My Eye Opening Pt. 01

I grew up in a conservative home. My parents got along well, didn't smoke, rarely drank, and didn't party. Dad worked full time and mom part time so she could be home with me more. I am an only child and I was never told if that was intentional or they just couldn't have any more. They attended my school events and we went on a couple of vacations a year and all that 'traditional family' stuff. I never saw them fight, but I also never saw them show any affection to each other, and I don't mean having sex, but never even saw the little things like holding hands or hugging or anything like that.

I grew up in their footsteps. I didn't party, didn't do any wild and crazy things, and dated one guy all through school. We sometimes kissed but never more than that. After graduating and starting college we got married when I was 19. That's when I lost my virginity. We both are studious and he ended up a lawyer, after passing the bar exam he kept taking classes because he wanted to get into corporate law where, as he always said, 'the big money is'. I became a nurse and after getting my license kept taking classes to get advanced degree's. He became very materialistic and made sure we had nice things. We bought a home bigger than we needed, each a new sports car, nice clothes, all the 'flashy' things. But like my parents, what we didn't have was passion and romance. We had sex once a week, after dark, missionary, and that was about it. Once in a great while we would have sex when it was still daylight and thought that was being wild. Also once in a great while I would give him oral sex and while that was fun while we were doing it as soon as he came he would tell me to go rinse my mouth and brush my teeth before he would kiss me goodnight.

In hindsight our marriage was boring and I feel it was dysfunctional in some ways. But never having seen differently I thought we had a good thing going and was content with it, and probably still would be to this day if things hadn't change in a hurry. When I was 29 he came home one day and said we needed to talk. Long story short he said marriage wasn't what he thought and he wanted a divorce. It wasn't until later that I realized that the real issue was he wanted a woman to take to the fancy dinner parties and things that would help him move up the corporate ladder. I'm a girl next door type, small breasts (32b), brownish/reddish hair, skinny legs, fairly flat butt although very toned from all the running I do. I later saw pictures of his new wife who was a fashion model, and I'll stop at that.

In hind sight it was the best thing to happen to me, but at the time I was devastated. I cried, I blamed myself, I wondered what I did wrong. I had my job and my running and my love of reading to get me through, but not much else. After work sitting at home got boring. All of this was about the time that personal computers and the internet were becoming a thing. I decided to buy a computer to help pass the time. It was slow back then, but I would surf the net reading anything interesting. One day I saw an ad for sex stories. I'd always loved reading romance novels like harlequin romance books so I clicked on the link. Wow, the story list there was quite explicit. At first I was shocked, would start to read some of the very detailed stories then turn it off and go find something else to do because I was literally embarrassed. But my mind kept going back to the stories so I'd go back, log on, and read some more.

Over time I wasn't getting embarrassed at reading them, instead was getting horny in a way I never had before. I also started touching myself while reading them. I had seriously never masturbated in my life until then and at first I was clumsy at it. So I searched and found some articles on how to masturbate. OK, I never dreamed that there were so many ways lol. But the main thing I got out of it was that it's your own pleasure so do whatever is making you feel good and have no guilty feelings for it. I started making it routine to get naked in front of the computer while reading sex stories and rubbing myself. Here I was in my early 30's getting my sex education from online stories. I was stunned to read that men would kiss a woman after she'd blown him even if she still had his cum in her mouth. And I was shocked that anal sex was a thing. And threesomes and moresomes. And other things.

One day I decided that I needed a sex toy. I'd read so many stories that involved vibrators and dildo's. So how to get one. I could mail order something, or I could go to an adult store and buy something. I opted for the store. I found one in a nearby town, didn't want to go to one close to home and risk someone from work seeing me, which was highly unlikely but why take a chance. The day came. I drove there, following the directions I'd written down (this was before navigation systems). I drove by slow and looked. It was a small run down building with no windows and lots of posters saying things like 'novelties' and xxx and things. I drove past. Once down the street I pulled over and took some deep breaths. I couldn't go in a place like that. But I wanted a dildo or vibrator. I convinced myself just go in quickly, find what I want and get out and if anyone asked I was buying it as a gift for a friend. I turned the car around.

I pulled into the parking lot and noticed several cars there. One had just pulled in before me and two giggling college-aged women were going in. Ok I felt a little safer so before I could change my mind I got out of the car and went quickly inside. The first thing I noticed was it was dimly lit. I was in a small store with a counter with register on the left and the rest of the store had shelves of all kinds of things. The second thing I noticed was a door on the far side that said private booths and theater. There was an old man sitting near the cash register, and the two ladies looking at some lingerie. I began to walk on shaking legs through the aisles until I saw on the back wall more vibrators and dildo's than I would've imagined existed. I stopped and stared. They were all shapes, sizes, and designs. Black ones, white ones, pink ones, ones that looked like animals, one's that were shaped like a hand/arm. Some were double ended. Some realistic. My gaze went from one to the next. I was still a bit scared from just being in here, but I also noticed that my nipples were starting to get hard. I noticed one dildo that looked so real and like it would be perfect size for me, it even had realistic looking balls. But I had kind of been thinking more of a vibrator and there was this smooth pink plastic one that advertised multiple speeds for all the pleasure you could want. I grabbed that one, taking one last look at the realistic one, then turned and went to the counter.

