't like this approach. I continued, "Ask you FBI psychologists the best approach. I'd guess it would be that we were devoted to each other and that harming one would end the deal."

She acted guilty. "How did you know that's what they recommend?"

"It was obvious... Now back to the question. Are you that good of an actress?"

"Guess I don't have much choice."

"Then we should practice. Give me a kiss."

Her face darkened. I thought she might reach for her weapon before she got control.

"See what I mean? How are you going to pull this off?"

"I'll have to control my feelings... Are you in or out?"

"In."

"OK. Let's go. Our first stop is a secure house where we can train you on your background. I know you've got a great memory, so it shouldn't be too difficult."

By the time she drove to the house, I'd reconciled my reservations. I asked myself how much she knew of my love for her. It was obvious that she thought that I had more love than hate for her. I resented that she played that card.

The secure house was occupied by three FBI agents. Special Agent Norman Hills was in command and took charge of our education.

"Let's start with the basics. You're Perry Sullivan, married to Crystal for the last three years... We try to keep things as close to truth as possible. Less chance of a slip. So, we keep Perry and Crystal."

He handed me a notebook. "Memorize everything in this. We'll go over it and fill in the blanks after you study it... Crystal, here's yours."

With that he sent us off to the library to study. Since she had less to read than me (background on the investigation), she was done sooner. When I looked up after reading it, she said, "Lunch. Then we go over it together."

Lunch wasn't more than sandwiches, but I was happy to sit across the table from her. She had relaxed from her FBI uniform into sweats. I wasn't sure she was more relaxed, though.

She sent me into one bedroom where a suitcase full of my clothes resided. I didn't ask, just changed into running shorts and sweatshirt. We reassembled in the library, just her and me.

She had read my folder yesterday and, so, was familiar with it. She started quizzing me. I would pick holes. Like, "Where did we meet? I was majoring in chemistry, and you were majoring in business. Not much overlap, plus you were older."

We spun some scenarios and adopted one.

"Where did we go on our honeymoon?" - No honeymoon. Too poor. On our bucket list.

This went on for four more hours. Everything was somewhat safe from the elephant in the room. When we were out of the easy things, I broached the husband-wife thing. "Us."

"What?"

"You know what I mean. Our physical and emotional interaction. We're obviously going to need to kiss and hug. We will need to share one bed. We need to be familiar with each other's bodies. They could separate us and ask us to describe things about each other. Like, moles, tits, shaved/not shaved, scars, dick size, etc."

As I was listing elements, her face was getting darker until I thought she was going to explode. "We'll take pictures for the other to study."

I shook my head. "That almost works, but what if they demand that we have sex or do something else like 69? I don't know about you, but if they make us perform in front of them, it would be obvious that we knew nothing about each other. We're supposed to be married for three years."

She stormed out of the room. I sat there, figured this was the end.

She returned in a half hour with Agent Hills in tow. He started, "This is an obvious ethical concern. You're siblings and we're asking you to commit incest to continue the operation. I'm sure this is unethical as hell, and we shouldn't be asking either of you. I'm a dedicated fucker, though, and I really want to take this group of traitors down, so I am asking you to do something unethical and illegal."

"Wouldn't it come out at a trial and the judge throw it out?"

"One worry at a time. By asking that question, I assume you're giving it consideration or actually acceptance?"

"I'm willing. You should know some history, though. Crystal has never liked me, actually hated me. She still hates me. I think she'd rather kiss an octopus than me. So, it's her you need to convince."

He turned to Crystal. "It's all or nothing. Half measure won't work and would collapse, meaning you both could end up dead. We can cancel the operation and go at it another way. Perry, you could return to school. Crystal, it wouldn't show as a minus on your record."

"Shit! Guess I didn't think this through well enough to anticipate this level of commitment. OK, I'm in. We need to take these guys down."

She turned to me That wasn't a smile on her face. "Don't think this will change anything between us."

I wisely kept my mouth shut. My heart and mind were racing. I was going to have sex with my beautiful sister. A hope beyond my wildest dreams. Maybe it was wishful thinking, that she couldn't be unaffected by the love I was going to show her. Fingers crossed.

Agent Hills smiled, then said, "We don't have much time to get everything done. The day after tomorrow we need to move. They're getting anxious and we can't delay much longer without raising suspicion. Can you become a convincing couple in a day and a half?"

Crystal and I looked at each other, then nodded.

