Requiem

I am dying. The doctors say I have maybe two maybe three weeks to live. They say I must get my affairs in order.

Now being a disorganized person such a project would normally be an impossible task.

Aside from anything else I would not have any idea where to start. There is however one affair which unusually for me is in order but which I do believe needs to be documented so that my kids will read it when I am dead and maybe forgive me for my butterfly presence in their lives.

So what follows is my attempt to not only explain myself to them but possibly to gain some understanding of myself and my place in their lives.

I am a rock musician and believe me, I look the part. Long, black hair that hangs to my waist, colourful eccentric clothing, tattoos and skin hammered by the excessive use of recreational chemicals.

Actually when I was young my hair was long and black. Now? It is grey and thinning rapidly.

I always explain my fucked appearance on a life well lived. The only problem with that explanation is how you define the word well and maybe indulgently would be a better choice of a word.

Before you start trying to figure out which famous rock star I am let me disabuse you of that idea. I am a second or even third rate musician/songwriter.

I make my living not from music but from the IT industry where I am venerated as a guru. Again I am sailing under a false flag. I may appear to be genius level IT practitioner but in reality I have been around so long that to put it in a colleague's words I know where all the bodies are buried.

This story starts one night when the band I was in were playing at a rough and tumble out door pub that some how managed to survive on the edge of an upmarket suburb. Eventually the whiff of sex and drugs and rock and roll caused such a barrage of complaints from the neighbours forced the city fathers (and mothers) to close the place down.

When playing in a band you get to see everything and I do mean everything that goes on on the dance floor.

I have seen hand jobs and full penetrative sex from the stage so next time you get really drunk and the person you are with is equally drunk and you decide that no one will see your hand in his or her pants do be aware that the band is watching.

So, to get back to my story It was reasonably early and the crowd were also reasonably sober when I noticed a woman who moved like a wisp of smoke dancing with a group of friends. Golden, curly hair that hung down to her backside, long, thin face, apple sized and shaped breasts, and curves in all the right places. I was mesmerized.

"She fancies you!" Ryan the lead guitarist said to during a short break."

"Who does?"

"Aw, cummon the golden haired beauty that you've been ogling for the last 30 minutes."

"I think I might just stroll over to her during the next break."

"So long as you fuck her quick enough to be back for the last set."

"I shall take her home after the show and make her bells ring."

Ryan just nodded and moved away to help with the harmony.

If you think I was being overly confident about getting into the golden woman I was not. I have a certain something that makes me pretty irresistible to women. And men too but that is not germane to this story.

So during the break before the last set I went over to her.

"You dance like smoke! So beautiful!"

"Hi Geoff! You look real good on-stage!"

"Thanks! And your name?"

"Angela, but not an angel."

"You want to prove that after the show?"

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me with a mouth that tasted of cinnamon.

"I think that might be a very good idea."

We chatted until Ryan started making come back gestures.

"Pick you up after?"

"Can't wait!" she said, followed up by another cinnamon kiss.

====

She let me into her flat and in the entrance hall she wrapped her arms around me, mouth open and legs spread wide.

"Take your angel now." she whispered.

It sounded so practised that I must admit that I briefly wondered if she said this quite often. I didn't let the thought stop me though. I picked her up and carried her to her bed, spread her legs and applied my skilled tongue to her pussy. She tasted there of salt and vinegar chips meaning I'd not given her time to wash or as women normally say clean up.

"Please! Please stop!" she sounded desperate.

"You OK?" I ask surprised.

"No. I am sorry. Please leave. Now!" Tears in her eyes.

I look at the beautiful woman lying in front of me.

"You sure? You want me to leave?" I ask hopefully.

"Yes. Sorry. Please. Leave." all if comes out in a desperate rush.

Not much to say to that now is there? So I turn and walk out, closing the door quietly behind me.

Now seriously aroused, I head to my favourite pick up joint where I am pretty confident that I will score a quickie.

It is well after midnight when I walk in and the place is pumping and people are making almost as much noise as the music.

I grab a beer and settle on a stool at the bar watching the movement of people in the mirror behind the bar. It does not take long before Cecy arrives. Cecilia is her full name but she hates the name so Cecy is the name she goes by.

"Hi Stranger. You didn't score at the gig tonight? I saw you chatting to a lovely lady at one stage. She turn you down?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"I thought she might and I also thought you would end up here. Right on both counts. I am so very good at predicting the future."

"Buy you a drink?"

"Coke please!"

"So predictable! And I suppose that you will lie back and let me arouse you after that?"

"You are so crude! I get to suck your cock first. Not the other way around. Cummon, drink up that beer, I've been waiting nearly two hours for you to dump the blonde and come here."

====

I park my car in a remote car park overlooking False Bay, Cecy wraps her mouth around my cock and, as usual she makes me cum in her throat fast.

"Now. Having gotten rid of your hard-on for the moment, you owe me an orgasm. Go to it."

"Back seat woman!"

"Oh, my. We getting all fancy now? You confusing me with the blonde?"

