Whorrespondent

"Is it like the old Playboy magazine, you have essays there by the modern day equivalent of Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley Jr.?" -- Justice Samuel Alito

When Justice Samuel Alito first made that comment, it went around the Internet as a joke. People thought of Alito as an out-of-touch geriatric who didn't understand online smut.

But not me. Granted, few people are journalists, and their ideas of the First Amendment are "I can say what I want without any consequences, but I can get others fired who offend me."

As a journalist, I know how porn has often been used to expand free speech rights, with Larry Flynt like fighting in the court as much as he did publishing porn. But specifically with Playboy, every writer worth their byline knows that the inclusions of the articles was a key step to avoiding obscenity charges. It even became the subject of a case in 1986, when federal judge Thomas F. Hogan ruled that Congress defunding the braille edition of Playboy was unconstitutional censorship.

So, I rolled my eyes at people who thought they were one-upping Justice Alito with that statement, and I joked to some former colleagues that Pornhub was going to have to hire a bunch of laid off journalists to win their court cases.

A day later, I got a message on LinkedIn.

#

Normally I would joke that LinkedIn was the first site I would ban. It's rife with scammers, self-promoters, and all sorts of obscenity that is considered okay because it's in pursuit of profit.

But this message was actually legitimate. A former editor of mine reached out.

"Hey, Greg, how's it going? Did you see that Alito comment on Gore Vidal and Playboy? Well, Pornhub's lawyers got what Alito was saying. They reached out to me, but I am too old to pick some fights on behalf of smut peddlers, but perhaps you would be willing to?"

I hadn't worked in journalism for four years, a victim of post-COVID cuts. I had managed to get a job with a PR company, consulting with brand management and the media, which was more degrading to a journalist than being in pornography.

My options were to take on a client that was promoting an "AI-powered, blockchained-based sports-betting analysis engine," or doing journalism that was legal cover for a major porn company. The ethics were clear: Porn was the better option.

#

With my old editor's backing, I was a shoo-in for the position. Not that porn has the highest standards.

But I had enough of a history in print, broadcast, and online to qualify. The lawyers were more than happy to have my name attached, since it would help in their legal case. So, I became the Editor in Chief of Pornhub News.

When the press release went out about it, it got its own levels of jokes: "Thigh Witness News," "Hardcore Hitting," "All the News That's Fit To Spit." "The Most Trusted Name In Nudes." The Internet had a field day. Luckily that was free advertising, and the mainstream news coverage pleased the lawyers. They arranged a sit-down interview with the New York Times to bolster their case that this was legitimate news. That wasn't how I imagined I'd be in the New York Times when I graduated journalism school, but I made it in somehow, I guess.

#

Like most modern professional news this wasn't well compensated. This was an attempt to get out just the right amount of content as cheap as possible.

But like most online content creators, you learn to make due in the best ways possible. My first hires weren't journalists, but those creators who knew strategies to stretch a minimal budget.

First was to acquire cheap content. Pornhub paid more than YouTube per view. If you search up Zara Dar, you will find an article about her SFW videos explaining machine learning on Pornhub made her a lot of money, more than YouTube would pay for the same video.

With higher payouts per view, and letting creators know they could talk like adults and say "fuck," we managed to scrape together a number of educational YouTubers to upload content. Mostly it was their older stuff repackaged, which was fine for us. The lawyers had a magic number of content hours they believe would raise the site out of "obscenity."

#

But it wasn't enough just to stuff the site with non-porn content. We needed to create original material.

First we contracted with Naked News to run their stuff. By co-branding, it bought us some time to get our daily news coverage off the ground, while allowing us to be able to show efforts to provide news.

Big news operations require bureaus, which are expensive to maintain. Luckily, there are unemployed journalists in every big market, and strip clubs there as well. We made arrangements with local strip clubs in big cities across the country. In exchange for them setting up basic broadcasting facilities, we would use their club as our bureau. We had many takers, since the cost was relatively low on their end, and it would be cheap publicity.

With that we could have contract journalists serve as reporters from the field, as well as field pieces. One big idea that was a hit was having traveling porn stars already doing strip club tours stop by and do travelogue segments, highlighting the business, culture, and history of these cities. It wasn't Gore Vidal, but it was as good as any local PBS segment.

#

Now, your first thought must be, "You must be having fun being around all those porn stars!"

Well, you might be the same person chortling at Justice Alito. Our news office was far from the locations where porn was shot, and while there was more nudity on our screens than most newsrooms, it wasn't being produced in our headquarters.