"All right. Start being domestic. We're bringing in dinner, but you guys need to start acting like husband and wife. Act like you're familiar with each other, like touching each other is routine. Joke, smile at each other like you're happy to just see and be together. For this to work, there can't be any obvious acting. You have to project your marriage was what you wanted and finally got it.

Perry, you chased her and finally won her love.

Crystal, you didn't try hard to resist him. You're happy to be his wife.

Can you pull this off?" He was staring directly at Crystal.

We again nodded our acceptance.

"I'll be your director. Keep in mind, though, that we're playing for keeps. One slip and you both could end up dead. This isn't a movie set where you can screw up and do another take."

That threw a dash of cold water. I was so happy to be close to her, loving her, that I thought love would conquer all. His words were a reminder of the stakes.

The doorbell rang. Hills said, "Dinner has arrived. You're a couple how do you handle it? Who volunteers to answer the door? What do you call each other? Saying Perry answer the fucking door won't cut it."

I turned to Crystal, "Hon, I'll get the door. You open the wine."

She hesitated a split second before replying, "I'm on it, love."

Hills stopped us. "Perry, you're OK. Crystal, smile. Better not to use 'love' here. You're not newlyweds."

I answered the door to get the order from the Korean takeout. It was a larger order than you'd expect from two people, but extra cars out front explained that we had guests.

We used the living room to eat. I sat down on the sofa, and Crystal, after a short hesitation, sat down next to me.

Hills: "Don't hesitate. Smile, not grimace. Sit closer. Occasionally, touch each other. Fleeting touches, like you're just making sure the other is still there. Interact with each other, not like you're reading a fucking script."

We finished. After I wiped my hands on the wet-wipe that came with meal, I put my hand on her thigh. I could feel her tense up for a fraction of a second before she relaxed. I don't think it was visible to Hills.

We spent the evening getting used to each other with Hills coaching. By 10 we were much more used to each other and were making fewer mistakes.

Hills looked us in the face and said, "Bedtime. This is the last chance to bail."

I sure wasn't going to quit. Neither was Crystal. I stood up and took her hand. By the time we got to the stairs to go up, her hand was sweaty. Or maybe it was mine. Or both.

Both of us in the bathroom at the same time seemed too much for her. She went in first to do her chores before relinquishing the bathroom to me.

When I returned to the room, she was in a nightgown that covered her down to her knees. I was in my running shorts, no shirt.

I walked to her and stopped three feet in front. "I have a confession to make. I'm a virgin. I've kissed and fooled around a little but never gone all the way."

"WHAT!!!!! What do you mean? You've never fucked a woman before?"

"No. Never really dated, either."

"I can't fucking believe it. Objectively, you're not a bad looking guy. Why not?"

"Do you really have to ask why not?"

I could see the lightbulb come on behind her eyes. "I don't fucking believe it! I never gave you the slightest hint that I felt anything other than loathing for you. I hate to fuck up your wet dream, but when this is finished, I'll feel the same towards you as I always felt."

"You know, for once I don't care what you do. I will take a few days or weeks with you, pretending that you care as much for me as I do for you. Then, if it's back to hating me, I'll cherish this time till the great blackness erases my memory. Everything I will ever do or accomplish will pale in comparison. You may look back at it with disgust or whatever, but I hope in the back pages of your soul, you will understand that one time in your life you did a good deed for your brother."

I didn't know if she really understood what I just said. But, then, I never understood how she could hate me so thoroughly.

She stood still for a moment, considering whether to back out. I could see the resignation in her eyes. "Take off your shorts."

I dropped them, exposing my half-hard cock. She took the remaining steps between us and put her arms around my neck. Her eyes momentarily hardened, then she kissed me. It was so electric that I was momentarily stunned. It was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me.

I opened my mouth and gently touched the tip of my tongue to her lower lip. She opened her lips and touched my tongue with hers. That opened the floodgates for our tongues' exploration. I tried to touch her tonsils but had to be satisfied with less. I lowered my hands to her ass. Ran them up and down and gently squeezed her cheeks.

I pulled up the hem of her gown to above her butt. She had on a pair of thin, silky panties that felt so good that I never wanted to stop. I pulled the nightgown up further, separating us to the neck. I backed off enough to pull it over her head, leaving her in just panties, and resumed kissing.

I stopped to look. Her tits were small, less than the B-cup I imagined. They were tight cones on her chest. The nipples were pink and firm when they pressed into my chest. Her areolae were tiny, pale and barely setting off her nipples.

