Care and Feeding Ch. 13

Chapter 13

Carmilla threw her head back and groaned, her climax hitting her as her body shuddered. She kept her head back and her eyes closed as it passed, absentmindedly rolling her hips in small, slow circles, grinning as she felt a drop of sweat run down her spine. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so full. Had she ever?

She looked down at Bryan and for an instant her smile flickered and her body stiffened. If he noticed he didn't react.

She looked at his face, eyes closed, pale and sweaty, his cheeks beginning to look visibly sunken. Her chest tightened and her heart skipped a beat. She reached a hand down and rubbed his chest softly, tenderly.

"Love, are you feeling okay?" She asked knowing the answer.

He nodded, panting, "fucking amazing."

She kept rubbing his chest, her joy replaced with concern and no small amount of guilt, until he opened his eyes and looked up at her, and the look of sheer devotion and love sent another shiver through her spine. If he said he was fine, who was she to question?

Still, as the rush faded, she felt... responsible? Concerned? It wasn't something she'd experienced before, but she couldn't help but feel a pull to care for him.

"Don't play brave for me," she said, playfully smacking his chest, "not for me. Not ever."

He reached up and ran a hand down her chest in the same spot she'd been rubbing his, and another shudder passed through her.

"Okay," he said, "I promise."

She slid off him and reached down to give him a quick but loving kiss on the lips.

"I have to go, but I'll bring you dinner later, okay? And that soup you like."

"You always take the best care of me," his voice was genuine, tender.

He was always that way, and she felt her heart break just a little.

"Of course, my love. You're always in my heart."

*****************

Bryan couldn't help but smile when she looked at him like that. He believed it when she said he was always in her heart, and it warmed him. He watched her get dressed and felt a stirring arousal he knew he didn't have the time or energy to act on, so instead he stretched, picked up his own clothes off the floor, and placed his hand on the small of her back as she walked towards the door.

"I'll come back after work," she said, kissing him on the cheek before closing the door behind her.

He smiled and waved at her through the window as her car pulled away, waiting until she was out of sight before letting himself collapse on the floor. His heart was pounding, and he felt a cold sweat break out on his forehead that he hoped hadn't been there while Carmilla was still there.

His alarm went off, reminding him of his appointment, and as he dismissed it he stared at his phone screen before deciding to call a ride-share. Driving probably wasn't the best idea.

********************

"I don't like this."

Bryan looked up, shaking off his wandering thoughts, and saw the look of concern on his doctor's face.

"Your blood pressure is even lower than last time, and your bloodwork is starting to show real signs of malnutrition. Are you on the diet we discussed? Avoiding strenuous activity?"

Bryan smirked, "well, some strenuous activity can't be avoided, if you know what I mean."

His doctor didn't smile.

"This is serious. If these numbers keep dropping like this you may very well have a cardiac event during your 'strenuous activities'," he used air quotes at the end, "how do you think your lady friend is going to feel if you drop dead?"

Bryan sighed.

"Okay, okay, I'll take it easy. Or I'll try at least."

His doctor shook his head.

"Please do."

********************

Carmilla felt that familiar tingle in her skin. Once it made her shudder, but she'd learned to keep her reactions internal-well, the occasional smile spread across her face, and she allowed herself that.

She walked down the street pretending not to notice the way that people looked at her-Bryan was more than devoted enough, had given her more than enough adoration to last for, days? Even she couldn't be sure. Still, that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy a little snack from the attention passersby gave her as she moved through the world. Being as well fed as she was, she had a little extra radiance that seemed to draw more attention than usual.

She reached the park and made her way to a bench in the shade of a large tree. It was occupied, but as she approached she could see them stiffen and sit up slightly. Two men-they appeared to be in their twenties-immediately jumped up and offered her their spot when she came close. She accepted with a smile and a nod, and took out a book, ignoring them completely as they stood there and shuffled their feet.

"So are you-" one of them began but she cut him off.

"Uninterested? Yes. Very." She let it hang in the air for a moment, tasting his disappointment before sighing and looking up at him.

"But also thirsty. I believe there's a coffee cart somewhere."

Both men perked up, looking at each other, the second one opening his mouth before she spoke over him.

"You pick. Impress me. If you can."

Both men ran off, teasing each other and pretending they weren't racing to be the first at the cart. It was a practiced performance, one she'd used to draw attention before, but for once she noticed that she really had preferred they leave. She wasn't here for that anyway.

She opened her book and pretended to read, but in reality she was looking around the park, observing the people around her.

