Just an Average Guy

Just An Average Guy

John Smith was celebrating his thirty-sixth birthday. Well, if the truth was known, John was not celebrating. As John got home from work today, he suddenly realized what a rut he was in.

Someone at work today had been busy looking up data for a new project. In the process, they had said something to John that according to the latest data, the average American male was 36 years old. That struck a chord with John in a negative way.

Peggy, his wife, was not home from her job as a schoolteacher, yet. John just sat there and considered his situation. After the guy at work mentioned the average male age, John was not doing much of anything, so he decided to see how he stacked up with other men, on average.

John found the average 36-year-old, white, male, was:

Weight: 200 pounds,

height :5" 9",

hair color: blk or brown and going gray

Penis size soft, 3.61 inches soft girth 3.666 inches"

penis hard length 5.16 inches and hard: girth at 4.56.

Average wife: one

Average number of kids 2

"Yes," that was John all right!

John was sure that his name was most common, but it was only number 3. Number 1 is James and number 2 is Michael.

John also considered the subject of Mid-life identity crisis.

It was true, John was so average, except in penis size, he might as well not be at all. John was experiencing, at this very moment, the crisis thing.

Actually, Johns penis was just average, what ever that might be in his case.

By the time Peggy got home from school, John had worked himself in a very blue mood. Peggy said, "hi", as she passed through the house, but John just nodded.

Peggy thought that was a little strange, but continued to the kitchen, So average!

Of all the things that troubled John the most, was his penis. He had seen a porno site, several weeks ago, and had watched, while men with huge cocks, stuffed women, with pussies that seemed able to take anything known to the mind of man.

He had never felt inadequate before.

Peggy had never complained about the size of his penis, but maybe she didn't want to mention it. What if she had been wanting more all this time. John's fantasy was running wild. Why hadn't she said something?

Right then and there, John decided he was going to do something to correct the problem, but what?

First John got on the computer and started searching for items to make his cock bigger.

The first thing John looked at was, cock extenders. They were so simple, and cheap, so he ordered one.

By ordering before 10 PM, that evening, he was able to get one the next day. John tried it on ASAP, before Peggy got home from school, and decided that he would surprise her with it, that night.

John and Peggy had been married 15 years, and had reasonable, average sex lives including certain code words, known only to them, to indicate being horny.

That night, as John and Peggy got ready for bed, John approached her from behind as she was taking off her bra. As soon she got it off he grabbed her tits and said, "lets fuck." (No, no, no that was not how he did it!)

John came up behind her and laid his hands gently on her shoulders. Just for a moment. Then carefully, he reached around her and lightly rubbed her nipples. Peggy said, "feeling frisky tonight, are we?" John just kissed her ear and then tickled it with his tongue.

John had slipped the extender on in advance, and when Peggy laid down, spreading her legs invitingly, with a smile, John thought, "game on."

He crawled on top and guided his cock and the extender in. Peggy laid there for a minute, and then said, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Now Peggy is not prone to profanity but...

John backed out as fast as possible, and lost his balance, falling off the bed. Th extender flew his now soft cock and landed on the nightstand.

"What is that," Peggy said.

John did not really know what to say. Finally, he said, "Well, you remember the other night when we saw the porn video?" "Yes," she said.

John said, "I could see you looking at all those giant cocks, and I could tell that you wanted one. So, I decided, if that was what you wanted, I would get one for you." "That "thing" by the way, is known as a cock extender. It was the quickest thing I could find!"

"Well," Peggy said, "if you want something artificial get an artificial pussy, but I do not want an artificial dick." John was floored because he had never heard her talk like that before.

John was determined to give Peggy a bigger dick, so he continued to look for other solutions to his problem.

There are penis pumps, which look great but do not work. There are pills, that do not work. There are creams that do not work. There are certain stretching methods which do not work. In the end, there was NOTHING that worked. John was resigned to the fact that Peggy was just stuck, with what he had. But he did not give up and kept looking.

Peggy was getting worried about John and his obsession about his cock size. She had never had a reason to complain about his cock because even if it was average, it seemed to fit her alright.

