Maybe I Need a New Husband

Just a short one this time about a wife who gets too big for her boots, thinks her husband is a pushover and takes advantage of him.

She finds out the opposite.

The wife does not nor does she intend under any circumstances to cheat. However, one joke at a party is one joke too many.

I was out with a few mates in Salisbury having a beer talking about work and stuff. There was a group of mid 20's girls, and I overheard one of them say something and the rest of the group laughed at what she said. I wondered what would happen if her husband or boyfriend heard her say what she had said.

This is the story that came from that comment. I feel it departs from my usual style. Despite what you may think and the category, there is no cheating wife, just the fear there will be in the future.

This started as a burn story but three quarters of the way through I realised that it didn't fit the attitude being displayed by the main characters. There is however, a continuation with the Burn side for Burn which I am not sure if I will publish yet.

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"Look since you've been working for Gerald you've become a pretentious bitch."

We were at my company's Christmas party, and a lot of us were standing around together. The women were gently doing their partners down, and they were taking it in good spirit and often fighting back with humorous anecdotes.

There was Sharon and my best friend Julie, they were both unattached at the moment, Claire and Brian, Reggie and his partner, Mavis and her husband, she worked in QA with me and there was John and Sally. John was in design.

Our company made motorhome and window cartridges. These cartridges contained an opening window, a fly net and a sunscreen mounted on a plastic frame. The manufacturers just screw these cartridges into the holes they had cut in the side of the motorhomes or caravan. In the company there was plastics production, they made all the frames and clear windows, Brian was supervisor there. Then there was assembly, where they assembled all the bought in bits, like latches, sun and flynet rollers to the plastic frames and windows we produced. I used to supervise there, Julie did that job now. She used to be in charge of storage, packing and distribution. I was now part of the Quality Assurance team. Gerald was my boss and there was Robert and his wife Marcie, they owned the company.

They were a nice couple.

We were going on about how some men were good at DIY, others not so much. Then we got on to what romantic things couples had done for each other, what presents husbands got for their wives before going on about what Christmas presents they would buy each other and what they would do for Valentine's Day. Wives went on that the husbands bought the wife lingerie, but that is for themselves. I went on that Simon had brought me a corset for a present but was uncomfortable so I only wore it once.

Simon, my husband was standing beside me said. "That's not quite correct sweetheart, I asked if you minded because I thought you'd look good in one, you agreed, but it was for my birthday, not yours. I got you that bracelet you never take off, the one you're wearing now, for your birthday."

Simon noticed my glass was empty. He whispered to me. "Would you like another one?"

I nodded and said. "Please." I handed him my glass with a smile.

Simon looked a bit miffed, but still took the empty wine glass from my hand, finished his beer and walked towards the bar.

We chatted about husbands when Mavis said to me. "Denise, what has Simon done for you?" It could have been the wine, I don't know why I said it, there had been lots of laughing and joking and as Simon had gone to the bar, I felt safe and I said, "He's brilliant at DIY, but listening to all your stories, I think I might need a new husband, or an extra one for the romance," and I laughed.

Then I realised their laughter was a little muted. Julie looked over my shoulder. I turned and there was Simon, he had a glass of wine in his hand. There was a look of thunder on his face, but he said nothing. I could see he was controlling his anger. He did not hand the wine to me, he deliberately placed it on the table next to me, almost spilling it. His movements are normally slow and gentle, that was not like him. He smiled sweetly before he drank half his pint.

"Honey, I was just joking, I..."

"I warned you about jokes on the way over. I'm obviously wasting my time. I'm not sure if it was a joke or not, or just your plan for the future."

John and Mavis walked away followed by their spouses.

He had warned me, but as he was out of earshot I thought I was safe for one last quip. But what did he mean by 'future plan'. We had a plan that we had agreed on.

I saw him take a long drink of his beer and placed his glass on the table, there was 1/2 an inch left in the bottom. Everybody was looking at him. He pulled his wedding ring off his finger and said. "Okay you're free to go. I think you've been lining up Gerald as my replacement or as the extra husband. You always seem to be on about him until a couple of weeks ago."

I saw Gerald make himself scarce.

Those left standing around us went deathly silent, but the general hub bub carried on around us. "I suspect you've been auditioning with Gerald because you've certainly not been doing anything with me for the last several weeks, too tired, got a headache, busy, not interested, it's that time of the month, which is strange because your previous time of the month was only two weeks away. Don't you think a husband knows when his wife's periods are? When you did let me do it, it was a pity fuck just to shut me up, you just lay there. I might as well have had a wank, then you rolled over like I didn't exist, so you must be getting it elsewhere."

My mind was a whirl. I didn't know what to say. "Gerald's gay." I blurted out.

That was when Reggie spoke up. "No, he's not, he just tells people that so women feel safe around him, he's an absolute pussy hound. We were at the symposium together a couple of months ago and I saw him walking to a lift with his arm around a woman. I asked him at breakfast what was happening. He told me he was actually bi, but he hadn't found a man to explore the man-on-man stuff yet. He's not gay." Wagging his finger between him and his husband standing next to him he said, "and we should know."

Simon looked down at his almost empty glass. Without warning, he pulled his wedding ring off, and dropped it into the glass, the lack of beer let it hit rock bottom with a splash and a metallic ding. Simon walked away towards the door. It was quiet all around me, my mouth just hung open.

