Full Disclosure Ch. 12

Number 12: The Emotional Side of the Coin

On the polar opposite of the spectrum, Natalie exited her hotel room at ten, wearing a yellow sundress and her white sandals. The top half of her hair was woven in a complex pattern while the bottom curled into waves. She'd taken a long time to get ready, and felt nervous, which was so entirely ridiculous.

But this meant something. This was not just fucking Vincent at the hot tub, or swapping with Jackson. She shared something special with Etienne, and this night was important in more ways than she could count. It was the first night alone with someone, but that could have been anyone and still been important. The fact that it was Etienne made it significant. Pivotal. He truly was the ultimate test. The only person in this world who had the potential to change her mind, to remove her determination.

Time was how Natalie operated. Given any length of time, she was accepting of all things. She'd always found it easy to alter her state of mind, given enough time to do so, and in the five minutes it took to reach Etienne's room, she had calmed the storm, changing in posture from timid to confident.

She gently rapped on his door.

Wearing a slim-fit black and white striped tee and longer black cargo shorts, Etienne grinned at Natalie upon opening the door. His light blue eyes travelled her, just as she couldn't take her eyes off of him. Instead of the messy windswept hair, he'd gelled and swept it up to the opposite side it usually parted on, which added more body than his fine texture had. It highlighted his forehead and arched dark brows, making his light blue eyes more intense.

A rush was felt as she realized he'd taken time to clean up for her, just as she had for him.

"I'm glad you're here," Etienne said warmly, gently touching her waist and leaning in to kiss her cheek. "Please, come in."

Gesturing his hand out toward his room, Natalie slowly entered, looking around. It was pristine in cleanliness, lit only by the bedside lamps, another in the corner, and a few candles on the dresser beside the TV. Upon the table near the window was a bucket of ice containing a bottle of champagne, two empty glasses and a single lit taper. A silver platter also rested upon the table with grapes and strawberries, cheeses and crackers, and Natalie set her handbag down on the bedside table, jaw slack and overwhelmed by the atmosphere that he had clearly taken time and effort to create.

Romance had died for her after her first year married. This brought her back to a time when Elijah would surprise her with a romantic dinner, or a bath with rose petals. They'd go out for romantic evenings, but the effort had disappeared, and over the past year they'd lost even the dates; instead attending shows or company functions out of something to do rather than to excite the other.

Etienne crossed the room to the table and opened the champagne, as Natalie continued her slow journey through the room, running her fingers along the edge of the bed until she met the post closest to the table. Wrapping her arm around it, she leaned her head against the wood. "This is lovely," she said with heartfelt gratitude.

With that beautiful smile, Etienne held out his hand. "Come sit with me," he said as she delicately placed her hand in his. He gently pulled her until their arms straightened at their sides, her shoulder against his as he poured two glasses. She placed a kiss on his shoulder over his shirt before releasing his hand and sitting down on the edge of the chair, taking the glass he offered. "You look beautiful," he added as he sat, taking a sip of his wine.

"You really didn't have to do anything special," Natalie said, eying him through a low gaze as she crossed her legs.

"I did," Etienne disagreed, placing his elbow on the table and leaning toward her. He plucked up a piece of cheese. "I was limited, however. You deserved more," he added, plopping the little square into his mouth.

Natalie chuckled, echoed his posture so their heads were closer across the small round table. "Limited?" she asked, taking a grape. "I'm pretty sure this resort has packages that cover a range of things I couldn't even imagine."

"Ah yes," Etienne said, grinning. "I looked them over, don't think I didn't. But rose petals across a bed?" He shook his head. "While beautiful, far too messy. Also, a candle lit room? Very nice, but too hot for the summer air. Then there were other things." With a piece of cheese in his hand, he pointed at the ceiling behind her. "Rigging a swing?" Natalie looked over her shoulder to see a few metal loops on the ceiling and laughed; she'd noticed them in her own room and hadn't given them much thought until now. Etienne chuckled. "No, I didn't want some pre-determined package," he finally said, shaking his head. "Champagne, a light snack, a little candlelight. Simple."

"I like simple," Natalie said with a pensive smile, warmed to the core by the gesture.

While chewing on another small bit of cheese, Etienne stared at his glass of champagne. "In Paris, I could have done more," he explained casually. "The fromage would have been better."

"Completely," Natalie agreed, then picked up a square of the gruyere. "Though this is delicious," she stated firmly, holding it between them.

