Of Comets And Celestial Bodies

It was a large crowd. I don't like crowds, but it was a festive atmosphere and a good night for people watching. So I wasn't too uncomfortable and the women were out in force wearing their finest party dresses and looking like ornaments from a Christmas tree. Beautiful women in gorgeous party dresses, LBDs, strapless gowns and everything in between. Tonight was a little special. A party at a local gallery, a jazz quartet, some free appetizers and drinks until late in the night. The only reason I attend these things is to escape the house for a few hours. I was never the bar or party type, and pretty much an introvert. I rarely even speak to anyone at these events and usually kept to myself, but somehow things changed a bit for me on this particular night.

She had stepped in front of me heading toward the dance floor. A stunning redhead in a jade green velvet gown with a short train in the back trailing behind her. Her auburn hair fell about her shoulders like a mane and cascaded down her back like a waterfall. Her leg rhythmically flashing from the slit that ran up to her waist with every other step she took. The toned leg of a dancer taught and shapely perched on four inch heels and gracefully dragging a ten inch shoe comet. Yeah, that kind of comet, a streamer of toilet paper stuck to the sole of her shoe. I knew from experience that it had the potential to be a great source of embarrassment or at least it was for me when I found myself in the same condition at another point in time. I felt it would be the chivalrous thing to do to rescue her from the potential party faux pas. If I simply stepped forward a few steps I could place my left foot on the tail of the comet and wait until she stepped away herself then inconspicuously remove the offensive item from the floor without making a scene.

Man plans, god laughs. Just as I started forward a group of people between us found a punchline to their conversation, gasps, giggles and an awkward step back into my path had me trying to adjust course and tripping over my own feet and landing at the redheads. Not just at her feet but my hand on the train of her dress pinning it to the floor, of course the natural thing for her to do was turn and look to see what the disturbance was. As she turned toward me her left leg appeared from the slit usually occupied by the right, giving me the finest showcase of femininity I'd been party to this century. My recovery was slowed by the beauty that had been exposed to me, as my eyes scanned up the leg to her crotch and froze momentarily there pondering the auburn landing strip and rosie labia exposed in front of me. It was a struggle but I managed to force my eyes to her face as she politely asked "Like what you see, perv?". Ok the "perv" was just implied but I could feel it ringing in my head. It was just what I needed to lift my hand releasing her train allowing it to follow the the twist of her body and helping the slit to close and then expose the right leg as she stepped back with her left. I tapped her shoe slightly and indicated she should raise her foot a little then snagged the offensive tail of the comet since it was now exposed and her eyes widened at realizing what was now in my hand. Of course as much rapid movement as had occurred tended to attract the attention of everyone standing nearby. So rather than the discrete suave comet capture I had planned I had caused a scene and drawn the eye of everyone in the vicinity.

Kneeling on one knee at her feet I was in the classic "would you marry me" position staring up at one of the most beautiful natural redheads I'd ever seen. I looked up at her in awe seeing a goddess on earth as she stared down at me with a slight smile of recognition on her face, possibly recognising that I was trying to rescue her from the offensive shoe comet. She was beautiful with a smile that could melt an ice sculpture and cool green eyes that sparkled with a mischief that inspired me. In a sorry attempt to throw humor at an already awkward situation, I spoke " Well if you won't accept my proposal, How about helping me off the ground?"

"I haven't heard your proposal, Just what are you proposing?"

" Uh, cocktails and a slow dance or two?" stumbled out of my mouth.

"Well how about I accept your proposal, If you can get up on your own?" Ouch I thought, was there an implied "grandpa" at the end of that sentence? But with that kind of motivation and a slight strain in my joints I spread my arms down and out, dropped my head down as if bowing but mainly to hide my grimace and slowly rose to a standing position. She smiled graciously and took my arm, whispering "You're very sweet, thank you." in my ear as she pulled my arm to her breast and we walked toward the bar.

"By the way, you never answered my question." She met my confused look and continued, "Did you like what you saw?" I could feel my face flush red.

"It was absolutely the most eroticilly beautiful sight I've seen in decades"

"Well I hope so, you sure had a eyeful"

"As a gentleman. discretion dictates that I close my eyes when presented with such a sight, I couldn't even tell you what color panties you were wearing" forcing a snicker from her lips. I leaned closer and whispered in her ear. "But it did seem as though they were made of angel hair and honeysuckle nectar. Such beauty you hide behind that green dress"