Julie came and stood next to me. "You'd better rush off home and make it up to him, because if you don't there'll be a queue of people waiting to pick up his heart if half the stories are even half true about how he is such a brilliant husband. You have been telling us how wonderful he is for the last couple of years. Nobody would have forgotten how you used to go on about how good he was. I wouldn't be surprised if Claire's not knocking on his front door tomorrow."

"But Claire and Brian are a couple."

"Nope, they're friends with benefits. Claire would drop Brian like hot coals as soon as Simon becomes available, and trust me, she's not the only one. Did you see Sharon hanging on to him when you danced with Gerald and Roger?"

"No."

"Oh yes, she's divorced and looking. He was fending her off."

Julie looked at me and said quietly. "You're my friend, so I will be honest with you, if you ditch him, I will be in that queue too."

Julie must have rescued his wedding ring as we were talking, she was drying it on a napkin, she gave it to me saying. "Take this home, make a plea, crawl across broken glass, get him to put it back on because there will be others waiting. And for Christ's sake stop making him the butt of your jokes."

"But I was just joking, I didn't mean it."

"I don't think Simon saw it like that."

She was right. I rushed outside. His car was still there. He probably had too much to drink to drive. I had the spare keys, and I was tempted to drive but the last thing I needed was to get pulled over by the police.

I called a taxi, it took ages to come. Whilst I was waiting it started to rain.

The rain mingled with my tears.

I felt like the grey sky opened its heart and wept on me.

When I got to our house Simon was coming down the stairs with a suitcase.

Our House

"Where are you going?" I asked through my tears.

"Just making room for your new husband. He'll have to help you pay the mortgage, not sure you'll be able to afford it on your own, I'm not hanging around whilst you're looking for my replacement. Or you could sell it and give me half of what's left over."

I could see tears in the corners of his eyes.

He carried on. "I warned you about using me as the butt of your joke that first time at your promotion party. And then the slippers." I couldn't think what he meant by the slippers. I remember he got angry at my promotion party when I said he was going to have to step up if he wants some of this now I've been promoted, as I ran my hands down my body suggestively.

Everybody laughed, well except for Simon. He told me again on the way home he didn't like being the fall guy for my jokes. I apologised to him then. He accepted my apologies.

"Please sweetheart, I made a mistake, I won't do it again, I promise. I'll tell everyone I was wrong, please give me another chance. I've got your wedding ring please, put it back on."

"No, you keep it. It means nothing to me now, give it to your next husband. He may like second hand things." Then he was vicious. "Like your love."

He was angry.

"Please can we talk about it?" I begged.

"No, I'm not waiting around for you to go out and audition for your new husband, if you haven't started the process already. Oh, and your new lover, if you want to test him on DIY, the right-hand garage door has started to sag. The hinges aren't strong enough and the wood may need replacing. I got the new hinges. They're on the work bench. See if your new boyfriend could hang the door properly, that would be a good test of his DIY skills and if he reaches all the spots I used to in bed, he's your man, but obviously you won't love him, you'll just use him like you have been me."

I wasn't, I really wasn't going to do anything like that.

"I'm not, I'm not, I haven't been with anybody, I'm not planning to, it was just a joke."

"Was it just a joke when I saw you flirting with your supposedly gay boyfriend a couple of months ago?"

"Honestly, I thought he was gay, he'd be safe to flirt with, he wouldn't be interested in me. It was only flirting. We used to flirt." I said.

"Yes, but at the time neither of us were married and look where our flirting led us to."

I felt the weight of his words. I hadn't thought of that, I thought it was just fun with Gerald because he was safe, he preferred men.

Simon replied quietly. "You saw it as harmless flirting; I bet he saw it as a way into your knickers."

"We can go to counselling. We can fix this." I said desperately.

"Why should I go to counselling to fix this? I haven't done anything wrong, perhaps not been good enough in bed according to what you've told your friends, counselling won't sort that out. I think I'll practice more with other women."

"I will fight it. I'll get the judge to order us to go to counselling."

Simon gave a dry laugh. "This isn't America, you can't do that. Anyway, there is little point. You stopped respecting me and loving me otherwise you wouldn't take the mickey out of me. Enjoy your life. I hope Gerald's worth it."

"Where are you going?" It was late. I wanted him to stay here. I wanted him close, I loved him, I needed to make this right, I couldn't do that if he wasn't here.

"My sister is picking me up. I'll pick my car up from the hotel in the morning and get more of my stuff tomorrow."

A car horn sounded briefly. "That's Jen." He stopped just before the front door. He turned, looking at me, he said. "'I'll contact the solicitor and get the divorce started. You can fight if you wish but it'll only cost you money."

He carried on out the front door.

I collapsed on the floor when the front door slammed shut.

I don't know how much later it was when my phone rang. I opened it quickly hoping it was Simon. It was Julie, she asked how I was? I just blubbed. The next thing I know there was a knocking at my front door. I rushed to open it hoping it was Simon. I opened it and there was Claire and Julie, they helped me into the living room.

I looked down and there was Simon's wedding ring still in my hand.

Julie held me whilst I cried, Claire went and made tea.

"How can I fix this? How can I get him back?" I sobbed. "What have I done wrong?

