The New Me - Ch. 03

Authors note:

Thank you for your support so far, I have read the comments left and it has made me feel proud of what I have created. Just a reminder this is totally fictional and any resemblance to real life people is completely coincidental.

I have been at loggerheads with myself over how much sex to include. I am aware I am posting on Literotica so I added some in the previous chapter. However, that is not how the rest of the chapters will go. I want this to be a slow burn as close to real life as possible; there will be sex but this will be later. I am aiming to write a chapter a week.

Chapter 3 -- The Voice Behind the Curtain

The boy lay on the ground covering his head, tears and blood streaked his face. The older boy stood over him leering and taunting him as his cronies stood laughing behind him. The cold shower room where they were felt too small, the 5 bodies taking up all the space. The dripping of the showers which had just been turned off broke through some of the nasty remarks being spoken. I stood there frozen; not being able to find the courage to say or do anything.

"Fucking queer, watching me in the shower," the older boy sneered. "I'll teach you to perv on us!" His foot raised and then lowered sharply kicking the boy again.

"I wasn't! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" The boy writhed in pain while the cronies laughed.

"You enjoying the show?" The boy turned and snarled at me. I freaked out and ran. I ran downstairs to find an adult. I didn't know what to say. It was my first day here at this home and I didn't want to make any enemies. I found an adult and told them a boy had slipped in the shower room and I think I saw blood. She went flying upstairs to see what had happened.

"I slipped! I am fine I just need some rest," the boy from the ground was saying to the woman I had sent up, "I just want to go to bed."

"He is not sleeping in my room the dirty faggot!" The voice from the older boy bellowed.

"That is enough Ryan! That language is not acceptable," the woman replied without any real conviction behind the words. "But to stop any other nastiness Ryan you can swap with the new boy."

I walked up the stairs into the middle of this just as she said new boy, meaning me. "Ah Luca, sorry but we need you to swap rooms. I didn't think you would mind since you've just arrived."

I just smiled and retrieved my bag I hadn't even unpacked yet and was shown to my new room sharing with Martin.

"Are you ok?" I asked seeing him wince getting into bed.

"Yeah, I will live," he replied, "Thank you for getting Hetty. Think Ryan would have killed me if she hadn't arrived. Well, I am gonna sleep today off. Night"

****

Beeping, whispers and soft footsteps brought me back to reality. My eyes opened but felt incredibly heavy. The fluorescent lights flooded my senses and I scrunched my eyes hoping the lights would disappear. I could hear chairs scraping and people saying goodbye. I managed to lift my arm to see my watch. It was 11am, end of visitor time.

"See you tomorrow, honey, love you," a woman was saying on the other side of the curtain.

"Love you too mam, see you tomorrow." The voice from last night replied.

As I lay there taking in my surroundings, the nurses started their rounds checking all the equipment giving out medications if needed and just a general making sure everyone is ok.

The curtain at the front of my bed was tentatively pulled back, a different nurse stood there. "Good you're awake, how is the pain?" She asked.

"Erm, aching but bearable."

"Good, we are going to give a slightly smaller doses as we don't want you relying on the medication and we can then also find out if anywhere else if hurting," she continued. "Lunch will be served at 12, call if you need anything." With that she hurried out, she left the curtain closed which was slightly disappointing as I would have liked to see the other people on the ward and maybe spoke to them.

"How are you feeling today? By what I might have accidently overheard sounds like you were beaten up badly." The voice spoke, "Genuinely, can't help but overhear, these curtains aren't exactly soundproof, I did try not to listen, but I was bored."

"Erm, aching and feeling sorry for myself. No worries, I kinda wish they would pull the curtains back it's a bit bland staring at the curtains."

"Those curtains are broke, well the ones between us. Just as well the guy before you was a right nutcase. Anyways, I am Riley, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you to, I'm Luca. What you in for?" I replied.

"Ah, nasty infection. Some long name I have no idea how to pronounce. I want to go yem but they won't let me out on my own and there ain't no way I am going to the parents," he laughed as he said this.

Being back in Newcastle for 6 months had helped me regain my knowledge of Geordie slang. Yem meaning home. It was somewhat nice hearing it again. I missed it when I moved away at 18 after the incident.

"Awww that sound's bad, you in any pain?" I asked.

"Nah, feel canny, apparently my body is really fighting, they said the antibiotics are working so should be out of here soon," you could here the smile in his voice as he said this.

We started chatting about everything just to pass time. He had paid for the TV to watch but I hadn't so he was kind enough to listen and talk.

Our conversation was interrupted by the lunch trolley. Me being a picky eater knew I wouldn't eat much and with my sore face I didn't expect to my able to chew. They brought some soup thing and bread and jelly for dessert. I managed a few sips of the soup which was some vegetable concoction. I manged the bread and some of the jelly. I just wasn't in the mood for eating.

As I was finishing the curtains moved and the two policemen from the day before entered.

"Afternoon Luca, we wondered if we could speak to you again," PC Dodds began, "The first 24 hours is critical in finding as much information as possible."

"Yeah, that is fine," I replied, wanting to help them find whoever did this.

"We just wanted to see if you remembered anymore information about what happened? We know you were walking home and then you felt something hit your head. You then passed out and woke up here. Can you recall anything else?" PC Collins asked.

I lay there wracking my brain for some snippet of information which may help. "Actually, I do remember something else," I could feel my face going red from a mixture of embarrassment and anger. "I remember someone shouting there's the er, erm, the," I mouth closed and my eyes watered. "They said there's the faggot," I let out a breath steadying myself.

The Police let me talk without interrupted. PC Collins sat down next to me trying to make me feel less intimidated. That word caused me so much pain.