That said, it would be easy to make that mistake, since I did make a stipulation for myself.

"I want to be on air, in a Hugh Hefner like role," I said during negotiations.

I had no illusions I would be welcomed back into mainstream news, and honestly no desire to return. While local news can actually be useful, it paid too little, and I didn't like the ratings-driven ethics of national news. If I was going in, I was going in all the way.

I arranged for a weekly interview show. It would feature a guests talking about adult entertainment, with information about their lives, career, and their case for adult entertainment as a legitimate art form in its own right. This expanded beyond performers to include academics, artists, musicians, and other cultural figures.

But mostly porn stars.

While the image was Hefner-like, there was no quid pro quo on interviews. In fact, the lawyers frowned on it. Nothing would excite the opponents more than a scandal. They needed to believe the worst in order to hide their shame in themselves.

But you can't be around the world of sex that much without being tempted and opportunities arising. You can fight off the darker side of yourself, which risks exploiting people to sate your own selfish desires. Or worse, justifying it to yourself because that is what others in your position would do.

But sometimes a moment comes up that is too interesting to turn down. That came when I met Zophia Barrett.

#

It started with my interview with Desi Lushy. It was a great interview about her rise as an Indian-American porn star, her directorial debut called Third Culture Threesome, and the opportunities and perils of relying on large platforms like OnlyFans and Pornhub to build careers.

"That was a great interview," Desi said after, "You really had good questions."

"I do my research to make each one unique to the subject," I said.

"You know, I have a friend who is a journalist. Well, was..."

I knew an ask when I heard it. Pornhub News had some viral fame, but was still sneered at by the mainstream establishment. Nevertheless, plenty of unemployed journalists desperate to do their profession were sending their resumes and clips every day.

"We're not hiring right now," I said, trying to close this out before it got awkward.

"She's not looking for a job," Desi said, "She's just a fascinated fan."

Desi put a flirtatious hand on my shoulder. This was dangerous territory.

"Are you offering a quid pro quo, because I can't -"

"A lunch, in public. You, me and her. If anything, I might just be chaperone to keep you on your best behavior," Desi said.

"Since when does Desi Lushy ever keep on anyone on their best behavior" I said, which was a quote from her Third Culture Threesome film.

She laughed.

"Maybe not. But I'm not lying. She's not looking for you to give her a job," Desi said.

"What does she want?" I asked.

"Inspiration," Desi said cryptically, and refused to elaborate further.

#

I took up the offer. I didn't expect that much to come out of it, but at the very least I would have grounds to ask for a (nonsexual) favor from Desi later for doing this. I didn't know what at the time, but when you run a news operation on a shoe-string budget, you need all the opportunities you can gather.

I met up with them at a Korean place. Zophia was gorgeous, hotter than I expected. She was of Italian heritage and had those Mediterranean good looks. Her old news clips, where she was more conservatively dressed for the Middle-American TV market, did her no favors.

We sat down to eat and Zophia told me her story.

"I guess it's a common story, I left college with big dreams of making it in broadcast journalism. It didn't hurt that I was good looking. But I knew just being pretty gets you a gig as a weather girl getting ogled on a forecast sponsored by the local DUI attorney. So, I was the editor of the college newspaper while doing the nightly broadcast. I was determined to make it," Zophia said.

"I got a job in a small local market, which, fine. I don't have connections, but a lot of people start there. But six months later I faced my first lay off. Then I bounce back, move across the country to another small market making basically minimum wage..."

She laid out a string of jobs and disruptions she'd faced in the intervening years.

"The one mistake I made was not taking a job as a press relations person for the CAA agency," she said.

"Did you want to take that?" I asked.

"I wanted to find my way to entertainment journalism. Something at E! News, or TMZ if I had to. But it was a low paid job, and I was afraid of running out of money, or having to work a second job while being on the clock," she said.

"Could you have made it work?" I asked.

She sighed.

"Probably, I was just too beaten down from the grind. I settled for taking a PR gig that came with a 401K and steady hours," she said.

I nodded.

"Desi said you were here in search of inspiration?" I asked.

"Yes, and not a job," she said, "I couldn't work in porn as a woman and come back. You know the double-standards."

"Even in a non-nude, just news role?" I asked.

"It would be a permanent mark on my career,," she said, "And I don't have the passion to go all in on it."

"So, if I did offer you a job right now, enough to get an apartment of your own, you would say no?" I asked

I could see the temptation cross her face, but she rejected it.