Julie looked at me, shaking her head saying. "If you don't know, we're going to be of little help to you, but I will tell you a few home truths and you can work it out for yourself."

Claire came in with the tea. I took a mouthful and nearly threw up. It had sugar in it. I don't take sugar. That seemed to bring us down to earth a little bit. I stopped crying.

"I'm going to be brutally honest with you."

Then Julie was, brutally, honest with me as only good friends can be.

"Over the last couple of months, you've become a pretentious bitch ever since you moved on to Gerald's QA team."

Julie looked at me into my crying eyes. "Since you moved into QA you seemed to think you're above us, the way you dress and strut around telling us what to do. On the whole we ignored you because all new QA people do it. They feel a non-existent power that you can tell us what to do. You can't, you can suggest, point out errors and advise. But you can't tell us what to do. Robert, Marcie and the design team can."

Julie paused. "We've seen you QA plonkers come and go and we know that after a couple of months you get off your QA high horse and come around to be part of the team again. But Simon hasn't seen that and he thinks this is the new normal, and I bet he's not staying around because he doesn't know it's going to get better. Then you go and say you're looking for a new or extra husband. Just what the bloody hell do you think he's going to do after hearing that?" She paused and said quietly. "Yes, I know you have a lot of reading and learning to do and it's more responsibility. But I bet you've been ignoring Simon.

Claire leaned in. "Look, since you've had this new job, you've been feeling left out of the crowd and you think your way back in is joking, but you picked the wrong subject to joke about. Your husband, and you've been doing it for months.

"You dressed better, gone are the jeans and sweatshirt, it looked like you were lording over us, showing off."

She was correct. Looking back, I had been studying a lot and as I'd come from the assembly section, so I thought I knew it better.

Gerald insisted we dress better. It showed more authority, he said. So out went the jeans, sweatshirts and hair in a ponytail. In came skirts, blouses and a trip to the hairdressers once a month. The safety shoes didn't change though, pity, my legs look good in heels.

Julie carried on this time. "How do you think Simon saw that? The longer hours, okay we all know it's a steep curve in those first few months. But did you explain that to Simon? And it appears from what you said you ignored him in bed. Nothing gets a man's goat up but to see his woman walk out looking cute, then coming home and ignoring him."

I could see she was getting a bit angry. She calmed down when she took a sip of her tea. She took sugar.

"Do you remember, you used to go on about how good he was? Flowers, weekends away, shoulder massages, feet rubs after a long day on the shop floor. God I'd have died for a man to do that for me. You told us when you thanked him later in bed he would reach all the parts he needed for you. And you've just blown that all away after telling us how good he was for the last couple of years. No wonder there is going to be a queue. You even told us what he likes you to wear."

She paused and said quietly. "You were so proud of him, so happy to be his wife. Then you went to work for Gerald and the only thing that changed was you."

I wiped my tears. I was trying to take it all in, I couldn't.

Claire spoke up.

"Two months ago, in the pub you said women could do with two men, a handyman and a stud. Then I asked you if Simon was both, you laughed and said he was a bloody good handyman, and you left it at that. The thing was he was standing behind you. I couldn't tell if you were joking particularly after how in the past you bragged about his prowess that you seemed to have forgotten."

Julie was cradling her mug in her hands, she took a sip of her tea and grimaced it was probably cold. "Last month when we were out for drinks. Sharon was eyeing up a bloke she fancied on the far side of the pub. You said. "I wouldn't mind his slippers by my bed a couple of times a month when Simon's at work." I asked what you meant by that. You told us there wasn't time anymore and you said. 'Simon is a bit..." You shrugged your shoulders and let the words hang, as if you couldn't say he wasn't up to it. We all felt that was what you were implying. What you didn't know was he was standing behind you again. It was like he wasn't good in bed which is the complete opposite to what you were saying a couple of months previously. He walked out. I rushed after him and told him you were just joking. I don't think you realised that none of us were laughing anymore.

"That was after you phoned him and arranged for him to pick you up. We felt it was almost like you wanted him to hear that."

I didn't remember that. I sat there shaking my head.

Julie dipped her finger in her tea. I had no idea why she did that. Looking me squarely in the face she said. "Those are the ones he heard, we know there's been a lot more than that. You always seem to be doing him down, like he's not enough now you've moved at work."

Julie paused again. "Now Simon tells us, it wasn't him not coming up with the goods, it was you. So, who do we believe?"

Claire said. "From what we've seen, Simon hasn't changed, but you have. So, I'm inclined to go with Simon."

So that was what Simon meant when he said about the slippers. I remember that it was a quiet drive home and icy around the house that week. That was when I gave in to Simon's intimacy.

I had never cheated on Simon, I never would. I wasn't even tempted by anyone I'd met. I love Simon with all my heart and if I did cheat, he would know and drop me, that would absolutely devastate me and my parents. They were hoping for grandkids some day and once I'd settled into the new job that was the plan.

Simon and I had worked out a plan for the next six years until our first born was in school. We had planned to start a family in a years' time, but when I moved to QA, we talked about putting it back a couple of years. Simon wasn't happy but agreed to it. I just wanted to get settled in the new job and there were rumours that Gerald was moving on and I wanted his job, but I didn't have the skill or the knowledge yet to take over from him if he left now.