All the nonsense does not stop her getting into the back seat of my car and sliding her slacks down.

"Eat my pussy!" she says happily.

And so I am back to tickling a clitoris with my well trained tongue. I slide some fingers into her making her buck and writhe, with her hands on my head.

"Don't stop. Don't stop! Fuck!"

I keep on going knowing that she is well on the way to letting me inside her hot wet pussy.

"NOW! Fuck me!"

And so I swing myself over her and thrust my cock into her.

"Ah! Yes!"

The car rocks and creaks as I slam my body into Cecy's not inconsiderable body.

I am in no hurry so Cecy is well on her way to cumming when I start losing my control.

"Don't you fucking cum before me!" Cecy gasps.

I cling onto my control until I feel the unmistakeable signs that Cecy is about to cum and then I allow myself to hammer uncontrollably on her, knowing she enjoys that.

"Yes. Now! Fuck! Now!" Cecy shouting instructions at me as she cums. I obey her instructions and dump a load in her.

We lie entangled for a while before she gives me a push.

"Get off you big, ugly bastard!"

"No thank you? No gentle loving kiss? I am shocked, stunned and not a little amazed."

"Stop quoting Billy Connelly and take me home to my loving husband."

We drive back to her block of flats, she kisses me on the mouth and gets out of the car.

"You are a fucking difficult act to follow. You know that? Of course you do. That is why you know you can pick me up and fuck me at any time of day or night you want. Bastard!"

She blows me a kiss and is gone.

====

We are setting up for a gig at a beer festival when Judy our road manager arrives.

"Some woman called Angela is looking for you. Can I give her your number?"

I pause to think about it.

"She says she is embarrassed about standing you up. Says you were a perfect gentleman about it and that she is very sorry. I think she might just want a rematch."

"Yes. Please give her my number."

"This is the golden blonde from the other night? You didn't score that night? That must have been upsetting."

"No. I did score, but not with Angela."

Judy just nods and sends my number and within minutes my phone pings.

Angela > Hi Geoff. Angela.

Me > Hi Not Angel. What can I do for you?

Angela > Can we have a rematch? I made a fool of myself the other night.

Me > No, you didn't make a fool of yourself the other night. You just got cold feet and that is completely allowable. Only once though! Haha

Angela > Thank you. I do learn from my mistakes.

Me > I am free tomorrow evening. Pick you up at 7 and we go for dinner?

Angela > Dinner on you and the rest of the night on me?

Me > Do wear socks tomorrow night.

Angela > Nasty. No I will not get cold feet.

====

I pick her up the next evening and she is even more beautiful than I remembered from the other evening.

The evening is gentle, friendly and promising. Angela flirts just enough to reassure me that she is sufficiently interested in me that she will not get cold feet again.

She invites me up to her flat, but this time I am more cautious and I let her make the running.

Coffee laced with Van Der Hum on the couch with the lights dimmed to a point where there is almost more street light coming in the window than from the inside lights.

Angela slides up closer to me and rests her head on my shoulder. She smells musky and when I look down at her she tilts her head and we kiss. Again she tastes of cinnamon. She wraps her arms around my neck, leaving her body open to my hands and soon I am gently caressing her apple breasts, her nipples pressing against the palm of my hand.

Her breathing becomes fast and ragged. As her arms tighten around my neck I slide my hand down over her belly and down between her legs.

"Oh." soft, whisper.

I run my fingers up and down the shape of her pussy that I can feel through her slacks.

"Undo them." she whispers so I loosen her pants, push her panties to one side and slide a finger down her slit till I find her wetness. I collect a bit of her wetness on my finger and slide my finger up again till I find her clit. I know I have done things right because her body arches against me.

Gentle stroking her clit pays off as she suddenly lets go of me and pulls her slacks and panties off and kicks them away from her feet.

I slide a finger into her and keep gently manipulating her clit.

"Yes. Now." she says so I slide between her legs and rest my cock against her naked wet pussy.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Yes. Yes! Yes!"

And I slide into her tight, wet and hot pussy. The feeling nearly pushes me over into a very premature cumming, but I grab control and keep on banging away.

She has her legs tightly wrapped around my hips, her heels drumming against my backside.

I keep on pounding into her until I can no longer control myself and I try to pull out of her.

"No. No. NO! Cum in me. Please."

And that is what I do and we find ourselves half on and half off the couch.

She pushes me away.

"Come to bed with me. And get undressed so I can taste your body."

We spend the night together. Making love, talking and laughing. She is very special and totally different from anyone I have been with before and I am more entangled than I have ever been before

We agree to meet up soon, but somehow that never happens. I phone her, but she is busy, she phones me and I miss her call. Then the band gets a support contract and we are out of town for nearly three months. Angela and I somehow slip further and further apart with groupies filling in for me.

====

A month after I get back from touring, we agree to meet and that is where things start to get peculiar.

