Strange Spaceship in the Driveway

Strange Spaceship in the Driveway

© 2026 by Jalibar62

@*@*@*@

This story evolved from a writing exercise that was discussed by the two main characters in BAY2SOUND's "Write 'Em Cowboy", in which was posited, "what if - rather than a strange car in the driveway..."

Anyway, I got to thinking, 'What if someone really did come home to find that?' And then I thought, 'That sounds like something that would happen to JT Winslow.'

ThatNewGuy submitted a comment for "Bad Hair Day", asking if I imagined myself speaking in JT's voice. I absolutely do. I'm hearing it now, as I type. What's even worse, I have a habit of taking audio notes when I am away from my computer, and I actually speak to the recorder with JT's voice. It's becoming a problem.

As much as I hate to subject y'all to the trauma, you might want to read "Bad Hair Day" first. This isn't exactly a sequel, but there's a fair amount of backstory there. And maybe a chuckle or two. Also, "Words from a Country Song, Ch 06" has a little bit more about JT and Amber.

I couldn't bring myself to torment any editors with this, so... you get what you get.

@*@*@*@

I was standin' on the corner, starin' across the street at my house, when Amber pulled up and rolled down the window. I had my head sorta cocked to one side, and she said, "What in tarnation are you starin' at, JT? What're you doin' out here, you lost your keys or somethin'?"

Not even lookin' at her, I just pointed. She turned to look, and her jaw kinda fell open.

She stared, and then she stared some more, and finally she said, "What the... is that some kinda new 'lectric car?"

When I just looked at her, my eyebrows climbin', she shook her head with a grimace. "Yeah, I didn't think so. Hadda ask." She took a breath. "JT... that's a fuckin' spaceship."

"Well you're right about that, I guess." I scratched my head. "You know... I always figgered it'd be some fancy foreign job I'd come home to one day."

She looked at me like I'd farted in church.

I just kep' starin' at the... spaceship. Strange, yeah, right. That's one o' them, whatchacallit... shit, Brandi taught me the word. Uhh... 'tot' something. Hang on a sec, it'll come to me. Oh! 'Tautology', that's it. Coz any spaceship showin' up in a man's driveway would be considered strange, and this weren't no exception.

Now wait just a goddamn minute. I seen the look on your face. What, you think a good ol' boy like me can't use the word 'tautology'? Too incongruous for your ass? Shit fire and damnation y'all, just coz I talk like this don't mean I'm ignorant!

Okay, okay, I accept your apology. Let's get back to the story.

Now where was I. Oh yeah. So anyway, it looked like... well, like a fuckin' spaceship, what do you want from me? I ain't no rocket scientist!

Sorry, that was ruder'n I intended. It's just... I was a mite perturbed at the moment.

@*@*@*@

Oh, shit, my manners. Hey y'all, it's me, John Thomas Winslow - JT to my friends. Maybe you recollect that incident over to the college with my wife Roberta - err, ex-wife - that happened a while back.

Anyway, Amber - she's my girlfriend now - parked in the street, coz, you know, fuckin' spaceship in the way, and got out.

"Welp," she said, hitchin' her thumbs into the front pockets of her painted-on jeans and rockin' back on the heels of her worn Ariats. "Let's go see what's what, you reckon?"

"Yep," I reckoned.

As we walked toward the house, Amber turned and asked, "JT, I just thought of somethin'. Why ain't the damn army parked out front with tanks and bazookas and whatnot?"

I blinked. Shit, that was a pretty damn good question. Then I noticed cars drivin' by and payin' no never mind to what was surely not somethin' you see every day. That seemed a little odd to me. I pointed it out to Amber and she allowed that it seemed odd to her too.

I just shrugged and said we'd worry about that later. First we had to deal with whatever was goin' on.

The door, or hatch, or whatever, to the ship was open, and we peeked inside. It sure did look bigger inside than out, which was also kinda weird, but it appeared to be empty.

"You reckon... whatever it is... is in the house?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Christ on a cracker," I swore. I jogged back to the truck and got my four-pound dead blow hammer from the big toolbox. I also grabbed a two-inch crescent wrench and handed it to Amber. In case you were wonderin', that joker is about a foot and a half long and weighs near five pounds. She hefted it in her hand and nodded at me.

I knew better'n to ask her to wait outside.

We went inside real quiet like. Didn't hear nothin', 'til we got close to the stairs, then... Aww, fuck me sideways. I knew what that sound was. God damn it!

