Jazz's Story - Part 6

"So, what are you going to do now?"

"Well, I have made up a list of things I want to try. It's a mad list, seriously. I'm gonna get him doing some insane shit!"

"Well, yeah. But how do you if he wants to try them? I mean, you can't push him into things if he doesn't want to do them."

"Oh, he'll do them. How could he possibly say 'no' to all... This!"

Jaspreet waved her phone up and down her body so that Kim could see it all. The effect was only partly diminished by the fact she was wearing her more comfortable (and most embarrassing) pajamas.

"Ooooo, right! " Mocked Kim, laughing. "Yeah, no man can resist pink flannel pyjamas."

Jaspreet sighed dramatically and flung herself on her bed like a 1940s Hollywood star.

"I know. It's so hard being me!" She declared, attempting a poor imitation of a southern belle. "All these men would just Daaah for me!'

Kim chorlted. She had an infectious laugh. But, she insisted that Jaspreet needed to consider Andy's feelings. It just wasn't fair to treat him like some object. Or was she really only interested in him for sex?

Jaspreet huffed grumpily.

"I don't know!" She insisted. "I don't know what anything is. I mean, what? Are you asking if I'm in luurve with him? How am I supposed know? I know I love the sex. I know he does too. So what's the problem?"

"Oh, Jazz. You have the sex drive of an adult rabbit. But you can be such a child! And I love that about you, don't get me wrong. I don't want you to ever change. But Andy's NOT a child. Lots of men his age are married..." Jaspreet pulled a disgusted face "... and all this stuff with lists of things you want to do. Well, he probably did all that years ago."

Jaspreet sighed, and groaned in frustration. She knew Kim was right. Kim was always right, and she trusted in that even if she couldn't understand why.

" Oooowa!" She whined. "So what do I do? Should I tell him I'm not looking to marry him? I'd feel so stupid! Kim! Help me!"

Kim looked torn, and pained for a moment.

"Well, for a lot of reasons I'm probably the last person you should be asking." She said. "But look, just don't push him to do anything too crazy. And if you really don't mean it to turn into anything serious... "

"Ugh, like a relationship! "

"... Well, yeah. If you don't want that then - I dunno. Try and steer away from all that luvvy duvvy sex? You know what I mean? All that staring into each other's eyes and holding each other close. "

"Whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears? " Jaspreet grinned.

"Gazing at the moon with champagne " Kim grinned too.

"Fucking on a bed strewn with rose petals and poetry" Jaspreet continued.

" How do you strew a bed with poetry? " Kim asked?

" Dunno. Presume you tear the pages out of the books and, like, scatter shreds of paper around. So every now and then you see a small piece with the word 'thou' or 'lovest' or 'fucketh' and shit."

Kim burst out laughing.

" Aww", Jaspreet whined again. "Why's everything so... Grown up sometimes."

She sighed heavily.

"Ok. I'll try not to be too luvvy duvvy. Maybe I'll get him to take me up the arse. Then we won't even be looking at each other."

"Jazz!" Said Kim, shocked. "You wouldn't! Would you?"

Jaspreet grinned.

*Nah." She said. " That just seems pretty gross. I mean can you imagine? Someone sticking their cock up where you poo? Ugh. Gross."

"I've never really understood how it would fit." Said Kim, thoughtfully. "I mean, it's not a very big hole is it?"

They took turns grossing each other out about anal sex for a while, and then spent the rest of the time talking about Kim's new flat, and all the improvements she had made to it. Jaspreet couldn't wait to go and see it. But mostly she just wants to be with Kim again.

The next day, Jaspreet skipped all the way over to Andy's with her bag and several pyrex dishes of food her Mum insisted she take. "That man is being so kind like this!" She had said." He is doing you a huge favour!"

Well, she certainly got that right.

She sat at Andy's table with her laptop and notes while Andy pottered around the kitchen putting the food in the fridge and getting cups of tea made. It all felt quite... Domestic.