There were some children playing some game that was somehow a cross between dodgeball and tag. She didn't spend much time watching them-children were not something she ever cared for or understood beyond the need for humans to survive as a species. In that sense she was grateful for them, but they couldn't give her what she was here for.

She kept scanning until she saw a couple on another bench a little way off. She could just make out what they were saying, something about a first date at that exact bench. One woman was nervous, fidgeting and reaching into her pocket over and over. Finally, she got down on one knee in front of the other woman and took out a small box, giving some speech about love and forever. The other woman began crying and shouting "yes" over and over before she'd even finished speaking, and the people around them began clapping and cheering. She'd never felt more than a passing annoyance at the little rituals humans did to or with or for each other, whichever the case may be. She'd never really had much interest in human culture at all beyond what she needed to know to feed, but today she felt something... different. She didn't like different, and she didn't like things she couldn't understand. She could feel a deep unease growing inside her chest when the two men came back, each holding a drink in either hand. They began speaking over each other, explaining each drink.

"I'm not thirsty," she said without looking up, closing her book and walking away without a second glance.

She walked across the park, typing away on her phone and then stood at the corner waiting for the ride share she ordered. She climbed in and spent the ride lost in thought, answering the driver with grunts and one word answers, hardly paying attention or bothering to feed, at least not beyond what dripped out of him even when he was ignored.

She muttered a brief thank you and made her way into the gym. She had joined and rented a locker here back when Bryan had asked to work out together, and she changed into the spare workout clothes she kept there before going through the routine they'd established when Bryan was still strong enough to work out. There was a brief pang of guilt she buried with cardio. This time, when people approached her she smiled and flirted a bit. There was no harm in topping off, after all, and this would make a good feeding ground when Bryan was... no longer available.

As the thought crossed her mind she suddenly hit the stop button on her machine and walked away while the man she had been flirting with was mid sentence. She showered quickly and left without talking to anyone else, and made her way down the street until she realized she was outside his favorite coffee shop. She went inside, ordered the same thing he'd always brought her, and found a quiet table in the back where she could sit and watch people come and go.

She sat in silent observation of everyone around her, though she wasn't sure what she was looking for anymore, or who she was even watching. When the bell over the door rang, she looked over and was a little startled to see Jenn walking in. Carmilla sat and watched her without saying anything, a feeling of annoyance and maybe a little jealousy building as she watched the easy way that Jenn interacted with humans, at the way she fit into the world around her. She was still staring at the back of her head when Jenn stiffened and turned slowly toward her.

Carmilla looked down quickly at her coffee, shrinking slightly into her chair knowing full well she'd already been noticed.

"What are you doing here? Are you stalking me now?"

She looked up at Jenn with an expression that she hoped was annoyance at the question.

"Why would I care where you go or what you do? I was here first anyway."

Jenn raised an eyebrow, surprised at the response.

"You didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

Carmilla sighed. "They happen to have his-my favorite drink here," she stumbled over the correction, and was surprised when Jenn didn't call her out.

"How do you do it?" Carmilla said, her shoulders slumping.

Jenn thought for a moment before sitting down across from her.

"Do what?"

"This," she said, gesturing around her, "how do you live so comfortably around them? Around your food? How do you have relationships with them instead of just..."

"Feeding them dry?"

Carmilla wanted to spit something back, but instead she just nodded.

"I mean I just... do. I don't think of them as food. That probably helps."

Carmilla stared for a moment but didn't say anything.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you suddenly care? Last time we talked you seemed ready to start a war just because I was in the room. I believe you referred to them as territory, now food. What does it matter how I live with them?"

Carmilla stayed quiet.

"Oh my god, don't tell me you... love him?"

She stayed silent, but her face darkened.

"Holy shit you do. You think you love him. Do you even know what that means? You're eating him and loving him at the same time?"

"Don't patronize me. Isn't that what you do?"

"I don't eat, I feed. And I leave them no worse off than I find them. Better in most cases."

"But.. how?"

"I don't take more than I need. Or they can spare. Can you even do that? Do you even know what that means?"

Carmilla pushed her chair back and stood suddenly.

"You know what? Fuck you. This was a mistake."

Jenn tried to say something after her but Carmilla was already gone, thoughts reeling.

********************

"Oooof," Bryan made a noise as he settled into the booth.

"You're making old man noises sitting down now?" Dave asked with an eyebrow raised.

Bryan waved his hand dismissively.

"I make lots of noises, let's not get caught up in them."

James shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah, but..."

"But what?"

"But you look like shit dude," Dave said bluntly.

James scowled at him but nodded and agreed.

"You have looked better."

Bryan laughed, but the sound was raspy.

"I'm fine I'm fine. Doctor says I'm okay. Besides," a slow grin spread across his face, "I have the hottest nurse, so..."

James hoped his reaction wasn't visible-he knew what Carmilla was, and it frustrated him that he couldn't do anything with the information.

Dave started to say something but James sighed and interrupted; "we haven't seen each other in I don't know how long. Let's just enjoy each other's company."

They ordered food and talked while they waited, the long absence and tension quickly fading into their familiar dynamic. James and Dave gave each other a look but didn't say anything when Bryan mostly pushed his food around, only managing a few bites before asking for a box.

Bryan pretended not to notice their expressions. James was right-he hadn't seen his friends in a long time, probably too long, and he didn't want to waste any time arguing. He would get better, Carmilla would be with him, and then they'd see they were worried about nothing.

"Okay guys, I better head out," Bryan said it while signing his check.

"You sure? We were thinking about going kayaking and then maybe doing a bar crawl later. Join us?"

Bryan thought for a moment then sighed. As fun as it sounded, he didn't think he'd have the strength for either, let alone both. Besides, he was looking forward to soup with Carmilla later.

He shook his head.

"Rain check?"

James laughed.

"Sure, I'll just stick it on the pile."

********************

Carmilla sat and drummed her fingers on the table. She was sitting at a table facing the window, the restaurant where Bryan met his friends across the street.

There was almost no way they would notice her from this far away in a crowd, and with how sharp her vision was when she was well fed and the centuries of practice she'd had she was able to read their lips easily.

Of course they'd noticed how he looked, a complete stranger would have known he wasn't feeling well, but these were people he was close to. People who presumed to know what he needed.

She stopped drumming and grabbed the edge of the table, not noticing how hard she was squeezing until the wood began to make a cracking noise.

Kayaking? Bars? In his condition? They couldn't be serious. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding until she saw him shake his head.

What did she care anyway? It's not like he was going to walk away, and how much time did he have left anyway?

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She cared because someone was messing with her food. She didn't need more reason than that.

When she saw them part ways, she left enough bills on the table to cover her check and a generous tip and walked out. She followed James and Dave, staying several people behind them and relying on her supernatural hearing to follow their conversation.

"Someone needs to say something."

Dave's voice floated back to her.

"We just did. He doesn't want to hear it."

It was James' voice this time, and she felt a surprising amount of relief at his words. Maybe these two wouldn't be a problem.

"Yeah but-"

"Dave, what exactly is your plan? If we keep pushing, all we'll do is give him a reason to disappear completely. At least now we're around."

Dave started to protest but let it go when James shook his head.

They talked a while longer, mostly about nothing, and when they walked into a nearby store she kept walking, satisfied with her reconnaissance so far. They couldn't be allowed to interfere with Bryan, but for now it didn't seem like that would be a problem.

She spent the rest of the day moving through errands and routine tasks, barely noticing the world around her, and when her alarm went off she checked her notes before calling a car and heading toward downtown. She thanked the driver and stepped out, looking up and down the street and seeing the line to get into the bar. James and Dave had mentioned this was their first stop, but she couldn't have said why she bothered to note that or why she came. Still, she was already here, and this was the perfect place for a snack to end her day.

She walked past the line to the man at the door, taking a deep breath and letting her glamour have the usual effect. The man was smiling before he looked up, and as soon as they made eye contact he pulled the rope back and welcomed her in. She felt a small rush when they made eye contact, and another when she walked past and he presumably took a moment to look at her ass. She didn't bother to hide the grin.

She saw Dave and James and made a point of keeping them just in view, reading their lips as she had at the restaurant. Their conversation wasn't particularly interesting, and neither were any of their activities, and she quickly found herself getting bored.

Just as she was about to give up, she saw Dave smile and wave someone over. A young, attractive woman ran over and threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. A moment later, Jenn stepped out of the crowd and similarly greeted James. She groaned under her breath-she had no interest in being noticed, let alone have another confrontation with Jenn. Given how little interest she'd had in them so far, she decided it was time to leave. She made her way towards the front, and was waiting for someone to move out of her way when she heard his voice from the end of the bar.

"Leaving already? You're too pretty to leave alone."