Her whole body was pale, the hair on her arms so light it was difficult to see. Her eyebrows were also pale and thin.

I dropped my head down enough to touch my tongue to her right nipple. It swirled around that hard point, causing it to peak. My lips went around it even though my tongue didn't leave the tip. She had a slightly sweaty taste that was immediately overtaken by her body flavor. I sucked vigorously, trying to get her whole breast into my mouth. I kept my tongue on the nipple as I sucked.

When the flavor disappeared, I switched to the left breast. I gave it the same treatment. I'm sure her tits could have kept me occupied all night. This was as far as I had ever gotten with any woman. A slight hesitation, then I put my thumbs into the waistband of her panties. I left her tits to see what I was exposing as I drew down her panties.

Her pubic hair was as blonde as the hair on her head. There wasn't much of it, so her slit was readily apparent. It was readily apparent in more ways than one. I caught her scent. That evoked a half-remembrance from when she dumped her laundry basket on my head.

Her vulva was just a thin slit. Her minors were completely encased in her major labia. She stepped out of her panties and put my hand to cup her pussy. She moaned when I put a finger between her labia. I knew that I needed to find her clit, but I lacked experience to know exactly where it was. I moved my finger up, seeking 'a small bud', but I didn't find anything distinguishable at the top of her slit.

She took my hand and placed the finger on her clit. Apparently, it was tiny as I still didn't feel anything resembling a pea. It appeared right, as I pressed on it, as she moaned louder.

I ran my finger up and down her valley. She was wet, although not as much as in the porn I read. My finger went into her. I searched for the mysterious G-spot. She kissed me and she moaned into my mouth although I didn't find any rough spot in the anterior wall of her vagina.

At this point, I was lost on what to do next. She took over. She turned us so that her back was to the bed. She went over backwards, pulling me on top of her. She bent at the knees, keeping her feet on the floor. As soon as we settled, she pushed on my shoulders, forcing me down her body.

That was all the hint I needed. I spread her legs and got between them. Face-on to her pussy. The scent was overpowering, so I dove in. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just pushed my face into her pussy.

She provided the instructions. "Lick up one lip, all the way to my clit. Lick hard all around it, then go down the other lip. Keep doing that till I stop you."

I followed her directions. I did spend more time licking around her clit. Her juices began to flow. Her taste erased years of abuse. I would happily drink it forever.

She let me lick the outside of her pussy for several minutes before changing my instructions. "Use your fingers to spread the lips. Now, put your tongue between the lips. Start at the bottom and lick up till you come to my clit. Suck on it. It's not big, so take some of the surrounding tissue with it."

She was flowing strongly. There was some escaping from the bottom, running down her taint. I paused to catch it with my tongue, not wanting any to escape. She moaned her approval.

Her hips were thrusting up, meeting my tongue whenever it touched her clit. Now, I could feel a tiny hard spot where her clit was. When I pressed my tongue to it, she came.

"OH, FUCK!!!!! You're making me cum! OOOOOOOHHHHHH. FUCK!!!!!!"

When her hips stopped moving, she pulled my wet face away from her pussy. "Come up on the bed."

My hard, dripping cock led the way. She reached down and squeezed it. I shot a geyser of cum onto her chest! She stroked it till everything was on her, the bed and her hand. Her face was neutral. I couldn't tell if she was OK or that it was just something she had to do. Oh, I was sure she enjoyed cumming but had no idea of her feelings.

She, of course, knew that if we tried to fuck, I would have dumped my load a half an inch inside her.

She got up and returned with a towel to wipe us. "When you recover we can fuck."

She took my cock in her warm hand. It didn't take more than a few trips up and down before I was fully hard. She pushed me onto my back and asked, "Do you want my tits or my ass?"

"Huh?"

"Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl?"

"Cowgirl."

She climber over me till her pussy was above my groin. She reached down to aim me at her. I watched the labia open and then she touched them to the crown of my cock. Even though I had just squirted, it felt like I needed to cum again. I managed to calm down enough to enjoy the journey as she slid down.

Her pussy was wet and lit by some internal fire. It felt tight but I had no way of knowing how tight it actually was. Not that it mattered. I was inside my beautiful sister. Never could I have imagined the euphoria this brought on. I would give everything I own to have this continue.

She moved up and down with both energy and grace. There weren't any unnecessary side-motions. I took her tits in my hands, caressing them in time with her movements. Through slitted eyes, I watched her face, not her tits. I tried to read it, but I couldn't with any accuracy. She clearly was enjoying the physical part of the sex. Alas, I didn't see any emotion, only some concentration. Of course, I didn't know how she had sex with other partners. The concentration may have been normal.