Lightly clasping her wrist, Etienne pulled at her hand and took the cheese from her into his mouth. Considering as he chewed, his eyes opened wide as he looked to the side, caressing her hand. Natalie leaned back, wholly seduced by the way his fingers traced the side of her wrist. He was so comfortable and casual in his element, able to captivate her entirely just by sitting at this table.

"You're right," he said appreciatively, then took a sip of his champagne. "That one in particular was delectable."

Twisting her hand to the side, he laid a delicate kiss on her palm, and Natalie was pretty sure she was about to die. He was so suave and charming, while being relaxed and secure, which translated into a great strength and masculinity in her eyes, more than any physical strength could ever offer a man.

"Is this how you get girls to sleep with you?" Natalie said teasingly, taking her hand back. He raised an amused brow, his lips tightening in a grin. "Tempt them with expensive champagne and fruits and candles?"

Etienne shook his head. "No, usually I just flash them a smile, speak a little French," Etienne joked, then as a demonstration, he tucked his chin down, head cocked to the side with his dashing grin and seductive gaze, and fluidly stated, "J'ai tellement envie de toi que ça me rend fou." Natalie blushed with a chuckle. He dropped it the next second, leaned forward again. "No," he responded more seriously. "This is just for you. And not so you'll sleep with me."

"Is that right?" Natalie queried, then took a bite of a strawberry, pulling it from her lips seductively.

"Well, a man can hope," Etienne responded with a shrug, that ever present grin still flashing at her as he brought his glass close to his lips. "But no, I have no expectations. Champagne, fruits, fromage... You're my best company and conversation. It's enough, Natalie."

Watching him sip his champagne, Natalie swallowed heavily. It was overwhelming because she knew he meant it. If he didn't, he may have pressed for more that afternoon on the beach, and she took a drink from her glass as she vividly remembered how all they had done was kiss. His hands had not so much as brushed her breasts, content with just the simple act of making out on the sand. He'd told her slow was fine, and he'd followed through. He could have tried for more, and she probably would have allowed it. What was so magical about him was that he didn't. He conceded to her pace, her decisions, accepting the reality she was in and her necessity to work through her complications.

It only made her fall for him harder, and she inhaled deeply, feeling the answer to her question beginning to form. For a brief moment she thought she should run, save what little semblance she had of what the reality was. But this was just as real, and the moment passed. In the next, she erased Elijah's name from her memory, the past eight years, as she had no doubt he was doing tonight as well. Taking it one step further, she was able to scrub out the rest of the world so that nothing outside of this room existed. Just this room, Etienne topping off their glasses of champagne, herself upon the chair across from him.

With her glass in one hand, she reached for his as she rose. He leaned back in his chair, waiting for her to make a move with that low gaze that seemed able to penetrate her soul. She'd intended to coax him over to the bed, but instead sat down on his lap, her legs between his knees and leaned in to kiss him.

She felt his arms circle her waist, one resting on her hip, the other sliding up between her shoulder blades, pulling her closer, deeper into their kiss. When she leaned back, she took a sip of her champagne, admiring his smile, then set it aside so she could lace her fingers into his hair. "Can there be more than just champagne, fruits et fromage?" she posed, tone hushed and demure.

Her eyes searched him as his gaze fell between them, and he began stroking the skin of her thigh at the hem of her dress. Glancing down, she watched as his fingertips crept under the hem, painstakingly slow with his pace. When she looked back up, his eyes were in hers. "Only if you're ready for more," he responded.

Natalie nodded. "I'm ready for more," she whispered.

Etienne gently coaxed her to her feet as he rose, then walked around her until she could feel him against her back. His hand trailed a soft line across her clavicle, sweeping fully around her neck and taking her hair with it until it cascaded down her left shoulder. His lips met the skin of her neck that he'd exposed as his hands stroked her arms with a feather light touch before crossing over her shoulders on their second pass. She felt one touch the zipper in the middle of her back, and he slowly brought it down.

With great care and soft caresses, he spread the straps at her shoulders until the dress fell from her body all the way to the ground without hitching on her hips. She had not worn a bra, the spaghetti straps wouldn't have allowed for one, but she was now facing out toward the balcony in only her white panties with the curtains and doors wide open, able to be seen by anyone out in the darkness below.

Delicate kisses were planted on her shoulder, his sparse whiskers tickling her skin as his hand flattened against her stomach. "Je te veux," Etienne murmured in a low tone with the fluidity only the French language can achieve. "Je n'ai jamais autant désiré personne de toute ma vie," he continued in a whisper, and Natalie's legs began to tremble, certain she would faint.