We meet in a coffee bar. I am on time. Angela? She is nearly an hour late but that is not the really important thing. The important thing is that the moment I see her I realise that she is pregnant.

"Who is the lucky man?" I ask.

"You." she says looking happy.

"Me? One night? And you are pregnant?"

"It only takes one happy sperm to do the deed. And you gave me lots of sperm to choose from. You are a big cummer. You do know that don't you?"

"You told me to cum in you. You didn't warn me you were fertile and unprotected?"

"No. Then you would have run like hell. I know your type. Fuck them, then leave them."

"You want child support?"

"No. I want marriage."

"No. I will support the child, but nothing more. I can't trust you after this."

And of course she bursts into tears and what do I do? I did what any man does when a woman bursts into tears. I capitulate and agree to marry her.

We marry. A civil ceremony and she moves in with me. I am still resentful about her trickery but I go along with the arrangement.

I do much more band work and I visit Cecy regularly who thinks the whole thing is hugely amusing which doesn't please me.

"What do you expect? You make yourself completely irreplaceable and then you want to wander off? Fuck. Sensible woman. If I wasn't married I would have done the same to you years ago."

Things change dramatically for me. One thing that I find is that pregnant women are incredibly horny and Angela cannot get enough of my cock so I find myself servicing her pussy daily, if not more often.

And then I discover the taste of mother's milk and I am hooked. I feed on her breasts which ooze the tasty milk and as I suck on her, she becomes aroused and we end up fucking again and again.

I still resent her trickery of me and I eye the door occasionally and wonder for how long I can stick it out.

And then? And then baby Wendy arrives and I fall totally in love with my daughter which means that I am locked into the marriage. Not because of Angela but because of Wendy my beautiful daughter.

I play with Wendy, I change her nappies, I feed her and adore her. I still feed on her mother's milk but more carefully now to ensure that there is always enough food for the tiny tyrant.

It is after Wendy's second birthday party that what I should have known was going to happen happened.

"I am pregnant."

"Maybe you should have discussed this with me before you got pregnant again."

"Ah, you were so besotted with Wendy that I thought you would be happy. And if you think about it, there will be more milk for you to drink and lots of follow up sex. What more could you ask?"

"I could ask for some say in your family aspirations."

"Oh, I am so sorry. I just thought."

And the tears come and I am lost again.

I suckle on Angela's prodigious breasts which have grown, the effects of motherhood I guess and of course I score from her increased horniness.

And then Baby Brian is born and he is just a lovable as Wendy and once again I fall in love with our new baby and the possibility of leaving Angela becomes even more distant.

Wendy is now a terrible two with all the tantrums and tyranny moves but I survive and even possibly thrive on the challenge of a new baby as well as a growing toddler.

It is nearly three years after Brian is born when Angela announces that she is pregnant again. Again without consulting me and again I drink her milk and score from her increased sex drive.

In due course, sweet little Michelle is born and I simply sweep her up into my flock of adorable children. Some weeks after Michelle is born I sit Angela down for a serious chat.

"There is one small problem." I say to her.

"What could that be?"

"Simply that during your pregnancy with Brian, I went off and had a vasectomy. There is no way that I could have made you pregnant again. Michelle is not my child and neither is Brian. I had a paternity test done on Brian and he is not my child. I love him accept him, but he is someone else's child."

"You bastard! You utter stinking bastard. Trying to escape your responsibilities! I will make sure you have nothing more to do with my children."

I note the word my in that sentence with a lot of sadness. Wendy, Brian and Michelle were my children and I have loved them from the start and I still do.

====

"I have been to see a divorce lawyer!" Angela in full sneer mode "And she says that she can get me a settlement whereby you support the children but have no right of access to them!"

Of course I consult an expensive divorce lawyer.

"This will not stand up in court!" he says "We will make visitation rights an order of the court."

I buy Cecy dinner and I tell her the story.

"The battle between parents can be awful for the kids." she says after some thought.

"I know this. Maybe I just need to be the vagrant parent that Angela wants them to believe I am. It will save them the pain of seeing us fight each other publicly."

"You will lose contact with them in their growing up."

"Maybe they will come to find me after they leave home?"

"It depends on what Angela tells them about you. You may never see them again."

And I am not sure what Angela tells my beloved children but when we do meet they are cautious and subdued which makes me terribly sad.

And I keep on paying maintenance making sure that they attend the best schools that I can afford and that they go to university and are educated in disciplines of their choice.

Angela of course tells them that I am just an irresponsible father, a drug addict and a ne'er do well.

I am not sure how she balances their support and education with the bum she paints me to be so I ask her

"How do you explain my support for them? The money that sends them to university and on fancy holidays?"

"I tell them it is you father, who is so embarrassed by you that he supports them"

I just shake my head and walk away.

So: Wendy, Brian and Michelle this is the reason I was such a vagrant parent all your lives.

You can easily prove it by doing paternity tests, but you know? It isn't worth it because you have all grown up to be good, solid decent people and that in the end is all that matters.

I hope you will understand and, if possible remember me kindly.