What I wanted was to hear her say that this was the best sex she ever had and that she loved it (and me). No such proclamation was forthcoming. Regardless, the feel of her pussy on my cock was everything I wanted it to be. Guess you take what you can get.

She started bouncing faster and bottoming out on my abdomen with more force. I squeezed her nipples. This accelerated her motions. She slammed down hard on me and I came. And I came. And I came. I was sure she felt it, but she didn't stop and I didn't go soft.

It took no more than a half dozen surges before she also came. It was quiet, only betrayed by a loud hiss and the cessation of her movements. I held her up by cupping her tits.

She looked me in the face. "Well, you're no longer a virgin."

Since my smile was eating up my whole face, it was obvious she was correct. I spoiled the mood by saying, "No matter how you feel about me, I love you."

That earned a frown and silence.

She crawled off and stood up. "We should take a shower together, so we become more familiar with each other."

I wasn't expecting that. I felt like I got a Christmas bonus.

There was a reasonably sized shower, so we easily fit. She washed me, front and back. Inspecting me for moles, scars, distinguishing features. She knew about the three-inch long scar on my left shoulder from when she tripped me into a chain-link fence, and the other scar that was from when I had my appendix removed at age 13. The inspection and washing were almost clinical. Her job was to find out everything about me.

I, on the other hand, looked with anticipation to washing her. She turned away so I could begin. She undid her braid, so her hair hung down to her shoulder blades. I remembered the time I had touched it. Now, I was shampooing it. Fingers removed the kinks. Her wet hair, not as fine as when it was dry. Still exciting.

Her back was blemish-free. Very little excess fat. Her musculature was easily visible. She looked very fit. Small love handles, almost invisible. Her ass was perfect. How many years had I looked at it in wonder, wanting nothing more than to cup it in my hands. Now, I was. In a dream? Was I really able to squeeze her beautiful ass? Color me in heaven. Think I would have played with it until the hot water ran out, but she had other ideas. "Get on with it. We don't have all night."

I opened her crack to run my finger in it. She jerked when I touched her little asshole. She turned towards me. "Now the front."

I would have like to continue to play with her ass, although her front was an outstanding consolation prize. Although she probably didn't consider her face as a part that I needed to wash, I couldn't resist just touching her cheek with the back of my hand - flooding a memory I held in the secret rooms of my heart. She simply looked puzzled, while my heart threatened to burst from my chest.

I reluctantly continued to wash her neck and shoulders. It was obvious she worked out as she was firm in a way that suggested considerable strength. The water running off her tits was hypnotizing. I could have watched longer, regardless of my desire to cup them. Her nipples were hard before I touched them. Guess my caresses of her ass did accomplish more than making me hard.

I rolled the nipples between my fingers, feeling the firmness and my desires. She allowed that for a while before gently pushing my hands lower. She spread her legs as my hands approached her pussy. When I touched her labia, a shiver went through us both. I spread then to allow my fingers access to her interior. A bolus of fluid made up of my cum and her juice dropped out. I reached inside to gather more and extract it from her vagina. She moaned.

I continued to finger her, playing with her inner labia and her clit. She had a hold of my upper arm, squeezing it in syncopation to my finger movement. I leaned over to kiss her, with one hand behind her back. She pressed on my hand with her pussy and harder on my arm with her hand. It didn't take long for her to cum.

She leaned back, using the shower wall for support.

My dick was pointing towards her. She looked down and dropped to her knees. She licked the glans for a few minutes, oblivious of the water pouring down her face. Then she took the head into her mouth. She pulled back, opened her mouth to fill it with water before taking me in again. Warm water spilled out.

She started stroking, taking me deeper each cycle. She maxed out about three quarters down. She started moving rapidly, ramping me up quickly. When she reached up and took my balls in her hand, I came hard. She kept sucking until I was empty, then she spit everything down the drain. I was obviously hoping she would swallow. It was still awesome.

She rinsed her mouth and turned off the water. We got out and dried off. We didn't get dressed for bed.

She knelt on the bed, her ass in the air. "Kiss it."

"What?"

"Kiss my ass. Stick your tongue in my asshole."

She obviously thought she was degrading me. Never in a million years. I swirled my tongue around the little wrinkle before pushing the tip in. She tasted of the shower and some unique flavor de Crystal. I loved everything about her and would love her ass for as long as she'd let me. Alas, not nearly long enough before she dropped onto the bed.