"Je veux faire l'amour avec toi," he continued seductively, as his hand lowered to her abdomen. Natalie grew wet as she realized it was all about to happen. She had craved this. The back of his other hand stroked her arm, then lifted hers from the wrist and wrapped it around his neck behind her. "Laisse-moi."

Exhaling, Natalie clutched his neck as she turned her head toward his, meeting his eyes. "Yes," she responded, her tone high pitched and breathy. Her knees were trembling, but it didn't matter, because he effortlessly swept her up into his arms, carried her over to the bed and lowered her upon it.

I want you, he'd said. I've never wanted anyone more in my life. Natalie gazed up at him as he removed his shirt. I want to make love to you. He dropped his shirt to the floor, then unbuttoned his pants, never taking his eyes from hers. Let me.

Stepping from the black shorts, he was in black boxer-briefs, and after kicking out of his shoes, he crawled onto the bed until he was hovering over Natalie, held up by a hand above each shoulder. Running the back of his hand across her cheek, he gently lifted her chin with his thumb. "How are you so beautiful?" he implored, then bent down to kiss her.

Natalie ran her hands across his skin, his sides, his shoulder blades. He kissed his way down her neck, her sternum, continued to her stomach with a hand trailing over her right breast until he was sitting on his heels between her legs, his hand settling on her stomach. He sighed, and Natalie was amazed by his restraint; it was so foreign. "It's hard for me to believe you exist. But that you're here..."

The journey of his hand continued toward her hip as he sat further back, shaking his head in awe. He couldn't be feeling half the awe Natalie felt as he slid off the end of the bed, then began to remove her sandals with careful, deliberate motions. Once he'd finished, he raised her leg and kissed her ankle before crawling back upon the bed until he was over her once more.

"How do you do it?" Natalie asked in wonder after a sensual kiss.

"Do what?" Etienne inquired, eyes travelling her face with fascination.

"Make me feel like I've never been kissed before," she replied, studying him with the same fascination. His eyes lowered as a serene smile crossed his lips. "I'm serious," she continued, amazed by him. Touching the side of his face, she brought his eyes back to hers. "How do you do it?"

He ran his hand down over her shoulder, flipping it to the backside just before it skimmed over her breast, and she could feel her skin light on fire, nipples aching. "It's maybe that I kiss you the way you're supposed to be kissed," he said, watching his hand. His fingers danced around her nipple and Natalie let out a small moan of pleasure, aching for him.

"And how is that?" she asked between a stunted breath, her voice quivering.

Finally. Finally his hand covered her breast and she arched her back to press herself against his palm, feel the pressure. "Like there is no other woman in the world," Etienne said huskily, then brought his lips to hers, and she lost herself fully in the passion of it, gripping his shoulders as though if she let go, he'd disappear.

In fact, hard as she tried, she couldn't get close enough. Raising her hips, she could feel his erection between her legs and moaned with need. He hooked his arms beneath hers as he began to shower her chest with attention. Raising her arms above her head, Natalie writhed in ecstasy, as though her skin had never been touched before. Each inch he covered tingled after he left it, and just as she was about to beg for him, he started making his way down her stomach, hands scraping down her back as she arched higher.

When they came to rest just above her ass, he mumbled something in French that she couldn't hear, thought to ask what he'd said, but he gripped the sides of her underwear and began to work them from her body. Once fully nude, he sat still, and with a look of admiration, he said, "Si belle."

His head dove between her legs, spreading them with his hands as she wailed from the sudden contact. It happened so fast, but all of that energy from her desperate need to be closer exploded into an orgasm the second his tongue licked an upward line between her lips, and she quaked for a moment, shocked it had happened at all.

"Oh my god," she suddenly cried, lacing her fingers into her hair as an aftershock made her body shudder. Staring at him with a confused grin, she said, "That's never happened before."

His fingers began to swirl around her, gently stroking her mound, now more sensitive. "An orgasm?" he inquired.

Natalie shook her head and began to laugh. "No," she said. "But... you were there two seconds!"

"Mmm," he agreed with a nod, his features morphing from amusement to determination. "I'd like to be there much more than two seconds," he added, then slowly lowered his head once more.

This time Natalie was calmer, though still in shock that it had happened just like that. It was almost embarrassing; she suddenly understood why men would feel shame when they'd come too quickly. Shame wasn't what she felt, but she'd given away just how aroused he'd made her, and it was continuing as his tongue swirled, his fingers exploring.

When she orgasmed again, it was longer and gentler, instead taking the form of pulses through her body, and Etienne didn't pause until she'd relaxed once more, feeling light headed. When she looked down, she watched him crawl over her leg toward the other side of the bed and reach into the drawer.