Julie said quietly. "So, it turns out Gerald's not gay then!"

Shit, I thought he was gay, then I remembered he said quietly one day. "Actually, I swing both ways," and with that he walked away. I discounted it as he was just joshing. I told Simon that Gerald had been flirting with me. I'd always turned him down and was always going to. I remember that I joked to Simon that maybe I could turn a gay man straight.

Fuck!

I told Julie and Claire I wanted to see that he got to Jen's safe. I tried phoning him, but the call was rejected. Every time I phoned, the call was rejected. He didn't block me. He didn't let it ring out, he just rejected it. I had tried sending messages, he never read them.

They tried as well with the same result.

I don't remember much after that. I was tired, worn out and worried, very worried.

I woke up in my bed still dressed. I had no idea how I got here. I got downstairs and Julie had the kettle and the tea pot was ready. She told me Claire had gone home after they put me to bed.

There was cereal, I couldn't face anything. Then I remembered that Simon was coming round later to pick up some more stuff. That was my opportunity to turn this around.

I talked to Julie, I had a plan. I was going to dress up sexy, corset, stockings, everything Simon liked. Julie suggested that was not a good idea. We needed to talk. I swung the other way. Do I look a complete mess then? Julie said that wasn't right either, just be myself, the person who I had been for all the years we've been married, not the sexy siren, not the pretentious QA bitch, just me, just Denise. When I thought about it, it seemed the most sensible approach.

I showered and dressed in normal house clothes, no make-up. I don't normally wear make-up in the house. Then it struck me. I didn't normally wear make-up to work until I joined QA. Was that another signal to Simon that his wife had changed, and not for the better.

Simon in the Morning

I heard Simon's car arrive. Well, I was watching for it. I opened the door. I didn't want him to have to suffer the humiliation of knocking on his own front door. But I saw he had his keys in his hand. He was just going to let himself in.

I wanted to throw myself at him. He didn't look well but he had an air about him I recognised, normally I would think it was good. He looked determined and that he wanted to carry through his threat of last night, that was bad.

I was going to ask if we could talk, but he got there first. "I guess we had better have a talk. I see Julie's car is here."

"She and Claire came to see if I was all right."

"I guessed she would after I phoned her and told her you were a mess when I left."

Even when he was angry with me, he was looking after me. I need this man back.

And I was going to have to change to do it, I'd changed once. I can do it again.

Julie must have heard him, she walked into the kitchen dressed to go home. She touched my arm and gave me a thin smile. Looking at Simon, she said. "I know you've got your sister to talk to, but if you need someone else the first phone number at a quarter past nine was me. The second was Claire. I'm sure she and Brian would help too." Looking my way she said. "Remember what I said about a queue."

She might be my friend, but she let me know if I threw Simon away, she was going to be all over him. At least she was honest with me. It was a fair warning.

"Tea?" I asked.

"No thank you. I'm not staying once I've packed. I've got the name of a solicitor, and I'll get an appointment sometime next week, or we can apply online."

I wanted to cry, again, but I held it in.

I was going to plead just like Julie suggested last night. "Please, can we try again, I'll do anything. I love you, I made a mistake. Several mistakes." With that I pulled his wedding ring from my pocket and slid it across to him. "Please put that back on, I'll do anything you want. Please don't leave me."

He reached his hand out. I hoped upon hope. I was crushed when he pushed it back towards me.

He didn't need to say a word.

Simon stood up and went to make tea. It was thinking time, he used a teapot not making it in a cup.

I managed to control the tears.

He placed my favourite mug of tea in front of me. He wasn't using his favourite mug, it was there, he was saving to take it to his sisters.

He held his hands around his mug, it was hot, it must have hurt.

He was focusing.

Here it comes, not with anger, that was not his style. He will just tell a story, calmly.

"Since you moved on to Gerald's QA team, you've become a condescending pain in the arse, almost like I'm not good enough. You've ignored me, you dress smart for work but when I suggest we go out for a night all I get is jeans and a sweatshirt, I know it was only a pub meal, but you made no effort to look nice for me.

"When I try to be intimate, all I got was 'I'm busy or I'm tired, there is so much to do. I felt really insulted when you lied to me about your period.

"You were ostracised by your former friends by the way you treated them with your new job, and you started making jokes at my expense to get back in with them. Claire warned me that people joining the QA team get a bit of a God complex for a couple of months until they can be put right. It's been nearly 6 months now, so I don't think that God complex is going away.

"But guess what, I'm not waiting any longer. I don't need a reason to divorce you. But I don't want to be married to a She Devil any longer. That's what people are calling you behind your back by the way. When your parents ask me, well I'll tell them the truth. I think I've got enough witnesses to back me up. Maybe Julie would help if I asked her. I think they will understand, not sure about your sister. She'll be happy. She never liked me."

No, she did like him, a lot, that was why she sniped at him all the time. She liked him almost as much as I loved him, and she let me know. I'll bet she'll be in the queue along with Julie, Claire, Sharon, maybe even Gerald might be in that queue. Simon definitely does not swing that way, he doesn't even like bum sex.

"You openly joked about me to your friends whilst I was standing beside you. Did you ever notice how people stopped laughing at your jokes? All you did was double down. When I complained to you about it you stopped making me the fall guy.