She turned slowly and saw a young man with a cocky grin on his face. He was attractive, but his expression showed a level of confidence that wasn't earned. She was about to tell him she had a boyfriend and wasn't interested but the words caught in her throat.

Boyfriend? Wasn't interested? This man was radiating so much adoration and want she could taste it in the crowd, and she was going to walk away?

'No.' The thought was clear and loud. 'I am a predator, not a housewife, and I will act like it.'

She looked him in the eye and smiled, shifting her posture slightly to accentuate her chest.

"Are you offering to be my what, chaperone? Bodyguard?"

His grin grew wider.

"I mean, definitely something with your body. Guarding can be involved."

She shook her head and began to walk away, then smiled at him over her shoulder and gave him a come hither gesture with her finger.

He practically tripped over himself following her out. She didn't bother looking as she turned into the alley, knowing full well he was behind her.

She initiated the first kiss, and before she knew it she was pressed up against the wall, his hands roaming her body as he kissed and nipped at her neck.

"Mmmmm," she hummed as she closed her eyes.

He was surprisingly good with his hands, and his desire washed over her. Men and women tended to find her attractive, but men like this always seemed to ooze devotion and adoration for her body. They made for an easy meal.

She felt his hand slide up the hem of her dress when she felt a sudden wave of unease wash over her. She was feeding plenty, sure, but it felt wrong. It was like it tasted bland, bitter.

"Wait," she said, and his hands stopped moving but his face stayed near her neck.

"What?" His voice was calm but impatient, and his breathing heavy.

"This is a mistake. I have a boyfriend." The word didn't surprise her, but the way it sounded so natural did.

"So," he said with a chuckle, "he's not here right now. I won't tell him if you don't."

"Did you really just say that?"

He stepped back and groaned, clearly frustrated.

"Listen, YOU asked ME to follow you. So are we doing this, or are you just some fucking cocktease? Because I don't need this, there are plenty of women in there who would LOVE to fuck me right now."

Her mouth broke into a smile as something cold and ancient settled in her chest.

"You're right," she said, her voice almost a purr, "we should do this. I don't know what I was thinking."

He opened his mouth to speak but stopped when she began to shift.

Her skin shifted first, paling slightly and taking on a rosy hue. Her cheeks became more defined, her eyes brighter. With the exception of her hair turning silver the physical changes were subtle, enhancing some traits and muting others, but what really struck him was the way she seemed to glow, and the warmth that he felt in it.

He dropped to his knees, tears forming in his eyes.

"Who are you?" He whispered, his voice full of awe, "what are you?"

She walked over and took his chin in her hands, tilting his head to look up at her.

"Everything you ever dreamed."

He nodded.

"Will you love me?"

Another nod.

"Adore me?"

He nodded again.

"Worship me? Give me all your devotion?"

"Yes." The word came out of his mouth as a whisper, the tears falling as she stroked his cheek.

He was so devoted, so enamored, that he didn't notice the way his muscles shrank, his posture slouched, or the way his skin wrinkled and his hair turned gray. He died on his knees, a look of pure, obedient joy on his face.

She shifted back to her human form as she walked away, wiping her lips and grinning. She took her phone out of her purse to call a car when she saw Bryan had sent her a message-it was some stupid meme of cats cuddling on a couch with the words "this could be us" underneath. She rolled her eyes at the phone and smiled, putting it away as she waited for her car.

********************

Bryan chuckled softly as he saw the read receipt come up. She didn't respond, and he didn't expect her to. This had become kind of a ritual between them-he sent her the dumbest and corniest things he could find and she would pretend not to notice until she had a chance to tease him later.

He settled more deeply into the couch, wrapping the blanket more tightly around him, and smiled when he heard a key turn in the lock. He looked up as Carmilla stepped in, somehow looking radiant even in sweatpants and a hoodie and carrying a bag. He didn't know how she always looked so good, but it was like she was glowing.

"Soup, as promised," she said, holding out the bag.

She set it on the coffee table and took out two containers with spoons and napkins. They ate soup together and laughed at absolutely nothing, and as she relaxed she finally allowed herself to admit the truth-Bryan was different. She wasn't sure what that meant, but she was done pretending.

After eating, they put on a movie and Bryan almost immediately fell asleep with his head on her lap. She pulled the blanket up to his shoulders and ran her fingers through his hair. She watched him sleep and then nodded as she made the decision that she'd been circling all day. She wasn't sure what these new feelings were or what they meant, but she knew one thing for sure-Bryan was hers. All hers. Only hers, and she would protect him from anything that could hurt him or take him away. Or anyone.