"I think they called me that when I was attacked, I can vaguely remember hearing them say it," I managed to get the rest out.

"They? There was definitely more than one? If they called you that this will now be classed as a hate crime," PC Dodds said as he wrote down everything. He was very by the book and his 'bedside manner' needed some work.

My eyes went wide. Hate crime.

PC Collins saw my face. "It doesn't matter if you are gay or not. The fact the words were used automatically make it homophobia and it is a hate crime. It would be the same if they attacked you because they thought you were disabled, you aren't but that wouldn't matter." My face relaxed at these words.

"Good, cos I am not gay..." I said trying to believe it.

PC Collins smiled, "Nothing will change how we conduct the investigation. Now we know it could have been a hate crime we need to ask. Did they harm you sexually? How many were there?"

"No, I don't think they did," That question threw me, "I can't say for certain but maybe 2 or 3."

"How do you know?" PC Collins probed. I noticed how suddenly, he was taking charge instead of PC Dodds, he smiled at me which did seem to put me at ease.

"I am certain that I heard 2 maybe 3 different voices saying those words," I shuddered saying it, I could not bring myself to say the words they called me. "I am sorry that is all I can remember."

"Excellent, thank you for your help. Here is my card, if you think of anything else, please get in touch." PC Dodds had already smiled and left as PC Collins started to stand. "It is ok being gay you know," he looked at me with the eyes of someone who knew your darkest secrets. His hazel eyes seemed to stare into my soul and he kept his reassuring smile focused on me. "It's not how it used to be, still a way to go before it's totally accepted but lots better than even a few decades ago. There wouldn't have a been an openly gay police officer back then." With that bombshell he winked and left me to the thoughts now racing in my head.

****

"Nah, Matt Smith is the best!" Riley exclaimed, "he brought so much to the role. He was fun and brought new people in to watch!"

"You could not be more wrong! David Tennent is the best Doctor of all time, or at least of the New Who generation. I didn't watch Tom Baker, but all the older fans loved him."

This was unusual for me, I was having a conversation with a stranger and I felt relaxed. The old me would have given one-word answers or attempted to get out of the conversation, but the new me needed to try and connect to people. Something good may come out of it.

I am 36 and have 1 friend, one person who I could call and speak to. One. No family. No other friends. Just Martin and we had only just reconnected after a long period of not talking. I have spent my entire life shut off and not willing to let people in. Yes, some things have happened which justify my feelings, but I can't live my whole life without a support structure. I need to find people I can rely on and the only way to do that is by trying. College, university, jobs even neighbours I never tried, I kept my distance just in case they hurt me.

"Ok controversial," Riley started to say, "River Song was the best companion without being a full-time companion."

"I totally agree her story arc was the greatest plot of all!" I smiled remembering how many times I had spent rewatching Doctor Who. I had never talked to anyone about it though.

"It's crazy how much we have in common," Riley laughed, "If only my exes shared my passions, they might not be exes."

I didn't want the subject of exes to be a thing since I didn't have any so quickly moved the conversation on. "I heard your mam here before, does she come every day?"

"Yeah, she is worried. My dad isn't the emotional type, but I know he cares," Riley didn't sound like he believed what he said. "Lynne comes to see me when they can, anyways what about you?"

"I don't know anyone up here except my friend Martin who I've known since I was a teenager, no family. I told Martin to come by tomorrow instead of today as I figured I would need some time to rest. He has been good he is letting me sleep on his settee while I find a place." The information seemed to just flow.

Normally, I wouldn't share my personal situation but talking to someone behind a curtain gave me some anonymity.

I did notice how he mentioned Lynne but quickly moved on. Must be his girlfriend. But that wasn't for me to think about I did need to focus on myself.

I did start to worry after saying it out loud; sleeping on a settee is not going to be fun when I finally get out of here.

"You not from around here then?" Riley had picked up on what I said.

"Originally, yes. I moved down south when I went to university. Just decided the time was right to come back the Newcastle; to be honest I have missed it. Wasn't expecting this welcome though..." I said honestly.

"Ah, yeah that's shit like. Hopefully won't put you off staying here. You got yourself a job then?" Riley really was nebby, but I was in a good mood so didn't mind.

"Yeah, but it's only part time at Morrisons, I am trying to find something better but a degree in history isn't really helping," I laughed weakly, remembering the reason for the degree. To start a new life somewhere new, get away after everything that had happened. Yet, my life still turned out lonely and crap and back where I started.

"Least you went to university, I went straight into work. Though done well for myself now, an architect -- did it unconventionally though it's my dad's business so started at the bottom and made my way up getting my degree from night schools. Dad's happy I am following in his footsteps which is good." He sighed, "I wanted the uni life, gannin out with me mates, getting pissed, no cares. But I can't complain, got a good life."

"Are you happy?" What did I just ask? Why would I say that? I had picked up on him saying his dad was happy but at no point had he said he was happy. I knew I said the wrong thing. He took an age to reply.

"Hmm, yeah I am," he replied, "Anyways, I am gonna get some rest."

"No worries," I replied, I knew I had gone too far; his reaction had said everything. So much for the new me. I stupidly thought I had met someone who I could be friends with then ruined it all by asking a stupid question. What is wrong with me?

I lay there regretting much but not being able to do anything about it. My mind wandered images flashing in my mind. My parents shouting and arguing when I was 4 years old. Different foster care placements ending in failure. Martin lying in the shower room floor. The incident that happened when I was 18. The year of moving from one place to another, the jobs that didn't work out. The feeling on loneliness. I needed to try more; I needed to get better. I needed to say sorry to Riley. I needed to have a proper talk with Martin. The past may be in the past, but it still needs to be addressed. My mind went from one thing to another. I closed my eyes willing for it to stop.

To be continued.