We first lay on our backs before I rolled over to face her. She slowly moved into the little spoon position. I pulled her into firm contact. She didn't object. Nor did she seek to make it tighter. I was content. The object of a thousand dreams and ejaculations was in my arms, her butt against my abdomen. Deep in my heart, I knew this was fleeting. In my internal honesty, I knew. I cried for the future because I understood there wasn't one. She was simply enjoying the physical acts, much like an escort would. I would take what I could get, whatever she was willing to give.

I woke up once in the night. My hardness in her crack. I played with her nipples before dropping a hand to her pussy. She murmured, then woke up. No objection to what I was doing.

When I lifted her leg to slide my cock into her, she was wet. I slid in easily. She murmured again and pushed back as I bottomed out. We moved against each other, feeling our comfort levels increase. We needed to be free with each other without having to think about it. That we enjoyed the sex was an added benefit.

Our motions started out slowly. We gradually picked up speed and intensity. I rolled her over onto her stomach without losing connection. I loved the feel of her ass pressing up to meet my strokes. She came with a prolonged grunt. Her pussy clamped down on me as her Kegels kicked in. I strained to move, but I couldn't. The exertion of trying to get deeper was enough to make me cum. I hissed loudly in her ear and emitted sounds that weren't words.

We didn't sleep very late. Hills banged on our door shortly after dawn. When I got up to open the door, he smirked at me. "Sounded like you guys are getting better acquainted. That's a good start. We'll start again after breakfast."

I opened the bathroom door to find Crystal sitting on the toilet. We both turned a little red. I started to back out. "Wait. We need to get used to each other in otherwise embarrassing moments."

I listened to her pee trying to fill the toilet. She stated a few things we needed to agree on. "We're comfortable being in the bathroom together, except when one of us has to go number 2. You don't wipe me. We share a toothbrush if one of us forgot it. We don't do anal. We tried once in the first month we were married, it was painful and we never tried again. OK?"

"Got it."

"We live together for six months before we got married. I was and am on the pill. We've never used condoms. We had sex 7-10 times a week for almost a year. We slowly tapered to four or five times a week. We still have sex when I'm on my period. We just wipe carefully."

"Understand."

"We've talked about kids. Not enough money for us to feel comfortable. Sometime in the future. If this deal goes well, then we probably reconsider the timing. We will have two."

"OK. Shower?"

We did a quick rinse off. Way too short for me, and she wasn't in a playful mood.

Hills had her cook breakfast. We agreed on what we liked. The rest of the morning was spent doing our homework. After lunch, Hills had us sit on the sofa. "You're bored. You only have each other. What do you do?"

I leaned over and kissed her. She immediately understood. Hills left us alone. We were dressed loosely, both in running shorts and singlets. I ran my hand up her leg to under her shorts to play with her pussy.

She put her hand on my cock, which quickly filled out. My playing had her excited in no time. We kept kissing as I crawled up, so I was on top. I lifted her shirt off and cupped her tits. One hand under her shorts and one caressing each tit in turn.

I removed my hand and started dry humping my hardness into her pussy. She heaved up and threw me onto the floor. I landed with a thump. She stood and removed her shorts. She leaned over the sofa arm and wiggled her ass at me.

Two steps and I was rubbing my cock between her ass cheeks, having expeditiously shed my shorts on the way. I put it under her ass to feel her pussy. She wasn't dripping like before. I rubbed the glans up and down her slit, using one hand. The other went to her tits for more nipple-play. Quickly, the crown was covered in her fluid.

I pushed into her. All the way to her cervix in the initial thrust. "Oh, God, you feel so good!"

She seemed to moan her agreement.

I was riding high on the physical and emotional aspects of what we were engaged in. It was almost impossible to believe she wasn't as emotionally committed as I was. I was likely fooling myself.

She actually came pretty quickly. I was able to continue, after giving her a few moments to recover. She was still very excited, and it wasn't long before I felt her climbing the mountain again. I wanted it to last all afternoon. She felt too good, causing me to immediately cum after she came again. There was much less of a deposit.

I collapsed over her back. Slick skin on slick skin. She didn't stay in place very long. "We've got more work to do."

We dressed and returned to work. Hills was merciless, but if we wanted to pull this off, it was necessary.

