The Chemistry Lab

It was a typical day in the lab until it wasn't. I was peering into the microscope at something bizarre. What is it?

My name is Austin. At age 31, I've been employed by this pharmaceutical lab since completing my master's degree six years ago.

I get along well with my colleagues Randy, Jon and Marie. We engage in small talk often and have come to know about each other's lives outside of work. In any workplace, there's one colleague who is barely tolerable. In this case, that person is Seth Coontz. I wouldn't miss him if he left the company. I am getting tired of him taking credit for my work and my findings. He's quite the narcissistic SOB.

Is the substance water soluable? There's one way to find out.

At 9ish that morning I put a teaspoon into a cup of water stirred it and observed the reaction. Why does it turn the water pink? Would it taste anything like pink grapefruit juice? Maybe it has no taste. In any case, it's meant for mass consumption.

Never expecting such bizarre effects, I drank it quickly. It had a bitter sweet taste. For the next few minutes I would be unable to concentrate on work.

Within twenty seconds a sharp pain in my chest made me clutch my right nipple. The sensation lasted 30 seconds that seemed like eternity. Meanwhile I could feel other changes happening. My waist felt like it was being squeezed and my hips widening. I looked down. Large mounds blocked the view of my feet.

What else happeed to me? I held my hands in front of my face. They were noticeably smaller and more delicate looking. I slid a finger along my upper arm. It felt softer. My face felt smoother and my cheeks puffier. Desperate to actually see the changes that happened, I dashed to the nearest mirror. A very feminine face stared back at me. Its jaw had narrowed and the brow ridge flattened.

HOLLY CRAP. I'M A WOMAN. THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM.

I hid inside the closest stall only to get out of my suddenly ill-fitting clothes. OH my god, I'm in the body of a woman. Even my penis is gone.

Now what should I do? Maybe I can borrow something, but from whom?

Wearing the lab coat to conceal ill-fitting male clothes, I paid a visit to my friend Randy at his workbench.

Having heard my footsteps, he swiveled the chair 180 degrees

"Can I help you, Ms?"

"Randy, it's ME, Austin. Can't you tell?"

A look of confusion on his face made me worried. It meant that no colleague would recognize me.

Think quickly. Tell him something only Austin would know.

"Your birthday is June 25. You'll turn 32. Your mom's name is Sarah."

"AUSTIN? What happened?"

"I drank something at my bench just to sample it. It made this happen." I gestured to my body.

"WOW. I never heard of a guy suddenly turning into a girl. I don't know if I can reverse it."

"Maybe if we put our heads together, we can develop an anecdote."

"Yah maybe, but I can't promise anything."

That being said, I returned to my workstation.

This cup is empty. It shouldn't be. It should be half full.

Randy showed up beside me. We gave each other a look.

"I bet Seth stole it."

"That would be my guess," said Randy.

I would know for sure before lunch.

I spotted a tall blue-eyed blond in the central corridor. Her heels clacked with each step on the tile floor.

My god, the resemblance to Seth is remarkable. My brain connected the dots. He drank the solution.

"Are you new here?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I'm Sheena. Believe it or not, I used to be Seth."

Now I know.

"It's nice to meet you, Sheena. I'm Audrey."

Much later that day, I sent an urgent text to my sister Kendra. She has to know that the message came from her brother. Her reply came within minutes.

"Come any time, Austin. My door's always open."

An executive in Marketing, she is probably in her office one floor above me.

"OH MY GOD, AUSTIN, IS THAT YOU, or should I call you Audrey?"

Relief washed over me.

"Audrey is fine," I said, smiling.

"Tell me the whole story."

"It happened in my lab this morning."

"I have something you can wear. Just come (to my apartment) and get it."

The Navy short-sleeved boatneck sheath dress appealed to my fashion sense. I held it in front of me. She gave a nod of approval.

"You would look very professional in that dress."

"Thank you."

For the time being, the matter was settled. I would wear the dress in my hand, although others in her closet were just as nice.

The following day I would learn that Sheena and Seth are two very different personalities. I never expected to bond with her until I did.

A few days passed. At some point during that period, Sheena and I both realized that there is no antidote for our condition. We can not revert to being men.

Having accepted my new life, I made plans for Randal. Sheena, I was to learn, entertained a similar notion. At afternoon break she and I had a little chat.

"Randy should be Rachel," I suggested.

"Oh, I agree wholeheartedly."

In that instant Randal's fate had been sealed.

While sipping our coffee, we pondered the question of how to administer the solution to him.

Sheena took possession of a package that arrived at her door a week later. It turned out to be a syringe. Standing by my workbench, she pulled it out of her pocketbook.

"I like it," I quipped.

"Distract him. I'll inject him."

"Can do," I replied.

We found Randy looking into his microscope.

"Hello, Randal," I said.

He looked up at us.

"How's the anecdote coming along?"

"It's going to take a long while, but I'm not ready to give up just yet."

"Maybe your task would be easier if you were a woman."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

We both just grinned at him, then I gave a reply.

"I've never been happier. Becoming a woman is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

I kept him focused on me while Sheena moved into position on his right. The needle punctured his neck. He turned to look at her.

"You won't turn me into a woman."

"But we just did," I replied.

Sheena and I watched a man bending over, clutching his stomach and wincing as the chemical took effect. Grunts escaped his throat.

Less than two minutes passed.

"OH MY GOD, YOU TURNED ME INTO A WOMAN."

Sheena and I shot a silent grin at him.

"Embrace it," I urged.

"That leaves Jon, and our mission ( to have an all-female lab) will be complete."

Her words hung in the air as we headed back to our workstations.