Mom's in College Pt. 02

As the days went by, I was starting to seek out the once intrusive thoughts that would pop up in my mind about her; all with a healthy measure of confused emotions and thoughts. There was a solid triangle building up in my psyche. Three faces:

1. I'm incredibly turned on by mom now; full on, pure, all-consuming carnal sexual desire.

2. I'm starting to feel a sense of true 'adult' love for her. There were always the modern-society catchphrases - "love ya" and innocent kisses on the cheek, but now there was a stirring deeper in my psyche; one of deeper connection, a sense of cosmic belonging to something greater than myself. To tell the truth, this one titillated me as well as scared the shit out of me. Something 'sexual' could be transient, easily dismissed as a distraction or a 'fling'. While I wasn't quite there yet, true love is something hat lives inside of your soul, takes root, and attaches itself impermeably to your very sense of being.

3. I'm disgusted with myself; my motivations, my thoughts and actions. What the hell am I doing/thinking/feeling? This is not right and can only lead to a bad, likely disastrous ending.

A triangle, arguably one of the most stable of geometric structures. A Grand Trine: the confluence of three incredibly strong forces working together, interlocked; a harbinger of great (or tragic) things to come.

For the most part she kept to herself, as did I. The less fuel on this fire the better. Then one day we both happened to come home at the same time and literally ran into one another at the front door (was that her breast that I felt?). She said, "We have to talk." BAM! it hit me all at once, all of these conflicting forces stirring to a boil in my gut - "Oh no, this is it".

She began, "There is something that we need to clear up. I know that you've seen me in the sexual development class. I've seen how you go out of your way to try to make yourself invisible, sitting as far from me as you can, darting out of class so that I won't see you. Listen, we both know that we are in this crazy class, studying who knows what, pretending that we're not there. Let's be mature about this, you're an adult now and God knows I am. We are both human and (sexual) creatures: we have desires, needs, curiosities. Let's work together on this".

Work together on this? Is she fucking insane? My head was spinning. I didn't know what to think, say or do, so I just stood there gobsmacked.

She continued, "The professor was clear about one thing in the very first class; that this was not an easy 'A', there was going to be serious and deep learning done by every one of us in the class. To tell the truth honey I'm struggling. It's been years since I've been in school. I've never really been academic, and frankly I need help -- can we put all of the awkwardness aside and just help each other? We can be our own little study group".

Again, it was I was listening at a distance, through a tunnel. That is, until those last five words. Then suddenly I was forced back, front and center into the real world. A million thoughts, a gazillion conflicting emotions; love, desire, there there were guilt and shame -- best friends of the human sexual response.

And a raging boner!

And so it was. Two mature adults working together toward a common goal. Piece of cake, right? "Sure mom, let's do this thing".

The next day we started a new module - 'the anatomy of an orgasm'. Of course!

Things started out pretty tame, and I thought to myself -- maybe this won't be as hard as I thought. In class, it was all pragmatic, even scientific (at first). The amygdala, the hippocampus, the cerebellum. The autonomic nervous system, sympathetic versus parasympathetic. Nerve firings and conduction.

Ok, I can handle this.

Vestibular glands, ducts. The vulva, the vagina, the penis. Dilation of the cervix, the erections, vaginal penetration, rhythmic contractions, ejaculation...

Ummm, Let's see, my mom is sitting three rows in front of me (I decided to be brave, mature). She's listening to and seeing the same things as me -- Wait, I've got a raging hard on. Is SHE sexually aroused? Is my mom experiencing vaginal lubrication?

Fuck, is my mom wet?

My attention was torn, half listening to the lecture, studiously taking notes, watching the slides. The other half was totally lost in obsession. What does my mom's vulva look like, is it soft? What does she feel when she cums ----- NO! ---What is the texture of her labia? What does it taste ---- Fuck, no, no, stop. Get a hold of yourself Shawn!

Fortunately the professor shifted tack before the end of the class. Thoughtfully, she shifted to some very banal comments the last five minutes. I can guarantee that every male in the class was sporting a tent.