But what I didn't recognize was this weird 'meep meep meep' noise, that was comin' from the same direction.

We snuck up the stairs and peeked into Bobbi's room. Sure as all get out, there she was, on all fours huffin' and puffin', while this little green fella was behind her, just goin' to town. He was so short that he could do it standin' up, and he was the one makin' those 'meep meep' sounds.

"God damn it, Bobbi!" I threw my hat on the floor. "Now you're fuckin' aliens?"

The little green dude jumped about two feet in the air, and started to point this gizmo at me, so I smacked it outa his hand. "You little peckerwood! I'm fixin' to kick your little green ass!"

Then I noticed that Bobbi was actin' all confused, glassy-eyed and drooling a little. Hold up, maybe this wasn't exactly what you'd call consensual.

That little green fucker tried to run out the door, but Amber tripped him up and sat on him 'til I could grab a coupla zip ties, and we got him hog-tied pretty good. He quit wigglin' then, and just lay there, lookin' kinda defeated.

Meanwhile, Bobbi started to come around. "JT? What's goin' on? Why am I naked, were we havin' sex?"

Then she saw the little green dipshit and screamed, and grabbed the sheet to cover up. Damn, now that I knew it wasn't her fault, I was kinda enjoyin' the view. Bobbi was my age, but she was still a fine-lookin' woman.

"What the hell is that??" she stuttered, her eyes big.

"Well baby, I ain't quite sure how to tell you, but this little green bastard was the one fuckin' you, not me."

"WHAT???" In her shock, she let the sheet slip down to her waist. Not that I was complainin'!

Amber went and put an arm around her. "Come on, honey, I don't think it's your fault. I think maybe he did something to you!" Just for fun, she tweaked Bobbi's nipple, coz... well, they were right there out in the open! Bobbi swatted at her hand, kinda absent-minded like.

"Really?" She looked like she might cry. "You gotta know I wouldn't cheat on you, JT, not again!"

Amber shushed her, saying, "Don't worry, honey, we believe you." They looked at me, and I nodded. Amber thought a minute, while I contemplated firin' up the barbecue and lookin' up a recipe for fricasseed Martian.

Finally, she asked, "JT, what's that little ray gun thingy you knocked outa his hand?"

I picked it up. "This? Damned if I know, but I aim to find out!" When I pointed it at the space alien, his eyes got real big. I mean, they were already pretty big, but now they were ginormous. He was shakin' his head and makin' some 'ack ack' noises, but I don't speak Martian, so I pulled the trigger.

I half expected to blow a hole in his little green ass, but what happened was even weirder! His little green dick, which had shrunk down to a nub by then, suddenly shot back to full strength - which wasn't sayin' much, if I'm bein' honest - but anyway, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he started humpin' the air like a spastic Cocker Spaniel on Spanish Fly.

I looked at the gizmo, then I looked at Amber. She looked at me, then at the green dude, who was still humpin' away at nothin', and makin' those 'meep meep' noises again.

She stared at him in kinda horrified fascination. "JT... you think maybe that's some kind of sex ray?"

I got an evil grin. "Only one way to find out, baby!"

"JT, no! God dam..."

ZZzap!

"Ooohhh!"

Well about an hour later, I was tryin' to catch my breath, Bobbi was starin' at us in amazement (and had one hand 'tween her legs) and Amber had a big ol' smile plastered across her face. She'd come down from the effects of that sex-ray thingy in mid-stroke, but she was a trooper and hung in there 'til I finished. I don't reckon I heard her complainin', anyway.

"I oughta be pissed at you, JT, but I gotta admit, that was awesome. It's weird, things were pretty fuzzy for a while, like I was dreamin' or somethin'?"

Bobbi was noddin' her head. "Exactly! But it felt pretty good, right? Like a sexy dream?"

Amber nodded bak. "Right!"

Bobbi looked at me, chewin' her lip a bit, and asked a little scared-like, "You ain't mad at me, JT?"

"Naw, I reckon not, since you was hypnoticized by this here gizmo." I waved the ray-gun around and Amber 'bout dove under the bed. But then she started to giggle. "So, how did the little green dude do?"

He had recovered too, and was layin' there, just lookin' sad.

Bobbi whispered, "I don't remember too much, but... let's just say he ain't no JT." And damn it, they both grinned at me.

