Kinkmaster Ssn. 01 Ep. 02 Pt. 04

This is a parody of a popular UK television show. It is written as a narrative for the show. It is not that heavy on actual sex stuff. (There is, just not a lot.) But it would feature a few things that allude to it.

The show is separated into

1. Studio Part, where they discuss the performance of specific missions.

2. Filmed Part, where they do specific missions.

~~~~~ short divider is used to denote transition between different Filmed parts.

~~~~~~~~~~ long divider is used to denote transition between Studio Part and Filmed parts.

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Geoff said, "Welcome back to the last part of Kinkmaster, we just saw a bunch of sex performers outwitted by a nerd, while being fooled by a cat. Little Ana Grace, the score for that task, please?"

Ana reported, "Axel only managed to keep her for 15 seconds, he came last. Simon only got her for 3 minutes. Then Ryu managed to get her for 4 minutes 20, so actually not bad. Carol got her in that super hot scene for 45 minutes. But Xenia had her napped there for about 3 hours. Xenia won a task for the first time! "

The crowd applauded, followed by Geoff saying, "Contestants, please go up to the stage for the final task of the show!"

Ana and the contestants went up to the stage. Ana stood on the right side and the rest of them were on the left side, holding up an A3 size whiteboard each.

Ana said, "Xenia, could you please read the task please.

Xenia read it, "Guess correctly how many points the special guest gets on her bingo card. Closest guess wins. 3 Bonus points available."

"So, remember the bingo card task earlier in this episode? So to help the contestants understand better what is to come for that, we are here to do a special round of that game, and hopefully, by completing this task, they can play that game more strategically in the remaining 3 episodes." said Ana.

The contestants nod, but who knows how much they actually understand?

"And to do so, we have to have a special guest as the test subject. So please welcome Malin, who you all knew from before."

As she said so, the gorgeous blonde woman walked out behind Ana from the right side of the stage, this time fully-clothed, even though she is visually impaired, she seems to have a good sense of her surroundings, and does not require a stick or someone to help her. She was dressed in a grey business suit and skirt, and black pantyhose. She waved to the crowd, with a smile on her face this time.

Ana said. "We have asked Malin to answer those questions we asked you before, for your bingo card. And just to refresh our memories, here are the questions we asked you and now her. And she clicked her tablet, the questions were shown on the big screen. Completed with the voices we heard during that task, but in a voice-over.

A/ Write down your biggest kink in a maximum of 3 words. Try to be as specific as possible.

B/ Make up a safeword.

C/ Write down a secret about yourself. Could be anything.

D/ And then write down numbers 1,2,3,4,5 in any order you like. No repetition.

Ana continued, "And this is her bingo card." The bingo card appeared on the screen:

Top left = Satisfy your biggest kink.

Top centre = [covered in scratchable]

Top right = Another contestant said your safeword.*

Middle left = [covered in scratchable]

Middle centre = Correctly guess 6 out of the 12 items written by your fellow contestants.

Middle right = [covered in scratchable]

Bottom left = Reveal your secret non-verbally.

Bottom centre = [covered in scratchable]

Bottom right = [covered in scratchable]

*If you said your safeword yourself, this grid would be voided.

"I hope this is clear so far. So for the live task," Ana is slowing down to say the next part very slowly, "Malin is going to talk for about 1 minute. She is going to give you some hints about her kink, her safeword and her secret. Your task is just to guess how many bingo points she would have got based on that talk. So in other words, how many lines she has completed on the bingo card."

Ana continued, "And to give you a big hint. She will not get the Middle-centre one because she will not guess yours, she is part of the production and she already knows what you have written. So the maximum point she will get is 4. Ok? So at this stage this is more or less just luck, so you can write down any number now if you want, but you should also pay attention to her talk, because for a bonus point each, we will also ask you to guess the three things she had to write down."

"It will become obvious. I promise. So without further ado, Malin, please take the stage."

Malin nodded, then started talking at a calm pace, "My biggest kink has been satisfied during today's show. Although it might not have been what you think. In fact, it might have been the last thing that you think it is. It is only 2 words that I wrote."

She paused here, then continued, "My safeword has also been said by someone in this episode, would you believe it? Oh it wasn't even in the previous task that I was in, just as I thought the possibility of it happening was shrinking smaller and smaller, there, someone just said it like that."