Retrieving a condom, he began to open the packaging, and she quickly rose and scooted over, placing her hand over his. "No," she said, shaking her head and staring at him meaningfully.

"No to..." he began, raising a brow.

Natalie took the condom from him and set it on the bedside table. "No to that," she said gravely. "Not no to you." To emphasize her point, she placed her hand on his erection over his underwear and began to massage him. "Unless you'd prefer one, but don't use one for me."

Swiftly pivoting, Etienne climbed on top of her, taking to her mouth once more. She could taste herself on his lips and her need was becoming this tangible entity taunting her. "You are sure?" Etienne breathed, rubbing his cheek against hers.

"I want to feel you," she whimpered in response, then traced her hand across the elastic of his underwear. "Please. I need to feel you."

Balance was difficult for a moment as Etienne used one hand to work his boxer-briefs down, Natalie assisting him for efficiency. Once he'd kicked them from his ankles, he locked eyes with Natalie as she wrapped a leg around his hips. She'd had men look at her with desire before, but hard as she tried, she couldn't recall anyone looking at her the way Etienne did just now. His chin was tucked, brows low, but eyes wide, the light blue piercing her as the corner of his mouth twitched twice before curving into a grin.

Natalie's ache increased as she felt the pressure of him, positioned. Taking both of her hands, he raised them over her head until he was able to place his elbows on the pillow above her shoulders. As he slowly entered, she felt the pressure of them keeping her in position as she let out a wail of pleasure, finally interlocking together.

The initial pain was always there, size was irrelevant. But it didn't register in the way it always had before, not really. What far outweighed the first shock to her muscles stretching against the intrusion was how right it felt. How her craving was being sated. How she felt a void being filled and never wanted to be empty again.

"Tu es le ciel," Etienne murmured against her lips, letting them drift over hers without an actual kiss.

She didn't consider herself heaven, but she felt as though she'd been admitted to heaven in this moment; Etienne nothing less than a God. Though he was fully embedded, tender with how he began to slowly pump, she still couldn't get close enough. She wanted to fuse her body to his, allow him to sink inside. "More," she pleaded, shivering with need. "Oh please..."

"Shhh," he breathed soothingly, maintaining his languid motions. Releasing a hand, he cradled her cheek. "Look at me," he urged, stroking her skin with his thumb. "Stay in my eyes."

Natalie quieted. Swallowed, determined to follow his instruction. And she noticed after a moment that the urgency evaporated, and with it, she was allowed to feel him in a way she hadn't before. With the calm came peace as her focus was drawn to his motions, how full she felt, the divine friction, and the level at which they connected with the eye contact.

"There," he said, smiling at her. His eyes lightly closed with a thrust, a quiet groan of pleasure as he thrust once more and kissed her lips, still cradling her cheek. "Be with me here, in this moment." His hand glided down her neck, across her chest until he gently teased her nipple. Natalie quivered from the touch, but stayed in the moment.

"I'm with you," she responded, letting go of the need for more. He was right. They would have so much time for more, and if they could stay lost within the other like this for long enough, energy would be maintained. She was so used to being fucked, rushing toward a climax with a partner, only so they could start round two, then round three. But round one was perfect with Etienne, why rush to exhaustion when she could feel whole now? "I'm with you," she repeated, bringing her free hand down to his cheek and pulling him into another kiss.

It was a long time before any real pace was picked up, just gentle strokes and small circles; with them, a slight change of angle, but pleasure still increasing at a leisurely pace. It was tantric, the intimacy of it, a languid build up before Natalie's muscles began to seize, her legs trying to squeeze together without her giving them permission. A mass had built up that could no longer be contained, and it seemed Etienne noticed it without a word from her lips, only a rising pitch in her moans.

"Release it," he said as he widened her legs, then picked up his pace, only with longer strokes where his abdomen rubbed her clit, nearly leaving her before the next thrust, each more forceful than the last. "Give yourself to me."

That was all it took for the mass to explode, as Natalie experienced one of the greatest orgasms of her life, momentarily leaving her body. She only knew she was still in it with the thrust that sent him over the edge, and she could feel his entire body tense against hers as he let out a groan, emptying himself in her depths.

As their senses returned, they entered into another passionate kiss, breathless, and she was grateful he was still inside, as she wasn't ready to lose him. But as these things go, he slid from her after a minute and rolled to her side, using his middle finger to trace her skin across her chest while propped up on his elbow.

"I've never felt like that before," Natalie admitted, staring at him in wonder. She'd made love before, but nothing compared to that experience.

"I haven't either," Etienne responded, looking down at his hand.