@*@*@*@

Maybe y'all are wonderin' why in tarnation Bobbi is in my house in the first place. After all, I did divorce that cheatin' slut for screwin' that college professor. Well maybe callin' her a slut ain't fair, exactly; but that turtleneck-wearin' sonovabitch filled her head fulla nonsense, and left me no choice but to divorce her.

Oh, and he got his too, trust me.

But shit, I couldn't stay mad at her, especially not after Amber decided she was willin' to share. No, I didn't remarry her, hell no, Amber was my girlfriend now, but Bobbi... well, she swore she learned her lesson, was real sorry, and then she reckoned that she'd be okay sharin' me too.

How'd that happen, you ask?

Well, after I picked my jaw up off the floor, me 'n Amber talked it over. Well... Amber talked and I listened. She told me somebody needed to act like a grown-up about this, and damned if she wasn't lookin' straight at me.

Anyway, we had Bobbi over one evenin', and Amber made chicken and dumplings. Bobbi was nervous as a long-tail cat, but after she got a bite of Amber's dumplin's, she settled down.

"Okay, JT, start talkin'," Amber tol' me after we had our coffee.

Well, ain't nothin' like bein' put on the spot, is there? I hemmed and hawed a while, until Amber kicked me under the table.

So I hitched up my britches, looked at Bobbi, and started talkin'. I allowed as she'd been a real good wife and momma, except for that little spell she had. I believed she was sorry. I wasn't gonna remarry her, but if Amber was okay with sharin', then so was I.

After she stopped cryin', and huggin' on both of us, we talked things out, and then Amber says, "Bobbi, makes no sense you livin' in that lil dumpy place all the way 'cross town. Why don't you just move in here?"

And I had to pick my jaw up off the floor again.

@*@*@*@

Oh shoot, I'm gettin' ahead of myself again. Last y'all knew, I was livin' in a little apartment out back of my shop, and Amber had a single-wide down in Pair o' Dice Palms Luxury Village.

Long story short, I moved into Amber's trailer and started renting the studio to my daughter Ellie's boyfriend Benji. Ellie was still sharin' an apartment with her friend Lettie and another girl. I still ain't used to the whole 'boyfriend' thing, but Benji's a good kid and treats her like gold, far as I can see.

Long as I could pretend that they were just hangin' out and weren't havin' no sleepovers, I could just about wrap my head around the fact that my little girl was datin'. Amber would just roll her eyes and remind me that Ellie was twenty years old. And I'd remind her about the kinda shit we got up to in the bedroom, and that I'd had a kid before I was 20, and then she'd smirk and say, 'oh yeah, maybe you should worry.' She wasn't helpin' one damn bit.

Anyway, it wasn't too long afore Amber decided we needed a bigger place, and I said, "Whatever you want, sugar," which is usually the right answer, for all you young fellas out there. Usually. Knowin' when it's ain't, that's the trick.

So, we started house huntin'. Pretty soon it was Amber doin' most of the huntin'. She told me to take my ass on to work and she'd handle it. And she found the perfect place, down near the river, that was still close to my shop and Amber's salon.

It had a nice big front porch and a deck out back. The kitchen had all of that fancy stuff that women like, and it had room to move around in. Best of all, it had a nice big man cave for me, my recliner, and a new TV. Hell, it even had four bedrooms! A big one for me 'n Amber, then Bobbi had her room even though we all three shared the big bed most o' the time. Brandi had her room too, and the last one was for Ellie if she wanted to come over, but mostly the girls used it for extra closet space. With all of us chippin' in, we could afford it.

The best part was the big, detached garage. It was big enough to fit all three of our cars, the pontoon boat, my tools, the ridin' lawn mower... well, you get the idea.

Amber sublet her trailer to her new apprentice at the salon. Her name was Tiffani, and damn, that girl was trouble with a capital T. And a fuckin' 'i', too. More about her later.

Anyway, Bobbi gave notice at her rental, and pretty soon we was all moved in together.

So far it's worked out. 'Course, then we found her fuckin' that Martian. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't her fault. We already been over that.

@*@*@*@

A little while later we were all sittin' at the kitchen table, and all of a sudden, Amber snapped her fingers and said, "Damn, I'm dumber 'n a basket of bowlin' balls. We oughta call Brandi, she knows all about this stuff!"

I shook my head. "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit. You're right, sugar. Why dint I think o' that?"