All of Kim's warnings came back to her, and a sudden vision flashed in her mind of her as the little wife knitting in the living room, and Andy coming in with a tray of Horlicks and Garibaldi biscuits.

The vision terrified her. It smothered her. She felt and sudden and desperate need to revolt against it. To break that asphyxiating image of polite domesticity.

She dropped her pen on the table and dashed upstairs into Andy's bedroom. Rummaging in his bedside draw she found a box of condoms (along with a puzzling collection of broken watches, half empty bottles of after shave and a pair of women's earrings). Taking one she was about to go back downstairs, when she stopped and instead sat on the bed.

She peeled off her socks, undid her trousers and then pulled both the trousers and her knickers down in one go. Abandoning her clothes, and wearing just her t-shirt, she padded out of the room and back downstairs.

Andy was still in the kitchen. Two freshly poured cups of tea were in front of him and he was staring dreamily out of the window.

She walked right up in front of him and, looking up into his eyes began immediately undoing his trousers.

Andy looked shocked.

"Jazz? What are you...."

"I need you to fuck me", Jaspreet said, simply, while continuing to undo Andy's trousers. As soon as she could she thrust her hand into his boxers and grabbed his limp cock.

She closed the gap between them and looked up at Andy.

"Right here" she said. Then with her free hand she took one of Andy's and guided it to her pussy.

"Jazz!" Andy objected. "The window! What if someone sees!"

Jaspreet responded by pulling Andy's head down into a kiss. Despite his objections she could already feel his cock stirring in her hand. Dropping down onto her knees she put it straight into her mouth, and the impact was immediate. She felt the cock swelling fast, pushing her head back as it lengthened.

As before, she sucked in the end of it, licked the shaft, and groped his testicles which were squirming like squirrels in a sack. All she wanted was for him to be hard enough. And as soon as he was, she grabbed the condotand tore open the wrapper.

"How does this work?" She demanded, pullitng the slick rubber from the packet.

Trance-like, Andy rolled the condom over his cock. Jaspreet stood up and turned around, leaning over the kitchen counter.

She felt Andy grasping her buttucks. Felt his cock running along the crack. Then with one hand he pushed her down so she was lying flat on the counter, while with the other he guided his cock towards her pussy. He had to dip his knees a little to make the angle.

Again as before, he stroked her labia with the tip of his cock, searching for the way in. He pushed a few times, but didn't enter her.

"Jazz, you're not ready", he said. "Let's go upstairs and..."

"No!" Jaspreet interrupted. "Can't you just push it in?"

"I don't know if... It's... Oh fuck. Look, hang on".

She heard him rummaging in the kitchen cupboards, and for one comical moment imagined him bringing out some biscuits. But then she heard the lid of a bottle being unscrewed. She gasped loudly as she felt his fingers rubbing a cold liquid on her pussy, finger sliding around her clitoris and the entrance to her vagina. When everything was covered, she again felt his cock, and this time it slid in smoothly.

He understood that what Jaspreet wanted was unadorned sex. She didn't want the foreplay. She didn't want him to take his time. So immediately he began to pound his cock into her.

Jaspreet cried out with each thrust. It felt more painful than before, but it was a pain she welcomed. She needed something raw. Something dirty.

As he pushed in, his hips slapped loudly against her buttocks and she juddered on the worktop.

Her eyes flicked up to the window. From where she was she could only see the sky through it, but she imagined a crowd standing there watching. And the thought gave her a hard and angry thrill that generated a wave of erotic sensations.

Andy was grunting hard with the effort. He was holding her steady with his hands because Jaspreet's feet were almost entirely off the floor.

Heat grew inside Jaspreet. Sometimes Andy's cock pushed right up inside her, hitting a nerve or a point that felt sharp and dangerous. Sometimes he straightened up and the head rammed hard against that g-spot of tissue just inside her vagina. This, and the rhythmic rubbing of her labia was starting to have its effect. Her pained cries gradually morphed into wails, and finally into groans.

Throughout these transitions, Andy maintained a steady rhythm, slapping his cock hard into her and then sliding out more slowly, and then slapping in again with a slightly changed angle.