"No."

"Are you sure you won't regret this in a few years?" I asked.

"I won't. The fact is, the PR job at CAA was only the second biggest regret I had for saying no to something," she said.

"What was the first?" I asked, before taking a drink of tea.

"Not joining Desi when she did a gangbang with our college's men's lacrosse team," she said.

If you think I was lame enough to do a spit-take, adjust your expectations. I swallowed my tea and took another sip as I contemplated this.

"I would feel the same if I had the chance with my college women's gymnastics team and whiffed," I said.

"I suppose if you work in porn, you're not easily fazed," Zophia said.

"What does that regret have to do with me?" I asked.

I felt Desi's hand on my leg. I had already suspected something was up, but this confirmed it.

"You represent both sides of my regrets: You took a bold move to advance your career, and didn't flinch going into an erotic situation," Zophia said.

"Desi could give you access to a number of former jocks turned porn stars," I said.

"I never aspired to be an athlete, or marry one," Zophia said.

By now I felt Zophia's leg brush up against mine. Desi put a hand against Zophia's back, perhaps to offer support if I rejected Zophia's big step of boldly reaching for something she wanted.

"The thing is, simply hooking up with me wouldn't be that bold," I said, "I'm not even Hugh Hefner, though I put on that image. You are trying to replace having an orgy with your best friend."

Desi smiled.

"I think that was the mistake I made," Desi said, "The invite to that gangbang did come unexpectedly, but it wasn't my first group sex experience. I'd been partying hard for two years, working my way up to bigger numbers of partners. Zophia's body count was in single digits."

"A single dick," Zophia said, "My freshman year boyfriend who had dumped me. As much as I appreciate the offer in retrospect, you were a little off in suggesting that a gangbang was the cure for my first big broken heart."

"You barely had a broken hymen," Desi said.

"And you misread my interest in fooling around with you and one of your guys as an offer for an orgy," Zophia said.

"I was very myopic at the time. I forgot how few people had gone as far I was going," Desi said.

"Have you done anything like that since then?" I asked.

"No. Obviously I've had boyfriends who suggested a threesome, but they had no women lined up. And when your first chance at group sex is Desi... it's hard to bring yourself down to the same random woman when you had a chance at the best," Zophia said.

I looked over to Desi.

"You understand what makes this difficult for me," I said.

"Because of the same sense of propriety that held Zophia back," Desi said, "I'm in this for her, to give her another chance at what she missed."

I looked at Zophia.

"I'm equally into this to get with you and Desi," Zophia said.

I believed them. Desi's desire for Zophia to do this was obvious, and Zophia had done a lot to work up the nerve to ask this. But it wasn't quite enough for me.

"If we did this, where would you go with it? You can't just fuck Desi and I and go back to the day job. It would be an insult to both of us," I said.

"I have a plan," she said.

She laid out a plan for an entertainment news podcast. I listened, having no clue whether it would succeed or not. But she had thought it through, and this wasn't a lark.

"I've even drafted a letter of resignation for my day job," Zophia said.

"Send it," I said.

Her eyes went wide.

"I'm running a news operation in order to win a Supreme Court case for free speech and sex. Desi's literally putting it all out there every day. If you're not going all in, it's not worth our time," I said.

She pulled out her phone and brought up her drafts. She sent the email to her boss.

"There," she said.

#

We went to Desi's place, since she had anything we'd need for a threesome. We found our way to the bedroom.

"Where do we start?" Zophia asked.

"We start with you and Desi making out," I said, "If we're going to recapture some of that lost opportunity from college, then we need to start with you two fooling around like curious coeds. I want to see the enthusiasm before the world began to beat you down."

Zophia smiled at the suggestion. She turned to Desi to say something, but as soon as she opened her mouth Desi's tongue was inside. Desi was back in full form as the eager aggressor. I stood back and let Desi do her work.

Desi quickly had Zophia topless. Desi held Zophia from behind. Her mouth was on her neck, getting Zophia enraptured in pleasure, while her hands played with Zophia's breasts for my enjoyment. Desi was a natural for putting on a show.

Desi then got Zophia's skirt off, leaving her with nothing but her panties on. Desi took her time, teasing the reveal of Zophia's pussy. She slowly lowered Zophia's panties, revealing her trimmed pubic hair and pussy. Desi started rubbing and fingering Zophia's pussy

Zophia's panties fell to the floor. Desi then spun Zophia around toward her, revealing her shapely ass. Desi's hand returned to Zophia's pussy, causing Zophia's ass to clench. Desi lifted Zophia to her tiptoes, causing her glutes to stretch. Desi was an artist who could manipulate Zophia like clay, showing angles and making her ass into many spectacular forms.