She paused again, giving the contestants time to think, then said "Obviously I cannot tell you what my secret is. If you paid enough attention, you should have got it, or maybe you are not getting it. Although you should know, there is nothing to be shameful about."

"Ok thank you Malin, Contestants, you may guess now how many points she has got on her bingo card first" Said Ana.

They did, they might have taken longer but the edit made it look short.

They first revealed how many points she would have got. Axel went for 3, Carol went for 2, Ryu went for 2 as well, Simon went for 1 and Xenia also went for 2.

Ana said, "Okay, now this is the part that is the most complicated, we are now going to reveal the scratchable session and what they say. However, they are NOT the same items that YOU have on YOUR bingo card, these are just examples of what those could be."

So she went on and scratched all of those off. This is what the full bingo card looks like after that:

Top left = Satisfy your biggest kink.

Top centre = Malin is taller than exactly 3 contestants.

Top right = Another contestant said your safeword.*

Middle left = There were exactly 5 different couples who had sex during this episode.

Middle centre = Correctly guess 6 out of the 12 items written by your fellow contestants.

Middle right = Someone has won exactly 1 task(s) up to this point.

Bottom left = Reveal your secret non-verbally.

Bottom centre = Someone had oral sex during the 2nd task today.

Bottom right = Exactly 4 contestants guessed my bingo point correctly.

*If you said your safeword yourself, this grid would be voided.

Ana looked at the card, she could not work out immediately what was actually correct as well. But luckily she has the production team speaking in her ear via the ear piece.

"So You see how the 1,2,3,4,5 work? Except that in your bingo card, the items would be different from this one, but the same for all 5 of you. Except the numbers are different based on what you have chosen." Ana explained.

"But anyway, let's see if Malin got any point here at all. So she did say that her kink was satisfied. Remember, this does not have to be done by yourself, if someone else has done it, we count that for you as well based on the fact that we assume you'll get off just watching."

She is exactly taller than all the 3 female contestants so she got that right! She was also telling the truth when she said someone has said her safeword, so she got the top-row, that's one point"

Let's see, someone in my ear is saying there are exactly 5 couples that had sex, as we are not counting the group scene, that's Axel and Malin, Des and Linda, Ollie and Petra, oh we are counting the one where they just talk to each other's genitals? Okay. Then Des and Petra, Carol and Felicia. So she got that one right as well!"

The crowd is elicited to cheer. So they did.

"So, no for her in the centre..... Someone won exactly 1 task! That's Xenia! She got that one right as well.

She has revealed her secret. She got that one. She got the left column as well, so that's 2 bingo points!

But second task, that's the one with Malin in the cage, no, no one had any oral sex so it didn't count. And I don't think 4 people have had the same answer so she didn't get the last one either. So she got 2 lines in the bingo. That's 2 points, that means the 3 ladies have got the 5 points and 4 points for the two gentlemen."

Geoff chimed in at this point and said, "But this is not finished, now for a bonus point each, could you write down Malin's 3 mystery answers. Let's go for her biggest kink first."

They have all got something written down.

Geoff said, "Now, let's reveal them one by one. Now remember, that's something that has happened in this episode. What do we think, Ryu, what have you put?"

Ryu went for "Hard bondage", Simon went for "Blindfolded Sex", Axel went for "Sex Noises" Carol and Xenia both went for "Furry Sex". Geoff asked, "Malin, what's your actual kink?"

Malin turned around her board, "It said, Auditory Voyeurism. So I like listening to people having sex, dirty talk and so on. But the word Voyeur means to peek and it would not be fathomable for someone who is blind."

Geoff said, "Oh so no one got it right..... oh Axel put Sex Noises. Shall we give him a point?"

Malin smiled and nodded. Geoff said, "1 point for Axel Martinez!"

Geoff went on, "Ok next up, what is her safe word? Her safe word, write it down."

The contestants went on and wrote something down.

Geoff continued, "Okay, let's see the answers. Carol, what have you gone for?"

Carol put, "Negroni", when asked, she said, "she looked like she'd drink Negroni."

Ryu put, "Hiccup", she said she just thought of it, and H means sex in Japanese so she thought it was something started with H.