"But then I found out you waited until I wasn't around. I heard you a couple of times, which is ironic because if I remember correctly, they were the times you asked me to pick you up from work or the pub. Your friends apologised to me for what you said, but you never did."

I gently raised my hand like I was at school but I didn't wait for permission to talk. "I'm sorry I wouldn't have said those things if you were there." Shit. "Look, that's not right, I didn't mean that. It came out all wrong. You're right, I shouldn't have to apologise to you, I shouldn't have said them in the first place."

"But you did and I don't know how many more quips and jokes you made about me at my expense when I couldn't hear. You went behind my back to make me the butt of your jokes.

"It was last month and I'd come to pick you up and I heard you say to Sharon when you were both looking across at a bloke on the other side of the bar. "You know, I wouldn't mind his slippers under my bed a couple of times a month." You said that in front of all of your friends. That just implied I wasn't doing the job."

Simon sighed. "They weren't jokes anymore, when people stopped laughing, they were comments about me. Another time when you asked me to pick you up. Claire asked you about me and you said about me being a handyman not a stud. I was standing behind you. So yes, I heard that too. So, how many other quips have you had at my expense?" Simon leaned forward over the table slightly. "I felt proud of you when you got that job. I even agreed to put our baby making plans off for a couple of years. But it wasn't enough. It appears I will never be enough, unless I have a hammer, a drill or a spanner in my hand."

I was clutching at straws. "I did apologise to you after my promotion party."

"You apologised to me, but you said nothing to them. I know because Julie and Sharon told me so, that did not retract from what you put in their minds. I would have to step up again. So, fuck it, you're on your own."

"I'll do anything, I'll quit QA, I'll try to get my old job back. I'll go back to assembly."

"You can't do that, Julie's there now."

"I'll wear corsets and stockings all the time, you can have my bum, I'll cook your favourite meals. Please, I'll do anything." I took a breath and carried on. "I will never tell a joke about you again. I will never ridicule you in any way. I didn't do it before I went to QA, I can do it again. I'll quit. I'll do anything. Please!"

"I believe you'll try but I'm not waiting around to find out. I warned you several times. All you did was hide your jokes when you thought I wasn't there and that's worse.

"You joked behind my back, so I expect you'll be auditioning for your next or your extra husband behind my back if you haven't been already."

With that he stood up and went upstairs. I heard drawers opening and closing. He really was packing to leave. But sitting there alone, I thought back. He, like Julie and Clare we're absolutely correct. I was doing everything they said and if he divorced me I only had myself to blame. Why couldn't I see it before, why didn't I listen to his warnings? Why didn't my friends warn me? Or maybe they did and I didn't listen?

Then a thought flashed across my mind; perhaps they wanted my marriage to fail as revenge on being a bitch to them at work and they could line themselves up to sweep in and scoop Simon up. No, that was a stupid thought. They might not like me much at the moment, but they wouldn't do that. If that was what they wanted, then they wouldn't have made me tea and hugged me like they did last night.

I made this fucking mess. I've got to sort it, but I had no idea what to do.

I heard the front door close. Simon didn't even say goodbye.

I sat there with my hands wrapped around my mug of lukewarm tea, tears dropping into my mug. I finished the tea and went to the tea pot, poured another cup, popped it in the microwave to warm up. In that one minute as I stood there watching the mug go round and round I realised they were all correct. Simon, my friends. They were all correct.

I was wrong.

Sitting at the table I thought back to I got into this fucking mess. About eight months ago, the factory got a big long term order. Robert and Marcie expanded the factory and took on more staff. Gerald approached me and asked if I was interested in joining the QA team. I'd worked in every section at most levels except plastics production and he told me my experience and knowledge would be invaluable. I talked to Simon and that was when I told him of the possible opportunity to become head of QA in the future, Gerald's job. There were rumours he was leaving. We agreed that if I got the job, I expected there to be interviews to find the best person for the job, we would put off starting a family off for two years and if Gerald was still in post at that time we would start a family then. I was confident the job was mine because I'd been asked to apply.

Gerald told me later he'd talked with Robert and Marcie and the job was mine. I'd been head-hunted because I was the best. I let it go to my head. I had a lot of reading to do specifications, procedures, how to write reports, loads of stuff. I was working late and at home. I got grumpy at Simon. Then I ignored him. I had resolved to make it up to him later when things settled down.

Gerald had commented that as I no longer worked on the shop floor, I should ditch the jeans and sweatshirt, dressing better showed authority, I did wear skirts and blouses.

I found out my friends were going out without me, I had a talk with Julie, she invited me again under strict instructions no-one was to talk about work. We always had in the past. That left out a big chunk of things we normally talked about. We would share gossip and take micky out of workmates and things that happened in the factory. So, I started on Simon, he was safe. After a while the girls didn't laugh as much, so I made stuff up about him. He would never hear what I said so he wouldn't get hurt I thought. How bloody wrong I was.

I thought back, now I know that Gerald isn't gay, his flirting with me, and getting me promoted. It all makes sense. Simon was correct. He was trying to get into my knickers. That was never going to happen. I take my vows very seriously and would never cheat on Simon. I would not betray him like that.

But I had in other ways.

Fuck! How bloody stupid was I?

I sat there, I felt ashamed of myself.

I didn't think I had any more tears in me, I was wrong, again!