Desi returned rubbing and fingering Zophia's pussy. Zophia moaned and started breathing fast.

"I'm going to cum, I'm going to cum," Zophia said in a tight whisper.

"That's the point," Desi said.

Zophia gave a gasp as she finally came. She looked Desi in the eye and kissed her. She began kissing down her body, going all the way down to her pussy.

"What are you doing down there?" Desi asked.

"I'm going to eat you out," Zophia said.

"Stand up," Desi ordered.

Zophia complied.

"I taught you everything you need to know about eating pussy in college. You're here to learn to take dick like a pro, to build you up for taking multiple men at once," Desi said.

Desi looked my way. It was my time to join in. I came over. Desi gave me a kiss while Zophia began to strip me down. I was naked in a minute.

"On the bed," Desi said.

I laid on the bed. Both of them joined me.

"When we do this for real, you need to know how to share and take direction," Desi said.

They began to share my cock in a double blowjob. It started with running their tongues along my shaft. Then they took turns sucking on it. Desi then started on one of my balls, while Zophia worked on the other.

"You have to be ready to use your mouth on anything put in front of it," Desi said.

"Of course," Zophia said.

Desi got a smirk on her face. She grabbed my thighs and lifted my legs.

"Further down," Desi said.

Zophia looked shocked at first. I don't doubt she would have done it on her own, but Desi took her by the hair and shoved her face down. Zophia began to lick my anus.

"You can't dream of being manhandled by a group of polite, vanilla men. The guys I will recruit have expectations. They aren't gathering together for some wilting flower that will just give them a basic blowjob," Desi said.

Zophia went at my ass with gusto, working her tongue to emphasize her commitment. I responded in kind, taking my dick in hand and tapping her on the forehead with it.

"Dickslapping is a sign you're doing it right," Desi said.

It went a few moments longer before Desi was ready to move the lesson along.

"Good girl, now let's work that throat," Desi said.

We got back in position.

"I always exercise my throat before doing a scene, but especially a hard gangbang. You wouldn't do an event at the Olympics without stretching, and every day I shoot is the Holympics," Desi said.

Desi demonstrated a slow routine to work her throat down my cock until she was deep throating me. Zophia followed her example, working her way down my shaft until her lips touched by balls. She came up for air.

"Very good. Now, you will have to be ready to do it with multiple dicks, and men holding your head down," Desi said.

Desi demonstrated by pushing Zophia's head down my dick. She held her in place.

"Learn to breathe through your nose," Desi said.

Zophia tried and lasted for a minute before giving up. She gasped for air.

"We'll work on that. That takes practice, especially when you're also taking dicks in your other holes, and your hands are stroking off two guys," Desi said.

She looked at me.

"Work her throat some. I have to get ready," Desi said.

Desi stepped away. Zophia took my cock in her mouth again. She started going down and I had a hand on her head, but not really pushing. Nevertheless, she took the presence of my hand as a sign to go deep.

"You know, there is something I wanted to try, but I've never had a woman so game to be that submissive," I said.

Zophia took my cock out and caught a breath.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Dick back in, just follow my lead," I said.

She did. I rested my hands behind my head in a relaxed position, and moved my leg behind her head. I pushed her down, and my dick went deep into her throat. Her eyes watered and the breathing through her nose was ragged, but she didn't give up. I loosened my leg and she came back up for air. She got some deep breaths in, wiped the slobber from her face, and got ready to go back in. She moved in, and grabbed my leg to put it behind her head. She was eager and learning.

She was made for this.

We got back to the deep throating. She got better at taking it in, and even started to work her tongue some. By the time she had to come back up for air, Desi had returned. Desi was wearing a strap-on.

"Ready for double cock training?" Desi asked.

"Yes," Zophia said.

"Good. On the floor," Desi said.

Zophia got on her knees on the floor. I stood and Desi and I stood on either side of her. Desi started lightly tapping the dildo on Zophia's face and I started adding my own cock-taps in. Zophia closed her eyes and smiled in reverie.

"You think two dicks is fun, wait until you're getting hit with four or more. Even playing submissive, you have that much cock power under your control," Desi said.