When we had done everything we could, the next day Hills drove us to our fake apartment. We had a meeting with the suspects that evening. We couldn't risk having bugs in the apartment or on us. They would surely check. The FBI set up in a room directly across from us. The building was U-shaped and they took a room where they could aim a very powerful parabolic microphone at our window.

Hills had one final instruction. Have an early dinner then a long fuck. Energetic enough to leave us feeling euphoric and the bed well used.

Two people showed up at about 6:30. A woman, who looked Chinese, and a man with a distinctive New England accent. The woman said to call her Mrs. Wu. The man said his name was Colin. Crystal was familiar with Colin and had been dealing with him for the last two weeks. Mrs. Wu's face was as hard as the faces on Mt. Rushmore.

I could see Colin was relieved to meet me, confirming some of Crystal's story. Mrs. Wu was expressionless.

The first thing they did was to check for bugs in the apartment and on us.

We went over what they wanted. Basically, to send some critical biotech material to Mrs. Wu's employers in China. If all they wanted was papers, details, and results, it would have been trivial to send them. They wanted hardware and samples, making it much more difficult.

That's where Crystal's organization came in. I was supposed to verify that all the hardware and samples were legit. I was also to supervise the packing to ensure living things survived.

We talked goals and, importantly, money. Mrs. Wu's employer was going to pay 300 million dollars for everything delivered to Shanghai. Our payment was to be $25 million.

That started the ball rolling. It would take about two weeks to get duplicate hardware and samples from the tech company smuggled to a warehouse where we would take over.

Meanwhile, they didn't trust us. We asserted that it was mutual. We didn't trust them. They came over several times. The next visit was critical. They needed assurances we were actually who we said we were. Their test was we had to have sex in front of them. They reasoned that if we were agents, we wouldn't go as far as actually having sex or if we did it would be obvious that we were faking it. They based their belief on the extremely low probability that any law enforcement agency would have a married couple with the necessary expertise.

We easily pulled that off. I was quite happy to have sex with Crystal, even with observers. She showed reluctance but finally agreed. We went into the bedroom, saying we weren't going to do anything on the sofa. We quickly disposed of our clothes. I hugged her naked body, kissing her without any restraint. We ran our hands over the other's body before I dropped her on the bed.

I got between her legs to lick her pussy. She wasn't very wet and it would look funny if I had a difficult time entering her. Instead, she pulled me up and got me on my back. She quickly climbed over me, her pussy within range of my mouth. I kissed it and pressed my nose into her ass crack. She leaned forward to suck my glans into her mouth, as I started to lick her. My first 69.

When she sensed that I was becoming uncomfortably close to cumming she slid down my body, leaving a wet trail. When she got to my groin, she lifted up and sank her pussy down on my cock. Her ass was magnificent as she bounced up and down. Her little star was smiling at me. When she leaned forward, it became a tiny mouth, opening and closing.

I reached around her and managed to get my finger on her clit. This was all she needed to cum. When her vagina contracted, I came, as well.

We put on a credible performance. By the end, Mrs. Wu was sweating. Colin was red-faced and there was a large wet spot in his pants.

Crystal stood up to run to the bathroom, and a splash of our combined juice fell onto my leg before she got off.

That seemed to erase a lot of doubt in their minds.

During our wait till they got everything collected with the help of another guy in the tech firm, we didn't have sex very often. Just enough so that if they showed up uninvited, we would still be in character. I, of course, wanted to live like we were married. She lacked enthusiasm. The sex was good, but only on her schedule.

The transfer was finally set for a Saturday morning. This was the culmination, after three weeks of sweating it out. They would have the technology and be ready to give us an upfront payment of one million. All that money and items in one place made everyone nervous. We were certain Mrs. Wu's employer would have considerable security in place. So would the FBI.

We were understandably nervous the night before. I suggested we have sex to relax us and allow us to get some sleep. She agreed.

I took it very slowly. I wanted her to feel good and to remember it as the best experience she ever had. On my part, I was dying because I was sure this would be the last time I was with her. I knew in my heart of hearts that I would never be with her again as long as I walked this Earth.

We started with a long shower. I washed and caressed every inch of her beautiful body. I think I also kissed every square inch. By the end, she was getting impatient.

When we got to bed, I repeated the kissing. Finally, settling down by my focusing on her tits and pussy. I sucked on her nipples and played with the one not occupied. An occasional break to kiss her before drifting down her body. The fine, fine hair below her bellybutton didn't offer much resistance to my kisses and tongue.