Why me I wondered? Then it struck me. I was good looking. 5' 9", long flowing auburn hair and curves in the right place, and I thought a reasonably pretty face, even though Simon was always telling me I was beautiful. Now Julie really was beautiful, lovely figure, blonde shoulder length hair and a smile to light up anyone's day. Claire was good looking too, maybe had a few more curves than me and a bit more weight. She carried it well. Sharon, now she was stunning. She worked hard to look good and she did. She was hunting.

The difference between them and me? They were single, even Claire with her FWB arrangement with Brian. They would want a proper relationship. I was married. I would just be Gerald's bit on the side.

The bastard!

Then I cried some more before I pulled myself together. Then I planned.

Sunday, I phoned my sister and arranged to meet at my parent's house. I told them what had happened and we talked. I told them the truth. My sister was sceptical that I had been cheating on him until I gave her a Paddington hard stare. I was a fan of Paddington the Bear and as a kid I practiced his hard stare in the mirror as a way to let my little sister know she'd annoyed me without our parents finding out what she'd done. It worked then, and it worked now. I got some good advice from all of them.

I phoned Sharon. She was the only one of our crowd that had any experience of divorce. I don't know what led to her divorce, but she filled me in. It could be quite simple if I agreed to just sign the paperwork when it turns up and then six months later all done. It seemed so cold.

My plan evolved.

The paperwork turned up a week later. I had 14 days to reply. Then it was two to four weeks before the initial Conditional Order was issued. Then 20 weeks before it is all over. As I thought before, it all seemed such a cold way to end a loving marriage.

I'd learned on the factory shop floor, and as a supervisor and even in the short time, I'd been in QA that I could plan. I knew what I wanted to do where I was going. The only problem I had was a timeline. When do I carry out my plan?

I tried to keep in contact with Simon, he would never speak to me. I even called at his office at knock off time one day. I saw his mate Tony come out. He'd known Simon since school, they played Rugby together. He walked across to me and told me Simon had seen me and went out the back.

I asked him how Simon was doing? I think Tony was quite angry at me.

He looked at me with sad eyes. "He's been talking about how you've been distancing yourself. He felt like with all the jokes and comments he didn't measure up. He thought you were planning your way out. He was certain you were having an affair."

I reached out and took his hand and said. "I wasn't, really I wasn't. I have never cheated on him. I haven't been the best wife over the last six months, but I have never emotionally or physically cheated on him. This is all my mistake."

He took his hand back and said. "No, but you took the piss out of him often enough."

With that he walked away.

I called out to his back. "Please, look after him?" I saw Tony wave a hand. I took that as an acknowledgement. He was his best mate, I'm sure he would anyway.

It was that first week back at work after Simon left, I got called into Robert and Marcie's office. There was a long chat. I left the office feeling ashamed but somehow better.

I talked to Julie, Claire, Sharon and Brian. Sharon was not much use. I think she had her own agenda, but all of my previous friends had to be included. Gerald was not there.

I received the Conditional Order some seven weeks after that Friday night. Simon kept on paying enough money into the account to pay the mortgage. I kept a strict copy of everything I spent just in case it didn't go the way I planned. I would make this as painless as I could for the man I loved.

He was still living with his sister.

It was the week following receiving the Conditional Order.

I knew he'd be in the rugby club Thursday night. Yeah, it was his tradition he did it a couple of times a month since we've been married and probably every Thursday before we were together. I had the envelope in my hand. I had a quick peek through the door of the club without going in. I could just see him by the bar, he was laughing with Tony and a few of his mates, but there was a hollow look about him. He saw me peeking. He just nodded then turned back to his mates.

It was 45 minutes later when he came out just before closing time. I was glad they didn't have a lock in.

"Can I walk with you please?" I asked.

He just nodded.

I tried to slip my arm through his, he hesitated then moved me to the inside of the pavement and then allowed me to do it. Then he said something that shattered my increasing hopefulness. "Don't get the wrong ideas, it's what gentlemen do. I try to be a gentleman and sometimes I succeed, but trust me it's bloody hard work with you at the moment."

We walked on in silence heading towards his sister's place. About halfway there I said. "Simon, I know I fucked up. Right royally fucked up, I'm not going to fight the divorce, but I love you and I think you love me still despite what I've done to you. I have an alternative solution." I handed him the envelope I got from the solicitors. I carried on. "Please read this. There is a letter. If you disagree, I will sign the divorce papers."

He started to open it. I laid my hand over his. "No, please wait till you get home. Sit down have a beer and read it, read it again in the morning. Talk to Jen about it, talk to anyone. I've taken advice from Julie, Claire, even Brian." I gave a small soulless laugh. "I asked Sharon but discounted her advice."

We were at the front door of his sister's house. He had his keys in one hand and my hope in the other. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you, I'm sorry."

I walked away before he could see the tears fall.

The Letter

My dearest darling husband, for you are still my husband and I hope with this letter you will continue to be my husband until the day we both draw our last breath.

You and Tony suspected I was having an affair. I have never emotionally nor physically cheated on you. I have loved you from the time I first met you, I love you now and forever. Those vows I took on our wedding day still hold true Including 'for better or for worse'.

I will take any test you can devise to prove I have not cheated on you.