Zophia crouched there for a minute, simply taking in the loving taps. Then she reached up and grabbed my dick and Desi's dildo, and started sucking both in turn. Desi and I stood there, letting Zophia fulfill her craving for cock.

"Have you ever been as happy as her down there?" Desi asked me.

"Once. During my best friend's bachelor party I had three strippers burying me in their boobs," I said.

Desi smiled.

"Maybe one day I can up those numbers for you," she said.

A minute later Zophia was satiated with sucking off both cocks, and looked up to us.

"I'm ready to get double penetrated," she said.

"That's pussy and ass, you're not ready. We'll do anal training later," Desi said, "What you mean is spit roasted."

We all got back on the bed. Desi lay up at the head of the bed, legs spread and dildo ready to take Zophia's mouth. I took Zophia's pussy from behind. It was a perfect test for her training. Desi put her through the rounds with the dildo down her throat, while I was thrusting as deep and hard in her pussy as I could. I gave her ass a few slaps, nearly coming at her gasps muffled by the huge dildo down her throat. At one point I reached forward and took control of her head as it went down Desi's dildo.

I don't know how many times Zophia came in that position, but at one point it hit her so hard she lost her balance.

"I think she's fucked out," Desi said, gently cradling Zophia's head in one hand, while using the other to give her love taps on the face with the spit-covered dildo, "Finish up inside her."

This was the first time I've ever seen an experienced woman truly fucked to her limits.

Zophia might not be Desi, but she had a higher sexual appetite and prowess than the women I'd fucked before. With more experience this amount of sex could just be foreplay for her, but for now I had done my role to push her to the next level. It felt great.

But her being fucked out didn't mean I had to be gentler. I flipped her onto her back and put her legs over my shoulder. I pulled her ass in the air and gripped her cheeks firmly as I thrust my cock in deep. Desi kept tapping her dildo on her face. The position, the posture and Zophia's willingness to take it all was enough to finish me off. I came inside her, feeling the rush of release.

I pulled out of her.

"Give it to me," Desi said.

I went over and Desi sucked my dick clean.

"You need to try some of this cum, Zophie-baby," Desi said.

Desi moved up into a 69 position over Zophia's body. Zophia, still exhausted from being fucked out, simply let the hanging dildo hit her face while Desi moved to her pussy. Desi sucked out my cum from Zophia's pussy. She then moved back up.

She took Zophia's head and gave her a deep kiss, dropping the cum in her mouth. Zophia held her mouth open for a bit, playing with the cum with her tongue, before swallowing.

Desi and I pulled Zophia up into a sitting position.

"You do this every day at work?" Zophia said.

"Sometimes I just do one person or solo," Desi reminded her, "Not every game is the Super Bowl."

Zophia looked at me.

"Thank you," she said.

"Are you going to make as good a podcast as the sex we just gave you?"

"It won't be easy, but I will try," Zophia said.

#

Zophia lived up to her end of the bargain. She did launch her podcast, talking to people in various fields of entertainment, and not on shallow topics for self-promotion. To avoid an early typecasting, she avoided any adult stars. But that didn't mean she didn't get help from the industry. Desi had plenty of male actors and musicians looking to hook up, with Desi telling them to "Help her friend first." More than a few closeted female celebrities did as well.

With Desi doing the sleeping, Zophia was able to avoid having to sleep with guests to get their participation (She did sleep with some, just not in exchange for an interview). Zophia's podcast rose in the rankings.

Meanwhile, Desi and Zophia kept me in the loop on Zophia's training. I was happy last week to receive a series of photos on a secure photo sharing app. It showed a private orgy of Desi, Zophia, and a group of male porn stars dressed in lacrosse uniforms. Zophia and Desi did it all, and it ended with the sweetest picture of both of them smiling with their faces covered in cum.

Zophia asked me to do an interview ahead of the expected Supreme Court decision on the legality of state porn bans. That's what prompted me to slow down, reflect, and write this story.

When Justice Alito asked if Pornhub had articles like Playboy, I think he expected Pornhub to make an ass-saving move like starting its own news and culture content to avoid being labeled as obscene.

I don't think he expected that it would end up with a former strait-laced journalist like Zophia to indulge in an erotic fantasy to give her courage to do a popular mainstream podcast.

I'm no jurist. But I have to thank Justice Alito for doing a service to the fields of journalism by encouraging porn sites to give a little more effort, even if the minimum. If he votes to allow consenting adults to keep their porn, I will have to thank him and send a copy of this story to him.