Jaspreet's arms moved out to her sides, and her hands flattened on the counter giving her more stability. Every now and then Andy pushed her rear upward, lifting her legs and arse and grinding her face down onto the faux marble surface of the counter.

The heat grew. The groans became longer and longer, until a rushing sound filled her ears and a small explosion seemed to go off in her vagina. It was sudden, and it was over in an instant.

But Andy was not done. He kept up the same incessant rhythm, and if anything was pushing in even harder.

Although the heat was still inside her, the sensations of his cock driving through her labia and scraping over the walls of her vagina became a little more uncomfortable. As though her pussy was suddenly raw and tender after her orgasm.

She screwed up her eyes, wincing every now and then. But still glad of the pain. Of the rawness.

It took Andy a long time to come, and when he did he pushed hard into her, almost lifting her whole body into the air. Then he slumped down into her back.

His weight and warmth was comforting. But she was very glad she couldn't see Andy's face at that moment. All the wild emotions that had driven her, were gradually subsiding and leaving behind a kind of shame.

She had done the very thing Kim warned about. She had pushed Andy into a kind of sex he clearly wasn't sure about. She had been driven not by sexual desire but a kind of furious lust.

Yes, it has been impersonal. Andy would never mistake this for being romantic. But it had gone so far in the opposite direction it felt almost abusive.

Andy eventually got up and pulled his cock out from her. Jaspreet slid down from the counter and they looked, awkwardly at each other.

"Shit", said Andy. "That was um... Wow. Um, look, we'd better move away from the window. I don't think anyone saw us, but you know... "

He was looking as shameful as she felt.

They moved out from the kitchen and dressed themselves. They didn't speak much as they got themselves sorted and eventually sat back down at the table with cups of tea and their work. Jaspreet's arse was sore, and she kept shuffling uncomfortably in her chair.

All in all it was a relief to both of them when the light faded and Jaspreet went back home.

Of course the first thing she did was to phone Kim. But she cut off the call before it was answered. At that moment she was still feeling too ashamed to explain it even to Kim.

Perhaps especially to Kim.

She showered and got into her notorious pink flannel pajamas, then sat in the bed and stared blankly into space.

Kim called a moment later. She had seen the missed call.

Jaspreet tearfully told her everything.

Kim listened calmly, and sensitively, letting Jaspreet talk everything out until she was finished.

"Fuck, Kim. What do I do? I feel such a complete mess. I don't know if I'll ever be able to see him again."

Kim paused to consider.

"I'm not sure you're gonna like what I think Jazz. "

Jaspreet's heart sank like a stone.

"Look, Jazz. You hate the thought of being in a proper relationship. You think you're too young for it. But what's the alternative to a relationship? Well, that's what you had today. If its not a relationship, it's just fucking. And how did that make you feel?"

"Shit." Conceded Jaspreet.

"And Jazz, I'm really not surprised. Because if all it is, is fucking, then you don't really care about the other person at all.

And that's just not you, Jazz. It's not! You do care about people. You love people. I don't know anyone who loves so easily as you, or hates so little as you. Just think about all those boys you dated. Your still good mates with all of them! Do you know how rare that is?

You love Andy. Maybe not romantically or, like, wanting to marry him or anything. But you love him, just like you love everyone close to you. And you feel shit because you can't bear the feeling that you might have just used him."

Jaspreet sniffed. She wasn't sure if all this made her feel better or worse. But as always he trusted Kim's insight, and it did make some sense of the conflicting emotions she was feeling.

Ultimately, this was all a mess. She had initiated this relationship with Andy, thinking it was just casual fun. But she was starting to discover that sex just wasn't that simple, and this discovery made her feel old.

She has to decide something. Like a responsible grown up. She has to decide whether she wanted to have sex with Andy and let it be loving. Let it be something - even just a little bit - more than casual. Or to stop it altogether.

That night she had dreams about Andy, dead. And the police were hunting for her. She kept going to the houses of people she knew, looking for refuge.

But nobody would let her in.