Y'all remember Brandi, right? Cute little curly-headed blonde? Hosts a show called Weirder Than Weird, and while she's sweeter than Tupelo honey, she has a certain morally flexible character that I really admire. She's prolly Amber's best friend, and yeah, with benefits, in case you perverts were wonderin'. Most important, she's family. Don't go makin' it weirder than it already is.

Anyway, we called her, and just asked her to come by as soon as she could, and that it was important. Lucky for us, she was just finishin' up an episode about the Wampus Cat, and said she could be there in a coupla hours. She usually stayed with us anyway, I mean, she was on the road a lot, but this was her home too.

Bobbi happened to be lookin' out the front when Brandi arrived, and gave out a holler. Brandi pulled up out front - good thing or she woulda run smack into that spaceship - and hopped out o' that old purple VW minibus of hers. It had a Weirder Than Weird mural painted on one side and "The Truth is Out There" on the other. Now, Brandi claims she don't believe none of the stuff she puts on her show, but...

Anywho, she hopped out and ran over to us, as we came out to greet her. Hugs all around, and with me that meant her feet were about eight inches off the ground, those perky boobies of hers pushed up against me, and little JT startin' to salute. Amber noticed - she has kinda a sixth sense when it comes to little JT - and she started to smirk.

"Look out, Brandi, JT's gonna drag you upstairs if you don't cut it out!"

Well, she was givin' me a "happy to be home" kiss, and for some reason it involved a lot of tongue, and it took us a few seconds to get untangled from each other. Brandi was breathin' a little heavy, and said I could drag her anywhere, as far as she was concerned.

I gave Amber a puppy-dog look, and she stamped her foot. "Damn it y'all, we got a durn Martian tied up in the bedroom!" Then she grinned. "We can get caught up later. And I do mean 'we'," and she gave Brandi her own welcome home kiss. Hot damn, that woke little JT right back up again!

Brandi turned to Bobbi and grinned. "Don't worry honey, I didn't forget about you," and gave her a big hug and a peck on the lips.

Pleasantries concluded, Brandi put her hands on her hips and stared at what was occupyin' the driveway.

"Y'all..."

"Yep."

"That's..."

"Yep."

"Can I...."

"I can almost guarantee it, baby. But I think you're gonna want to see what we got inside first."

"But..."

Amber put an arm around her. "It'll still be here after supper."

"But... but... spaceship!"

"I know, sugar, I know. Come on, now."

I grabbed Brandi's bag, and we all trooped inside.

@*@*@*@

"Yep, that's a frikkin' Martian, alright," Brandi opined a few moments later. She was holdin' one elbow in her hand, and tappin' her chin with one finger of the other hand. Then she put her hands on her hips and started tappin' her foot.

"Where'd you find him?" she finally asked.

"On that bed right there," Amber said. "He was fuckin' the hell outa poor Bobbi!"

Bobbie turned bright red as Brandi eyed her. "I don't remember nothin'! You even said so, JT, it wasn't my fault!"

I put an arm around her. "Now, now, it's okay Bobbi, I know he did somethin' to ya. Don't you fret none."

Turning to Brandi, I showed her the gizmo I'd confiscated from the little green fucker. Hah. Then I told her about usin' it on the Martian, and then on Amber, and what happened. Amber hid behind Bobbi and glared at me when I got to that part of the story, but Brandi's eyes jus' kep' getting' wider and wider.

"Holy shit, JT! This might be an actual Martian Slut Ray! I thought they were a myth!" And she took it from me, and pointed it at the girls. Bobbi ducked outa the way, leavin' Amber standin' there.

"Oh God damnit, not agai..."

ZZzap!

"Ooohhh!"

Well about another hour later, Brandi and me both was tryin' to catch our breath, Bobbi had her hand inside her panties again, and Amber had another big ol' smile plastered across her face. Along with a heapin' helpin' of Brandi's girl cum.

Well, we all got cleaned up and dressed, and Brandi squatted down next to the little fella.

He kinda shrank away from her, and she said, "Don't worry, we aren't gonna hurt you. Can you understand us?" She pointed at her mouth, then at him. He looked at her, then pointed at his own mouth, which was just a little slit with hardly no lips at all, and shook his head. Then he pointed at that big ol' noggin and nodded.

Brandi scrunched up her eyebrows, and said thoughtfully, "Looks like you can understand us, but... can't talk? At least not in English?"