Raising a brow, Natalie looked for any sign that he wasn't telling the truth. Not finding it, she rolled her eyes. "No way," she determined. "You knew how to do that. That was a practiced art."

Etienne smiled with a small sigh. "It wasn't," he responded, bringing his eyes to hers. "You said you wanted to feel me. I wanted nothing more than the same. I couldn't bear to rush it." His fingertip stroked her nipple, and Natalie let out a sigh. "You asked for more. I want to give you more." The stroking evolved to a light pinch. "And I will. But... our first. I didn't want it to end too soon."

"I felt the same," Natalie replied. "The second you told me to stay with you, it was like flicking a switch. And everything changed. I felt you the way I'd wanted to, I just hadn't known the extent of it. But I was with you. Truly with you."

They rested in their reverie, stroking one another's bodies and showering compliments to reset, as this was far from over.

It still felt shocking to her how heightened their connection had been throughout the last half hour of sex. No words would form in her head to come close to explaining it. The word love formed and she tried to push it from her brain. But that was what she had felt. Love. And it terrified her.

In order to force the thought away, she sat up. "But I really do need more," she said, then crawled over him as he laid back. Straddling his thighs, she began to stroke him with a wicked grin. "I feel empty without you inside of me." Gazing down, she finally laid eyes on his cock, which was growing against her palm. He was uncircumcised and extremely long, though with a more average girth. She wanted to suck him, but the fact that she truly felt his absence between her legs won out. Raising herself, she held him in position before slowly sinking down upon him as her head fell back with the pleasure of taking him inside of her again.

He held her hips as she placed a hand on his chest, then began to rock so he'd hit all the spots she loved. Taking full control, she rode him to orgasm in less time than they'd spent before, though still a good fifteen minutes, taking in his groans against her moans until she'd collapsed into his arms.

She still had the physical energy, as well as being mentally alert and awake. But she knew a longer break would be necessary. Rolling from him, she sat up. "I need a drink," she said, then climbed from the bed over to the champagne. Topping off her glass, she looked over her shoulder to see his light blue eyes travelling her naked body, and a delighted grin formed on her lips that she couldn't hide. "Thirsty?"

"Oui, but I prefer to lay here watching you," Etienne responded. "Your body is a work of art."

Adding champagne to his half full glass, she picked them both up. "Then I'll bring it to you," she said, spinning around.

"No wait," he said, holding up a hand. He sat up, and she realized he wanted to continue to look. Sticking her hip out, she struck a pose with a smile, which echoed on his lips. "Okay," he continued, then stood up from the bed. When he reached her, he placed a hand on her ass, taking the glass from her. "I just needed one second. Just to accept that you're really here."

"I'm here," Natalie responded gently, placing her hand on his chest as she took a large drink of the champagne, not having realized how parched she was. "And I'll stay here as long as you'll have me."

Etienne laughed. "Until next Saturday?" he asked. Natalie giggled as she rolled her eyes. "Alright. The night, at least?"

"Yes, the night," she agreed. Looking out into the darkness, she could feel the cooler air through the wide open doors, and a self-consciousness set in that suddenly felt hysterical. Covering her mouth with her hand, she said, "Oh my god, the doors! And the curtains!"

Taking her glass, Etienne set them both down on the table. "And?"

"Anyone down there can see us," she hissed, then bit her lip, as there was a part of it that was thrilling.

With a single nod, Etienne took her hand and began to walk toward the doors. "Yes, you're right," he said as they crossed the threshold onto the deck. He spun her around so she walked backwards until she felt the cool railing against her back, unable to stop giggling. "Does it bother you if they see?"

After taking only a second to consider, Natalie's smile widened. "No," she replied honestly.

In a swift motion, Etienne hoisted her leg up against his hip. "Then let them see," he said, then entered her with a sudden upward thrust that sent her into a cry.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, he thrust again, and the wickedness of it was exhilarating. For the most part, everything they'd done so far had been slow and sensual. And while there was still an erotic aspect, his pace was wilder than before, and Natalie let loose, moaning freely and loudly as he took her against the railing for anyone below to see.

From there, they had sex three more times, each wilder than the last, though after the foray on the balcony, Etienne had shut the doors and closed the curtains. Once thoroughly exhausted, they cuddled up together beneath the sheets, Natalie's head resting against his chest as he stroked her arm and shoulder as she fell asleep.

"I'm falling in love with you."

At least that's what she thought he said, or maybe she'd said it, her subconscious speaking on her behalf. It could just as well have been a dream, because it hardly registered before she was fully taken by sleep.