By the time I reached the top of her blonde hair, she was squirming and moaning. Her scent was filling the room. My fingers touched a swamp between her legs. There was no question she was very excited. Don't think she was as excited as me.

By the time my nose invaded her pubic hair, my hand was on the thigh, just below her pussy. A river was flowing over it. I got between her legs. They opened like an oyster. I started licking, invading her slit with my tongue.

I ignored her labia for the treasure within. Her clit was as large as I'd ever seen it. It was very sensitive. I guessed this was the first time it had exited its protective hood. Sucking on it produced two climaxes in rapid succession. She was drowning me in fluid.

She finally pulled my head away and dragged me up till I was aimed at the pussy. I knew I wouldn't last long, although I was sure it wouldn't go soft. I slid into her very wet canal, all the way to her cervix, non-stop. As I expected, I came just as the glans made contact with her cervix. I paused only long enough to catch my breath before continuing.

The added moisture made her so slippery, I had to be careful not to pull back too far and lose connection. I picked up a smooth rhythm. She was moaning heavily. I kissed her then. My mouth clamped to hers like a limpid. She was breathing hard into my mouth. We were barely able to get enough oxygen.

She started cumming. Then it was with machine precision. Once every few minutes. Even though her ass was in the wet spot, I could feel the pool expanding down to my knees. I started pounding harder. She responded by bucking up harder.

It was finally too much for me. I came, pressed as deep as possible into her. "OH! OH, FUCK!!!! FFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!"

She shoved me off so she could resume breathing.

The next morning, we were both nervous. She, more than me, because I didn't really understand the danger. As we were getting out of the car at the warehouse, I told her, "If things go south... I love you."

She didn't say anything in return.

It was almost anticlimactic. They were there with the money, hardware and samples. They had exactly two bodyguards. They were obviously armed and nervous. There were at least two dozen heavily armed FBI agents, though. The agents burst into the room, yelling and pointing weapons. They surrendered without a fight.

I spent the next day being interviewed and deposed. Sometimes by myself. Sometimes with Crystal.

They put me up in their secure house when I wasn't in the FBI building. On Monday, they were ready to let me go home. Crystal appeared as I was taking my suitcase out to the car.

"Thanks for your help. It was very important to stop them."

I reached for her to hug her goodbye. She stepped back. "Goodbye."

She turned and went back inside the house. I was stunned that she could be so cruel. Hills was standing beside me to take me home. He looked at me and shook his head. I could see pity on his face before everything disappeared in a wave of tears.

SKIP FORWARD

I completed my PhD in another year. I was then offered a tenure track position at an Ivy League university. I started my own research group with five graduate students. I didn't have any trouble getting grants, so I was popular with the administration. After an additional three years, I was recruited by a national lab. The university countered by a promotion to Associate Professor with tenure. I accepted.

The only thing resulting from our operation was a small mention of two individuals from the tech firm and a foreign national being sentenced to 20 years in prison for espionage and violation of export control regulations. Apparently, faced with all the evidence, they pled guilty because I was never called to testify. The two bodyguards were deported.

I heard nothing from Crystal. Mom said she was someplace in California. She got Christmas and birthday cards from her.

I walked into my lab on Friday morning at about 6 AM. (I like to start early before the endless stream of students invade my office.) Sitting on a lab bench was Crystal. Deja vu.

I was stunned. I hadn't heard from or seen her for at least five years. All the frustration, hurt, bitterness boiled to the surface. "What the fuck do you want? Can't find any kittens to torture? Flies to pull the wings off? Why are you fucking back? I have no interest in even talking with you. Please get the fuck out."

"I deserve that. Give me five minutes, please. Then if you still want me gone, I'll disappear forever."

"OK." I turned to go to my office. She followed. She was again dressed in FBI standard attire.

"Your five minutes start now. If you want me for any undercover work, the answer is hell no and you can leave now."

"That's not what I want. The first thing I want to do is to sincerely apologize for how I treated you the morning you left our secure house. No matter how I felt about you, there was no excuse for how I treated you after you helped us. I'm sure that nothing I can say will ever erase that hurt. Please, I'm so sorry."

The hurt wasn't eased in the slightest. "Go on."

"The next thing I want to apologize for is ghosting you for these last five years. I regret it deeply."

"Doubtful."

"Believe what you want."

"These are just words. It sounds like you want something from me again."

"I guess I do, at that."

"Whatever it is, the answer is 'not a fucking chance in hell'."