In fact, when she saw the huge cocks on the computer, her first thought was, thank God, I do not have to take that.

Maybe John was dissatisfied with her! Yes, that was it! What was it that he was missing in her? What could it be?

Peggy decided to look at those porn sites again and see if she could figure out what John was unhappy about. She noticed that all those women on the porn sites had massive tits.

What could she do about that? Well, she thought, probably most of those porn tits were artificial and she sure as hell couldn't afford that.

Besides that, it occurred to her that having DD cups was not very appealing to her. She would have to buy new clothes (not that she wouldn't like some new clothes) but think of the disadvantages.

Number 1: They would throw her off balance and she could see herself falling over on the new tits and hurting herself.

Number 2: The problem of having to look over them as she graded student papers at school.

Number 3: The obvious, the teachers at school would probably find the new tits as obscene and a big distraction for everyone.

Number 4: She liked the tits she was born with so John and everyone else could go pound sand.

By now Peggy was getting all worked up that John was not satisfied with who she was.

The only thing Peggy could see to do was maybe get some new bras or panties but no cutouts for the nipples or thong panties, because the string up your ass crack did not seem all that appealing or comfortable to her.

That is unless John got some first and saw how HE would like it.

By now, John and Peggy were both skulking around the house in a bad mood.

At some point John mentioned the "average cock" perceived problem and indicated that he would like to have at the very least, a 9-inch cock. Peggy choaked!

What was the matter with him? After John got to talking about averages and all that, Peggy had done her own checking on averages and found that they were both well, average.

Nine-inch cock, my ass thought Peggy. She had found out that the average white female had a vagina that was2.7 to 5.8 in long and 1.9 to 2.56 in wide. It worked for her.

The fact that some porn site showed someone shoving their arm in somebody's pussy up to the elbow seemed plain gross and on top of that stupid.

But we return to the problem,

Finally, one Saturday night, John and Peggy were sitting in the living room drinking, which was not normal for either of them. They were both in a depressed mood, they were not used to the root beers.

John was beginning to feel guilty for the situation and finally decided that he had to admit to Peggy that he was not going to be able to solve his penis problem.

He said, "Peggy I'm so sorry that my cock is so small I know you want a bigger one." Then Peggy said, "John I am sorry too, that my tits aren't any bigger."

They sat there for a few minutes till finally Peggy said, "John, who told you that I wanted a bigger cock?" And besides I cannot do anything to make my tits bigger."

She continued, John, I have never thought you needed a larger cock. What you have fits me just fine. I know those porn sites might make you think it would be better but consider the problems you would have with a 9-inch cock.

Where would you put it. Not in me that is for sure because I have an average 5-inch pussy. And then there is the problem of where to put it. I guess down one of your pant legs, but I think that would be uncomfortable.

There would be another problem and that is what if you got horny thinking about my pussy and got a hard-on somewhere and embarrass yourself. There is nothing wrong with what you have. It's my cock, I like it, so don't tell me I have bad taste. So, there.

"Well let's just stop right there," John said. I have never complained about your breasts. I have always appreciated them because they fit you perfectly. They are big enough to get a grip on, big enough to jiggle, and besides that you have nice puffy nipples that just say kiss me. I wouldn't want you to change anything.

John and Peggy just sat there and smiled at each other. John said, "I guess we haven't communicated very well. I suppose that's kind of "average" after 15 years. I guess we need to appreciate each other more. Let's set aside more time for each other by doing something I saw on the internet the other day. Let's have "date nights."

"That sounds great," said Peggy. "And beside that, I am going to pay more attention to your cock from now on." But you need to tell me if there is something you would like."

"Actually, there is something I would like to do," said John. "I have always wanted to shave your pussy and then eat your peach. Do you think that could happen?"

"Why didn't you say something?"

John said, "Just bashful, I guess. "Well, when do you want to do that," Peggy said.

John said, "Would now be too soon?"

That night John and Peggy did things they never did before, more than once, and were never worried about average, again.