Axel put, "Gherkin", said he had no idea, but just remembered that bit from the beginning and thought it was funny.

Both Simon and Xenia has gone for "Therapy", they both said they chose it because she said the word Shrinking s bit differently"

Geoff said, "Malin, please reveal your answer."

Malin turned her board around, and it was "Therapy", to which Ryu and Carol's body language was like, "Oh of course!"

Geoff then said, "Okay, the last one, what is the secret?"

They all put something down and Geoff asked them to reveal.

Simon, Ryu, Xenia have all got, "Written the academic paper in that task."

Even Carol figured it out. "The doctor from that paper." She put it because she remembered trying to scrutinise the board for clues in that task and the name of the author M. Satkowski stuck in her mind.

The rest of them also remember that paper, and were able to put two and two together when her safe-word is 'therapy' and she said, there is no shame in "not getting it". The paper is about some people unable to orgasm unless certain conditions are met.

At this point everyone thinks they are right. Geoff asked Axel to reveal his answer. He turned his board around, and it said, "Ana's wife."

Everyone was grasping at that answer. Geoff smiled and asked him why did he think that.

Axel said, "Well for one thing, they are wearing pretty similar rings from what I can see here.

And then I remembered you said (pointing at Ana) your wife really enjoyed that one task with the cage, and I hope that was referring to me making her cum. So that's what I put."

Geoff is still smiling and looks at Ana, then looks at Malin, asks, "Malin, could you reveal your answer?"

Malin also smiles, revealing her answers, "Author of the academic paper.", but she said, "Yes I am the author of that academic paper, but I am also married to Ana here." She said, moving towards Ana and reaching out her left hand, in which Ana instinctively took it with her right hand. Now it is up close together, we can see the wedding bands they wear. Axel is right, while they are not extravagant nor with a lot of diamonds. They are both elegant and almost identical.

Ana followed up and said, "But it is not a secret, we have not made it public intentionally, but people who need to know know. Most of our crew knew."

Axel said, "Oh, okay. Sorry I fucked your wife." He turned to Malin, said, "I'm sorry I fucked your wife."

Malin chuckled and said, "It's okay, we know what we signed up for. This is not unusual in our relationship. I enjoyed listening to you having sex with my darling Ana. However, I must clarify, although I enjoyed your thrusts too, technically you did not make me cum, Xenia did." She then turned to Xenia's general direction and smiled. Xenia just smiles back and nods awkwardly.

Geoff said, "Well anyway, let's come back down and tally up the score!"

They all came back down. Malin has gone backstage.

Geoff said, "Firstly we must thank Dr. Malin Satkowski for agreeing to participate in the show. She is not one of the performers in our club. But I'm glad to announce that she has just agreed to be our in-house therapist."

The crowd applauded. Some were wondering, 'Didn't Geoff call Ana his pet or something? What is the deal with these people? It is quite bizarre that the therapy was willing to be fully naked and get pounded for this game as well.' The audience are no stranger to this industry and they are pretty open about these things, many of them have inexplicable relationships themselves, but they still can't help being curious because it is quite bizarre.

Geoff continued, "Now, the score please Ana "someone's wife"?" he said sarcastically.

Ana said, "So hopefully everyone now knows better about the bingo card thing. And for that task, after tallying up all the points, it was Xenia who got the highest 7 points! She won another task!" The crowd cheered and supported.

Ana continued, "But with 23 points, the winner of this episode is...... Ryu Fukumi!"

Ryu raised the smallest smile from the corner of her mouth. The other contestants all cheered and applauded her.

Geoff yelled, "Ryu Fukumi, please go up to the stage and collect all the unintentional sex toys!" And so she went.

Geoff is going to sum up, "So, what have we learned today? We learn that there are many things and many positions that people can have sex with. We also learned that even if you are an annoying sex craved nerd, you can still find a mate for life if that person is blind. But most importantly, we learn that Ryu Fukumi is the winner of the second Kinkmaster episode!"

Ryu got up, she sort of got intrigued by the Gherkin and she looked closely at the toy Axel. But she didn't get any closer to the mortar and pestle, or the panties, or the toy snake.

The credits roll together with the familiar yet slightly porny theme song.

(Episode 2 ends here.)