I will admit I have not been a good wife since I moved into QA and probably before that. I have several excuses but none of them stand up in the cold light of day.

My hubris in thinking I knew better because I had done those jobs is one of them.

You were right when you told me I treated my friends badly, the 'She Devil' comment was right on the spot. They were kind enough to forgive me. The flirting with Gerald was out of order, even if he was gay. It has been confirmed he's not. The extra work I put in is the only reasonable excuse I have, the rest are all shabby.

I never looked at the jokes and comments I was saying as disrespectful to you. They were supposed to be light-hearted little quips. I was wrong, so bloody wrong. That was shallow, naive and self-centred of me. But that is not the way you and everybody else saw it. I was the only stupid one.

You were correct, when I noticed they stopped laughing, I doubled down. It is a small consolation but you're not the only butt of my jokes. My family were, but my workmates didn't know them, they knew you. I was unfair to my family as well. I have admitted to them what I did.

I'm not a leopard so I can change my spots. I'm not a cheater so I cannot cheat on you. But I can change, I changed for the worse when I moved sections. I can change for the better. It not only affected you, but my friends and family, for that I wholeheartedly apologise.

I will carry out any reasonable request. I am still employed in the QA section. The week after you left, I was called to see Robert and Marcie and was given a lecture on my performance and attitude. It was not good. They, like a lot of other people, expected me to mellow my approach after six to eight weeks. They were disappointed in me. They were already aware of the altercation at the party, and I must admit I broke down in tears and let everything out.

They could have given me a formal warning but instead it was support and help. They said I had great potential because of my skill, but my attitude needed an adjustment. I have taken their warning to heart.

Please feel free to contact any of my friends and work mates to see if that is true. Although may I suggest Sharon may have a biased view.

I have explained to all of my friends that you have not changed, you are still the man you have always been, kind, considerate, loving and I hope forgiving. I am the one that was wrong. I was the one that changed and I asked for their help to change back, to point out to me when I got things wrong. They have, bless them, even Sharon to some extent, but I believe she still has her own agenda.

Gerald is no longer employed with us. After my talk with Robert and Marcie it appears Gerald did not follow the law or company policy. He did not advertise the job or carry out any interviews. That was all a fabrication. He was given a letter of formal reprimand and a warning. I suspect if the company had not just received that big order, he would have been sacked. But that is not the end of it. It appears the lady Brian saw him going to the lift with was married. We don't know how, but the husband found out and Gerald had a visit. He has left town. He had a black eye and was limping the last time I saw him.

We are recruiting for a temporary head of QA. I would rather not leave as it would cause major disruption in the company. But I will if you simply ask I will.

I have made Robert and Marcie aware that I would like the head of QA in the fullness of time if I meet the requirements.

I can change back and learn from my mistakes, but I can't do it unless you're here to see it. I need you back in my life to prove to you that I could become your wife like before and learn from my mistakes and be a better wife.

I also admit I will need your help to point out any errors and flaws that I have.

It is not just about the sex, you were always excellent, you reached all the places you needed to. I was always satisfied. I was the one that let the side down.

But what I really miss is our day to day life together, just being around each other, just being there.

Sorry, I had to take a break.

That corset was uncomfortable; the wire was poking in the wrong place. It was a cheap one. We didn't want to spend money on something that might not do anything for us. Seeing your enthusiasm and your performance that night we should have gone further and found one that was comfortable for me. Again, it was me that led us down the wrong path.

I have a proposal, if you turn it down, I will not contest the divorce.

The attached solicitor's letter says in legalese.

I would like to put the divorce on hold for six months to give me time with your, our families and my friends help to prove to you that I can once again be your loving wife, the one you deserve.

If at any time in those six months I disrespect you, take a joke too far, flirt with anybody except you. Behaving any manner that disrespects the vows we took on our wedding day you can restart the divorce proceedings which I will not contest.

I know you to be an honest, honourable man and will not take advantage of my proposal. I believe you still love me which makes what I did to you even more awful.

I wish to stay married to you, but unfortunately there is a timeline for this. We have approximately 20 weeks.

Please talk to whomever you need, and I will abide by your decision.

I do ask one thing, that you confirm you've read this letter.

I suspect you will want to talk about details. I will meet you anytime, any place that you wish.

Your loving wife.

Denise

I was on tenterhooks every time a knock came at the door, or my phone made a noise I rushed to see what it was.

Julie took me out for a drink that Friday night. I had not told her about the letter, if Simon contacted her, I wanted her to give her honest opinion. She asked me what was wrong. At work I was lacklustre, lethargic. Then there were bursts of energy as if I was trying to bury something. I was about to tell her when I saw Sharon walk in.

Bugger.

I could see she was with a man, but I couldn't see him clearly. He had the same build and hair colour as Simon. I almost burst into tears. Until Simon walked past the two of them directly towards us. He had a purposeful stride.

He didn't look much better than he had several weeks ago, but he had some papers in his hand. He said hello to Julie.

Looking at me, he placed the papers in front of me. "Did you mean this?"

I recognised it as the letter I wrote him.

"With all my heart." I said looking him square in the eyes.

What was he doing here? How did he find us? Fuck it, it doesn't matter, he is here.

Looking towards Julie he said. "What's she been like at work?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is she still the pretentious bitch?"