Her head was down. Unbelievably, I could see tears running down her cheeks. I don't think I'd ever seen her cry before except in tears of rage.

"I think our time is up. I just want to ask you one question that I'd like a completely truthful answer."

"Ask."

"Why do you hate me so much? I never did anything to you. When you started hating me I was only five! Five fucking years old! Why? Just tell me why?'

"I blamed you for having us move and disrupting my life."

"How could I do that? I was five years old!"

The tears were flowing down her cheeks and off her chin. "I overheard Mom tell Dad that we had to move because the school system was going to destroy your learning. Your test scores were so high that they had to move to a better school."

"That's it? It was my fault because I was five? But why did you hate me after that? Couldn't you get over it?"

She shook her head, spraying tears, "No, I couldn't. I told myself it was irrational, but I couldn't stop hating you."

"I don't know what to say. Almost 30 years of loving you while you hated me. It just doesn't make sense."

"You're right. It didn't make sense... I know my time is up, but could I have the chance to tell you something?"

"OK." Reluctantly.

"A couple of months ago, I was transferred to the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia. Agent Hills was my supervisor. You remember him? When I got there, he called me in for an interview. We got around to talking about the undercover operation you were involved in.

He said that my career in the FBI wasn't where it should have been, based on my actions before the operation. After, I wasn't respected because I was cold and distant. This kept me outside the core. He said you'll probably be OK here because you weren't supposed to be friends with the trainees. I told him I didn't think that was correct.

He replied that it most certainly was. He then asked if he could be blunt. I told him to go ahead.

He said, "Because you're a fucking idiot and as uncaring as a rock. Your brother gave up what he was doing, gave you his unconditional love and risked his life for you, and you fucking shit all over him. You couldn't even say a proper goodbye to him. I don't know why and I don't really care, but your actions are so contemptable, so unforgivable that, if it was up to me, I'd dismiss you from the FBI. In fact, I see little future for you unless you somehow develop some compassion for other people. Let me ask you this. Do you have even a single friend that you can talk to about anything? I know you don't.""

"I asked for it and he gave it to me completely unblemished."

"I was shaken to the core. Nobody had ever talked to me that way. As I walked out of his office I decided I had three choices. I could resign. I could ignore what he told me and continue as I was. I could think deeply about what he said and maybe do something about it. I chose the last way. I took a week off. I visited Mom - the first time I had seen her in three years. She was obviously happy to see me. I did something I had never done before. I had a serious talk with her. We talked about growing up, about you, about Dad. She admitted that they realized I didn't get along with you. They first thought it was just the normal sibling stuff, but they slowly realized it was somewhat irrational. By that time, they couldn't do anything, so they basically gave up. She still believed that some of the problems were your fault, despite no evidence to support it."

Her five minutes were up, although I didn't make an effort to evict her. I knew she went through friends like shit through a goose (to use Patton's phrase). I didn't realize she never really had one good one.

"So, this is where I'm at. I've come to apologize for everything I've ever done to you. I don't think these few words justify asking for your forgiveness. Maybe some time in the future you can see your way to forgiving me. I don't expect or deserve it... I'm on 21-day leave from the FBI. I have to decide whether I want to go back or resign.

OK, my time is up. I'll leave you in peace. I hope you understand I had to get this off my chest."

Not really paying to much attention to what I was saying, "What are you going to do with your leave?"

"Probably go to north of Chicago, get a cottage on a lake and think."

"Doesn't sound too healthy."

"You know, at this point I don't give a rat's ass."

My heart seized control of my mouth. "Would you like some company?"

She looked closely at me to see if I was serious. "You just wanna fuck me again."

"Of course, I would, but that not what I'm offering. I'm offering to be your friend."

Her face clouded over and a waterfall of tears poured from her eyes. She stood and stumbled to me, threw her arms around me. Her one hand on the back of my neck, her face in my throat, the tears cascaded down my chest. Her body was racked with her sobs.

I didn't say or do anything other than hold her tightly. When she was finally cried out, I told her, "I'm serious. You need a friend more than a brother or a lover. Let me help."

"Can you do that? Can you be with me, despite everything I've done? Maybe I can't change."

"Maybe you can't, but if you don't try, it's guaranteed you won't."

I think she discovered something inside her. She could see that I was willing to sacrifice a helluva lot to help her again. That I wasn't asking for anything in return, other than being there with her. "Can you take the time off?"

"I'm not teaching this semester, and my grad students can get along with just email contact for a couple of weeks."