I walked up to pay for it blushing and with trembling arms and legs. It was obvious I was embarrassed. The man took the package, punched in the price on the register, then asked if I'd found everything ok. I was shocked. My imagination had me thinking Satan was in these places but here was two regular girls and a sincere sounding older man instead. I said I had with a shaky voice, adding that it was a gift for a friend. He smiled and said "Well, maybe, but I'm thinking you're divorced and having urges, and believe this old man when he say's that this is a much better choice than getting picked up by God knows who in a bar. Now go enjoy yourself". I stood there staring at him. His bluntness made me feel so much better about all of this. Visiting a store like this, having to resort to a sex toy, I had been feeling kind of ashamed until now, but suddenly I felt like I was waking up and coming alive and in a sexual way. I smiled at him, thanked him, and left the store at a leisurely stroll.

For the first time in my life I sped. Thankfully I didn't get stopped by the police, I had important things to do at home. My nipples were hard as rocks and my pussy was wet. I wheeled into my driveway and practically ran into the house. As soon as I was through the door I started stripping as I headed to the spare room where I had my computer. I turned on the computer and while it was warming up I finished getting naked. Then I grabbed the package and yeh, right, it was packaged in that plastic that you need dynamite to open. I scampered to the kitchen to get my scissors. Rushing back I got the damn package open with trembling fingers. I quickly skimmed the instructions and it said you just turn the knob at the end and it starts. I turned the knob and nothing happened. UGH!!!! So I sat down, settled down a bit and read the directions closer. Oh, yeh, it needs batteries lol. Of course it said 'batteries not included'. I whimpered. Now what. I once again left that room and went to my bedroom where I keep a flashlight. I took the batteries out but only then realized the batteries were the wrong size. Ok, settling down again and thinking where I might have some AA batteries. I hated the thought of getting redressed to go to the store for batteries, then I remembered the little flashlight I carry at work for shining in people's eyes used AA batteries. I flew to the drawer where I keep my nursing things and grabbed that light. I got the batteries out of it and headed back to the 'sex room' as I had started to think of it. OH joy, they fit. I held the pink plastic dream in one hand, turned the knob with the other, and yipped with surprise when it started vibrating immediately.

I sat down, breathing hard, now I was really getting excited. My skin was flushed, a little with embarrassment, a little with anticipation. I pulled up a story site, one that had some images in the story matching the scene. I leaned back in the chair and touched the vibrator to my right nipple. My whole body stiffened. Suddenly embarrassment was gone and lust was consuming me. I wanted this thing touching me everywhere. But I couldn't wait to see what it felt like inside me too. I trailed it down between my breasts, across my stomach, and to my clit. My body instantly spasmed, my toes splayed, and an unsuspecting orgasm rocketed through me. I held it there with one hand, rubbing and squeezing my left breast with my other hand, and had my first toy-induced orgasm and it was awesome.

As my orgasm ended the vibrator slipped from my hand and I just kind of went limp for a few minutes enjoying the post-orgasmic blissful feelings. Eventually I picked it up. It was still running. I now was a bit more calm and started playing with it. It had different settings. It vibrated harder or softer, faster or slower, it was perfect. I surfed through the story titles until I found one that matched what I was doing and settled back again. Now I took my time and ran it over my body slowly, feeling myself getting more aroused as I did. My nipples had never really un-stiffened but now got rock hard again. So did my clit. I moved it down to my pussy, this time I teased myself with the tip, slowly working it inside. I thought I might need some lube but I didn't. I was making plenty of my own. Finally I was in that zone again and I just shoved the thing in and started working it in and out. Somewhere inside me it was occasionally hitting an extra good feeling spot. In the story I was reading the woman was doing something similar. I tried to focus on the story but after a while that didn't work and I closed my eyes, my head kind of went back in a sign of giving in to my feelings, and another orgasm washed over and through me. This one went on and on because that vibrator was inside and didn't stop. I actually had several orgasms one after the other and was feeling so giddy I went limp and the toy slid from me plopping onto the floor again. After several minutes of sitting there covered in sweat, feeling sore and exhausted, I picked up the vibrator and turned it off, then made my way on unsteady legs to my bedroom and collapsed onto my bed and fell into a slumber that lasted several hours.

Over the next several weeks I was insatiable. When I wasn't at work or out jogging I was getting my money's worth out of that vibrator. The anticipation, arousal, and orgasms would put me in a zone for hours sometimes. During those times, for the first time since my husband had crushed me, I was able to completely not think about that. Actually during those 'zones' the house could've blown up and I wouldn't have known. I began having fantasies. Although I didn't have a lot of real experience to base them on, I mean nothing to fantasize about from my married years, but I started imagining some rather sexual things involving occasional comments I hear in the park when I'm jogging and also about that nice old man in the adult store while making that little vibrator work overtime. I used it on every part of my body. I mean, behind my ears, my neck, my mouth (I would suck on it), my arms, legs, belly breasts and pussy. I was rapidly learning about erogenous zones and finding mine. Over time though my mind started wandering back to that adult store. First I couldn't stop thinking about how being there amongst all that sex paraphernalia had made me aroused. Second the way the people hadn't been horrible like I had anticipated, and third, that realistic dildo that had caught my eye. Soon I just might have to head back there to get that and maybe linger a bit longer and see what else was there.