Julie threw her head back and laughed. That was the last thing I expected. "How did you hear about that? Never mind, no she isn't, after you left and the bollocking she got off Robert and Marcie along with some help with her friends she's almost back to normal."

"What do you mean normal?"

Julie reached to take Simon's hand and I saw her squeezed it. "She misses you. She has periods of depression and then bursts of energy as if she's trying to get over something. But no, we almost have our old Denise back," she gave a little giggle. "The only person she takes the mickey out of is herself. She came round the shop floor the other day with two different safety shoes on."

I gave a weak smile. The one on my right foot was mine. On my left foot was Gerald's. I didn't know a man had such small feet.

"You ladies need a drink?"

He wasn't leaving. I almost burst into tears. Let's not get above myself, that got me into trouble before.

We both agreed, he walked away without asking what we wanted. I think he knew us well enough. He came back and sat down. Red wine for us, it will be a Merlot and a pint of ale for him. He slid in beside me. It was hard to stop the tears from flowing down my face.

The letter was still sitting on the table. I could tell Julie wanted to pick it up. I pulled it onto our side of the table away from her.

We sat there in silence, somebody had to break the ice. It was Julie. "How did you find us?" Not why, but how.

"I'm still tracking her phone. I was going to give her a call, then I saw she was here. I suspected she was meeting somebody or here with a friend." He gave a small smile. "I'm glad it was you."

He was wondering If I was seeing another man. That was never going to happen.

"So, what's this all about then?" Julie asked.

Simon reached into his pocket and pulled out a letter, he slid it across to me. "The answer is a provisional yes. Take this letter home, read it tonight, read it again tomorrow. Discuss it with whomever you wish, and I will see you here next Friday, same time," he looked at Julie. "Alone." Then back at me. "If you're here, we will have things to discuss. If you're not, we carry on as we are now and the divorce goes ahead."

I started to open the letter he reached across and touched my hand. I felt a shock rush through me. "No wait till you get home, get a glass of that nice Shiraz and read it."

He took a sip of his beer. He passed me across a handkerchief, tears were pouring down my face. But he was looking at Julie. "We've not spoken for a while, how are things with you, how's work? Got yourself a boyfriend yet, whoops bit personal, how's your Mum and Dad."

I have absolutely no idea what happened in the next hour or so. I was dying to get home. Sod the glass of Shiraz.

I know we took a taxi home. Julie was confused and she wanted to come in with me. I told her I had something to do on my own, but I would call her tomorrow.

I was tearing the envelope open as I walked up to the front door. I started reading In the dim streetlight. The first words struck me to my heart. " I love you. I have loved you from the time I first met you, I love you now and forever. Those vows I took on our wedding day still hold true Including 'for better or for worse'."

My words. I got the front door open, took a deep breath and realised his advice was solid. I poured that glass of Shiraz, a big one. I was glad I was not working tomorrow.

I sat at the kitchen table, the next words were Simon in business mode. "It is a provisional yes but there are conditions. Some are negotiable, some are not." and in typical Simon fashion there was a list of what he expected of 'us' and I loved the word, he said, 'us' not 'me', or 'you', but 'US' to do. I read them. There was nothing in there that didn't surprise me. I read it again. And again, and again. I could find nothing in there that I would not do to save my marriage.

A small smile crossed my face. I was glad he didn't ask me to bump Gerald off.

I went to bed and had the best sleep I'd had in months.

The following morning I re-read his letter over tea and toast. I'd planned to give Julie a call and meet this evening when my phone rang. It was her. It would take too long to explain over the phone. I invited her round.

I think she broke every speed limit getting here. I showed her my letter then I showed her Simon's response. She looked at me and said, "well?"

"What do you bloody think!"

She smiled. "Well, I'd better start looking for my own man again then as yours is not going to become available."

The bitch, she came around the table and hugged me whispering in my ear. "Don't fuck it up this time, okay."

Apart from Julie I kept this to myself. Although people at work noticed I was much happier, even Marcie mentioned it.

There was no mention in Simon's letter of me not contacting him. I sent him a simple text. "If I'm not there on Friday it's because I'm no longer on this earth."

Simon's letter had not mentioned anything about clothing but Wednesday afternoon I visited our local Victoria's Secret. I asked their advice, and they allowed me to try on clothing. The extra expense was well worth it, even I thought I looked stunning in a waist clinching purple satin corset.

Thursday evening, I fitted the new garage door hinges, Brian told me how to do it. Claire helped.

I was early the next Friday. My heart was racing when Simon walked through the door. He looked better.

I already had a drink for him, he sat down. "We have things to discuss." He said gently.

"Not really, there are few minor things I would like to bring up. But they can wait until tomorrow. But now I want you to tell me about work, rugby, Tony. Then I want you to take me home. Then in the morning we will discuss the letter over tea and toast like we used to."

We finished our drinks and he walked with me to the door. He held it open for a couple we saw approaching the door. Sharon walked in with the bloke we saw her with last week. She looked at me, smiled and whispered. "Bugger."

As we walked, I took hold of Simon's arm and wrapped it around my waist. He would feel the corset.

I was still wearing it the following morning.

Was it easy, no, did I get things wrong occasionally, yes, but there was nothing drastic, a gentle reminder was all it took.

We reverted to our original baby making plans.

Being head of QA could wait.